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I use a wheelchair due to my Cerebral Palsy and I'm almost completely dependent on help for toileting needs and will sometimes have accidents due to to being able to get to the bathroom fast enough or waiting to long to go. Its really embarrassing to have messy/damp pants all the time. I feel like diapers are a good way to manage the situation. I'm going to the doctor in a few weeks so I can ask him about it. I'm sure he'll agree that theirs nothing wrong with a little protection. My problem is this, How do I tell my family thats how I'm going to manage the situation and cope with the embarrassment of them changing me and my family and friends knowing about my diapers?

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I don't think your family will have a problem with the fact that you want to wear diaper, if you explain your reasons for it like you have here.

However they might not be so keen on changing you, but that just something you should just discuss with them and try to find the best solutions for all of you.

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I think using a pull on style would give you "just in case" protection and not seem to family and friends so much like a diaper. A pullup may be something you could mostly manage yourself. I would recommend wearing two of them when starting the day. If the first one gets used when you are out, you may be able to manage tearing or cutting it off and then simply pull up the remaining one. Even if you need assistance, starting with protection that looks and is put on like regular underwear should be a much easier sell than tape on diapers. If you are genuinely needing this, they will remember a number of incidents while you live(d) with them, that demonstrate why they are necessary. If you need more protection than that, It will be much easier to convince others after you have tried this first. It also will allow you to use the bathroom when you can.

Years ago before there were good disposable incontinence products, I was in college with someone with Cerebral Palsy severe enough to need a wheel chair to get between classes. He used a strap on catheter without a leg bag but having a cap so it would hold a few ounces of urine. It was just enough to buy him a few seconds before he could regain control and that worked for him. If you are in a wheelchair most of the time, a strap on catheter with a leg bag is used successfully by many people. I need to confess that others on this board are far better qualified to give advice. So, your money cheerfully refunded if not completely satisfied (with the advice).

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Unfortunately I would need assistance with pull ups too. I don't care if their diapers or not I'm just tired of dealing with messy accidents. I wouldn't nesecairly use then all the time just when I knew getting to a toilet was difficult or like today when ive had upset stomach and several messy accidents. I know I can justify it but how do I bring it up?

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I wouldn't be surprised if whoever helps you clean up after the accidents would like to suggest that you wear a diaper, but is reluctant to bring the subject up because they are concerned about how you would react to the suggestion.

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I agree with Craisler. Txabdl, You appear to be proposing a very practical solution to a difficult problem. Looks to me like diapers, at least on the worst days, would make life easier for everybody involved. Since you would be the one wearing the diapers, or living with the results of not wearing diapers, it looks to me like it is really your call. I would explain that it is easier and more convenient for everyone and that you would rather not suffer the embarassment and consequences of not wearing. Your doctor is a great first contact because a prescription may help get them paid for by a medical plan. I imagine that diapers would also be safer for your skin (by absorbing/containing any mess) and keeping your skin healthy requires constant vigilance for anyone who spends considerable time in a chair. Nothing will change unless you take the iniative to make it happen. Go for it!

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Though I haven't had to use it, my explanation is simple- "I can usually hold on till I can get to a toilet but sometimes the best I can do is seconds, not minutes. And I can't always tell when it's going to hit me so I have to be ready for anything. My protection has saved me embarrassment many times so I think it's a good decision, don't you?"

Perhaps they will still think it weird but it's not their choice or their life and really, they pretty much have to admit it is a good solution. A brief may make a better answer for you than a pull-up, many are refastenable once and some use velcro closures for repeated fastenings. If wearing some protection is going to improve your quality of life don't be afraid to choose that option. You have more experience dealing with this than they do so compared to them you are the expert- make the best choice for you based on that ;)

Bettypooh

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The situation you're describing, I'd be willing to bet good money that your caretakers haven't proposed this to you because they're concerned about you reacting negatively to what is very much a practical solution to the problem.

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The simple fact is, it's a lot easier for someone to change a wet or messy diaper than it is to change someone's pull on underpants and trousers. I think any caregiver would rather deal with a diaper than having to help you change your underpants and outer pants whenever you have an accident

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And there is also the issue of the incontinent persons preferences,personal dignity and feeling of wellbeing. Diapers are far more comfortable when wet than underpants are and less likely to chafe. Holding on is great but not always effective. Better to be safe than sorry and (for me anyway) wearing a diaper is more pleasant than having messed or wet underwear.

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