'Adult Baby Life Dynamics' And 'Ab Parents' Seminars

[DailyDi]

Then why waste your time seeking advice/stories/surveys from people if you have already set your opinions so firmly on all things ABDL?

If you really want to run seminars on Adult babies (not just the very narrow regressive AB topic) then you NEED the input of the people who are adult babies.

Many of the posts in recent threads of yours (made by others) have been unfair, but that is because you have been so forceful and rigid with people in he past that they have put their guards up.

And honestly, some of the criticism is warranted. Your book is very good for what it is (a self help book for partners) but now you are looking to host seminars and are using your book as your qualification to lead such events, but then attack anyone who questions if your book qualifies you as an expert. I know you are going to come back and say you aren't doing this at all... but you are - even if you didn't intend it that way - When the author of a book gives seminars on a topic she wrote about people believe you are an expert in that field. And when you stand up to represent a community such as the ABDL world, then of course ABDL folks are going to want to know more about the person representing them.

Not saying you shouldn't do the seminar if that's what you want... just that you should be more open to the other areas of ABDL (other than regressive AB) before you do... and that means LISTENING to folks who live that life more, and not just dismissing everyone's opinions as "close to worthless." granted, i didn't see the ADISC discussions, but it seems harsh to go around badmouthing any site's membership as a whole that way. And you've said similarly hash things about Fetlife groups in the past.

I'm just asking that you open up a little and engage our members in genuine discussions about the ABDL lifestyle, before you write us all off too.

[dljim95]

I cannot believe where this topic has gone to. I for one have bought read this book along with my wife/mommy and found it very helpful.

[curiositykilledthecat]

That's just it, her book will help some but not others, the same way some love tony robins and I find him to be a joke. IT's just different strokes for different folks.

[rosalie.bent]

Then why waste your time seeking advice/stories/surveys from people if you have already set your opinions so firmly on all things ABDL?

If you really want to run seminars on Adult babies (not just the very narrow regressive AB topic) then you NEED the input of the people who are adult babies.

Many of the posts in recent threads of yours (made by others) have been unfair, but that is because you have been so forceful and rigid with people in he past that they have put their guards up.

And honestly, some of the criticism is warranted. Your book is very good for what it is (a self help book for partners) but now you are looking to host seminars and are using your book as your qualification to lead such events, but then attack anyone who questions if your book qualifies you as an expert. I know you are going to come back and say you aren't doing this at all... but you are - even if you didn't intend it that way - When the author of a book gives seminars on a topic she wrote about people believe you are an expert in that field. And when you stand up to represent a community such as the ABDL world, then of course ABDL folks are going to want to know more about the person representing them.

Not saying you shouldn't do the seminar if that's what you want... just that you should be more open to the other areas of ABDL (other than regressive AB) before you do... and that means LISTENING to folks who live that life more, and not just dismissing everyone's opinions as "close to worthless." granted, i didn't see the ADISC discussions, but it seems harsh to go around badmouthing any site's membership as a whole that way. And you've said similarly hash things about Fetlife groups in the past.

I'm just asking that you open up a little and engage our members in genuine discussions about the ABDL lifestyle, before you write us all off too.

Actually, I havent set my opinions in concrete at all. When I came here initially I only had the experience of one sissy AB to work from and expanded that knowledge and experience significantly mainly with the help of people here. But at the same time, I also started to come in contact with a whole host of other ABDLs - the ones that dont inhabit social media sites like DD and Fetlife and it may surprise you to find that their opinions and experiences in many ways are very different from what i read on here. So perhaps when I express an opinion that you and others dont like then perhaps it is an opinion held by a lot of other people but not expressed on here. Sometimes it can feel quite odd and offputting to hear diametrically opposed viewpoints from DD posters and non-DD emailers. if there is one thing I think some people on here could learn is that their opinions may not be the majority opinion.

this issue about 'qualification as an expert' is a vexed one which I have been criticised over several times. But I keep asking 'who are the experts?'. the reality of this AB world of ours is that there is no one that truly qualifies as much of an expert at all, certainly in the academic sense of the word. In truth the nearest we have are people seeking to understand as much as they can and adding to the body of truth regarding it. That is as much as there is.

Listening to people who 'live the life' as you say is one thing but I wish to repeat that since writing the book I now get quite a lot of people who are AB whose lives do not mirror what is expressed on here very much at all. Im beginning to wonder if the vast majority of ABs are hidden, quiet, living in their relationships and families, working every day and suffering constantly from the regressive pressures they feel. Theses are the people I actually want to target because I genuinely beleive these are the people in greatest need. In many ways some of the arguments on these threads are utterly irrelevant to the average AB. Dressing in public as an AB is a minor issue since they cannot even dress in their own bedroom.

The large survey that Michael and I are now developing needs to be spread about as far and as wide as we can make it and certianly far more than DD and Fetlife or similar. There are a LOT of ABs who have expressed to me that they dont post on places like this because they feel utterly alien to the culture. That is not a criticism of DD but rather an statement that the AB world is much bigger and far more diverse than many of you think it is. It feels a little odd to be honest to be seeing two utterly diametric viewpoints on AB issues.

I know I can be argumentative. That is my style and it is unlikely to change. I have a low tolerance for silly behaviour and I can be most ascerbic about criticisms of my book (or anyone elses for that matter - you should have seen my spirited defence of harry potter) by people who havent read it. Passionate people behave like that and I am very passionate about improving the lives of ABs and helping them to understand more about it.

Oh and about ADISC... as a fellow site operator you may feel bound to say nice things about them. But I think you will find that most adult ABs find it a very poor place and since most of us have been banned for 'lying about our age!' we have wiped it off as worthless. DD is far far better than that. Oh and I think the death threat via email from a member there probably put me off some too!

Anyhow... Have a great day and DailyDi... give some consideration to helping me out with the large survey.

[rosalie.bent]

That's just it, her book will help some but not others, the same way some love tony robins and I find him to be a joke. IT's just different strokes for different folks.

I think part of the problem is that I identify a big difference between diaper fetishists, regressive adult babies and roleplayers (age players). Other people have hinted at it and some academic studies have likewise recognised something of that nature but I drew a great big defining line around each of them. they are all separate and very different behaviours with a diaper being the only common element. That is not to say that a diaper fetishist cannot be a regressive AB. There is certainly a significant number of people who are both AB and DL. But the main thing is that there are three quite separate behviours and their needs and etiology are very very different.

I am trying to work on this hypothesis more at the moment and want to do a larger survey to try and quantify some of the overlaps in particular.

But yes, my book was for regressive ABs with partners which is after all just a small subset of the community.

[BriGuy]

Regressive ab's are a larger community than you may think. I am a diaper fetishist as well as a regressive ab. My regression is absolutely needed for my mental well being.

I think the lines may be a bit more muddy than you may believe. Sometimes I absolutely sexualize my fetish, and then there are other times when I regress that there is absolutely no sexual drive at all.

I also believe that it is important to listen to those on this board and those on fetlife because they are absolutely a working portion of the Abdl community.

The majority who communicate from the shadows do not represent the majority.

There is a large group of Abdls coming up who are younger and more in tune with who they are. As a result they are less afraid to express themselves so they are more open with their fetish. .

My experience with the individual's in the email groups are that they are of an older demographic who didn't have the technology available to them early enough to show they are ok with having this fetish. As a result they are more "closeted" and less ok with being out and about. The world is much less conservative today than it was 15 years ago! Dig back further and things have loosened up a considerable amount within the past 50 years.

Age, technology, and access to theninternet play a huge role in ones ability to cope with being "different".

[rosalie.bent]

Regressive ab's are a larger community than you may think. I am a diaper fetishist as well as a regressive ab. My regression is absolutely needed for my mental well being.

I think the lines may be a bit more muddy than you may believe. Sometimes I absolutely sexualize my fetish, and then there are other times when I regress that there is absolutely no sexual drive at all.

I also believe that it is important to listen to those on this board and those on fetlife because they are absolutely a working portion of the Abdl community.

The majority who communicate from the shadows do not represent the majority.

There is a large group of Abdls coming up who are younger and more in tune with who they are. As a result they are less afraid to express themselves so they are more open with their fetish. .

My experience with the individual's in the email groups are that they are of an older demographic who didn't have the technology available to them early enough to show they are ok with having this fetish. As a result they are more "closeted" and less ok with being out and about. The world is much less conservative today than it was 15 years ago! Dig back further and things have loosened up a considerable amount within the past 50 years.

Age, technology, and access to theninternet play a huge role in ones ability to cope with being "different".

Oh, I agree that regressives may be a MUCH larger group than we imagine. Whilst hardly scientific, the people who respond to my surveys are always far more likely to be regressives than age players. Of course that has a lot of self-selection bias so it isn’t quantifiable, but it is still of significant note.

The mix between regressive AB and DL is indeed very unclear and is certainly something I wish to examine. I read at times of people who are purely non-sexual ABs and also those who are purely diaper fetishist but the majority combine the two in varying degrees and that is certainly something I would like to study in more detail.

I don’t think I would agree with your comments on those that communicate from the shadows. I think that oversimplifies it. I know from a number of comments made to me that ABs have registered on fetlife and DD but have not participated as they feel overwhelmed and at times also feel as if the views and lifestyles being expressed are nothing like them. In essence I think that the entire community of AB/DLs is not necessarily typified by the online communities. Once again, I cannot quantify this but am seeing increasing disparity between the people who contact me and the views I read on DD and FetLife. I don’t think you can dismiss the views of the silent majority all that easily as perhaps THEY represent the true situation and DD posters are atypical. I simply do not know and what I really, really want to do is to somehow ascertain that. The way I am trying to do that is to get a survey set up that attempts to engage EVERYONE – not just the social media sites. My initial thoughts are to try and engage AB suppliers in promoting such a survey. Even the silent majority still buys AB supplies. I would appreciate any thoughts you have on expanding the surveys reach. However, so far the suppliers haven’t even responded to this request- never-mind agreed to it. I am hopeful however of engaging them just the same.

I would agree that younger ABs have a better chance of knowing about themselves than did the pre-internet generation who probably thought they were alone in the world. However, it seems that the core needs and behaviours remain pretty consistent which is in keeping with most researchers findings that fetishes etc cannot be ‘taught’ but simply evolve or appear in young children or around puberty. Some of the blatant ageist comments by some younger ABs is not only discriminatory but also quite wrong. IN my research I have not noticed any statistically valid differences in core behaviours between teen babies, young adult babies and older ABs. Younger ones might be more willing to share it with others on line with the current Facebook trending of living your entire life online and in view of the rest of the world. But the core behaviours they engage in are still very much the same as everyone else. It is only on the periphery does it change and that is solely in the interface between the adult world and the baby world. The baby world itself remains consistent over the generations. Take a look at the sissy baby outfits for example. Most of them are designed to address the needs and wants of ABs of all generations and are usually not even close to what real baby girls wear anymore. They are more in keeping stylistically with the 50s and 60s styles. Yet sissies of all ages wear them.

When it comes to dealing with the sometimes very strong regressive needs, knowledge is often a very poor substitute for meeting the basic needs. I have identified that the two basic needs of regressive ABs are to be genuinely identified and accepted as legitimate babies or toddlers (ie not role players) and also to have a relationship that mirrors the parent/child one to some degree. I have seen it work well in others but also in my own baby who when he found these two needs met, changed overnight. He has stated that he has never felt truly accepted or safe and secure – even within the confines of a great marriage and family – until I accepted his intrinsic nature of being partly baby girl and took on the part-time role of being his mother. It seems simplistic to describe the basic needs as two simple ones, but it does seem to fit quite well.

Do you have any thoughts or suggestions on expanding the pool of knowledge on these topics and for getting the survey out to others?

[aleyxsis]

Hi it's me again sorry to interupt .My question to the panel is me being a crossdresser (besides my sissy side and ab) .When im dressed as an adult women i really have no interest in wearing panties i always have a diaper or a womens pullup on .Is this normal ? .

[BriGuy]

Nope. We're all completely abnormal! ;-)

[rosalie.bent]

Hi it's me again sorry to interupt .My question to the panel is me being a crossdresser (besides my sissy side and ab) .When im dressed as an adult women i really have no interest in wearing panties i always have a diaper or a womens pullup on .Is this normal ? .

What's not normal about it? You are a crossdressing AB diaper fetishist sissy... I dont think 'normal' even enters into the description

Seriously tho, I hate the term 'normal'. It is so irrelvent because almost everyone has their kinks and 'abnormalities'. We know who the normal ones are. they are the stultifyingly boring people with no noticeable interests.

Defining 'abnormal' is a bit like the difference between erotica and pornography. No one can define it but they know the difference when they see it.

[sarah_ab]

I consider myself incredibly normal... hehehehehe.. in my own little world that is!

[aleyxsis]

thankfully im normal at least in this community and not normal in the rest of the world becuase the way it ;s going i want no freakin part of it !!

Life is weird live it !!

[rosalie.bent]

'Normal' is so subjective. Im beginning to double that 'normal' even truly exists as a singular objective standard!

[curiositykilledthecat]

http://dictionary.re...m/browse/normal

Normal is a cocnept, not an actualality. In other words, there is no such thing as normal.

In psychology normal means average, who the hell wants to be average? I enjoy being different, it makes life interesting.

[rosalie.bent]

over 100 years ago Freud stated that behaviour (including fetish behaviour) was a CONTINUUM and had a wide variation within the rane of acceptable behaviour. Subsequently, lesser minds determined the opposite, that normal behaviour was a very narrow band and outside that was abnormality demanding treatment. That is changing (finally) but there are still far too many for whom 'normal' is a narrow range of options. ABDL is a very complex behaviour which is right 'out there' so it will be a long time before it becomes acceptable to society.

[aleyxsis]

My abnormality has a wide changinging way of acceppting being normal so i acceppt my abnormality as being normal .As long as im happy with it so there be it ! .I will keep it as a secret and be be normal in my world screw the rest !I say this in jest because they will not get it !

[sarah_ab]

at work i often read about irregularly irregular heart beats .... which means essentially a normal rhythm....

i tend to think or myself as abnormally abnormal.....

and also as abnormally well adjusted.....

course i also believe anyone who doesnt agree with me must be joking

[curiositykilledthecat]

lol. I also love how the two words "extra" meaning more and "ordinary"- meaning plain or average come to together to form a word that means above average or exceptional. How does that work?

[aleyxsis]

well average and above average which means im better than average so what is average am i better am i great or just average .Im normal im ma lil world just ask me lol (is that above average ? )

[rosalie.bent]

lol. I also love how the two words "extra" meaning more and "ordinary"- meaning plain or average come to together to form a word that means above average or exceptional. How does that work?

Actually, in this context 'extra' means 'above'. Of course expecting English to be logical and obey rules consistently, is silly !! LOL

[rosalie.bent]

at work i often read about irregularly irregular heart beats .... which means essentially a normal rhythm....

i tend to think or myself as abnormally abnormal.....

and also as abnormally well adjusted.....

course i also believe anyone who doesnt agree with me must be joking

"Normal is what everyone else is and you are not."

(unknown)