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  1. This is Volume 2 of a multi-volume story. The first volume, totally 800 pages, can be found here and a revised, proofed version can be found on Amazon for $2.99. Thank you to all my readers, especially to those who have supported me by purchasing a copy of the first volume. Chapter 1 The three of them were sitting at the dinner table, the dishes already cleared away. “So,” Amanda said, “At the end of the summer, I’ll be moving out.” Jamie had sat glumly through the entire conversation. It wasn’t a total surprise. He’d seen the signs, like catching Amanda looking at furniture online. Her graduation was coming up in a few weeks. While it had never been discussed with Jamie, he knew at some point Amanda would be moving out. She was 24 now and couldn’t live at home forever. It was just an issue they had all put off, Jamie most of all, it seeming from his little’s perspective like everything was farther away than it really was. Becky and Amanda watched his reaction now with trepidation, which only grew when he didn’t immediately speak. Jamie listened without saying anything, and now that Amanda was done, he had nothing to say. Instead, his breathing slowly began to get heavier until it was audible, and the lump in his throat grew, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold in his emotions much longer. He propelled himself out of his chair and began to stomp toward his nursery. Amanda jumped up and got in front of him, bending down to put both her hands on his shoulders. “Hey, talk to me,” she pleaded. “Let me go!” “No, we’ll talk this over together.” “No!” Not thinking or meaning to, Jamie kicked Amanda in the shin, hard enough that she let him go, and resumed his stomp to his room, throwing “I hate you” over his shoulder as he did and slamming his door. Amanda stood there shocked, her shin throbbing and her heart aching much worse. Becky had her hand over her face and a tear in her eye; she exhaled, feeling ineffectual and wondering what she could do. Amanda’s sob brought her out of her trance, and Becky was up and had her arms around her daughter as she began to cry hard. “Baby, I’m sorry. Shhh,” Becky cooed. “He … said ...” Amanda tried to say. “I know. I know. He doesn’t mean it.” It was almost four years since Jamie had arrived, and while Jamie and Amanda had cross words before, they had almost always been the typical things bigs and littles get upset with each other over, boundaries and rules and the occasional bad mood. But even those arguments were rare, almost non-existent between the two of them. She was his favorite person, and he was hers. “I’ll go talk to him in a bit,” Becky assured her. Amanda had stopped crying but was still trying to get her breathing back under control. “C’mon,” Becky urged her. “Why don’t you go get a drink of water and wash your face.” Amanda got her drink and went upstairs, and Becky stood alone in the kitchen trying to think of how to do this better than they had planned. Amanda was his guardian, too, and Becky didn’t want that to change. She’d known it was unrealistic for Amanda to move out like any other sibling; it would hurt Amanda and Jamie too much. They’d decided to share custody, though what that meant specifically, they hadn’t yet decided. They wanted to include Jamie in those conversations, but it was clear he wasn’t ready to do that. Becky took a deep breath and walked down the hall to the nursery. She could hear muffled crying through the door. She debated knocking and decided to just go in. A bunch of Jamie’s toys were on the floor, and there was a dent in the drywall. Jamie was on his tummy, face buried in his well-worn bear, crying. He turned his head to the side with his eyes closed and said, “Get out! I don’t wanna talk to you.” “It’s me, Jamie,” Becky said gently, closing the door behind her. Jamie stood up, dropped his bear, and stumbled head down into Becky’s arms as she knelt down to catch him. His face smothered in her chest, he resumed wailing. “Shhhh,” she tried to calm him, “shhhh. There, there. You’re okay, Baby Bear.” It seemed to have no effect, but after half a minute he resumed his quiet tears and shaking sobs as she held him tight and tried to comfort him by rubbing circles on his back. She picked him up and sat down in the rocker with him. After a few more minutes, he sat up, tear streaks on his face and his nose running freely. He wiped his nose with his sleeve and sobbed again, “I don’t want her to go,” before collapsing back onto Becky’s shirtfront. “I know, Baby Bear. I know,” she cooed. Becky wanted to cry as much as he did for how hurt both her babies were. It was as draining for her as for them, and she’d been thinking about this for over a year. She finally felt him stop sobbing, and he laid limp against her. She stood up and carried him to the changing table, where with one hand she pulled a wipe from the warmer and held it to his nose. “Blow.” He did, and he did so hard she was afraid he’d hurt his ears. She dropped the wipe in the diaper pail and grabbed another to wipe off his face. “How do you feel,” she asked. “I have a headache.” “I bet you do. Wanna just go to bed?” “Yes.” “Okay.” She sat him on the edge of his crib. “I’ll be right back.” She left and came back with a cup of littles’ cold medicine, which she held to his lips and he drank. She hoped the nighttime formula would help him to sleep and make his head feel better. He sat silently while she pulled his clothes off and tossed them into his hamper. He laid himself down, and she turned to pick up his bear. She laid it beside him, checked his diaper, pulled the covers up half way, and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Everything will be alright, Baby Bear, I promise,” she tried to reassure him. He wasn’t sure he believed her. “He’s asleep,” Becky said when she went upstairs and found Amanda laying on her own bed clutching a pillow. “I feel awful,” Amanda groaned. “I know. So do I.” “But you’re not the one doing this to him,” Amanda said, so angry with herself. Becky sat on the edge of the bed and closed her eyes, sighing again and shaking her head. “You’re not doing anything to him. This happens to everyone, whether it’s a little or a sibling or even a parent and child.” Becky was purposefully not telling her how hard Amanda’s moving out was for her, too; she didn’t want to pile on. “This is like when Dad left,” Amanda said. “Is it really?” “Sort of. At first.” Amanda had gone through all the normal emotions of a kid whose parents were getting divorced. Only later, when she was older, did she realize she didn’t miss him or even had ever really liked him. “Except this time I’m the asshole who’s leaving.” “Oh, Manda, stop.” It hurt her to hear her daughter being so hard on herself. “You’re just growing up is all, and you’re not even leaving. You’ll see him most days.” Amanda didn’t respond and instead choked on another sob, closing her eyes and setting a few more tears loose when she opened them. “I made him cry. I don’t think I’ve ever done that before.” “Oh, baby girl,” Becky cooed as she bent at the waist to lay her head gently on Amanda’s shoulder. “He’ll forgive you. Probably by morning.” “You think so,” Amanda sniffed. “Yes. He loves you more than anything. You know that.” “How are we gonna do this, Mom? It ... it just hurts.” Amanda’s stomach was tied in a bitter knot. “I know, baby girl. I know.” Becky let a few tears of her own go. Her baby girl was moving out, and both her babies’ hearts were wounded, and Becky, too, was sad. In a few months, she’d wake up one morning, one morning when it was Amanda’s turn to have Jamie, and her home would be empty.
  2. Now available on Amazon with a preview of Volume 2 Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07SP7Q3WD Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1071417185 _______________________________________ Chapter 1 “So why are you here?” She smiled when she said it; you could tell it was routine, the first question she always asked, and the smile was just good service. Staring across the desk, slumped in his chair, not sure where to put his hands or how to answer and preserve some pride, Eric didn’t respond right away. “I guess … I just don’t want to be here anymore,” Eric replied while keeping his eyes on the desk. Cheryl was used to this. Not many people who came to an adoption center wanted to talk about it. Except the exhibitionists; they wouldn’t stop talking about it, but it was obvious from his body language and mumbling tone that Eric wasn’t here for any of those reasons. “I understand, honey,” Cheryl said, softening her voice, “a lot of people feel that way. Can I ask you some questions about how you feel?” Eric knew what coming; he’d asked the same questions himself more times than he cared to remembered. He nodded. “Do you feel like hurting yourself?” “No.” Flat, matter of fact, and truthful. “Have you ever felt like hurting yourself?” “No.” “Do you feel like hurting someone else?” “No.” Have you ever felt like hurting someone else?” “No.” Cheryl ticked off boxes on her iPad while Eric waited patiently. “I’m so glad to hear that. Can I ask a few more?” She didn’t pause for him to answer. “Have you ever been diagnosed with any of the following? Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, Depression, Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Personality Disorder, Dissociative disorder?” “Just depression and anxiety,” Eric said as he pushed back in his chair and exhaled. He’d been with depression for eight years and had this conversation with every new doctor and therapist he’d been to in that time. It was boring. Before Cheryl could get her next word out, Eric answered her next question. “I’m taking 150mg of Bupropion once a day and Xanax as needed. I’ve was seeing a therapist every other week until about 6 months ago. Her names is in the paperwork I brought with me. I’d say my depression and anxiety are both well controlled.” “Good,” she said, “That’s all good. Do you mind if I call your therapist to talk with her?” “No, that’s fine.” “Good. I need to be sure your decision isn’t being influenced by your depression or anxiety. So, back to what you were saying earlier, you ‘don’t want to be here anymore.’ Can you tell me more about that?” Cheryl leaned forward, trying to help Eric engage. “I’m work for the county…I’m a social worker…” Cheryl was practiced at this. Nod, say nothing, the client will fill the silence when they’re ready. “I … I …” Eric sucked in air and held back a sob. “I just can’t stay here anymore. I can’t … keep doing this.” Cheryl pushed her box of tissues toward Eric, who reached into his pocket and pulled out a cotton handkerchief. Dabbing at his eyes, he said started again. “Kenard Bering was my client. You probably didn’t hear about that. Good kid, not a trouble maker; wasn’t going to be any project to Harvard story, but he was on track, ya know. And he gets shot over a fucking cellphone.” Tears dripped, and Eric occasional wiped them away as he fell into a soliloquy: “Second kid in a year killed ……………. Dies at school from a fucking asthma attack. When’s the last time you heard of anyone dying from a fucking asthma attack ……………. And this asshole cop says to this 14 year old, ‘well, what are you doing to make your mother hit you? I couldn’t believe it, I … who the fuck says that or even thinks that way? How do you send a kid home who doesn’t want to go home? ……………. Burned ……………. Dropped out ……………. Caught with a weapon his mother game him. And that was after she beat him for losing a fight ……………. But so what if he graduates, right? ‘Cause it’s not like there’s anything but a mop or an apron waiting for him out there ……………. Left her kid to sit in his own shit while she went to get high and doesn’t even tell the cop the kid is home alone ……………. Jail ……………. 12 years old and pregnant and bipolar and both parents on drugs – what can I even do for that? ……………. He had priors ……………. I lost him to the pipeline ……………. Caught out on a corner ……………. Neighborhood says the cops did it ……………. ……………. ……………. ……………. …………….” Eric had stopped crying. He wasn’t sad. He was angry and disgusted and indignant. “For every one I save, whatever that means, there’s five I don’t. It’s like watching a never ending catastrophe and it rips my guts out every time.” Tired now, he slumped back in his chair, “Everyone said give it a year, you’ll get hardened to it. And I never did. Eight years, never gets better, never gets worse. It just is. And I can’t do it anymore. I can’t see it anymore.” Cheryl nodded her, “Uh huh…” waiting to see if Eric had more to say. When she thought he was done, she asked, “That sounds very hard for you. Can you tell me, though, why go to the other dimension? That’s pretty drastic; couldn’t you just change jobs?” “No,” Eric answered, “Because I know it’s all out there. I can’t live with myself if I quit. Or at least I can’t do it here.” That made sense to her. A sad kind of sense. Eric sounded like the kind of person there are too few of, but those qualities that made him so valuable to everyone else were the same qualities that made him so unhappy. Classic burnout. It wasn’t the first time Cheryl had seen this in a client, but it was obviously the worst, and she understood how Eric could believe there would never be an end to it if he stayed. He might even be right, she thought. “Eric, I’m going to be very frank with you. The dimension is more like our world than a lot of people want to admit. In some ways, it’s much, much worse, the way they treat people like us. It’s different in different countries, but in some of them we’re not seen as people. If you’ve heard anyone compare it to slavery and torture, they weren’t wrong. How does that make you feel?” Eric wasn’t surprised. He’d heard it all. It was right there in the web forums: kidnapping, mutilation, mind alteration. Even “Island of Dr. Moreau.” “I know,” Eric replied. “That’s why I came here and not some other place.” “Because you know we only work with people who live in Itali?” “Yeah.” “Well, that was smart of you. Some people get impatient and will go anywhere, or just go somewhere in the dimension and take their chances. You seem like someone who does his research, but I just want to tell you some things to separate fact from fiction: · Itali only permits adoptions through license agencies like ours, and they only adopt direct from our dimension to Itali. Not from any of the other countries there. · While humans can live there independently with the same rights at Bigs, if you adopt yourself out, you’ll have the same rights as a minor there. Anything that is permissible for a Big to do to their own children can be done to you. Anything that is impermissible for a Big to do to their own children cannot be done to you. · You can select the stage of life you wish to begin with as a Little: newborn, infant or toddler. Those are the only choices. That is binding on the Bigs who adopt from us. However, they retain the right to decide the details associated with your stage of life, which may vary from your expectations. Whether and at what pace you progress through life stages, and what point, if any, you stop progressing, is up to the Big. If you choose or consent to it, your Big may further regress you from your current stage at any time. · You’ll notice we call them Bigs. They call us Littles. ‘Amazon’ is a pejorative there. · There’s no amending the adoption agreement. It says what it says. We can make your wishes known to prospective parents, but they can break any promise they make. But we don’t adopt out to just anyone. We thoroughly inspect all of our clients. We wouldn’t work with them if we believed they were bad people. · Our adoption agreement prohibits the following: o Involuntary physical or mental alteration o Giving, selling, or trading Littles o Having custody of any Little not adopted through an agency licensed in Itali o Violations of any Itali laws; suspicion of violations to be investigated, with a preponderance of evidence sufficient to be considered a violation of this agreement o Withholding or unduly delaying adequate medical care o Abuse, neglect, or negligence as defined by The Agency; suspicion of abuse, neglect, or negligence to be investigated, with a preponderance of evidence sufficient to be considered a violation of this agreement o Traveling with the Little to, or sending the Little to, any country where any of the above are not expressly forbidden by law · We have offices in Itali that conduct surprise inspections and work with the authorities there. If they find any violation of the adoption agreement, under the treaty permitting inter-dimensional adoptions between us and Itali, the police are required by law take you into their custody and return you to us. · Unless your parents violate the adoption agreement, you must remain with them as their Little for 10 years. You can asked to be returned to us, but they are not obligated to comply. Conversely, they can return you to us whenever they choose. At the end of those 10 years, you can decide to stay their Little, return to us, or remain in Itali as a full and independent citizen. · Your property and assets with be placed in a trust our non-profit partner manages. If choose to return to us or to become an independent citizen after 10 years, your property will be returned to you less the what we spend eliminating any remaining debt you have here. If you choose to stay a Little after 10 years, your assets, property, and any interest are liquidated, the revenue will be used to pay off your debt, and anything left over will be donated to fund the non-profit. I just want to remind you that Itali is like here; there are good people and bad people. We only work with good, but if you’re looking for a Utopia, that’s not Itali. Does all that make sense? Do you have any questions?” “No. Well, I guess yeah – what happens next,” Eric asked. Eric was familiar with provisions like these. It was part of his job, dealing with foster parents and adoptions. This aligned closely to the laws of he was used to dealing with. He made a lot of those inspections over the years himself. “I know that was a lot to take in,” Cheryl answered, “It’s all in the paperwork I’m going to send you home with. If you have any questions, please reach out to me, and we will be testing you to ensure you read and understood the adoption agreement before we approve you for adoption. So next I’m going to process all the information on those forms we asked you to bring in, then I’m going to call you doctors and last therapist. Our compliance department is going to run the background check you’re allowing us to do, and that includes all of your financial history so we know what we’re taking on when if you decide to move forward. Once that’s done, I’ll be in touch. It usually takes about 10 days for the average person. I’m guessing because of your job you’re going to appear in a lot of court records, so it may take longer. And in the meantime you just go about your life like normal. Don’t make any drastic decisions; don’t go on a spending spree; don’t do anything dangerous or stupid. Anything like that has the potential to cause us to reject your application. If you have any questions, you can call me or one of our licensed therapists – I really encourage everyone to do that anyway. And if at any time you change your mind and want to just forget this, we can do that, too; everything here is confidential, and all your records will be destroyed. Do you have any more questions right now?” With her monologue done, Eric thought for a moment. It was a lot to take in, and even though he was far from the end of it, everything seemed very real now. “Uh, not a question really. Can I tell you one thing I’m looking for in a Big,” Eric asked. “Of course.” Eric felt sheepish. He’d thought about this a lot, and he was embarrassed by it, as if this entire thing weren’t embarrassing. “I don’t know what life stage I want to start at, but, uh, can you, um, put it in my file that I don’t think I ever want to grow up again?” “I can’t promise your Big would abide by that, but I will put it in your file, and we’ll try do our best to find a Big who wants the same as you. Anything else?” “No,” Eric said as he stood up and stuck his hand out. “Thank you for your help. I’ll do all the things you said.” “Thank you for coming in today,” Cheryl replied as she shook Eric’s hand. As Eric reached the door, Cheryl felt compelled to add, “Eric, we’re going to make sure everything turns out right for you. I’ll make sure. And while all this is going on, please … just try to take care of yourself … for me.” Eric nodded and left. Cheryl liked Eric. She had a soft spot for people who had soft spots, and she knew people like Eric were worth protecting. We need more people like him in this world, Cheryl thought, but he needs something else. She understood why Eric wanted to be with a Big who didn’t want him to grow up: so he’d never have to see the kinds of things he saw everyday here. Returning to her desk, Erica started taking in on her notes for the file: Eric is 29 years old and suffers from depression and anxiety which are well controlled with medication … overwhelmed by work and the suffering he sees in the world … is educated and intelligent … is a sensitive and kind person … appears physically healthy … exhibits signs of PTSD, though he has not been diagnosed, and may benefit from therapy post-adoption … will likely need substantial emotional support ... did not admit to any fetish as a motivator .. may have trouble adapting ... desires to NOT progress from initial stage of life … will likely match best with a female head of household looking to dote on her Little and who has a large support network …
  3. I've been a lurker here forever, but there are so many great stories lately that I just had to try my hand. Making The Best of It I awoke to the becoming-familiar view of the carrier frame. The sunshade was pulled forward, its multicolored flowers staring at me from the padding, with store shelves gliding by beyond them. Apparently we were stopping at the store, not that I had any say in it. Just to check, I tried to push the pacifier out of my mouth, but the Amazon who took me remembered to inflate the nipple and it was going nowhere. I blinked the sleep from my eyes and let my aching bladder go, there was no sense in trying to hold it any longer. I hadn't seen a toilet in weeks anyway. The shopping cart stopped moving and I found myself staring at an impossibly happy Little on a package of diapers who was exclaiming, "Mommy, I'm wet! Aren't you proud of me?". Given that there were stacks of diapers in the nursery that were taller than I was, I wasn't sure why we were here... but the second I heard Lisa's voice, I knew it wasn't good. "I'm just saying, she's a bit of a brat, that's all," Lisa's voice grated on me, she was the kind of person who thought everyone should do things her way, it would just be easier... we didn't get along at all. My "Mommy" April was kinder than many Amazons I'd seen, but that didn't change the fact that I was being held against my will and forced to wear diapers and everything that went along with it. She continued, "You should just swaddle her for a month or two and see if that makes her more appreciative." "Lisa, she's a good girl. You're overreacting," April objected, calming the sudden lurch in my tummy just a bit, "She didn't bite you on purpose, you stuck your finger in her mouth while she was eating." I blushed a bit.. it was true, she was checking to see if I was eating something I wasn't supposed to... which I was. And I did bite her on purpose, but I "freaked out" and apologized right away, so it looked like an accident. It was twisted, but I knew April loved me and that she wouldn't let anything truly bad happen to me, unlike her "good friend" Lisa. There was just something about the way Amazons were wired... they needed to "take care" of something. Most of them had extra love to give, like April. Some just needed to have extra control, like Lisa. "I saw her grab that candy without asking, I just know it," Lisa grumbled, "Look - they put out a new diaper for swaddled Littles." The cart rolled forward and I found myself looking at another happy Little. This one was laying down, wearing a short pink t-shirt and an unbelievable diaper... the padding extended from above her navel to just above her knees and each of her legs were splayed out at almost a 45 degree angle from her body. There was absolutely no way that Little was moving anywhere on her own... but the smile looked real, her eyes were smiling too. Her word bubble read, "Now I won't leak for sure!" I had heard that there were people from my dimension that came here voluntarily to be Littles. It was true that back home we all worked too hard, and after a lifetime of that... I could see why the idea of trading away all their freedoms in exchange for the love and care of an Amazon could be enticing. I wondered if they were real as I shifted a bit in the carrier, the harness holding me down fast to the padding. I could reach the release button, but I didn't have the strength to push it. I had tried many times. "Hm, no.. I don't think I want to swaddle my little Kimmy," I heard April say with a touch of distance in her voice... she was considering it, "But look at these!" she finished with a giggle. "Oh.. oh my, those are adorable.. they're new too. You should get a pack, it will be so cute to watch Kimmy waddle in those," Lisa chuckled as well, the malice disappearing from her voice, "She won't see it coming. C'mon, April - do it for me." "Oh, all right," April let out a tiny, mock sigh, "But only because I love you so much." I heard a package being placed in the cart and closed my eyes quickly and pretended to sleep. My mind reeled at what new devices the Amazons could have thought up to torment their Littles. I must have pursed my lips in thought, because the next thing I knew, my pacifier was being removed and replaced by the nipple of a bottle. I started draining it immediately while April looked down into the carrier, fawning over me. The love in her giant green eyes was real... I liked her too, she was a very nice lady, but this wasn't exactly my ideal relationship. She brushed a strand of her reddish-brown hair from her face while she watched me, her smile as big as her heart. "There we go, sweetie. I thought I felt you stir. You're a bit dehydrated. You're such a good girl for drinking without any fuss," she cooed at me. Lisa rolled her eyes and we leisurely strolled through the store until the bottle was finished. "Please," I said the second the nipple was out of my mouth, the sweet taste of the apple juice still lingering.. but I was cut off before I could say another word, the pacifier back in my mouth and three pumps to the shield had it inflated and I was silenced again. "Shh, baby, you've said enough today. You're going to be quiet for the rest of the day, we already talked about this. I'm proud of you for drinking all of your juice," she said as she stroked my cheek, "We'll get you another bottle when we get home." "You really do love her, huh?" I heard Lisa's voice from the world-beyond-the-carrier. It wasn't derisive, it was admiring. "She's the best decision I ever made, Lisa. I hope get to know how it feels some day," she said wistfully. I sighed and sucked loudly on the pacifier. It made April happy to hear me using the pacifier, and it was hard not to want to make her happy.. especially since I didn't have much else to do anyway. It was hard to imagine that this time two weeks ago, I was stressed out over programming deadlines and chainsmoking my way to an early grave. I didn't take very good care of my body, I didn't really care what went in it, I ate awful foods and drank too much, never worked out. Who had time? If you couldn't meet the deadlines for the job, there were 100 people just waiting to take your spot, so you did your best no matter what and always gave 110%. I looked down at the pink striped snap-crotch onesie I was wearing now with its tiny ruffle "skirt" that did nothing to cover any part of my legs, it was a pretty far cry from my preferred style. I was never a clothes horse, I liked cute clothes but didn't obsess over it... I was a boho girl, the style just felt right, the heavy jewlery and hippy clothes. It was low-ish effort and attractive. I was beginning to doubt I'd ever get to dress myself again. I hadn't worn shoes in over a week now, I barely walked anywhere now and never outside the house, but my body was in better shape than ever. The technology of this dimension was astounding. They repaired my lungs and fixed all the issues from my alcohol abuse and malnutrition.. they even whitened my teeth. Physically, I felt better than I ever had before. Not that it was worth the cost though. I missed the conversation between April and the cashier while I was lost in thought, but I had no doubt there was some comment passed about "how lucky" April was or some such nonsense, we couldn't go anywhere without someone cooing. I knew I missed it because I felt the warm sunlight land on my legs and heard April sing, "My little Kimmy, cute as a bug. My little Kimmy, needs a big hug." She was always coming up with little tunes and silly songs. She was a professional studio musician, she had musical instruments all over her house. I continued to suck the pacifer loudly for her benefit, and I couldn't help but smile. I tried to get a look at what she had bought as she whisked the carrier into the car and snapped it into the holder, but she was too fast for me. I tried to give her a pleading look so I could at least ask what was in store for me, but in moments I was giggling around the pacifier in response to the bevy of kisses landing on my face and her tickling fingers. I was on the smaller side for Littles, so the carseat was rear-facing. All I had was a view of the back seat of April's car.. and her big green eyes looking at me from time to time in the mirror she had mounted so we could see each other. I heard the car start and felt us beginning the drive to her house and started to let my mind drift again... I did that a lot lately, it was actually kind of relaxing. But my relaxation didn't last long. "So you're actually going to go out with that bassist tomorrow? Am I still babysitting? I'm still half-expecting you to back out," I heard Lisa ask and I suddenly felt a flash of fear and... something else I couldn't put my finger on, but suddenly biting her seemed like a really, really poor choice on my part. "Yeah, seems nice and I haven't dated anyone at all in months. I thought about calling it off, but I'm really glad you talked me out of it. I think this one has potential." "Oh good, you've barely left your house in a week, I don't think it's good for you." "Well, I can't exactly take my little bundle of joy into the bars with me, darling." I felt my cheeks burn at April's gentle laugh. "Oh believe me, I know," Lisa sounded like she was pouting a bit and that fear intensified. If Lisa decided to take out her frustrations on me, there wasn't exactly a lot I could do about it.. and the idea of being alone with her tomorrow did not sound fun. "We used to go out three nights a week, I just miss you." "Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I don't really want to be separated from Kimmy right now, it's very important that we make a strong bond. I want her to know how much I love her. Besides, you've seen me plenty - you've been over almost every night this week." I heard Lisa squeak the way she does when April pokes her in the tummy. "Yeah, it's just not the same - we need to go OUT." "We can go out, we'll just have to go to more family friendly places for a bit," I could see April's eyes smile in the mirror, "Maybe we should start looking for a Little of your very own." "I don't know, April - it seems like a lot of work, and you don't get to go out any more, why would I want to do that?" "Hopefully Kimmy can help you find the answer to that tomorrow night."
  4. I always wondered what it was like to grow old in the diaper dimension, so I put this little ficlet together. I hope you enjoy. * * * * Suzie had a life before the diaper dimension, though she could hardly remember it. More than half her lifetime had passed since waking up in the adoption centre, lost in a land of giants where ‘Littles’ like her were regarded as infants; and though she resisted at first she eventually found happiness in being a baby. More than that, she found happiness in the arms of an Amazon Mommy named Katherine. She glanced between the bars of her crib and to the full length mirror on the other side of the room. There staring back was a little girl wearing a loose-fitting, green-hooded onesie with felt reptile spikes running down the back. Her greying brunette hair sat in pigtails, and the smile behind her pacifier pressed up the slight wrinkles around her eyes. Though youth had passed her by, she still had the heart of a little girl, and for all her days would never let it grow up. What a tragedy it would be to lose to lose her innocence for a second time. The door creaked open, and Suzie started to her feet. “Mommy!” she cried through her pacifier; except that it wasn’t Mommy. It was Julia, Mommy’s biological daughter, and fellow Amazon. Despite being half Suzie’s age Julia towered over her. The Amazon’s presence filled the room, though not as warmly as Mommy did. Still, Julia was nice. She was sweet and loving, and considered adopting a little of her own. Now Suze’s ‘little sister’ had outgrown her, and was an adult in her own right; something that Suzie would never be again. “Mommy’s having a pain day, little one,” Julia said. “I’ll get you changed and take you right to her.” Poor Mommy. The inflammation in her joints seemed to get worse every year. It had come to the point where she could no longer bend to pick Suzie from the floor. Instead Julia’s husband thought to install ramps in every room to waist level surfaces, where Suzie could crawl up and meet her Mommy halfway. Of course Suzie didn’t crawl anymore. That was the one ‘Little’ thing she’d been forced to leave behind. Her knees couldn’t take it. Suzie fussed under her ‘little sister’ all throughout the change; not because she was embarrassed - the shame of wearing diapers and wetting herself passed decades ago - but because she was impatient. She wanted to see her Mommy, now! It took all her self control to keep from jumping up and scampering naked toward the master bedroom. “Hold still, you cheeky little monkey,” Julia sighed. “I’m big enough that I can spank you now, remember?” It was all the warning that Suzie needed. Julia’s spankings hurt - likely her revenge for all the teasing when they were both small. The little girl squealed with delight when they were done, and practically jumped into Julia’s arms. Finally, she could see her Mommy! She loved her Mommy in so many ways; her chubby cheeks radiated with affection, and her smile was the brightest rainbow. Laying in her Mommy’s arms were what she imagined clouds felt like when the angels lazed, and her sing-song voice a heavenly chorus that lifted her spirits high. They passed through the hall and rounded into the master bedroom. Even laid out on the bed with a pained expression Mommy was the most divine creature to ever exist. She lit up, just like Suzie did, as soon as her little girl entered her view. She lifted her arms to meet her baby. “Come here, little one.” Suzie tumbled out of her sister’s embrace and planted her head between Mommy’s breasts. The impact likely caused the Amazon to hurt, but she didn’t complain. Little ones were needy, and didn’t understand their own strength. “How’s my little girl today?” “Good, now that I’m with you,” Suzie muttered. She clung tight, stretching her arms wide to embrace as much of Mommy as she could. The little girl smiled up to her sister, as if to say thank you for bringing them together. Julia smiled back, warmed by the picture of a loving family. A lonely pang sparkled in her eye - the desire for a family of her own. Katherine held her little girl tighter in one arm, and squeezed her daughter’s hand with the other. Time made things difficult, but they would endure. They were a family, and that was all that mattered.
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  14. “This is stupid,” Bonnie said. She held her tummy and the butterflies gurgling inside. Strange things were going on in the next room - her room, that she shared with her girlfriend of three years - things that were not even thought about in the everyday world. Claire called from the open door. “This is your fantasy, birthday girl,” she said. “Don’t get cold feet now!” Of all the fetishes to have this one belonged to Bonnie, and she hated it. Why couldn’t she have been landed with something more normal, like a fixation on feet? Instead she craved the soft caress of a diaper against her backside and a mother’s touch, like something straight out of a Freudian casebook. “Are you coming, sweetpea?” Claire poked her head around the doorframe, and beamed. Playing a maternal role was something she’d always dreamed about, though probably not like this. She didn’t laugh or tease when her girlfriend spilled her guts late one night as they lay pillow to pillow, and had only been understanding since. Bonnie almost prayed for a freakout - then she wouldn’t have to go through with this embarrassing game she wanted more than anything in the world. She padded with tiny steps into the bedroom with fists balled at her sides. Her eyes fixed shut, not daring to look at the spread Claire had set out for them. The faint scent of baby powder tickled her nose, sending shivers down her spine. Why, why did she ever open her stupid mouth? Claire’s warmth wrapped around her, and stroked the back of Bonnie’s neck. Her other hand curled around the base of her spine, drawing her close until their bodies pressed together. The dip in Claire’s collarbone seemed a custom fit for Bonnie’s head, and radiated with the sweet scent of her perfume. She whispered in a sing-song tone that only someone with motherhood in their heart could know. “It’s okay, baby girl. I’ve got you. You’re safe with Mommy.” Bonnie’s thoughts melted into jelly, and sloshed all around inside her. She was falling in love again, and hating it - but more than that she was adoring it, and felt need swelling; to open that door, to be small, and to lose herself in the arms of someone safe. She didn’t realize she’d been crying until Claire lifted her chin and brushed away a tear. Her Mommy was all smiles and caring, more than Bonnie had ever known. “Are you ready for your change?” she asked. Bonnie bit her lip. “Do I get to say no?” “Of course you do,” Claire said. “This is your fantasy. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, okay?” Bonnie nodded. Her breath caught in her throat, and was heavy. “But I think you’d regret it if you turned back now,” Claire said. God, why did she have to be so understanding all the time? She nodded and stilled herself, knowing what she said was true. Claire hummed. “Good girl.” The words tickled the would-be little girl with joy. “Now we get you undressed, okay, little one?” Bonnie’s eyes remained closed throughout. It was easier to be small when she couldn’t see, and with every touch she regressed just a little bit more. Though they’d seen each other naked a million times she flushed with shame when Claire pulled down her panties and tights, releasing her clitty from its tuck. “You’re so pretty,” Claire giggled, and ran fingertips down her little girl’s hips. Then she laid tiny kisses along her stomach and the outside of her thighs, which aroused just as much as they tickled. Her girlfriend’s clitty stirred, even if Bonnie hid behind her hands. Lifting herself from her knees Claire ran her hands up her little girl’s side, this time with a firm hold that kept her in place. Bonnie’s gasp betrayed her touch had the desired effect. “Arms up, little girl,” she said. Bonnie did as she was told, and trembled as she did. The long sleeve shirt slipped effortlessly over the little’s head and down her arms, leaving her exposed before her fully clothed partner. She opened her eyes to the first time, and to the strong yet gentle demeanor Claire possessed. Somehow, she seemed taller. “Are you ready for the next step, sweetheart?” Bonnie looked to the bed, and froze again. For a tender moment she managed to lose herself, until the reality snapped in front of her. This was real, and so was her girlfriend, standing in the threshold of her deepest, darkest desire. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? I mean, this is great, and I’m having fun, but… I don’t want you to have to do this if it’s something you don’t like, and-” Her rambling ended with a kiss; the kind usually shared by new lovers discovering each other. Claire’s lips dominated Bonnie with heavy laps, and the taste of coffee mingled with chocolate. What seemed an eternity later Claire pulled away, and laid her gaze on the girl lost in her affection. “I want you to say my name,” she said, patiently. Bonnie blinked, and took a moment to register the question. “Claire…?” “No,” she said. “My name right now.” The word caught in Bonnie’s throat - it was too embarrassing to say! Yet the expectation drove her on, pushing her past her shame. She would do anything to make her partner proud of her, even that which scared her most. “M-Mommy…” “What was that, sweetheart?” “Mommy,” she said, this time with greater confidence. It had been worth it, because then she was wrapped up in her Mommy’s arms, and peppered with kisses and words of praise. “Good girl! Such a good girl for Mommy!” Bonnie was a good girl for Mommy - that was all she ever wanted, and she beamed with pride because of it. Joy swirled from the top of her head, and down to the bottom of her toes. The realisation was even better than she had dreamed. “Now, are you going to wear a diaper for Mommy?” The little stopped again, but only for a moment. They’d come so far together, and had to see it through to the end. Hopefully it wouldn’t spoil the scene they’d enjoyed up to that point. Bonnie looked down, and nodded. “O-o-okay,” she stammered. Claire reached for one of the items on the nearby bedside, and lifted a lime green pacifier to her partner’s lips. The plastic nipple was larger than the kind given to real babies, leading Bonnie to wonder just how much thought had been put into her birthday. Biting down on it felt right, comforting, like her mouth had rediscovered its original purpose. As comforting as her paci was in private it was even better in the presence of Claire who was cooing and smiling with greater enthusiasm. “Look what I have for you,” Claire said. She reached to the bed, and with one hand offered her little one a stuffed labrador with a soft, shiny golden coat, and a large red bow around her neck. Her squeak reached peak levels. “It’s Penny the Puppy!” Bonnie snatched the toy happily and wrapped it as tight as her arms could hold. It was the one aspect of her little life that hid in plain sight, which for the longest time she had explained as being for her anxiety. Now they both knew that Penny was so much more. “Come on, baby. Time to get you dressed again.” She guided Bonnie to the bed, making sure to be patient for her mincing little steps, and to the edge where a large, adult sized diaper lay open. Again, Bonnie fixed her eyes closed, but if that's what she needed then that was okay. “Lay down,” Claire sang, and turned her girl around. She plopped her bum down on the diaper with a loud crinkle, and shuffled her up so that Bonnie was in the right position. “Good, now legs apart…” Bonnie was obedient, and lifted her knees as wide as they would go. “Good girl!” It took everything the little had to keep from springing out the room, but the sound of her lover’s voice, her gentle touch, the smooth nipple in her mouth and the tickle of Penny’s fur combined were enough to put her at ease. When the powder fell like snow between her legs and tickled her all the way around she became even smaller, to a place where words had no meaning. Warm tingles ran up her body and swirled behind her eyes. “You are such a good girl,” Claire whispered. “I know how hard this is for you, little one, but I am so proud of you for sharing this with me. I love you very, very, very much.” Bonnie grinned behind her pacifier. Tiny and vulnerable she was pure and loved. Nothing else existed in the world but her and her Mommy. The diaper closed around her, and the tapes held her tight, like a hug around her underside that kept her from falling. At last she was safe, and all was good in the world. She reached upward and let Penny slip out of her arms, opening and closing her hands in a desperate attempt to reach Claire. Her new Mommy hummed and pulled her upright, and into her arms. Then she gave her little one a kiss on her pacifier, prompting a giggle from them both. “Happy birthday, sweet girl,” she said. By then Bonnie’s shame had utterly evaporated. The two women shared a new language, and would hopefully indulge it again and again.
  15. Hi Everyone! A new story from me. Dunno why I've started this, when I have two others going (no, I've not forgotten them, but I couldn't get this one out of my head, and just _had_ to work on it). This chapter is a bit dark, and I think I do also need to include a trigger warning, as there's a bit of abuse. Don't shoot me, it's needed to set the scene, and build the main characters. This story I got the idea from another on here recently, which shocked me a bit, but also had me thinking. There's a lot of crazy stuff happen in the Diaper Dimension, and this story is no different. I do love comments, criticism, suggestions for my stories. This story will be a slow burn (I definitely can't update once a day like my favourite stories here). I hope that this one will satisfy us all! Anyway, on with the show... Prologue - A Little called Daniel "Ouch!" The foot that landed on the 2x4 plastic blue block quickly retracted itself back into the air, as a giant hand came down and probed around the foot's sole for a sign of viscous liquid. Nope, none found was the result, even though it still hurt. "Daniel?" "Yes, mummy?", a little boy's high voice queried, with maybe an inflection of concern. "Have you finished playing with your blocks?" The little boy pondered the question, as the tone of it screamed trouble, a trap for the unwary. He knew the rule: blocks away when finished play. "Hold on, where are you?", the feminine voice added. A double trap. Now I'm really gonna pay, the boy thought. "Umm, in here...", he replied meekly, as he slowly popped his head out from behind the sofa. "What are you doing in there, little man?". Another question, but giggly, which quickly faded away as the woman knelt down towards her boy, looking intently at his face. There was to be no smile this time. "Umm, hiding". His face radiated embarrassment, maybe some shame. "Hiding from what, darling?". With concern, Lily reached out and touched young Daniel's chin, cradling it in her fingers, gently raising it so she could see through his bright blue eyes into his gentle but scarred soul. "The monsters...", he quietly spoke. "Your old family?" "Uhhuh", Daniel whispered, as he tried to nod his head, but his chin was trapped still in that very soft hand. He looked up, examining his mother's face, for signs of trouble. Lily made a point of looking around the room. The building blocks were randomly scattered out from the centre of the play room towards the entryway, in stark contrast to their normally being just randomly scattered everywhere within the play room. "They're not here Daniel. They're not in this world", she stated quietly. "But they told me my building was... wa... was... stupid!" Lily looked at the play mat in the middle of the room again. No building remained standing on it. She let out an audible sigh. "Did you knock it over, hon?" A gentle nod was the only response. Please don't be mad at me, he thought. They were mad, real mad. Which is what compelled him to destroy the thing that had taken two painstaking hours to build, and then go hide in fear of them, lest they hit him, again. His building had been magnificent though, he reminded himself. The blocks had been clicked together just so, the scaling absolutely perfect for the tiny figurines that were about to move into residence within it. But it wasn't good enough - it was never good enough. He was never good enough. So they hit him. His biological family destroyed him and his creativity. His dad, his brother - they were never satisfied. His mother simply didn't care. Not even when he ended up in the hospital. There were always excuses and blame when he was taken to the ER. The doctors would accept the words of the parent, and never ask Daniel what happened. He was always too afraid to tell them anyway, for fear of reprisals. That was until the fifth time he turned up, with a broken arm and a welt across his face clearly showing a partial hand print. That was the result of a savage beating after he was found in possession of a toy doll. He finally mustered up the courage to tell the authorities what really happened, after years of being constantly put down, smacked around, told he was a nobody? Told he was a failure. Even after the incident. His brother kept blaming him for what happened. His mother had disappeared, and no one would tell Daniel where she'd gone to. After Daniel told the truth, the evidence backed his story up, finally. Lily knew all this, all that went on that fateful day. She knew who "they" were. She'd been briefed by the adoption agency, warned even, after selecting Little Daniel, from the other Dimension. Both her and husband David agreed to take him exactly because of the qualities his old family seemed to hate so much. He was such a beautiful and gentle effeminate boy to Lily and Dave, and so deserved to be loved, and cared for, and be the centre of their attention. How could they do that to him, she screamed one day at her husband, after reviewing his case file. He was just an innocent little boy! A reminiscent teardrop emerged from her left eye, which was quickly wiped away by some shoulder movements. "Come here, baby", she softly asked. Daniel hesitated. Mummy was his saviour, his angel, Daddy was his rock, his protector. Both of them were his safe harbour. When the waves were ginormous out there and he felt himself floundering and adrift, he knew that he could retreat into their arms for safety and comfort and reassurance. He certainly needed all of that right now. So he pushed forward with his left leg, his right knee scraping along the soft carpet, his hands flat to the carpet holding the weight of his upper torso. His butt emitted a soft crinkle as he shuffled out from behind the lounge. His baby blue coloured pacifier swung in lazy arcs seemingly to the tune of his body gyrations, dangling from a ribbon filled with tiny teddy bears, its one pinned end clasped to the left collar of his baby-blue coloured terry cloth jumpsuit. As soon as his armpits were free of the lounge, his mum scooped him up and held him to her shoulder. She immediately sensed his fear, through his stiff body, and his trembling arms. Lily's heart melted as the boy's eyes filled with moisture, and he began to quietly sob against her chest. "I... I'm... s.. sorry, mummy", Daniel cried. Lily moved over to the lounge, and gently sat down, holding Daniel against her chest the entire time, a forearm resting vertically up the boy's back, the other supporting his padded butt. "What for, baby?", she asked. "They... they... they got to me", he sobbed. "Did you have a flashback again?". Lily recalled that tumultuous period soon after Daniel arrived. He'd be quite a normal Little boy, playing away quite happily, but then suddenly his face would go cloudy, ashen, his eyes glaze over, and he'd end up screaming, or running away to hide. Of course, the first few times it happened, Lily and David were quite shocked, frightened of what their newly adopted boy was experiencing. These episodes eventually led to one where he was so distraught and combative, they took him to Emergency, wherein he only calmed down after sedation. A junior doctor went so far to suggest he be Sectioned, which caused quite a stir. With his wife a mess, the boy's new father stepped in, and told the doctor where to go. "With all due respect, doctor, that is a bullshit copout, and you know it!", he angrily retorted, with his booming loud voice. A senior doctor suddenly appeared around the curtain at the foot of Daniel's bed. "Dr Misner, please go attend to the little in Bay 5, I'll deal with this case, thank you!", the new doctor commanded, watching as the junior disappeared off down the hall. He studied Daniel's chart for a few seconds before looking up towards the boy's father. "Hi, I'm Dr Funde, a senior consultant doctor here. I couldn't help but listen in on Dr Misner's advice", he stated with some embarrassment. "I'm really sorry. Sectioning someone is really quite a serious affair, even more so for a Little." "Does Daniel require that kind of intervention, Doc?", came a scared and confused lady's voice. Lily's hand clamped hard on her husband's forearm in anticipation of the guy's answer. "Mrs Eastwood, no, I don't think so", the doc carefully and compassionately replied. "Your boy came from an abusive family, right?" "Yes" "Have you considered counselling for him?" "Yes, we've already had him booked to see Mrs McPhee...", David answered, with the doctor immediately nodding. "Good choice" "... but she has a 6 week waiting period, so Daniel hasn't been able to see her yet", David concluded. As Dr Funde studied Daniel's notes for a clue, he asked an innocuous question. "Do you know what triggered this episode?" As Lily cradled the trembling Daniel against her chest, sitting comfortably on the lounge, she wondered what set him off this time, what he remembered of his past. His time with Dr McPhee was beneficial. He'd learnt coping mechanisms for when the flashbacks occurred, and had mostly been desensitised to them. But something kept coming back. His episodes were rare now, but frustratingly still occurring. She looked around the play room at the mass of scattered blocks. In amongst the carnage was a tiny red four-wheeled baby carriage, the infant figure still fixed in place. An instruction manual was on the floor nearby, opened to the page where the carriage was complete. "Daniel?" "Y... yes, mummy?", he whispered. "Was it the baby in the stroller that set you off?" Daniel sat at his desk, pondering the meaning of life, and his existence within it. His flat-panel LCD screen lit up the dark bedroom with a soft white glow, emitting the result of a few hours intense 3D modeling. He glanced at the building within the screen's limits. Was it good enough to submit as his final end of year work in a few weeks time? One room in particular was intricately modelled. Flowers adorned the walls in a strip just below the roof cornice, with an intricate white wainscotting adorning each wall. The room's furniture was very childish, almost infantile. None of the other rooms in the model were as detailed. He saved his work, tapped the on/off switch on the LCD panel, and dragged himself off into bed. The single bed itself was non-descript, his feet only just contained within its confines. Soon, he will have outgrown it - a child's bed, him being a late teen in his final year of high school. He was longing and dreaming to be called up into university, study architecture, and escape this house, this room, this bed. With a sigh, he rolled over onto his side, facing a grubby-cream wall of his bland featureless bedroom. He scoffed at the thought that he'd designed a room far surpassing this one. If only that room wasn't in virtual space, he embarassingly dreamt. His eyes gently closed, weary, strained from the glare of the monitor. He noticed the house around him was quiet, still, the big gum tree outside creaking its old wood in tune with the late night breeze. Feeling safe for the moment, he reached through the crack between his bed and the wall, and grabbed hold of a toy, easing it up through the narrow gap. "Hello Molly!", he whispered happily. The doll was tiny, only about 30cm long, and thin, and plastic. It had matted hair, and was missing most of its clothes. But Daniel didn't care. This rescued doll was his. "I built you something!" He kissed the doll on its forehead, and carefully placed it in the crook between his arm and body. A few minutes of play and sleep will do, he thought. Let her know he cared about her. He was curious to know why he found this inanimate object so fascinating. The first day he walked past her in the park he took little notice - she was just a lost toy, thrown away into the manicured garden by someone unknown. By the third day, her face was still staring up at him, playing with his mind, pleading with him to stop. On the fifth day, he did stop, bending down to examine the doll. She spoke to him, told him to take her home, please? "I can't do that", he whispered to her. On the eighth day, he was amazed the doll was still there. It had rained over the weekend, so dolly's exposed surfaces were a bit grubby with dirt. He picked her up, brushed dirt particles off the face, and examined what remained. "I can't take you home", he reminded it. Being very embarrassed by talking to a doll, he looked around the park to see if he was being watched. Why not? "Because its not right" Is it, not? With a sigh, he gently placed the doll back into its place in the garden and walked away. That night, all he could think about was that doll. With a tear forming and sliding down a cheek, his mind could only wonder whether the doll was crying at that moment, imagining that doll would probably never feel the loving touch from a little girl ever again. He cried himself to sleep. As he came through the park the next afternoon on his way home from school, he picked that doll up, apologised for being so insensitive to it, popped it into his school bag, and continued home. Over the next few days, he got to know his little "Molly" doll. He'd hidden her under the bed, only daring to play with her at night. As he stealthily interacted with her each time, he explored his own feelings around what it meant to be in love with a girl's toy, and the joy he gained whilst playing with it. Yawning, he decided to pretend she was finally asleep, so stroked her nose, and laid her head on his pillow. Just a few more minutes of make-believe, he concluded. Then he'd put her back in her hiding spot. The early morning sun poked above the horizon. Daniel's east-facing window captured the rays streaming from the bright globe hanging tentatively out there, filtered the harshness out of the hot morning summer rays, and emitted them through cracks in the venetian blinds. Some of those rays struck Daniel's face, causing him to stir. His hearing was the first to alert him to impending trouble, as the floorboards creaked and moaned under the weight of someone heavy approaching his bedroom door. It opened up to reveal a hulking great man, who seemed a bit annoyed at having to once again be the boy's alarm clock. Daniel's hearing alerted his brain , which sent a jolt of adrenaline through his body, startling him awake, causing him to open his eyes and look around to the door. "Wake up, you stupid boy!", dad boomed as he opened the door fully, taking a step into the room. "Your late!" Daniel sat up, bleary-eyed but alert, his feet swinging out from under the bed sheets. What was the time? Why is dad...? Oh shit! As he stood up fully, the doll fell off his body, and clattered to the floor. Daniel's first instinct was to reach for the doll, but as he did so, his father took another step, and sent a hand sailing across Daniel's face. The boy's bodily momentum changed in that instant. His head twisted from the blow, causing his body to twist in unison, and he fell to the floor bloodied and bruised. "You fucking pedo!" Daniel could do nothing else but groan in response. "What the fuck is this?!". The man bent over and snatched up the doll by its hair. Daniel looked up towards his old man, his eyes almost shut from the pain of the blow, but they could see enough of Molly. With a fist full of Molly's hair, she was being shaken like a rag doll. "What the actual fuck is this?!" Blinded by pure rage, the man threw the doll in a random direction as he turned to head back out the door, flinging it with some force. Daniel watched with abject horror as the doll sailed across the room, smashing head first into the top right corner of the LCD screen. As the doll ricocheted towards the ceiling, the panel spun around on its mount before tipping over the edge of his desk, hitting the corner of a bookcase as it fell. Daniel was frozen in place for a long time, staring intently at the large intricate bullseye crack in the LCD. The panel was ruined. That panel was his pride and joy, pictures of which all his nerdy mates oogled over at school, an item that took him a very long time saving up enough money to buy. Fuck him, Daniel thought. Fuck them! As anger and frustration finally boiled within him, he cracked and let out a blood curdling scream, his face transitioning to glow beetroot red from the exertion. His eyes locked onto his computer, a birthday gift from his parents, begrudgingly supplied for his final year in school. Without any hesitation, he stood up, grabbed it in both hands, and headed out of his room, not stopping to unplug anything. He failed to recognise that he was causing more carnage as cables tore out of whatever they were plugged into. With a final forceful yank of the computer, resistance from the final cable disappeared, and he was out the door. Down the hallway his mum stood worried, her hand at her mouth, but he turned the other way, towards the front door. "Daniel, wait!", she cried feebly. As Daniel reached the open front door, he turned to look at his father, who was standing in the middle of the lounge room staring at a blank TV screen. "You know what? FUCK YOU TOO!", Daniel screamed and spat, before lifting the computer above his head, and smashing it down onto the tiled entranceway. He didn't hang around to watch as bits flew in every direction. The plastic case protecting the fragile interior stood no chance, and electronic parts separated off the motherboard to fly into the roof and walls, bits striking the man in the legs like a swarm of bees. Daniel saw none of it, running down the street as fast as his legs could propel him. The park always seemed so tranquil, and still first thing in the morning, yet Daniel took no notice. He raced through the tiered gardens, and found a spot in a low-tiered hollow, behind a strand of trees. No one would be able to see him there. With his energy and adrenaline reserves completely empty, he collapsed onto his hands and knees, shaking and panting hard. The sobs came thick and fast, the cries a plenty, the tears free flowing, as he mourned for what his life had become. He finally stopped crying some time after lunch, totally exhausted and spent, both emotionally and physically. His face stung from the old man's blow as he rubbed it slowly clean of the dried blood, sweat, snot and expired tears. Rolling over onto his back, staring up at the lush green canopy of leaves above him, he wondered why he was born into such a fucked up life and family. He reflected on how hard it was to please his father - it seemed that everything he attempted was shit and half-arsed in his old man's eyes. And now he'd just been called a pedo. Daniel shook his head at that. How does playing with a doll equate to being a pedo? "Fuck him", he thought aloud. "Asshole would call me anything but his son, so fuck him" The canopy shifted position as the cooling afternoon sea breeze wafted through the park. Daniel relished the sensual touches of the air movements across his arms, luxuriating in the coolness, before it all disappeared. That'd be right, he mused. A loving embrace lost to the wind. In that moment, he thought of his mum. The one person in his life that seemed to be on his side, or maybe neutral. But it had been so long since he had a cuddle from her. He started to sob once more as he realised he'd not been touched affectionately by anyone in his family for months. The only times he'd be touched were those times he was beaten by his dad, or his brother. He so needed a cuddle, told he was loved, told he was important, that he was someone, that he had a future. At this point in his life, he just felt like a punching bag. Lily looked down at her Little boy. His blonde hair was long, and fine, and silky to the touch. She reflected on how this was one of his most endearing features, so she let her fingers slide through the strands slowly, massagingly. Daniel stirred against her chest. He'd stopped sobbing some time ago, and just lay against her chest breathing slowly, eyes open but focused on nothing in particular. Sure, Lily had things to do, but at times like this, she knew Daniel needed the reassurance and love to get past whatever frightened him, for however long it took. She looked down over his body towards the tiny red pram and baby, both made of blocks. She was right - he had triggered over them. But why remained a bit of a mystery. She remembered what triggered his massive episode which earned him that trip to the hospital. She had her sister Mary over, and Daniel was watching Mary's toddler daughter have her nappy changed along with a change of clothes. For some reason he couldn't handle the scene, and quickly became moody, screamed and shouted over anything, refused to do whatever he was told, and finally resorted to being outright combative to Lily and Mary. They had no idea how to settle the boy, who was so wound up like a spring, he was hurting himself through his exertions. It was when he started turning blue during his fights with Lily, and then with David after he rushed home from work, that they decided to call an ambulance and get him off to the ER. What was it about that scene, she wondered. Mary's girl was adorable, and Daniel took a real liking to her. Even though he was much older than the girl, he was a Little, and found great joy and fun playing with her. Daniel loved playing with the girl as an equal, not as a big cousin. When she had a bottle, he had a drink from a cup with a straw - when she had a nap, he joined her in that as well. Lily pondered that juxtaposition too. Normally, littles shied away from interacting with Amazon babies and toddlers, as they were often sen as dolls. Daniel wasn't regressed - Lily and David had refused the option to have him done during the adoption process. They wanted him to be him, and to nurture his loving and caring nature. He was utterly fascinated by the process Mary went through changing the girl's nappy. Was it the loving touches? The affection? The attention that Mary was giving her baby? Maybe the nappies themselves? Daniel wasn't in nappies at the time. He is now though, Lily mused. That idea came from Dr McPhee. Introducing nappies into Daniel's life changed him in a positive way, almost immediately too. He became much more settled, and less prone to suffering flashbacks. So Lily pushed further, by introducing items that were more and more babyish. Every item, Daniel responded positively to. Maybe, all he needed was to be babied, like the other Littles around him? So she did exactly that. With Dr McPhee's advice, Daniel had slowly been encouraged to become her Little baby Daniel, and he loved it. She looked down at the close to sleeping boy, and popped his paci into the boy's yawning mouth. "Sshhh, baby. Mummy is going nowhere. Ok?" Daniel twitched and fidgeted for a while, but otherwise lay completely still. Occasionally, he'd let out a sigh, but then started crying, even though he was fast asleep. "What on earth is going on with you, baby?", Lily muttered. She could do nothing to help, bar give cuddles and reassurance. As the sun continued its descent back towards the horizon, Daniel's thirst got the better of him, forcing him to emerge from his hiding spot. He scaled a few of the tiers in the garden, and walked towards the play area, where he knew there was a water bubbler. On approach, he heard giggling and laughing within a climbing castle, so stopped behind some bushes to see who it was. After all, he still had his pyjamas on, which were filthy with dirt and grass clippings. He certainly didn't need to add embarrassment to the pile of shit he was experiencing right now! The "girl" turned out to be two of them, who appeared after a few minutes from the castle to jump on the swings. One was wearing a yellow sundress, whom Daniel soon focused on. In disgust and shame, he turned away from the scene. A minute later, he stole a glance back at the girl in the yellow dress. She was all smiles and happiness, swinging away, her dress billowing and flowing in the wind caused by her swings. So carefree, such a different life. What would it be like if he... no. Why was his face flushed, embarrassed? He looked away, sat down, and forced himself to wait, even though his heart was all a flutter, and his mind craving more information about the girl in the yellow dress. "No, I'm not looking!", he muttered. The girls soon finished their play session, right on dusk, and sauntered off home, allowing the park to fall back into silence once more. He waited a good while, satisfying his distrustful brain that no one would see this pyjama-clad hobo. After a drink and a quick face wash, Daniel returned to his little hideout amongst the tiers and trees, only to contemplate going home himself. He certainly couldn't stay out there all night, and he needed something to eat. In his haste to run away, he'd left without any of his pocket money, or his phone. Maybe he could sneak inside and steal some supplies, get a bag of clothes, his money and phone, and return to this spot? Yeah, it's worth the risk, he decided, but it needed to be well after dark, after that cranky bastard dad had gone to bed. Around 10pm, he snuck up to the house. The front door was closed, the porch light was on. The house was otherwise quiet. Through the front windows, it looked like the lounge room TV was switched off too. Was the bastard in bed? He tiptoed up to the front door, his ears pounding with the echoes of his heartbeat, and straining to hear any noise from within. Noone seemed to be awake. So he turned the front door handle, and slowly opened the door. Stepping inside, he could see little through the dark gloom - none of the lights were on, not even the kitchen lights. His bare feet felt a cracked tile, which hadn't been there before. Unusual, he thought. A few more steps before the tiled entranceway finished, and creaky floorboards began. But he was light, and was barefoot, so they shouldn't make any noises, he surmised. He was so wrapped up in his careful movements and concentrating hard at making no noise, he failed to detect his father's dark form at the open door to their master bedroom. Daniel froze when he finally did sense a presence near him. He turned slowly towards the unwanted life form , only to see at the last moment that form take a step, then a god almighty whack, as the man's closed fist connected with his cheek. The force of the blow sent the hapless boy flying into the wooden armrest of a lounge chair, his arm crashing across the wood edging, snapping his right forearm bone in two like a twig. Daniel immediately collapsed and screamed in pain, holding up his left hand in a vain attempt to shield himself from his father continuing any further attack. The man had his right fist balled up ready to rain down another blow, one Daniel just knew would hurt. "Stop! No, no, don't do this!", he cried. That was when his mother seemingly appeared out of nowhere, holding the big kitchen carving knife. Before Daniel could yell out, she plunged it with all her strength straight into the old man's chest. Daniel watched his father take a step back, look down at the knife plunged all the way up to the hilt in his chest, before staggering backwards another few steps to a wall and slumping down onto his knees. A gulp of air, much like a fish out of water, and that was it. The man's surprised eyes glazed over, and lost their fire. Waves and waves of pain started radiating across Daniel's body, as he found it harder and harder to remain awake. His last memory was of his mum screaming uncontrollably before running out the open front door. Lily shifted her weight slightly on the recliner chair in Daniel's room, now that the wrapped up bundle of hair and pink silky-smooth skin had settled. Daniel was fast asleep now, floppy and relaxed, but he'd been quite unsettled for the half hour prior. She'd watched his face the entire time, eyes screwed shut as he writhed around in her arms, crying out, mumbling, face showing all sorts of emotion, with his arms and legs being very animated. Yet he remained asleep. He must have been dreaming of something bad, Lily thought. As he relaxed, she took him into his room, changed his very wet nappy, and swaddled him. His face now was buried in the blanket. "Wondered where you were, darl", came a gruff voice at the door. David chuckled as his wife emitted a squeek of surprise. "Don't do that, Dave!", Lily warned. "Sorry, couldn't help myself!". David entered the room and kissed his darling wife on the forehead. "How is he?", he whispered. "He had a flashback today", Lily tiredly responded. "Oh?" "He's settled now" "You ok, hon?", David enquired, studying her face for any concern. "Yeah, all good, but I don't know how Daniel will be when he wakes up" "You had anything to eat today?" "Not this arvo, no. Daniel's not had anything to drink either", she replied, and started to sit up off the recliner. "No, no, stay there. I'll get ya's some food n drinks" "Thanks, babe!" As she watched David disappear out towards the kitchen, she thought about the state of play with her family. Pretty lucky to have Dave, and now a beautiful boy. "We'll get through this, baby boy, we will. We'll do whatever it takes".
  16. Good morning friends. Here we go, the first new story I've written in a while - it's not done yet, but I've got six chapters ready to post. So every day for the next six days at least, there will be a new chapter right here. One of my favorite things is if you try to name the chapter Prelude "Okay group, let's stay together," the smiling Amazon in the blue suit-uniform waved her hands, directing the group as they walked about the street, "I know, it was a long bus ride - it will be good for everyone to stretch their legs." She cleared her throat for a moment before raising her voice, launching into her prepared speech. "Welcome to beautiful Tours, capital of Gaule. It is not the most populous city, but this is due more to the fact that King Francis the second relocated the seat of the monarchy five hundred years ago in an attempt to wrest power back from the parliament established by his grandfather, Francis the First... yes, you probably know him as Francis the Little." She frowned at some of the foreign Amazons who laughed at this, but the Littles in attendance were listening raptly. King Francis the Little was arguably the most important historical figure in all the history of all the islands, of course Genevieve admitted she was a little bit biased, given that she was from Gaule herself and their attitude toward the Little population was vastly different from the majority of the islands of Europa. "For those of our international guests who may not be aware," Genevieve continued, gesturing to the statue of a Little confidently riding a full-sized horse, "King Francis established the constitutional monarchy we enjoy today by voluntarily limiting his own power, in what many consider one of the boldest and most visionary political moves of the time period... " "He was a Little," one of the Catalon guests whispered to another, "his Amazon probably made him give up the power and he obeyed." "Excuse me," a Little woman standing next to the pair of men spoke up, "It's well documented that King Francis never had a caretaker, many Littles didn't - though most entirely free communities were insular and secluded. The fact of the matter is, that while Amazons might be bigger and stronger, to ignore the contributions of Littles is to lose out on a lot of culture and creativity." "It's true," Genevieve agreed with the Little woman, stopping the angry-faced Amazon man from responding to the Little directly, "There's a reason that Gaule is the entertainment capital of the world. Many of the screenplays that are made into movies are written by Littles, and many of the songs that your Amazon pop-singers perform are written by Littles. And I'd like to point out that you are, in fact, speaking Gaulish like nearly every other Amazon in Europa, it's only been the dominant language for four hundred years. And we have this Little King to thank for it." "Well," the Amazon man grumped, gesturing to an Amazon pushing a well-diapered Little in a stroller, "Some of your people still know how to treat a Little." "Sir," Genevieve responded politely, "That is almost assuredly a consensual relationship. Adopting a Little against their will is illegal in Gaule. Tours is actually home to the largest percentage of Adopted Littles in the entire country - nationwide around 20% of Amazons have adopted a Little, but here in Tours that number is closer to 60%. The open culture here is a contributing factor, many Amazons and Littles seeking this kind of relationship move or visit here for that reason. Littles outnumber Amazons here on Gaule nearly three-to-one, and the law is on their side so the ones who want an Adopted lifestyle basically have their pick of parents." She waved politely to the stroller-bound Little, who smiled and waved back, his Amazon waving as well. "I think we've dallied here long enough," Genevieve smiles and makes a sweeping gesture, "Let's keep moving - the Entertainment museum is up ahead, where we'll learn more about the contributions Littles make to Gaule's society, hand-in-hand with Amazons... the two races working together are what makes Gaule a world leader." Chapter One: A Little Excited Cammi looked at the clock for the ninetieth time today, the seconds ticked by so slowly... she had to be put down for three naps, the caretakers just couldn't deal with how wound up she was. Of course, the third nap was really just enforced quiet time in the crib.. she couldn't blame them, even the other Littles were getting sick of hearing her excitement about the vacation. You didn't have your fifth anniversary every day, and her mommy Joanna was determined to make a big splash with this one. The waystation in their hometown of Tours had opened a new tourism program, and Jo had managed to get her hands on some of the very first tickets... and Cammi would not shut up about how she and her mommy were going on vacation. Cammi bounced on her diapered bottom in the crib, gripping the bars and giggling, wishing the clock would go faster. Jo was finishing up her work for the week, it was Friday afternoon.. soon she would come through the daycare doors and they would be off. Tours had several Little daycares, an uncommon thing in Gaule in general, keeping a Little was expensive here... but Tours had the highest Adopted Little population of any city on the island and with that came businesses catering to that lifestyle. "Cammi," a small voice called with a complaining tone from the next crib over, "will you please stop bouncing? Some of us are trying to sleep. I need to write tonight, for the love of cake." "Sorry Paul," Cammi replied without a trace of sorrow in her voice, but she did stop bouncing. Paul was a novelist - he had a bestseller a few years ago but hadn't had a big hit in a while. His books more than paid for the daycare though, so his mommy was happy. Paul liked to sleep a LOT during the day because he stayed up most of the night writing when he had an idea. He played with his mommy when they got home, they ate, and she went to bed while he wrote in his crib. Paul had a good life that he enjoyed quite a lot. Both Cammi and Paul, like most Adopted Littles on Gaule, were volunteers. Littles had it hard in this world, they were at a constant disadvantage - Amazons were bigger, stronger, and smarter in every way and a Little had to really struggle just to get by. Not all Littles loved the idea, but Amazons had a need that most of them couldn't fulfill.. they needed someone to love. They were just wired differently, they needed someone to care for and many of them were infertile... not so many that the species was in danger, but they weren't going to overrun the globe due to unchecked population growth either. But one thing that was near-universal to Amazons was a desire to care for a tiny, helpless life. And Littles generally fit the bill. Other islands had barbaric laws, where Littles could literally be captured off the street and forced into babyhood... Gaule was different. Cammi hadn't worked in years, she had sold paintings for a while after Jo adopted her, but Joanna had continued to climb the corporate ladder and eventually it was just easier for Cammi to do nothing at all, well... nothing productive. She had been a mural painter when she was still Independent.. that was how the two had met, she had been painting a nursery for one of Jo's friends... and then she got a gig at Jo's office, and they just hit it off. The pair of them were two peas in a pod, and were madly in love within the year and had been inseparable ever since. It hadn't been Cammi's plan in life to get Adopted... she had slid gradually into babying, one little step at a time. At first it had been Little silverware, then a bib, then a sippy cup... and every little step into regression had made Jo so happy and Cammi so comfortable... before long she was diapered and cuddled, and she never wanted to look back. Cammi hadn't used a toilet in years and honestly couldn't if she had the opportunity to now, it made Jo feel complete to care for her love in every way. Some Littles thought the Adopted lifestyle was strange and demeaning... Cammi maintained that they didn't know what they were missing. "Camille," an Amazon caretaker frowned at the bouncing girl, speaking softly, "You got put in there because you were too energetic, now you're keeping your neighbors awake? What am I going to do with you?" "Sorry Miss Adele," Cammi said sadly, looking down for a moment and rubbing her index fingers together in a contrite gesture. She waited just a moment... and looked up again, a pout on her lips and her eyelashes batting. The reaction from Adele was immediate and obvious... Cammi could practically hear the younger woman's ovaries cry out. A split second later, Cammi was out of the crib and in Adele's arms. Amazon's just couldn't help themselves, and a clever Little knew how to exploit those urges. "How could anyone stay mad at you?" she asked softly, carrying Cammi out of the Quiet Room, "You are just so darn cute! Your mommy is so lucky." Adele booped Cammi on the nose and the Little grinned. "But, my little cutie, you're driving everyone crazy today." "I'm sorry, mommy and I are-" "Going on vacation, yes, I know. Happy Anniversary for the tenth time today, you silly Little. But seriously, what are we going to do with you? You won't sit still for naptime... " "That was my third nap!" Cammi said defensively, "Nobody can take three naps in one day except Paul." "Well we need something to keep you occupied! We have ten Littles and three Amazons, if you're eating up a third of the caretakers' attention, that's not fair to the other Littles." "Have you ever been to another dimension?" Cammi asked, ignoring Adele's perfectly reasonable logic entirely. "No, sweetie.. very few Amazons get to do that in Gaule, we have incredibly strict rules on dimensional travel... The main reason for traveling is getting yourself a Little! You'll have to tell me what it's like." "Oh I will," Cammi promised, "I just wish I had a better idea of what it would be like. Mommy says she picked a place on a tropical coast, she's actually going to get to relax for a change. There aren't too many tropical cities in our whole world, it's hard to even imagine!" Adele just shook her head, Camille was incorrigible and everyone knew it. "Here, hold this," she said, handing Cammi off to Louis and walking back into the quiet room. "Louis," Cammi started, "Have you ever been to another dimension?" He looked toward the Quiet Room door... and realized the stunt Adele had just pulled. "You and your questions!" Louis laughed, "You asked me this same question this morning, and what did I say?" "You said the same thing everyone says! How is it that we've had dimensional travel for years but no one has ever used it?" "Silly Little, we learned quickly that very few dimensions out there had anything worth seeing.. except for cute Littles like you! The portals are pretty much only used by countries with fewer laws about Little protection and only to bring Portal Littles back here to be cute little babies like you. Now, I have Littles to change," he stated, ignoring her question but giving her diaper a squeeze, "And you aren't one of them. How about you sit down and color a picture for your mommy, and I come find you when your friends have fresh diapers?" "Yes, Mister Louis," Cammi said sullenly as he sat her down in a highchair and gave her a coloring book and a box of crayons. She flipped through the book and found a page that had a picture of a tropical beach and set to coloring. The workers knew to always give her the big box of Little-hand sized crayons, she was still quite a talented artist and even when the medium was crayons on lineart, she inevitably made something beautiful... and it would keep her occupied for a good long time, whenever she was engaging in something artistic, she turned into a little perfectionist. After a while Cammi had entirely lost track of time and was startled when she heard a voice commenting on her work. "That is really beautiful," the older man's soft voice was soothing and wonderful. "You always make the most beatiful pictures, Cammi." "Julien!" Cammi squealed, "Have you ever been to another dimension?" She was sure she hadn't asked him yet. Julien laughed, the man was slightly older than Joanna and was friendly to a fault. He was the darling of the daycare (as far as Amazons went) and ever Little loved him. He was always patient and kind, and had lots of knowledge to share. "No, Little Camille... I've never been to another dimension, but I've met many people who have," he pulled her out of the highchair and sat down on the floor, placing the Little in his lap, "Would you like to talk about it?" "Yes please," Cammi batted her eyelashes at Julien, who only chuckled. "Well, when I was younger, I travelled a lot. I've been to every island in Europa," he was quite proud of this, and it showed as he spoke, "And while Littles are treated fairly and equally here, there are many places where that isn't true, as you know." "Oh, I know - it's why mommy and I have never gone on vacation anywhere else! Nowhere is safe enough, she says." "And she's right, you're too cute, Little one. But I've met many Portal Littles in my travels, brought from worlds where they thought they were Amazons, like in the movies." "They really come here thinking they're the same?" "They do," Julien assured her, "They often think they're better than the Amazons who bring them... but what's interesting is-" "Camille!" Miss Adele's voice rang out from across the room, and Cammi looked at the clock. 5:30! It was time for mommy to come get her. "Sorry Mister Julien!" she cried as she scrambled out of his lap and ran to the gate. "I gotta go!" Julien wasn't upset, of course, he was quite used to Cammi and her excitable attitudes. He waved to her as he picked himself up off the ground, shaking his head. "Mommy!" Camille bounced at the gate. There was Joanna in all her splendor, the intimidating lines of her suit as sharp as ever. "I missed you! I can't wait to go on vacation! We're going now, right!" "She's a bit excited," Adele smiled as she opened the gate and watched Cammi tackle the love of her life's legs. "You don't say," Jo laughed, picking up the Little girl - anyone who watched the two of them together knew that Jo was a big softie, but that was not her reputation in the professional world. She had gotten to where she was because she was intimidating and ruthless... but all of that got set aside the instant she was with her precious Little girl. "Yes sweetling, our bags are packed. You're going to be one of the first Littles ever through the portal. Isn't that exciting?" "Oh, I can't wait mommy, I've never been anywhere tropical before. Will there be tropical birds? And tropical fish? And we'll go swimming?" "Yes to all of those things, my precious girl," Jo answered. Adele shook her head, the Little was spoiled beyond belief and the woman swore that she delighted in asking the same question over and over. She had witnessed essentially this same exchange when Cammi had been dropped off that morning. Cammi was a handful, but she had a heart as big as the world. She would be missed while they were gone... but the entire daycare would also enjoy the brief peace. All three of the regular caretakers expected a very sedate week without Calamity Cammi. "Come sweetling, the beach awaits," Jo smiled to Adele and carried her Little away to the car. "Bye Miss Adele! Bye Mister Julien! Bye Mister Louis!" the Little waved frantically as Jo walked them out, but the instant they were out the door, she was practically vibrating with excitement. "I want to swim, and look at fish, and touch a starfish, and eat a coconut, and... " She rambled for quite a while, and Joanna was very happy listening to her Little's excitement.
  17. Madeline wasn’t sure if it was a good idea or not, she had read about it already. She didn’t want what happened last year to repeat, at her junior year prom she missed her favorite song, and her opportunity with a guy because she had to go to the stupid bathroom. Tonight though she had a solution. That solution was a pull up she had gotten the day before, only now she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go through with it. Madeline wore a matte dark red dress that twirled if she spun to fast, but it was too late to change the design, it’s not like she would do much twirling anyway. With little confidence she pulled the pull up up between her legs. She looked in the mirror and was happy to see that all you could see was her pretty face, her brown hair, yet to be done, and her short figure, Madeline had decided against heels because they just made her feet hurt. Finally she exited the bathroom. Immediately her friend Sarah called her over “Madeline get over here! Come on I have to do your hair what took so long in the bathroom.” Madeline just shrugged and went over to sit in front of her best friend. Prom was just a couple of hours away. (This is going to be a sweet story, nothing horrible will happen to madeline. I can be either roll, looking for posts about as long as that one above, and updates daily. Let me know if you’re interested)
  18. Just a quick one-shot commission! It was nice to write such a sweet story. I would absolutely write more of this character in other situations if we get commissioned again! Premise: Mika is an eleven year old girl with a much more infantile interest. Though her parents try to be supportive, her aunt is less than subtle. ---------------------- Mika Goes To The Zoo By: Sophie & Pudding "Why do we have to visit Aunt Ellen anyway?" "Stop fussing," my mother told me as she sat the fresh diaper under my bottom and sprinkled powder between my legs. "I didn't need to be changed," I said for the third time. "Don't start, Mika. You were soaked. And I want you to make a good impression on your aunt this time." "What do my diapers have to do with a good impression?" "Mika, I mean it." I pouted and crossed my arms as my mother finished diapering me in the back seat of our SUV. We were only ten minutes out from Aunt Ellen's house. "You know we don't mind you making your own decisions, and we will always be supportive of you. But you have to act your age sometimes and know that while you can make your own choices, there can be consequences too. Like your Aunt saying nasty things.” Diaper changes were a part of life in the Greene household - ever since Mika had turned seven and realized nobody had asked her opinion or permission to potty train her some years prior. Mika was a remarkably precocious young girl. "I do act my age," I said sourly and flattened my skirt down over my diaper. I was eleven - I acted eleven. So what if I wore diapers? I liked them! They were comfortable and convenient and I didn't care what anybody thought. And after wearing them for four years, my interest had become... something of a need. Even if I wanted to wear underwear, I'd probably have to potty train all over again. I blushed at the thought and sunk down in my seat. Whatever. I didn't even want to potty train... "Well, if you're acting your age then you understand that Aunt Ellen can be a stickler for rules in her house. So be good. Did you want to get some McDonald's drive thru before we get there?" She was, after all, an eleven year old girl. At least some of her interests were age appropriate. "Yes please!" Dad ordered me some chicken nuggets and french fries and I'd eaten all of them before we pulled into Aunt Ellen's driveway. Her house was a lot bigger than ours - it had two floors and a full basement. I wasn't looking forward to this... my aunt wasn't as understanding or supportive as Mom and Dad. "Well look who the cat dragged in," Ellen smiled, little crinkles on the edges of her eyes coming together to make her look a lot more kindly than she was. "Come on in, you must be exhausted from the drive. And look at you, Mika, you must get bigger every time I see you - or I need new glasses!" "Hi Aunt Ellen," I said quietly, like I had rehearsed it in the car, and gave her a hug when she prompted for one. Ellen looked a lot like my mom, but with different hair and a little bit older. They were sisters, after all. "Make sure to take off your shoes," she told me, like I had forgotten after last year. I kicked my shoes off by the door and my parents did the same. "Now, I'm sure you're past your phase from last year, so I didn't put the rubber sheets on the bed," Ellen began, as she led the family up the stairs to the guest area of her house, not at all offering to help with cases or anything. Aunt Ellen wasn't a rude woman by any means, but she placed great value on accommodating as is own contribution to family. "Martha, you and Edwin will be in here, and Mika, your room is through here - I've redecorated since last year." I gave mom a sideways look, pouting a little, but she gave me a stern one right back. Be good, I remembered. Whatever. "Thank you Aunt Ellen," I said as she left me at my room. It was very different to last year - the plain boring colors had a colorful pop to them. The new quilts had frills and the bed was replaced with a daybed. If I were any taller, I probably wouldn't have fit. But it was only for the weekend. I started to unpack my suitcase, stocking the diapers in the top drawer of my dresser. "I was thinking that we would go to the zoo this afternoon if you're feeling up to it," Mika's Aunt prompted, but upon walking into the room mid conversation, she saw what was being put into the drawer and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Mika, darling, you're eleven years old. I do hope that wasn't what it looked like." "It doesn't matter how old I am," I pouted, closing the drawer and unpacking my sundresses next. I wasn't even here ten minutes and we were already talking about my underclothes! It wasn't her business! "Well, I'm sure that your parents may think so, but you're almost an adult now, Mika - a teenager in a few years. Do you want boys knowing you're still wetting the bed?" 'Wetting the bed' was Aunt Ellen’s parlance for 'voluntarily staying un-potty-trained' because bedwetting was at least something she could wrap her head around. "Let's not bicker, pick out something cute, and we'll see about that zoo trip." I didn’t care what boys thought. A lot of kids at school knew I wore diapers, though I wish they hadn’t. Crinkling underpants aren’t exactly easy to hide, after all. And I had to take daily trips to the nurse’s office to get changed. I’d just started middle school and my life was only getting harder… But it made me happy! Even if kids teased me and Aunt Ellen didn’t understand, it wasn’t anyone’s decision but mine! So when my aunt offered to drop the conversation and go to the zoo instead… well, that sounded like a good plan to me. The Lindenville Zoo was really cool. They had polar bears and penguins and giraffes and everything. I wanted to go last year but it was raining the whole weekend. But as we climbed into Aunt Ellen’s little car - my mom sitting in the back with me - there wasn't a cloud in the sky. "Are we there yet? How much longer?" "We'll be there soon, darling, it's across town, remember?" Although how her mom expected her to remember that when she couldn't even remember to use the bathroom was really anybody's guess. "Buckle up back there,” Aunt Ellie reminded as she turned down the street. My excitement got the better of me and I felt the warm flow spread between my legs, soaking into the padding. That feeling, that unexpected burst of heat... I blushed a little and smiled to myself. Diapers were so nice. "Let's try and have a good time at the zoo,” Mika’s dad said. “And no arguing.” Obviously her Mom could tell when her daughter was wet just by sitting beside her, but Aunt Ellen was nowhere near as developed in her senses for these things. "Oh now don't be silly, what would we argue about? Maybe which animal to see first?" "Penguins!" I said excitedly, and everyone agreed. After getting through the front gates I went up to the map and looked for the penguin exhibit, but it was on the other side of the park. "How about we see the lions, then?" my dad suggested. "Uh huh, alright." "See? She's much better when she's acting her age,” Ellen said in a whisper. “You really need to put your foot down occasionally and tell her no, Martha. Girls her age need boundaries and guidelines. She needs a parent, not a friend." Martha couldn't help but smile a little as she pretended to listen to her sister. "I just want her to be happy." "Lions are a lot bigger than they look on TV." But all the lions were lying down and not really doing anything. At least on TV they run around and attack things. This was sort of boring... "Can we look at something else now? What about the giraffes? Those are just around the corner." “Do you need to be changed, sweetheart?” her Mom asked, and Aunt Ellen went wide eyed at the implication. “It’s warm out, and I don’t want you to get a rash.” Ellen shook her head and clucked her tongue disdainfully, sighing aggressively. "I'm fine, Mom." I mean, I was wet, but I didn't mind. And I didn't want to talk about it in front of Aunt Ellen. So I hurried ahead to the giraffes. They were huge! And they had little feeding machines too. "Dad, can I feed the giraffes? Please?" "I'll have to check the feeding times, princess, but you should ask your Mom about getting changed first." When he said it, warm fatherly tones, it was quiet and calm and out of earshot of Aunt Ellen. "Or are you not ready yet?" I pouted and crossed my arms. "I'm really fine, I promise!" He gave me a pensive look and nodded his head before messing up my hair. At least someone believed me. Ten minutes later, I got to feed the giraffes. They had huge tongues and scooped the food right out of my hand! It was so cool! Then we went to the reptile house and I saw the snakes. I was sort of afraid of snakes, but they weren’t so scary behind the glass. After that, we saw the monkeys and the gorillas, which are not the same thing at all. I learned that last year in science class. By the time we were on the other side of the zoo, at the penguins and the polar bears, my diaper was soaked and I had a slight waddle to my step. But I was more concerned with the animals. "Oh my gosh, penguins are so cute... could I get a pet penguin?" "I don't think you're allowed to keep them as pets, hunny." And at that, Aunt Ellen perked up. "If you stop wearing diapers, and act more like a teenager, I'll buy you a penguin for Christmas." "Ellen!” Martha shook her head and looked at her daughter to continue. "Auntie Ellen is joking honey. She'd never try to force you to change who you are." I looked down at my feet and walked away from my family, leaning over the penguin exhibit. "Why can't she just leave me alone?" I muttered more to myself than the penguins. "Why does it matter to her what I wear? Mom and Dad don't care..." I shifted awkwardly in place, feeling the heavy sway of the diaper under my skirt. My tummy rumbled uncomfortably and before I noticed, I started pushing the big mess into the seat of my diaper. I bent over the railing to finish. Here, in public, in the outdoors and surrounded by animal exhibits, it would be easy to conceal what she did. For a spell. Her Mom approached a few moments later and put her arm around her child and squeezed her close. "I'm sorry about Aunt Ellen, she means well and she loves you, she's just... set in her ways. She never had kids, so she doesn't understand how we can let you make your own choices the way we do." Mom wrapped her arm around me just as I finished filling the diaper and I let out a small sigh of contentment. Relaxed. Safe in my diapers. I smiled up at my mom. "It's okay. A lot of people don't like it - like kids at school and stuff. I'm used to it." I put my arm around my mom and pushed my face into her shirt. "Thanks for letting me do what makes me happy. You and Dad are the best." "Yeah we are. And you..." She pressed her face to her daughter’s hair and laughed after breathing in, "are one smelly young lady. If you don't want to give your poor Aunt a conniption fit, we could probably excuse ourselves and go get you changed. What do you say, mm? For Aunt Ellen? Poor old gal, she can't make heads or tails of anything outside her circle." I puffed out my cheeks and shook my head. "Nooo, Mom! Please? Can't it wait until we get home?" She gave me a serious look and I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeaaaase Momma...? Juss until we get home...?" "Not a chance, honey, you getting in the car with Auntie Ellen like that? Come on now." Her Mom leaned down and picked her up, holding her up against the crook of her elbow and kissing her forehead. "Be a big girl, okay? You make me so proud, and I know you wanna be a good girl for your Dad and me, right?" I pouted and put my head on her shoulder as the mess squished against my bottom. This wasn't fair... I wanted to stay in my diaper until we got home! But if Aunt Ellen had to smell me in the car, she'd probably start yelling again... "Fine," I muttered. "Just this once..." "Just this once. Remember, changing your diaper doesn't change who you are.” Her Mom carried her up the path to the public bathrooms a little ways away from where her Dad and Aunt were talking. One day, her daughter might grown up, but that had to be own decision. Mom put me down outside the family restroom and I shifted from foot to foot in the very wet and very messy diaper, trying to enjoy it for as long as I could. But the next moment, Mom ushered me inside and turned on the light. She locked the door behind us and picked me up under the arms, sitting me in my mess on top of the changing table. I was a little too big, so my feet hung over the edges. I hated changing tables, but bathroom floors were so gross. "There we go, lay back, don't worry, Momma is here." Despite her daughter's disdain for being changed, she really did seem to enjoy the experience as a whole. Her legs being lifted up and held above her, the diaper being untaped, the feel of fresh air in her privates, it was all a very lovely experience. And when her mom would wipe her clean with the cooling wipes, doing her best to avoid her daughter getting another rash, it was a moment they could share. Mother and daughter. Precious and special. Even if that moment did involve an eleven year old girl being changed out of a diaper she voluntarily wet and messed. I looked up at the ceiling as my mom drew the wipe along my skin, then balled up the stinky diaper and threw it in the trash can. I was still sour that I had to change so soon, but... well, the feeling of a fresh dry diaper was nice too. Mom hummed a soft song while she unfolded the diaper, lifting my legs by the ankles. She set Mika’s bottom down, positioned her with well practiced precision into the right place on the diaper, and powdered her thoroughly before she began to tape her up. Maybe being a teenager would be what broke this tradition, her daughter courting boys or girls, not wanting to be embarrassed. For now, Martha saw no issue with what made Mika happy. She lifted her up off the table and set her down on her feet, pulling down her dress and patting her butt lightly. "There we go, you lil stinker, fresh and clean like a brand new baby girl." "I'm not a baby," I said sternly. "It's just a saying," Mom told me, kissing me on the forehead before leading me out of the bathroom with the diaper bag on her shoulder. Dad and Aunt Ellen were waiting for me by the polar bears. "Alright, how about we go get some lunch?" "At Zoo prices? Absolutely not. We can eat when we leave." "Now now, Ellen. That's awfully financially conscious for someone with penguin money. We're all hungry, come on." Mika squeaked as her Dad plucked her up and dropped her onto his shoulders, legs on either side. "I hope they have elephant ears." He laughed. Happiness came in a lot of forms. Some people liked to play video games and some people liked to eat a lot of different foods. For me, happiness was simple. It was a trip to the zoo with my family. Zoo. Family. Diapers. What better happiness was there? [End.]
  19. Author's note: It's been a while, hasn't it? Well, that's partly because I've been writing for Cushy Pen for the last 14 months, but the bigger part is because I went back to work full-time in November last year, so it's been all I could do to generate my minimum contribution there, never mind anywhere else. Nonetheless, this was a short I published last September, so it's clear of the exclusivity period and I can now post it here. Hope you enjoy! You Know You Deserved It 7:45am Mommy Tina sat quietly and sipped coffee as little Janet fumbled her way through her morning cereal. Janet sat there in her booster, naked but for a bib and last night's very wet diaper, the anticipation of what was coming completely overwhelming her, but still she did her best to be neat and tidy as possible. Mommy didn't like her making messes on "school days" like this, and she didn't want Mommy to be upset today. "Now you make sure and be a good girl today at school, get all your work done, so I don't have to hear any bad reports from your teachers," Mommy scolded. "School" was her job as a paralegal at Mayfair, Flowers, and Tarkenton. Mommy used to be a lawyer there, until she left to join the ACLU, so she still maintained friendships with Janet's bosses – the "teachers" in question. Not to mention, Mommy Maryanne was a partner there. Hence, if the twenty-five-year-old missed a deadline or fouled up a research assignment, Mommy Tina was first to know. Janet carefully chewed and swallowed her mouthful before she responded, "Yes Mommy." Speaking with a mouthful of food was definitely not acceptable behavior for a little lady, and Mommy was always chiding her when she did un-lady-like things. Except during playtime. Playtime was Janet's chance to just let loose and be as little and as silly as she wanted, and Mommy never punished her for it. Well, other than an occasional sit in the Naughty Chair for being fussy or throwing a tantrum. But throwing tantrums was fun too, especially after a bad day at School. But today was different. Mommy was quiet, and so was Janet, and Janet was on pins and needles about what was coming tonight. As beautiful and spacious as their 1-bedroom apartment at Thomas Circle was, Mommy said there wasn't room for what needed to be done here, and Janet knew she deserved it. Mommy had been counting up the incidents for weeks before, and once Janet crossed the threshold, what was to come was cast in stone. Janet shuddered as she considered it. That Mommy decreed it was going to happen at Black Rose, DC's most high-profile BDSM club, instead of here at home simultaneously thrilled and terrified her. She spooned up the last of her Lucky Charms, and Mommy smiled, rising to her feet. "Good girl. No messes. We need Mommy's help getting dressed today?" Mommy set the bowl aside and lifted the tray, then hoisted Janet out of her seat and stood her on the floor. "Umm..." Janet really wanted Mommy to dress her, but she wasn't sure. Would Mommy be happier if she started playing at Big Girl now, or... "Mommy's help it is!" The quandary was moot; Mommy latched on to her hand and tugged her down the hall. Mommy rarely gave her time to mull that answer. Either she was confidently feeling big, or Mommy treated her little. Staggering in her swollen diaper, Janet joyed over Mommy making the choice for her. Adulting was hard, letting Mommy take care of her was easy. A fresh, clean girls' Goodnite, a crisp white blouse, black knit wool skirt, hose, and stylish black heels later, Janet was feeling very big-girl indeed. Mommy tied her hair into a smart ponytail and did her makeup for her, and Janet was very careful to sit still through the process. Her last incident being fidgety while Mommy was doing her hair and makeup got her a sharp swat with the paddle, something she definitely did not want this morning. "There we go. Now, Mommy needs to get ready, and Janet needs to get her head right for adulting now, so I suggest we go sit and watch the news for a while, okay?" "Yes Mommy." Even though the instruction was toward readjusting out of littlespace, Mommy was Mommy in private company, no matter how big or little Janet felt, and accidentally calling her Tina at home had much more dire consequences than letting slip a "Mommy" in public, as embarrassing as that could be. She straightened up and mustered her most dignified stride, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor as she made her way to the living room. She sat on the end of the couch, carefully turning both legs the same direction, and reached for the remote. Inside, adult Janet was shouting down the giggling toddler-girl who just thought the whole exercise was silly. She hit the power button on the remote. The screen lit up. It was still on Cartoon Network from the night before. She stifled a giggle; Dexter's Laboratory was starting. Changing the channel to CNBC was a monumental effort of will, but Mommy had issued the order, and Mommy would be cross if that order wasn't followed. Squawk Box was on. Boring stuff about Wall Street. She pouted a bit, Dexter would be way more fun and interesting than this. "Big girl, Janet! Big girl!" she muttered under her breath. She focused on the screen. Texaco stock down, profits pinched by continued slumping fuel demands. Kimberly Clark stocks up as Huggies brand announces new Disney character designs on the entire product line. Janet unconsciously wiggled in her Tinkerbell Goodnite, delighting in the subtle crinkle... Ugh! Focus! Biotech stocks on the slide, consumer backlash against expensive prescription drugs driving bearish forecasts. Time Warner up, earnings outperformed projections thanks in large part to success of the Turner Broadcasting group's revamp of... the Cartoon Network morning lineup. "Dammit!" she whisper-shouted. Mommy expected her to be focused and ready for work by the time she was finished getting herself ready, but the distractions were everywhere today, especially in anticipation of what was coming tonight. "Dammit, dammit, dammit, Janet, pull yourself together!" Work. That's it. Need to focus on what was coming at work. Big case involving a patent troll suing one of their clients, she was sure to have a pile of research work on her desk related to that. And the SEC charges against their other big one, god, that was a huge, sprawling mess. Good grief, she was sure to be busy nonstop today. Probably have to work through lunch to avoid having to go in for overtime tomorrow. That'd be horrible, missing Saturday morning cartoons and... "NO NO NO!" she squeaked. Right at that moment, Mommy's heels announced her exit from the bathroom. "Someone having a little trouble?" Mommy stepped over to the kitchen counter and looked approvingly at the TV, then back down at Janet, who was doing her best not to fidget. Sadly, her best under Mommy's gaze and in this state wasn't much. "I'm trying, Mommy, I am! Even the TV's being mean!" "Come here, baby." Mommy's tone was neutral. Janet fidgeted even more as she stood and walked over, hands in a fig leaf in front of her skirt, head down, wobbling now on the heels she so confidently strode out in just a few minutes ago. "I'm sorry, Mommy. It's hard to adult." Mommy drew her into a hug, reaching down with one hand and patting her bottom. In heels, Janet stood barely five feet tall, and the nine inches of height between the two women always made Mommy's hugs extra comforting, pulling Janet's head easily into her bosom as she embraced her. "Mommy knows how hard it is. Trying to watch business news was a very adult choice. Good girl. What went wrong?" "Well, first they started talking about Huggies diapers, and they showed a clip of the commercial with the little girl with the pull-up on her head and all these pictures of Huggies Disney prints, and then later they talked about Cartoon Network and showed a bunch of clips of my favorite shows, and it just wasn't fair!" "No, it wasn't, was it. Mean old news broadcasters, trying to fuzzy up your head like that. Should I call Nanny, then, so you can be little today?" "No, Mommy! There's too much important stuff to do at school today!" Yes, Janet badly wanted to stay home and be little, especially if she got to spend the day at "Nanny's", also known as Mommy Racquelle's house, but she also wanted to be good. She knew what was coming tonight, and she didn't want to give Mommy Tina any reason to be cross or disappointed or anything else ahead of it. "I have to adult today! I have to!" Mommy released the embrace and grasped her shoulders firmly. "Look at me, Janet." Janet looked up. "It is up to you to be a big girl and go to school and make your teachers happy so Mommy can be proud of you. I know you can do it. You know you can do it. Will you do it, Chamita?" Chamita. The word gave Janet tingles every time Mommy said it. Mommy said it was what her grandmother in Venezuela called her when she visited her house. It meant babygirl, or something like that. When Mommy asked anything of Chamita, the answer was always yes. It had to be yes. Chamita could never refuse her mommy. "Yes, Mommy!" Janet stamped her foot for emphasis. "Good girl. Let's get Chamita to school then, so she can work hard and make Mommy proud." Make Mommy Proud. Yet another little key that unlocked certain secret places in Janet's heart. It was right up there with Good girl. Mommy had given Janet the option long ago to give up working and be little around the clock, her several mommies taking care of her, and as tempting as the offer had been, she knew that Mommy wanted very much for her to continue adulting. And Janet wanted it too. Giving up her job meant Janet would no longer have any control over how big or little any of her mommies treated her, it would become their decision, not hers. And she liked having that choice, even if she more often than not deferred to Mommy Tina, or Mommy Racquelle, or Mommy MaryAnne. It was fun insisting she was a big girl and having one of her mommies ignore her pouty demands and put her in diapers anyway, leaving her to sulk behind her binky in her playpen. But most of all, she lusted after Mommy's praise, and Mommy always praised her for going to School and working hard. Plus, she always looked forward to coming home and being little after a hard day of adulting, and that little joy would go away if she quit her job. So big girl it must be. The pair walked tall together out of the apartment, rode down the elevator, and into the waiting cab Bennie, the doorman, hailed for them just as he did every weekday. 8:50am "Okay, Chamita, be good girl at school for Mommy!" Mommy kissed her cheek and gave her a squeeze. "I will, Mommy," Janet whispered back sheepishly. For as many times as this exchange had happened, Janet had never gotten over being embarrassed about having the strange person driving the cab hear it, wondering about what thoughts were going through his head as he eyed her quizzically in the rearview mirror. She felt the soft blush creep into her face yet again as she hastily opened the door. She and Mommy exchanged waves, as they did every morning. Usually this was the moment where Janet was completely able to get back in big-girl mode, standing in front of the huge tower, three entire floors of which were occupied by her employer. Today was different, though. Today was a much bigger struggle. Today, she had to block it out of her mind, what was coming. Tonight. It was going to happen. She couldn't do anything about it. And she knew she deserved it. She mustered all the big-girl dignity she could and walked through the revolving door into the towering foyer. Again! Again! NO! Think about legal things. Think about precedents and case law and not about how fun it'd be to splash around in the big fountain right next to you! DAMMIT! Her pace quickened toward the elevators. She got there just in time for someone to hold one open for her, and there she was right in the front, in arm's reach of the buttons. She reached out to... Push them all! See the lights all light up! She tapped 7 and quickly pulled her hand away before she could get herself in trouble. Staring straight ahead, she smoothed out the front of her blouse and clasped both hands around her little handbag, trying to at least pretend her nerves weren't already frazzled. Focus, dammit! Focus! The war inside her head raged. She felt like she was chasing a tiny version of herself around a room while the little version was wreaking havoc everywhere. Make Mommy proud, remember? The words were like an elixir. The toddler quieted, and her focus returned, at least long enough for her to exit the elevator and into the sea of cubicles that was the paralegal pool. 11:05am Work had been fast and furious that morning, a never-ending stream of research, delivering briefs, making an occasional low-level client call, but Janet was keeping up with the pace. In fact, it was easier when she was busy, easier to tune out the noise and distractions. She'd been good all morning, even got a compliment from one of the partners about the brief she delivered for a class-action on which he was lead counsel. But right now it was all rushing back. This morning she had been grateful that Mommy put her in a pull-up, because this morning she was still very much in little mode, and she didn't want to be big yet. Now, as she sat in the stall with same pull-up around her knees, staring at the delightful little Tinkerbell designs while she tinkled, all the focus was gone, and it was only sheer force of will that kept her from giggling. She flexed her legs, determined to keep that pull-up from dropping to her ankles, the raw fear of anyone else seeing it the only anchor to "adulting" she had left. She finished and cleaned herself up, then slid the garment quickly back up her thighs. It was a certainty that everyone in this echo chamber could hear the crinkling, that they all knew she was wearing a diaper, that her "big girl" facade was a complete farce. It was as certain as the telltale little yellow stain in the middle, the little tiny dribble she'd left when she got so busy she almost forgot to go potty entirely. It wasn't a big stain, not even enough to feel so much as a swell once the soft padding hugged her girl parts again. But even if she didn't need to call Mommy Racquelle for a change at lunch, she'd see it this afternoon, and any chance she had of claiming big-girl status ahead of tonight's looming event was out the window now. Pee in her panties meant she wasn't ready for big-girl panties, which meant big, thick, crinkly diapers after School and on until bedtime. Part of her wanted to run upstairs and find Mama MaryAnne, tell her about her "accident" and that she wasn't feeling big enough to stay in school today. Janet once playfully called her "Ma" and claimed it was just easier than saying all those M's. While she was scolded severely for it at the time, MaryAnne decided that "Mama" was rather cute, and that became Janet's name for her. Mama would close her office door and give Janet a warm hug before calling Nanny to let her know that Janet would be coming early, and she'd be diapered and have lunch and a nap and be able to play until Mommy came to pick her up. But Mommy would be disappointed if Janet didn't stay in School. That was the last thing she wanted. So she bit her lip, straightened out her skirt, and exited the stall to wash up. Hold it together, Janet! It's only three more hours! You can do this! If anything, it was a mere 15 minutes until her lunch break, so she'd have a chance to gather herself, get refocused. After that it was just making it to 2:30. That was one of the more embarrassing, yet very pleasant aspects of having one of her mommies working in the same firm. As a partner in the firm, it was easy for Mama to pull strings down in the paralegal pool to accomodate Janet's "special scheduling needs", or more accurately the three women's collective desire to have Janet's schedule look more like that of a kindergartner. Where she went in at 9 and left at 2:30, her co-workers pulled 8 to 5. Her bosses never asked her to stay late, though she was occasionally tapped for Saturdays if the backlog was too deep. It was a compromise struck when Janet first moved in with Mommy, that Nanny get time with their babygirl on a daily basis, since she worked out of her home, and it came with the standing offer for Janet to abandon school altogether and let Nanny take care of her during the day. For Janet, the arrangement was dizzying at times, but she loved each of her Mommies very much, and she sorely missed each of them on the occasions she was deprived of one, like the week Mama spent in Boston, working with one of the firm's top clients on an important project. That was a really bad week for Janet; she tried to go to school on Monday, but knowing Mama wasn't in her office upstairs in case Janet had an accident or just needed a cuddle to get through the day made her nervous, anxious, completely unfocused. She wound up leaving work at lunchtime that day and every other day that week, and it it took nearly all the strings Mama could pull to keep Janet's job when she got back into town. That was the first time the three women spoke seriously about Janet "not being ready for school". After barely convincing them she was perfectly capable, Janet resolved to tough it out at work by whatever means necessary going forward. Janet was definitely in the "whatever means necessary" territory today. The anticipation of tonight's event had been building inside her for over a week, and now it was nearly unbearable, consuming her entire thought process, filling her with anxiety. She was rapidly running out of mental energy, and 2:30 seemed like eons away. 1:55pm Lunch had been no help. The self-imposed diet Janet was on made passing the snack machine an exercise in torment. It wasn't that she was overweight, far from it. It's just that she had picked up enough of a chest to where she could no longer fit comfortably into a girls' XL dress, and Target had this adorable pink one with Frozen characters on it that wasn't available in the girls' plus sizes Mommy usually ordered for her. She made Mommy promise her that if she lost a little weight, she'd get that dress, and she was almost to her goal weight of 95 pounds, and she could nearly fit back into her 32B, which would satisfy Mommy's insistence that she have a little room to fluctuate. Nanny always scolded her for being so skinny, but Nanny was also the most athletically built of the four of them, despite also being the shortest of her Mommies at a mere five feet four. Janet suspected Nanny could probably take either Mommy or Mama over her knee with little effort, whether they resisted or not. The thought made her chuckle, Nanny dropping her powerful hand on Mama's bottom while her impossibly long legs flailed helplessly. Janet just managed to finish the amicus brief she'd been called upon to draft that morning, and as she looked it over one last time, proofreading and error-checking as thoroughly as she could, she cheered herself inside. It was quite good, and she was sure today's "teacher", Mark Ainsworth, would be sending along very a very good report to Mommy. Her toes curled in anticipation as she saved the final copy then forwarded it along to him. Five minutes to go in the shift; perfect timing. She shut down her computer, gathered her purse, and made for the elevators, doing her best to maintain at least a pretense of professionalism when inside she was positively bursting again, toddler girl forcing her way back into her headspace. Normally she'd stop for a bathroom break on the way out, but she was determined to make her exit before she could be delayed by would-be small talkers, or worse be asked to come in tomorrow for extra work. The ride down seemed to take forever, stopping at every floor on the way, and her bladder began to murmur, ever so subtly. Janet had a dilemma now. On one hand, her pull-up was already stained, but there was a chance Nanny would give her a pass on such a tiny little dribble. Of course, it might not matter, Nanny could be in one of her moods, just looking for an excuse to give Janet the full babying treatment when she arrived, which Janet hate-loved and love-hated every time. And as much as Janet wanted to stay big for as long as possible before tonight's event, she also didn't. Being changed out of her big-girl clothes, diapered, and bottle-fed by Nanny, put down for a little nap, and playing in the playpen until Mommy came to pick her up was a positively delightful idea. The elevator finally stopped at the ground floor, and Janet walked out into the lobby completely on autopilot as she wrestled with these thoughts. The fountain finally made her decision for her. As soon as that tinkling sound reached her ears, her body betrayed her, and she blushed deeply, forcing herself to increase her pace and pretend nothing was wrong as her pull-up began to warm and swell between her legs. She had reached the revolving door by the time she was done; it wasn't that big of an accident, but it certainly removed all doubts as to what she'd be wearing shortly. She spotted Nanny's silver BMW sitting at the curb, and all the big-girl thoughts melted away as she jog-walked toward the car. She opened the door and nearly jumped into the seat, landing on the rustly puppy pad Nanny always laid out (just in case) with a gleeful squeak, pulling the door shut gently behind her. Nanny was very strict about slamming the door, and if Janet was going to spend the afternoon being little, she wanted it to be as pleasant an experience as possible. "Well hello to you too, cutey!" Nanny smiled as Janet's thumb found her way to her mouth. "I see someone is geared up for a little afternoon." Janet nodded her head fiercely and giggled. Nanny lifted Janet's skirt, which normally would have sent the smaller woman into a fierce blush, but "little" Janet only ever cared about modesty in the presence of strangers. Behind Nanny's dark tinted windows, the rest of the world ceased to exist. "Looks like someone had an accident today." Nanny's sing-song voice was scolding, but playfully so. Still yet, Janet felt the need to defend herself, thumb in her mouth or not. "Vat jus' happem, Nanny! Da foun'n made me do i'!" Nanny's made contact with the front. "Hmmm. Feels pretty warm. You sure we didn't have any other accidents today?" "Um... I had a li'l bribble before..." "I see. Thank you for being honest, sweetie. Let's get you home and changed before you wind up with a rash." Nanny watched for an opening, then scooted into traffic. "Are we excited about tonight?" The anxiety rose back up in Janet, and she dropped her thumb into her lap. "I'm scared, Nanny." "Oh I bet, you poor thing. This is your first time going to the Rose, isn't it?" "Uh-huh." "Well, how about Nanny fix you a nice bottle of chocolate milk when we get home, help you relax a little and take your mind off it?" "No chocolate, Nanny! My diet!" "Oh for heaven's sake!" Nanny rolled her eyes. "If you lose any more weight, I'll be able to put a harness on you and fly you like a kite in the park!" "Nuh-uh! Mommy's gonna get me the dress with Elsa and Anna and Olaf on it! I've only got a couple more pounds to go!" Her thumb found its way back into her mouth as Janet's thoughts wandered off to the animated movie with the silly snowman in it. "Good lord, you and that silly movie. Well, Nanny got a package in today with your name on it!" "Wa wuv in i'?" "Well I guess we're going to find out in a few minutes, aren't we?" "No fair!" Janet pouted behind her thumb. "No fair what? I only opened one of them, the one I ordered for you. The other one is as much a mystery to me as it is to you!" "Who wuv i' from?" "I'm not sure, it didn't have a name on it, but the return address was from Chicago, so that might solve part of the mystery." Janet's eyes got wide as she remembered the glorious two weeks she spent at "little camp" with her friends from the Chicago Ageplayers crew in May. And the even more glorious week she spent when she got home being constantly doted on and spoiled rotten by all three of her Mommies after them missing her "SO MUCH", as they told her day and night. She wondered who of her little friends sent her a package and why and what could possibly be in it! Or maybe it was another invitation! No, Nanny wouldn't have called it a "package" if it was just a letter. Mysterious indeed! Nanny let out a chuckle, breaking Janet's concentration. "Hey silly goose, we're home!" Janet looked out the windshield in disbelief. There indeed was Nanny's townhouse in Georgetown, a huge step up from Mommy's condo in the city. But that was a whole other reason Janet was determined to keep working, because she and Mommy were saving to buy a place like this. Janet's little paralegal salary at the law firm wasn't a ton of money, but it was enough to pay a lot of peripheral bills, leaving Mommy free to invest a huge amount of her paycheck. Another year or two and they'd be ready to live in a wonderful spot like this. Maybe even in the same neighborhood as Nanny. Then she'd get more time with both of them, and Mama too, as she lived just a few minutes away in an even nicer complex than this. "Are we coming in, or do we need Nanny to carry us?" Nanny snapped her back to reality again, this time a little sterner than her playful rib. "Sorry Nanny." Her thumb dropped out of her mouth, and she took Nanny's hand and stepped out of the open car door. "Our little head is just full of thoughts today, isn't it?" Nanny said, wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder as she closed the car and locked it with her keyfob. "I guess so..." "Care to share?" "I was just thinking about your pretty house, and how someday soon Mommy and I are gonna have a pretty house near here too, and then I'll get to see even more of you and Mama, and it made me happy." "Aw, that's going to make your Mama and I very happy too. But you know what will make me happiest right now?" Nanny opened the door and ushered her inside as she spoke. "What?" "A certain babygirl toddling her damp little self up to her room so Nanny can get her properly attired for a fun afternoon together!" Nanny gave her a playful swat on the bottom, and Janet giggled in spite of herself. She kicked off her heels behind the door, glad to be rid of the cumbersome footwear, and dashed up the hardwood steps, stumbling once as her nylon-clad feet betrayed her. "Alright, alright, no need to fall and break your cute little bottom, now!" Nanny laughed as she followed her up the stairs. Janet scampered up to the landing and hooked a left into her favorite little spot in the whole house, Nanny's nursery. Of course, it wasn't a nursery for Nanny, it was for Janet. And it wasn't even entirely Nanny's idea. In fact, she'd only known Nanny for about a month when Mama and Mommy had conspired with Nanny to build it. But it was a magical little place nonetheless, and she'd spent a substantial part of every afternoon for the last six months here, and a fair number of overnights. The tall white crib stood out starkly against the soft lavender walls, as did the changing table across the room from it, with its little stepladder for her to "assume the position" on top. Not that Nanny needed any help; she was strong as a bear, and could easily carry Janet around one-handed when she felt like it. The walk-in closet was filled with clothes far more befitting a girl of four or five; Nanny was obsessed with expanding Janet's little wardrobe, and no doubt there was something new. Nanny was a bit proper, though; she refused to buy anything with cartoon characters or for that matter anything she didn't think befitting of "a little lady". Which meant everything Nanny put her in after School was absurdly girly and more than likely rather short, as it was intended to be worn with leggings, which Nanny never put on her. Too much fuss for playtime, was her constant refrain. And Janet would always complain that if she was to play dress-up, she should be dressed up proper. Then came the inevitable, "Who changes the diapers decides the rest of the underwear." Today was no different. Janet dutifully stripped away her skirt and blouse, Nanny arriving just as she started to wrestle down her pantyhose. She stumbled and fell backward on her squishy bottom with a squeak, and Nanny just laughed. "We needing some help?" "No, Nanny, you just startled me." Janet managed to get one leg free of the stretchy nightmare before Nanny bent over and grabbed the other one, ripping it loose effortlessly. "Honestly, I have no idea why your mommy insists on going to such lengths. Up up!" Nanny patted the vinyl-covered top of the changing table, and Janet quickly made for the ladder and sprawled herself out. Lying here, nearly as far from the floor as she normally stood, in a wet pull-up, made her feel about as little as could be. "Cause I'm 'posed to be a big girl at school, Nanny!" Nanny raised her eyebrow as she tore the sides down on the sodden underwear and began wiping Janet down with a warmed wipe from a tub attached to the table. "Do big girls do this in school?" Nanny dangled it in front of her for emphasis before wrapping it up and tucking it into the diaper genie. "I was on the way out already, and the fountain made me do it! I adulted good! And I worked hard all day!" Janet poked her tongue out in defiance. Nanny reached into her shirt pocket and produced a pacifier, which she tucked into Janet's mouth and went straight back to work. "Alright, sassy girl. Nanny believes you. But we're all done being big today, aren't we?" She wiped the Desitin off her hands as she spoke, and began dusting her with a generous layer of powder. "Mmmhmmm." The anticipation was still a mixed set of emotions for Janet. Big girl was fading fast now, as the sweet smell of the powder reached her nose. When she stepped out of that elevator, she was determined to stay big girl until tonight, but she'd expended so much effort at work trying to stay focused, and the nipple felt so good bouncing on her tongue, and Nanny's strong arm lifting her bottom up... it was hard to care about much of anything right now but being snugged up tight into a thick pink diaper, Nanny's fingers running along the leg elastics to make sure it didn't pinch. Oh, and what video she wanted to watch, since Cartoon Network was pounding that stupid Teen Titan show. Maybe Frozen again. Or Hotel Transylvania. That would be fun. "Are you going to lift your arms up for me, or are you just going to sit there like a silly lump?" Nanny stood there expectently, a lavender bishop dress in hand, two pink butterflies embroidered on the attached white bib. Janet raised her arms, silent but for her suckling and her bottom rustling. Yep, big girl was all the way gone now. Once Nanny had the dress over her head, Janet reached out for her. "Oh, we want to be carried? Well, it's a short ride to the crib," Nanny said as she pulled loose Janet's hair band and went to work on her face with one of the wet-wipes, stripping away the makeup Mommy had carefully applied this morning. "Mmm-mmm!" Janet squeaked. "No nap, Nanny! Movie!" "Your Mommy and Mama and I already discussed it. It's going to be a very late night for you tonight, and we don't want you getting all overtired and emotional. You're taking a nap, and that's all there is to it." "None of my mommies have to take a nap!" Janet crossed her arms and pouted behind her pacifier as Nanny dropped the siderail on her crib. "Your mommies all have to work, including me. In fact, while you're napping, I'll be finishing in a teleconference in my office. Believe you me, I'd rather be having a nap." "Hmmmmph." Janet played it up, but she actually was tired, just from the mental struggle today. Nanny handed her Avvy, her big stuffed unicorn, and hoisted her up with a rustle. Janet couldn't help but giggle as Nanny bounced her on her hip, betraying Janet's efforts at being rebellious, even if it was only passively. Nanny laid her in the crib, and Janet threw back another "Hmmmph," though with less conviction, as she flopped over and showed Nanny her back. Nanny swatted her bottom with a hollow plastic thud. "Sleep, baby. Nanny come get you when it's time to get up." She covered Janet with the throw. "Hmmmph!" Up went the rail, locking in place with a loud click. Such a comforting feeling, being surrounded by bars that came up all the way to her chest even when she was standing up in here. She suckled quietly and sighed. She was so sleepy by the time she realized Nanny had forgotten her bottle that she didn't even care as she slipped into happy little dreams. The next thing she knew, there was a hand on her back, and a soft voice in the room, but it wasn't Nanny's voice. "Hello, Chamita. Time to wake up now and get ready for our big night!" Her eyes popped open. "Mommy!" She flipped over, her pacifier and Avvy tossed aside as she lurched to a sit and looked up. Mommy startled a bit and chuckled. "Hello there, sleepy girl!" Janet was a bit surprised herself. If Mommy was here, then it was already six o'clock! And she hadn't even so much as heard Mommy drop the rail. She reached out with a squeak, and Mommy laughed as she picked her up. "Oh yes, baby, Mommy's happy to see you too!" "Nanny made me go ni-ni! I wanted to watch cartoons!" Janet put her fake pout back on, hoping to buy a little sympathy, or at least a reaction from playing her cute-card. Mommy just gave her diaper a squeeze, which was silly, because she was still dry, though that was probably going to change soon. "Oh yes, mean old Nanny insisted we take a nap, even though it was clear we needed it!" Nanny's laughing voice rang out from the doorway. "And she didn't even give me a ba-ba!" Janet pressed. "Meanie!" "Oh, Nanny!" Mommy gave her a squeeze. "No ba-ba before nap?" "Okay, you got me there. I'm sorry, Jan-Jan, I was distracted by that meeting I had to attend." Nanny stepped aside as Mommy carried her out into the living room. Janet stuck her tongue out at Nanny on the way by, and Nanny laughed and pinched her cheeks. "You're so adorable when you're grumpy, you know that?" "We goin' home for supper, Mommy?" Mommy sat down on the sofa and pulled Janet into her lap. "No, silly. All your party clothes are here, and you don't think Nanny would miss a chance to doll you up for an important outing, do you?" Janet's heart skipped a beat, and big girl came surging back. "Mommy! I can't go out in public in baby clothes!" She buried her face in Mommy's shoulder. "We've been over this, Chamita." Mommy lifted her chin and turned to face her. "You earned what's coming tonight. And you are going to be dressed properly for the occasion." "But Mommy..." "Hush." Mommy's finger went across Janet's lips. "Nanny, could we get a ba-ba over here, help tide her over until we eat later?" Inside Janet was roiling over the prospect. Terror was winning out over thrill. In public. In one of any number of elaborate party dresses Nanny had stashed in the closet. None of which covered her underwear. Would Mommy let her wear tights? Would it even matter if she did? Maybe it would on the way in and out of the car, but once they were inside that imposing place, a place dedicated to bondage and leather and dark things, to discipline of the fiercest kind. What would those people think, when they got a gander at her puffy rearend and her absurd piles of pastel-colored crinoline and satin and her curls and rosy cheeks? She was going to be made a spectacle of, and while the idea excited her when it was first announced, the closer it came to becoming a reality, the more afraid she was of it. She let loose a whimper and curled up tighter in Mommy's lap, her eyes squeezed shut. The crinkle in her bottom was no longer soothing, nor was her bladder emptying itself, swelling her diaper up and warming her thighs. A nipple entered her mouth, and Mommy whispered, "There we go, Chamita. Relax and drink your ba-ba." Those words soothed her. And a pull on the bottle, her mouth filling with chocolate Ovaltine, was exactly what she needed to forget the nightmare brewing in the back of her mind. She suckled eagerly, nuzzling Mommy's chest and letting loose little whimpers of pleasure in between swallows. "Good girl, Chamita. Gooood girl." Janet squirmed and curled her toes. Somewhere in the background, she heard Nanny chuckle. Then there was a shift on the couch, and she felt those strong hands rubbing her feet, thumbs digging firmly but gently into her arches. "Someone needs to relax and stop worrying so much," Nanny scolded. "It'll all be gone in a flash, and you'll be sad it's over before you know it." "And besides," Mommy added, "You know you deserve it." Yes, yes she did deserve it. She earned all of it. And it was nearly time to face it all. By the time Mama arrived, Janet was fully done up. Stark white tights covering what was now a thick, comfy white diaper with a couple of boosters, "So we don't have to worry about changes until it's all done" according to Mommy. Pink patent leather Mary Janes to match her pink-and-white babydoll dress with its puffy short sleeves and Peter Pan collar and satin sash tied into a huge bow in the back, a full crinoline skirt beneath. Nanny assured her that no one would see her well-padded bottom until she bent over, and when Janet stood in front of the mirror in Nanny's bedroom, her hair in curt pigtails with pink barretts securing them, far too much blush on her cheeks, and her pacifier attached with a pink ribbon to her collar, she actually believed it too. There were so many other things rustling on her, surely no one would hear her diaper, and the tights would keep it well secured even if she wet it. "So pretty!" Mama declared as Janet ran to give her a hug. "Are we all ready to go, then? Our car is waiting out front!" Car indeed! Mama had splurged on what looked like a cross between a limo and a giant SUV, which sat right out front of Nanny's condo. In the darkness of the fall evening, her three mommies surrounded her and ushered her into the back seat, where a wonderful sight awaited her – her very own car seat! She squealed as she climbed into it and Mama buckled her in snug with the five-point harness. "Is it ours? Do we get to keep it?" "Well yes we do, though I don't think it'll be of much use in Nanny's car." Mama said with a chuckle. "Oh, so now it's on me to swap out for a truck?" Nanny said. "Puleeeeeeeese Nanny?!" Laughter rose as the vehicle pulled out into traffic. Nanny rolled her eyes. "We'll discuss it more later. Mama needs to start consulting with Nanny before buying new furniture, though!" Janet kicked her legs happily, enjoying this new level of security and childishness she had fantasized about many times. Her three mommies chatted, but Janet was deep into little-space now, their words just a buzz in the background as she stared out the dark-tinted glass and watched the car-headlight fireflies dance to and fro. She suckled her pacifier happily, wishing she'd taken Avvy with her. Having a friend to cuddle would have made this moment absolutely perfect. Stop and go, stop and go, the car wandered through traffic, her mommies laughing and joking in the background somewhere, until it finally stopped one last time and didn't move again. "Time to go, Chamita!" Mommy reached over and released the latch on her harness. Janet's heart clenched. It was time. Right now, it was time. Time to step out, to be exposed in front of strangers on the street. Time to enter the strange place she'd only ever heard stories of, terrible stories. Her eyes darted around the car. Nanny had her handbag over her shoulder, and Janet could see the handle of the paddle that had on rare occasions made contact with her bare bottom. Janet didn't feel so safe anymore. She felt exposed, vulnerable, full of dread and anxiety. She began to tremble as the soother fell from her lips. "I... I can't.... Mommy, I can't!" Her throat began to tighten, and tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "I wanna go home Mommy! I can't go in there!" The faces of all three women changed, reflecting deep concern. Mommy snatched her up out of the carseat and onto her lap, pulling her close, while Nanny rubbed her leg and Mama her back. "It's okay, Chamita. It's okay. You can do this, I promise. Mommy would never make you do something she didn't think you could do." Other words of encouragement came from Nanny and Mama. Her pacifier was tucked back into her mouth, and Mommy rocked her gently. "Be brave, Jan-Jan," Nanny whispered. "You can do it." "Jan-Jan need a ride?" Mama offered. "No, I know Chamita's strong enough to walk with us, isn't she? Mommy and Nanny and Mama all be right by your side, baby, holding your hands the whole way. You can do it, baby. Look at me, Chamita." Janet looked up into Mommy's eyes. "Say it, Chamita. 'I can do it.'" "I... can do it." Janet didn't really believe it, not all the way. "That's right, you can do it." Mommy squeezed her tight again. "Say it again, Chamita. Mean it this time." Her mommies were all here to keep her safe and protect her and love her, just as they had the entire year since she agreed to become the full-time baby of this little poly family. How could she be afraid now? She trusted them completely. Surely they would not abandon her now. "I can do it." "That's my big brave Chamita! Let's go!" And with that, the car door opened, and out they went. This wasn't a particularly busy area of town for foot traffic, and even though she knew people in cars passing by could see her, those faces didn't mean anything, she couldn't see them. She clutched two hands tightly, and a third one rested on her shoulder as she took trembling steps toward the door. Mama opened it, and in she walked. A tall, dark-haired woman in a leather catsuit stood at a counter across the room, and as she saw Janet, she grinned broadly. "And who is this adorable little thing? I might have to check some ID!" She laughed, and Janet's mommies all laughed with her, though Janet just blushed. "Well this happens to be the belle of this particular ball. Lassetter party?" Mama spoke coolly and confidently as she reached forward to shake the woman's hand. "Right through that door," the woman replied. Got a good turnout for this one. Have fun cutie!" Right... through... the door. They were here, now. No turning back. Mommy gave her a pat on the bottom and whispered, "Go ahead, Chamita." Janet steeled herself. She stood up straight, took a breath, and marched toward the door, pushing it open and nearly stumbling on the staircase on the other side. Nanny caught her arm as she regained her balance and surveyed the scene. There was no evidence of any of the horrible things Janet had heard about. A huge sign greeted her overhead, "Happy First Birthday, Jan-Jan!" it declared. And suddenly the room noticed her as well. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they all shouted, breaking into raucous applause. She spotted Tracy from the CAP crew, and her heart soared. One by one her little friends from so many play-parties and visits and overnights came into vision, and she squealed with joy. There were balloons everywhere, and a ball pit, and littles and their mommies and daddies filling the room. This dark place had been fully converted into a little princess' birthday ball. She turned back toward her now grinning mommies. "I... I was so scared! I... heard so much..." "Silly girl!" Mama said, pulling her into a hug. "This was the only place I could find that would host a birthday party for a big little girl like you!" "Oh, thank you, Mommy! Thank you Nanny! Thank you Mama! I love you!" She reached out to them all, and they surrounded her in a huge embrace. "Oh little Chamita, you know you deserved it." She did deserve it. She was a good girl, and she had the best mommies a little girl could ever dream of. Full of happy thoughts and love, she turned and dashed down the stairs and straight into the fray, just like a little girl at her very first little-girl party. The paddle? Oh yes, she did catch the paddle later that night. Right before she cut the cake, Nanny got one good shot on her very padded bottom. Her "birthday spanking". By the end of the night, Janet was positively giddy at the idea of having a second birthday party. But only if she deserved it...
  20. Hello! I’m new to the website and thought I would post one of the role play stories I’ve been doing with someone who doesn’t want to be tagged, similar to far from home and some sophie And pudding stories. However I’m not quite sure if i did everything right, I can move this to a different section if it’s not right. Disclaimer: English is my first language but the person I’m doing this with is German. His second language is English his English is pretty close to perfect but there are some times things will be off, and I do not have the time to go back and edit all of them! So yay! Hopefully it doesn’t bug you too much and if you don’t like it well, don’t read it... we both love this story and we hope you do to. AND OH MY GOSH IM SORRY ABOUT TENSE CHANGES AGGHHHH I’m not that good at writing... please be nice. Without further ado here’s my first attempt at a story: Chapter One I was a little worried about Elaina being sick and at home alone, I decided I’d give her a call just to make sure she’s ok and didn’t need anything, “heyy Elaina how’s the cold, feeling any better, is there anything I can do for you?” "Hey Will" I cough and sneeze in the phone. "It won't kill me, I think. If you could bring me some peppermint tea and some more tissus that would be great." “Sure thing laina you’ll have to give me a couple minutes though” 5 minutes later I show up at the house with some blankets, tea and tissues. Walking in I find you lying on the couch resting your eyes, or sleeping. Quietly I whisper, “heyyyyy Elaina you up?” I open my eyes and skriek out loud. "Oh my god! You scared me to death. Please never ever sneak up on me like this again" “Ah! Sorry I didn’t want to wake you if you were asleep! Here’s the tea you wanted and the tissues. I thought you could use a blanket” I sat down in an armchair next to the couch, not sure how long I’d be staying. “Hey hey hey no you stay lying down, I’m going to make the tea and I’m gonna cook us some soup. You just stay comfy” I stand up and rub her back for a second before getting up to go to the kitchen "Thank you so much Will." I take the blanket and curl myself in. "I will make me some tea as soon as I find the strength to get up from the couch." I groan a bit "And I still have to cook something" Soon after, I return with the tea, with a lid and straw in it so it doesn’t spill, I walk back over to Elaina but instead of taking my arm chair seat I sit next to her head on the couch. tapping her shoulder, “alright you thirsty for some tea?” I guide the straw to her lips As I feel the straw I don't even bother to open my eyes and just accept the straw. I drink a bit and smile "Thanks for taking care of me, will" “Any time and every time Elaina. Just drink up for me” holding the cup with one hand I started rubbing her back with the other I drink the whole cup of tea and my tummy grumbles. "How long will the soup take? Iḿ really hungry." I lean against your hand. It´s quite strange to be cared for like this, but I kinda like it “Just a sec I’m heating it up Elaina, do you want more tea?” I hear your stomach growling and rest a hand on it “do you need to get to the bathroom?” I blush a deep shade of red. "No, I don't need to go, I'm just hungry." Actually, I needed to go but it would have been way to embarrassing.... “Alright if you’re sure, if you need to go just tell me and I can help you get there if you need it” I finished up the soup and brought it over to the table on the side of the couch, “can you sit up for me so we can get you some soup” I sit up, still cuddled in the blanket. "Thanks but I think I could go to the bathroom myself Oh, and the soup smells great, thanks for cooking." I say and grab the spoon. “Oh alright you must be good to feed yourself too then” I was going to grab the spoon but she seemed to have it handled, I went back to my seat at the armchair and kicked back pulling out a book, I figured I’d stay, I could always help if she needed me again I dig the spoon in the soup and guide it to my mouth. Just then I have to sneeze and the soup flys from the spoon threw the room. "God damn! I hate being ill!" I was never good at sitting still, was always full of energy and being forced to lie in bed all day was just horrible. And because that's not enough, I have to sneeze and get everything dirty “Oh! One second Elaina don’t move a muscle” I hurried to the kitchen and brought out a few napkins, I dabbed at elainas nose and shirt and the couch, I wiped her mouth clean too. “Here why don’t you let me do this, you just relax” I say taking the spoon and scooping up the first bite, “alright open up” I blush again. Being cared for like this reminds me of the times when I was ill as a little girl and my mommy and daddy taking care of me. "Uhm, thanks, I think." I say while opening my mouth and allowing you to feed me. I feed the first few spoonfuls normally before a quick tease “here comes the choo choo train” I say with a warm smile and a small laugh in my voice I eat the spoon full as well and smile back at you. "Thank you daddy." I tease you back. ˋIt´s nice to have such a good friend who cares for me and jokes with me´ I think and continue eating “Aww I think the baby’s just a little delusional” I teased right back. but inside my heart flutters when she calls me daddy, even though I know she’s only joking. Maybe some day she’ll actually call me that. But for now she was sick, so I just kept on finishing until the bowl of soup was empty Once the bowl was empty I cuddle myself into your arm. We did it many times before and it just felt so right at that moment. "I hope I will get better soon" I say and press my legs together. I waited a minute and just watched her be comfortable In my arm. But eventually i knew we’d have to move, so I scooped her up cradling her in my arms letting the blanket fall off her. “Alright if you’re gonna nap let’s do it in bed ok Elaina?” I began walking over to Where I knew her room to be from my previous visits to her house I cuddle in your arm while you carry me. "Wait, I need to pee before you bring me in my bed. Otherwise I will flood it" I joke and give you a kiss on the cheek. “Alright making a detour to the bathroom!” I announced in an announcer voice impression, I did a quick spin for fun and headed that way, “what’d you do that for baby?” I didn’t mind the kiss at all heck no, I just didn’t know why she did it, we weren’t a couple... "I don´t know, you take such a good care of me, I think a little kiss on the cheek to thank you for that won´t hurt." I hide my face at your chest. It was embarrassing and felt wrong now that I gave you that kiss. “Hey it’s ok sweetheart let’s get to the bathroom” I open the door and push it open with my foot, taking note of the bath and shower. Nooo definitely not I thought to myself. I resumed what I was doing and lifted the toilet lid skillfully with my foot setting her down on the seat "Thank you for bringing me here, I think I can manage the rest myself." I blush a deep red and images of you undressing me and sitting me on a childs potty flash in my mind. I knew that you are very protective, but today was a totally new experience for me. “Haha I know that silly, just shout out if you fall in” i joke one last time before walking just outside to wait for her, whistling a bit, the same image running through my mind of undressing Elaina. I brushed it off though when she mentioned it casually” I go to the toilet and wash my hands afterwards. I splash my face with some water and come back out of the bathroom. "I think I got a fever, Will. I´ll need to check my temperature." “No no no let me handle that, you, off to bed, March” I walked into the bathroom and checked the medicine cabinet finding a thermometer that would work for Elaina. I walked back on to her room thermometer ready. "it´s, you know, the kind of thermometer, well, for the bum." I stutter. "My mom always said that taking the temperature in the bottom is the most accurate way and I never changed to anything else." “Oh ok that’s a little different but it’s no problem, I don’t imagine you’re able to reach back there and use/read it well by yourself?” I ask walking up to her rolling you on your stomach flipping her skirt all the way up, but waiting to hear confirmation before continuing, looking around searching for eye contact Oh my god, he is going to take my temperature! I blush and hide my face in my pillow. I don´t respond to your question, but that I lay still with my bum up in the air so you can reach it better is an answer for itself. Somehow will found her need for help adorable, and removed her panties. “Alright try to relax Elaina, 3, 2, 1,” Will inserted the thermometer feeling her muscles clench up immediately but then slowly relax In my position you can see everything you shouldn´t and I bite in the pillow to relieve a bit of distress. I can´t prevent you from seeing my private parts, but I pray that you don´t recognize the little wet spot in my panties. Just to prove you wrong with your question I tried to hold my pee longer than I should have a while you carried me, a spurt of pee escaped into my panties. Will waited about a minute before it started beeping, he took it out and looked, “it looks like you do have a fever. 101 degrees!” Will let out a low whistle. “Alright let’s get you all fixed up then” will started pulling the panties back up but his pointer finger felt a little wet when he grabbed them. He looked at the lavender colored panties and saw a small spot of darker purple. He pulled the panties up the rest of the way and flipped elainas skirt back down, rolling her over, he announced “it looks like you almost didn’t make it! You gotta tell me Elaina when you have to go to the bathroom ok? Now let’s get you under covers and in bed” will pulled the covers up. Only now did he notice some of the things in her room, she actually had some stuffed animals, and she still held onto her baby blanket. It was one of the reasons he first took an interest in her actually, the fact that maybe she liked being little at heart. He’d figure that out later, but to start he decided to grab a stuffed animal and bring it to Elaina. I cuddle into my pillow. "I was fine the whole time, Will. My last accident is ages ago!" It was a lie, but a lie that you didn´t need to know. I hold it till the last second most of the time. Other things where just more important than going to the toilet. But the result of this was more than one accident in the past couple of month. I take the stuffy and blush again. "Could you hand me that blanket? I can´t sleep without it. Super embarrassing, I know." “Haha alright I don’t judge baby girl” will got up and brought the blanket back to Elaina, “does your blankie have a name, or your stuffie?” Will asked this in all seriousness knowing that lots of little girls with stuffed animals loved to talk about them, would Elaina be any different? "The blanket doesn´t have a name. But my stuffed animals all have names. The dog you gave me is called Laika. The bear over there is Mr. Cuddles. I cuddle him whenever I´m sad. Uhm, the giraffe in the corner is called Marta and the monkey on my wardrobe is called Charlie." I tell it to you with full enthusiasm. Not many people know about my stuffys and those who do normally don´t care to ask about them. “Well nice to meet you all Laika, cuddles, Marta, Charlie I’m sure you’re all very nice and will look after Elaina as she has her nap right?” I chuckle and kiss Elaina’s forehead, “there now we’re even, get some sleep I’ll be back to wake you in an hour or so” "Thanks will." I take my blanket and Laika and cuddle with them and soon drift of to sleep. Elaina looked so peaceful napping, he’d have to have her take them more often. For now he went back to his armchair and thought of what he should do the rest of the day for Elaina. Maybe a visit to the doctor’s was in order? No it was just a cold, only if things got worse. Tonight we’ll watch a movie I decided. ——————————————————————————— feed back is appreciated! Thanks for reading my story 😃 there’s definitely more to come (maybe, like i have more written buttt...)
  21. I finished brushing my teeth with the new "sonic" toothbrush that Gloria bought me. I didn't see what was so fancy about it, but I wasn't going to object. The past few days had been amazing. I had been so afraid to tell her my secret.. I had carried it for almost twenty years. How do you tell the woman you just moved in with that you like to wear diapers? I didn't need them, I just liked them. And yet, here I was, standing in our bathroom in a lime green onesie and nothing else, a thick diaper barely hidden by the snap-crotch. Pink plastic peeked out on either side and the bulge was very clearly there. I was still in shock, honestly. I had finally given my tear-stained confession three weeks ago, we'd been dating for a little over two years and had moved in together about a month ago.. and then the packages started appearing. It was more than I could have dreamed. Every day was like Christmas. That night, Gloria had told me that she also had a confession, but it took some courage to work up to as well. She said she'd tell me soon. I swore to myself I'd be as accepting and loving about whatever she had to tell me as she had been for my dark secret.She had told me that she'd be home late tonight, but she expected me to be in the crib when she got home. One of the packages had been an inflatable crib, we blew it up and put it in the master bedroom, in the corner. It stood to my chest, I could crawl through the "bars" easily and climb over it, but there was something wonderful about it. Tonight was going to be my first night sleeping in it, I had no idea if it would actually be comfortable or not, but when I had laid down in it the first time and she stared down at me... I was in heaven. I crawled in through the bars and laid down, hugging my stuffed unicorn tightly. I grabbed the amazingly large paci she'd bought, it was red with a white ring - the package it came in said it was from Germany - and clipped the pacifier clip to my onesie and popped the nipple in my mouth. I laid down to watch a show on my phone, I was madly in love with Steven Universe - I'd seen this episode 3 times already, but it was wonderful. Garnet was so inspiring, how she was who she was regardless of what anyone thought.Just as the episode was finishing and I was singing along with the closing lyrics as best I could around the paci, I heard the front door open."Jackie sweetie, I hope you're in your crib!""I am! I'm a good girl!" I called back, letting the paci dangle on the clip. I climbed to my knees to stare over the crib bars at her, sinking into the inflatable mattress."You are a good girl, you're mommy's good girl," she cooed at me and set my heart aflutter. I knew she wasn't physically attracted to me this way, but this love was just as special. It was still a romantic love, I wouldn't want to share this particular feeling with anyone else on the planet, but it wasn't a sexual love. "Okay, I know I've been holding off on my part of the confession for a while, I wanted to make sure you felt loved and accepted before I spilled my dark secret, too. You need your paci right now," She paused to stroke my hair and pop my paci back in my mouth. I swear there was a glint of light as she tapped the shield, but it had to be my imagination. "There's nothing wrong with you, sweetie. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear a diaper and sit in a crib, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be taken care of, to be made to feel small and protected. You know that, right?"I nodded, tears forming unbidden in the corners of my eyes. She was saying the words I had been wanting to hear since I was a child. I had always wanted to wear a diaper, I had no idea why. I had asked my mother when I was young, I was 5 or 6, and she had mocked me and told me everyone would make fun of me. She had made me wear one of my little sister's diapers and stood me in front of the mirror, making me wet it while I stared at myself... the whole while she told me that it was wrong for me to want to be a baby, wrong and shameful. I felt the fear and shame grip my heart as I was suddenly 5 years old again in my mind's eye, but Gloria's soft touch brought me back to reality."There's nothing wrong with you," she continued, "I like it when you're Little. You have this innocent sweetness about you that I never knew I wanted. You're so darling and fragile. Your emotions are so close to the surface, your sad, your happy.. and your emotions feel stronger this way. I love it. I love you. I'm happy you trust me enough to share this part of yourself. I'm happy to put you in a diaper and make you my little girl."She sat on the corner of the bed and stared at me, her dark brown eyes shining with love. She smoothed down a wrinkle in her hospital scrubs and pulled the tie out of her auburn hair, letting it fall past her shoulders. I loved it when she let her hair down, she was gorgeous. Gloria was a little heavy set, she had some insecurities around that, but I loved her anyway. We were about the same height but she had a few pounds on me, I was almost too thin, you could count my ribs when I stretched. She also had DD cups to my B cups. Hers wouldn't look good on me though.. and they were amazing on her. People were mean to her a lot about her size, especially her family, but I was always there to help pick up the pieces. It wasn't from a lack of trying on her part, we'd done the same diet together... she just couldn't seem to lose the weight. It actually caused a little bit of static between us, because I lost 15 pounds in a month trying her diet, while she struggled to lose 5. I felt badly for her, not because of how she looked - she was gorgeous to me - but because of how other people made her feel."There's a secret I have kept from you too," she said softly, "It's going to sound stupid, but I swear it's the truth. Everyone I've ever told has left me.. so I've been afraid to tell you. I love you a lot, Jackie." I reached for the paci to tell her I loved her too, but she put a finger to the shield, "Shh.. let me talk. You're too little to talk right now, just listen." The words sent a shiver down my spine. "I'm.. bruja," she said, looking down, "It skips generations in my family... it skipped my mother and grandmother, they thought it was gone forever.. but.. " Gloria looked like she was about to cry. I tried to spit out the paci to console her, but it wouldn't budge... trying to spit it out just led to me sucking on it. "It'll be good for us. I have to get this energy out somehow and this way, you get to experience a little something extra." She stroked my cheek, "You're too little to get out of your crib alone." She said with a smile, and I knew I saw some light on her fingertips this time. "I want to show you we can have fun with this, it's not all bad," she scooted back on our queen-sized bed, "Come to mommy." She held her arms out to me.I had no idea what she was talking about, I had no idea what bruja meant, but I knew I would love her no matter what. I stood up to climb over the inflatable railing of the crib.. but I couldn't. I couldn't lift my leg high enough. Gloria smiled at me."Come on, sweetie, come to mommy," her arms were so inviting, I tried to sit down and crawl through the bars, but I just couldn't. It was like something was stopping me from leaving the crib. I sat back on my diapered butt, confused. Gloria came back to the crib and leaned down, helping me up by my armpits. With her hands under my arms, I was able to swing a leg out of the crib and stand next to her. I tried to ask her how... but I still couldn't talk around the paci, nor could I spit it out. I was actually starting to get a little scared. She pulled me down on top of her on the bed and hugged me. "It's okay sweetie, be a big girl and use your words," she said as she pulled my paci from my lips."Gloria... what just happened?" I asked, my voice thick with fear."I told you sweetie, I'm bruja. A witch. I have the power to make people believe things that aren't true, make it real for them for just a little bit. Actually, I have to. If I don't, I get sick. We're going to find out if using it to make you happy has the same effect on me as... what I normally need to do with it. That's my secret. Do you still love me?""I... wha.. you're a witch? Like seriously? Hocus pocus and broomsticks and all that? That's not real, Gloria. Are you making fun of the secret I shared with you?" Why would she make light of this? I bared a piece of my soul to her. If she couldn't take it seriously... I don't know what I'd do. This wasn't a joke to me.But it didn't look like it was a joke to her either, her lips tightened with hurt and the smile faded from her eyes as she helped me back into the crib. I didn't resist, my emotions were in turmoil."No, Jackie, I'm not making fun of you. This is really hard for me to talk about," she frowned, "Let's assume I'm 100% telling the truth. Would you love me if I were a witch?" She was serious. Completely and totally serious. As I gazed into her gorgeous eyes, I could see the fear of rejection there. That feeling I knew all too well, I had shared my secret before and been mocked. Sharing it with Gloria had been terrifying and painful, but she loved me even though the desire I shared was... ridiculous. I promised myself that I would go into this with love and acceptance, just as she had.. and I was failing."Of course I would still love you." I looked her straight in the eyes and professed my love with all the sincerity I had in my body. I would never do anything to hurt this woman, the first person who ever really saw me for me. A tiny flame of fear kindled in my heart that I was causing her the very pain I was terrified of myself."Do you need to go to the potty?" she asked me, not breaking the eye contact. "A little bit," I confessed. This was a little frustrating, we were having a serious conversation - this wasn't the time to play our Little game. I needed her to know that I was there for her, I didn't want her to hide behind my Little feelings. I wanted her to know that she was loved in equal measure, "but this is serious, Gloria. I don't want to hurt your feelings. I love you deeply, and if you're serious about this, I want you to know that I'm there for you.""Shh," she stroked my cheek and the light was on her fingers again, "You're too little for the potty, use your diaper." I felt a tingle where she touched me, that traced its way down my body... into my diaper."What?" I asked.. and felt that my diaper was growing warm. I put my hand between my legs and felt the padding swelling up under the onesie, "Did I just?""You're too little to stand by yourself," she booped me on the nose and my legs collapsed. I stared up at her from the inflatable mattress of the crib. The glow was still fading from her fingertip.. there was a faint red hue to the light. I tried to stand up but my legs wouldn't listen. I started to panic. I couldn't stand!"Gloria, what's going on? Why can't I stand up?" I couldn't keep the panic from showing in my voice, but she looked completely calm.. the fear was fading from her face, she was Gloria again."Because you're so little, silly. You're just my tiny, little, baby girl. Isn't that what you always wanted? You like being Little.""I do like being Little... are you saying you can take away my bladder control? My ability to walk? You can make me your baby?" I couldn't believe the words that were spilling from my lips, but I could feel that nervous joy growing in my stomach. Butterflies. It was impossible... but I wanted it so badly."Yes, sweetie. How does that make you feel?" She was probing, her tiny core was vulnerable, she was serious about what she was sharing. This... was real. The possibilites were incredibly exciting and terrifying at the same time. But in her question, there was fear. If I responded with fear as well, it would break her."Can.. can I stop you?" I couldn't keep the tremor from my voice entirely, nor could I keep the blush from my cheeks. I didn't honestly know how I wanted her to respond."Do you want to?" There was a touch of sadness in her voice, that fear of rejection. She was placing her secret heart in my hands and hoping against hope that I didn't crush it.I sat on my squishy bottom and thought about the implications of her supposed power. My diaper was warm and comfy and I didn't have to struggle to wet it. It was electric, my heart was pounding in my chest. I had wet a diaper for the first time just two days ago.. it was so hard! I had to imagine I was sitting on the toilet for minutes before I could finally go. Gloria had teased me about it as she changed me. Having her touch me and then just wetting... even if it wasn't magic, it was magical. It was hard to believe.. but it was hard to deny too."No," I grinned, "But.. if I wanted to, could I? Or can you use it as a punishment?""Ohhh, someone wants to be bratty, huh?" A smile spread across her face as well, with a glint of playfulness in her eye. She saw me. Of course she saw me, Gloria knew me better than any other person on the planet. She loved me, despite all my imperfections. She saw me for who I was, in a way that no one ever had before. And she accepted me."Maybe... may I please?" My heart surged in my chest. For some reason, I wanted her to make me Little. I didn't understand the desire, but it felt amazing."Let's see, you already can't get out of your crib, you can't stand up or walk, and you have no bladder control... what else do you want to lose?""Can you take my words?" My pulse was racing, this was too good to be true. If I was dreaming, I didn't want to wake up."If your tantrums get out of control, yes I can. I can render you completely mute or I can leave you with just a few words. Is someone feeling fussy?", Gloria reached forward and pinched my cheek playfully, "I'm going to make a big bottle for you to drink and you're going to drink the whole thing without fuss, right?""No!" I shouted, though I couldn't keep the grin from my face, "I'm not thirsty! I don't want a bottle!" I laid down on the mattress and kicked my feet, flailing my arms, "No no no no no!""Sweet girl," Gloria smiled, "Someone is too little to speak, no words from you." She tapped my forehead with a glowing finger.. and my words were gone."Waaah!" I yelled, finishing my tantrum with a grin. "Yaa!" I giggled and clapped my hands. I had never felt this little before. I was trapped in a crib, in a wet diaper, and I couldn't say a word until my lady love allowed it. I laid down and sucked on my paci and hugged my unicorn while I waited for my bottle. She came back with it and I sat up, reaching for the bottle and opening and closing my hands."Does someone want their bottle now? Is my little princess going to be a good girl?""Aaa," I let the paci drop from my lips and nodded."Drink it all gone, or I'll make you," Gloria smiled. "I expect that diaper to be nice and wet for me. Show me how little you are, princess."The feelings were amazing as I lay back and drained the bottle. Peach water, she had added a sweetener to the cold, cold water. It was delicious. This was my fantasy come true. I didn't have to ask for it, I didn't have to pretend. I really was Gloria's Little this way. I had no choice. There was no shame in something I had no control over. I was completely trapped... and free to enjoy it.And that made it all the sweeter.
  22. It had been a while....since I had stopped with my secret. One of my friends found out and made jokes, so I lied and said I no longer do it. I had gotten rid of everything and now....I wanted all back. I wanted diapers, a baby dress, the accessories, and other things. What would I do? Maybe I will order a few things and hope for the best. Lets just hope my friend doesn't find out, because shell make a field day of it. Like last time. She wanted me to do the fetish in front of people, her, and such. But I wouldn't. So I rid of everything. Cause she is forceful when she wants to do something.....
  23. mstyprz

    Mystical 3

    From the album: Mystical

    [b][color=#00ff00]Girl in a diaper and pink plaid shirt, spread eagle on an organ.[/color][/b]
  24. Hi my name is Bubbles and i came here to meet new friends and just get more involved for the community Some of you may know me from my work with Abdreams.com, my name is bubbles there too. I love abdl even though i just got into it about a year ago when i turned eighteen. Apple showed me the way and i'm so very happy she did. I would love to talk and get to know people. Xoxo, Bubbles
  25. mstyprz

    Mystical 7

    From the album: Mystical

    [color=#4b0082][b]Girl in diaper and bra laying on her stomach.[/b][/color]