Abuse?

[DailyDi]

Many folks have drawn relationships between being abused and having a diaper fetish. How has abuse affected your diaper status?

[diaperpt]

No abuse at all. I do remember wetting my bed a few times after the age of 7 - perhaps because of a move my family made at that age. I was never abused in any way about it - bed was changed, I changed my clothes and went back to bed - not comments ever.

I've read on here somewhere (I think) that sometimes people will subsitute one fetish for another - perhaps that's why I'm in diapers...

[Codymoogle]

Were you abused?

Yes - physically, emotionally, and sexually. The sexual abuse stopped early on, but the physical and emotional abuse continued until I moved out.

Was wetting/messing a stated reason for abuse?

Yes, I'm incontinent and I was hit and belittled, etc all the time over bedwetting, day wetting, and the occassional messy accidents I had. When I wet my pants, I was made to stay in them until I got a rash.

Do you feel your abuse relates to your AB/DL lifestyle today?

Yes - my abuse didn't let me grow up emotionally, and as a result I stayed emotionally young while others grew up. I need the same kind of security, love, and comfort as a chronological baby/young child.

- C.J.

[slave-wendy]

i'm an adult biological male but in my AB/DL fetish personality i'm a little girl, just about the right age to get potty-trained. During my boyhood, i lived for a while with a woman in her 40s (not related to me) who liked to take me out in public dressed as a girl in a frock and petticoats. The problem was, she wouldn't let me use a public lavatory: i didn't dare go into a gents' toilet while dressed as a girl, and she wouldn't let me go into a ladies' toilet because i might see a lady's private parts.

Several times, while i was out in public dressed as a girl, i couldn't hold my urine anymore and i wet myself ... sodden panties, sodden petticoats, urine soaking through the front of my skirt. Once, i also lost control of my bowels: i was dirty in front AND in back!

Another woman (not the one who cross-dressed me) saw me wetting myself in my panties, with the wee-wee dribbling down my bare thighs under my skirt. She came right up to me, slapped my face, and called me a dirty little GIRL! Somehow, i was extremely excited by the fact that this woman (a stranger) actually thought i was a GIRL wetting herself, not a boy wetting himself in a girl's frock.

[ridiaperboy]

No abuse at all from anyone while I was growing up. (I can't get the poll to accept the "No" to abuse answer only) I was a lucky boy!

I'd have to say it was the unconditional love that was bestowed on me that has me yearning and craving to return to the time when I was being pampered and being lavished with attention as a baby/toddler in diapers.

[Angela Bauer]

I have to agree with RiDiaperBoy: the poll would not accept just a No to abuse, so I had to also vote the other 2 questions top No.

As a child I knew my Granny, Mom and Aunt Betsy wet. When my older sis reached puberty she started wetting her bed. Same for me, and later both my kid sisters. None of us were ever teased. Every bed, even my brothers', had waterproof mattress covers. Vinyl panties of all sizes were kept ready, and stacks of gauze diapers were also always available. During the years between potty training and puberty Mom asked us to wear diapers and panties on trips so we did not need a lot of toilet stops, but that was totally voluntary. If any of us just wanted to wear a diaper at home, all we had to do was ask and Granny, Mom or eventually big sis would pin us up. Although I had often changed my two younger sisters, Mom waited until I started wetting every night to coach me how to pin my own diapers.

I did not need day diapers until I started law school, when the lectures were longer than my tiny bladder capacity. Nobody at law school teased me. In middle and high school when I was invited on a sleep-over Mom always told the other mom I was bringing my own rubber sheet and diaper bag. Before gal pals slept at my house their mom was told by my Mom about my diapers. Some of those gals wanted to try a gauze diaper and vinyl panties.

In my adult life I did not discover the AB worls until I was 26 and an associate attorney with a big firm. I married Don Davis in 1991 and he totally is supportive of my AB side. We appeared on Montel Williams Show in Feb 1992. I was made a partner of my firm in July 1993. Never has an non-AB/DL ever recognized me from all this outside AB websites. So, I have not suffered any abuse, ever. When I get spanked, it is because I love it when Don spanks me!

Baby Angel, aka Angela Bauer

No abuse at all from anyone while I was growing up. (I can't get the poll to accept the "No" to abuse answer only) I was a lucky boy!

I'd have to say it was the unconditional love that was bestowed on me that has me yearning and craving to return to the time when I was being pampered and being lavished with attention as a baby/toddler in diapers.

[Pull-ups man]

I was never abused as a child....

[willnotwill]

I believe that I was rather cruelly and arbitrarily treated as a Kindergarden student especially as the teacher busy with some other activities used to leave us in the care of a sixth grader who would do things like lock us in the closet. Couple this with the fact that they had problems with the toilets overflowing led me to all sorts of school based punishment and toilet fears.

Most of my diaper fantasies are school based.

[Knuxie Fawks]

I think I've talked about this in another post, but I was abused all my childhood, and perhaps this is a way of getting some of it back. Abuse sucks.

[robehouse]

I was never abused, but I do know other children that were. A girl that I liked was emotionally and physically abused, as were other children in her family and I think there were like ten children all together. I know she was punished for sucking her thumb when she was like nine and ten years old, since I actually saw it, but I know that the parents beat them at times and I even heard that at least one of the kids was thrown against the wall.

I think their abuse affected me more than if I had actually received the abuse myself.

[Knuxie Fawks]

I think their abuse affected me more than if I had actually received the abuse myself.

Do you have the nightmares? Do you constantly struggle to keep those painful memories behind you?

[robehouse]

Do you have the nightmares? Do you constantly struggle to keep those painful memories behind you?

No, it didn't affect me the way the actual abuse would have, but I do think about a lot. I do remember how I felt, sitting their watching the girl sucking on a pacifier as punishment, and I saw how she looked. that happened over 40 years ago, but I still have it in my memory, like a video.

[Knuxie Fawks]

No, it didn't affect me the way the actual abuse would have, but I do think about a lot. I do remember how I felt, sitting their watching the girl sucking on a pacifier as punishment, and I saw how she looked. that happened over 40 years ago, but I still have it in my memory, like a video.

It's quite traumatizing, and you have to live with it for the rest of your life. It can never be forgotten. I've tried....and I've had nightmares which caused me to have accidents in bed... Just horrible.

[dynamick]

I was abused, mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically and every other way you could probably think of.

I wet the bed from age 3 upto the age of leaving home and I still do.

Back in the 1970's and 1980's there was no one you could really talk to - my abuser(s) told me that if I said anything to anyone I'd end up in borstal or residential care. My mother was one of the abusers - hopefully she's already dead or if not, she'll die a lonely painful death - something that mirrored all of my childhood. Don't anyone DARE tell me that I should forgive......because I can never forgive her or any of those that abused me.

Why don't I do something about it now I'm an adult???? That's simple really - I don't want the one person in my family who loves me (my grandma) to understand the pain and abuse I suffered as a child. My only salvation, my only sanctuary was summer at grandma's house - and when she asked me if anything was wrong - I said no - I was too scared to say anything else. For every ounce of good that I have to this day - I can attribute it only to the love my grandma gives me. She is my world, she's 81 and when she's gone....then the shit will hit the fan.

To the question of whether my abuse is anyway related to my need for night time protection and/or my sexual arousal with nappies/diapers - I can't really answer that. Do I regress to a time when I was happy as a child - certainly not....the only time I was happy was when I was with my grandma and she treated my bedwetting with care, respect and love.

I get a sexual kick out of nappies/diapers sometimes - but other times I despise the site of them. I find them to be a means to an end, they stop the bed getting wet but also they act as a means of arousal.

I live alone, I don't ever think I'll find someone who can live with me and my "moments" from the past. One day I'll draw a line, make plans for the future without the torture of the past. But all I care about in my life are my friends online and offline the charity I raise money for and my dear grandma.

All I can say is that despite being all grown up, having the body and mind of an adult all the time - when I sleep and I have the nightmares that relate back to my childhood......and it hurts, damn it really hurts. I can't change the past and for now it stays with me - one day I'll leave it all behind.

dynamick x

[Knuxie Fawks]

I was abused, mentally, physically, sexually, psychologically and every other way you could probably think of.

I wet the bed from age 3 upto the age of leaving home and I still do.

Back in the 1970's and 1980's there was no one you could really talk to - my abuser(s) told me that if I said anything to anyone I'd end up in borstal or residential care. My mother was one of the abusers - hopefully she's already dead or if not, she'll die a lonely painful death - something that mirrored all of my childhood. Don't anyone DARE tell me that I should forgive......because I can never forgive her or any of those that abused me.

Why don't I do something about it now I'm an adult???? That's simple really - I don't want the one person in my family who loves me (my grandma) to understand the pain and abuse I suffered as a child. My only salvation, my only sanctuary was summer at grandma's house - and when she asked me if anything was wrong - I said no - I was too scared to say anything else. For every ounce of good that I have to this day - I can attribute it only to the love my grandma gives me. She is my world, she's 81 and when she's gone....then the shit will hit the fan.

To the question of whether my abuse is anyway related to my need for night time protection and/or my sexual arousal with nappies/diapers - I can't really answer that. Do I regress to a time when I was happy as a child - certainly not....the only time I was happy was when I was with my grandma and she treated my bedwetting with care, respect and love.

I get a sexual kick out of nappies/diapers sometimes - but other times I despise the site of them. I find them to be a means to an end, they stop the bed getting wet but also they act as a means of arousal.

I live alone, I don't ever think I'll find someone who can live with me and my "moments" from the past. One day I'll draw a line, make plans for the future without the torture of the past. But all I care about in my life are my friends online and offline the charity I raise money for and my dear grandma.

All I can say is that despite being all grown up, having the body and mind of an adult all the time - when I sleep and I have the nightmares that relate back to my childhood......and it hurts, damn it really hurts. I can't change the past and for now it stays with me - one day I'll leave it all behind.

dynamick x

I understand. I would never tell someone to forgive. I can't forgive my abusers. People say "forgive and forget", but if you can never forget, there's no way to ever forgive.

[Guest]

I was a 4 year old sex toy. =(

A child shouldn't know what penis tastes like!

To this day, some of my family doesn't believe me.

[storey]

I was never abused physically, but rather emotionally. My mom was more like a spy when it came to my life. I literally had NO privacy. The only time I got "me time" was at school. And even then I talked to my mom two-three times at school. If I didn't then there'd be hell to pay when I got home. (Or I'd suddenly find her at school) Similar thing when I went off to college. I'll tell you what hurt the most though...when my dad was in the hospital after having a heart attack and my mom was intentionally trying to call me when I would be in class. She called at like 2 or 3 thinking I'd be in class and wouldn't get out until like 5:30ish. A year later, I pretty much ran away from home and didn't talk to my parents for a year. I talk to them now, and see them 3-4 times a week but I will never forgive what my mom has done. She's lucky I talk to her at all.

Edit: Oh and I had a guy, whom I now have a restraining order against, threaten to commit suicide while talking to me and then later chase me through the college I went to's basketball colliseum. That was 6 years ago and I still get nightmares from it.

[crys_138]

I was abused physically and emotionally early in childhood due to the combined stigma of being one of the "smart" kids and being overweight, then I'd catch hell from my father if I didn't act like his ideal of the "perfect son." Being a transgender child didn't help matters either, it only made me more withdrawn and therefore more inviting a target for abuse. I came out to my parents at the age of five. My mother understood, but my father didn't, and would direct his anger onto me more afterward. I found out much later that the only reason I was born was to be a replacement for the son his previous wife took with her when she left him.

Eventually I was able to fight back against the children who would try to verbally and physically hurt me, and I became EXTREMELY violent as a result. Although I could physically protect myself, I had no protection from the emotional abuse other than hurting somebody so bad that they would never do it again. I tried, but I was still physically no match for my father and it continued on from him.

As a teenager, I was sexually abused by my older half-brother. I was almost asleep that night, when the sensation of him poking his way into me woke me up. It was almost like being drunk or drugged... I didn't want it to happen, but my body was disconnected from my brain. I had no control.

A year afterward, I lost my mother, the ONLY person I had growing up who seemed to have any interest in protecting me from the abuse. For the rest of my teenage years, everything went downhill. Homelessness, drugs, trouble with the law... you name it, I lived it all before I hit my 16th birthday. All but sex - even then, I had absolutely no interest in sex as a man and lacked the body parts to perform as a woman... in other words, mentally chastened by physicality.

Combined, it all haunts me and as a result, I'm too unstable to function in the real world for very long. Even though I managed to start transition to female, I know I'll never be able to complete it, since I can't hold a job and put together the money for surgery and hair removal. Therefore my AB side and the diapers give me a buffer, both physically and mentally. For a brief time, my inability to function at real-world levels doesn't matter, and I can at least emotionally be the little girl I should have been all along... the one I failed.

[b0xer21]

i can only consider myself fortunate not to have experienced some of yall's childhoods. your abusers, need an ass beating. i can't say forgive, given my lack of experience. but justice should be the main priority; all i can say is, that shit just isn't right and i'll consider myself fortunate to barge in to beat the immortal shit out of someone about to do that to a kid.

[Radioman]

I had a good childhood, but I know of several of my friends that were.

I guess I was one of the lucky ones.

[Aleia]

When I was really little, I remember feeling gross and ashamed all the time. I was very uncomfortable being alone with any man (except my relatives), and I kept having nightmares about a bearded guy undressing me and touching my diaper. That kind of stuff doesn't come from nowhere--I was probably sexually abused at some point, but my mind has seems to have shut out the specific incident, or maybe it just happened too long ago to remember. Clearly my diaper fixation comes from whatever happened back then. The idea of wearing diapers repulses me--I consider it the ultimate loss of dignity--but at the same time it's fascinating and definitely sexually arousing.

I was also abused by my classmates throughout elementary school.

Anyone who believes in forgiving abusers has probably never been on the receiving end.

[attends_99]

I was also abused by my classmates throughout elementary school.

Anyone who believes in forgiving abusers has probably never been on the receiving end.

Hear hear...I was harassed and picked on and teased relentlessly by classmates through elementary and middle school (during high school I was basically just ignored). I still have ill feelings towards those people.

[slave-wendy]

i was subjected to really vicious psychological abuse (much of it sexual, but NOT physical) during my childhood and my adolescence. During my early adulthood, i was repeatedly and maliciously abused PHYSICALLY. i still have many medical problems due to the physical abuse. And yet, i constantly brood and obsess over the tauntings i received during my childhood, whereas emotionally i've put behind me the physical abuse i received as an adult.

i've met children who have terminal cancer or other fatal diseases, and they tell me something similar. What's really horrible for them is not the knowledge that they're going to die soon, or the stigma of losing their hair (from chemotherapy) but rather the cruelty and taunts of other children.

[Daddy-Adam]

I too had a very abusive and difficult childhood, here is more about me:-

When I was born, things started to down rapidly for me. When I was less than 6mths old, my mother ran away from my father as he was a woman beater, I don’t know if he ever did anything to me as my mother won’t tell me, so I must assume that he did. I have never seen my father since, nor do I wish too. Due to parenting problems, I was placed into Foster care at a young age, and it has been an ongoing thing throughout my childhood. Sometimes mum thinks she can cope and has me home for a while and then she would get angry and have me taken back into care. As I’m sure you can imagine the sense of not being wanted was ever present. At the age of 6 my mum had a very serious motorcycle accident, she was in hospital for nearly a year and was very very ill, and she even died twice. During this time I was placed into care full time and had no access to my mother. I was placed at any foster home that would take me, and none to commit to long term, so I was always being moved about. After a year when mum was well enough to come home, social services gave me back to my mum, almost on the same day. A few of my mums friends came round a little while after and took her out for a night, a year in hospital with no R&R and she needed time off. So a babysitter was arranged and off she went, I was already in bed when he arrived (the babysitter), I was woken up from my sleep by feeling a pressure on my bed, to find him sat there, I was 7 so I had no idea of what was about to happen. After a while he made his move and I was raped, in my own bed, in my own house, very unpleasant! Of course this sent me a bit mad, not seeing my mother for nearly a year and being raped, kind of sent me off the grid. Social services were once again involved and I was taken away to a children’s psychiatric hospital. I don’t really remember much from the place because I was being medicated and spent most of the time being restrained to my bed asleep. But I am told I was there for about 8mths. Once ‘released’ I was once again placed into care, as my mother didn’t think I was stable and wouldn’t allow me home. Things were ok for a about a month or two, but then one night I was asleep in my room at the foster home and the foster dad came into the room at night to get something. I woke up and saw a figure there, and I remember wetting myself in fright. In the morning I had to explain why my bedding was all wet and the mattress stained. The foster parents were very angry and told me that “as I have acted like a baby and wet the bed, I am to be treated like a baby”. And so, I was nappied and babied, forced to use a bottle at home and humiliating me at every opportunity. My school was even told I had a medical condition that meant I had to wear; being changed at school was one of the most embarrassing things, ever.

I did of course try and tell people what was going on, but who listens to a 7yr old?? I must b making it up, obviously! So this was my first taste of being a baby. There are lots more things to say, but I won’t bore you with the details. There was an incident when my mum found out I was into nappies when I was 15. She was cleaning my room, (more like looking for something) and she found my nappy stash. Well, she went ballistic and called me a pedo and called the police. I spent 3 hours in a police station answering questions about my sexuality and my feelings towards children. I have had a very abusive past, been assaulted twice along the way and have the physical scars, but I feel that if these things hadn’t of happened to me, then I don’t think that I would be the person I am today.

[Guest SouthernRedFox]

It was a kid/teen down the street, he raped and forced me to wear diapers/maxipads/tampons.

This lasted for 6 years until he was caught raping some body else.

The reason it lasted so long was he said if I did not do it, he would do it to my brother and sister and other kids.

The damage was extreme, it still prevents me from trusting men/women. I still do not date. Or try to have relationships with women.

Thanks

Good to talk about this

I tried a shrink but it made me feel to weak