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For years I have loved being a sissy AB ......all the frillies and the nappies.......but I was in control I could say when.....and I could decide when and where I would wear and what.

Over the last few months things have changed.......my anti depression medication has caused other problems the biggest being BPH........I go from retention to overflow incontinence......I am being told that I must now be catherised and will need to proform SIC 4 times a day and wear nappies at night...............I am scared .......and I never wanted it to be full time.....play time is over..........I have no more control over it...........it will now control me.

I am not looking for self pity............only to say be careful what you wish for..........and having to catherise myself 4 times a day scares me totally..........can anyone give me reassurance and advice

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Ill just leave you with this little thing I thought up the other day, "Many people are born and have to wear diapers that dont want to, others are born that dont need diapers and want, a lucky few are born needing them and want to wear them."

That, and find out if, instead using a cathader, if you can just wear a diaper instead.

Collin

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For years I have loved being a sissy AB ......all the frillies and the nappies.......but I was in control I could say when.....and I could decide when and where I would wear and what.

Over the last few months things have changed.......my anti depression medication has caused other problems the biggest being BPH........I go from retention to overflow incontinence......I am being told that I must now be catherised and will need to proform SIC 4 times a day and wear nappies at night...............I am scared .......and I never wanted it to be full time.....play time is over..........I have no more control over it...........it will now control me.

I am not looking for self pity............only to say be careful what you wish for..........and having to catherise myself 4 times a day scares me totally..........can anyone give me reassurance and advice

Omg!! I know how you fell..While mine is kinda diffrent... but almost the same..I did wet my pants alot as a kid. but at the same time i loved wearing diapers felt safe and happy..Then about 16 highschool age was not wetting but loved to wear in secret .. I never thought 4yrs later i would be incontinence...I had a long...long labor and ended up on having a c-section after 17hours of laybor 3hours of pushing...My bladder has never been the same now I wear 24/7..Was so embarased..But at first i liked it then it got old and old..Too much of a good thing is bad...I wanted to make the choice not to have to wear..It did change my life..But i promice you you will be able to move on..I'm here for you if you need to chat..I'm sorry to hear that..

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I understand what you are saying. I was a DL for years, and never thought I would become incontinent. But about 4 years ago, I suffered a back injury, and have had no bladder, and little bowel control ever since. I would say that you should ask your doctor about the absolute need to Cath. Most will tell you that you should cath if you are retaining fluid, to avoid bladder infections. If you are not retaining that much though, you may be ok. I would also tell you, don't let incontinence control your life. It is a hard decision to make, and it takes inner strength. Remember you are not alone, there are millions of people who are incontinent, and most of us lead full and normal lives. I go by the philosophy " so you are incontinent, big deal, tape on a diaper and get on with your life". I don't let incontinence slow me down, or stop me. I do whatever I want to do, and have never had anybody notice, that I know of. People are too wrapped up in their own lives to look at what you might be wearing under your pants. If you need to talk, drop me a line.

Iowaincon

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What makes us the apex species on the planet is our ability to adapt. I was born incontinent and have worn diapers my whole life. Five years ago, I had my bladder enlarged to cure renal reflux that killed one kidney and threatened the other. I've had to cath 4-5 times a day since. No biggee... you get weird looks in restrooms sometimes, sometimes it's a pain and sometimes I wet when I forget or haven't cathed in a few hours. God wouldn't throw anything at ya unless He knew you could handle it. You're also allowed to feel sorry for yourself, get mad, pout, etc... as long as it doesn't last for more than 5-10 minutes!

Mo

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[cath if you are retaining fluid]

is done to prevent it from backing up in to the kiddneys not bladder infection

having to wear for really is really diffrent from play speical if you are a double incontance both bowel and bladder makes life a lot harder

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I understand what you are saying. I was a DL for years, and never thought I would become incontinent. But about 4 years ago, I suffered a back injury, and have had no bladder, and little bowel control ever since. I would say that you should ask your doctor about the absolute need to Cath. Most will tell you that you should cath if you are retaining fluid, to avoid bladder infections. If you are not retaining that much though, you may be ok. I would also tell you, don't let incontinence control your life. It is a hard decision to make, and it takes inner strength. Remember you are not alone, there are millions of people who are incontinent, and most of us lead full and normal lives. I go by the philosophy " so you are incontinent, big deal, tape on a diaper and get on with your life". I don't let incontinence slow me down, or stop me. I do whatever I want to do, and have never had anybody notice, that I know of. People are too wrapped up in their own lives to look at what you might be wearing under your pants. If you need to talk, drop me a line.

Iowaincon

If you need to cath because of urine retention, you really must make it a good routine, to prevent any kidney damages, especially if you also have problems with infections. Also urine retention can deform your bladder if you wait too long damages that does not go get better again. this ofcourse is mainly a problem if you have no sensation how full your bladder is. If you still have normal sensation, you will probably know when to empty.

Lots of people with various kinds of physical disorders or nervedamage cath evryday, many as often as evry 4 hours and even then have incontinence issues. I would say you will learn to cope with it, even though it feels har now, and in your case, you maybe evcen have a good outlook that the day you stop the meds, you may be going back to be as you were before - atleast I think so, I have not heard that those types of medicine leaves permanent damages in that way.

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Guest diamondback688

when i first started wearing diapers i was 12 or 13...when i was 14 i was in a car accident that damaged some nerves in my bladder...the doc gave me a choice of either a cath or diapers...i chose diapers because it was easier to live with...trust me...ull get over it eventually...

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Firstly I genuinely want to thank every body for their help, support and replies.

Next I would just Like to up date the situation......I have been to the hospital and the nurse lied .......it hurt......a lot!!!

However, she was kind and understanding and we are trying other caths.........she was sympathetic with my concerns and fears of previous experiances....I was also impressed that my medical file had all such facts and concerns written down.

So with all the support ....I will try........and keep it into perspective.

Thanks

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  • 4 weeks later...

Have you asked if you go off the antidepression meds will the situation reverse itself?

Maybe its time to work on alternatives medically treating your depression. Have you tried physical exercise, change of diet, hobbies, fun activities, prayer, meditation, and positve affirmation?

For years I have loved being a sissy AB ......all the frillies and the nappies.......but I was in control I could say when.....and I could decide when and where I would wear and what.

Over the last few months things have changed.......my anti depression medication has caused other problems the biggest being BPH........I go from retention to overflow incontinence......I am being told that I must now be catherised and will need to proform SIC 4 times a day and wear nappies at night...............I am scared .......and I never wanted it to be full time.....play time is over..........I have no more control over it...........it will now control me.

I am not looking for self pity............only to say be careful what you wish for..........and having to catherise myself 4 times a day scares me totally..........can anyone give me reassurance and advice

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[Have you asked if you go off the antidepression meds will the situation reverse itself?

Maybe its time to work on alternatives medically treating your depression. Have you tried physical exercise, change of diet, hobbies, fun activities, prayer, meditation, and positve affirmation?]

Good question.......one the professionals are still trying to answer.

It would appear however that I do need some form of medication to keep me on the straight and narrow by providing a balanced chemical level in my head so to speak.

But you are quite right about alternative activities......since my depression became worse when i gave up very competitive sport.....obviously I had no outlet for the stress and rage by letting off steam.

I have taken up a hobby ...one that I have always wanted to do as from a child but could never afford it...however it is a hobby and not a sport so I dont get the same level of relief.

I am desparately trying to be positive about life and stop going into self destruct mode by attacking myself with negative thoughts but its not easy when you have had a life time of practice!!!

Its been over a month now that I have had to self cath....adn despite a few problems things have gone alot better than I thought they might have. Although the safe feelings and need for comfort that I soought in wearing nappies has turned into matter of fact....like I said in the begining be careful for what you wish for.

So was a sissy.....used nappies and baby dresses as a safe place to hide...now use nappies for night time protection...and dont dress up any more.....still love chatting to ABs ...but the fantasy has gone.....dont know if I would have visited here if I was just incon in the first place...but that is another discussion all together!!!

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Well I have worn diapers for many years since 12. There was a couple periods that I went a year or two without wearing them...basically I was tormented by the diaper demon. Apprx. 20 years ago I became OK with me wearing diapers so from that time on I always had a bag of diapers in my closet. Well Jan. 05 I had a routine operation done to correct an abdominal hernia (4th one in 12 years) things didn't go well...so much for the term ROUTINE. I was in the hospital almost a week...too lengthy to write. But as they were getting me together on the operating table they needed to put a catheter in. Well they couldn't do it through my urethra due to scar tissue build-up (I had a kidney problem several years back and I presume that Dr. injured me doing all the tests back then...that's just my feeling cuz I never had anyone put anything in my peepee!). So this Dr. doing my hernia operation was baffled, he summonsed the Urologist to attempt to put a catheter in me but no luck with him either. I had to have a supra pubic catheter inserted, that means it went through my belly into my bladder. It was in there for 3 months:( Was that a pain)...I became a recluse because I didn't want to carry my bag around in public. Then when it was removed my Urologist had to do something to correct my urinary retention problem due to the scar tissue build-up. Surgery isn't the best option because it is in the immediate area right by the urethral sphincter so if he would burn that I'd be incontinent forever most likely because he said that the on/off switch, the urethral sphincter will get damaged no matter how careful he is. The Urologist initially sought for me to self cathederize everyday. I tried but I just could not do it, so what I must endure monthly is "dilation" treatments also known as stretching. Instruments are inserted to bust through the scar tissue, we are talking five rods that are graduated up to almost the diameter of a #2 pencil...is everybody OK? bear with me...they go in after he squirts lubricating/numbing gel into my peepee with a sort plunger device. And the gel doesn't really help the pain. When that is done I must wear a Foley's catheter for 5 days...that is plugged and I void through the tube. The urine falls out via the gravity method. If I hold it too long the urine backs up through the Foley's catheter and leaks down the urethra so wetness is a constant scare. Or should I forget to place plug back in the catheter or the plug falls out then you have a constant drip which is embarrassing because when you feel it it’s too late…your soaked. These things have happened to me during the year I've been going through these treatments. And you get that pee urge feeling; they are termed SPASMS and that keeps you guessing too. Then when the catheter comes out I have little control for about 5 to 7 days because of the urethral sphincter's inactivity until it strengthens back up. OK now to the point: I wear diapers all the time now for protection. I was always a diaper lover before but now my enjoyment has turned to necessity. I guess being a long time DL has made the transition much easier to deal with...there are several things you deal with daily that the person "doing it for fun" doesn't. Having an ample diaper supply, the going when you normally wouldn't. Camouflaging the diaper, which I do because I'm still in the closet but I am working my way out. I'm sort of a macho guy with a skeleton in my closet, hahaha :P I've been dropping hints to my friends, they know that I've been going though the medical thing so now is the time if I wanna make it known. I will always be discreet but the fear of being outted was always a concern for me...and honestly I don't like that feeling of being embarrassed. I actually very recently told three friends who know that I have been going through this that I must wear diapers, they were very understanding about it to my joy. I have numerous others I am going to break the news to as I see them.

My advice to you is do what you need to do and get on with your life. This activity will become normal (self cathing) and the diapers will remain being the fun they have always been. You should try to work through your depression to one day get off the anti-depressants. Walking will do you well...quiet time for your brain plus great for you physical well-being too. That has helped me cope with this so much. Please PM me if you like, I'd welcome working with you through this, I too had some low moments about this whole thing. That is where rooms like this are theraputic in nature. This place is a fantastic resource :excl:

Till next time ... Huggie :biker_h4h:

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wow.......what can i say huggie, well firstly thanks....in a way I am glad that I posted my concerns. Your reply was both reasurring and gave an insight into what a drama queen I must seem.

You have, like so many others in here been through the wars but some how managed to cope with all that has been thrown at you......a case of having to I suppose.

The one thing that did suprise me is the feeling of embaressment you fear from wearing nappies...why???? I have never felt that and like most things in my life I do tell people " hey I am wearing nappies" basically so they cant use it against me and they have no where to go with it....it works for me anyrate. The funny thing is when I came out over the depression...the amount of people who would say gosh you are brave saying that...and by the way, dont tell any one but I suffer too and have to take meds. My advice has always beeen tell all then no one can hurt you.

My original post was that i was dreding self cath because ..well i was scared shitless and because i had had so much investigations down there when i was a kid.

So much so....my depression made me be such a drama queen about it....thankfully that is now passing.

As for the sissy AB side...well the jury is still out on that one....I really hope I can get those feelings back of just wanting to be an AB again.

But thanks huggie and to all the others......you ALL have truely helped me through this thus far...hope that I can help others too when the need is there

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Hey, so I've been reading posts, but this is only my 2nd post. I just am wanting to say from reading all the stories the these incontience forums, has made me realize my fatasy of wanting to be incontient is certainly not what I want at all.

I mean if something did happen I would deal with it and move on with my life and still do everything I would normally. Now though I realize it would not be all fun and games, and so now realize that being able to wear when and where I want is a blessing and that no body notices unless they already know you wear diapers. So for anyone who wants to become incontient, stop and think about the reasons why you want to do so.

I don't think anyone can realize what changes you will have to make to adapt to being incontinent and think most people who would go through with doing something to make themselves incontinent would regret ever doing so, also think about how people will react that you did it to yourself, rather then because something happened to you.

Also as everyone else has said, be careful what you wish for as it just might come true and you might not like the results. So thanks everyone for cureing me of this as I could have certainly regreted wishing for this later in life.

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