Bringing Up Diapers To Your Therapist

[Nat]

Has anyone here ever seen a shrink or something?

Did you bring up your diaper interest?

How did he or she react?

All of mine have seemed to be okay about it and open. None of them have never judged me based on me wearing them.

But one of them I saw when I was 16-18 thought wearing diapers was socially innaproppiate and it was regression.

My last therapist thought it was interesting when she heard about it in psychology course in school. My current therapist also thinks its interesting. I'm not sure how she heard of it too.

[Angela Bauer]

Let me start my answer by saying I have never presented for therapy by any mental health professional and beyond Intro to Psychology 101 as an undergrad the rest of my training in psychology had been in law school and continuing education to make me a more effective litigation attorney presenting expert testimony.

Of course over all the years I have been an active and high-profile AB woman I have had the chance to become friends with a wide assortment of shrinks. One of the first people Tommy at DPF introduced me to in 1990 was Dr. Tom Speaker who wrote his PhD dissertation on Psychosexual Infantilism. DPF published a version of that dissertation. Once I married Don Davis in October 1991 he introduced me to his friend Dr. Jim Gordon who appeared with us on Montel Williams Show. In 1992 Dr. Mary Ann Hogan wrote and phoned me while she was starting writing a textbook about the treatment of fetish and addictive behaviors. In April 1993 she traveled to Hollywood to participate in an AB Couples event Don and I hosted. Dr. Gordon also participated.

From all these qualified people I have found the current thinking is that even when infantilism reaches a diaper affectation, this is still the least dangerous of the associated addictive behaviors. Consequently based on current guidelines of mental health it is problematic attempting treatment taking diapers away from a patient. Although scientific research about all fetish and especially infantilism is non-existent in accepted peer-reviewed journals, it is believed that infantilism is inculcated very early in life, before conscious memory starts, from an innocent action. Given everyone was changed into diapers thousands of times before toilet training the mystery is why infantilism is not far more common. Infantilism is a lifetime condition based on current practice and the risk in therapy causing a transition to a more risky behavior, such as smoking or drinking.

Based on all this the shrink who told Seattle Girl when a teenager that wearing diapers for fun was regression and also socially inappropriate. The good news for Seattle Girl is that none of her therapists put judgments on her, so they did not make her life worse.

Not one psychologist I have met has ever had a patient present just because of diaper affectation or any form of infantilism. That has only come up during therapy for some other mental condition. For example diaper use beyond occasional sexual stimulation is likely OCD related and deliberately flashing diapers is exhibitionism. Since exhibitionism is almost always a crime, courts direct treatment. Bummer there is no sure treatment. There are drugs claimed to reduce OCD. In combination with extensive talk therapy there many reports of OCD being managed. The big HOWEVER is that almost always the trade-off is the OCD patient takes up smoking and drinking.

Thus each of us needs to take stock of our own life. If we conclude infantilism is getting in our way as responsible adults, then we might need to consider treatment. Later we would worry about giving up alcohol and smoking.

So what the families of people into infantilism and diapers need to keep in mind the most effective approach is to help the patient learn to be discreet, circumspect and use common sense when using diapers. This is similar to the management and support needed when a person suddenly becomes incontinent.

Bummer that most people have no way of finding out the attitude of an individual therapist in advance, common sense suggests strongly being sure you cannot function before seeking counseling for diaper affectation.

[underwhere]

I have a wide variety of issues I have been working through with my therapists. (I've had many over the years, probably more than 10 at this point if you include the therapists I saw as a child, but I've long since lost count.) The two of us haven't spent a significant amount of time talking about diapers specifically, but it has come up in discussion as it related to some of my other ongoing issues related to power struggles with other people and "the world" in general. (I tend to have an "It's me versus the rest of the world" attitude, which I am quite content with but doesn't always serve me well.) I have found her to be very receptive to my thoughts and concerns and the complexity of my feelings which I have not always found easy to articulate even for myself.

Like Angela Bauer suggested, the purpose of the therapist (at least a good one) is not to change your interest, nor is it to tell you that your interest is wrong or improper if having such an interest is not otherwise materially affecting your life, but to help you come to terms with your own interest in a way that is meaningful to you as an individual in such a way so that it won't effect your life to a larger extent than you really want it to.

In order to get set up with a therapist, many organizations require you to go through an intake meeting at which time you can present your issues, to the best of your ability at that time, to a person whose job it will be to present your case to what is essentially a round-table discussion of therapists who work for that organization. In doing so, a discussion can occur among the therapists to see who might be both available and best suited (based upon their own training or interests) to try and help you through your specific issues.

I imagine that bringing up diapers to a therapist is not something that everybody will decide they need to do, but if you feel it might be helpful, it may take a few tries to find an appropriate therapist to work with. It is not uncommon to take 3 or 4 sessions with a therapist just in the "getting to know you" phase, and it may take that long to determine that a therapist might not be the right person for you. Bummer that you have to go through several sessions to find out, but really, that's the only way to know for sure.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you.

[willnotwill]

Told my therapist. No big deal for her. She felt that whatever I wanted to do in the bedroom was fine.

Worked on other things.

[Nat]

I saw my therapist for other things, not diapers.

[sarah_ab]

i just want to point out that if a 16-18 tells their therapist they enjoy wearing diapers, it is certainly understanding that the therapist would point out diaper wearing in an 'adult' or 'young adult' is most definitely socially inappropriate. If that teen is wearing diapers for sexual gratification and wearing to school or church or around family and getting sexually arouse because they are wearing around these people, it is considered by many to be socially inapropriate.

Many teenages lack self control of their desires, and when a therapist sees' teens the therapist often works on issues of self control and socially appropriate behavior. nothing surprising about a therapist saying that, especially to a teen age client.

also wanting to dress and act like a baby IS regression, and in some instances it is a maladaptive behavior used to surpress, ignore, or deny psychological traumas that have occured to someone. It is the therapists job to discover why the patient is seeking to regress andif this behavior warrents more attention or if the client has the behavior under control.

[aarondiaperboy]

I did tell, my therapist about it. He was completely indifferent about it. He said as long as it doesn't harm others, it is fine. It was difficult for me to bring it up, because it was a slightly embarassing thing to discuss.

[anondl]

Spokane Girl

I think your still very much in doubt about this diaper thing. You're young, compared to some of us. Trust me, the anxiety you feel now about this lifestyle, hobby, or whatever you want to call it will diminish.

It is reassurance you are seeking, is it not?

Anondl

[Bettypooh]

I didn't mention diapers to my therapist because it wasn't an issue back then Only later did my DL hit me hard, and that's when my therapy paid off once again: Now I knew how to deal with it! IMHO, that's what therapy should be doing for you- giving you the tools you need to deal with everything in life so that you don't have to go back to the therapist every time you have a problem

Someone mentioned their current therapist knowing something that they hadn't mentioned to them-the obvious answer is that they spoke to your earlier therapist without you knowing about it Therapy relies on trust and had my therapist done that I'd have cussed her out as I was heading for the door My therapist asked me at the start if I minded her looking into my past records in every part of my life- that was a shock!- then said she wasn't looking for someone elses conclusions, only that it would help her understand me better so I said to go ahead(and knowing my own past, I was so red-faced at that point that she just came out and asked what I was so embarassed about ) By the end of that hour we were almost laughing about most the things I was so ashamed of and that's when I knew I had found the right therapist (Disclaimer: The crying came later on- Dealing with the truth isn't always easy but it's always necessary!)

Bettypooh

[BBoy]

Really glad to hear that everyone has had a relatively 'good' experience going to a Therapist/Pschologist. I told my therapist after I was assured that the patient/therapist confindentiality rules existed. When I told him he was honest and said he needed to do a little research but was supportive from the beginning. We discussed it for a half an hour and I gave him the web address for the AR stories I wrote (http://old.ararchive.com/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=792) and made an appointment for the following week. When I returned the following week his opening comment was "You are a very good writer." I just about fell over at that comment. He was very supportive and told me not to stop wearing. As he stated, "You are not hurting yourself or others and as long as wearing diapers doesn't affect your relationship with others then keep wearing." The rest of our appointments he was more concerned with my lack of self-confidence and self-esteme.

So would definitely mention it to your therapist. I am so glad I talked to a therapist. I am definitely more confident and feel better about who I am. Being able to talk with someone about my diaper fetish/diaper interests really made me a healthier person.

Good luck. Hope it goes well. Steve

[enfant]

I've told two therapists. Both good experiences. One, who I'm in therapy with now, is actually a specialist is sex issues, is kinky herself, and knows all about infantilism--that's partly why I chose to go to her. I mentioned I was an AB the first time I called her on the phone, and she found it totally unremarkable; she's had a bunch of other clients and friends who were infantilists, no big deal. She's been fantastic.

The other one, I was seeing about entirely different stuff, back in the early 90s. After I'd been talking to him for a few months and felt comfortable with him, I brought it up. He'd heard of infantilism before but so far as he knew I was the first one he'd ever met--but it didn't trouble him a bit. He immediately and correctly pointed that the problem wasn't wanting to wear diapers but being ashamed of it, and got to work with me on that issue.

If you're interested in talking to a therapist but you're worried about it, I suggest googling for the "kink-aware professionals" list maintained by the national coalition for sexual freedom. There may be someone nearby who's already familiar with the subject and able to set you at ease very quickly. But if not, go ahead and see any therapist--remember that you don't have to tell them everything on the first day. Spend some time finding out whether this is the sort of person you can work with first, and then go for it.

[Baby T]

I've told two therapists. Both good experiences. One, who I'm in therapy with now, is actually a specialist is sex issues, is kinky herself, and knows all about infantilism--that's partly why I chose to go to her. I mentioned I was an AB the first time I called her on the phone, and she found it totally unremarkable; she's had a bunch of other clients and friends who were infantilists, no big deal. She's been fantastic.

What is the name of the therapist you see now? I have not had the best experience telling my last therapist and would love to find a good one.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Never been to a therapist, however I would imagine the standard response would be regression.

[aarondiaperboy]

I wouldn't dare tell my parents, that's why I tell my therapist. Even so, it was difficult, because, I thought he was going to dismiss me as silly. Sometimes we are surprised with the way people reply. You really never know how it will work out. But, what I do in my place is my business, but hopefully that won't hurt any future relationships with persons that have that knowledge.

[Guest Pizaz]

I told a therapist when I was about 17. He didn't find it to be a big deal, and even helped put it in perspective ("It's only one part of you.") We explored why I might have these desires, and the general consensus was the trauma of my parents' divorce when I was only 3 months old (though how can you really prove that?).

[jessm5]

I'm wondering, for all those who've told their therapist, did you know what were you hoping to accomplish by telling your therapist? Were you looking for reasons why you like to wear? Or was it causing stress in some part of your life (like relationships) or was it mainly that you were looking for a sympathetic listener? (If you don't want to share, it understandable).

I don't have a therapist, but I've been thinking about going for a couple of issues. Among the issues is striking a balance between AB/DL side and the rest of my life. But the thing is that I'm not sure what I want the therapist to do for me. I mean, I'm not looking for approval or anything, I'm not looking for a psychological explanation, and I doubt he/she would have a solution to my relationship conundrums. But on the other hand, it would be nice to talk about it with an unbiased, non-judging bystander.

[sarah_ab]

i was actually reading an interesting article just the other night, on the issues therapists face when treating a person with a fetish.

If you are seekng treatment and one of the issues/reasons for seeking treatment deals with some aspect of your diaper wearing or ab play etc.. do some research and find a therapist who has worked with people with fetish's before.

even though you may not consider this a fetish, it is considered by most professionals as such, and having someone who has had experience treating individuals with fetish's mean that first they will have 'heard it all' so you might not have to do as much 'educating' and they will have experience with the issues that surround people with fetish's in general..

theres nothing wrong with calling around to find a therapist who has experience with your issues.

[Guest Pizaz]

I'm wondering, for all those who've told their therapist, did you know what were you hoping to accomplish by telling your therapist? Were you looking for reasons why you like to wear? Or was it causing stress in some part of your life (like relationships) or was it mainly that you were looking for a sympathetic listener? (If you don't want to share, it understandable).

I don't have a therapist, but I've been thinking about going for a couple of issues. Among the issues is striking a balance between AB/DL side and the rest of my life. But the thing is that I'm not sure what I want the therapist to do for me. I mean, I'm not looking for approval or anything, I'm not looking for a psychological explanation, and I doubt he/she would have a solution to my relationship conundrums. But on the other hand, it would be nice to talk about it with an unbiased, non-judging bystander.

It was so long ago, that I can't exactly remember why I brought it up. I know I initially went to him for other reasons, but it just kind of came up. I had to explain it to him a bit, which was awkward, but once that was over it was nice having someone to talk to about it whom I felt comfortable discussing it with.

[Brandon Ward]

I don't have a therapist here on daily diaper I haven't

[Firefly 35]

If you want to tell someone about your diapers, a therapist would probably be the best person to talk to since they are legally required to not tell anyone else anything you tell them.

[Brandon Ward]

I will tell new2dl here on daily diaper about my diapers and issues

[John73]

I can't exactly relate to the topic as I'm forced to wear diapers due to being incontinence, although I have been visiting therapist pretty often back in the days when I was feeling depressed and frustrated because of people learning that I'm incontinent and mostly because I was sure that I will be fully incontinent for life. This thing really got me in a pinch, but my therapist helped me get out of it. We talked about diapers a bit back then, she said that by the way she find people who wear diapers even if they doesn't as interesting. Truth be told she said that any of her patients wasn't wearing diapers, although she heard about it from her colleagues so she asked me questions if I like it etc. Back then I said that I hate it, but after getting used to eat and letting my frustration go, I would probably say that it's actually a really nice feeling and maybe even mildly suggest to try this as well

[Brandon Ward]

I haven't talked to new2dl about my diapers and issues yet because she hasn't been on here since September 1

[Firefly 35]

Have you tried pming her?

[Brandon Ward]

No I haven't tried pming her