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Hello Everyone! Every now and again I see a post where someone is looking to do a commission but have no idea who does commissions or how much they cost. So I decided to contact a few writers who I knew did commissions and compile a list for easy access to anyone who was looking! I asked the writers 4 questions and they answered them. Here are those 4 questions. 1. What are your rates? 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? If you are a writer who accepts commissions send me a PM here on DD answering these 4 questions and I'll add you right away! Alrighty now onto the writers. ======== @Elfy ======== 1. I charge $15 per 1,000 words. 2. I accept payment through Paypal and need to be paid up front before work begins. 3. I will write pretty much anything but I won't write anything where the main character is under 18. It doesn't matter how innocuous or innocent your story is if the main character is a child I'm not writing it. I don't mind writing children in secondary character roles. 4. I specialise in stories of forced regression and humiliation though I'm open to trying anything (even non-ABDL stuff ? ) I have an extensive back catalogue of work with links that can be found on my profile. If you wish to support me another way I have a Patreon that I update every four days at: https://www.patreon.com/Elfy88 ======================== ======== @PinkTheDinosaur======== Writing commission is between $10-$20 for a chapter/ short story. (paid by amazon gift card.) 1 chapter (7-12 pages) will be 20. Short story (6 pages or under) 10-15 depending on how many pages it is. What I will do Almost anything What I won't do Sexual themes involving any character under 17, or any character the looks under 16 No gore No ferries (i don't hate furries, I'm just not good at writing them! sorry!) No scat play. (as long as its inside a diaper its fine.) No fanfiction on movies, tv shows, books, or mangas that I have not seen. If im going to do fanfiction, I want to portray them right. No sequels to stories you do not own without permission from the original author. I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ANY COMMISSION FOR ANY REASON! I will also take any creative liberties I can to help flesh out characters or settings if needed. how will they work? First Send me a message with the Subject being “Commission work.” In the message give me a rough idea of what you would like your story to be. I will put you on a waiting list and get back to it as soon as I can. Second When I get to your commission, I will give my thoughts on the idea and estimate how many pages it would take to finish. Third I will make a rough outline of the story you want and ok it with you. Forth Once i am finished with the first draft i will ask for payment. Payment is non-refundable. Once i have been paid I will give you the draft. From there, you will look it over and see what might need fixing. I will fix the story as needed. Once the story is complete, you are allowed to do what you want with it. Just as long as I'm listed as the author of the story. Or you can allow me to post it on my account with you listed as the owner. ======================== ========@Tfmonkey======== My rates are: 2k words for 25$ Methods of payment: Paypal,cashapp, and Venmo Main Character under 18 is a no. I only write stories focusing around regression, forced regression, mistaken identity, and diapers. No boys stories, just males babying females. ======================== ========@PeculiarChangeling======= 1: My commission rates are as follows: 10c per word charged in 500 word blocks. (50$ per 500 words.) Patreon/SubscribeStar subscribers at the All Access tiers (Diaper Butt or Bed Wetter) get a 20% discount. Fanfiction or other stories requiring extensive research may be subject to an upcharge. 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? Paypal. 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? Absolutely no minors, (which means under-18 characters,) even in nonsexual situations. Besides that, everything is up for discussion. 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? My primary skillset is in writing ABDL, Diaper Lover, and erotica, but I am willing to work with other kinks so long as I can write them to a quality I’m satisfied. (We can discuss this on a case-by-case basis. ) All commissions will be discussed before payment. We’ll talk about what you want, and I’ll send an outline for approval. Once the outline is approved, I’ll send an invoice. Once the invoice is paid you’ll be added to my writing queue in the order commissions are received. (Hey there! Thanks for actually reading all the commission guidelines before submitting. If you include the password 'Secret Rabbit Cult' in your first message to me about your commission, I'll give you a 5% discount.) If I think any changes should be made to the outline after payment is sent, I will check in with you to approve those changes before I make them. If you wish to make any changes to a section that’s already been written, those changes can be made for an additional fee. (Changes made to a section not already written will be made for free.) All commissions will receive a pass for grammar, continuity, word choice, and other prose. Lengthy stories may receive an additional pass for story flow, to aid in story cohesion. Commissions may be posted publicly, if you wish for a private commission, please mention this upfront and we can discuss options. I will do my best to finish projects in a timely basis, in the order that they're commissioned. However, I do have other commitments. Any estimates on how long a project will take are only estimates, however, I will keep you up to date on any delays which may occur. ======================== ======== @SashaButters======= 1. $10/ 1k words 2. Paypal.me\BeagleJess 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? Sissy. Nope. Nope. Nope. Humiliation. There's probably more, I'm just not creative enough to think of them off the top of my head. 4. Minors are fine. Honestly, I don't see the big deal. Some of the best stories I've ever read on here involved minor characters. As long as they're not Riding the Bologna Pony and Taking the Skin Bus to Tuna Town, I don't care. Let me know what kind of style you want. Do you like 1st person, 3rd person etc, Do you like dark stories, happy stories, funny stories? Do you have a picture you want a back story to? Let me know and we can work something out. ======================== ========@WBDaddy======= 1. $10 per 1000 words, will negotiate a bulk rate for larger projects if payments are made in a timely fashion. 2. Paypal, though I can accommodate just about anything (I think I even have my old BitCoin wallet around somewhere) 3. Graphic scat. 4. As you probably know, NC and CNC are a specialty of mine, but I'm flexible regarding themes if you can be flexible with how I execute them. ======================== ======= @Mee======= 1. What are your rates? My rate is currently $10 / 1,000 words. 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? Here's my Ko-Fi! This is an easy way to publicly log commission payments that's convenient for me and you! (If you aren't comfortable paying this way, please let me know!) 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? No directly affected minors! - Kids can be in stories, but no flexing kinks on kids. No fan fiction - I have to protect my head canon! Most other things should be fine, but please discuss to make sure I'm comfortable with all the content! 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? I like to consider myself very flexible as far as when it comes to writing a story or stories. You can be vague, but I'm a strong believer in that the more you give me to work with, the more satisfied you'll be! Not only that, but it puts me at ease when I have something that I know you want to see/like and know I can play off of it. Give me outlines, character sheets, one-line summaries; anything! Getting to take someone's ideas and help bring them to life is an extremely exciting and fun process for me, especially when it's related to ABDL to boot! I want to grow as a writer, so being given a challenge is always fun. Fantasy, Modern, Sci-Fi, etc. Warrior women invading a universe and tipping the social structure, or being hypnotized into thinking that every toilet is out to get you! My strongest suit is 3rd person, but 1st person is certainly doable. Reach me through any of my socials (Here, Patreon, Deviantart, etc.) But a direct email for inquiries - MaybeMeeMail@gmail.com Looking forward to hearing from you! ======================== ======= @DiaperRebel ======= 1. What are your rates? $5 per custom written short story with the option of $8 for an accompanying drawing of a scene from your story 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? Venmo account 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? No minors please 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? I tend to appreciate the power imbalance humiliation side of our community, but I’m willing to mix our creativity into something we can both enjoy ;D. Check out my profile for my writing style and PM me with requests. Thank you for your support! ======================== ======= @reginold ======= 1. What are your rates? $10 for 2,000 words. My rates are fairly cheap as I'm not yet confident in my writing skills. 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? PayPal, but ill also accept stories or art as payment. 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? I will not write furry stories or stories with minors in them. 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? I am a knew author wanting to try my hand at making a buck or two. I mostly focus on non penetration smut fics. I would like to make it clear that I am autistic and that I would prefer an exact list of what the client wants. ======================== ==== Currently unavailable ==== Below is a list of writers who for one reason or another haven't been available to take commissions for a while. This is mainly based on the user's last activity, but other information might play a part in it as well. Reason will also be provided if possible. If you are on this list and are currently accepting commissions, please PM me and I will update it. ========@mamabug======== Reason for being added to currently unavailable: Recently got married and hasn't logged on since April of 2021 1) $3 per 500 words (Unless you're on my Patreon tier for 20% off) 2) Mainly Paypal, but I can do CashApp as well. If those aren't available, I know there are other ways! 3) I can't think of anything specific at the moment, but I'm always open to say if I am or not comfortable writing a story! Just ask if you're interested 4) Read my stories before asking about a commission to understand my personal writing style. Also, I work on a lot of projects at a time, so it may be a bit slow at times getting stories finished (but I always do and try my best!) ========================= ========@LonesomeLamp======== Reason for being added to currently unavailable: Had a break from DD and did not respond to message asking if they still did commissions. 1. What are your rates? Stories are written in 11pt font, calibri (for a calculated 690 words/page). I charge $1/page, up to 5 pages. At 6+ pages, I charge $5/500 words. I also charge a $3 “security deposit” that gets deducted from the final price upon completion. If the commission is cancelled late in its development, I keep the deposit and recycle what of the already-written material I can. Yes, you get a rough draft. Significant changes to the story may incur additional charges. 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? PayPal, gift cards (steam, Amazon) 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? As someone else said, there isn’t really any issues with minor characters as long as it remains innocent enough. My stories are rarely innocent (because fetish and sexual themes), therefore, like many others, no minors allowed. Exception: I’ve not tried to write an innocent abdl story yet, but am willing to give it a shot. Also, my f-list can be found here: https://www.f-list.net/c/rocco the skunk/ It is not 100% accurate, but is very close. 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? I mainly write smut. Furry characters preferred, but I’m down for human characters too. Also, original (or adopted) characters only, unless you (and by extension, me) have permission to use the character. Proof of permissions will be needed in that last case. In addition to the basic info needed for the character(s), like name, age and height, be prepared to give additional info, such as their likes and dislikes, and fragments of their personality as they relate to the story (I will likely be getting in contact with you on an as-needed basis in these cases). Also, please give me a sense of direction on how you want the story to go, else I’ll default to my personal style (which means things are going to get wet, messy and steamy). Examples available on request, but know that every single one is furry-themed, and some, I put less effort into than others. ======================== ========@justanotherdiaperlover======== Reason for being added to currently unavailable: Has been inactive for awhile. 1. What are your rates? Rates? Haha, no, I'll do it for FREE. I just do this for fun, nothing much else. I may not be the best on the market but I'd argue free is a decent price. 2. What are the methods of payment you accept? Once again, free. 3. Is there any kind of legal content that you do not feel comfortable writing? Only inflation, that makes me deeply uncomfortable. I'm fine with doing most others though. 4. Is there anything else you would like to add? Nope!

I do hope you all enjoy this~ this is a comm I got recently and its ready to be read and admired by all~ Miles "Tails" Prower had no idea what to think when Nonah, a white and black striped raccoon, walked into his office. The young mechanic listened intently as this young woman sat across from him, lamenting. "Oh dear I just don't know. I haven’t been able to find my baby in so long.. I feel like I’m so close but she’s avoiding me at every turn..” Hearing the woman’s story, Tails couldn’t help but get a bit misty-eyed; the hero in him wanted nothing more than to help this poor distraught mother find her baby. Taking out a small notepad, he went to jot down the information, though he realized he had no pen. Looking around his desk, the young man sheepishly smiled before speaking once more. “Umm, Miss? You wouldn’t happen to have a pen or something I can write with, do you?” Smiling in return, the raccoon reached into her purse and pulled out a peculiar looking pen, bright pink and covered in little white swirls. He eyed it for a bit before taking the pen, starting to write out important information in the bright and sparkly pink ink. Though as he started to write, the boy could swear the ink itself started to move along the page. “C-can you tell me ‘bout this little girl?” Nonah smirked a bit, her black fur covered eyes closed as she took a deep shaky breath. While she spoke, her voice seemed rather soothing to the young fox, his ears twitching a bit lazily as he wrote down what she had to say. “Well, she is a gorgeous little one. Far from potty training age, the little thing, she’s about your height actually.. maybe a head shorter or so, with orange fur and a bit of a white tuft on her chest. She absolutely loves the color pink.” Writing all this down, Tails nodded. The pink writing started to shift on the page, Nonah continuing on as she reached into her bag. She produced a small vial of perfume, spritzing it on herself. The scent of something sweet passed Tails’ nose, his body twitching, his writing slowly growing more and more sloppy. A peculiar sound interrupted the raccoon as she spoke, sounding like a faucet dripping. Tails’ ears perked as he looked around the room, jumping down from the chair he was on, placing the notepad down on the surface of his desk. Though as he did, his paws landed in a small puddle. The scent was undeniable, the acrid smell reached the raccoon's nose as it twitched and wrinkled, giving a knowing look to the smaller boy as she stood up and smirked at him. “My my, did you have an accident sweetie? Well, I can’t say I’m not used to those.. let me help you out with that.” Reaching into her purse, the woman pulled out a soft looking pink rectangle. Tails looked on in horror as she unfolded it, a small mat covered in cupcakes and rainbows being shown to him. She reached out and took his hand, tugging him over to the mat and laying the two-tailed fox down on top. The sweet lavender scent of powder soon followed as he felt the cool snowy talc landed on him, soon being sat up and feeling his tails, one after the other, slipped into the back of the plastic diaper, the tape adjusted around them to hold it tight as the rest of the diaper was pulled between his legs. Looking down as she finished, he noted the pink diaper he was taped in, blushing brightly. It was covered in small frills at the waistband as well as being covered in the same patterns as the changing mat the raccoon was currently rolling up. She nodded to the young man, giving him a gentle giggle. “You are about as squirmy as my little one is~ oh, it’s going to be just amazing having her back.” The young mother clapped a bit as Tails stood up, his double tails twitching as they got used to being snuggled into the diaper. He took a few steps forward, noting the thickness of the pink diaper, as well as the way it noisily seemed to crinkle with each little movement. He wasn’t used to this feeling, that was for sure. He stood a bit dazed after the lightning fast change, a few minutes passing before he spoke up, reaching back for his notepad. “Umm.. th-thank you Miss, though It’s not really necessary.. I’ve been potty trained for quite a while. In any case, is there anything else you can tell me about your daughter?” Nonah stared at Tails for a few minutes, the young man standing now in just a pink diaper waddling about while studying his pink-inked notes. She shook her head a bit, giggling once more before waving a hand. “Well, she is a very playful girl. She’s so cute when she skips everywhere with her tails waving all about~” Tails nodded as he wrote that down, taking another few steps around, the diaper crinkling the whole way. He grabbed a large towel, taking a little time to clean up the puddle he had left on his hands and knees, sighing a bit. Sometimes it was pretty lame being the adult in his life. Picking up his chair, the young fox grumbled a bit while blushing. He really couldn’t believe he had been brought so low, having to clean up his own piddle while wearing a pink diaper. These thoughts distracted him enough, the chair slipping from his hand and, much to his annoyance, dropped right on his thumb! “OWWW! God dammit!” Feeling his thumb throbbing, the fox fell back from the chair, tears welling in his eyes as he reactively plunked the thumb directly into his mouth to bite down so he’d stop himself from screaming out more in front of this woman. He felt arms reach under his armpits, soft white fur snuggled him up, the worried eyes of the raccoon now looking at him. “Oh no, you poor thing. Did you get a little booboo? Did that mean old chair give you an owie? Oh goddess honey, no sucking your thumb, it’s been on that icky towel. Here, use this instead.” Soon finding a soft hand gripping his wrist, a soft pop was heard as the thumb left his mouth, a line of spittle coming away with it before he found something rubbery forced right into his maw. He crossed his eyes a bit trying to see what it was, though he did manage to catch a glimpse in the mirror to see the pink guard of a pacifier plunked right into his mouth. The bright pink guard was a contrast to the orange fur on the fox and his lightly red blushing cheeks growing even brighter. “Oo did’n hafta doo dat.” Hearing the infantile speech thanks to the large bulb in his mouth compressing his tongue, Tails grumbled a bit chewing on the pacifier, though something in him did start to calm down, sucking in rhythm with the throbbing of his thumb. Hearing the gentle suckling, Nonah's smile grew a bit brighter. “Oh sweetheart, of course I did. I can’t possibly sit here and let a sweet little princess like you get hurt, now could I?” Tails’ ears perked up at hearing this; a princess? He wasn’t a little girl though! You wouldn’t know it looking in the mirror however, seeing the boy in his state of dress. Tails looked up at Nonah who returned the gaze in kind, she grinning from ear to ear. “I really do need to thank you, little one.” Tails blinked behind the pacifier as he listened to her speak. He looked back into the mirror, the sight he saw nearly shocking him; looking back at him was a small vixen with orange fur, a little tuft of white on the chest, with a thick pink diaper taped on their hips, twin tails swinging gently in the air. “Let’s finish getting you dressed and head home, my little one.” Tails’ eyes bulged as he saw her grab a mess of pink and frills, soon finding himself slipped into a frilly dress fit for a princess, with the hem just barely covering the top of the diaper while leaving the bottom on display. He wiggled a bit as the dress fit over his body, his body naturally betraying him and lifting his arms up for her, soon finding himself sitting next to the bag, Nonah holding up a finger and stepping outside the room a moment. Returning mere moments later, she was piloting a large pink pram to which Tails found himself laid across the pink cushion, a soft blanket wrapped around his body. She started to push the pram out the door, making sure to flip the open sign to read ‘Closed’ and turning off the lights. “As said, I need to thank you little one. You helped me find my little girl after all! You’re going to be my perfect little Princess forever~” Blushing brightly and sucking away at the pacifier, Tails could only give a small whine as he watched the sunny sky and clouds move above him. He’d surely find a way out of this.. somehow.. hopefully.. Fin

Curse of the Crinkle Crate Composed by Horatio Husky Featuring and Commissioned by Kazard the Fox! Chapter 1 The Box I… Want… Couch Time… Now… were the thoughts of a certain blonde-haired fox, as he absentmindedly fumbled with the keys to his small, cozy home. His shoulders were slumped, and his eyelids half open in a vacant stare as he maneuvered his key into the lock of his front door. The day had been absolutely miserable, all of his clients had been in a bad temper when he spoke with them about their problems, and one of them even seemed to believe that the fox didn’t really know what he was doing. Of course, he knew what he was doing! He’d graduated top of his class by no small miracle, the fox was very talented at his work, but the lack of appreciation and frustration that was thrust upon him by his clients was not something studying could have prepared him for. At last, the key turned, and the door swung wide open, shouldering his bag he strode inside and carelessly dropped it in the front hallway, kicking off his shoes and closing the door behind him with a click, locking it once more. Give… Me… That… Couch… thought the fox once more, as he strode into his living room. However, his couch did not seem to be on the agenda just yet, for the fox almost tripped over a wooden box in the center of the room. Kaz was taken aback, how had this gotten in his home? He didn’t remember lugging a rather plain, heavy looking wooden box into his home. Its dimensions were around two feet by two feet, and a foot and a half tall. Kneeling down, his tail now twitching with apparent interest and curiosity he inspected it closer to find that its lid was hinged, with the front opening to the container facing towards him. What on earth… Did somebody break in and leave this here? He thought to himself, as he reached forward with a paw and tentatively opened the strange box. The lid thumped onto his carpet as he gazed into what was held within the strange item, and was even more confused to see that the box only contained two items in it. A thick square of plastic upon closer inspection Kaz found to be a white, adult diaper, and a note next to it, written in fancy cursive. He picked it up, his eyebrows furrowing as he perused through a short poem, a strange feeling of warmth he didn’t recognize bubbling up in his insides as he did so. For a year and a day obedient shall you be, To the rules and whims of the box at your knee, Letters and rules shall be provided from these wooden confines, Giving you instructions, tasks, items, and lines, And lest you not listen to my behest, Shall you not have your day-to-day be the best! For control and independence are no longer yours From now you’ll always be clad in diapers! Diapers? Control? Is this all some sort of prank that got delivered into my house that one of my friends managed to sneak in? He turned the note over and found that more was written on the back of it, this time not in the mysterious cursive font as on the front. The rules are simple, Kazard. For a year and a day you will be completely unable to control your bladder nor your bowel, making it that at any time whatsoever, you will completely and utterly mess and wet yourself anywhere you are. Within this box, you will find your solution to this new conundrum in your life, which you have agreed to participate in by opening this box. Whenever you open this box you will be supplied with plain white diapers perfectly matched to handle whatever punishment you give them. It is recommended that you also invest in other supplies related to padding, such as powder and anti-rash cream, but those are up to your discretion. You may try and not wear your diapers, but you will find that it is wiser to comply with the rules and keep yourself nice and secure; your continence will not return either if you do not obey the rules set before you. If you wish to communicate with the box, you must do so through a bargain written on a note to express your wishes. However, be warned: the box is liable to interpret and balance any request or boon as it wishes if whatever you offer is not of equal value, so it may be wisest to obey as instructed and keep yourself diapered at all times of the day, otherwise, the consequences will be severe. With that, we hope you enjoy your next trip around the sun padded up! This has to be a joke… Boxes that interpret poetry and supply diapers whenever opened? This isn’t even a funny prank, this is pathetic. The fox dropped the diaper and note back into the box with contempt, what a stupid thing to waste his time with. He got up, the couch now forgotten as his stomach rumbled its hunger aloud to the room. He padded over to the kitchen, turning the kettle on and rummaging through his dry food cabinet, retrieving a large bag of chips. He held the bag in his maw as he stretched, reaching up to the higher shelf to grab himself a chocolate bar. It was just out of his reach, and he strained, leaning against the counter to support his weight as he grasped after his sweet. The counter must have been wet, however, for he looked down as he felt something damp against him. The bag of chips dropped out of his mouth and onto the counter below him. The counter hadn’t been wet, no. It was he who had gotten wet.

I winced as the moving truck hit a pothole. There had been a lot of potholes since we had turned down this road that seemed to have been forgotten by time, and it seemed the state of Texas Maintenance Division. I could see my dad periodically glancing up in the rear view mirror to check on me every time we hit a bump. I groaned in pain as my metal leg braces rattled up against the seat. My legs, still healing from the last break thanks to an old bat of a lady who found the potato chip aisle more interesting than watching where she was pushing her cart, were beginning to ache. “It barely touched her, she’s fine!” The old lady had insisted. My incessant wails of pain and the shards of bones nearly protruding from the skin said otherwise. Four more surgeries, and five months of physical therapy later and I was somewhat back on my feet. Kind of. I looked down at my legs and grimaced, now painfully swollen in the confines of the braces. Without the braces supporting my weight and keeping them straight, my legs were almost useless. They had been broken so many times they bent this way and that. There was next to no muscle mass, despite everyone telling me there was still a chance of gaining some use out of them if I just kept working on strengthening the muscles. To this, I always responded with, “What muscles?” My legs stopped where normal people my age's knees should be. Between that and my curved spine, I was a whopping 3 ft and 4 in, or a little over 102 centimeters tall. At school, I was by far, the shortest kid in my junior high. I usually hid my midget legs under a long skirt, or had a light blanket on my lap, mostly relying on my powered wheelchair to get from class to class as an aid from the disability department trailed behind me. To be fair though, it wasn’t really that old lady’s fault for breaking my legs. She really had only tapped me with her cart as she said. It would have been so much worse if I hadn’t been in my wheelchair; the fall could have killed me. When I was around one and half, my mom lifted me by the legs while changing my diaper and heard, what she thought at the time, was the cat batting something around on the floor nearby. I began screaming bloody murder for the rest of the day. After changing me and realizing no amount of bottles, food, cuddling, or sleep would console me, she reluctantly took me to the emergency room. After all, all she had done was change me, there was no way I was hurt. Turns out, the sound she heard wasn’t the cat. It was my hip breaking. It opened up a whole CPS investigation after reading the results of my x-rays. Not only was my hip broken with no possible explanation other than a diaper change, but after another set of x-rays just to see if I had sustained other injuries in their care, they saw improperly healed breaks in my right leg, right arm, three broken toes, two fingers, and a rib. My parents almost lost custody of me right then and there. Hospital staff were in the middle of filling out a child abuse report when a doctor noticed a strange phenomena in my eyes. Where the white should have been, there were instead streaks of blue. After running more tests, I was diagnosed with osteogenesis imperfecta, more commonly known as brittle bones syndrome. “You doing okay back there, Forest?” my dad asked. “Are you trying to hit every bump in the road?” I replied. “You’re gonna break my neck before we even get there!” The last thing I wanted was to be in a neck brace again. I’ve learned to live with being confined to a chair, all I ask in return is free range of my neck. It was awful only seeing what was directly in front of me. I could hear my mom playfully chastise him about the nickname, but he just laughed. We had a bit of a twisted sense of humor in our family. My real name was Jasmine, but my dad either called me Wade or Forest, depending on if my braces were on or off. Both of them horrified the general public, and I got just as much of a kick out of it as my parents did. My parents, my dad especially, were not very politically correct about my condition, and I liked it that way. Dealing with people was awkward, I didn’t need that kind of tension at home. I’ve been told I hide my insecurities behind a self-deprecating sense of humor. During my physical therapy sessions, as I held onto the staff’s hands and inched my way up and down the hallways my father could often be heard shouting, “Run, Forest, Run!” Seeing the horrified looks on the staff and fellow patients faces was priceless. It wasn’t until he explained why he sometimes called me “Wade” that almost got him kicked off the visitor list. Some jokes were meant to stay amongst family. Two years ago, for my 13th birthday, my dad had taken me to the movies to see DeadPool 2. When the scene came on where Wade sat on the couch with a normal top half and baby legs, my dad leaned over and whispered, “See, you could be a movie star if you wanted to.” “Oh, Forest, listen!” My dad said suddenly before turning up the radio. Oh no. I let out a groan. “Our song is on!” A soft guitar melody played before Ed Sheeran, accompanied by my dad, began to belt, “When your legs don’t work they used to before!” “Stop it!” I groaned and shook my head. “And I can’t sweep you off of your feet!” “I’m taking my hearing aids out!” I said yanking out the small brown devices from my ears. I could still hear him, but he was muffled and sounded further away, almost as if underwater. I hadn’t realized how much I had begun to rely on reading lips until the pandemic hit. The hearing aids helped, but only so much. With everyone wearing masks, understanding people had almost become impossible without saying, “Can you repeat that?” at least ten times. I had at some point broken a handful of small bones in both my ears and now sound didn’t travel as well into the inner canals. In other words, my ears were deformed because I kept sticking my fingers in them as a kid digging for wax. Thank god I wasn’t a nose picker or I’d have suffocated during this pandemic. When I was sure the singing was over, I put my hearing aids back in. No need damaging my ears any more than they already were by listening to my dad try to hit the high notes. “Honey, is the other van still following us? I haven’t seen it in quite a while.” “They probably just took the main road further down. It’s fine, I’ll call them when we stop.” “Are we stopping soon?” I ask hopefully. I had never been in a car this long and my joints were beginning to ache. I fought against the 5 point harness that had me buckled in straight and tried my best to get comfortable. I stared at my little brother, Evan, enviously. He was sacked out in his car seat completely dead to the world. “There’s a gas station about 40 miles.” My dad said. “40 miles.” My mom grimaced. “Is there anywhere closer to stop? I really have to go to the bathroom.” “There’s plenty of cactus to choose from.” my dad said. “Very funny.” My mom said. “No, seriously.” My dad chuckled. “How about a Gatorade bottle?” My mom let out a snort. “What about you, Forest?” I rolled my eyes. “Jeez, you women are so picky. Why did I think a road trip with girls would be a good idea? If we have to stop at every gas station so you can pee we’ll never get there.” “Just because you have no problem going on the side of the road doesn’t mean we all have to. Right, Jaz? Jaz?” “My life would be so much less painful if I was a guy. I would so pee on the side of the road if I was a dude.” I admitted. “Forest, no, you can’t be a boy.” My dad said suddenly, before breaking out in a grin. “That would have been the first thing you’d break.” “That would be an awkward trip to the emergency room.” My mom admitted. “Hi, 911? Yes, my son, James, broke his penis touching himself again, should we just glue it back on or- oh ok, I guess it’s Jasmine from now on.” I laughed. “There’s no bones in a penis… I already googled that before.” “Why are you googling penises, Jaz?” my mom asked, turning around to look at me. “To know if I would have broken it by now.” I admitted. “But you can’t so…” “What would you do if you had a penis for a day?” My dad asked. I laughed as my mom smacked him. “What kind of question is that to ask of our 15 year old daughter?” “I would have definitely taken you up on that Gatorade bottle, and then I would helicopter dick myself to Austin already.” “Enough about penises, both of you.” My mom said, shaking her head. We rode in silence for a few seconds until my mom added, “I’d take you up on the Gatorade bottle too.” ………………………………………………………. When we finally pulled up into the gas station, I watched as my mother nearly bowled over a group of children on her way to get inside. “Uh, I can wait, thanks.” I said, still strapped into the seat. My dad chuckled. “I’ll get your chair, sit tight. She’ll be back to help you.” I could hear my dad rummaging in the back. There was lots of crashing, and swearing, before finally the back door shut again. My mom still hadn’t come back yet, and I was starting to fidget. It wasn’t good for me to wait this long. My bladder wasn’t very strong, and getting in and out of the car, into the chair, then into a bathroom and on the toilet was a whole production that took time. I craned my neck and looked for either sign of them. Finally, my dad came back, but without my wheelchair. “Small problem.” He said. “It’s in the other truck.” I looked at him horror struck. I could walk five, maybe ten steps max with assistance. Someone, most likely my dad, was going to have to carry me. As much as we tried to avoid it for both our sakes, sometimes it was the unavoidable cost of needing constant care that he occasionally had to help me with personal needs. My mom couldn’t be everywhere, and sometimes I had to be picked up. Since I couldn’t afford to be dropped even a single time, my dad had to do it. Even grabbing me wrong could break bones. I sighed in defeat. He’d have to be the one to take me to the toilet. “Let’s get this over with.” I unbuckled myself and scooted to the far edge as I could and slowly inched myself down the makeshift ramp on my butt until my legs were dangling outside the van. “Sorry, Forest. We can’t leave Evan in the car. We’ll have to wait for your mom to come back and we’ll all go together.” “Yay,” I said sarcastically. We waited a few more minutes. I was getting more desperate. We tried to make small talk, but I interrupted his speech on how great the children's hospital here was. “Dad, I can’t wait much longer.” I admitted. “Can you watch, Evan? Will you be okay by yourself for a minute? I’ll see what's going on.” I shrugged and hung out on my perch for a few minutes. My dad came back with a large grin on his face. He ignored my many questions before digging in the back and coming out with a pair of my mom’s pants. He chuckled and shook his head. He said something, but I couldn’t read his lips behind the mask. He gave me a thumbs up, but I gave him a thumbs down. “Stupid legs.” I mumbled. I looked left and right. The place was deserted. I was more and more tempted to just hike up my skirt, pull down my underwear and go on the ledge and be done with it, but the problem was my braces. They would have to be taken off. The plastic floor could be rinsed off with a water bottle, but the leg braces cost at least $5,000 each. They were in the way and they kept my legs from going sideways. They ran all the way up from my feet to my hips. “C’mon guys, hurry up.” I sighed in relief when I saw both my parents rushing forward. My mom was holding a bag in her hand and looking uncomfortable. Without a word she threw the bag in the back with the boxes and closed the door before coming to join us. “I’m so sorry, Jaz,” she said. “I thought the chair was in the back and your dad would have you loaded and waiting. Mike, help me get the braces off her.” They worked as fast as they could, but I was running out of time. My mom’s hand kept fumbling with the straps. I was biting my lip and clenching my fist and beginning to rock back and forth. “Hurry up!” I moaned at them. My dad got the left brace off first and set it aside. The air felt so good on my bare, sweaty leg. He looked up and around. Only one other car was in the parking lot and there was no one by it. “I’m going to pull off your clothes, okay?” I nodded and readied my hands to cover myself. I winced in pain as the fabric, as gentle as he was, slid down my legs. It didn’t take much to irritate the nerve endings. “Got it.” My mom said, freeing my other leg. I was finally naked from the waist down. Going inside wasn’t an option. My dad had already turned around and was standing at the other end of the van to give me privacy with however this ended. “I guess you can just go there.” my mom said. I frowned. I had already leaked several times, and it was clear it would go down a leg if not both. The thought of my legs getting wiped down right now made me hesitate, despite wanting nothing more than to just get this over with. “Clean up will hurt.” I said. “Do you see any way she can go without getting it on her legs?” “Uhh, maybe.” My dad said. “I don’t think she’ll like it though.” “Will it hurt?” I asked. “I’ll have to pick you up, but I don’t think it will get down your legs.” “Do it.” I said reaching out my arms to be picked up. I didn’t care who saw what at this point. “Please don’t pee on me though.” He said. I winced as he slowly picked me up. “But I love you.” I said through clenched teeth. My eyes were shut tight. I didn’t want to know his plan, I only wanted relief. “I’d only be marking my territory.” “Don’t you dare.” He said. I felt myself get lowered onto something hard and plastic. “There you go. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” His arms were wrapped around my chest keeping me steady. “Go on.” “Mike! Seriously!” I heard my mom call out. It was too late to change plans though. It was sweet relief. I didn’t care where I was. What mattered was my braces, and it wasn’t going down my legs at all. I didn’t give my dad enough credit. He saved me. He was my hero, my savior. He was- I opened my eyes- He was SO DEAD! “So anyway, yeah.” I emailed my friend on the phone. “That’s how I got my butt stuck in a trash can lid in front of a 7/11 for twenty minutes today. My dad had to pour vegetable oil on me in order to get me out. The clerk even came out and offered to call the fire department for us. Luckily, I kind of look like a little kid with a mask on. Oh yeah, so my dad told me my mom got traveler’s diarrhea, only she forgot her phone in the cab and couldn’t text for help. So I guess I wasn’t the only one in an awkward position.” ……………………………………………………………………………………….. I was exhausted when we finally arrived at the motel. My hips, legs and back hurt. My three year old brother, Evan was screaming his head off and no one could get a hold of the driver in our other U-haul. It wasn’t just my wheelchair, it was all of my medical gear, my records, my clothes. It was a good thing I didn’t pee myself earlier because until we find the truck, all I have is the clothes on my back. I crawled on the floor, dragging my near limp legs behind me into the bedding my mom made me on the floor. I wasn’t happy about not getting to sleep in a bed, but there was nothing to prevent me from rolling off. I was even less happy about the other arrangement. “But I’m not even a bed wetter!” I protested. “I know you’re not, sweetie, but we don’t want you crawling around and getting hurt in the night. I know this isn’t ideal, but we weren't planning on not having any of your things with us.” I had a special mat I could put on the floor that absorbed my weight and put less stress on my wrists, but that was in the other truck. When I wasn’t in my chair, I was dragging myself along the floor. “I’m not wearing Evan’s bedwetting shorts. I’m 15!” “Jazz, you had to pee in a trashcan today.” “At least I made it to one.” I mumbled under my breath. “Look, it’s just in case for whatever reason. Maybe you wake up in the night and you’re just in too much pain, or you can’t wake us. No one’s making you use them, but if you do it’s no big deal, here’s some wipes, and a spare. There’s a trashcan by your head. Just slip it off and throw it away and no one will know.” “Mom! That’s-” “Just wear it, Jasmine.” My dad said into his pillow. “We want to go to sleep.” “Fine.” I grumbled. “What?” I asked when my mom knelt down next to me. “I want to see what it looks like.” She slid my skirt and underwear down and winced. “Oh, Jaz. That looks so painful. It’s all swollen.” “Yeah.” I mumbled into the pillow. “It hurts.” I winced when she started rubbing ointment into my skin. “I’ll get you something for the pain in a minute, this is just for the swelling.” I nodded, before pulling out my hearing aids, and laying my head down on the pillow. I let out a yelp when she got to my hip as I let her guide the shorts up my waist. “I changed my mind. You’re staying put tonight.” She handed me a pill and a sip of water. I wish I would have listened. A few hours later I woke up with a nagging bladder. I didn’t want to use the shorts, but I couldn’t fall back asleep no matter how much I tried. In my half conscious mind, still heavy with sleep and oxy, I began to crawl to the bathroom. I made it two feet away from my blanket pile. I heard the snap before I felt it. In the blink of an eye, I was on the ground. My mind was filled with hot searing pain that radiated from my left wrist to my elbow. I was vaguely aware of dull muted voices around me as I rolled on the ground clutching my arm and screaming in pain. Hands picked me up and carried me out into the night. We had no way of knowing this trip to the emergency room wouldn’t be like all the rest.

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