Corrupt-a-wish

[horrorfan]

Granted, but you are only allowed to ever play one video game.

I wish I could fly for free.

[Mars.inDiapers]

Granted, you're a mosquito now.

I wish I got a pay raise at work.

 

[horrorfan]

Granted, but in an unforeseen turn of events you also get fired.

I wish country music was discontinued.

[Bonsai]

Granted, now all music except Chinese traditional violin music has been forbidden by the new wordwide Far East "Democracy" that rules the world.

I wish we could have at least 15 hours of sunlight per day through the whole year and not just in Summer.

[TheCormac]

Granted but now it's a steady 62° C every day, there is no snow and no watwr anymore.

I wish I always remembered my key

[horrorfan]

Granted, but now you always forget your wallet.

I wish that it was always dark outside.

[foofybabykitten]

Granted, the sun has ceased to exist and the earth has froze over, all life has died off.

I wish I could stay awake an indefinite amount of time without any negative repercussions for my body or mental state. 

[horrorfan]

Granted, but you are without internet and very very bored.

I wish I weren't such a lightweight. 

[Firefly 35]

Granted.  You are now a heavyweight wrestling champion.

I wish certain people had a mute button.

[horrorfan]

Granted, but they also have a rewind button, which makes you jealous as you do not have one.

I wish that I could write some good horror stories.

[Bonsai]

Granted, but all the stories you write do later come true with you or the ones you love in the roles of the victims.

I wish that all crimes against property could receive instant punishment from Someone above in the form of a sudden, unavoidable folgoration.

[horrorfan]

Granted, but you are personally in charge of filing all the paperwork for each and every punishment doled out.

I wish bananas grew in my jungle.

[TheCormac]

They do, but they're all diseased and rotten and inedible.

I wish I didn't need caffeine to wake up.

[Bonsai]

Wish granted, now you suffer of insomnia and don’t sleep at all at night.

I wish that all the things John Lennon sang in Imagine could come true.

[horrorfan]

Granted, but only for five minutes.

I wish someone would make a really good movie about a necromancer who must battle the good guys (from the necromancer's perspective, making him the protagonist).

[Bonsai]

Wish granted, the movie is made and is really well made but then it never get released to public.

I wish women would lay eggs like birds and not like mammals.

[horrorfan]

Granted, but this is in a parallel universe and you are stuck in this one.

I wish I had a pastry. 

[foofybabykitten]

Granted, however the pastry is a grass hopper jelly scone.

I wish I could read minds.

[sonofninasayers]

Wish Granted, But you don't like what most people really think

I wish to spend the day and see the world from a 2 year old's Point of view 

[TheCormac]

Granted, but the entire day you have you have diarrhoea and are vomiting constantly so... you don't really get to do anything other than throw up all day.

I wish that my fridge would always be full of food.

[Mars.inDiapers]

Granted. It's all fresh, tasty and nutritious. And you're highly allergic to all of it.

I wish my diapers never leaked.

 

[horrorfan]

Granted, but you can never take it off.

I wish the daylight hours were shorter.

[Warmwetandcozy]

Granted but the lights run 24/7

I wish I could turn my bladder control off like a tv 

[horrorfan]

Granted, but you don't get to wear diapers.

I wish I could cook.

[Bonsai]

Granted, but the trade-off is that all all ingredients except broccoli, dog meat and cabbage become forever unavailable.

I wish I could walk into and out of power plugs and transfer myself through power cables at light speed.