Taking Some Time

[DailyDi]

Won't be that active for a little bit. Extremely upset about something I came across this morning and rather than take out my rage on you good people - or pull the plug on the whole place - I'm taking a couple days to try and get over it.

[Skywolf]

Sorry to hear that :[

Take all the time that you need, everyone will be waiting to welcome you back :]

-Sky

[ppbenn]

I hope whatever you came across works itself out and no longer upsets you. Good luck DailyDi.

[miketwob]

Won't be that active for a little bit. Extremely upset about something I came across this morning and rather than take out my rage on you good people - or pull the plug on the whole place - I'm taking a couple days to try and get over it.

WOW I'm sorry please take all the time. Im sure all be ok when you come back.

[babykeiff]

Mike, take all the time you need. If I could help in anyway, all you need to do is ask.

[flyfisher1]

Won't be that active for a little bit. Extremely upset about something I came across this morning and rather than take out my rage on you good people - or pull the plug on the whole place - I'm taking a couple days to try and get over it.

No Problem - do what you need to do. Hope you work it out. This is a fantastic site and wouldn't want anything negative to affect it or you my friend.

Regards

Loyal follower

[daddy ant]

must be serious if you thought on pulling the plug......take your time. get your head clear and good luck

[square_duck]

WOW! I can't wait to hear about THIS one...something that pissed you off enough t make you want to pull the plug....ERF..

Anyways, as everyone else said, take your time, we'll be here......waiting......waiting........waiting........wait..

I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE!!!

*major accident*

so ummmm...yeah.....we'll be here.

*waddles off to get a mop*

qwack

[Daddy R]

Tell us who or whats going on, I think enough of us get together, we could help or teach the problem a lesson.

Won't be that active for a little bit. Extremely upset about something I came across this morning and rather than take out my rage on you good people - or pull the plug on the whole place - I'm taking a couple days to try and get over it.

[dypers]

Won't be that active for a little bit. Extremely upset about something I came across this morning and rather than take out my rage on you good people - or pull the plug on the whole place - I'm taking a couple days to try and get over it.

Awwww We hope you feel better soon.

[babymikeblue]

i hope you get better soon

[dogpiss]

If there's anything your on-line friends can do to help, let us know!

I for one offer the services of my Army of Evil, my Navy of Dubious Morality and my National Guard of Malicious Intent! (OK, so me and a couple of drunk military buddies... a good chance I'll be drunk too.)

But seriously, if you want to talk we're all here for you... don't let the rough spots wear you down and remember there IS/ARE someone/someones who care!

[DailyDi]

I'm typing this on my laptop... at five in the morning... on no sleep. So please no crap about spelling or grammar. Not even going to double check it.

Yesterday I came across a photo of me... as a child. I found it in a collection of photos that apparently was bing sold for almost 10 years on another site. A site whose owner despised me for beliving we needed a free community, and spent years harrasing me through false complaints to my hosts, sponsors and even legal agencies.

I only shared that pic with "friends" one of whom betrayed my trust and posted it to that site, who started selling it.

My childhood was not always an easy one, and that photo was a rare happy day in a dark time, and I feel like people who hated me stole that moment from me - for money, for spite, I don't know why.

So I'm dealing with the betrayal of a friend, the insult of a treasured memory being stolen from me and sold, and the bad memories of those days. I'm furious, and severely depressed. It's making me question if I have wasted more than a decade and thousands of dollars trying to contribute to a community where I still get hate mail and see posts on other sites calling us creepy for allowing phone-mommy and pay site ads in able to keep it free.

I'm strggling to keep from crying even as I write this as most of my friends are 'virtual' relationships and I don't even feel like I have someone to talk to right now and my usual outlet - this community - is a source of the pain.

I'm just lost right now.

[AutieAB]

Shit that's horrible

It's making me question if I have wasted more than a decade and thousands of dollars trying to contribute to a community

We don't think you did...

[SSJTyler]

Hey, am sorry to hear a friend betrayed, the only thing I wanted to say was when your thinking about the time you put into this site and this communit think of the good. this is something I learned to help me combat my depression, when your overwelmed but negative thoughts take a peice of paper and write Happy vs negative. yes I know I capped the H its my little way of cheating the paper to my the Happy side better. but write it out and I bet you find alot more things make you smile then they do make you sad and hopefully it will cheer you up.

[Juliabam]

I wish I could say something to bring lightness in the dark, but I'm virtually speechless. I cannot, will not comment on the photo, or the fact that som creep is selling it for his own benefit, but I wanna say this..

This site, brings hope, joy, warmth and soothing words to all of us who suffers in one oer another way but all find way to same place. It's the lighthouse in what for some can be a very dark alley, and fo most of us who finds this place, it's mainly giving hope and acceptance of our situation. You with your site, helps many deal with problems that for some is difficult to understand and for many are hard to discuss with even the best of the friends.

The simple existance of you and your site, powered by the ability you give us, help us all to be free when we may feel the most locked in.

You may feel that a few are throwing you on the ground and jumping on you with their militaristic right wing nazi boots, but you must believe, that I and probably a lot oher, just read the answers, are ready to hug you and hold you in our arms, to say thank you for being here, and try to give you hope and proof that you do a difference for many others than you and I personally are tankfull for you being right here where you are.

I too love you much,

Julia

[Repaid1]

Well I hate to thread HI-Jack. I tried to write something yesterday, but became overwhelmed with emotion again. It seems my depression has reared it's ugly head again. I had a pretty good day going on Friday, that turned pretty nasty towards the evening. It got extremely worse Saturday when I was out and about while Mommy was at work. Well not till she got off work. She came into a establishment and verbally embarrassed me in front of my peers. It was merely a missunderstanding, but I didn't get a word in edgewise.

She took my laptop, my only real world source of income and enjoyment. Then she took my truck keys and my set of car keys. I have missed two work appointments already, and it has driven me so far down the ladder of depression that those "feelings" have came back. I seriously tried hard to not let this bother me as I know she suffers from emotional problems too. But I came so very close to making a call on the phone for help yesterday.

But this just went above and beyond what I feel I could take. I am already the talk of our small community were we live, how my wife took my Car and "bitched" me out and stuff. I already got calls from clients that have heard I am having "problems". I am devastated beyound belief. I feel I have lost what little life I fought for over the years. I feel betrayed by my wife...and even worse I feel she really didn't care for my little side, as I can't imagine a mommy hurting her child like this. Those that have a spouse that's into this scene may be able to understand that the nurturing part is a huge part of trust, that which I feel was thrown away in a simple mistake.

I now sit home all day with nowhere to go and no money to do it if I could. She hasn't spoken to me for three days and I guess that's for the good as right now I don't think I could take it. The hatefull way she demeaned me infront of others might appeal to some of you into that kind of thing. But it did little to do more than to crush the little shell I had built up around me with all the stuff I deal with on a day to day basis.

So, I guess we are already short staffed, I will do what I can, while I can. I'm thinking about calling the VA for some help but the last time I went there, they literally thru me into the looney bin. Not something I feel I could take at this point. I don't think I could talk to anyone else around me now as she has soured that pot, and I don't know what she has told them and I don't think I have the strength mentally to put up my side of the story. All this is over $40 dollars I took out of the bank account after we both got payed. I never even got a chance to tell her it was for a surprise for her. After the event, I just went and hid at a bar and blew $20 of it.

I had all intentions of giving her the $40 back when confronted at such a demeanor, but with all the attention she was attracting and being asked to go outside during her tirade. I was just to embarrassed to stay there. I had to walk home as she had the keys, and then "break" into the house as she had the house key.

So I will do what I can here, and if you don't hear from me for a while it means I gave up, and went to get some help before this goes where I don't think either of us would like. Perhaps

I don't think she could apologize enough in a year right now to right this wrong which I feel in betrayal. She has moments, like all people I guess. I get used to them when I know they are coming and keep my distance, but this was out of the blue. She has promised in the past to never do what she has done this time, another lie I guess. I feel so lost, so you guys try and stay somewhat sane in here till Daily and I can get some sanity back in our lives..

Peace I'm out!..

P.S. please don't quote my post as I will probably delete it, as the day moves on. I would hate for her to think I'm having you gang up on her for this. It isn't my intention to draw sides, just give a heads up and talk to someone. Okay done, except to say that NO we aren't having financial problems which is why this is hurting so bad.It seems lately it has to be her way all the way, whcih is good for my baby side, but I am a adult male too, and I do have feelings.

[fideliuscharm]

I'm just lost right now.

I can only hope that as time passes you'll find a path upon which you no longer feel lost. I too am grateful for your hard work and effort! Please take care of yourself and do what you need to do.

Thanks for giving us the heads up! Now how can we help?

[alex 04]

am not realy sure what to sat to DD and repaid but here some *hugs* and hope thing get better for you both

i have had some bad times this year and repaid you help me a lot so hang in there

repaid does that mean i will not be kicked out of chat for a while

[square_duck]

Holy Cow!

It seems that when it rains it pours! I'm sorry to hear about all this bull crap happening, and having it happen almost simultaniously is rather amazing, I'm sorry for all the pain happening. I don't even know where to begin...damn!

For Mike (DD) please believe me when I say I honestly feel your pain. i have felt the sting of betrayal, and yes, it really leaves you with no where to go and the anger and pain and hurt run VERY deep...it is indescribable. Briefly, I learned while I was working as my fathers trustee for his estate, and honestly trying to help him and be a good son and do everything right, that he had lied to me most of my life and in truth never wanted children and resented both myself and two brothers, and resented and hated my mother, all because of money and status. I was 47, and realized that I had been living a lie and was at the hands of a manipulative and abusive parent who looked down on me, and not with the eyes of someone who loved and cherished their child, but with seething hate. What I, or my brothers did to deserve this, who knows. Anyways, to make a long story short, yes, betrayal is a VERY bitter pill to have shoved down your throat, and it is very difficult to move past, when you feel you cannot trust anyone. You ultimately have to think of a couple of things (and I know thinking is impossible when your angry or emotional)

1) The reasons for the betrayal, why someone who is a "friend" would throw away that relationship and hurt someone they called "friend" what was gained?? Though I don't know your whole history with these people, in reading your post all I see is envy and jealousy from these people BECAUSE you DO have a free site, and you do get sponsors and advertisers, and possibly they don't and can't, so this is a way for them to 'get back' at you for being successful at what you do. People are that way these days, and I don't know why. Success is vilified and belittled and failure is somehow expected..I don't know.

2)You can't shut yourself away and tear things down. All that does it let them win. Success is the greatest revenge and you have a successful site here and they know it and it pisses them off. You know what though?? THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM! Not Yours! they are trying to make it yours by doing this to you. You don't deserve it as you didn't do anything wrong, but a lot of things right, and thats what makes them jealous and angry. I have some quotes from Mother Teresa tha I printed out,and I want to add a few here, maybe pin it somewhere on the site as a reminder to both you and repaid and anyone else having issues. It's titled "Anyway"

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Teresa

REPAID1

I know you feel alone right now, but don't tear down what you posted. You have been trespassed on and your wife needs to know that. Show it to her and make her read it. She needs to know how badly she has hurt you and even though she has her own issues, she needs some help as well, she cannot just dump everything on you. I know that being an A/B isn't easy, and having gone though what you have makes it that much harder. Please don't feel alone, as you're not, there are over 17,000 members here and several hundred who post and enjoy this site and you help then do that. Both you and mike have given a lot, and we have received, but it's not a 1 way street. We are here for you, so talk to us. Don't give up, don't crawl into a dark hole and let others beat you....i know, I have been there and done that most of my life and I know it's wrong. Think of this, maybe your wife hasn't said anything to you for 3 days because she knows she was wrong, and cannot apologize or admit it. That maybe so, or not, I'm just guessing, but this needs to be brought into the light and dealt with, or it will happen again. Hang in there, take care of your customers, and keep going. No, it's not easy, but there has to be some understanding of what is acceptable and not acceptable and what she did was unacceptable and hurtful.

She might feel it was justified...who knows. IF this all revolves around a $40 with drawl from the bank for a gift, then WTF?? Get the gift anyways, and give it to her and let her deal with it. If she doesn't know your side, tats her choice. This really doesn't make sense, especially if you're not hurting for funds, and you could afford a little item like this with out breaking the bank.

Sure you're an A/B, and you like that roll and place it puts you, but your also an adult with adult feelings and needs and desires and you also know the difference between right and wrong. on top of that your a retired Marine, so you have that in your basket as well, as a tool to fight for whats right and wrong. Public humiliation is unacceptable, especially when it involved character assassination. IF she has damaged your reputation in your town, theres something that needs to be dealt with as well, and interfering with your business that brings you income is a BIG NO NO. If this whole thing was only about the $40 you took out of the bank, I am assuming that you have a joint account, which is how she found out about the withdrawal of the funds. Maybe you need to open a seperate account for your own funds, so you can do the tings you want to, with in reason, and not cause any worry.

I don't know, I'm guessing here....all I see are 2 people in pain caused by similar activities rooted in betrayal. That is an evil monstor, and one tha is difficult to over come, but I hope you read the poem I posted and I hope it helps.

You have a note in yoru signature box about people writing you about issues with the site, or personal problems or just needing someone to talk to...that too goes both ways. everyone here has email, you know mine, so if you need a place to vent, an ear to chew on, or just a shoulder to cry on or to punch (I'm a big guy 6'210 lbs, so I can take it) let me know.

You have heard from Julia, and others and there will be more.

Mike and repaid1, hang in there, talk to who you need to, and don't shut down. yes this shit makes you angry, yes it hurts, it hurts like hell, been down that road....and it took me about 18 months to work through it, with the help of a therapist. But remember, keep going anyways, and don't let them win. As Julia said, say in the light, keep building and growing and being successful, you do far more good than you know, and have many many MANY friends all around the world.

So lets all give Mike and Repaid a universal

HOO RAH! and semper Fi

You guys are worth it.

{{{{{H*U*G*S}}}}}}}}}}

qwack

[Dougie]

DailyDi - When you have the best you will be a target to others. When you offer the best for free, anyone who operates a "pay" site will hate you for it. These are facts that will not change no matter how much you want it to.

Repaid1 - I hope things improve for you. You may want to talk to the VA again. The earlier you get help the quicker it will be to get back on track.

[stubaby7]

i have bean coming here since 2004 and this is my home away from home u have gone throue alot in that time and bilt this site from a msn chat room things will all work out i know u can do it we beleve in you stay diapered and happy your loving freind stubaby (aka) Boo Boo

[PPBear]

DailyDi, Thank you for providing a forum for our fractious community to connect with others, it's a dirty job at times and i am glad someone does it. Some points that occurred to me about this while i read about your distress:

Never assume malice where ignorance or stupidity will serve, i doubt the 'friend' was aware that pic was in a mixed bag that 'shared' with someone.

The site that has persecuted you is selling a pic for which they do not have a model's release... yes? Is that a potential avenue for redress?

If there is anything we, as a community can do to help, please say so...

Regards for a job well done: PPBear

[h200420012]

WOW.

Thats f'kd up DD. I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. Don't let something like this rip down a huge pillar holding the community up.

-h200420012

[Sojourner]

Jeez, Louise! I can completely understand and somewhat empathize with you, Di. That happened a few years ago with an AB/DL group I used to hang with...

We had an AB/DL campout and invited quite a few people. In its second year it did even better than the first, and the first wasn't bad! We of the Committee had strict rules about photographing others at the event: (1) you had to ask if the others wanted to be photographed, and (2) NO UPLOADING of their pics without prior approval of those being photographed. A new camper took pics without others' approval and we were surprised to later find them uploaded to another site. Campers began seeing themselves outed and were furious. We acted, diplomatically, towards the camper and asked politely-yet-firmly that he remove the pictures he uploaded, as he outed many people and clearly violated the Camp Rules that he agreed to...and signed in ink. His loseresque response was to defame all campers and Committee members by calling us all "goose-stepping Nazis" and cry 'censorship!', but he removed them as asked. His verbal tirade earned him a permanent banishment from any further activities. Malignant narcissism at its worst, I suppose. We simply won't put up with that bullshit.

I agree with you, though, what happened to you just wasn't right, by any token. That type of spite is injurious and consummately immature. We're not talking an isolated, insulated affair, but an all-out public assault...and for profit. That kind of revenge is lower than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. If anything, be comforted in the notion that "Time wounds all heels".