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Ts Stopping Being Ab Through Pressure From Therapist And "Scene"


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Hi,

Why do so many transgender babygirls (officially) discontinue being a baby girl. Are they afraid of not getting their referral letter for SRS?

Or is it stragey not to mention any childhood traumata in order get smoother through the therapist´s assessment?

Are are they shunned in vanilla transgender support groups when their ab status is known?

It really is a shame that ab is only lived covertly. That way therapists will never get to know the phenomenom of the trans babygirl.

I feel left alone.

Kvetinka

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You know you are not alone :)

Here in the US many TS's doing therapy to get that all-important letter already have TS friends who guide them through the process. You learn to approach it like a school test- learn the answers in enough detail to convince them to give you a passing grade. You learn what to say and what not to say. Most importantly you learn who to go to and who not to go to. Few TS's go into this blind these days because the internet gets them into the community where those things are found. And really, few of us tell the therapist everything.

I had to go into the details of my childhood- this after I had already told of my past drug use which really messed up my memory. My childhood pants and bed wetting was spoken of but other than things that were directly related to that we went no deeper. I was never asked about diapers so I didn't volunteer to go there. I took that same approach with many other things which I did not feel were a problem. If asked I always told the truth even when it hurt. Part of therapy is to make sure you're mentally able to make the change to another life, and part is to make sure you really need those changes. Don't play games with he first part- you really need to know that you'll be able to see it through because you can't go back. The second part you already know so it just becomes a thing where you have to convince them of that.

Sadly there are few good Therapists among the many, and that hurts everyone. Things like ABDL which could use some more exploration do not get that research because of the bad Therapists who have their own unaddressed problems. I had one of the best Therapists ever, and if I had the time and money I'd like to get back with her to do some of that exploring but life won't allow me to do that so I have decided to just hand on to what I've got and when my life allows it, to first make the transition I need, and then to see what I can do after that to fix the system. It's kind of selfish but at this point I don't have the time to approach it any other way. I am one of the lucky ones even though it kills me daily to have to wait, but I know that waiting is what is best for me because even though I am ready, my past life must be settled before I go forward or it will really hurt me afterward. I can't survuve that but I can survive this so far, Fate is a nasty bugger which hasn't given me the fair channce to go forward yet- maybe someday it will. I work towards that day, and even though I canot make progress in that effort I will not stop trying. Maybe someday life will grant me my dream to be me and give me the chance to set the world on a better path.

Bettypooh

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You know you are not alone :)

Here in the US many TS's doing therapy to get that all-important letter already have TS friends who guide them through the process. You learn to approach it like a school test- learn the answers in enough detail to convince them to give you a passing grade. You learn what to say and what not to say. Most importantly you learn who to go to and who not to go to. Few TS's go into this blind these days because the internet gets them into the community where those things are found. And really, few of us tell the therapist everything.

Actually, I split therapy in two parts. Now I deal the real issues without the hindrance to get indications, etc. Not everything in life can be broken down into a gender conflict. Now I could confess everything freely. Now I have plenty of time for treating ADS and childhood traumata. Now I can freely speak about breast growth before HRT and hormonal deficiency without risking time consuming and expensive intersex differential diagnostic process.

I can indulge in AB/DL fora without risking to bring a snoopy therapist on my track.

I hope that more will join me telling the trans community about the existance of trans babygirls and the AB/DL community about trans after they have reached their final destination and can testify freely.

Kvetinka, always having been half a woman

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Psychiatrists, therapists, any of the mind docs really, have no clue about transgendered people, none at all. Which is where the fear comes from most of the time. If they don't understand anything about what you are suppose to see them for, how can you expect them to know anything about something that's even more unique and less understood? I have a personal vendetta to get all psych doctors removed from practicing medicine. The reliance on their "wisdom" is too dangerous these days, and because of them diagnosing any behavior that is unique as insane, even the safe behaviors.

So yeah, there is a problem there, and they are indirectly connected. You'd think that in such an age as we are in today, people would just stop judging, but they don't. People still think there is a "normal" for everything, and many hold to it even if their idea of "normal" is just plain wrong.

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The reliance on their "wisdom" is too dangerous these days, and because of them diagnosing any behavior that is unique as insane, even the safe behaviors.

The trans psychiatrists were the weirdest doctors I encountered. The psychologist next door is much more tolerant. She sees my AB partly related to my childhood traumata, while the trans psychiatrist considered it an insane fetish.

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The trans psychiatrists were the weirdest doctors I encountered. The psychologist next door is much more tolerant. She sees my AB partly related to my childhood traumata, while the trans psychiatrist considered it an insane fetish.

This is sort of what I'm talking about, the ones that seem to be the best to see are not considered qualified for it. I'd wager because they accept that they just don't get it, they tend to be more understanding. It's aggravating to the patient too.

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  • 1 month later...

Slight off topic but I would give anything to be a girl... Just not brave enough to come out :( Plus my family are kinda homophobic >o> So the whole transgender thing would be a joke to them...

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^ I am somewhat in the same boat with you. Sometimes I swear that I have a girl in my head, I know exactly what she (Andromeda) looks like. 7 feet tall long curly mid back length blonde hair, bue eyes, big butt and big breasts. I am not sure how to explain this, there are many times that I feel like I am a host body to her. I tried to explain this once to my parents, I was sent to a councilor. Like my parents, I also share Christian values. My interpretation differs. I believe it is possible for someone to be born in the wrong body and transgender. Our world is a fallen one, body chemistry and the natural order of things get screwed up a bit. Add the pollution from pharmaceuticals and industrial processes leaching into the water, the soil, getting expressed into our food supply and things REALLY get screwed up. Yes, I have some body envy issues. I will see an attractive girl and want to trade bodies with her, but I don't think I would actually transgender, it is more of a fantasy for me. Sometimes that fantasy get out of control.

I know for a fact that a super majority of my friends and family would not accept me transitioning into Andromeda. I enjoy activities that "seem feminine" to me. I love cooking, walking in the rain, not having to act mascuiine, wearing pink, sleeping and waling around my appt naked, wearing nylon/spandex bikini style underwear, and doing things that feel girly to me. I feel different from most men, more sensitive, more "evolved." I cannot stand Marlboro men in any sense. The only reason that I am straight is because Andromeda likes girls. Is it really worth transitioning when over 90% of your friends and family would not accept it and even worse believe that you have betrayed everything you believe in. Especially since I have an outlet to express my feminine feelings, I do not believe that transitioning is neccessary or even wise. I could not bear the emotional seperation from my friends and family would cause. I honestly believe that our society has been plagued by a rampant individualism that makes a human an island unto theirselves. Do whatever you want, whatever makes you happy, and do it at any price. (I am speaking of things that are legal) Does anyone else feel that any price can be too high. I believe there is truth in the concept that if something is pleasurable to the individual, yet causes division within the family, and to a greater extent the community. The division that this causes can make that action wrong. This would mean that individuals are right to pursue their own happiness to the extent that such action does not create division. It would seem that Western society has rejected the concept that harmony, within the family, within the community limits, by virtue the total right actions that the individual can make.

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I am trans, and fully transitioned. At no time did I let my therapist know about my AB/DL side. I feel like the AB side is private and somewhat sexual, and has nothing to do with my transition. I never neglected my AB side either :)

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Wow you're just like me, although I and non of my family are christians. I have come out with it to a few of my close friends but that's about it, strangely enough they still talk to me lol but 1 or 2 have almost stopped talking to me completely. My ex told me it was obvious out of the way I acted, walked and spoke o.0 (I act girly amd have a girly walk) Not to mention my younger sister found my girly clothes one day when raiding my drawers, now she keeps telling me she "knows my secret" which I deny to her >_>

But yeah, if I ever see a pretty girl on the street, I would fantasize about trading bodies with her and imagine what clothes would look good on her, I also have a large interest in thongs, I've worn them before but it's just not working with what's down there:( Although I wear pretty much anything else girly when I'm home alone. I also lay in bed at night, wondering if things would of been alot easier if I underwent trans when I first started highschool, since I wouldn't know anyone and would have nothing to lose. And even as much as I'd like to, I'm scared to go trans because there's already 1 kid that lives near me and he gets picked on all the time, people pick on him and talk behind his back, he can't even step out of his house without someone posting it on facebook to get a few likes out of it. I hate the world we live in today:/ It's full of mindless, arrogant and selfish people. And even saying that I keep telling myself I'll go for a sex change when I really feel ready. :)

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^Find some activities you find to be feminine and indulge in them. I mentioned that I have several outs, find some of your own. :) Saturday there is a 60 percent chance of rain, downgraded from 70%. Andromeda is going to get caught in the rain and get completely soaked!

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I never discussed DL/AB with any therapist or psychiatrist when I transitioned. I can't see why anyone would want to do that. It can't make transition any easier and has a very real possibility of making it more difficult if not impossible. I saw proffessionals because it's required to get treatment for GID. It's not required for me to get permission to engage in diaper related activities so why would I bring it up.

I transitioned decades ago and bringing AB related activities into transition discussion with a therapist makes me wonder if you really want to transition. Sometimes the idea is appealing on some level but subconsiously you may not be ready to commit. Bringing up something like this could be a good way to sabotage yourself without you having to accept responsibility.

As for transgender organizations I would not recomend bringing this up either. You wouldn't go to the rod and gun club and expect people to be willing to discuss your needlepoint hobby would you? I know this isn't right but I think you would lose the respect of others in the organization if you came out as AB.

Kvetinka, There is no one size fits all in this world and it seems bringing this up with your therapist had good results so it was right for you. I do think that you are probably a very small minority though and if you encourage others to follow what you did they will not have the same results. I can't talk for anyone else but transition was my highest priority and I would not take any risk of having it derailed.

Hugs,

Freta

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  • 2 weeks later...

Soapy & I are both remaining babygirls, despite our transition. My therapist knows, and she doesn't consider it harmful ~ nor would any therapist find a simple paraphilia to be. In-fact, in both our cases it's helped immeasurably in presenting ourselves as girls.

  • Like 2
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As for transgender organizations I would not recomend bringing this up either. You wouldn't go to the rod and gun club and expect people to be willing to discuss your needlepoint hobby would you? I know this isn't right but I think you would lose the respect of others in the organization if you came out as AB.

Mentioning AB as a minor detail prevents being blackmailed by other members of the group. If everybody knows it is not a special deal anymore.

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Soapy & I are both remaining babygirls, despite our transition. My therapist knows, and she doesn't consider it harmful ~ nor would any therapist find a simple paraphilia to be. In-fact, in both our cases it's helped immeasurably in presenting ourselves as girls.

I am glad that the opinon of the therapists are changing thanks to more public TV expsure.

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My therapist doesn't own a TV.. she just knows how to do her job XD

Also; as an aside about being afraid of not getting a referral letter... not every transgirl wants surgery. I don't. I know others who either don't, or just don't care. Presuming that to be a reason at all is totes lame.

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I can't stand mental doctors and believe they should all be shot. ... I know, "holding a grudge too long is unhealthy" and "don't prejudge them based on a few" ... it's hard not to when I am constantly struggling with thoughts of suicide because of what those few did to me in the name of "medicine" that is more preaching than actual medicine. I can honestly say, if I saw an opportunity and knew I would not be caught, I'd kill them.

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I can't stand mental doctors and believe they should all be shot. ... I know, "holding a grudge too long is unhealthy" and "don't prejudge them based on a few" ... it's hard not to when I am constantly struggling with thoughts of suicide because of what those few did to me in the name of "medicine" that is more preaching than actual medicine. I can honestly say, if I saw an opportunity and knew I would not be caught, I'd kill them.

I'm acutely aware this isn't the first time I've said something similar to you, nor am I denying you're justified to a point, but that's a horrible mentality to have. I agree with you insofar as professional help shouldn't be put on a pedestal as it often is (it's not this 'magic walk in once a week for 8 weeks and come out perfect' building many seem to believe it is), but just because you've had bad experiences, bad as they may be, doesn't mean it should be done away with.

Yes, there are ineffective shrinks out there, but there are many people who have benefitted. My previous counsellor is one of the main reasons I'm on the slow road to recovery and self-improvement that I am on. Reason the headway is slow is because when all is said and done, the onus is on me. My current one in group sessions...less so. She doesn't seem to understand that some people have thought processes other than hers. I share that thought process to an extent so I'm lucky but it's pretty damn clear that someone else in the group just can't resonate with this sort of thing, and the counsellor's trying to project tripe onto her. I want to punch them in the throat sometimes.

A dear friend of mine told me that through her three counsellors, one has been very helpful, another somewhat helpful, and another absolutely dismal. Yet at no point did she think to the extremes you do.

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