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R.A.D.S (Regressive Adult Development System) By Spark I was a twenty-five-year-old guy who had dropped out of college and bounced from job to job. I never found any kind of career, and I didn’t have any prospects for one any time soon. I was still living at my dad’s house, and certainly couldn’t support myself without his help. More importantly, I wasn’t doing anything to change my situation. I hadn’t worked in over six months, and that job only lasted a few weeks. I was supposed to pay rent, but I hadn’t paid in many months, and didn’t do anything to help around the house. My younger sisters also lived at home, but Erica, my eighteen-year-old sister had just graduated from high school and was enrolled at the local community college. She still wasn’t sure what she would do but seemed to be taking her classes seriously. My other sister, Jill, was twenty-three and had just finished her master’s degree in psychology and was working on her PHD with a renown Psychologist, Dr. Kimberly Felds. Dr. Felds was an expert on young adults, particularly those who hadn’t developed any sense of adult responsibility. She developed a program called R.A.D.S, which stands for Regressive Adult Development System. My sister talked with my dad and felt I would be a good candidate for this program. What is R.A.D.S Dr. Felds started R.A.D.S as a method to take aimless adults and help them develop responsibility to function as typical adults. According to Dr. Felds, regressive adults (RAs) , were really just small children, more like a pre-k child than an actual adult. However, since adults have full autonomy over their lives, it is difficult for the RA to process that freedom. They just aren’t ready for that level of autonomy, and they need to have that autonomy taken away, much like you do with a small child. It starts of with the RA being regressed to a small child. The RA has a very strict routine of bedtimes, naps and eating schedule. You would never allow a three-year-old child to be unsupervised, and the RA is also under constant adult supervision. There is always a caregiver who is fully responsible for the RA. Dr. Felds strongly encourages regressive to devices to encourage the regression of the RA, particularly cribs and diapers. Since diapers and forced regression is a significant part of the program, there are similarities to diaper and regression punishment. However, diaper punishment is meant as a short-term discipline that is meant to change that behavior immediately. “If you act like a baby, I’m going to treat you like a baby.” R.A.D.S is meant to be therapeutic. The RA is not ready to handle the responsibility, so that responsibility is taken away. Eventually those responsibilities are meant to be reintroduced, but that’s a long-term process. Instead of days, it’s months, or even years. The first part is the regression, and it isn’t until the RA is completely complaint and not resistant to caregivers’ guidance that they are ready to begin the second stage, which is the gradual reintroduction of responsibility and maturity. However, that is meant to be slow, and can be fluid. The key is the relationship between the RA and primary caregiver. In most cases, that is a parent, or somebody who has been in a parental role. However, in some cases it has been a spouse. But, that usually becomes more parental relationship in the long-run. In my case, my sister Jill was my primary caregiver. Which was interesting, since Jill is two years younger than me. However, since the RA’s status is not hidden, the entire household must be actively participating in the program. In my case, that included my dad, and my sister, who is seven years younger than me.

Let me be upfront for those unfamiliar with my life history: I am a woman born in 1964 into a family in which female descendants of my maternal Granny Vi's mother have a history of bladder control problems. By the time I was born my mother Alice, her sister Aunt Betsy and their mother Granny Vi were totally urinary incontinent. Probably this was true for all of Granny's sisters and her other daughters whom I never got to know very well. I've had no bladder control since I was 21. The same is true for my 3 sisters and Aunt Betsy's daughter. Just a few of the male descendents, such as my younger brother and Betsy's older son, have bladder control problems which are not as severe as their sisters. Granny Vi had no sons, only five daughters. She raised her girls with the hope each would retain bladder control yet never being embarrassed about wearing absorbent protective under garments. Aunt Betsy and my Mom did the same thing. Growing up we were not treated as babies even when toilet learning was delayed. In the family it was no secret that Granny Vi, Aunt Betsy and my Mom all needed diapers 24/7 to function as responsible adults in a primarily continent world. Those of us with small over-active bladders would be nicely asked to wear 'just-in-case' diapers on long car rides and for special occasions. In the interest of toilet learning we were encouraged to tell an adult when we felt the need to pee or poop, but we were never scolded for not doing so. Once toilet trained and wearing a diaper for mutual convenience on a trip, instead of asking "When will we get there?" we simply used our diapers. At the next stop whose who needed it would have a diaper change. Mom encouraged us to be pen pals with the children of family friends who had bladder problems. Doing so helped us learn to be discreet and compassionate when discussing these issues which do embarrass many nice folks. Several years before I reached puberty I began to feel some of my pen pals intensely disliked diapers while others found diapers comforting. Personally I was never embarrassed or ashamed when diapered, but I preferred wearing more conventional panties when I was sure I could use a toilet in time. Flash forward to 1985. That was my summer between pre-law university and moving to law school when I lost all my daytime control. The expense and logistics of diapers 24/7 was overwhelming! Often that depressed me. In 1990 I had been a licensed attorney for 2 years. I had my own apartment. Needing to buy disposable diapers constantly and to carry used diapers to the dumpster was a drag. My youngest sister Missy was already married and was the first of my siblings to present our parents with a grandchild. When my niece was about 9 months old I told Missy my diapers were depressing me. Missy burst out laughing, "Angela, do like I do. Simply have fun with your diapers when you get the chance. Do you know there is a whole world of very nice adults who have control yet wear diapers for fun? Some of them call themselves 'adult babies'." Missy then handed me a copy of FETISH TIMES with an article all about a club called Diaper Pail Fraternity and another article about a magazine published in Seattle called THE PLAY PEN. To me the people mentioned seemed sensible. Missy put a new pacifier in my mouth, "Sis, give it a try. Relax. Chill!" Suddenly I felt far less depressed. Flash forward to the early fall of 1995. I had been writing a regular column for the DPF Newsletter since early 1991 and had been happily married to a good man willing to cooperate when I needed to chill as a big baby girl since October 1991. Out of the blue through DPF I received a letter from a male psychologist married to a female urology resident. They were worried by the number of children who never wanted to give up diapers. Most of those children became so desperate for diapers they resorted to stealing them from younger siblings, relatives, church nurseries, even from stores. They begged me, as an attorney who wore diapers, to join their effort to encourage parents to freely let their kids wear diapers just for fun. Mutually we felt the risk of those children being arrested for stealing was worst than the cost of providing a few packs of diapers. Often when given diapers the kid lost interest quickly. But if a kid still wanted diapers after a couple of weeks, then the kid probably was an infantilist for life. At that point the parenting goal was to teach the kids to be circumspect while obtaining, using and disposing of diapers. To inculcate those lessons the parents needed to avoid judgment. They needed to communicate with the kid. They needed to set realistic rules, such as how the kids could help pay for the diapers. By late 1996 about 20 medical, mental health and legal professionals mutually formed WHEN KIDS LOVE DIAPERS as an on-line resource aimed at parents. Of course it turned out quite a few older kids discovered the WKLD website. By 2000 the founders of WKLD felt the risk to our professional reputations were too great to continue. Until recently a mirror website still presented a sample of WKLD circa 1999. Think about a world in which people of all ages can wear diapers for whatever reason without risk or judgment? Does this make common sense?