Corrupt-a-wish

[Firefly 35]

Granted, but the magic only lasts for 0.01 seconds.

I wish for good weather all year round.

[RambleLamb]

Granted, but the "good" weather being chosen is what's good for penguins, enjoy your Arctic Summer!

I wish I could put my mind now into my body at any given point in my own history so I could say the things I never thought of in the past

[Infantwish]

Granted, however everytime you do your body switches to some extinct language that nobody can understand.

I wish I wasn't a coward.

[RambleLamb]

Granted but you're now brash and off putting to everyone you meet.

I wish every holiday was Halloween!

[Infantwish]

Granted. You're not allowed to participate though.

I wish diapers were socially acceptable.

[RambleLamb]

Granted but the "diaper craze" leads to the downfall of society within five months of starting

I wish I had a nursery

[Infantwish]

Granted. You are now the bankrupt owner of a nursery and have to take care of over 100 orphaned children. Good luck.

 

I wish I could control minds.

[RambleLamb]

3 hours ago, Infantwish said:

Granted. You are now the bankrupt owner of a nursery and have to take care of over 100 orphaned children. Good luck.

 

I wish I could control minds.

100 dead orphans, huh? That's gonna hurt my karma score.

Granted but the power to control the minds of others makes you unable to control your own mind and you either go totally insane or regress to a newborn mindset, which ever one is funnier.

I wish I could ride in carts and strollers in stores and at amusement parks

[Infantwish]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

100 dead orphans, huh? That's gonna hurt my karma score.

Granted but the power to control the minds of others makes you unable to control your own mind and you either go totally insane or regress to a newborn mindset, which ever one is funnier.

I wish I could ride in carts and strollers in stores and at amusement parks

Granted, nothing happens because you already technically can, it's just really humiliating.

 

I wish I didn't have adult responsabilities

[RambleLamb]

Granted but you now have dog responsibilities and must do dog stuff forever

I wish I had light up shoes that made squeaky sounds when I walked

[Infantwish]

Granted. They are permanently literally nailed to your feet.

 

I wish the world looked more anime

[RambleLamb]

Granted, enjoy having nosebleeds every time you get aroused!

I wish I had the power of flight

[Infantwish]

Granted. You can now fly so long as you are inside you closer in your own home. 

 

I wish I had the power to manipulate time at my every whim

[RambleLamb]

Granted, but only in one second increments and only forward

I wish I had a lifetime supply of candy!

[ssmithdl]

Granted, you now have a lifetime supply of Halloween candy corn!

I wish I could talk to animals.

[RambleLamb]

Granted but they use a different dialect and judge you harshly.

I wish I wasn't scared of spiders

[Infantwish]

Granted. You are now scared of everything but spiders.

I wish the universe had infinite supplies and all needs were satisfied

[RambleLamb]

Granted, the universe next to this one is set forever!

I wish I could go to the movies and have the theater to myself

[Firefly 35]

Granted.  Theater-to-yourself tickets are now on sale for as low as $19.99*

*Seats and a screen sold seperately.

[RambleLamb]

2 hours ago, Firefly 35 said:

Granted.  Theater-to-yourself tickets are now on sale for as low as $19.99*

*Seats and a screen sold seperately.

PSSSST! *whispers* You have to wish for something to keep the game going, ya dingle.

[Firefly 35]

1 hour ago, RambleLamb said:

PSSSST! *whispers* You have to wish for something to keep the game going, ya dingle.

That wish must have gotten (digitally) corrupted faster than I thought.

Anyhow, I wish that my stress would not go to infinity and beyond every day.

[RambleLamb]

Granted, your stress level is at permanent zero but you are a mindless zombie now.

I wish people in the world were nicer to each other 

[Infantwish]

20 hours ago, RambleLamb said:

Granted, your stress level is at permanent zero but you are a mindless zombie now.

I wish people in the world were nicer to each other 

Granted. Earth now has a grand population of 2 so everybody in it HAS to be nicer to survive. Congratulations you just ended the world.

 

I wish to have neverending motivation to write.

[RambleLamb]

Granted, you now write all over any blank surface whenever possible. The police and Interpol continue the search for the "I'm a big babby" street artist.

I wish exotic pets were legal to have

[Firefly 35]

Granted, but only if they eat you within 24 hours.

I wish time would stop and let me catch up.