I'M So Busted

[superdiaperbaby]

Ok, I have read all of these posts and I have to say, What is up with the noobs attitudes? These forums have never been a swearfest or mean to our members. I have stayed on them for years because everyone around here is generally respectful to others. Welcome to boards but please be respectful.

Now to the topic at hand, I think it has been handled well. I mean sure at the beginning it seemed like she was overreacting, but there was no chance for meaningful communication so I think a bit of mercy is warranted on both parties. Sure the ultimatum was given, but then retracted. It shows you that she was not the bad person everyone thought she was. However, on the flip side the fact that you were ready move out for your fetish shows that you were more convicted than her. This kind of shows us what kind of relationship you have. You have the capability of guiding her in this journey. Now that you have explained, stop wearing so much and don't press anything. Let her just get used to the idea first before walking in front of her. Maybe once in a while wear under your clothes. Relationships are a two way street and if there is no respect by both parties then they will surely end. I think it is on the right track, just take it easy and don't press anything and maybe show her that she is important to you as well. Now if she is well under the importance range because you had everything packed and weren't mourning the loss of your relationship then maybe it is time to part ways.

SDB

btw: Loose is something that is not tight. "Lose you" is when you don't want someone to leave you. Spellcheckers won't find that.

[datsun240z]

witch, i did not say any thing about you.. personally i don't care if someone is transgendered. it's their lifestyle choice.. i'm not going to judge.. where it get's annoying, is going through the female section of pics, and finding a steaming pile of cock staring you in the face.. it's off putting to say the least. if you view your self as a girl, there is nothing wrong with that at all. but if you have male genitalia, don't post your pics in the female section, because the rest of the world may not see it the way you do..

freta, close.. well not really. i don't live with my parents, and i have not been a virgin for a long time now.. i don't think the ab/dl community is perverted as a whole, but there are several on this forum, that are not who we want representing us.

by the way, that whole "if you dislike someone or their lifestyle, it must be because you see your self in them" rational is pretty dumb. it's right up there with assuming when someone does not like something, they are jealous

none of the things i listed should offend any one. unless you think it's perfectly ok, for people to want to bring unwitting strangers, or family members into their fetish, or people posing as girls, on dating sites, or old men going after young girls.. do you think that's ok? if so, that does not exactly speak volumes about your charicter. if not, than you should not be offended by my post

i don't think ab or dlism in and of it self is a bad thing. but you can't deny that some of the post on here, are a little over the top perverted, and some disturbing

oh, and as your little stab about me being a member of this forum, notice my joindate and post count.

i'm a dl. personally i'm not into the ab side, and i think it's a little strange to me.. BUT, i'm not going to bash, because it's not my place to judge, and i'm sure there are plenty who think that liking diapers is equally weird.. the difference is: i leave it at just that.. a fetish, and i don't bring others into it, i don't go out showing diapers in public, or doing all the other things that bring negative attention..

so the question is: are you going to say that the things i mentioned are not true?

[Guest Saya]

I suggest we don't hijack the thread with another topic, this topic is about someone being busted and there relationship not about perverts/ gays/ transgenders etc.

ItsJustMe don't be suprise if at one point she trys a diaper etc at one point to try and understand a bit more about the lifestyle, or even suggest it to her when shes starting to propally accapt it. She's still in the shock stage and will take time to carm down as she's got to process the informaion you've given to her.

[dl_ashlee]

Seems to me that she really didn't want to talk about it. Just tell you what to do or else, not the kind of person I want to be in a relationship. Seems to me you would have broken up over something else if she was that controlling, so move on and find another fish in the sea.

[It'sJustMe]

I went to bed last night thinking this was a done deal. I was actually pretty happy with myself for telling her everything and thinking that things would be better now. Then it hit me, nothing had really changed. Yea she knows, but I am still basically having to hide who I am and was already scheming how I was going to slowly bring the diapers out in the open more and more. This is not want I want. And, I went through two days of huge stress to end up right back where I was. I decided that I am going to be myself starting NOW. If she doesn't like it or can't accept it, it is better to find out now rather than a year from now when we are more invested in this relationship or possibly even have a kid.

So I got out of bed, went to my stash (in the spare bedroom) and grabbed a pack of Abriform X-plus and put one one. I then took the bag with me back to our bedroom (she was asleep), pulled the diapers out of the bag and loaded them all into my bedside table. I threw the bag away and climbed into bed wearing only the diaper. I thought that all of this may wake her up, but it didn't.

Every weekday she has to wake up and leave for work before I get up. She always comes and gives me a kiss goodbye before she leaves. This morning as soon as she went into the bathroom to get ready I pulled the covers off to the side so that I was not covered at all and then rolled over on my stomach and tried to go back to sleep.

I heard her come out of the bathroom and walk to my side of the bed as she normally does and sat down next to me. I rolled over and acted normal.

Me: Goodbye, have a good day at work

GF: I thought you were going to keep this private

Me: I decided last night that keeping it private would be just like going back to hiding it from you, which was like lying. I don't want to hide or lie anymore.

GF: Yea, maybe you're right. How about rather than keeping it private, you try to keep it discreet?

Me: I'm not going to be going to the store wearing nothing but a diaper if that's what you mean.

GF: No, I mean around the apartment. If you are going to wear one, wear shorts or something over them.

Me: No. Again that would be like hiding them.

GF: How about a t-shirt, so they are not so out there in the open

Me: Agreed, I will were a t-shirt over them when we are awake. But, when I wear one to bed I will only wear a diaper.

GF: Ok, but don't come to bed in a diaper expecting sex. They are not a turn on for me.

Me: That's fine. And, on nights that we do have sex I probably won't wear a diaper that night. I generally don't have the desire to wear them after we have sex, but not always.

GF: Maybe we will have to start having a lot more sex then.

Me: Wow, that's a deal!

I'm sitting here typing this and still can't believe how well that went. I am truly happy now and she appears to have fully accepted it. The only thing that could make the situation better is if she would participate. I told her before that I would like it if she particicapted, so she knows about that. I'll leave things like this for awhile and bring that part of it up again later. I'll end this here so I can jump up and do my happy dance, again.

[Diapers4Me]

My opinion....but she doesn't sound like the type of person who's going to really accept this fetish. I think she will tolerate you wearing them, but will always hold a secret resentment about them. I think you need to raise this as a concern with her as you've already pointed out that you aren't going to change, and that this fetish is a part of who you are. You can't change that, and to be happy, you really need her acceptance and occasional participation. You shouldn't be talking about "all the time" or often, but you need to set some realistic expectations around this and discuss it with her. It seems she is not closed to diapers, but I suspect she'll have a barrier getting much past seeing you in them. Take it slow, but talk more about it. You also need to press her about what she likes and ensure this is more than a 2 way street! You have to WORK in a relationship to ensure she is happy and visa versa. So that means doing things you don't like to make her happy, and her doing things she doesn't like to make you happy. The hope being that eventually you both grow to at least somewhat enjoy what each other is into. If not, then you probably aren't destined for a long term relationship.

Good luck and keep us posted. Remember, the goal is to be happy....and that often takes work....if it ends up being too much work and not enough happiness....you both need to move on.

[timmyc]

Ok, but don't come to bed in a diaper expecting sex. They are not a turn on for me.

So what does it for her? What turns her on, should be a focus too, give and take. Stay discrete with the diapers, and maybe slowly start making them more openly visible. It is still a shock to her. Focus on her needs, sexual and otherwise. Make her the happiest woman on earth and maybe at some point she will warm up to your diapers a little.

[sarah_ab]

GF: Yea, maybe you're right. How about rather than keeping it private, you try to keep it discreet?

Me: I'm not going to be going to the store wearing nothing but a diaper if that's what you mean.

GF: No, I mean around the apartment. If you are going to wear one, wear shorts or something over them.

Me: No. Again that would be like hiding them.

GF: How about a t-shirt, so they are not so out there in the open

Me: Agreed, I will were a t-shirt over them when we are awake. But, when I wear one to bed I will only wear a diaper.

wow way to be a dick about it.. honestly all this time i thought she was being unreasonable.. but here sorta sounds like you two deserve each other...

wearing shorts over a diaper is not hiding it.. my lord... if this is how the two of you treat each other, then i understand why she exploded at you....

honestly... the first night you throw it in her face about you wearing diapers then tell her you will not wear shorts over them? yes way to 'ease her into it gently'....

sounds like you both feel you need to be 'in control' and get your own way... thats not what a relationship is about... but good luck to both of you...

[timmyc]

wow way to be a dick about it.. honestly all this time i thought she was being unreasonable.. but here sorta sounds like you two deserve each other...

wearing shorts over a diaper is not hiding it.. my lord... if this is how the two of you treat each other, then i understand why she exploded at you....

honestly... the first night you throw it in her face about you wearing diapers then tell her you will not wear shorts over them? yes way to 'ease her into it gently'....

sounds like you both feel you need to be 'in control' and get your own way... thats not what a relationship is about... but good luck to both of you...

concur

[AutieAB]

You need to quit your little stand off. She is meeting you half way and if you want the relationship to survive, you should do the same.

Look, she doesn't 'get it' yet, she may never do so. I understand why you don't want to actively hide what you do but her asking you to be discrete about it is neither surprising nor unreasonable, especially only a few days after she found out in a manner akin to you appearing on Jerry Springer or something.

Be reasonable with her or you'll kill the relationship stone dead, guaranteed.

[datsun240z]

So you joined in march of 2008 that shows me you had years to decide if you wanted to join, that's a lot of opportunity to be sure you liked this site, and also you're still here posting almost a year and a half later so for someone who likes this site a lot you sure say you hate it a lot. Oh and your post count being so low, that just shows you have spent a lot of time reading instead of posting, once again it appears you like the forums, mister contradictory.

as stated, i don't think the forum is a bad thing on the whole. there are allot of people who are a little over the top, and need to tone it down, on the things they do. and that has kept me from posting, because i don't want to be lumped in with some of that stuff.

it's just me, good job on explaining it to her. but jeez. you are just forcing it on her now. if she does not want to be around it, or see it, i think it's perfectly reasonable

[It'sJustMe]

As I was reading through the latest posts one struck me. Sorry I forget now who it was. They asked about what I was doing for her. Although I do a lot for her and I feel I treat her really well she has gone through a lot in the last few days as well and she has seemingly accepted a pretty strange surprise from me. I need to make her feel that she has gained something out of this, not just me.

She happened to call home during her lunch break just as I was thinking about all of this. I told her that I understood that she has gone through a lot and accepted a lot in the last few days. I told her that this weekend would be all about her pleasure and things that she wanted. She was very excited to hear that and can't wait to get started.

So far I have gone to get her a bottle of her favorite champaign and made her a reservation at the spa she likes to go to for a message, manicure and pedicure.

I was originally planning to be in a super thick diaper and a t-shirt when she got home and having another talk to her to try to make sure that she would be able to accept this for the long run. But instead I have decided to not wear at all this weekend and only talk about it if she brings it up. Forcing it down her throat is probably not the best idea at this point.

Any other serious suggestions on how I could make this weekend better for her? I was thinking about getting her some jewelry but haven't decided on that yet. Oh flowers, I think I'll go get some flowers... she loves flowers.

[Diaper_Me]

Wow, great story so far. Wish I would have found this thread earlier. I'll be interested to check back in a few weeks to see where you are at. At this point I think it's 50/50 on whether you will be single and living on your own or will have your girlfriend calling you baby and changing your diapers.

I say get her the jewelry if you can afford it. She has been through a lot in the past few days and deserves to be treated like a queen. Good Luck!

[BabyBat]

I was originally planning to be in a super thick diaper and a t-shirt when she got home and having another talk to her to try to make sure that she would be able to accept this for the long run. But instead I have decided to not wear at all this weekend and only talk about it if she brings it up. Forcing it down her throat is probably not the best idea at this point.

Any other serious suggestions on how I could make this weekend better for her? I was thinking about getting her some jewelry but haven't decided on that yet. Oh flowers, I think I'll go get some flowers... she loves flowers.

That is a great plan IJM, I made the wrong choice here and freaked my (now wife) out where it is the big elephant in the room.

One thing I would suggest (and I have had some time to think) is to not make it look like you are bribing her. Not bringing it up unless she does is a GOOD idea.

One thing to remember is how long it took you to become comfortable with it. If you are like most you have had struggles, and you are the one who likes them. Like you said, she has gone through a lot.

After this weekend when you talk to her again I would make it more of a two way street. Tell her what you expect (require), what you would like, and what you would accept. Like many have said it is a two way street and while she may not leave you it doesn't mean that she will eventually be all gung ho about the situation. And I do agree that it is part of who you are, that doesn't mean you have the right to flaunt it in her face, be respectful about it. That is where the conversation comes in, what does she expect (require), like and would accept? It is all about compromise and if you wear (obviously) around her then it will be one of those things that just builds until it goes bang in a way you don't like.

PLEASE keep us posted, I'll admit if your life were a reality show I would watch every episode .

[DailyDi]

Note: Cleared a little trash from this topic. It seems when a post reached -5 in the vote, I get an automatic warning post

[BabyBat]

Note: Cleared a little trash from this topic. It seems when a post reached -5 in the vote, I get an automatic warning post

Thank you DailyDi, this is a good post and we wouldn't want it to disappear

[HuggieBaby]

Yeah I pretty much agree with everyone else, not putting shorts on would be a little ridiculous. Like I said before you gotta compromise, at this point you should be happy she's ok with you wearing at all. I'm in a similar situation with my gf right now, only mine has been more accepting(but she also wasn't thrown into quite the way yours was). She's ok with me wearing a diaper whenever I want, but I still know she doesn't entirely understand it, so I don't constantly shove it in her face. As far as making the weekend all about her that's definately a good idea, she deserves it after the past few days. Sounds to me like everything is pretty much going to work out though, just remember give and take....good luck.

HuggieBaby

[PampersPete]

[Diaper273]

Hey JustMe, you should think about a few things (decide what choices YOU have and what SHE has).

Firstly, when she gets home, and if you talk, then tell her that this is your fetish. This is part of your lifestyle. You could quit diapers for the rest of your life, but it will always be in the back of your mind. Second, if it is your apartment that you are mostly or even partially paying for, she CANNOT kick you out. You could leave if you wanted, but that's just her being a pissy mood and getting away with it. If she gets angry at you, tell her this is partially who you are. Explain to her what ABDLs do. And if she has a problem with you and diapers, then really it might not work out (unless, again, you quit diapers).

Tell her the truth. Be honest, firm, but collaborative. If she wants to avoid it, tell her how you feel about her. Avoidance is the worst way to solve an argument. It really doesn't solve anything.

Thirdly, remind her who she loves/likes. YOU! If her feelings have been shattered because of YOUR lifestyle, then SHE needs to leave, not you. You shouldn't be "punished" for who you are.

[sarah_ab]

i think its great you recognize her needs and want to do something for her...

but... as a girl, if a guy did all this for me AFTER we had the same sort of past week that you two have had i would 1. feel as if he were trying to buy me back and 2. wonder if he were going to keep it up..

so what i'm saying is, if you are going to do this for her, it can't be a one time thing.. you gotta do it continously. If you only do this after you two fight, or have problems, then it could come across as you buying her forgiveness....

lots of people do this in relationships .. have a fight... buy the girl some flowers and suddenly you've bought her back....

[beachxbunni123]

Why should he leave her to find some other girl that will most likely have the SAME REACTION about diapers as this one? Exactly, he shouldn't. No one should let their fetishes get to the point where they control their relationships and lifestyle. That is unhealthy and that is where fetishes cross the line.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Not for nothing but why does she have to accept it? It was hidden on her and sprung upon her, she has the right to be a bit wary of the fetish. At least from the last ocrrespondence that the original poster listed she was accepting of him using them, it just creeps her out. Dude just give her time and respect her space and she may come around.

[It'sJustMe]

Hi again all. I've got another quick update.

Things are definitely looking up at this point. We had a great night last night. We went to a pool hall we like to go to occasionally and played a little game she likes to play. She goes in first and sits at the bar. I come in later and act like I am trying to pick her up. She was really playing hard to get last night, I could tell she was loving it. She shot me down hard every time I tried to approach her. At one point she even told the bartender that I was bothering her, he told me to leave her alone. She ended up having the bartender tell me that she wanted a shot of the most expensive tequila they had (she ended up having 3 of them). After that she came and sat next to me, but proclaimed loud enough for quite a few people to hear that the tequila would not be getting me into her pants. We then played some pool and then finally went back to the bar for a while. While sitting at the bar I gave her one of my old pick up lines... I said loudly, "If you go home with me I will guarantee you at least three orgasms before I even take off my pants". She then proclaimed loudly, "Ok, you are going to get in my pants tonight... let's go to your place". We got quite a few looks, which she loves and then we headed out the door. This game is fun for me also, but I always think that everyone knows what we are doing. She is not the kind of girl you normally would see sitting at a bar by herself drinking tequila. I wish there were girls who look like her sitting at bars by themselves back when I was single.

Anyway, now to good part. On the way home she told me that she couldn't wait to get home and have sex, I told her that I felt the same. Then, she said that if she passed out before we had sex that I could wear a diaper to bed. She was really drunk, so I'm pretty sure it was the alcohol speaking. I told her no, this weekend was all about her. She then said that me being happy would make her happy and said again that I should wear one to bed.

On the way home I seriously considered wearing one to bed but then remembered that if we didn't have sex that night that I would want it in the morning. She did pass out as soon as she hit the bed. Since she probably wouldn't feel the same way about the diapers in the morning and maybe not even remember suggesting that i wear one; I decided not to wear one. She woke me up this morning by rubbing on my chest and kissing me, I knew what that meant. She then reached down below and felt around... looking for a diaper? I don't know. Anyway that led straight into a couple of hours of insane sex. And yes, she got her 3+ orgasms before I took my shorts off.

So, I thinks it's safe to say that things are looking up. I'm not sure exactly what she is thinking about the diapers now, but I hope to find out when I start wearing again... probably on Monday.

[Diaper_Me]

Wow that is great news. You are right that things are looking much better.

Her game does sound like fun. I wonder if my wife would play that one?

Your post left me with one burning question though. You said that a girl who looks like her wouldn't be sitting at a bar by herself. So I now gotta know, what does she look like?

[It'sJustMe]

Diaper_Me, it looks like you may be the only one still reading this or at least commenting.

I am going to send you a PM with a link to my Flickr page. Just please do not distribute any of the pictures or send out the link. There are plenty of pictures of my GF and I on that page. Tell me what you think.

Nothing interesting has happened since my last post. She spent the day at the spa, then came home and we went out to dinner.