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I have been a DL for many years, but I only wear my diaper for urination, not for bowel movements, this is not and has not been an option for me. I have been wearing diapers for over 15 years also because I don't have to constantly visit public toilets when I'm out and about, so I can be much more relaxed about my daily life. How did I find the site of dailydiapers? About 9 years ago I was on vacation in Spain, thin sheets on the bed, it was still warm in the evening, but towards morning it became cooler, cold legs, cold feet and a dream of the toilet, I woke up and, was slightly dismayed that I had let it run into my pants in my sleep. I therefore searched for "bedwetting" and so also landed here with you ?. I found it interesting to read about everything here, I also tried catheters. However, I noticed right away that for me complete urinary incontinence at the moment is not the thing what I wanted to have for me. Despite all this, I find it exciting to read about all the posts, about the thoughts and feelings behind them, and about those who have managed to become incontinent or bedwetters. I have never written until this post, had also not yet created an account here, but was only a silent observer. But now I would like to report about myself. Finally, I am ready! So, it began with me about 15 years ago: Initially, I wore diapers irregularly during the day, but usually used them only in the evening on the way home after work or on longer walks. In 2018, however, I read here from some who are on their way to get incontinent, by using diapers regularly they developed an overactive bladder. I found this to be aspirational for me as well. From then on, I also used the diaper all day, but not at night. However, should I also develop bedwetting, this would be an option I would not be averse to. However, I am not working on this goal yet. When I started in 2018, I had a monster bladder, I could hold forever, drink well in the evening and go to the toilet only after 2 hours, because I felt pressure only then. What has changed with me since then? (This is also the reason why I wrote nothing for so long, because I had nothing to report that could interest anyone, but now I think the right time has come): At the beginning not much happened, that was clear to me, and I was not unhappy about it. I let things take their way, I am relaxed about it. However, since the end of last year, I have noticed that I have a much more frequent urge to urinate, or in one out of three cases, when I have a diaper on, I often don't even remember that I used it. In hindsight, I think, oops I had done earlier in my diaper, after checking, ?, yeh. In the evening I usually have no diaper on, but as soon as I feel the slightest pressure, I always go to the toilet, this can be once every 20 minutes, if I take plenty of liquid. And I like to do this because I know that by doing so I further weaken my ability to hold it in for long periods of time. If I used to have to get up at most once a night, now it is almost always twice often even three times. However, I don't mind this because I know that this also brings me closer and closer to the goal of developing an overactive bladder. From time to time, I don't put on a diaper during the day to see how far along I am. I haven't had any accidents yet, but I've been close. I had to hold on to myself very much, to hold on and go to the toilet very quickly, and it wasn't even too much that I peed. A few months ago, I intentionally moved on. If I was previously on the road for a long time and the diaper was already filled to bursting, then I stopped it, no matter how hard it was for me, just to not have an accident. This I have now intentionally abandoned, because only in this way I can make further progress. It has never happened much, sometimes some urine ran down my legs, and if it was more, I was right at home. I am curious how it will go on now, since I am also, as it is often said, in advanced age, this will certainly play additionally into my hands. I'm already looking forward to the day when I consciously don't wear a diaper again, I'm looking at going somewhere where I don't mind if it goes down the pants. Of course, I won't do that at work, but when I'm walking somewhere comfortable, at best, but where I can't just stand against the nearest tree. Does it bother me mentally when this happens: Oh, my God what are people thinking!!? Mentally I have adjusted myself to it: No! I often wear long johns in the winter, dark pants over them and another jacket that also goes over my butt, so it won't be noticeable to everyone right away, and since it happens in small amounts, it probably won't leave too big of a stain, but who knows, I'll just have to try to stay calm, I know I can. But what does it mean to me to develop an overactive bladder? I think I am a person who always tries to keep a lot of things under control. This is the opposite of that, a freedom I don't usually have to give up control. The certainty of not being able to control something anymore. I hope it also creates for me a feeling of helplessness as far as my uncontrolled urination is concerned, a dependence on diapers, not just wearing them for fun, but because I have an overactive bladder and now finally must wear a diaper! And then certainly a great sense of pride that after years of letting go, I have achieved something that I desire from the bottom of my heart, something that you can't just buy in a store either, to have achieved something that most consider a flaw but for me is a great fulfillment. To know that here are many who are similarly like me, who support me and that I am not alone with this thing! And before I now slowly come to the end, I would like to briefly describe what turns me on so much about wearing a diaper: I like the feeling of a diaper on the body, warm and fluffy, then when it slowly fills, becomes heavier and heavier, the weight between the legs, the thick pants! I wear cloth and plastic diapers, earlier mostly not in the summer because I found it uncomfortable in the heat, but I have now also got used to it and I find it great when I get in the heat then between the legs even warmer because I just like to have a diaper on! But now I come slowly really to the end and would like to say, however, that without this forum I would probably never have come to the idea to start something like this, but I would have always felt a certain emptiness, which I can now fill but with this task and the goal! I'll post more as more changes occur or something decisive happens. I would also be happy if I get some kind feedback from one or the other here and of course I will be happy to answer your questions. It would be great if I also reached one or the other with my goal, who thinks similarly about the topic or has the same wishes! Thanks to all who have posted here in this forum so far and to all who will do so in the future. ? (I hope you understand my translation, I’m from Germany and translated and revised it into English)

Based on some posts here: urge incontinence / overactive bladder / incontinence on medical chart, I'm wondering if I should mention this at my next visit to my urologist. I found out about six months ago that I have an overactive bladder but no urge incontinence. Of course I owe this to my training with diapers myself. My doctor doesn't need to know about this. Rather, I want to tell him that I wear diapers a lot because otherwise my overactive bladder puts too much strain on me, and yes, I could admit that I don't mind wearing diapers because of it. I don't know how my doctor will react to the idea of getting me to exercise to overcome my overactive bladder - which, aside from medication (out of the question) - is the last thing I want. My goal is to develop urge incontinence! So I'm wondering what's in it for me if I put the overactive bladder on the medical chart, or if I should wait until I've reached urge incontinence. It is also clear to me that my overactive bladder does not even have to come from diaper training, but from the prostate. This was examined 3/4 years ago and was OK. At that time he asked me how often I go to the toilet at night, I said truthfully: once or twice, sometimes three times. Of course, the prostate is now checked again, which is important for my health anyway! I still have a couple of weeks to see the doctor. That's why I'm writing this now, could you give me please a few tips so I can prepare myself for what I have to, should or can tell the doctor? I look forward to your comments!

Over the last two weeks I've slowly noticed that I've slipped from diaper training into diaper dependency. As I reported before, I was only a DL for number 1 for many years, but a little more than 5 years ago I asked myself whether I could do something to get more diaper dependent. This now seems to me to have been absolutely successful. However, I never had the urge to become a bedwetter or completely incontinent. I decided to achieve an OAB. The problem with this in recent years was that I wore a diaper during the day and used it when I felt the slightest urge. But then the evening got in the way. I was tired from work and regularly fell asleep while watching TV! During this time and also at night, my bladder took over its task again and stored a lot of urine. That's why I hadn't made much progress until a year ago. Since a lot has changed for me in the meantime, I no longer fall asleep in front of the TV in the evenings, and I usually go to the toilet 4-6 times when I'm well hydrated, because I don't need to wear diaper at home. And at night? I used to sleep for 4-5 hours, then wake up with a painful bladder and have to urinate a lot, in the past. Sleep again and then it was morning. For months now I've been waking up about 2.5 - 3 hours after falling asleep and have to let out a much smaller amount, so the urge to pee starts much earlier for me, then I sleep for another 3 - 3.5 hours and have to again. Until last week, I always wore a diaper during the day and also wore it at home to continue training. But I have now completely changed this little by little. Little by little I no longer wear a diaper at home, because the training is now over, I can and have to go to the toilet as often as I feel the urge to pee. As soon as I leave the house, it is unthinkable for me to go without a diaper because I usually have the need to pee after 20-30 minutes, when I am well hydrated, and then at the same intervals after that. The stress of constantly having to go to the toilet when shopping in the city, which in Germany usually costs between 50 cents and 1 euro - the diaper is actually cheaper. As I said, I have to go to the toilet between 4-8 times in 3 hours during the day, which again depends on sweating and hydration. I'm also absolutely dependent on diapers when I go somewhere where I'm around a lot of people. Of course, that doesn't even mean that I necessarily need a diaper when I go for a walk in the forest, I can always relieve myself behind a tree. So I have now fully identified myself as a person with an irritable bladder. I can do without diapers, but then I often have to find the opportunity to relieve myself without being seen. What was important to me along the way, however, was that although I trained and hadn't made any progress for a long time, I never put myself under pressure. Only recently did I notice my progress more and more casually, and only after thinking about it did I realize that it had previously been due to falling asleep in front of the television! Since I more or less want to develop urge incontinence - and that's exactly how I say it because I don't want to put myself under pressure here either - I'm sticking to the path of peeing regularly at short intervals. Urge incontinence will probably result from this doing anyway. How many times have I coughed and thought that it just didn't go down the tube, maybe I need to relax a little more here. But I think I'm on the right track! And now at the end a little summary. I've passed the threshold of training and am dependent on diapers in the way I want, without have to wear no diaper now and then. But I have an overactive bladder and a diaper helps manage this better! It makes me proud of myself but also vulnerable at the same time because I'm no longer quite the same as other healthy people, but I've achieved this through my own training! And I am now the way I last wanted myself to be, body in harmony with the idea of my body, and all in context with a diaper dependency. It looks for me in this context like BIID, too!

Not too long ago I posted something on the medical incontinence group asking what bladder spasms feel like because I was wondering if that’s what I was experiencing. Every now and then I would feel this weirdly intense squeezing / pressure feeling right before I voided. But this was something else entirely. I was sitting at my desk working and I felt a sudden intense urge to go. Usually the urgency grows until I spontaneously wet, which is what happened this time as well. However this time the urgency and intensity continued to increase even after I started wetting, to the point it got painful. Imagine you had a balloon filled with air and you started letting air out and at the same time squeezed the balloon as hard as you could. Except that squeezing the balloon harder doesn’t make the air rush out any faster. Now imagine that’s your bladder being squeezed while leaking! Luckily the pain only lasted a few seconds. But it was enough to take my breath away. If that’s not a bladder spasm I don’t know what is! It’s s even crazier knowing that this is suppose to be a positive sign that my incontinence is progressing. ? Edit: Here is the link to that post.

Hello everybody. This is my first post on DD, I've been a looong time reader of the boards and although I work around computers and servers all day I'm not one that often engages in forum discussions. I'm sorry if I write just to ask an advice but I hope this community can help me: I'm also sorry if this is not the right section, I was undecided if this should be posted on the "Incontinent-desire" board, if some admin feels that way just go ahead and move my post. I would like to first give you some background hoping I don't bore you too much. I'm 26 and through my life I've never had a lot of bladder capacity but never had any serious incontinence problem: I was the "one" among friends that always had to go to the bathroom.. but nothing more. For as long as I can remember I've always loved to wear diapers with a 50/50 mix of convenience (when travelling, at the movies, ecc.) and pleasure, sometimes I was wearing for a real need and sometimes just for comfort. In the last year things have changed and I've been experiencing some difficulty when starting to pee: I pee just a bit and almost always have to force it out, this has lead to an increase in urinary frequency and bathroom trips (even 20-30 in a day). I started using diapers more to overcame this problem but of course I was worried of a possible health problem. I went to two different doctors and they both (after quite a lot of exams) said that I may have a problem with my bladder neck which is too tight or not "elastic" enough, the possible solutions are: flomax (a drug.. I've tried it for a few months but didn't work so much on me) surgical operation (they cut the bladder neck to open it more but it can be a risky operation and has the side effect of nearly sure retrograde ejaculation: the sperm will go back to the bladder leaving me infertile) intermittent catheterization (they say it's preferable to diapers and allow me to completly empty my bladder a few times a day) The doctors strongly advised for the surgical operation feeling that as a young person I woul definetely benefit from it, but after carefull consideration I've decided against it: the operation can be dangerous and the retrograde ejaculation is nearly sure in my case and I want to have children. I've experimented a bit with catheterization and it solves the problem but I fear VERY much the infections, as some of you know it can be unpractical some times even using one time hydrophilic catheters. I strongly feel that given my history with diapers the problem is not so bad and since I don't mind them so much (I could understand somebody who would prefer the catheter) and since I almost always need to pee and have a costant "urge" they are very convenient: I can't always be sitting on a toilet. Coming to the real question: I think that becoming more "incontinent" would help my living situation a lot, I hope that I can achive that without surgical intervention: becoming more "incontinent" (relaxing my sphincters) would free me from intermittent catheterization and from this constant "urge" feeling. I already wear diapers 24/7 (I've started about 4 months ago when my symptoms got worse and I've told the doctors). I want to stress that is a legitimate request: I read about people with complete urinary retention (much worse than mine) that went so far as to get both internal and external sphincter cut to become incontinent since that was better than living with costant urinary retention and dangerous infections. I might add that in the last few years I've been very stressed (for work reasons, I'm managing a startup IT company) so my muscle being very tense might be also related to some "anxiety". I've though a lot about this and as I said I've been already living the incontinent life for a few months. I was hoping that being always protected would help me relax my muscles but after 4 months I still have difficulty voiding properly, always fear little accident and even when peeing a bit 30 minutes later I have a big urge and have to push to let out just a small amount. I can't find which exercise should I do to relax my sphincters: on the net and with doctors they all try to solve incontinence and for people with retention they just suggest catheters! I've read tha I could try to suppress that "clenching" feeling when I stop peeing but that's hard and wired to the "potty training" or maybe I'm doing it wrong, during the night I usually do not wet but I wake up various times feeling very full and sometimes in the morning I resort to using the catheter or I will be peeing small amount all day. Could you share some advices? My goal at this point would be to untight my muscle, I would very much prefer to have less control on my bladder but live better although having to use diapers. Sorry for the long post and my less than perfect english, I'm not a native speaker.