Dailydiapers Needs Increased Moderation

[diamondback6881]

Ya' know... I looked and I don't see a clear and easily accessible link to "The Rules" anywhere.

That isn't anything new. There hasn't been a post containing rules since I've been a member here.

[dprtodd]

Psychologically, a person who seeks out an argument in actually crying out for help. The argument is a defense mechanism to self harm so another can't hurt them. Anger and aggressive behavior are typical protection mechanisms. An animal will first growl to show it is larger/more powerful when threatened, but in reality, the loudest animals are usually the more scared.

To them I say, do you want to have just one argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?

(I tell you I've all ready paid...)

[belinda_sue_fox]

NO, you haven't

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

It's hard for me to say to DailyDi or Repaid1 - this is a great site and you're doing a great job, but... However, I do agree with many here that there is a growing concern about conduct, context, and how this site is moderated. I think those are fair concerns to be discussed and have been since the beginning of this site. I truly believe DailyDi is doing what can be done and has our best interests. It’s continually demonstrated by improving this site to accommodate our concerns so that we can communicate better and enjoy our experience here even more. Unfortunately, you can’t please everyone and it must be a never ending job resolving so many complex issues with such a diverse community on a free site with what I assume is a modest budget.

Back on point: What I see as the main issue here is not so much what one says on the boards, but where they say it. Obviously, the main forum, Our Lifestyle Discussion Forum, is the hub of the community and most reflects who we are. Unfortunately, it’s also a magnet for the trolls, attention-whores (love that term), and the pervs.

All I would like to see is a few posts, not all, but a few, moved out of this forum to more appropriate forums. For example: Some messy diaper posts, which much has been discussed about lately, could be moved to the Stinky, Squishy & Proud forum, if not immediately, then after a few days of discussion.

I know I would feel better if this forum was cleaned up a little to better reflect the majority of our members. I will do my part and try not to feed these posts that tend to dominate this forum at times with outrageous claims, extreme preferences, and tasteless context, if more effort was made to move some of these posts out of this forum. I think this anything goes attitude in this particular forum is causing too much division in the community and only emboldens those that feed off causing diversity.

Disclaimer: I’m not suggesting that you can’t discuss something like bondage in the main forum and it’s only appropriate in the Bondage Forum. I’m saying there is a difference between soliciting feedback from the community as it pertains to bondage than forcing a preference upon the community that doesn’t reflect the majority. Unfortunately, some posts start out very innocently and turn into that...so some discretion should be allowed, especially if the author is actively responding and refocusing the discussion back to its original intent.

[timmyc]

I have been on internet forums not necessarily ab/dl that where over zealous moderating has completely destroyed the community. I have seen places like DPF & ABY where the complete lack of moderation also has sunk the community. I am for freedom of speech. Eliminating spam and keeping everything legal is responsible but I really appreciate the mods here not trying to play god. I have only seen one or two people here I would consider trolls, and it is probably not who people are referring too here.

[Mary-Ann]

I'm all for free speech, but I'm also for peace- and that has been in short supply here lately I believe the tempo of moderation here is adequate- it's the standards and methods used for moderation that I am unhappy with While I've never moderated a board this big, the job isn't new to me- I've owned and/or moderated about a dozen message boards in the past. One of the things I did was to let members know privately when they were nearing the edge of trouble. Explaining the standards I expected and what would happen if they didn't chill out some was usually enough to avoid the unnecessary embarrassment of a moderated post, to settle frayed nerves, and to keep everyone happy. Well almost everyone, but that's as good as you're going to get I had to run very few people off in my previous work-less than 1 in a thousand I guess. The rest who disagreed with me left on their own volition once they saw they were going to get no further going in the wrong direction. They went elsewhere to places where their ilk was tolerated, thus leaving me with little work to do cleaning up And believe it or not, most of them and I still remained friends!

It pays to remember that while we the members don't own this website, we the people made and make it what it really is. Mike created it, configured it, setup the features, and pays for it but the people here do the rest. When the majority of the active users are unhappy with something or someone, then something should be done about it or the good people will get fed up and leave while the problem remains and grows. I watched sadly as a forum I once frequented went down the tubes because there was too much freedom allowed and the bad people who wouldn't be educated stepped on the good people's toes After taking all each could tolerate, the good people left. I loved that place as I love this one. Years later it's still online- and full of hate, derision, trolls and spammers. Yet once it was a shining example of what good (if a bit odd) people were really like. It can happen here- it will happen here- unless adequate measures are taken to prevent it.

I'll hang around as long as I'm happy here, but I won't be heartbroken again. If the disease of too much indifference comes here then I'll be gone before there's nothing nice left alive here to enjoy

Bettypooh

I haven't been on forums or message boards that long but what Betty pooh has writing makes the most sense to me . thank you for writing it .

[wolverine0012000]

the downside of completely unmoderated free speech is you get content of the lowest common denominator. the "good" posters will quickly leave after becming tired of the BS. all that remains is the useless sludge and trolls. moderation is never an easy job (im a moderator of a forum with over 10,000 members) and while free speech is great, the owner of the site has to find a balance between free speech and tasteless, crap content. DD is quickly falling off the list of places i frequent simply because of the kind of garbage that is allowed ot be posted. much of it i feel is badly detrimental to our community and if it makes its way to amore public venue only serves to farther isolate people involved in our fetish, and gives people who claim we are everything from mentally ill to pedophiles plenty of ammunition to fight us with.

If DD continues the current trends of bizzare extremeism shown lately i will have to bid you goodbye and good luck.

[babykeiff]

<snip>

but you can't seriously sit there and tell me that the lion is in reality a big pussy.

<snip>

A Lion, as you correctly mentioned, is a member of the cat family, and IS a big pussy cat. However, it is evolution that creates the, not so subtle, differences between an African Lion and your next doors moggy.

In relation to the 'trolls' that appear here, it is the socioeconomic circumstances that most psychoanalysts would state is the reason why they act. In my experience, it is a lack of experience. When communicating with a large body of people, certain behaviors and decorum is expected. As the community interest gets further than the stereotypical norm, it is assumed that the decorum is given greater latitude. The specific level can't really be set, as is Repaid1 and Mikes choice, since to do so would put unnatural restrictions on the freedom of the community as a whole. Both Repaid1 and Mike try to allow new members the time to learn and therefore set their own boundaries, without actively interfering, but prefer to control with a more passive approach.

If a set of rules were published, it would change this forum from an open community to a dictatorship, which in its very nature, would curtail freedom and stifle the growth of the forum.

All I ask is that you try and give people here the same latitude and acceptance that you wish to have, and allow them to learn from the interaction with others here, how to work within what you think is OK. Everyone here was once a 'troll', but it was others giving us the time to adjust and learn that allowed us to contribute to this and other forums.

[Missy Q]

Everyone here was once a 'troll', but it was others giving us the time to adjust and learn that allowed us to contribute to this and other forums.

Without giving out the name of the person in question, when I was new to the forums, I never called anyone "Hitler" and made up false stories about myself and then admitted they were false after everyone got upset over them.

[FretaBWet]

I keep seeing a recurring theme in some of the posts advocating stricter moderation. The theme is the idea that the general public will see posts that are on the extremities of the community and use it to judge all of us. Unfortunately this happens to be true not only in cyberspace but in real life also. Even more unfortunate is that there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

If you started strictly moderating this site and removing any posts that seem to stray from the middle of the road you will still be facing the same problem. Just as a few posts can be used to judge all of us on this site, other sites we cannot control will be used to judge us in a negative light.

As an individual I don't have the power or the ability to control someone's thoughts. If you are going to judge me unfairly then there is nothing I can do to prevent it. Trying to control people's posts so we can control the opinion of the public about this community is just as futile. The one thing each of us does have is the ability to control our own thoughts and actions. If the public thinks of this community in a negative light I can't stop that, but I can tell you I won't be feeling guilt or shame because I KNOW in my heart they are mistaken.

Hugs,

Freta

[Missy Q]

You folks speak as if the area between normal post and troll post is a very gray area.

To be perfectly honest, the last bunch of trolls that have been present are quite obvious. 

This is the only forum (out of the 4 or 5 or so I used to use) that does not have trolling as punishable action. It may be for "free speech" or whatever, but it's just opening up the doors wide for all kinds of assholes.

[sarah_ab]

ok so please define for me, in clear easy to understand terms, exactly how you would define a troll post?

make this as short and as easy to understand as possible, without being vague.

[Missy Q]

ok so please define for me, in clear easy to understand terms, exactly how you would define a troll post?

make this as short and as easy to understand as possible, without being vague.

Intentionally being an asshole or saying controversial stuff to incite argument or hoard attention.

(For example, going into a religious forum and talking smack about religion for fun)

[sarah_ab]

Intentionally being an asshole or saying controversial stuff to incite argument or hoard attention.

(For example, going into a religious forum and talking smack about religion for fun)

well in that case many members here would be guilty of that, for so many many people will say something to start an argument, or say something controversial, or say something to 'hoard' attention... but intention cannot be gauged or measured... what you see as intent to start a fight, another member may see as a witty comment, another member may see as a legit concern. and how would you define asshole? or controversial..

when i post that for me ab is entirely sexual, that can be very controversial as for many members here it is not sexual at all... so then i am a troll?

[aleyxsis]

There is a lot of things that are posted on this site that i do not like .But i give it a lot of thought before answering or commenting on the posts . Some are just to damn stupid to reply to so i happily ignore them . But i do get a kick sometimes on how these trolls can piss some people off other times i don't finish reading the comments .It just gets too repetative and nasty .To much moderation leads everybody to afraid to say anything in fear of reprisal . To little moderation leads to anarchy a fine line my friends a fine line !!!

[diamondback6881]

Everyone here was once a 'troll'

In the years that I've been here I have never once been called a troll.

[square_duck]

Again, as I said in other posts, people need to take some semblance of personal responsibility for their own reading and content, if you don't like it don't read or respond to it.

Most of the 'questionable stuff' I am sure gets deleted and dealt with by admins. You cannot filter everything. Yes there is BS that gets posted and what would you suggest?? having a 24 hour delay between posting and having that post being read and 'edited' and then either posted or deleted???

If that is the case, have you checked recently how many people are on this site?? how many people post here?? we have a current membership of over 17,000, who, over time, have posted over 286,000 posts. which comes out to an average of over 16 posts per person. DD's mail box, I am sure is loaded everyday with messages, as is Repaids, even if you assume that 'most people don't post...say 75% that still leaves 4250 people to be active. As far as I know, this site is pretty much run by DD and Repaid, and thats it. Even if you assume the above, and every active person makes 1 post, thats still 4250 messages and images that need to be reviewed....DAILY! Thats a full time job for anyone! I know DD does a lot and spends a lot of time here, but even he has to take a break now and then. Repaid either works part time or is unemployed, yet is kind enough to volunteer his time and efforts to keep the major crap to a low level. Together I think they do an awesome job! THANK YOU!

If you want more mods,we would have to have 2 mods for each forum that we offer to filter through everything everyday....and some people would start screaming "wheres my post I made 2 days ago" and freedom of speech and racism or Communism etc.

This is another use of the ratings feature we have. If you don't like a post...vote it and the author down. There are far more readers and users here than mods. So in effect, we are ALL mods here, since we have the use of the ratings system. You can report a post of you see it as being harmful to the community as a whole, or 'might' have questionable content, and DD or repaid missed or hadn't gotten to yet.

I have no problem with how this is set up or run, and I do my own 'editing' of the material I read....some is 'questionable'...we can vote down and into oblivion if we want. I just object to people wanting more babysitters to take care of things instead of each and everyone of us helping with the site. It is here, it is free for our use, you can even donate if you wish to help make it a better place.

But don't ask for more people to hold your hand because you don't want to contribute. We can police our own site, and help the mods we have...and we out number the 'trolls.' Help if you want, this site, like a chain , is only as strong as it's weakest link. We can make it strong...but asking a few to do the work that many users can and do provide already is unfair.

Like they say here in Texas and The united States" Love it or leave it"

Sorry, but I contribute, I vote on posts and their effectiveness or undesirability, and I contribute financially...I would expect nothing less of any and all others who visit and use this site on a regular basis.

qwack

[aleyxsis]

Nicely put duck ! A big ole quack back at ya !!

[timmyc]

In the years that I've been here I have never once been called a troll.

Troll

[ErinM]

Troll

Hey, watch it. That's my man you're talking about.

[babykeiff]

...

Everyone here was once a 'troll', but it was others giving us the time to adjust and learn that allowed us to contribute to this and other forums.

That comment, seems to annoy some, so I will expand my meaning. It is the interaction with others, either on the internet or in person, that allows ones mind to expand, and also teaches one how to correctly communicate without unintentionally offending others. We all started without that ability to communicate, and knowledge / experience gave us decorum. We all can think that we never were a 'troll' but truthfully, when we acted that way, it was within a protected closed group (as a child protected/supported by a parent/career/teacher/friends) - where some members here, the so called trolls, did not have that security OR could not learn.

Secondly, aggressive behavior is also typical of a two or three year old trying to reinforce their own independence. One of the first words a child learns, and will repeat is 'no'. An adult mind shows this same action as 'trolling' and attention seeking.

In actuality, we should help the 'troll' rather than try to shun them, and read past the aggression.

This action will either sate the troll OR drive them away, as it means that one is not reacting to the aggression. World history has told us that violence begets violence, and the only way to defeat same is with peace.

[Repaid1]

"Repaid either works part time or is unemployed, yet is kind enough to volunteer his time and efforts to keep the major crap to a low level."

Actually I'm on a Service related disability pension. But still work 3rd shift full time. Morning shift here and the occasional part time computer job fixing a friends computer in the afternoon. So there! "major crap to a low level" Diaper board? get it?

[Darkfinn]

People that troll here do it differently than on other boards. I don't care about controversy or people starting arguments, heated debate is half the fun. What does irritate me to no end is when people post tasteless things, completely exaggerated stories, and flat out lies just so they can get their jollies. There are some personas on here that are complete fabrications and are used so the person on the other side of the screen can masturbate while people respond to their threads. Take your time and read some posts... if you listen closely you can hear the fapping.

Maybe we should just make a "Tall Tales of Tastelessness" subforum and toss all those posts in there, because I'd rather not be party to fulfilling some fat hairy basement dwelling slob's latest fantasy.

[timmyc]

People that troll here do it differently than on other boards. I don't care about controversy or people starting arguments, heated debate is half the fun. What does irritate me to no end is when people post tasteless things, completely exaggerated stories, and flat out lies just so they can get their jollies. There are some personas on here that are complete fabrications and are used so the person on the other side of the screen can masturbate while people respond to their threads. Take your time and read some posts... if you listen closely you can hear the fapping.

Maybe we should just make a "Tall Tales of Tastelessness" subforum and toss all those posts in there, because I'd rather not be party to fulfilling some fat hairy basement dwelling slob's latest fantasy.

And as adults we have the ability to to look at a post, and if we determine it to be BS move on to something else.

[square_duck]

"Repaid either works part time or is unemployed, yet is kind enough to volunteer his time and efforts to keep the major crap to a low level."

Actually I'm on a Service related disability pension. But still work 3rd shift full time. Morning shift here and the occasional part time computer job fixing a friends computer in the afternoon. So there! "major crap to a low level" Diaper board? get it?

Thanks I know you had something going on other then babysitting this place, but I couldn't remember and didn't want to have to hunt and dig around to find it, since you had mentioned it before.

And as adults we have the ability to to look at a post, and if we determine it to be BS move on to something else.

*DING* *DING* *DING* *DING* WE HAVE A WINNAH!!!