Hi, please call me Chloe.
I'm kinda shy and embarrassed about admitting I'm 49 but still want my nappies and baby things. I tried reaching out once before many years ago in my early 30's hoping to find some sane and supportive friends once i finally woke up to the fact I wasnt the only person in the world who felt this way. A lot of replies either scared or upset me - so please be gentle with me,I truly am just a little girl at heart.
I gave up any notions of marriage etc in my 30's after coming out to my boyfriend (who was convinced that the reason I'd taken off for a couple weeks without him was because I was having an affair) I wound up telling him the truth that I was stressed out and needed a couple of weeks to baby myself and it was unimaginably awful and I just don't think I'm brave enough to go through that again.
It would be nice to be able to talk about it without having to endure the inevitable sneer of disgust etc, and at least here I don't have to be afraid of that kind of reaction. This is all I've ever fantasized about my whole life. The idea of having an accident and then being confronted by some georgeous sexy guy who despite your protestations just seems to know your secret, and puts you back in nappies and treats you like a baby - is just such a turn on for me.
I know at my age its unlikely now to ever materialize but still a girl can dream and it would be really lovely to make some friends and be able to talk about it, ask advice about stuff and maybe even find someone willing to adopt / mentor me as an online daddy / mommy so i have someone to turn to with little girl questions and / or issues.
I do the binge /purge thing still, and often regress if im upset or stressed out or just feeling horny. I know its stupid but Im still deeply embarrassed and humiliated that I have these feelings / needs and often feel guilty and ashamed afterwards like I'm committing some unforgivable sin. I was too terrified of being found out to even buy diapers til my 30's, since then I've always had a stash to hand. I panic periodically and get rid of paci's bottles onsies etc , but keep the nappies now :) (there may be hope for this girl yet!)
I often go 24/7 for several weeks at a time and then find I feel weird about it and get rid of everything or hide stuff then lose interest and it might not crop up or reach crisis point for months or even a year or so. AS I've gotten older perhaps I'm more at peace with it, as I wear more often now and am more confident to do so.
Please say hi - I'd love to make some friends. Its doubtful we'll ever meet, Im just too scared but it would be lovely to have friendship and support - someone to talk to. Just please be gentle and respectful - Im way too young mentally (my little girl self) to be dealing with hardcore yuk.
Thanks and looking forward to hearing from you. I live in north east england btw.