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My Dilemma About Telling My Mother I Am A Dl….


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I have hardly slept for days because I have been thinking about telling my mother that I am into diapers.

Before people say heard this before these are my reasons for wanting to tell her and the reasons I keep putting it off.

I have only really spoke to 2 types of people about being a DL, 1. people who are also involved in the lifestyle like on forums like this, or 2. people I am in a relationship with. The problem I have is all the people I have been in a relationship with who I have told seem to either say it’s weird and leave immediately or think about it for a while then say its strange and leave.

I have a real need to tell someone who doesn’t know about the ABDL lifestyle and for them to accept me for it. The only person I think this may be achieved with is my mother. The problem being once I have told her its too late and I cant take it back, if she doesn’t accept it I loose my relationship with her, But my relationship at the moment is based on a lie now, as much of my life involves diapers and when I tell her I haven’t done anything today it is simply a lie as I have had a great day in my diapers.

I have read lots of other threads about similar problems and here is what I have seen.

1. The understanding that being a DL or AB is a fetish and telling your parents is the same as them telling you there sexual fantasies, I don’t seem to agree with this as I see it as more of a lifestyle than fetish.

2. People tell there parents they are incontinent and need diapers to make them accept them that way, this is affectively a lie also as I am not incontinent and don’t need diapers for anything other than because I like them, and also I know in time the truth would come out and that would be worse than not saying anything at all.

3. Some people say being a DL is just like being Gay, you should be able to tell them your gay without telling them your favorite sexual position, the idea being they don’t react when they see you holding hands with another guy or kissing him in public. The same being a DL, don’t go into too much detail telling them what you like to do in diapers just tell them you like to wear them. So that they know you wear them and if they see you wearing a diaper under your cloths or see an open pack in your room they don’t overreact.

Sorry for the long rant but I would really like peoples feedback even if you agree or disagree with one of the point I have already made, or if you have a totally different perspective.

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I have hardly slept for days because I have been thinking about telling my mother that I am into diapers.

Before people say heard this before these are my reasons for wanting to tell her and the reasons I keep putting it off.

I have only really spoke to 2 types of people about being a DL, 1. people who are also involved in the lifestyle like on forums like this, or 2. people I am in a relationship with. The problem I have is all the people I have been in a relationship with who I have told seem to either say it’s weird and leave immediately or think about it for a while then say its strange and leave.

I have a real need to tell someone who doesn’t know about the ABDL lifestyle and for them to accept me for it. The only person I think this may be achieved with is my mother. The problem being once I have told her its too late and I cant take it back, if she doesn’t accept it I loose my relationship with her, But my relationship at the moment is based on a lie now, as much of my life involves diapers and when I tell her I haven’t done anything today it is simply a lie as I have had a great day in my diapers.

I have read lots of other threads about similar problems and here is what I have seen.

1. The understanding that being a DL or AB is a fetish and telling your parents is the same as them telling you there sexual fantasies, I don’t seem to agree with this as I see it as more of a lifestyle than fetish.

2. People tell there parents they are incontinent and need diapers to make them accept them that way, this is affectively a lie also as I am not incontinent and don’t need diapers for anything other than because I like them, and also I know in time the truth would come out and that would be worse than not saying anything at all.

3. Some people say being a DL is just like being Gay, you should be able to tell them your gay without telling them your favorite sexual position, the idea being they don’t react when they see you holding hands with another guy or kissing him in public. The same being a DL, don’t go into too much detail telling them what you like to do in diapers just tell them you like to wear them. So that they know you wear them and if they see you wearing a diaper under your cloths or see an open pack in your room they don’t overreact.

Sorry for the long rant but I would really like peoples feedback even if you agree or disagree with one of the point I have already made, or if you have a totally different perspective.

WHOA there! You're going places you really shouldn't with this :whistling: No matter how you see this, why must you burden your Mom with it? If it's a lifestyle and you want to live it then do so- if she's got questions she will ask. You don't have the right to make someone else uncomfortable by discussing things like this with them unless they ask you to :angry: Even if you expect to 'be outed' somewhere down the road, this should wait till then- not now :glare: Have you really considered the possible outcomes of your choices- really? :o

You need to slow down and ask yourself why you would want to mention this to anyone? Other than unburdening your psyche, what good will that do? :huh:And what if things don't go well? You might get such lovely things as homelessness, unemployment, total social scorn, loss of all friends and family, violence- not to mention laughter in your face :crybaby:Can you handle that- really? Because these are real possibilities, they have happened to real people in the real world, and you're not immune :drive1:

Your real problem is that you haven't yet 'found yourself' :mellow: You've only found part of you and it seems overwhelming. You're too young to fully realize that time changes you- yes even with things like this ;) But mostly you're being selfish. Give yourself a year to make this decision- set a deadline if you must- but give this a lot more time or it's likely to bite you in the butt harder than you know is possible :boxing: If it's that important to you then it's worth taking a year to be sure that you get every detail right when you step forward. Take that time to consider every aspect and angle and outcome that speaking up might have, plot a course that covers all the possibilities, and set yourself up to be able to handle them :closedeyes: Until you do that you're not ready to do this and because of that you're likely to fail- is that what you really want?

You don't know what living the kind of life you speak of is yet, so how can you know how to tell someone else about it? What if you try it and don't like it? What if it turns out that this is just your hormones going into overdrive and you are connecting your sexuality to it as a substitute for what you really need? Then what will your life be like if you tell, because like you said you can't take it back once it's done :(

Take it from someone who's dealt with coming out as another of life's oddities: you're not ready to handle this yet. Trust me because I know that you do not know- I think that you do too :angel_not: Until you have tried the life and do know, this is something that can- and should- wait. You'll live through the waiting and you'll be glad you did when that year is up.

Bettypooh

Life Member of the BeenThereDoneThat Club :blush:

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Guest little_jonny

think realy hard about doing this. some relationships between parents and their sons/daughters when they tell their parents about being a Dl/AB. some are good and some are bad. most of us like to keep the life style private and away from our parents and have only told the one there are in relationship with... are you and your mom close? can you tell her anything with her being understanding? i wish you the best of luck

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This is like the Dr. Laura thing about telling a spouse that you've had an affair when they do NOT know about it.

It may make YOU feel better to 'fess up, but WHAT will it mean to the other person - in this case, your mother? You then burden someone else with the knowledge of something that may then damage a relationship or leave them dealing with something they don't understand or aren't capable of understanding or dealing with.

You are a DL. You can indulge yourself discreetly. WHY does your mother NEED to know about your DL side/life/world? She doesn't. WHY does anyone ELSE need to know about your "secret desires" or "secret life"? They DON'T.

I agree with BettyPooh. You need to work through a lot of feelings and emotions YOURSELF, FIRST. THEN, and only then, you can decide whether you want to involve OTHER people, and to what degree. Deal with YOUR anxiety, FIRST, YOURSELF.

It's like getting through the first period of time after quitting smoking. Once you resist the urge for that first cigarette, it's going to be tough. But, if you can tough out THIS five minutes, maybe you can make through the next 5 minutes, then maybe the next 15 minutes, etc. until the urge/craving passes. Dealing with anxiety regarding diaper fetishism is like this. Deal with your anxiety, FIRST. THEN, move forward...

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It's ultimately up to you whether you disclose to her this information or not. Only take onlinr advice lightly. You ,now your mother better than anyone else, and if you think there is a possibility she will accept your diapers, then tell her. Who knows? Maybe sometime down the road you can convince her to change your diapers!

Think POSITIVELY, my friend. :smiley-baby-boy:

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It can only really go to ways, you tell your parents they think your sick and need help. Or you tell your parents and they think why the fuck is my kid telling me something I never wanted to know. Stop and think, would you want your mom to tell you about how she blew your father on her knees in a dark ally because they enjoy the risk? Sex lives are personally affairs and It is not exactly socially acceptable to go and tell your family. If you need someone to talk to, talk to a therapist, if you want acceptance, find friend into the scene, it can also help to not feel alone. I knew about this fetish nonsense since I was in fifth grade and have struggled with coming to terms with it as I am sure we all have. In a nut shell if you do it, god speed, but if it goes bad, it could at worst tear your family apart.

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and what if for some reason your mom doesn't accept it. If you want acceptance, that's what this place is for. If you want to talk to some one I agree with a therapist. I strongly favor sharing with a potential mate, and if caught by my folks, I might have had to own up, but I can't see any good reason to tell a parent, after reaching adulthood.

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It's ultimately up to you whether you disclose to her this information or not. Only take onlinr advice lightly. You ,now your mother better than anyone else, and if you think there is a possibility she will accept your diapers, then tell her. Who knows? Maybe sometime down the road you can convince her to change your diapers!

Think POSITIVELY, my friend. :smiley-baby-boy:

No.

Just... no.

The mother does NOT need to take part in the fetish, thank you.

I'm beginning to have some slight suspicions about you honestly, nothing against you personally, but your posting style is rather similar to WnM24/7 and you've said some... questionable things. If my suspicions are unfounded then I apologize in full and hope that you're willing to forgive me, but after that fiasco, I tend to be a bit more... easily alerted.

OP, My advice, do not tell her, you risk your entire life as you know it for what? A little feeling better about yourself because someone may or may not accept you? I highly recommend not telling family members at all, cause things like this tend to spread around a family easily. I've told one person total, and she's my best friend in the world and will even indulge me in it occasionally, however, she knew about AB/DL before I told her, she's an avid Tyra watcher, and that episode interested her, so she did some research on her own. She knew about it, and accepted us as a group, and it still took her a long time to fully accept me, it was hard for a little while after I told her

Me and her have NO secrets at all, we can tell each other anything, and we do, but it still damaged us for a short time. If your mother is less accepting, it could break you.

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My parents always knew i was a lttle strange lol i was the wild one as far as the kids were ! .But my mom has told me i knew you have done some crazy things but i do not want to know about them so keep it to yourself .So far it has worked very nicely sometimes parents just don't want to know !! good luck OP :thumbsup:

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Thanks everyone for your comments the more i read the better i feel about not telling her, at least for the foreseeable future.

I have always been honest with my mother other than about my diapers but i realize i didn't tell her for a reason then and that hasn't changed enough for me to need to tell her now.

thanks again everyone, especially Bettypooh your advice made me really think which was great.

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Have to echo Bettypooh, If you are looking for acceptance, you must first accept yourself.

Hard to believe I'm sitting here sounding like the old guy, but I guess that's what I am now. You have time to figure this and many other things out, use it. Don't worry your Mother with this, or label yourself as the "boy who likes diapers" by telling other people. Soon you will also get to make this decision with a girlfriend as well. Once again, while I do think honesty is the best policy, I wouldn't tell some girl who I wasn't sure was the one I planned to spend my life with. A moment of "honesty" could haunt you for the rest of your life.

Make peace with yourself, keep this side hidden, it may (not likely) fade as you develop other interests.

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self acceptance can only come from yourself

going through life on the acceptance of others for you happiness only leads to misery

"so mom i like buttplugs and just need you to acxept that"

"so mom i love watching hannah montana and i just need you to accept that"

"so mom i love wearing boxers instead of briefs and i just need you to accept that "

"so mom i really only like getting oral not giving and i just need you to accept that"

"so mom i like wearing diapers and i just need you to accept that"

all incredibly pointless thing to need your mothers acceptance for

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Guest Mummy Jeni's baby

my mom found one of my paci's yesteday when she came over. I just told her its a "stop smoking aid", she said "good idea". Its not that I don't want to tell her about my life style its that she don't need to know. She would accept me if I did tell her but tbh its not her business, she doesn't need to know every aspect of my life. She knew I was into bondage before I even knew it myself (I used to loved getting tied up as a kid and would always play with locks) and told one of my girlfriends one day as we all was having a drink together.

Anyways I don't hide it from her but I just don't go shouting it from the rooftops either.

As others have said, the only person who can give you acceptance is yourself. If your going around looking for acceptance from others you not truly accepting of it yourself. If you feel like it could ruin your relationship with your mother is simply not worth risking. If you feel your mother will just accept it then tell her, but your mother accepting it won't magically fix your need for acceptance.

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