Time To Admit It.....

[babyfur]

After years of trying to convince myself that I was NOT gay, I was bi I finally came to acceptance with the idea that I am in fact gay. I've kind of had a problem with internal homophobia directed more at myself than anyone else. My parents raised me up believing that homosexuality was immoral and that attitude has stuck with me a long time. I've finally overcome it with the help of my friends and a therapist. I trained myself to like girls because it was considered normal but in reality I was pretty shallow as far as females went, if you didn't look good you didn't even rate a second glance, guys on the other hand I looked at personality, was he a good person, sense of humor, did he have a mean streak?

The relationships I had with females well, they felt kind of hollow and fake like I was playing a role in a movie. Sometimes I felt like I would look up and see the camera crew off to the side or something. With my bf's though... it felt real like I was going out with someone for the first time it was incredible. Every moment spent with them was paradise even if it was just sitting in class together. Being around them was enough for me you know? I just passed this off by saying I was bi with a preference for males, and denied being gay for a long time but now I've accepted it and you know what? I feel at peace like a huge weight has been taken off me.

Not sure why I'm saying this here just trying to make it real by saying it out loud I guess.

[DailyDi]

Thanks for sharing that with us; very brave of you. I hope you can enjoy more rewarding relationships now knowing which ones can be real for you!

[Bettypooh]

I'm glad you've found settlement of what was an issue in your life. Let it bring you the peace that was lacking before You know, you really don't need to or have to box yourself in with labels. Just be yourself and keep your mind open I'm not gay(or am I?) but I am TG, being born in a male body but with mostly female feelings. Like you most of my admittedly few relationships with women felt hollow, as if the sex was fun but would they love me as much if they knew everything about me? I never chanced that because I always found strong indications that they wouldn't I've been strongly attracted to two men, and had they chased me they wouldn't have had to chase long to get me but I wasn't their type so nothing ever happened. In fact I'm nobody's 'type' really. Women don't like me as a potential mate though we make good friends. Men don't like me because I'm not a woman. Lesbians don't like me because they think I'm some kind of imposter wannabe. Gays don't like me because I'm so feminine inside. Bi's don't like me because I'm neither male or female except body-wise. Some TG's have been attracted to me and vice-versa but it was never mutual

I don't label myself anymore, and if I must then I say that I am asexual(no sexual attraction to anyone)because that's closest to the truth. Sex matters little to me and if I never got laid again I could still be very happy just to have everything else with the right partner. And because I know that so few people would seek me for a potential mate I no longer eliminate half my options by seeking sex with one or the other. Instead I'm looking for love from whoever has it for me and in whatever package it comes in be it male or female or both or neither. I won't let anyone's label tell my heart where it belongs and I'll accept love from whoever and wherever I find it without limitation. Maybe someday I will find it but so far it's and endless search for me

Be who you are because there's nothing wrong with that, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

Betypooh

[redneck diaper boy]

I use to feel differently about gay people but science skewed my opinion. At one time, I believed one could choose their own sexual preference. I was wrong.

A TV documentary showed physical differences in the brains of gay people. They showed MRIs and brain scans of straight and gay people. It was quite enlightening.

I am convinced that being gay is something that nobody has any control over.

[beallucanb]

I happy you came to the realization now, I made excueses, and denied who I was my whole life, it has only been recently I realized what a waste my life has been.

Like you I was alwys happy just to be with the guys, but none of them ever knew just how much I liked being with them, because when I was younger you were an outcast if any one knew you were gay.

I only wish I had the courage to admitt I was gay back then, my life would have been much happyer and I wouldn't be a lonely old guy now.

[DailyDi]

I use to feel differently about gay people but science skewed my opinion. At one time, I believed one could choose their own sexual preference. I was wrong.

A TV documentary showed physical differences in the brains of gay people. They showed MRIs and brain scans of straight and gay people. It was quite enlightening.

I am convinced that being gay is something that nobody has any control over.

I saw a similar program, was very interesting. Seems we really can't help what pushes our buttons (from sex and kinks, to ice cream flavors.)

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

I'm glad you are able to accept who you are. I'm sure you feel better now.

Yes, I believe that not only is being gay biological, it can also be hereditary. There were previous gay relatives, but nothing was ever talked about. My family is pretty much conservative, except for my parents on down. My husband and I are the most liberal of them all, so we've been told many a times.

My eight-year-old is gay, and I'm cool with it. She is also involved with another girl who has the same feelings, and thankfully, her parents have no issue with it. So, both of them can live happy and be who they are.

I'm glad you discovered the true you.

[Bettypooh]

... Seems we really can't help what pushes our buttons (from sex and kinks, to ice cream flavors.)

LOL! I wonder why the obvoius doesn't always register with people Of course you can't control your likes or dislikes even if you understand them and can explain them to others

Ice cream flavors is my favorite allegory for this subject Everybody likes different ones best and that's perfectly OK, right? You don't pick which one you like best, you just like it better and you know that, right? So why is anything else you like any different? You can choose to eat your favorite flavor or not, or you can choose to not eat ice cream at all, but you can't choose not to like your favorite flavor best because you aren't given that choice Just go and enjoy the ice cream before it melts and don't worry if someone else's favorite flavor is different than yours. They didn't have a choice about it either!

Bettypooh

[babyfur]

I use to feel differently about gay people but science skewed my opinion. At one time, I believed one could choose their own sexual preference. I was wrong.

A TV documentary showed physical differences in the brains of gay people. They showed MRIs and brain scans of straight and gay people. It was quite enlightening.

I am convinced that being gay is something that nobody has any control over.

I saw something like that, supposedly gays respond to male pheromones like females do. Which definitely lends support to the biological theory. This was to help me build up my courage as, I'm nervous about coming out to my friends even though they were ok with me being bi. I had my car trashed once, windows smashed, paintjob keyed and anti gay slurs painted on it because I was at a restaraunt in the "gay part of town" and I'm still leery of being to obvious about my sexuality. If you're going to pull that sort of stunt at least grow a pair and say it to my face!

[ColinDL]

It's an interesting theory.

There's also that old thing about boys who are mothered way too much turn gay as no woman meets their standards, but I really don't believe any of the old Freudian crap.

As a guy of "questionable" sexuality, I don't know how much I put into these theories. It makes no sense when considering "Gay Phases" that a lot of people go through, surely your brain doesn't get that messed up in puberty?

[leafy kille]

I'm glad you've found settlement of what was an issue in your life. Let it bring you the peace that was lacking before You know, you really don't need to or have to box yourself in with labels. Just be yourself and keep your mind open I'm not gay(or am I?) but I am TG, being born in a male body but with mostly female feelings. Like you most of my admittedly few relationships with women felt hollow, as if the sex was fun but would they love me as much if they knew everything about me? I never chanced that because I always found strong indications that they wouldn't I've been strongly attracted to two men, and had they chased me they wouldn't have had to chase long to get me but I wasn't their type so nothing ever happened. In fact I'm nobody's 'type' really. Women don't like me as a potential mate though we make good friends. Men don't like me because I'm not a woman. Lesbians don't like me because they think I'm some kind of imposter wannabe. Gays don't like me because I'm so feminine inside. Bi's don't like me because I'm neither male or female except body-wise. Some TG's have been attracted to me and vice-versa but it was never mutual

I don't label myself anymore, and if I must then I say that I am asexual(no sexual attraction to anyone)because that's closest to the truth. Sex matters little to me and if I never got laid again I could still be very happy just to have everything else with the right partner. And because I know that so few people would seek me for a potential mate I no longer eliminate half my options by seeking sex with one or the other. Instead I'm looking for love from whoever has it for me and in whatever package it comes in be it male or female or both or neither. I won't let anyone's label tell my heart where it belongs and I'll accept love from whoever and wherever I find it without limitation. Maybe someday I will find it but so far it's and endless search for me

Be who you are because there's nothing wrong with that, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise

Betypooh

i am truley touched by that, it is such a sad state of afairs when somone thinks that no one can love them, i sympathise entirely since i never want kids and have little to no interest in sex, in the common terms, im not realy interested in gay or straight sex, but nappy sex... i duno... plus im seriously fussy about personality in any potential partner, i have come to accept i am likley to die a virgin.

[beallucanb]

i am truley touched by that, it is such a sad state of afairs when somone thinks that no one can love them, i sympathise entirely since i never want kids and have little to no interest in sex, in the common terms, im not realy interested in gay or straight sex, but nappy sex... i duno... plus im seriously fussy about personality in any potential partner, i have come to accept i am likley to die a virgin.

You sound just like me, and for me I don't see any changes comming.

[nappyboymids]

I'm glad you've come to terms with who you are too - whether you come out early or late it's a relief and although it's sometimes the case that people have bad reactions from their friends I think generally things are getting easier, at least in Europe - north America seems to vary a lot more ...

I've always been a bit suspicious of the biological theories though - (a) because in the future this means that things might be 'bred out' - and, as I'm really happy with who I am and also think of the contribution lesbians and gay men make to society in part because of their sexuality, that would be a bad thing and ( because we're in danger of explaining away everything biologically - crime, obesity, alcoholism etc. - and, in my view, we are responsible for our own actions and should carry at least some of the responsibility for what we do even if, by some accident of nature, we have to cope with difficulties. A big part of who we are results from our facing difficult situations - if we remove them all, no matter how wonderful that sounds, the human race will be impoverished. But that's got away from the point really!

Good luck!

[beallucanb]

I think if we could be just be who we are, and not have to worry about what someone else thinks we should be, life would be alot better for everybody.

What gets me is, who the hell made up these rules anyway, telling me I have to marry this girl to be happy, and have 3 or 4 or 8 kids, and be up to my neck in debt for the rest of my life.

I never wanted any of that, but that was what was being pushed at me by everyone I knew, no wonder were confused when we were young.

I did my best, but because I don't want any of that, there must be something wrong with me, right now I would just like to meet a guy and live the rest of my life happy, instead of hideing who and what I am.

[diapertime42]

>>The relationships I had with females well, they felt kind of hollow...<<

Well, Of COURSE they felt HOLLOW!!! You couldn't get your willie in there if they weren't HOLLOW!!!

(Sorry, I just couldn't resist!)