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Whats It Like To Be Incontinent?


Guest amber20

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I am a life long urinary incontinent and in my sixties. First lets just say it's a pain in the butt. Imagine the only time you don't have a diaper on is when your sitting on the pot for a number two or in the shower. It's hotter then blue blazes and you dying from heat rash caused from the diapers with the itching and burning driving you nuts but you can't escape or get any relief by going without a diaper for a while.

You have to lug a bag with changes in it with you every where you go and dodge the inevitable questions about whats in it. If you use cloth diapers at night like I do there is the constant laundry to do.

You only wear black or dark colored pants so that if you spring a leak it won't show as bad and trust me you will have leaks regardless of how careful you are.

You go broke buying diapers by the case and at around a seventy to one hundred dollars a pop and with having to change three or four times a day it adds up real fast.

At some point you get worn out with the diapers and decide to try caths, After a year or so of constantly cathing every day the scar tissue builds up in your urethra so bad that the pain and bleeding become unbearable not to mention the UTI's that really kick your butt so it's back to diapers.

And thats just with bladder control issues, imagine if you have bowel problems also.

I your a DL and wish to be inco then think about it some more because it's not going to be like you think it is.

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At some point you get worn out with the diapers and decide to try caths, After a year or so of constantly cathing every day the scar tissue builds up in your urethra so bad that the pain and bleeding become unbearable not to mention the UTI's that really kick your butt so it's back to diapers.

why not use external catheters?, they wouldn't bother the urethra

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why not use external catheters?, they wouldn't bother the urethra

If you ever use for or a long period of time you will find out why

they glue on to your body and can cause sores which take for ever to heal they always blow off if the line is not sitting right and pressure builds up even the best bag wil leak for no reason.

they are not the answer many use to think they were years ago

and in most case you still need the diapers and many are dual incontance so you still have to have protection on

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I can't imagine it can be fun, dragging all the stuff around and telling people you are incontinent and have to change all the time. It can't be that much fun, but good thing there is a fetish for this. IT might be able to help you cope with it. Good thing we have great understanding people, but there is always someone who destroys the fun. If you want to know what it's like to be incontinent. Try wearing diapers all the time full time in public and carrying stuff with you. You will see it's a hassle. Atleast chicks can carry pocket books and deal with it, For men it's a lot harder

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I can't imagine it can be fun, dragging all the stuff around and telling people you are incontinent and have to change all the time. It can't be that much fun, but good thing there is a fetish for this. IT might be able to help you cope with it. Good thing we have great understanding people, but there is always someone who destroys the fun. If you want to know what it's like to be incontinent. Try wearing diapers all the time full time in public and carrying stuff with you. You will see it's a hassle. Atleast chicks can carry pocket books and deal with it, For men it's a lot harder

Women have to deal with the same stuff - diapers, wipes, rash creams, diaper disposal, diaper bags, needing a change at a bad time, leaks, embarassment if there's leaks/smells, and spending the money for all this stuff whether women want to or not, just like men.

So tell me, how is it harder for men?

~ Moogle

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At least chicks can carry pocket books and deal with it, For men it's a lot harder

I think he's just saying that if you need to change when you're out, women have an obvious place to stash their supplies. For guys, it's more awkward carrying a backpack, duffel bag, diaper bag, etc. with you everywhere, and then into the restroom. That's a valid argument, but an overall small piece of the pie. I don't wear enough that I've ever been at a friend's house and needed to change myself in their bathroom, but in that case, having a spare diaper and some wipes in a purse would certainly be more discrete.

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Really, no one gives it a second look if a man takes a sports bag or a backpack into the restroom either. Maybe some men feel more self-conscious about it, but it's not "harder" in an objective sense.

Me, I always carry my wallet and keys and cell phone and a few other things in a fanny pack, which is just big enough to fit a rolled-up diaper into when I'm going to be away from home long enough to need a change. So no self-consciousness for me! Until I carry the huge wet diaper out of the stall and put it in the trash, that is. :)

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Really, no one gives it a second look if a man takes a sports bag or a backpack into the restroom either. Maybe some men feel more self-conscious about it, but it's not "harder" in an objective sense.

Exactly the point i was trying to make :P Thanks enfant.

~ Moogle

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Funny I used to take my diaper off in the stall, retrieve the new one from the back of my jacket (Sandwiched between my back and jacket, elastic waist) then I would hang the diaper buy one end and give it a quick yank/pop and the diaper would empty into the toilet leaving just the outside plastic, it rolls up really small then put it in a pocket and throw away the plastic later. Course that did make a funny sound when it hit the toliet. Just did that in Emergencys though when it was really public.

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  • 2 weeks later...

hi all - i have a unique situation coming up that I am thinking about letting it make me temporaily incontinent. At 55 yrs old, a colonoscopy is a standard thing for all of us. This will be my first one ever. I understand that the doc does put you out to do the procedure. I am wondering if on 'waking' of it would be possible to 'lose' function in bladder and anally. Any thoughts? My wife would be around though and she is not into this fetish. Maybe that way, although accidents would happen, I could get diapered for at least a night. Any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks all and happy wetting.

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I don't understand why so many AB/DLs wish they were incon. Those who are lucky to not be incontinent have the freedom of choice. If you're not in a position where wetting or messing yourself is suitable (which is pretty much everywhere on the planet), you can hold it. Be thankful that you can hold it! Now, I know babies are practically incontinent as they haven't learned that they can control it, yet. That's why babies are so expensive. Anyone who has kids knows how many diapers a baby will go through. My mom had triplets when I was 15...THAT's a lot of diapers. Just be happy with wearing in leisure. And be careful what you wish for.

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hi all - i have a unique situation coming up that I am thinking about letting it make me temporaily incontinent. At 55 yrs old, a colonoscopy is a standard thing for all of us. This will be my first one ever. I understand that the doc does put you out to do the procedure. I am wondering if on 'waking' of it would be possible to 'lose' function in bladder and anally. Any thoughts? My wife would be around though and she is not into this fetish. Maybe that way, although accidents would happen, I could get diapered for at least a night. Any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks all and happy wetting.

From what I know, there are two problems with that. First, you won't feel like it. Second, you will be so empty you couldn't if you wanted to. They won't even let you have anything to drink for x-hours before the procedure.

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I don't understand why so many AB/DLs wish they were incon.

Simple: We're big old bundles of cognitive dissonance who struggle with feelings of shame about wanting what we want. If you have a deeply-internalized idea that it's a terrible bad thing to wet or mess in your diapers, and you make a choice to wet or mess in your diapers anyway, then you've got a problem with your self-image. There are two ways to resolve this: Excise from your mind the idea that wetting and messing is bad... or, arrange things so that you wet or mess without making a choice. No choice, no responsibility--it's not your fault. You don't have to feel bad about yourself because you didn't make the decision.

Neurotic? You bet. But that's where it comes from. When I was younger I desperately wished to be incontinent, so I understand it. I'm mostly over it now. (Though I have to admit... if you offered me a pill that would make me a bedwetter again and didn't give me much time to think it over, I might well take the pill).

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From what I know, there are two problems with that. First, you won't feel like it. Second, you will be so empty you couldn't if you wanted to. They won't even let you have anything to drink for x-hours before the procedure.

Botox is right. I've had my second one now and even in the prep phase where you have to drink that wonderful phosphosoda, I wouldn't want to have a diaper on...ugh!!! I don't mind pooping in my diaper, but this is a totally different story!

Whe you're done, its a while before there is any need for pooping for sure...just some likely cramping due to the air introduced into your bowels by the procedure.

If you want to fake incontinence, go for it, but this is NOT a logical time for that. Hell, if you're getting ready for your first colonoscopy, I suppose you're old enough to start having urinary problems. Though at my last physical, I brought up some legitimate problems I'm having and my doc immediately started pushing toward drugs. When I said I don't want more drugs, he said 'you're not on that much now...' He then recommended saw palmetto, an herb. It just seems to me that a doctor is going to push toward treatment at all times rather than fall to dealing...'sure, use diapers...' As we hear from our incontinent friends, however, they often find the treatment is NOT better than diapers...just be prepared to have to justify yourself if you try to go the route of faking incontinence!

Good luck....

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whats it really like to be incontinent?

As as active person with no [physical] disabilities apart from incontinence, here's a glimpse into my day:

I always have to make sure I bring enough [extra] diapers with me wherever I go (e.g. to work, out with friends, on a date, to the beach, etc), so I can change when necessary (I hate it if/when I have a diaper leak in public) -- which means I'm always taking a backpack (full of diapers) with me into the bathroom & hoping that no one (i.e. friends, co-workers) is noticing how I always seem to do that. And of course, having some privacy when I have to change in a public place is not always granted (the only public washroom I ever seem to have privacy in, is the one at work. so imagine needing a change at the beach...). Dressing appropriately is another factor I always have to consider: I'm always asking myself How obvious is the crinkle and bulk of my diaper with what I'm wearing? (and I've yet to wear/use a diaper that isn't crinkly, bulky or both).

As well, there's the ever present hassle of having to adjust to the unnecessary changes (usually in absorbency) that manufacturers make to their diapers in the attempt to make a cheaper product (case in point: Tena & Attends both changed the best diapers -- in fact, Attends even took their best diaper -- the "Slip", off the [Canadian] market!!)

And let's not forget the time(s) when -- for whatever reason, I have to tell a friend, or the girl I'm seeing/dating, "I wear diapers (day & night) because I'm incontinent" And I'll tell you-- most people don't know really know what "incontinent" means, so youend up elaborating & saying something like "I can't control my pee" ... and that always goes over really well!. That's the best part right there!

I have many days when I wish I had the choice not to wear diapers....

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  • 9 months later...

well im a girl you just gotta imagine a a hole upside down and ppl are trying to keep it closed and you think they can do it so you dont mind it so it comes out and drowns all the little ppl and you cant keep the water in without the little ppl so it just comes out whenever it sees fit so basically you will need extra help keeping in the water aka diapers.and bowel inco is it basically is the same except it is poo instead of water.but thats just me and some ppl tell me often im very odd when i use that analogy to tell how it feels to be inco to me.

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Simple: We're big old bundles of cognitive dissonance who struggle with feelings of shame about wanting what we want. If you have a deeply-internalized idea that it's a terrible bad thing to wet or mess in your diapers, and you make a choice to wet or mess in your diapers anyway, then you've got a problem with your self-image. There are two ways to resolve this: Excise from your mind the idea that wetting and messing is bad... or, arrange things so that you wet or mess without making a choice. No choice, no responsibility--it's not your fault. You don't have to feel bad about yourself because you didn't make the decision.

I don't think it's so much about shame, actually. I enjoy the thought of bondage, so to me, incontinence is a kind of bondage.

To me, it's the equivilant to the idea of being caught- you both want to, and don't want to. It's the thrill.

I remember once I had a dream that there was a remote that could switch incontinent off/on. That would be cool- just to know what it felt like.

Really, what I want to try...wetting myself without realizing it while wearing Training Pants with a wetness liner. Imagine the thought- you're sitting down, relaxed, and suddenly you feel the liner tickling you. (or whatever)

Like retraining all over again. ;)

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  • 1 month later...

Hi There.............. for me is just the same thing............i have to carry a bag........with extra diapers around (4/5) during the day.........and carry them whenever I go.....!!!

As for what others said..........i to hate leaks...........hate to site and.........then realize.......that there's a small......stain of urine in the chair!!

I have no control over bladder/bowel............and sometimes..........in the most inconvinient places......it cames a poop!

Once I was in a train...... and it was sited a woman with a baby........and she said.........my baby needs a change! (it wasn't the baby!!)

It sounds to me like you induced your incontinence. You do however, not being medically incontinent, have the option to retrain and gain your continence back. Those who became incontinent due to medical issues or who were born incontinent don't have such an option. At that, you're lucky, but you're also proof that incontinence can be induced simply by wearing 24/7, and not by going through expensive, risky, and immoral medical procedures.

It seems like people who want to be incontinent look for a quick fix. Really I feel you're doing it the right way, and if you're happy being incontinent, then you can keep on doing it. I'd try it if I could afford the diapers to wear 24/7. Maybe in the future. ;)

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