My Boyfriend Just Told Me He Has A Diaper Fetish.

[SnapPea]

My boyfriend of 4 years just told me that he has a diaper fetish.

While I don't understand the idea and meaning behind this fetish I am accepting of it. I love him very much and I know that this has taken alot for him to bring it up to me. While I want the time to try and take in this information I was wondering if any of you could possibly give me any advice? Maybe even after some time I can involve myself in diaper play with him!

While this all just happened today I would still like to talk to him. What relevant questions can I ask him to see what kind of diaper play he is into? Any other thoughts or suggestions?

I don't want to push the issue. I just want to have a causal conversation about this and would like to be more educated in the different types of diaper play.

Thank you all so much!

[BabyGizmo]

The first step to living with a Diaper lover is exactly what you are doing. It is very Nice to see someone able to accept us.

Here are some good questions you can ask and why.

1) How to they make Him feel? this one will help you find out if he is Comforted by diapers, aroused by them, or maybe both.

2) How often does he partisipate in this fetish? this will let you know if it will be a financal burden or an obsession. if its a 24/7 thing it could interfere with personal life, so be carefull.

3) Does he want you to wear? this is so you know how involved you will be in his fetish. Ask if he wants to chang you or you change him.

4) Does he wet or mess these diapers? wetting is simple enough to deal with, as long as you toss them quickly after. messing can be fun as well, but a bit of a mess to clean up. it all may sound a little gross, but its alot of fun. try to keep an open mind.

5) the last really good question is does he also have adult baby tendancies? alot of us have told people we like diapers to test the waters, even if we are full adult babies because adult babies are a bit harder to take than diapers alone. so he may be hiding a bit more of himself than you think.

There is alot to learn about us. we have nothing to do with real kids and a diaper fetish or adult baby side is nothing that can be dangerious. its can be alot of fun, relaxing, and a great way to pas the time. good luck, and have fun!

[ppbenn]

First let me say thank you for taking the time to find out more about this fetish!

Second as to open ended questions I would find out what types of diapers he like to wear. ( i.e cloth or disposable, thick like Bambinos or thin like depends.) What else does he fantasize about when he thinks about diapers? Is it sexual for him or not. Does the want for diapers dissipates after he has " release?"

Those are just a few that come to mind right away. Again thank you for wanting to find out more that really is rare to find someone who wants to be informed about this fetish in order to help their significant other be happier.

[freswith]

Well done for being so sensible. Your boyfriend has spent four years plucking up the courage to tell you about this, and obviously values you and trusts you immensely. The fact that you have come here shows that you value his affections just as greatly. You can probably be assured that you have now got to his innermost sanctum, and be happy that he has nothing worse to hide.

You now have a second string to your bow, and can vary your love-making accordingly. May it never go stale on you! Enjoy each other!

Good luck!

[luv2beSpanked]

Ask how it started for him. Usually you can find some answers in his history of wearing diapers! And if you are open to it as you say just ask him all your questions! You'll get all your answers and he'll be more than willing to tell you all about it. I'll answer some of your questions just to give you a feel as to what he might say.

Second as to open ended questions I would find out what types of diapers he like to wear. ( i.e cloth or disposable, thick like Bambinos or thin like depends.)

Depends on what he likes to wear. For myself I like the think disposable diapers. Not really into the cloth and plastic pants.

What else does he fantasize about when he thinks about diapers?

This could be anything! Could be you wearing a diaper with him or you giving him a spanking! You will have to get him to answer that. lol

Is it sexual for him or not.

Sometimes it is! Being put in a diaper gives a feeling like looking at porn (not kidding). The chemical stimulants released in the brain can give that feeling.

Does the want for diapers dissipates after he has " release?"

Not really. after a "release" it usually involves a diaper change! lol

Hope this helps somewhat, but like I said just ask him!

EDIT: ROFL I answered somebody else's questions! sorry ppbenn lol

[rosalie.bent]

Is anyone else's 'radar' going off with this OP? is my cynicism turned up too high today?

[gah!ghost]

I pushed it out of my mind as being too cynical as well… but I had the same thought on reading it. Not sure precisely what set off my warning bells though.

[SnapPea]

NO I am not. I really want to know! I love him so much and it took alot for him to come and bring this us to me. I want to support him and keep the line of communication open. I just didn't know the questions to ask! So thank you to everybody being willing to open up to me about hings I could ask. I do understand the cynicism. I know this is some sort of taboo. I just have this feeling of wanting to understand him. Like seeing the look on his face when he was saying "I was trying for so long to tell you this" really made me want to find out more. I am not a troll. I am a genuine person with a genuine interest in learning, Just as you are a person with genuine feelings.

[gah!ghost]

It seems to happen less here than another forum I visited but from time to time people, particularly when new, will come and post things that may be more fiction than reality. So there's a touch of distrust from some of us that are more experienced with the community. No harm meant.

In regards to your original question, YES! Communication is key. Not just in this specific case but in all of life. Nothing causes more issues and conflict than a break down in communication. I don't think the questions themselves are important so much as asking them in the first place. I think additionally encouraging him to ask about your interests strange or normal as they might be would be good as well. A conversation is better than a interrogation most of the time.

[SnapPea]

NO I understand it as a form of self defense. I should have maybe gone into more detail about the situation!

I have know something was bothering him for over a year. He would just never communicate with me! (I think it's because we are seriously looking into marriage and maybe he wanted to get this off of his chest.)

I knew it wasnt something he was comfortable talking about so I went through this life change of becoming more open and accepting things I would have just written off. Maybe that had something to do with him opening up to me.

I have no idea what made him open up. I am just glad he did. So now it is my part to get educated so we know how to communicate about this.

[CrimsonStephy]

yes, communication is number one with every situation. particularly in this case, as with you being so open and accepting, i think with a little bit of time and education on the subject... you two will be just fine. depending on his extent of the fetish..... as it has been said before, it can be a money eater. fortunately for me, i not only love diapers, but im incontinent as well so i get my diapers from the insurance. i got lucky... many others dont! and thus, fear will settle. fear of judgement, fear of unacceptance, etc. etc. but as long as that line of communication is open, there is room to overcome anything.

[diaprbayb]

Ok, but here is the the strange thing. He tells you this just the other day. you all these questions. not sure what to say.

Yet, you jump right into one of the most popular websites with thousands of strangers and ask us for help?

last thing my wife wanted to happen after she found out is to let "the world know she knows"

how do you know whether we know more about him then you do?

how did you find this place, is he a member? for how long?

[rosalie.bent]

I have to say I have doubts about the veracity of the OP but I will momentarily put that to one side. My advice is simply this: dont talk to us, talk to him. He knows what he wants, not us.

[Bettypooh]

Sorry for the cynics here Some folks here find anything they don't understand unbelievable, but those of us who have seen more have a different point of view You can learn a lot about people who like to wear diapers here, for here we have all kinds in more numbers than just about anyone else But that doesn't at all mean that we have anything in common with each other beyond wearing diapers!

From what you write I can see a few things- first is that he is uncomfortable with his 'quirk'. It's really hard to get someone else to understand or accept something you don't understand or accept yourself. That he was willing to go this far with you shows that he trusts you on a deep level It also shows that he wants to go further with this- perhaps to become more comfortable with it; perhaps to spend more time doing it; perhaps to see whether he can really trust you; perhaps hoping that you or someone will help him understand or be more comfortable with himself. This is a beginning, so go slow and easy with it- guys with unusual quirks like this are often as skittish as spooked horses until they reach a basic level of self-acceptance and if he 'bolts' it may be years before he approaches this once again. Worse is that it might spook him forever and cause him to hate himself for something he cannot help feeling

A relationship relies on honest communication freely given. You don't want to 'draw him out'- that can make him feel pressure to be or do something that isn't really there. There's a time for that but it's later, not at the beginning. What you want to do is 'leave the door open' so to say, making sure that he knows he can go through it in either direction anytime he wants to without alienating your affection. That will give him a 'comfort zone' he can feel safe in And you need to be ready to have him walk through that door anytime. Things like this can make you feel overwhelmed to the point where it all just bursts out sometimes. By letting him work through this at his own speed you relieve some of that pressure for him. And as he discovers that he can really go at his own speed he will become more comfortable doing that You seem level-headed to me and at this point of things he needs that. Just don't 'freak out' of it all comes gushing out of him at 100 MPH- sometimes it happens that way

Among our diversity are some for which this is just a sexual fetish- illogical and unexplainable but there anyway- and a great pleasure when you can live out the fantasy. Others have a more babyish desire (the AB part of this) and need to feel that way sometimes- often when other things are stressing them out. And some of us just love to wear diapers (that's me) sometimes to the point of using them as intended, sometimes only half of that, sometimes not using them at all but wearing them anyway. Sometimes the need is occasional in a person and sometimes it's an always thing. Any and every combination of these is possible. Only when you reach full self-acceptance can you really know where you're going with this. For many of us this seemed to start as a fetish but grew into something different once we gave ourself the room to let that happen.

Wherever this goes keep in mind (and make sure he knows too) that there is nothing wrong with adults wearing diapers or any other kind of underwear they wish to wear. It does no harm to anyone else and if it brings someone any kind of happiness- even temporarily- then it has to be a good thing. Enjoying the good things you find is what life is supposed to be all about It's harder for most guys to say to themselves that "I like it and that's all the reason I need" whereas girls have less of a problem with that. Guys tend to be wired logically while girls tend to be wired emotionally, and there is little logic in an adult who doesn't need them wearing diapers so help him see and accept the emotional side of this- if he likes it then you're OK with that and you're not looking for any more reason than that. Give him room to become comfortable with that and in time he will.

So there's a good start and as things make progress you can always ask more here. Maybe you even want to share our site with him if that will help him and you deal with this. Most of us don't bite and you can ignore those that do We're just another online website with a forum, same as any other- we're just a bit more thickly padded in some places than most

Bettypooh

[Rihanna]

.....Yet, you jump right into one of the most popular websites with thousands of strangers and ask us for help?.....

how do you know whether we know more about him than you do?

how did you find this place, is he a member? for how long?

Well put diaprbayb. Some of the nagging back of the mind questions I've had since I first saw the OP about 6-7 hrs after it was posted.

For the time being, I am accepting 'her' post at face value, although I am also skeptical until the questions are answered.

[Scyreth]

Ok, but here is the the strange thing. He tells you this just the other day. you all these questions. not sure what to say.

Yet, you jump right into one of the most popular websites with thousands of strangers and ask us for help?

last thing my wife wanted to happen after she found out is to let "the world know she knows"

how do you know whether we know more about him then you do?

how did you find this place, is he a member? for how long?

1. Try typing "diaper fetish" into Google. This is literally the 2nd link, right after Wikipedia.

2. It's an anonymous account, no one who knows her will know this is her. She doesn't have to worry about the world knowing.

3. She clearly stated she just wanted to know the things to ask so as not to sound ignorant or force the subject. One of the world's largest forum of ABDL individuals would actually be a great place to go for those sort of things.

4. I wish I had an account from back in the day to show you guys how long I've been here without saying anything. What I can tell you is that I found this website from that Graham Norton show that was on Comedy Central back in the day when he had an adult baby couple on the show and they mentioned this site, about 7 years ago. I also remember the red headed nurse wearing a diaper taking a peek down the back of her diaper (That used to be on the Enter screen a long time ago) was one of the hottest pictures I had ever seen. I have been members of other sites that require usernames to look at the material including abkingdom and dprtube if you really still aren't sure I am legitimate.

I just want to thank the people who weren't instantly cynical about it and helped her out, the talk went well. I have never felt the need to have an online presence on something I kept so private (she is literally the first person I have ever told, anonymous or not). The instant she told me she posted here it worried me because of some of the people here and the major differences between why people like diapers (from feminization/sissyfication, to adult babies, to just diaper lovers, I didn't want her getting the wrong idea) but the majority of you were very helpful, thanks again. To those doubters, you really didn't help (unless making me finally post after 7 years was your end goal, then touche) and I understand the cynicism, but please, try to be a bit nicer or more discreet to try to figure out a phony before calling someone out.

[luv2beSpanked]

hey Scyreth I hope it all works out and that you help SnapPea explore it more to understand it all! I bet it was a hugh relief off your chest just telling her. Don't know how she reacted but with her asking questions on the forum and to see if she got any answers from the community should tell you that she wants to know more and still wants to be part of your life. Your a lucky man! Also your welcome for the help we gave her.

[dl_ashlee]

I really have no idea why people thought it was a troll post. I just couldn't see a reason for someone making this kind of post as a troll post. I guess some of our members are just jaded, so it being somewhat of an odd question from a newb it raised the troll flag.

[curiositykilledthecat]

best idea here is to talk to your boyfriend, we cannot answer his questions for you

[rosalie.bent]

I really have no idea why people thought it was a troll post. I just couldn't see a reason for someone making this kind of post as a troll post. I guess some of our members are just jaded, so it being somewhat of an odd question from a newb it raised the troll flag.

You dont know why people thought it was a troll post? Well let me see..

1) it was an odd question for a first-timer who had joined up only minutes before

2) most newbies like that would read thru other posts to get an idea what was going on first

3) fantasy posting is a chronic problem in online fetish sites

4) it was 'supported' by another brand-new ID

So the reasons were very fair. That's not to say the post wasnt legitimate, but it looked and smelled fake.

If you've been online longer than a few days you quickly learn to develop a sixth-sense for fakers. They are everywhere and diaper sites are worse than most as fantays rules us more than many others because often, fantasy is all we have.

Anyhow... this is Michael and that is my 2 cents worth!

[Bettypooh]

Anything is possible but someone seeking ABDL info for the first time will probably do Google first- and we're always at or near the top- seems like a "duh" moment to me And as we so often see, newbies come here with questions that have been answered a hundred times over all the time. They get overwhelmed with the vast amount of threads and pop their question before spending time digging- it happens here all the time doesn't it? And while fantasy posting does happen a lot, just what kind of fantasy would you expect this post to support? Most fantasy posts ask questions more related to specifics- not questions about "how should I approach this with my hesitant BF?" mentioning nothing more sexual that 'he said it was a fetish'.

In short, what I'm seeing on this thread is a whole bunch of jaded cynical people who are incapable of helping someone new to this because they'd run the poor newbie off before they could do anything positive for them. And some of those very people think they might be good at helping people get their lives together

Be jaded. Be cynical. Be whatever you want to- I no longer give a shit about what goes on here. The few people here I still care much about can PM me and I'll drop in once in awhile- if I want to. It's too bad that nervous newbies are getting pushed away from a site that used to support and help people. Well, whatever- I got the help I needed here from back in time when this site had greatness and I've helped quite a few people in return. Yep, be cynical and bash people from the start, for that is obviously the new, better way to help others. It won't drive anyone away and if it does what did you owe them in the first place? Nothing- nobody seems to feel like they owe anyone else anything apparently- not even the benefit of doubt, no common courtesy, and not one single chance for them to seek a better understanding of ABDL. This thread reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw: "Where are we going and what is this handbasket for?"

I'm getting out of the handbasket

Bettypooh

[diaprbayb]

I really have no idea why people thought it was a troll post. I just couldn't see a reason for someone making this kind of post as a troll post. I guess some of our members are just jaded, so it being somewhat of an odd question from a newb it raised the troll flag.

There's a troll in the threads

[rosalie.bent]

Anything is possible but someone seeking ABDL info for the first time will probably do Google first- and we're always at or near the top- seems like a "duh" moment to me And as we so often see, newbies come here with questions that have been answered a hundred times over all the time. They get overwhelmed with the vast amount of threads and pop their question before spending time digging- it happens here all the time doesn't it? And while fantasy posting does happen a lot, just what kind of fantasy would you expect this post to support? Most fantasy posts ask questions more related to specifics- not questions about "how should I approach this with my hesitant BF?" mentioning nothing more sexual that 'he said it was a fetish'.

In short, what I'm seeing on this thread is a whole bunch of jaded cynical people who are incapable of helping someone new to this because they'd run the poor newbie off before they could do anything positive for them. And some of those very people think they might be good at helping people get their lives together

Be jaded. Be cynical. Be whatever you want to- I no longer give a shit about what goes on here. The few people here I still care much about can PM me and I'll drop in once in awhile- if I want to. It's too bad that nervous newbies are getting pushed away from a site that used to support and help people. Well, whatever- I got the help I needed here from back in time when this site had greatness and I've helped quite a few people in return. Yep, be cynical and bash people from the start, for that is obviously the new, better way to help others. It won't drive anyone away and if it does what did you owe them in the first place? Nothing- nobody seems to feel like they owe anyone else anything apparently- not even the benefit of doubt, no common courtesy, and not one single chance for them to seek a better understanding of ABDL. This thread reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw: "Where are we going and what is this handbasket for?"

I'm getting out of the handbasket

Bettypooh

Dont give up on us yet, bettypooh. Dont criticise us for being jaded by being jaded yourself. The vast majority are always willing to help, but that doesnt mean that we should ignore our sixth sense. Often that sense is what gives us real insight into the truth. And I speak from someone who has taken a hell of a beating from people online - including you. Having your motives initially questioned (as on here) can be annoying but ultimately we are judged on the balance of what we say and do, not just one individual comment. Or at least we should be.

[gah!ghost]

I don't think there's any harm in taking someone at their word on something like this. I only mentioned thinking it was not an authentic post because someone else did and I didn't really know why I thought that. There have been a few threads very similar to this I have read on here and I didn't have that thought when reading those.

I think maybe "trolling" isn't the best to describe this post if it is indeed not true. To me trolling in inherently malicious and something like this I can't see as being malicious. A troll would be more like someone who comes into a fetish forum to post "you're all sick" or something to that effect.

I do hope we didn't scare off the OP. That would be a shame regardless of anything.

[diaprbayb]

ok, the more I thought about it and reading the other replies this is another reason.

leke you have mentioned and others that yes this is a common question.

thats my reason, this question has been asked again and again. if someone comes here to seek answers they are already here in the other posts. why would our collective answers be any different just because they asked it?

My first reaction is basically, " here we go again, didn't somebody just ask this last week?" "why aren't reading those posts? Why are they not replying in those post? What makes so special with your BF?"