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Before I start on the story, I'd like to thank Willnotwill for his writing contest. It was just the challenge I needed to get back to writing new stories. And with that out of the way boys and girls, are you ready for a story? As with my other stories, this series has an entry on my index post. ----------------------------------- Going back to school Maggie wiped the fog from the bathroom mirror and stared at her own reflection. She sighed. Despite looking like she was in her late 20s she felt several decades older. At least things should be going back to something more normal now. The last four years had just been insane and ridiculous. The covid lockdowns had been problematic enough, but the preceding years had been weirder and more chaotic than a retconned comic book series written by a schizophrenic writer on at least three different hallucinogens. It had literally felt like history had been continuously rewriting itself. The pandemic shutdown had cost Maggie her retail job, but it had also shrunk Maggie's everyday world to a more manageable size and let her, for lack of a better word, tidy up her life. After having worked full-time for almost three years, she had decided to go back to university to finish her degree. And today was the first day of school. Maggie left the bathroom and walked down the hallway to her bedroom. "Okay. What to wear? What to wear?" she said to the empty room while looking in her closet. She had to admit that after having worn sweatpants and tank tops almost every day for the last five months, it felt strange knowing she would be wearing 'proper clothes' for the whole day and not just for an hour or two to get groceries. Maggie settled on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt, and quickly dressed. She grabbed her backpack and phone from the kitchen table and headed out. Jellybean, her tiny, green car, waited for her barely the legal distance from the fire hydrant right outside her door. The car had been part of a weird inheritance a few years earlier, along with a house in the middle of nowhere outside the city. During the lockdown, she had managed to sell it to someone who really wanted to socially distance and had bought her tiny apartment. But she hadn't had the heart to sell the car. "Hi there Jellybean," Maggie whispered as she leaned close to unlock the door. "Ready to go back to school?" ~~~ Maggie was early enough that she didn't have any trouble finding a parking spot. Walking across the parking lot to the lecture hall felt like stepping back in time. For a few moments, Maggie imagined that the last few years hadn't happened. Her on-again-off-again boyfriend Christopher would be somewhere just around a corner, ready to shoot the breeze or have those long, deep conversations about unimportant things like how hot the psychology professor was. But Christopher had graduated and moved halfway across the country for a job. The thought that she probably wouldn't see a single familiar face among the students, brought Maggie crashing back to the present. Maybe I should have gone to some of those get-to-know-each-other things last week. Maggie checked her class schedule. She still had almost two hours until her first lecture. I really need to get used to no longer living an hour's drive from anywhere. Maggie found a bench outside and just leaned back, letting the sun warm her. It was still early enough that the campus was fairly quiet. Being able to just bask in the sun was one of the things she missed about her old house. Sure, it had been draughty and isolated and the plumbing and power had been problematic, but tiny garden had been wonderful in the summer. And being as isolated as it had been, Maggie had felt free to walk around the house wearing whatever she wanted. And that had included diapers. Almost a decade earlier, Maggie had told her girlfriend at the time, Susan, that she liked wearing diapers when she was feeling stressed, and Susan had been OK with it. She had never felt like she needed to actually use them or anything; they had just been something she used like a kind of security blanket. It was always the padding itself that made her feel safe. Up until a few years ago, she had only used folded towels as diapers, but after going through some stuff that she still didn't like to think about, she had actually needed diapers at night. Thankfully it hadn't lasted very long, but the whole episode had proved to Maggie that she didn't mind wetting herself, provided she had a diaper she was sure wouldn't leak. She still mostly used cloth diapers, saving her disposable ones for when she was planning on using them. And she never wore either in public; only in private. Of course, having spent half a year in either official lockdown or what might as well be lockdown, she had used diapers a lot more the last months. The only other person who knew that Maggie liked to wear diapers, was her best friend, Anita. Apparently she had told her one night when they had been drinking like fishes. Maggie couldn't remember doing it, but she did remember Anita coming over to check on her when she had had a raging fever and finding her on the sofa wearing nothing but a diaper. And then, as if that hadn't been bad enough, she had wet herself by accident. It had been the most embarrassing moment in Maggie's life, even if Anita had taken it quite well. Despite Maggie's fever fantasies, Anita had made sure she had some proper food and been the perfect 'mother', short of changing Maggie's diapers. That, she had said, would have been taking things too far. Maggie sipped her water bottle and stretched her legs. The only sounds she could hear was the buzzing and the distant conversation of a small group of students smoking outside the library building. She took another sip, hoping it would help ease the worries she had about returning to school. Maggie had to resist the urge to dig out her books and start going over the subjects she had finished years ago. She had by no means been an exemplary student, but she had done the work. For the most part. What if I can't remember any of the things from before. I'm going to look like a complete idiot if they ask me a question. One worst-case scenario after another popped into Maggie's head. Her ears filled with the rolling thunder of her racing pulse. Taking a deep breath, she balled up her fists and opened them up again; over and over. You're not stupid Maggie. You know this stuff. Just take a breath. And another one. And another one... It worked; sort of. Little by little, the quiet returned. The queasy feeling in her stomach remained though. Another couple of mouthfuls of water did nothing to help it. I knew I should have eaten something for breakfast. Time moved along at a snail's pace, but eventually it was time for the first lecture. Maggie got up and followed the crowd back inside the lecture hall. The auditorium was already pretty full, but Maggie found a seat on the second row and sat down; first row was for wannabe teacher's pets. Maggie barely had time to pull out her notebook and pencils before she walked in. The hottie professor that she and Christopher had spent almost every lecture ogling and fantasising about the last year Maggie had been a student. Well, at least that's one familiar face. Maybe this won't be completely terrible. The lecture was the usual first-lecture-of-the-year kind of lecture that Maggie had heard many times before. Professor Martin outlined what she expected from her students and gave a quick summary of what she would cover in her lectures. Then she went through all the popular misconceptions about what psychology was and wasn't. With about fifteen minutes left of the lecture, Professor Martin did something new. "Now that we've covered that, it's time to go through the circus acts. Even if a lot of medical doctors think of psychology as soft science, it is a serious topic. We will not be playing around with 'Are you a psychopath' check lists or 'how to spot a bad boyfriend' articles. Anybody want to guess what else we won't be covering?" Professor Martin leaned on the little lectern she had on her desk. "Ecstasy-therapy?" someone asked, "or microdosing?" Professor Martin smiled wryly. "Sorry to disappoint you. No drugs in class." "ESP" "Psychology, not parapsychology." Professor Martin rolled her eyes. "Lobotomies," someone in the back suggested. "You're joking, right? Of course we're not going to be covering surgery." "Hypnosis!" There were a few chuckles. "OK, that's not the dumbest thing so far. Not the comic-book mind-control stuff, of course. But hypnosis can be a valid tool in psychotherapy. We're not going to cover the therapy bit here, and actually hypnotising someone if something you can learn from half a dozen different books." Professor Martin paused and glanced at the clock above the door. "But I suppose we have time for a quick demonstration. Any volunteers?" A few hands immediately shot up, mostly in the front row, followed a couple more further back. Professor Martin looked out across the room before locking eyes with Maggie. "Second row, on the end there. How about you?" Maggie knew that if she didn't play along, the other students would just keep pushing and jeering. So she decided to give in to peer pressure. She slowly rose and walked up to the front of the room. "You look familiar," Professor Martin said. "You took my class a couple of years ago, didn't you?" Maggie nodded. "Yeah." "I can't remember your name though." Professor Martin placed a chair next to her desk and turned it to face away from the rest of the room. "Um, Maggie. Maggie Gibson." "Okay Maggie. Why don't you have a seat here, and we'll get started." Maggie gingerly sat down on the chair as if she was afraid it was going to fall apart and she would fall on her arse. "So..." Professor Martin began. "Those of you who are expecting some kind of Vegas magic show are going to be disappointed. Maggie here is not going to be clucking like a chicken or anything like that. This is simply to demonstrate the process." There were a few disappointed groans, probably from the back rows. Maggie knew from experience why you would get a seat there. Professor Martin reached behind her neck and took off her necklace. She held it up so everyone could see it. "I don't have a gold pocket watch, but how many of you think this'll do the trick?" she asked. Maggie couldn't see how many raised their hands, but it had to be at least a few, because Professor Martin continued. "That's another cliché. You don't really need any fancy gadgets or sparkly jewellery to hypnotise someone. What you do need, however, is a willing participant. You can't really hypnotise someone against their will. After that it's all just a matter of helping them reach a state of deep relaxation." Professor Martin found a second chair and sat down facing Maggie's left side. "Are you ready to begin?" Maggie swallowed and nodded. "OK, I want you to close your eyes and imagine a lit candle. It can be any kind of candle but I want you to visualise the whole thing, not just the flame." "Uh-huh." "What does it look like?" "Short and thick. Dark blue." "That's good. Now I want you to keep the image on that candle in your mind as you open your eyes again. Almost like you can still see it in front of you." Maggie nodded. "Now keep your eyes on the flame. See how it flickers ever so slightly. Am I really watching the imaginary flame of a non-existing candle? This is just dumb. "Every time you breathe, the flame flickers a little, and your eyelids grow just a tiny bit heavier. Just a little bit. With every flicker." Maggie's eyelids did feel heavy, but that was just because she hadn't slept all that well the night before. "...so so heavy. You just let your eyes close. Just for a while. You can still see the candle. And with every flicker, your arms and legs feel a little heavier." "You can feel a little tingle starting in your fingertips and with every breath, it moves a little further up your arms, leaving them relaxed and heavy." Maggie was only halfway listening to Professor Martin. She was feeling like she was almost about to fall asleep and have a little nap. "Every breath making you more and more relaxed. You feel a tingle in your toes and moved up your legs, making them relaxed too. The candle is just bright enough for you to see where you are. It's somewhere you feel perfectly safe." Maggie could almost see her old living room slowly appear in her mind's eye; the overflowing bookshelves and the worn, but incredibly comfortable sofa. It all seemed almost real enough to touch. Maggie felt like yawning, but she just couldn't find the energy. Her entire skeleton felt like it was made of lead and everything was just so warm and cosy. Almost like she was wrapped in a warm cloud. Professor Martin's voice had become more of a background noise, a comforting white noise. I could take a quick nap and nobody would noti- Maggie was abruptly yanked out of her cosy fantasy by the short burst of the bell signalling the end of the lecture. She was about to get up when Professor Martin put a hand on her shoulder. "Just stay there for a moment," she said quietly. "Um, OK, but why-" Maggie started, But then she realised what had happened. She looked down at the wet spot on her crotch. It wasn't a lot, but it was still more than she would ever be able to hide. Maggie shrank down in the chair, covering her wetness as best she could with her hands. When the room was empty, Professor Martin sat back down next to Maggie. She leaned closer and put a hand on Maggie's forearm. "Don't worry," she whispered. "It's OK." Maggie felt tears of shame welling up in her eyes. "No it's not. I've pissed myself. Right in front of everybody. That's not normal Professor." "It's not the first time this has happened. But the way you were sitting, I very much doubt anybody noticed." "But I can't leave looking like this!" Maggie gestured to her wet crotch. "I'm guessing you don't exactly have a change of pants in your backpack." "No. It's not like I planned on wetting myself today," Maggie replied indignantly. "No, most people don't." Professor Martin paused for a moment. "Look, can you wait here a couple of minutes alone? I'll lock the door." "I suppose. But why, Professor?" "Rachel, please. You calling me Professor Martin in this situation feels strange." "Okay Prof- I mean, Rachel." Professor Martin up and grabbed her bag. "Could you please hand me my backpack before you leave?" "Of course." As Professor Martin, Rachel, left and locked the door behind her, Maggie put the backpack on her lap, hiding her wet jeans. Time slowed to a snail's pace as Maggie listened to the empty room behind her. The ventilation sounded much louder than before, and she could hear people passing by on the other side of the door. Maggie closed her eyes. No, stay the fuck awake. Thinking about taking a nap was what got us into this situation to begin with. She opened her eyes again. The view was quite limited since there were no windows. Maggie hugged her backpack. Her mind raced with a whole new set of worst case scenarios that felt even worse than the ones she had contemplated earlier in the day. The lock clicked loudly and Maggie almost jumped out of the chair. More than anything, she wanted to hide, but that would mean getting up, which in turn would mean showing the wet spot that had surely spread across at least part of her butt. When she saw that it was Professor Martin who ducked inside and quickly locked the door again, Maggie calmed down a little. She opened her bag and pulled out a plastic-wrapped bundle that she held out to Maggie. "Here, you can borrow these." Maggie looked inside and saw a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Professor Martin nodded to a door in the corner. "You can use the supply closet to change." Maggie put her backpack down next to the chair. "Don't look, please," she said. When Professor Martin turned away, Maggie quickly got up and walked to the supply closet. The tiny room was filled with stacks of chairs, a few tables and even an old overhead projector hidden away in a corner. Maggie stepped out of her shoes and pulled down her jeans and panties. The seat of her pants had a wet spot bigger than her entire hand. Using the sink and some paper towels, Maggie cleaned herself as best she could before stepping into the fresh pants and pulling them up. She didn't like not having any underwear on, but it wasn't like she had much choice in the matter. With her shoes back on and her jeans and panties stuffed in the plastic bag, she emerged from the supply closet. Professor Martin was leaning against the edge of her desk. She looked concerned. "How are you doing?" she asked. "How do you think? I pissed myself in front of the whole class on the first day, and now I'm standing here wearing shiny purple tracksuit pants and no underwear. So I'm just peachy." Professor Martin pushed her chair towards Maggie. "Want to talk about it? "Not really." Maggie sighed and leaned on the back of the chair. Professor Martin nodded once; slowly. She didn't say anything, instead letting her silence draw the words from Maggie. "It's just..." Maggie sighed, looking for the right words. "...I don't know. Hard; or at least harder than I expected." Professor Martin stayed silent, but the concerned look on her face helped ease the knot in Maggie's stomach. "I just didn't expect it to feel so...new. I mean, I was here for two years, but now it all feels different. Everybody feels like they're so young and I can't stop worrying about remembering stuff and I feel like I'm stupid and that I should just leave here and get a job instead and-" Maggie rambled; her words tumbling out like a verbal avalanche. She finally stopped and sat down next to Professor Martin. "Maybe it's because I had Chris back then, so I wasn't really alone." "Chris; that's the curly-haired guy you always sat with in my classes, right? The one that kept staring at my butt?" "What?!?" Maggie felt a rush of embarrassment on Chris' behalf. "Oh come on, he wasn't being very discreet about it. Professor Martin gave a short chuckle. "Is that why you picked me for this? Payback for Chris ogling you?" "Not at all." Professor Martin smiled. "I saw you having your anxiety attack outside and I figured I could kill two birds with one stone. A demonstration for the other students plus helping you relax. "Mm-yeah." Maggie sighed. "Relaxed a little too much, didn't I?" They sat silently for a little while before Professor Martin addressed the elephant in the room. "Sooo, about the...accident..." She hesitated for a moment. "You said that you hadn't planned on wetting yourself today?" "Yeah?" Maggie said cautiously, unsure where Professor Martin was headed. "Do you ever plan on wetting yourself?" Maggie wanted to deny it, to be outraged, to tell Professor Martin to fuck off and mind her own business. But she didn't. Instead, she said nothing, just looking down at the floor. Again, Professor Martin let Maggie take her time to find the right words. "Sometimes," Maggie whispered. She felt like she had said it while holding her breath. Why did I say that? I've never told anyone that I do it on purpose. Even Anita thinks it was just an accident when I was sick. And Susan; I only wore diapers for the padded feeling with her. Why did I tell her? She's going to think I'm a complete freak and then she's going to flunk me and it's all my fault. Why did I say "sometimes"? Stupid, stupid stupid! But Professor Martin didn't say anything; at least not at first. She just pulled Maggie a little closer and brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face. "It's OK," she whispered. "It's OK." "Those two words of acceptance made something give way in Maggie. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and burying her face against Professor Martin's shoulder, she let them out. Professor Martin stroked Maggie's hair, just holding her and whispering soothingly. When Maggie finally lifted her head again, her mind no longer raced with worst-case scenarios. "Better?" Maggie sniffed. "Yeah, a little." "Good." "I feel so stupid." Maggie looked away again. Professor Martin put a hand under Maggie's chin and gently turned her head to face hers. Maggie had never noticed how incredibly brown her eyes were. A deep, rich, almost chocolate-y brown. "You're not stupid," Professor Martin stated firmly. "Lonely? Yes. Nervous? Probably. Depressed? Maybe. But stupid? No." Maggie sniffed again, hating how crying made her nose so runny. "OK, I guess." They sat silently for a while longer. "When you said that you sometimes wet yourself..." "Mm-yeah?" "I assume you take some kind of precautions. Like diapers or something?" "Mm-hmm." Maggie gave a little nod. "That's good. How many more lectures do you have today?" "One. Introductory philosophy." "Oh that one is just the lecturer rambling on and on the first couple of weeks. They're not going to notice you're not there today, so here's what we'll do. You're going to go home. Probably do some laundry. And tomorrow you're going to come to my office an hour before your first lecture." "Okaay?" "And you're going to wear your diapers." "What?!? Why?" "Because I'm going to hypnotise you again. To help you relax, so you don't have those anxiety attacks you had earlier." "But, but..." "But what? You don't want to?" Professor Martin sounded... disappointed? "No, I do," Maggie said quickly. "It's just... I've never worn them out in public. Only at home." "Ah, I see." Professor Martin nodded. "Well, I suppose you could bring it in your bag and put them on before we start. Would that be better?" "I guess. But Professor-" "Maggie, you can call me Rachel when we're alone." "Okay Rachel." It felt strange to Maggie to be on a first name basis with Professor Martin; with Rachel. "Why are you doing all this? I mean, I can't be the only student who is nervous about being here." "Honestly, I don't know. You sometimes have this deer-caught-in-the-headlights look that I find absolutely adorable. Now, back in '17 you were the same age as most of the other students, so it felt a little creepy for me to do anything, but I'm guessing these last three or four years have let you grow up a bit, so you have a better idea of what you might be getting into." "And what exactly might that be?" "One hour before each of my lectures, I'll help you with your anxiety. And in return, you act as my assistant." "You mean like a T.A.?" Maggie asked, seeing piles of paperwork in her mind. "No. More like being my regular demonstration model when I need to show the class something. Kind of like today, except you'll know about it in advance so we can... take precautions." "Okay?" Maggie said cautiously. "It still sounds like you're getting the better part of the deal." "If it helps, you can think of it as working on an extra credit project." Professor Martin paused. "Plus we kind of... hang out for two hours every week." Maggie looked at Professor Martin. Had she noticed that Chris hadn't been the only one checking her out? It was a tempting offer, but after the last argument, how could she accept without seeming like a teenager with a crush on her teacher. As if reading Maggie's thoughts, Professor Martin reached behind her back, taking Maggie's hand and sliding it down to her butt. Maggie's breath caught in her throat, but she didn't pull her hand away. "You were a lot more subtle than your friend Chris," Professor Martin said and smiled. "So it took me a lot longer to notice." Maggie looked away. She felt like she had been caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. "Maggie? Look at me." Maggie turned back to meet Professor Martin's incredible brown eyes. "It's OK." There it was again; those two simple words that made Maggie feel accepted for exactly who she was. Looking into Professor Martin's; No, Rachel's eyes while hearing them was like floating in a pool of warm chocolate. "So what do you say?" Maggie nodded "OK, I have another lecture soon, so we're going to have to finish this tomorrow. And after that it'll be one hour before each lecture. Mondays and Thursdays. Maggie nodded again. "Oh, and you can return my pants tomorrow." Professor Martin nodded toward Maggie's legs. "Okay," Maggie whispered and nodded yet again. "Now off you go." Professor Martin gave Maggie one last hug. ~~~ Walking back to her car, Maggie's mind was reeling with what had just happened; her brain running over with new questions. What did Professor Martin mean when she said the deer-in-the-headlights look was adorable? Am I just being her test dummy or is there something more? And why did she put my hand on her butt? "Fuck Maggie! Stop overthinking and get moving," Maggie told herself. She shook her head to clear it before turning the key to start the car. Mid-day traffic was light so Maggie considered stopping by the pet store where Anita worked to talk to her about what had happened, but she decided not to. Underwear and proper pants first. Maggie parked Jellybean in her usual spot and hurried inside. She left her backpack by the door as she kicked off her shoes and hung up her jacket. Maggie's first stop was the bathroom. While tissues and a supply closet sink might technically get her clean, she wanted a shower. Hot water and soap to wash away the shame of having lost control. Why the hell did I agree to continue this whole thing tomorrow? And to wear diapers while doing it? Does she want me to lose control again? To wet myself. Do I want that? Maggie's mind raced with questions she couldn't answer as she stood in the shower. The hot water pounding down on her head and the white noise of the fan not helping her thought processes at all. She washed herself almost on autopilot, soaping up and rinsing off. When she stepped out of the shower she was nowhere closer to having any answers. Maggie briefly considered putting on a diaper, but then she remembered she had laundry that needed to be done. She gathered up the clothes from the floor and went through the laundry hamper for clothes similar to the urine-stained pants hidden in her backpack. Armed with loose change, detergent and her phone, Maggie headed for the laundromat down the street. ~~~ Maggie tried not to watch the dark blue and black bundle of clothes tumble around and around in the washing machine. It would almost be hypnotic if it wasn't for the occasional flash of purple tracksuit breaking up the pattern. She sat back and checked the timer. Forty more minutes. Maggie checked her phone for the seventh time. Just like the six previous times, there was no new messages or anything else interesting to distract her. She sighed and opened the messaging app, typing a quick message. She still needed to talk to Anita about her day. Need to talk. Wanna come over? Pizza? Maggie knew that the last line would almost ensure a positive response. She didn't have to wait long for an answer. ANITA: Sure. When? Eight-ish? ANITA: OK Now, what the hell do I tell her? An accident is one thing, but voluntarily showing up to risk another? Do I really want that? Maggie tried her best to push the questions away again, but half an hour later she left the laundromat with a bag full of damp clothes and even more doubts and insecurities than she'd had when she entered. Back in her apartment, Maggie busied herself with the minutiae of everyday life. She hung the wet laundry on the drying rack, made sure her backpack had the books she would need the next day, and made some lunch. Maggie was done with her sandwich and halfway through her second glass of ice tea when an oh-so-familiar thought bobbed back to the surface of her mind. What if the hypnosis has after-effects. I really don't need another accident today. Maggie gulped down the rest of her tea and went to her bedroom. She pulled a diaper from the bottom drawer of her dresser and unfolded it on the bed. Peeling off her jeans and underwear, Maggie sat down on the diaper, adjusting her position before lying back and pulling the diaper up between her legs. Despite all that had happened, Maggie still couldn't help but smile a little at the tissue-paper-like feel of the diaper. It was almost like the sensation sent a signal to her brain to calm down and let her body relax. She held the diaper in place with one hand while deftly taping it in place with the other. When she was happy with the fit, Maggie got up. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her diaper was peeking out from under her t-shirt. She stretched and pretended to yawn, making the t-shirt ride up, exposing more of the diaper. She had to admit that the diapers-and-t-shirt look was cute. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and wrinkled her nose at her reflection to complete the image. Maggie pushed her duvet up to the head of the bed and sat down, leaning back against the giant cushion she had created. She took a deep breath, held it for a second or two, then exhaled. It almost felt like all the tension in her body melted away; her brain finally shutting up, letting her just be. Why can't life be this simple? Maggie wasn't sure how long she lay on the bed just looking up at nothing in particular, but when her bladder began filling up, the knowledge that she was wearing her diapers easily overrode her toilet training. The slow trickle tickled its way down between her legs, eventually pooling under Maggie's butt. Maggie let out a quiet sigh and reached down to rest her hand on her diapered crotch, feeling the warm trail through the white plastic cover. She let her middle and ring finger slide back and forth over the smooth plastic. Occasionally, her skin would catch against the plastic, dragging the now softened inside of the diaper along her sensitive skin. Maggie didn't even realise that she had let out another trickle of pee. Once the diaper was wet, it was almost as if her bladder decided that it wasn't even going to try to hold back. The warm spot grew a little, prompting Maggie to rub just a little more vigorously. Another little trickle; a warm velvet hand touching Maggie in the most tantalising way. And another one. It was all a vicious circle. An exquisite, delicious vicious circle. When she reached the peak a dam burst as Maggie flooded her diaper. She surfed the wave for as long as she could before flopping back, out of breath. She kept playing with herself, more to just wind down than for any other reason. The only thing that was really missing was someone holding her. Anita would let Maggie snuggle up with her, but it would never go any further than that; and Maggie wanted more. She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. By the time Maggie realised how late it was, her diaper had cooled and was beginning to itch. She rolled over on her stomach and crawled backwards off the bed. The diaper sagged heavily and Maggie wiggled her hips to adjust it. The heavy bulk between her legs made her waddle as she made her way to the bathroom to clean up. Damn! I feel like a fuckin' penguin. After her shower, Maggie quickly got dressed and headed out to pick up the pizza. Forty-five minutes later she returned with a still reasonably hot pizza, drinks and a complimentary salad that she knew would never be eaten. And as if summoned by magic, Anita showed up a few minutes later. The two girls didn't waste time and were soon stuffing their faces with cheese and ham-covered crust. "Not that I have anything against free pizza," Anita said around a mouthful, "but you said you needed to talk to me about something?" "Mm-hmm." Maggie kept chewing until she could no longer use it as an excuse to stay silent, then swallowed. "So, in psych class today..." Little by little, Anita dragged most of the story out of her. Maggie left out her thoughts about maybe wanting another accident; she figured Anita didn't really need to know that. When she was done Anita just stared at her. "So what do you think I should do?" Maggie nodded to the last piece of pizza with a raised eyebrow. "I think you should take the last piece," Anita said, "'cause I'm stuffed." "I meant about Professor Martin." Maggie grabbed the last slice. "Oh, you're going to say yes. I mean, it's obvious that you want to." "It is?" "Ooh yeah." Anita smiled smugly. "The professor you've had the hots for for years thinks you're cute and wants you to 'help out' in class? And you have to have two hour-long , one-on-one meetings with her? Yeah, you were always going to say yes." "I guess," Maggie mumbled, focusing on the half-eaten slice of pizza she was holding. "It just feels weird." "Weird?" "I pissed myself. That's not exactly the best first date." Maggie stuffed the last of the pizza into her mouth and chewed. "I don't think her picking you to demo something in class counts as a date Maggie." "Yeah, but still-" "Maggie," Anita interrupted, "I'm not going to order you to do it-" "Well, I'm not your boyfriend." "Yeah, but I still think you need to take a risk and go for it. You've been miserable since Chris moved. I honestly think you need someone in your life, and if this Professor Martin could be that person, I think it'd be good for you." Maggie sighed. "I guess you're right." "Of course I'm right. I'm always right. Just ask Max." "I think he'd agree to anything you say when you have him naked and tied up." "Probably, but that doesn't change the facts." "Yeah. Maggie sighed again. She wasn't quite sure if she had lost an argument or if she had just been told when she already knew. The next hour or so was spent bullshitting about unimportant things before Anita had to go home. Maggie would have preferred she stay longer, but Anita had reminded her that she needed to get going an hour earlier than her class schedule said if she wanted to make it to her meeting with Professor Martin. ~~~ The next morning, Maggie walked across the mostly empty campus. Just like the day before, she felt jittery and nervous. The three large cups of coffee she had had in lieu of breakfast probably contributed to the feeling, but this was an altogether different kind of nervousness. It almost felt like she was sneaking around, doing something illegal. Maggie looked around to see if anybody was watching her as she turned right towards the faculty building. God, this is so stupid. The stairs up to the third floor felt longer and steeper than they should be. The diaper hidden in her backpack felt like it weighed half a ton. Maggie's steps echoed in the empty corridor as she made her way to Professor Martin's office. She held her breath and knocked. "Come on in." Maggie cautiously opened the door and looked inside. She had expected... she wasn't sure exactly what she had expected. Something obsessively tidy; all glass and chrome and minimalist. But Professor Martin's office was the polar opposite. There were overflowing bookcases, a desk with barely any room and two full wastepaper baskets side by side next to it. It reminded Maggie of her old living room. Professor Martin looked up from behind a stack of books. "Don't just stand there. Come inside." Maggie stepped through the door and closed it behind her. She looked around for somewhere to sit down. Professor Martin walked around her desk and lifted a stack of papers off a small couch and motioned for Maggie to sit. "Why don't you have a seat?" Maggie sat down, putting her backpack on the floor between her feet. "Sooo," she began, "now what do we do?" Professor Martin pulled her chair around the desk and sat down facing Maggie. "You seem nervous Maggie." "I had a lot of coffee, so I'm a little jumpy." "Yes, but I don't think it's just the coffee, is it." Maggie looked up at Professor Martin's beautiful eyes. It almost felt like she could drown in them. "No," she whispered. "Then what is it?" Maggie hesitated. "This feels like it's wrong." She swallowed. "I mean, you're a professor and I'm a student. There's rules about that." "Yes Maggie. And if you were one of my students, I wouldn't be doing this. But you passed my class before you left, so why are you auditing?" Maggie looked down. "It's stupid," she mumbled. "That's OK. You can tell me anyway." Professor Martin put a single finger under Maggie's chin and lifted it, looking into her eyes. "I promise I won't laugh." "It's... It's like I told you yesterday. I just wanted something familiar, something from before. Chris isn't here any more, and I liked your class a lot more than the other ones." "Just my class?" Professor Martin raised an eyebrow suggestibly, making Maggie blush. "I said it was stupid," Maggie whispered. Professor Martin took Maggie's hand and held it in hers. "First of all, it's not stupid. It makes sense, in a way. We all want what's familiar. That's why we have things like comfort food, and security blankets." "Mm-hmm?" "And second, as long as you're not actually taking any of my classes, I'm pretty sure there aren't any rules that would apply to us." "Okay," Maggie said, feeling a little more at ease. "Maggie, if you don't want to do this, that's okay. We can go back to being just Maggie and Professor Martin, like we were before the lecture yesterday. Or we can try moving on to being Maggie and sometimes-Rachel. If you want that." Maggie nodded slowly. "Yeah, that'd be nice," she whispered. Professor Martin let Maggie digest her admission. "So what happens now?" Maggie said after a while. "Well, I'm going to hypnotise you again, like yesterday. Except this time we'll have time to implant a couple post-hypnotic suggestions. Nothing big; just little tricks you can use to help yourself relax when you're feeling overwhelmed. Does that sound okay?" "So you're not going to make me wet myself whenever I see you tug your earlobe or something." Professor Martin laughed. "No darling, remember hypnosis can't make you do something you don't want to do, so unless you want to wet yoursel... Oooh." "Yeah. Oooh." "Well, I figure we'll keep it simple and limit ourselves to two. One to help you calm down and manage your anxiety, and one to make it quicker and easier for me to hypnotise you again. Anything that happens beyond that will be one hundred percent your own choice." "So, are you, you know, prepared?" Professor Martin nodded towards Maggie's lap. Maggie blushed again. "Uh, no. It's..." She patted her backpack. "Ah. You should probably put them on so we don't have a repeat of what happened yesterday." "Yeah, I guess." Maggie lifted the backpack onto her lap. "Do you mind?" She looked towards the door. "Oh, of course." Professor Martin got up and walked to the door. "I'll be right outside. You just let me know when you're ready." As soon as the door closed, Maggie opened her backpack. The plastic cover of the diaper was so glaringly white it almost seemed to give off light. She pulled it out and made sure there weren't any tears in the plastic before unfolding it on the couch. With a swiftness born from practice, Maggie pulled her jeans and boxer briefs down and sat down on the diaper, pulling it up between her legs and taping it in place. Then she pulled the underwear and pants back up. The whole affair had taken less than two minutes. Maggie went to the door and opened it, finding Professor Martin waiting outside. "That was quick," she commented. "Yeah," Maggie said awkwardly. "It's not so hard once you've done it a few times." "Good to know." Professor Martin sat down in her chair and looked at Maggie. "I thought they'd be thicker," she said. "I can't even tell you're wearing diapers." "They're my thinnest ones." Maggie sat back down on the couch. "Ready?" Maggie took a deep breath and nodded. "We'll start just like yesterday.. I want you to close your eyes and imagine a candle..." It didn't take long before Maggie was lying slumped back on the couch feeling as if her entire skeleton was made of lead while Professor Martin's voice was leading her to her safe place; her old living room. "Okay Maggie, you're in your safe place. Can you describe it to me?" "My old living room," Maggie said dreamily. "Lots of books. Kinda like your office. But the sofa's bigger." "I'm going to put my hand on your cheek now. Whenever we're in my office and I put my hand on your cheek and say 'you can call me Rachel', you can answer 'yes Rachel' and then you'll go right to your safe place just like now. Do you understand?" "Yes," Maggie whispered. Professor Martin reached out and stroked Maggie's cheek. "You can call me Rachel." "Yes Rachel," Maggie answered. Professor Martin stroked her cheek again. "You can call me Rachel." "Yes Rachel." She stroked the cheek a third time. "You can call me Rachel." "Yes Rachel." "That's a good girl. Now do you remember my office?" "Yes." "I want you to know that when you're in my office you're safe. Safe to be honest. Safe to be yourself. It'll be just like in your safe place. Do you understand. "Yesss," Maggie said slowly. "Good, good. Now let's see if we can go a little deeper and set up something for that anxiety of yours." Maggie couldn't remember what happened next as Rachel's voice once again became sort of a white noise in the background of her mind, lulling her to sleep. She woke up feeling like she had had the best nap ever. And sitting there, right in front of her, looking at her with those incredible brown eyes was Professor Martin. Or was it Rachel? Maggie felt unsure for a moment, but quickly decided it didn't matter." "Ah, The sleeping beauty awakens," she said and smiled. "How are you feeling?" "So relaxed. I haven't felt this good in ages." "That's wonderful. Any, you know... accidents?" "Nope. Still dry. Wanna see?" Maggie reached for the buttons on her jeans. "Whoa whoa whoa! What are you doing?" "Uh, showing you I'm still dry." "That's okay Maggie. I believe you." Rachel silently rubbed her chin for a little while. "Maggie? Your old living room, your safe place, it was fairly remote?" Maggie chuckled. "You could say that. The nearest neighbour was like a five or six minute walk down the road." "I see. So did you usually wear your, you know..." "My diapers?" "Yes, your diapers. Did you usually wear them openly there?" "Yeah. I mean, it's not like there would be people just dropping by randomly. It was in the middle of nowhere." "And let me guess, my office feels kind of the same way." "Uh-huh." "Even though it's in the middle of a university campus." "Yea...oh shit!" "It'sokayit'sokayit'sokay." Professor Martin spoke so quickly that Maggie almost couldn't understand what she said. Why did I do that? I almost fucking diaperflashed her. I screwed up everything. Stupid stupid stupid! Maggie grabbed her backpack, desperate for something, anything, to hide behind. She felt tears of shame welling up in her eyes. Then she felt someone sitting down next to her on the couch and a hand stroking her hair." "Don't cry," Professor Martin said softly. "It's not your fault." Maggie sniffed. "How is it not my fault? I'm the one who nearly pulled my own pants down in front of you." "I forgot to take context into consideration when I hypnotised you. I told you to think of my office being just like your old living room." "So how come it doesn't feel like that now?" "Reality tends to overrule our imagination. But I can fix it, if you'll let me." Professor Martin took Maggie's backpack and put it back on the floor. Then she reached out to stroke Maggie's cheek. "You can call me Rachel." Maggie felt her limbs grow heavier as her muscles relaxed. "Yes Rachel." The reply came almost without having to think about it. She let Rachel guide her limp body down until she was lying with her head in Rachel's lap, looking up at those incredible eyes. "Maggie?" "Yes." "Do you remember my office?" "Yes." "I want you to remember that it's a safe place. It's still a place where you can be honest and be yourself and not feel shame, but you will also remember it's not your old living room. Can you remember that?" "Yes." "Good. Now I'm going to count to three and when I reach three, you're going to wake up and you're going to remember what we just talked about. One, two, three." Maggie blinked a couple of times as she looked up at Rachel. "This isn't a halfway bad view to wake up to," she said and smiled. Rachel moved to let Maggie sit up. "Please don't." She stopped. "I just wanna stay like this for a little while. Just for a minute. Please?" "Of course." Lying there with her head in Rachel's lap, Maggie felt so calm that she was tempted to just let go, but she resisted the urge. After a little while, Rachel helped her sit up before moving back to her chair. "Just one last thing before you leave." "That doesn't sound ominous at all." "It's just... with what happens when you get really relaxed, I don't know if that might happen if you have one of your anxiety attacks." "Are you saying..." "I don't know, but I think you should keep your diapers on just in case." "Seriously?" Maggie rolled her eyes. "Having to worry about anybody noticing them-" "Nobody is going to notice. I didn't notice and I knew you had them on. You'll be fine. And besides, better safe than sorry. Don't you agree?" "OK, I guess." "That's my good girl." Rachel leaned over and kissed Maggie's forehead, filling her head with butterflies that quickly migrated to her stomach. Helping Maggie to her feet, she led her to the door. "I'll see you on Thursday then." Maggie wandered slowly down the hallway, her mind swirling with thoughts. One of them louder than any other. I'm her good girl.

Tain Cadioch receives an invitation to a boarding School. It was his Mum's last wish as his dad is abusive. The School has tutors that work one on one with students, his tutor eventually becomes his Mommy. Open for anyone