Tg'S + Therapy

[Guest MunchKitten]

T-girls, T-boys, what are your results with therapists, have you had some religious whack jobs that think you need an exorcism, or are they cool, when I had to go back in 04-07, mine "tried" to connect to me, he failed miserably.. as a result I never talked with him.. much. whenever I get insurance, I'm going to start going and actually talking (my parents blew quite a lot of money on a therapist, all they learned was that I had depression...) Also, do you have any preference to which gender you wanted. And, is it just me or are gender therapists a pain in the ass to find?

[Guest MunchKitten]

Never mind, I just looked at the list on lauras-playground and there is one only about 25 minutes from my house, I can deal with that, too bad its in the ghetto.. ugh northern IL is turning into a gangland, almost as bad as some spots in Chicago *sigh*

[Guest MunchKitten]

And a side question to any TG's in college, do you use your birth name, or your female name?

[Bettypooh]

....is it just me or are gender therapists a pain in the a$$ to find?

I see you found a Therapist, good! But since you opened the subject I thought I'd pass along my Therapist story.

After calling a very dear friend in another state who talked me out of pulling the trigger she made me promise to find a therapist the next morning. I had called her because I knew she had Clinical Depression and had been through the same thing. I didn't know what was wrong with me but something obviously was since I'd never been suicidal like that before. By then I knew I was TG and was heading toward transition so I wanted someone to get my letter from anyway. The next morning I look in the local yellow pages. Not much hope, a few hinted at an open-minded attitude so I called and told them up front that I was Transgendered. Out of the first three receptionists two didn't know what that meant and asked me to explain I said "if you don't know then you can't help me. Thank you and goodbye." The second one knew and said they didn't work with TG's and couldn't reccommend anyone The forth told me the local mental health center could help so I tried there- and got a rather emotionless recording explaining they only took calls twice a week during certain hours and that if I needed someone now to go ask my clergyman or a private therapist! Of course by now I'm thoroughly depressed and ready to give up but I promised, so I try again

More phone book, and the next receptionist said it was more than she could handle but would I hold and she'd get the therapist on the line? At least I'm getting somewhere now The name was "Terry" so I thought it was a woman but the voice on the other end was a man. I explained how close to suicide I was. Yes, he'd be willing to try to help but he had no experience with TG's and by the way did I dress the part? I said "yes" then he asked if I knew where he was located (yes again) and set up an appointment for the next day. Maybe I could stand to wait that long. Arriving as scheduled I see a note on the door- the office is closed all day because he had to take his pet to the Vetrinarian- like that's more important than people ready to commit suicide? Like a Vet visit takes all day? And why did it matter how I dressed so long as it was legal? Now I'm really depressed and don't know what to do. I call my friend who says go back home and call till I find someone, so I do.

I'm out of ot now, bordering on hopelessness and suicide again. My phone calls are blunt and to the point- "Hello? I'm TG and suicidal and I need help now. Can you please help me?" My crying is evident in my voice as the tears flow freely and won't stop. Most don't want 'severe cases' like me. Some say to call the local mental health center and after hearing what that got me already just say "Sorry" and hang up. Yep, very professional people indeed, I'd like to kill every dam% one of them before I do myself in Finally I get a woman who says sure, she'd help- be there this afternoon! The relief was immense but I was worried that her office was at a church- something didn't seem right about that. I meet her outside, we go in and within fifteen minutes she's preaching at me about how God doesn't want me to be TG and that it's all the chemicals in the air and in the water which caused this. I end the session telling her she's so very wrong and that she needs to do her research before taking on another TG case. Then the bitch wants me to pay her for her "professional services"! Too dperessed to argue and fight I pay. Now what do I do? I call my friend again. She tells me she heard of a TG accepting therapist she's heard about indirectly, but this woman is an hours drive away. By now I would drive halfway across the US to find help so I call and set up the appointment.

The office is a small house tucked waaaay back in the hills on a dirt road in a very redneck part of the world. There's no signs anywhere. I look at the directions I wrote down- yes, this is positively the place but nobody's here. I'm scared because if something were to happen to me there's no way I could get help when I can't tell them where I am. Death isn't unwelcome but a beating or worse isn't my cup of tea. Fifteen minutes later I'm reaching for the key to start the car when I see a cloud of dust down the road. I wait and I'm glad I did because it was her and I got to meet one of the smartest and nicest people in thew world. She apologized for being late and said she was worried abour me but her daughter got sick, she thought it was the flu, and she had to be taken to the doctors office- and that rather than waiting for that to be over she called her sister to pick up her daughter so she could get to the office for me! Now that's a professional attitude. Not only did she help me get through my depression, she saw me as a woman and later on said that she had never doubted that from the first moment she laid eyes on me or anytime since. It took me two years of therapy to get my life sorted out but we managed and I learned more in those two years about myself and how the human mind and spirit works that most therapists know. However I am, I can live now, I can accept myself without reserve, I can love myself faults and all, and I can love others.

YMMV and I hope it does if you're seeking a therapist so long as you end up with one as good as mine. There will be pain, there will be tears, there will be happiness as you find solutions to unsolved problems- some of which you may never know you had- but that's all part of it. You're not stuck with the first therapist you find and you don't need a 'gatekeeper' or have to work with someone you prefer not to work with. It is hard finding a good TG therapist but keep at it until you do. There's nothing like the satisfaction of being able to go forward in life with happiness and a good outlook with the solutions to your problems in your very own hands

Bettypooh

[Guest Katharsys]

T-girls, T-boys, what are your results with therapists, have you had some religious whack jobs that think you need an exorcism, or are they cool, when I had to go back in 04-07, mine "tried" to connect to me, he failed miserably.. as a result I never talked with him.. much. whenever I get insurance, I'm going to start going and actually talking (my parents blew quite a lot of money on a therapist, all they learned was that I had depression...) Also, do you have any preference to which gender you wanted. And, is it just me or are gender therapists a pain in the ass to find?

Your best bet would be to ask/join a local support group. Then you would have the collective experience from others who were where you are at now. One quick one I ran across is the Chicago Gender Society. Start there, or go to Illinois Gender Advocates for further group links.

[Guest MunchKitten]

thanks alot!

[Aurelius]

I talked it through with a regular counsellor, who was pretty left-wing in social views, who actually talked me out of it (although I was leaning that way anyway). But yeah, if you're really serious about it or having some long-term conflicts and problems, then it can be very difficult finding someone professional and fair.

[FretaBWet]

Hi MunchKitten, Katharsys gave you very good advise about contacting local transgender organizations. Unfortunately, going to the average therapist about gender issues is like taking your BMW to a bicycle mechanic for repairs. They may try really hard to fix the problem but success isn't likely. There are therapists in every large city and many suburbs that have experience in helping those with gender issues. The problem is finding them.

By making contacting your sisters in the gender community your first priority you will be able to minimize a lot of the work and pain involved with transitioning. One of the things we all have in common is our need for qualified therapists, psychiatrists and doctors that understand our needs and are willing to help us. The people you will meet in a transgender support group will probably be somewhere ahead of you on the path and can give you a lot of help. They can not only can tell you the doctors they see but they can tell you who to go to for hair removal, they can tell you where you can find a good wig if you need one. When I didn't need prosthetic breast forms anymore I passed them along to someone new who needed them. That's the whole purpose of having a group, support for each other. If you have trouble finding a group just send me an IM and I'll see what I can do. I've been around the block a few times.

Hugs,

Freta

[Guest MunchKitten]

My therapist is mostly LGBT with several transgenders patients.

[lil jenny]

i personally haven't been able to find any one close to ware i live at all. and am not the richest person in the world so even if i do go to one. i probably couldn't pay for it for a long time. but i wanted to say that for all of us... the best therapy we can have is others like us. to talk to others who know how we feel and or who have been to the dark places we have been and come out smelling of roses...... so to speak.. yes we need to talk to the docs. but at least if we have others like us to talk to people that understand on a personal level then we can keep going. know what i mean

[Guest MunchKitten]

my therapy is free because of a friend who knows said therapist

[lil jenny]

my therapy is free because of a friend who knows said therapist

awwwww * wimpers* you is lucky wish i was dat lucky lol

[Guest MunchKitten]

my therapist tries to give back to the community as best as she can. I help her find more transgender related stuff (places for legal hormones, electrolysis, laser, etc.)

[lil jenny]

my therapist tries to give back to the community as best as she can. I help her find more transgender related stuff (places for legal hormones, electrolysis, laser, etc.)

wow that is cool... wish i was near you hehe then i could get some help with out paying boocoo bucks ..

[lil jenny]

why do you sapose that is that they are going to deny it ?

[lil jenny]

Case exampls and a recent policy statement declaring that for most TG's, they will have to live full time for 2 year before hormones, and another 2 years before surgery.

Also because I have a 1/10 chance based on the common law of beiong accepted. Odds of 10 to 1 are not exactly favourable.

awww * hugs* dat stinks. wish dat it wasnt so much work to be able to be who we are

[Protection]

Hey there, I just wrote tons of stuff this morning on therapy, heres my personal experience, more on my site -

About 2 years ago when I was getting hot&heavy about starting my transition, I was required by my doctor to see a therapist, so I found the closest “sexual

[Guest MunchKitten]

my therapist asked how much weed I smoked but said "I ask everyone who comes in" Wasn't taken too aback by it, I have had a lot of heavy use of it.. My therapist is AWESOME, I'm glad I found her. She's very open about everything (although I haven't gone into ABDl stuff, but we have talked about my BDSM interests, and she says while not totally healthy in my situation (my depression issues), she seems to know a little too much about it.. (although she's a lesbian).. Shes very knowledgeable about TG related stuff, very friendly, and best of all, Still not paying

[lil jenny]

my therapist asked how much weed I smoked but said "I ask everyone who comes in" Wasn't taken too aback by it, I have had a lot of heavy use of it.. My therapist is AWESOME, I'm glad I found her. She's very open about everything (although I haven't gone into ABDl stuff, but we have talked about my BDSM interests, and she says while not totally healthy in my situation (my depression issues), she seems to know a little too much about it.. (although she's a lesbian).. Shes very knowledgeable about TG related stuff, very friendly, and best of all, Still not paying

still think you is lucky and wish i was that lucky

[sissymichelle]

T-girls, T-boys, what are your results with therapists, have you had some religious whack jobs that think you need an exorcism, or are they cool, when I had to go back in 04-07, mine "tried" to connect to me, he failed miserably.. as a result I never talked with him.. much. whenever I get insurance, I'm going to start going and actually talking (my parents blew quite a lot of money on a therapist, all they learned was that I had depression...) Also, do you have any preference to which gender you wanted. And, is it just me or are gender therapists a pain in the ass to find?

I guess it all depends what kind of therapist you see, and what their specialties are. Riley Kilo, saw a sex therapist, told the doctor that she wanted to start transitioning, and about her AB desires. The therapist wasn't that aware of either community, and basically called Riley a whack job... Which she talked about just before me... Just remember, you have to be comfortable with the therapist, the first might not cater to your needs, and you have the right, and I do suggest switching therapists if need be.

I have just found out that I was selected by a gender counselor, from a hospital that caters to the GLBTG community. The hospital is not only for therapy, but has a medical clinic as well. I will be starting to go to gender counseling next Thursday. And the following week I have a 40 min physical and blood work, to be done to me. As I was talking on the phone with the counselor, he told me that due to my male name being on the insurance paperwork, that it is on my paperwork for the hospital. I know it bother's some girls/guys; me, not really, it is still my legal name, and formalities for my insurance coverage. There is even a form that I can fill out, which I will to correct my name at the hospital. My dentist on the other hand, I do go by my male name, as they do not cater specifically to the GLBTG community; I am just fortunate that, they are very TG friendly, and always gave me a pleasant visit.

[lil jenny]

I guess it all depends what kind of therapist you see, and what their specialties are. Riley Kilo, saw a sex therapist, told the doctor that she wanted to start transitioning, and about her AB desires. The therapist wasn't that aware of either community, and basically called Riley a whack job... Which she talked about just before me... Just remember, you have to be comfortable with the therapist, the first might not cater to your needs, and you have the right, and I do suggest switching therapists if need be.

I have just found out that I was selected by a gender counselor, from a hospital that caters to the GLBTG community. The hospital is not only for therapy, but has a medical clinic as well. I will be starting to go to gender counseling next Thursday. And the following week I have a 40 min physical and blood work, to be done to me. As I was talking on the phone with the counselor, he told me that due to my male name being on the insurance paperwork, that it is on my paperwork for the hospital. I know it bother's some girls/guys; me, not really, it is still my legal name, and formalities for my insurance coverage. There is even a form that I can fill out, which I will to correct my name at the hospital. My dentist on the other hand, I do go by my male name, as they do not cater specifically to the GLBTG community; I am just fortunate that, they are very TG friendly, and always gave me a pleasant visit.

*wimpers* lucky bums i dont have that kind of luck.. but i am happy for you *hugs*

[Saschadzg]

Case exampls and a recent policy statement declaring that for most TG's, they will have to live full time for 2 year before hormones, and another 2 years before surgery.

I neeeded six months full time and therapy for hormones (HRT) and 2.5 years for SRS in Germany.

[sissymichelle]

I neeeded six months full time and therapy for hormones (HRT) and 2.5 years for SRS in Germany.

It all depends what therapist you see. Some require one year, some require more or less. It is probably determined how out and about you are with yourself, along with other considerations, like is it life or death for the individual to be on hormones or not. In any route, it is better to see a therapist, and get the proper bloodwork done, before and continuing the use of hormones. It can lead to death if not administered with the proper regime.

[glasgow_diaper]

I have some experience with a gender therapist on the NHS. I went to a place where you can bypass getting a referral from your local GP and self refer yourself. I thought the person was nice enough, I struggled to speak to him about such issues (I blame it on my immaturity at the time). I don't know if NHS Scotland have it different to people in the rest of the country but I thought this was a good set up. I just wonder what it's like when it goes further than the therapy stage and onto the hormones, RLT stage because I certainly felt as though he was pushing me away from it. But need not worry, when the Tories come into power I believe they will remove Transgender surgery etc from the NHS to 'save money' despite it being a drop in the ocean compared to all the people who are in on a Friday and Saturday night drunk and been battered to pieces!

[glasgow_diaper]

Since Parliamentary devolvement, NHS Scotland has its own set of rules.

Lucky B****

Frankly I think you'll have full devolvement within a decade.

As for me, the 4th referral has not come back and it's p****g me off now.

I don't think we will! There's too many people like myself who like to reap the benefits of being in the Union. We actually get more money back in our budget than we put in as tax to the treasury. I will be voting No but because of SNP not have a majority in the parliament the bill can't get passed because Labour, the Lib Dems and the dreaded Tories would never allow it to be passed. Its a turkeys voting for Christmas scenario.

Have you tried to speak to the head of the department or something? The place I have went to have make there fair share of cock ups but I really feel sorry for you and your situation.