Corrupt-a-wish

[kasarberang]

On 8/9/2019 at 3:53 AM, Firefly 35 said:

Granted, both pineapple and pizza have ceased to exist.

I wish I had a life that was awsome.

Granted your life will now be awesome according to Kim Jong Un's definition of awesome.

 

I wish every attractive women between the ages of 18 and 35 I met who I wasn't related to had huge tits and wanted to breastfeed me and force me to be their baby.

[Warmwetandcozy]

granted you've been brest fed so much you weigh 1000lb your lactose intolerant and no woman can lift you up to change your messy diaper 

I wish I could turn my brain on and off 

[Firefly 35]

Granted.  The on switch is in your brain which is currently off.

I wish people would not drive actual cars the same way they drive go-karts.

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted. People drive go-karts but are stuck on a small go kart track only around the block.

I wish I owned a dragon.

[Warmwetandcozy]

Granted but its a firebreathing dragon and your house is full of tnt 

I wish I was king of the world 

[Sarah Penguin]

22 minutes ago, Warmwetandcozy said:

Granted but its a firebreathing dragon and your house is full of tnt 

I wish I was king of the world 

You're king of the world but as soon as you are crowned King Gadorah eats your planet whole.    

I wish I were spookier.

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted but you are now terrified of yourself

I wish i was taller.

[Sarah Penguin]

17 minutes ago, Baby_Girl_J said:

Granted but you are now terrified of yourself

I wish i was taller.

Granted by putting you on the rack for the rest of your days!

 

I wish for Squirrel Girl to hang out with me.

[kasarberang]

On 10/19/2019 at 5:01 PM, Sarah Penguin said:

Granted by putting you on the rack for the rest of your days!

 

I wish for Squirrel Girl to hang out with me.

Granted Squirrel Girl hangs out with you, but only so you can accompany her on highly-illegal high-risk nut heists.

I wish more places were more accessible to the vision and hearing impaired.

[BabyJune]

On 10/24/2019 at 12:51 AM, kasarberang said:

Granted Squirrel Girl hangs out with you, but only so you can accompany her on highly-illegal high-risk nut heists.

I wish more places were more accessible to the vision and hearing impaired.

GRANTED. The Department of Motor Vehicles is now giving written driver exams in Braille.

I wish the DMV gave psychological and aptitude tests as well. It would get about 85% of the drivers off the road.

[Warmwetandcozy]

Granted your but its illegal to pass a pedestrian so your stuck 

I wish people had a mute button 

 

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted but now you have are also mute and can't be turned back on

I wish i was rich

[BabyJune]

Your name change has been approved. You are now known as Rich...but you still don't have enough money. I wish we could go back to July.

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted but its July 2nd 1863 and you are in the middle of the battlefield in Gettsyburg

I wish i owned Disney land.

[Firefly 35]

Granted, you now own Disney land and a $10 billion loan.

I wish I had a army of stuffies.

[Sarah Penguin]

2 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

Granted, you now own Disney land and a $10 billion loan.

I wish I had a army of stuffies.

Granted you have an army of stuffies but they report you for crimes against the military code and are after your court martial confined in the least stuffie friendly stockade in the world forever.

 

I wish for the food based superpower to make anything using telekinesis.

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted but now you make everyone turn into food.

I wish I had 1000 puppies.

[Firefly 35]

Granted, you have 1000 puppies that are not house trained.

I wish I had a gallon of ice cream.

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted but now your head is stuck in a gallon of ice cream, you are freezing and suffocating to death.

I wish I could fly.

[Firefly 35]

Granted.  You now have a ticket to go hang gliding off of the Grand Canyon.

I wish the world had a reset button.

[Shotgun Diplomat]

Granted. It is once again the Cambrian Explosion.

I wish that the ocean was never stormy.

[Bumble_Bee_J]

Granted, the ocean is never stormy again but to balance it out, you have a storm cloud follow you everywhere.

I wish it was Christmas every day!

[kasarberang]

13 hours ago, Bumble_Bee_J said:

Granted, the ocean is never stormy again but to balance it out, you have a storm cloud follow you everywhere.

I wish it was Christmas every day!

Granted, but because Christmas is everyday it's lost all joy and meaning. Also a ton of people lose their homes trying to keep up with the gift-giving.

I wish good looking well made 2D animated shows and movies became common place again.

[PupLuther]

Granted, but now these kinds of shows and movies are the only forms of digital media available.

I wish all of the human-race had only one gender/sex so we wouldn't have to worry about LGBT+ rights or sexism.

[Firefly 35]

Granted, everyone is intersex and gay.

I wish for a cat.