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  1. Jackie may be the character that we know the most about within her little world, but a lot of her other little "friends" are also busy getting into new and interesting (and, most of all, embarrassing) things all the time! As we start the holiday season (at least in the US - sorry if this feels untimely for our Canadian friends!), let's see what joys Thanksgiving is bringing for Baby Kori. If you aren't familiar with Kori, she is mentioned in various levels of detail in: Big Baby Steps The Haircut Pushing Boundaries I'll post the conclusion to this story the Monday before Thanksgiving! ------ The first thing Kori noticed when she was nudged awake was that her feet were stopped by something as she stretched her legs. Her eyes snapped open, but even before she did she knew enough to remember where she was and that she needed to get her head in the game right away. As if to confirm her immediate thoughts, she saw that it was her mother, or Meme, as she now called her, who had jostled her awake rather than Mummy. “Wakey, wakey, Baby Kori!” she said when she met Kori’s eyes. “Did you have a good nap, little one?” “Yeff, Meme,” she squeaked from behind her ever-present pacifier. In truth, she had not really slept all that well. Trips to Meme and Pop Pop’s house, which happened a couple of weekends a year, always promised a bit of added discomfort. In addition to the three hour drive down to Newport News spent stuffed in her restrictive car seat, she then had to sleep in the quite-uncomfortable pack n play, whose mesh sides her feet had run into moments before. The whole thing made it a little difficult to actually sleep, and especially to sleep well, since it was nowhere near long enough for her to stretch out and instead she needed to try to find sleep scrunched up into a tight ball. She never would have thought she’d long for her crib at home, but these trips had proved that it could be worse. She and Mummy had arrived the night before, as today was Thanksgiving. Her Mummy and their parents switched off with the major holidays, so this year Meme and Pop Pop were hosting Thanksgiving, and Mummy would host Christmas, and next year it would switch. So far, despite knowing it was the holiday, the morning had mostly passed pretty normally except for the extra embarrassment of having to play her baby role in front of her parents in addition to her Mummy. She’d been woken up, fed breakfast, sent off to play for awhile, and then fed lunch before being put down for the nap she was groggily emerging from. “Let’s get you a clean diaper, huh baby?” Meme said, pulling back the blanket that Kori had been nestled beneath and helping her flip over onto her hands and knees. From there, Kori put her hands on the railing of the playpen and pushed herself up, swinging her leg over the side. Meme helped guide her foot down to the floor, which was a few inches below the bottom of the playpen. Once she was down, her mother continued to hold her by the back of the arm as she shuffled a few steps over to her old twin bed, which now served as her changing table when she was at her parents’ house. “Let’s take your onesie off before you sit,” Meme cooed, reaching into Kori’s crotch and fishing around a bit until she found and unbuttoned the snaps, all the while putting enough gentle pressure on the sodden padding underneath to make sure Kori knew exactly why she was due for a diaper change. Kori more or less stood still as Meme worked the white onesie adorned with a unicorn pattern over her head, leaving her standing there with just an orange pacifier in her mouth and her drooping teddy bear printed diaper. Knowing what was expected of her, she sat on the edge of bed before swinging her legs up and situating herself on the waiting changing mat. While Meme gathered the supplies she’d need for the change, Kori had a rare moment where there was nothing expected of her. She took stock of the strange situation she found herself in. Most of the time, she didn’t really dwell on that too much anymore, but weekends like these still had enough novelty that she couldn’t help but dwell on it a little. Looking around, her room looked basically the same as she had left it when she moved out of her parents’ house a little less than 4 years ago. The only thing that really looked out of place was the playpen that she’d just been released from. Sitting on the bed waiting for a diaper change, it was clear that she was really what had changed. Even the name that she called her mother had changed. She hadn’t really realized how important the names Meme and Pop Pop would be to internalize when they were first dictated to her as a way to differentiate between Mummy, which she was now to call her sister Anna, who served as her primary caregiver, and their actual mother. However, after her first time seeing Meme and Pop Pop, she realized that failing to address them by the proper names would count as not acting like a baby and would see her behavior chart turn back to zero. Furthermore, the presence of Meme at the same time as Mummy could prove a little disorienting, and the first few times that she’d seen them she’d also mistakenly referred to Mummy as Anna, which had led to resets as well. As such, she now made every effort, even in her head, to think of her parents only as Meme and Pop Pop. It mostly worked, although they didn’t come up quite enough for it to be fully automatic for her in the same way that she now only thought of Mummy exclusively by that name. It was embarrassing to think about how regressive some of her little automations were, but it was undeniable that working to change her thinking about things like Mummy, Meme, and Pop Pop’s names in her head had helped her improve her ability to advance towards her behavior goals. Similarly, over time the ridiculous lisp that was required of her had more or less become her actual voice. She was pretty confident that she could still drop her voice to her previous octave and annunciate correctly if she were allowed to, but after about a year of needing to remind herself to move to a high pitch and lisp out her words (though her pacifier mostly took care of the latter for her), she realized one day that any time she was put on the spot to answer Mummy she could now do so without having to pay any attention to modulating her voice accordingly. While she maybe should have been concerned by that development, the reality was that she was quite pleased when she noticed, because it was one less way that she could lose her progress towards getting out of diapers and eventually out of this punishment entirely. Her reflections were interrupted by the first pass of the cold wipe across her exposed undercarriage, bringing her attention back to the immediate sensations of the diaper change that Meme was administering. She had to admit that while being wiped was embarrassingly invasive, it did give her skin a welcome break from the vaguely warm clamminess that would surely return when she inevitably started dribbling spurts into her next diaper within the coming half hour. It was only a few more seconds before Meme had doused her privates with baby powder and rubbed it in, furthering her pleasant sense of dryness for the time being. Once the new diaper had replaced the old, her mother helped her sit up again, leaving her feet dangling off the side of the bed. “Let’s get you dressed, baby!” she cooed. Kori had certainly assumed that that would be coming next, but by now she was used to the grown ups needlessly narrating what was happening as if it wasn’t usually entirely predictable. She sat patiently while Meme grabbed an outfit from the large bag that Mummy had brought with enough clothes and diapers to be sure to cover her for their two-day trip and then some. When Meme returned, she wordlessly began working a pair of white tights over Kori’s feet, eventually getting them stretched up to her lower thighs before placing her arms underneath Kori’s shoulders and gently helping her down to a standing position and finishing the job of hiking up the tights well above Kori’s diaper to at least the middle of her stomach. Next, she grabbed a black dress that Kori didn’t recognize. In fact, black was a color she very rarely wore, as most of the clothes that Mummy tended to pick for her relied on infantile pastels or girlish purples and pinks for their color pallets. Automatically, she allowed Meme to guide her arms and head through the appropriate openings. When she reemerged from the brief period of darkness within the outfit, she was better able to assess what she was wearing. It was almost entirely black, but had a white collar and white bow at the gathering point before the skirt. Meme was already returning with another garment when she looked back up, and this time she was adorned with a plain, rather old-fashioned white bonnet. Kori instinctively looked over to the mirror in the corner, and though she wasn’t fully facing it, there was no missing the effect that she was dressed like a small child in a pilgrim outfit. She blushed a little, but realistically she knew there were no outfits that could have been chosen for her that would have come anywhere close to the modest sweatshirt and jeans she’d have chosen for herself, so she didn’t spend too much time thinking about it. Now that Kori was all fixed up, Meme turned her attention to the playpen. Kori watched her bend down and remove the comforter and the pillow she’d just been sleeping with and place them at the head of the bed above. Next she reached in and carefully removed the foam mattress pad with the waterproof cover that was inserted to allow Kori to sleep in a little more comfort, dropping it atop the growing pile of bedding. Now empty, she pressed the release button and effortlessly folded the playpen into a more carryable shape. “Follow me, baby girl!” she directed Kori, who had been uselessly standing there waiting for the familiar changeover to be completed. Meme led the way out the door and into the hallway, with Kori padding along behind her as instructed. Meme and Pop Pop lived in a ranch style house, with the common areas and master bedroom on the upper floor, while Kori and Mummy’s childhood bedrooms and a bathroom took up the space in the basement that wasn’t occupied by the two car garage and the laundry/mudroom, so in just a few steps they reached the bottom of the stairs. One of the baby behaviors that Kori was required to adhere to was to always hold a grown-up’s hand and the railing when going up stairs, and to bump down stairs on her bottom, so she automatically reached out for Meme’s hand. Meme had perhaps forgotten, but when she felt Kori’s hand brush her arm, she recognized why her daughter was doing that and adjusted herself to take the offered hand. “Good girl!” she praised. “It’s always good to be safe on the stairs, isn’t it?” “Yeff, Meme,” she lisped quietly, not exactly taking the same pride her mother was at least pretending to take. They crested the stairs and turned right, where the landing area opened out to the spacious family room that had always served as the centerpiece of the house. Kori once again stood idly while Meme unfolded the playpen in the open area behind the sectional sofa. When she’d finished that, she returned to where she’d left Kori and took her hand, leading her over to the couch. For the first time, Kori noted that there was a bottle on the end table next to it. With her routine thrown off by the unfamiliar surroundings, she hadn’t really noticed that she hadn’t been fed one after her nap as she usually was, but it seemed that that was about to be rectified. Still holding Kori’s hand, Meme settled herself into a corner, then pulled the big baby down next to her. Kori automatically brought her legs up onto the couch so that she could lay across her lap, and soon her head was nestled on the padded arm of the sofa. While her legs and head were comfortable enough on the plush cushions, having her back raised across Meme’s legs rendered the overall position less than comfortable. Even as Kori adjusted herself, Meme grabbed the waiting bottle, and in just seconds she’d removed Kori’s binky and replaced it with the nipple. Kori wasn’t terribly thirsty and was no fan of the formula that she was forced to slurp down with tremendous regularity, but she certainly wasn’t permitted to politely decline, so she got to work downing her seventh bottle of the stuff so far today. As she worked her way through the bottle, Kori had a moment to settle into her surroundings. She noticed that the Thanksgiving parade was on the enormous TV on the far wall. Kori couldn’t actually see if because Meme had slightly manipulated her head so that she was facing towards her rather than the wall with the TV, and the bonnet’s slight interference with her peripheral vision was enough to ensure that the parade was nothing more than background noise. That was probably just as well, because diverting her attention towards the TV, and especially towards “grown-up” shows, when she was supposed to be busy doing even something as passive as drinking her bottle, would probably have been enough to justify a reset of her behavior chart. In their own way, the wonderful smells coming from the adjacent kitchen and dining area were nearly as distracting as the TV. In addition to the obvious smell of turkey cooking, she could also detect some rolls being cooked and other vegetables being prepared. All of it was quite pleasant, even if she knew that she’d be getting none of it, and that her replacement would be far less appealing. Having made exclusive use of them now for more than two years, Kori could now nurse down a bottle in just a few minutes, and so the feeding didn’t last very long. The downside of working at that speed was that she did take in a tremendous amount on air as she did it, and so the burping that Meme provided her with afterwards was more than welcome, even if it did come with a few little comments about how she was a gassy girl each time she let out a quick belch. “Alright, let’s go over to your playpen, Baby Kori,” Meme suggested, apparently satisfied that Kori had expelled enough of the air in her system that she wouldn’t spit up (not that that was actually much of a threat given Kori’s actual age). Kori allowed herself to be guided down from the couch to the floor, then accompanied Meme around the sofa and back across the room to the playpen, where she was helped over the nearly hip-high railings. Once she was fully inside, she lowered herself down to her knees, easily taking up half of the space in the cramped quarters she was confined to. At Mummy’s house, she did have a playpen, but it was a custom wood piece that afforded her probably 4 or 5 times as much space. Even then, most of the times that Mummy needed to confine her to a limited space because she needed to focus on work or cooking without Kori wandering too much during her play, she used a series of plastic walls/gates around most of Kori’s larger toys to create a spacious perimeter in which Kori was to play. As she settled into the tight space, Meme went across to the half wall above the stairs and gathered a few toys for Kori to attempt to entertain herself with. She returned with a pair of baby dolls, a couple dozen small baby blocks, and one of those little maze toys where you move beads over winding wires, setting them down in front of Kori. “Alright baby,” she said, “Meme needs to go help Mummy and Pop Pop finish making din-dins. You have fun in here, alright?” Meme left before Kori even had time to squeak out a “yeff, Meme,” confirming that nobody really cared whether she was actually enthusiastic about the activities she’d been left to so long as she faked it well enough. Now alone in the room, Kori briefly thought through her limited options. She knew better than to let down her guard for even a second, since, should anyone come into the room and she wasn’t actively engaged in her playing, she’d be right back to square one in her quest to earn back some of her maturity. The first thing she did, to avoid any accidental temptation, was turn herself within the playpen so that she had her back to the TV. The parade was still on, and if she wasn’t facing it, there was no way she might accidentally look up at the screen just as somebody walked in. Next, she considered her toys. At Mummy’s house, she had accumulated dozens of toys, including some quite large ones like a miniature shopping cart and cash register set, a mock kitchen, and a stroller that she could put some of her many dolls in. While they weren’t truly stimulating for her, she could jump around between them, which meant she could switch to something new when she felt her ability to actively engage with a given toy or activity waning. But Meme and Pop Pop only had a very limited selection of toys, since she was so rarely here to use them. The danger of losing focus was only heightened by the fact that she’d already spent the morning playing with these toys, and even by the end of that session she’d been mind-numbingly bored, struggling just to maintain enough focus to keep moving the beads back and forth on their predetermined routes. Opting out due to lack of interest wasn’t an option, though, so Kori decided to pick up the two baby dolls and push through as intently as possible. Most of the time that she got her behavior chart reset these days, it was because she more or less just zoned out and stopped playing for long enough that Mummy noticed that she was no longer following the instructions to play. To try to combat that, she’d been working on teaching herself to “zone in” as much as possible. To her, zoning in meant reaching a point where she was just playing with a toy without thinking about how she needed to be playing with it. This basically entailed trying to concoct some sort of compelling story in her head of what was going on with the toys that she was playing with. She was encouraged to make little squeaks and noises for her toys when appropriate, so long as they weren’t recognizable as actual words, but in her head she would provide actual dialogue to accompany the little babbles that she was making on behalf of her dolls and stuffed animals. She knew it was basically no different than a toddler playing pretend, but when she achieved something compelling enough she could actually make an entire morning or afternoon pass pretty quickly and borderline enjoyably. Besides, acting like a toddler was exactly what she was supposed to be doing, so she told herself she was just following directions. This afternoon, she decided to think of herself as the two dolls’ mother. It was an admittedly childish and unoriginal premise, but she didn’t have a lot to work with. She realized quickly that she was slightly up a dead end since she really had no other accessories for the babies to use. At home, she had a toy bottle she sometimes fed her dolls, and she’d mimic the cooing that Mummy often did to her when feeding her a real one. Combined with a burping afterwards, this could easily kill 10 minutes, but here she had nothing to use with the dolls today. Just as she was considering whether to see what numbers and letters were on the blocks, a bit of inspiration struck! Almost accidentally, she realized that both of the baby dolls’ outfits could come off. Since they were from the same set, she decided that she’d switch their outfits. There were enough pieces to the outfits that she’d surely be able to pass a decent amount of time. With some renewed enthusiasm, Kori set down the one that was dressed in a pink dress and got to work undressing the one that was in a blue outfit. This was more of a skirt and shirt combination, with a little bib as well. Kori worked off the bib first, and then the shirt. When she removed the skirt, her fingers hit the velcro on one side of the little diaper that the doll was wearing. Kori wondered if the other had a changeable diaper as well. She could swap those as well, while pretending to wipe them, and that would take even more time! Sure enough, when she had finished removing the headband, dress, and inexplicable little pants that the second doll had, it too had a changeable diaper. This was perfect! Kori took off the first one and made a show of lifting the doll’s legs. She wiped it with an imaginary wipe, making a little high-pitched mutter as she clucked in her head about how messy the doll’s bum was and what a stinky girl she was. Next, she pretended to shake some powder on the baby. At this point, she realized that if she was actually to have the dolls trade diapers, she’d need to switch to addressing the other one. “Just like your sister,” she found herself “saying” to the second doll while making a corresponding noise, “such a smelly girl.” She continued with the simulated change, grabbing the first diaper she’d removed and velcroing it onto the second doll. “Oh, are you changing your dollies’ diapers, Baby Kori?” Mummy suddenly said from behind Kori, causing her to jump a little. She hadn’t even heard her come into the room. “Yeff, Mummy,” she said. “Were they stinky babies?” Mummy asked, not at all trying to hide how patronizing she was being. “Yeff, Mummy,” Kori answered again. With Mummy standing above her while she knelt in the playpen, she felt about a foot tall, even if she was actually the slightly taller of the two. “Just like you are a stinky baby sometimes, huh Kori?” “Y-Yeff Mummy,” she squeaked a little more quietly, now staring down at the floor of the playpen with embarrassment. “That’s right! Ok, can you put your other baby’s diaper back on? We can’t have her making a mess, can we?” “No Mummy,” Kori answered, and she quickly put the toy diaper on the doll. The game wasn’t remotely fun anymore, but she wasn’t about to show that. “Alright, Baby, it’s time for your Thanksgiving dinner now!” Mummy said once the diaper had been closed up. Kori allowed herself to be helped up to her feet, almost dazed as she did. Her zoning in must have worked, as she was surprised that it was dinner time. Even though she knew this was going to be a shorter stint than she might normally have expected, it had only felt like she’d been in the playpen for a few minutes before she had been interrupted. And she’d been so immersed that she’d hadn’t even noticed Mummy coming into the room, so she was certainly glad that she’d at least been distracted by her play rather than something unacceptable like the TV. Once Mummy had helped her out of the playpen, she led her out into the kitchen. Meme was still busy cooking, but they didn’t really stop, instead proceeding through the open-concept room over to the waiting highchair that had been pulled up to the nicely-set dining table. Kori needed no further instructions, and she got up in the highchair. Much like the playpen, this highchair was not sized up the way the one she had at home was, so it was a tight fit when the tray was snapped into place. Kori was thankful that she and the family all had “skinny genes,” or else it would be a truly uncomfortable perch Mummy turned back to the table briefly, and returned with a bib, which she secured around Kori’s neck. Kori glanced down and saw that it featured a comic-style turkey, with the phrase “gobble me up” written beneath it. She always wondered where they found all of this stuff. “Pop Pop is going to come feed you while Meme and I finish up the grown-ups food, ok Baby Kori?” Mummy asked. “Yeff Mummy,” she squeaked. If she had had any choice, of course, she would have declined. This was the moment that she’d been dreading all day. Sensibly, everyone else had not eaten any lunch, but she hadn’t been afforded that option. She saw that the grandfather clock behind the head of the table read 2:30, and she could deduce that her fairly substantial lunch had only finished a little more than two hours ago. Combined with the bottle she’d had after lunch and the one she’d just been fed, she honestly wasn’t even the slightest bit hungry. She also knew that this was not going to be any ordinary dinner. Pop Pop was approaching now with a bowl that probably normally would have been reserved for serving - much larger than the cereal bowl-sized dishes that usually contained her food - and she could see that it was more or less all the way full. Over on the countertop next to the microwave, she could see the empty jars that had once held the food she was about to be fed. She saw what looked like at least 15 jars before Pop Pop got too close and she wasn’t able to see anymore, and while she hadn’t been able to make out each label’s words, she was certain she’d seen pictures indicating multiple turkey varieties, squash, peas, and carrots. Prepared individually, and with some nice seasonings, she was sure that would have made the start of a nice feast, but all blended together in a plain, liquified form, the steaming mountain of mush that was placed down on the tray in front of her was little more than a nightmare. “Alright, here comes your yummy din-dins princess,” Pop Pop said, planting a little smooch on her forehead afterwards. He was surely aware of how unappetizing the food was, but you would never know it from his tone as he plunged the spoon into the bowl. Resigned to her unpleasant fate, Kori opened up her mouth for the first bite. When the spoon dropped its load onto her tongue, it was at least as bad as she’d anticipated. It was almost impossible to describe it. In a certain way it was bland, but every flavor that there was in there was mildly bad on its own, and the mix only seemed to accentuate the worst of each. When eating other meals, she could at least kind of isolate what the vaguely gross, totally unseasoned taste was supposed to be, but with everything mixed together like this, that was impossible, meaning that she couldn’t even place what the unpleasant slop really was. She choked down the first spoonful as quickly as possible, and while she made a face, she gamely opened back up for the next one. It was best to get this over with. For a while, that kind of worked, and she built a bit of a rhythm with Pop Pop that allowed her to probably get about half way through without too much discomfort and only a pretty small amount on her lips and chin. At about that halfway point though, she became so full that she sort of hit a wall. It became harder and harder to put mind over matter and just quickly swallow and move on to the next spoonful. Around the same time, Mummy started to bring over some of the sides of the real meal and set them on the table, which briefly distracted her and caused most of a whole spoonful to end up on her face and bib rather than in her mouth. In theory, that was that much less of the terrible baby food that she had to eat, but it made Kori feel gross on the outside in addition to inside her mouth and stomach. Combined with the taunting of the actual appetizing foods being laid out in front of her, her meal suddenly became even more disgusting. Still, Pop Pop’s onslaught was relentless. Bite after bite, he cheerfully scooped even more into her mouth. Kori started to feel like even when she swallowed, there was still more of it in her mouth, though probably that was just the aftertaste coating each and every one of her taste buds by this point. After 20 minutes of completely continuous eating that felt more like an hour, she mercifully swallowed the last mouthful. She took a long, deep breath. The pressure in her abdomen was immense, as she was well beyond comfortably full. Just as she slumped back to try to find a bit of comfort, Mummy came over. “Alright, Dad, I think you’re needed for carving the turkey. I’ll take it from here,” she said. Kori couldn’t really fathom what she meant, but then as Pop Pop grabbed the bowl and walked over towards the sink, she saw that Mummy had two bottles of formula in her hands. If she didn’t know better, Kori was pretty sure she would have screamed. While they might help her to wash this putrid aftertaste out of her mouth, more of anything going into her stomach was the last thing that she wanted right now. Not to mention that the formula would just leave its own milky, almost sour aftertaste when she was finished. If Mummy had known how much Kori didn’t want those bottles, Kori was quite sure that would have only increased her resolve to give them to her. As it was, Kori was sure that she must have at least some idea of how full she was, and any attempt to put herself in Kori’s shoes would have told her just how much 16 ounces of imitation breast milk would only add fuel to the raging storm. Still, she was completely undeterred, and she strode around behind Kori, tilted her head back, and pushed the nipple against Kori’s lips. The stuffed big baby had little choice but to part her lips and start sucking. As she worked her way through the first bottle, Kori realized she needed to proceed pretty slowly. If she took in too much air, there was some actual risk this time that a burp really could bring a little bit of her food back up, and that would just be disgusting. As she did at some point each day, she found herself absolutely longing for even a bottle of water. She had literally had nothing but this formula to drink since it was first introduced on the third day of her regression, and had come to learn all of its disadvantages. Of course, the first on that list had to be the taste. Prior to this punishment, she probably hadn’t had milk in a decade, and to switch to drinking this strange version of it had confirmed that she just didn’t like it. After so long, Kori almost couldn’t taste it now if she didn’t think about it, but only almost. It also never really seemed to quench her thirst the way water could. While she was given almost a gallon of it a day, which was enough to keep her diapers absolutely soaked at most times, something about the way it was always served warm and always left a film in her mouth often seemed to make her want a drink more after she was done than she had before. And, most importantly in the current moment, it was filling and bloating. While water could sometimes help ease the feeling of a full stomach, this was only making her feel even more like she might burst out of her clothes. Eventually, Kori had made her way through the bottles, and as she lowered her head, she saw that the turkey had made its way over to the table while she’d been stuck staring up at the ceiling. The feast was complete, and perhaps for that reason, Mummy didn’t linger for a burping, or to wipe the excess food off of her face, either of which might have helped her to find a tiny bit of comfort. Instead, she quickly dashed across the room to her purse, and produced her iPad. She came back over to the table, pressing a few buttons as she did so. Approaching Kori once more, she set the device down on the tray. “Alright, baby,” she narrated. “So you don’t get bored Mummy got you a game to play while the grown-ups eat. You keep playing - I don’t want to see that screen lock or you will be in big trouble!” Kori hadn’t been assigned this task before, but instantly she knew how she’d be graded. The consequence of inactivity would be that the screen would lock, and surely when Mummy came back over and saw that, she’d find her behavior chart back at zero even before Mummy would have time to enter her passcode. With the stakes being set, Kori immediately snapped her attention to the screen in front of her while Mummy took a seat at the table. Not knowing how long the screen would stay active before it locked, Kori immediately put her finger on the touch screen and moved it around a little. Assured now that she had at least a few moments, she actually looked to see what game was in front of her. All that the title page of the app said was “Play to Learn,” with a green button underneath that said “Play,” which Kori pushed. After a second of loading, a farm scene came up, with a number of animals either right in the foreground or peaking out of pens or stables. On the side of a screen, stood a farmer. “Which animal says moo?” the farmer suddenly asked, surprising Kori a little. She hadn’t expected the game to make any noise, so even with the volume being set quite softly it had caught her off guard. After a moment’s reflection, she supposed it made sense, since the app was almost surely meant for children too young to read. She looked around quickly. Surely, the grown-ups had heard it, but they had carried on with their conversations as if it hadn’t even happened. No answer bank came up after the question, so Kori surmised that she’d need to touch the cow in the center of the screen. “Great job!” the farmer said when she did so. “Now, do you know what animal says meow?” Kori found a cat lounging by the corner of the barn, and duly selected it, once again being rewarded with the cheaply-animated farmer’s chipper praise. The pattern repeated itself. Kori hadn’t totally taken in that there were a dozen animals on the screen when she started, but even then, going through them only took a few minutes. When she finished, the farmer led her through a game where she had to match upside-down cards of the different animals. That was marginally more interesting, but with only 24 cards, it still posed basically no challenge and only took a few minutes to complete. That rolled over to a game where she was shown a group of each type of animal, and needed to select how many of them were in the group. After the counting game, she was transported to a new backdrop, and this time went through a round of games that centered on identifying, counting, and placing shapes. Before long, she reached some sort of aquarium-like world that seemed to use fish to teach colors. The way that they used the tank for a matching game was perhaps mildly more interesting than most of the others, but it still didn’t bring much to the table. When the third fish game finished, Kori was dismayed to be taken back to the farm, and the cycle began repeating again. Mercifully, the farmer at least asked about the animal sounds in a different order, but now the painfully simple questions didn’t even have novelty. Having lived through it for years without any reprieve now, she was used to being talked to and forced to engage as if she was no smarter than your average toddler, but this repetitiveness was only going to make her time pass that much slower. Looking around, she saw that the grownups were still slowly picking away at their meals, all the while chatting idly and seemingly not paying her any mind. Perhaps knowing that the screen lock could essentially monitor Kori’s effort for her, Mummy seemed not to be watching her for activity level at all. Fortunately for Kori, the game at least required a little less of her brain and attention than playing the way she was required to did, so while it was maybe even more boring, it wasn’t quite as exhausting. Even though this game was terrible, she couldn’t help but reflect on the irony of now being forced to focus on a video game, when her inability to stop doing so had been her downfall. Kori genuinely loved video games, and had been the classic “gamer girl” in many ways. In high school, she and her friends had spent many late nights exploring all of the latest releases. By college, she perhaps should have noticed signs of a problem. While she graduated easily enough, she’d skipped more classes each year to keep playing. Even some of her friends had suggested that she might want to try to lighten up on how much she played, but she’d dismissed it. When she went home after she graduated, she’d had every intention of getting a job, but then Fortnite had been released, and she’d found herself spending almost all of her time playing it and none of her time applying for things. And, since it had a phone version, she’d even played it at work during a brief period of employment at a convenience store her parents’ friends owned. She’d never fully admitted it then, but by the time that she’d peed herself a couple of times and Mummy demoted her to diapers, she did actually have a problem (not that the punishment fit the crime in her mind). Two years of digital detox had definitely changed some of the ways that she thought, but she’d be lying if she said that getting back to being able to play games (real games, not this baby stuff) was part of the reason she was working so hard to earn her maturity. Eventually, Kori sensed herself feeling more and more uncomfortable. She was still so full, and time to digest really didn’t seem to be helping at all. Beyond that, the baby food on her lips and chin was becoming increasingly dry, turning it into a caked-on crust. While it wasn’t really her fault, she felt like a disgusting slob, especially watching the others neatly eating their food with their forks and knives while occasionally dabbing their napkins to the corners of their lips. While she was incredibly full, she couldn’t help being jealous of their dining experiences. As she fought her boredom and her discomfort, she couldn’t help but wonder what was taking them so long. It seemed like they were occasionally grabbing an extra bite or two of a dish that had particularly caught their fancy, but they were mostly just chatting away while sipping their wine. Because of the volume of the game and her need to be paying at least somewhat close attention, she wasn’t really able to track their conversation too closely. What she could see from the clock was that they’d been sitting there for 45 minutes already. She suspected that she’d managed to eat more actual food in less than half the time, even if she didn’t need to do any chewing. Still, she had to endure another 15 minutes of the mindless game, going through the cycle of the worlds a couple times before Mummy, Pop Pop, and Meme finally got up with a series of groans and started to bring the dishes out to the kitchen. After the first round, Mummy came over and took a quick look at the iPad. “Oh, are you learning about colors?” she asked Kori in a thick coo. “Yeff Mummy,” Kori chirped, though of course learning wasn’t really the best word for what she was doing. “Can you show me, princess?” Kori picked out the purple fish, as the game had just prompted. “Good job, Baby Kori! I’m so proud of how smart you are!” Mummy’s syrupy praise was obviously a tease, and yet she almost delivered it convincingly enough that you’d think she actually meant it. “Now,” she continued, “I’m sure you want to keep playing, but we have a special treat for you!” Kori certainly wasn’t shedding any tears as Mummy took the iPad off of her tray and back over to her purse. However, if previous holidays were any guide, she was about to be fed some sort of dessert. And sure enough, she watched Mummy go over to the fridge and remove a pudding cup from it. Kori sighed. Holiday desserts posed a unique dilemma for her. On the one hand, the assertion that they were a treat was more or less true. While it was still always something she could be spoon-fed, it was basically the only time that she wasn’t fed actual baby food the whole year. Things like the pudding she was about to get weren’t exactly gourmet, they were so much better than she was used to. However, she was never given it at a time when she was anything less than completely and utterly stuffed. The result was that she wasn’t actually able to enjoy the indulgence she was allowed. With no option to defer, she decided to try her best to savor the pudding that Mummy was now walking over to her with. “Are you ready for some yummy pudding, sweetie pie!” Mummy said as she arrived. “Yeff Mummy,” Kori said, trying to see if sounding enthusiastic could actually make her a little more enthusiastic. Mummy plunged the spoon into the cup, stirred a bit, and then emerged with a sizable glob. Kori opened up, and in it went, though the size of the spoonful meant that a little bit hit her top lip and stuck outside her mouth. Closing her mouth around the spoon as Mummy removed it, she was rewarded with the remainder of the spoonful staying in her mouth. It was, for sure, tasty. It was so much sweeter than anything she usually got. In fact, it was the sort of sweet that only little kids really like, but since she wasn’t used to any sugar at all, it didn’t really strike her as actually being overdone the way that it immediately would have if she’d had it while eating a couple of years ago. For now though, she savored it, letting the chocolatey sweetness coat her entire mouth before she swallowed. The swallow, though, practically brought her back to reality. For one thing, Mummy already had the next spoonful on its way towards her mouth, so she needed to open back up. The quickness with which she was fed could be a small mercy when she was being fed gross baby food, but in this case it stopped any attempts to savor the treat. But with the swallow, she’d realized that maybe getting things over with wasn’t such a bad idea after all. Sure, the pudding tasted amazing by her standards, but pumping the heavy, sugary dairy product into her already full belly had been just as painful as she’d might have imagined. In fact, by the end of the cup, she was glad that it was pretty small. The sweetness of the pudding was becoming somewhat overwhelming, even if it was preferable to the runny slop she’d had an hour ago, but her stomach was so full that she felt like she might explode. Finally, mercifully, Kori was able to get back the last bite. Exhausted, she slumped back as far as the restrictive high chair would let her, enjoying the moment without her pacifier to take a couple of deep breaths. “Are you a little full in your tummy, Baby?” Mummy asked, chuckling a little. “Let’s get you something to help wash that down with. I’ll be right back.” Kori was so dismayed she almost reacted, which certainly wouldn’t have been a good idea. She couldn’t believe that they were going to give her even more milk. Surely Mummy knew that that wouldn’t help at all, right? “Here we go!” Mummy said when she returned, planting the bottle into Kori’s open mouth. Even this full, she automatically closed her lips around it. Finishing that bottle was akin to torture for Kori, but somehow she managed to slowly fight her way through it. She slurped down the last bubbly bit of the formula with a mix of triumph, relief and agony, once again opening up her mouth for some deep breaths as Mummy eased the nipple out from between her lips. “All gone! You were a thirsty girl, huh baby?” Mummy asked. “Yeff Mummy,” Kori replied obediently. She hoped to god that that required answer wasn’t interpreted as wanting more. “Yes you were! Yes you were!” Mummy cooed, getting louder and moving closer before planting a patronizing kiss on her forehead. “Let’s get you cleaned up. You were a very messy eater!” Kori was relieved to hear that she’d be getting cleaned up instead of getting anything more added to her overtaxed digestive system. Getting her face cleaned would indeed help her feel a bit better. She was quite a mess. While she couldn’t see herself, she could see that her bib was a total disgrace, with the brownish main course drying and somewhat covered by a few stray bits of pudding. Meanwhile, she could feel the dried food making a fairly wide, crusty ring around her mouth, plus globs of fresher, thicker pudding on both her upper lip and chin as well. She could even feel a drop or two of milk that had leaked out from the corners of her mouth during her latest bottle. Mummy walked away briefly, depositing the bottle in the sink before heading over to her purse once more. This time, she returned with a travel packet of baby wipes. Taking one out, she somewhat brusquely took it to Kori’s face. Apparently, she needed to scrub a little to get all of the drying food off. After a second wipe that seemed to Kori to be more akin to a rinse than the initial scrubbing, she did finally feel a little fresher. “There we go, allll better!” Mummy exclaimed, placing the dirty wipes on the tray and removing the similarly soiled bib from around her neck. Finally, Mummy removed the tray that had held Kori in the seat. Looking down, she really took in just how ridiculously oversized she was for the seat. Her diapered bottom was basically stuffed into every last inch of the width of the chair, and the headrest was actually supporting the middle of her back. Even her slender legs had practically been touching the bottom of the tray, and the waist strap was so hopelessly overmatched by the thickness of her diaper that they hadn’t even bothered to try to get it around her. Considered in this light, she was certain that the tiny, restricting seat had probably been contributing to her discomfort. Gratefully, she accepted Mummy’s hand and climbed out of the seat, feeling her cramped legs loosen a little as she started to follow her lead.
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