Age Differences In Relationships

[babyfur]

I've noticed something when people ask me about my fiancee and they ask (inevitably it seems) how old he is. the age gap between us(I'm 20 and he is 63) is less of a big deal in the ab/dl community it seems. Let me explain why I am in such a seemingly grotesque relationship. NO he is not robbing the cradle, and no i am not gold digging and he is not a sugar daddy. I am simply more mature when it comes to love than ninety percent of guys my own age. at my age most guys are still thinking about just having a good time where as i am looking for love, not just lust. I am thus naturally attracted to more mature men and he's the m ost mature and supportive and loving and just all aorund wonderful guy i've found.

[squashNstretch]

Try not to worry about it. You will get it, luckily the AB community, gay community, furry crowd all are pretty accepting people. You get used to the same old questions when one or both of you is really tall, interracial(sad I know) etc... Dont let it get to you, but expect that you will get a lot of questions like that your whole time together.

Also, high-five for finding your match!

[PrincessDragonette]

I think you're right, I think the AB/DL community is probably (generally) more accepting. If I had to guess I'd say it's because we understand that age is relative and has nothing to do with how many years you've been on this rock.

Don't feel bad and try to ignore the questions ... Love knows no boundaries that I'm aware of, I for one am glad that you have found it.

[sarah_ab]

hahaha course maybe he is just really immature!!!!!

sorry come on i couldn't resist..

but no seriously, if yuou are happy then who the hell cares how other people react.

[toon]

been there done that I was 20 and he was 53.

It was more of a way for me to deal not only

with my abandonment issues with my father

but also some of the sexual abuse by my grandfather.

we were together for a few years until I met my wife.

He knew I wasnt going to be around forever and

that ultimately I wanted a wife and family.

While we were together I got the same questions.

I have heard alot of different opinions of the whole

thing, sugar daddy etc. I had a job the entire time lol

anyway I just wanted to say I understand what you

are talking about. What you should focus on instead

of the questions etc. is the happiness you two share

together.

if you two are happy I wish you many years of continued happiness.

[AutieAB]

I got some crap from certain elements of my family (three out of four of my grandparents for starters) when I got engaged to my wife who's twenty years older than me. For a while it bothered us both but we quickly learned that that's their problem and not ours. Sometimes it's a tad awkward when random strangers see us together and assume I'm her son but again, we're learning not to be so bothered by it.

he's the m ost mature and supportive and loving and just all aorund wonderful guy i've found.

And as I'm sure you know, that is all that matters. If you're happy, b*****ks to anybody who doesn't understand

Incidentally, eventually my grandparents all came around when they realised I was happier than I'd ever been. My wife had the same problem but in reverse with some members of her family. In much the same way, they've realised that despite that she's married to someone much younger than herself, she's also happier than she's ever been before.

[Yvhuce]

Holy crap... And I thought a 10-year age gap would be bad... A 20/63 age difference goes beyond the "this person could be their parent" range and into the "this person could be their grandparent" range... That's just effed up...

[Guest Wetnmessy247]

Wow.....a 40 something age gap is.....debatable. Is this serious?

When you are 30, he will be 73.

When you are 40, he will be 83.

When you are 50, he will be 93.

This is an insane time gap here. How are you able to be in public and ignore the obvious staring and attention? do you kiss in public.

And what is the sex like? I can imagine a lot of back giving out, cramp, pain, and heart pain.

[babyfur]

I know it's strange but my therapist explained my feelings which (are really a strong desire to spend time with him doing things together(nonsexual things))probably started out as an attempt to bond with an older male who was demonstrative with his affection/approval(again not romantic or sexual just any kind of affection and more importantly approval) my father and both my grandfathers came from familys who show affection and approval by giving you rewards when you do something that makes them proud but not really by saying anything to you. So basically my relationship started as an attempt to find a surrogate father figure and then blossomed into a romantic relationship.

@wetnmessy:

There aren't any of those problems with sex not that it's really any of your business. for what it's worth he;s actually in very good shape. he runs 3 miles everyday.

[sarah_ab]

funny the therapists job is to help the patient come to their own explanations and realizations.. must not be a very good therapist if they are telling you their own thoughts... lol