Social Networking And Transitions

[Sophie ♥]

I deleted my Facebook page about two and a half months ago, for a lot of reasons. But I do also realize that everyone uses social networking sites for invitations and birthdays and stuff. Without it, things get complicated.

But in two months time I'll be living as a girl. Which changes a lot about a Facebook experience. I can't just go get my account back; I'd need a whole new one. And I could change my name, but my last name will still be the same. And if someone from my old college or high school or blah blah blah recognizes the last name and recognizes my picture, they'll go into shock and I'm really not all for a Facebook page that just gets spammed with hate comments from douche bags.

*sigh*

I don't know. I want to be myself and not have a ton of people know I'm trans... Obviously the people important to me will know, but Facebook has a lot of superficial friends (those people who never really talk to you or even comment on your profile) who just friend you to friend you. It's not like I've told those people I'm a girl.

And it's not that I'm worried about folks from my past finding out I'm a girl. It's more the fear that I don't want folks from my future finding out I was a boy.

I'm just looking for suggestions I guess. Maybe I should just not get a new Facebook...

-Sophie

[TDL]

Why not change your last name then? Personally, I hate Facebook. I'm sure that Facebook was the reason for me splitting up with my ex... She kept playing farmville!

[Sophie ♥]

I feel Facebook is good for it's intended purpose: to stay connected, and not much more...

But I don't want to change my last name. It's my family name...

-Sophie

[TDL]

True... I'm not sure how you could handle this. If I were you though, I would just be like "what the hell" and just take the chance. Perhaps the best way to come out WOULD actually be posting it on teh interwebs? Who knows, but think about what I said; your friends WILL find out eventually, via Facebook or through real life

[Sophie ♥]

It's not my friends I worry about. I am starting a new college across the state in August. I'd prefer to be known as a girl without preconceptions. I don't want a ton of people knowing I'm trans...

I'm thinking of just making a site, making it private to only friends, and then putting up a picture that isn't me. Like an object or something I adore in my life or something I own. Kind of like an "avatar" more than a "picture".

Opinions?

-Sophie

[Saschadzg]

It's not my friends I worry about. I am starting a new college across the state in August. I'd prefer to be known as a girl without preconceptions. I don't want a ton of people knowing I'm trans...

Hallo Sophie,

There is a lot of illusion. It is most likely, that people will notice it through other clues than your online profile. And if pepole always disconnect from their past, there will never arise acceptance and tolerance, as nobody knows any TS.

Kvetinka

PS: You may add a picture, if you have changed more. Old school mates usally do not recognize me in town any more.

[timmyc]

Why not have 2 accounts, one as your former self, that old friends can find even if you are not actively posting on it, and another as a girl. Be selective who you give the the info to.

[Sophie ♥]

I am dropping my boy self off the Earth. There will be no boy account, although I like your out of the box thinking.

As for Kvetinka's comment, it's probably what I'll end up doing... I don't want to be a spokesgirl for TGs. I just want to live my life. But, unfortunately, not being female (at the moment) is part of that life. *sigh* I have a friend I'd like to talk to about this, but she isn't around right now...

-Sophie

[WallaWalla]

You're over complicating things.

[Sophie ♥]

I don't disagree with you. But I'm a worrier.

-Sophie

[cute_baby_charlotte]

I think that for now the avatar thing may work until you transition a bit more... I Haven't started transitioning or living as a girl and already I have an account as a girl, I just use an avatar of Cream the Rabbit lol. I'm scared of people finding me out too, but once I'm "out" to everyone enough in order to be able to live as a girl, I'm not gonna care much for people from my past finding out... in the online world, my boy identity pretty much has dropped off the face of the earth...

I understand what you mean by friends on your profile who are just friends for the sake of being friends and nothing else. I have a lot of these too on my original profile... but honestly, not only do I not care if they find my new profile, but I doubt they will anyway because friends who are friends for the sake of being friends, the type who don't talk to you, probably won't go out of their way to look for the profile.

It was probably a bad idea to delete your facebook profile... I kept mine, and I just slowly let it die. There's an illusion of me being there so people usually don't question my absence but... yeah... no one's going to go looking for a profile of someone that already exists...

If you really wanna hide yourself, my suggestions are use an avatar for the moment, maybe use an obviously fake last name (like my friend Daniel listed his name as "nolastname"... I don't see what the point of that was since his profile had pics of him on it ), and if you really want to go out of your way, create another profile of how people know you as, to create the illusion that you're still around, and then make your other profile (and don't let the two profiles friend each other lol).

I hope my suggestions help, or you find another way to resolve the issue

[cute_baby_charlotte]

oh wait I just read that you're not makin ga boy account lol... oops

[Sophie ♥]

I actually really like that idea. And it makes a ton of sense the way you kept your other profile around... I never thought of it that way. Still, the hype of me getting rid of mine has died down so I don't think it's that big of deal if I make a new one and use an avatar.

And I understand not to let my profile friend my boy profile (sorry if that sounded complicated), but I also have friends who know me as a boy that I'd want as my friends on my girl account, because they openly accept me. And I could be found THROUGH them. Even though I do agree that I am being overly paranoid and is likely to never happen... it's just a theory. And one that worries me a bit.

Still. I do think I'll end up doing what you suggested, Charlotte.

-Sophie

[TDL]

So what if they find out? I mean, it's not like they are going to... Oh, never mind. Just do whatever fits you the best

[Sophie ♥]

I suppose social networking sites have the tendency to give the user a lot of control and privacy over their profile anyway. I feel like I'll do just fine. But nonetheless, I appreciate all the support and ideas of the community.

-Sophie

[Total Trash]

I realize I'm a little late, but Facebook allows you to make your profile only visible to people in your network. So other students at your college will be able to see you, but as long as you don't put your high school name in your profile, your high school "friends" won't see it. Even if they can see the name on your profile, without a picture they'll probably just assume it's for a relative of yours or something. You can also always block anyone giving you a hard time, or not accept friend requests from people you don't want to know about your new life. In all honesty though, I changed my name and gender on my Facebook several years ago, and didn't get any kind of comments from my friends in high school (almost none of whom I ever gave any indication about my identity).

[Sophie ♥]

^ I agree with you wholeheartedly. And thanks for the confidence boost.

I am sure I'll make a facebook soon... but, right now, I don't have enough friends to actually WANT social interaction with me. So it can wait another month.

-Sophie

[KittenAB]

Why not change your last name then? Personally, I hate Facebook. I'm sure that Facebook was the reason for me splitting up with my ex... She kept playing farmville!

I call it Failbook ... it's lost all it's meaning now.

[Sophie ♥]

Props to the person who created a delete button.

-Sophie

[amp501]

I dunno if I'm allowed to post in here, but from what I noticed, most people don't even think twice about facebook anymore. Some people snoop, but you'd be surprised at who's open to the idea of transition. More power to ya, folks.

[Sophie ♥]

I dunno if I'm allowed to post in here, but from what I noticed, most people don't even think twice about facebook anymore. Some people snoop, but you'd be surprised at who's open to the idea of transition. More power to ya, folks.

Anyone who has something to say has a right to post anywhere.

-Sophie

[Jabez]

I haven't decided what exactly I am going to do yet regarding my Facebook page. Either I am going to create a new "boy" account, or I am just going to delete everyone I don't want off my current page and change all the information. But I have given Facebook a lot of consideration in regards to my transition.

[rickibrat2]

i do not like face book that much

what i ahve found i like is the home for the link below

the link is about a freind growning up and things we need spcial over one week in time it was pretty cazy and effected our lifes for the rest of them

one thing i have founds in others feel safer talking with gays about transgender issues then SRT8 males

and i know it is craszy to want to go back to a different time butit was a different love and one that i think owuld have lasted to this day

ecept for viet nam

http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Miss-My-Best-Friend-Growing-Up-He-Was-Transgender/392686