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Taika

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    Finland
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    24

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  1. Have you had any ABDL dreams? It would be nice to know what others’ imaginations have come up to Last night I, my parents and my sibling were on a cruise ship from Helsinki to Stockholm. There were Littles everywhere, and it was normal. Adult babies toddled around in diapers and onesies, pacifiers in mouth, plushies with them. I wandered around the ship and made mom buy me lots of Moomin plushies and toys and then I bought a new backpack for them. My online Little friend was there too, and he and my whole family went to a restaurant to eat and everyone got along. I think I ate a big bowl of delicious fruit puree and a bottle, sitting in a highchair. Then the Little Alarm rang. Pirates had found the ship! They were going to take all the littles! Everyone started to hide the Littles everywhere around the ship, like it was an everyday occurrence for pirates to attack and want to take adult babies with them. Everyone was so conserned, because Littles were considered to be the most valuable things in the universe. Pirates(with eyepatches and wooden legs and everything) started to search the ship. And they found me and my friend! They took us and made us go to an island(the ship had been anchored next to it). They made us walk a weird pier until it went underwater. We had to keep walking and we got deeper and deeper until only our heads were above water. And since we were Littles we didn’t know how to swim. They said we have to go deeper. But then, just in time, the people from the cruise ship came to save us. Pirates fled and we were taken back to our ship. And we were so spoiled. We got dry comfy clothes and diapers and more toys for free and everything... And then I woke up and realized it had been less than 30mins since I fell asleep. Very productive dreaming!
  2. Oh my you do make me want to find a daddy! Sounds so perfect, I envy you so much!
  3. Taika

    Baby Blanket

    I didn’t think about big blankets as blankies, I thought blankies are those tiny things. But if big ones count, then yes, I have several! A basic one at my parents, I use it when reading and writing and watching tv there. At home I have at least three, but my favourite is a giant owl blanket. I spend most of my time under it on the couch, writing and reading on my iPad. When I’m little I spread it on my thick rug, as my playing and napping area. When I go to psych ward or nursing home or such I always take a blanket and plushie with me.
  4. My fantasy is not really a rape fantasy I think, since I don’t want it for sex. The men are faceless, no matter how they look. Actually, the more terrifying, the better. The rape and breast cutting in the fantasy is because I want to destroy my gender. I’m trans and I hate my body, I want to get rid of female things and that is one way to do it, to break everything.
  5. My fantasy(or well, the most realistic one. In most fantasies I have other biological parents, different family, or I’m male, or I have gotten a daddy somehow, or the whole world is different) is very different to the ones I’ve read this far. But I guess I can still share it. WARNING! Very dark and bloody! Read at your own risk! At first I would be my normal self, quite severely mentally ill, alone living pensioner. My sibling would live abroad, but my parents would live nearby and I’d see them often. But one day, when walking on a bridge, a dark van stops next to me. Two huge men jump out and grab me. One takes my phone and throws in in the water. I fight and scream, but nobody’s nearby enough to help me. The men take me to the van, badly beaten. We drive far away, to a lonely house. I’m dragged to a basement. It’s a torture chamber. First the two men plus a third, the driver, drop me into a huge tub full of weird coloured liquid. They hold me there for a while and when they take me out I don’t have any body hair left. It’s permanently gone. Next the men take me to an old mattress and rape me in every possible way, as painfully as possible so that there’s lots of damage. Next I get tied to a cold steel table from my ankles and wrists. One man takes a scapel. He cuts my breasts off, so I look like a boy, and puts them in a jar. I scream until he says he’ll kill me unless I shut up. I decide I’ll never speak again. The man cuts my stomach open and cuts parts of my guts and stomach off and puts them into jars(he wants to save some memories of our time together) so that I won’t be able to absorb nutrients so well anymore. I would become skeletally thin in no time, if I survived. Being cut open by a maniac without any pain relief is not an easy thing to survive. Next he takes a huge, heavy hammer and smashes my feet so that I’ll never walk normally again, I’ll always walk like a baby who’s learning to walk. And the last thing, he hits my head with the hammer so hard I lose consciousness. The men dump me on a busy street the same night, naked and bloody. I’m rushed to hospital and survive, but stay in a coma for a week. When I wake up the doctors and psychologists notice that I have a weird brain damage and trauma reaction. I have started to behave like a 2-3 years old, mute child. I’m also totally incontinent. I panic easily, but my mother(who has stayed by my side the whole time) can calm me down with hugs and kisses.(in reality nobody ever touches me) When I heal enough I move to live with my parents, to my old room. There is an adult size crib and changing table and all my favourite toys have been brought there from the storage and closets. I crawl around with my casts and find my favourite stuffie. I hug it and feel complete. I will never have to worry about anything anymore, I don’t even remember much of my old, miserable life except my first years. My mom will take care of me full-time and it will be almost like when I was a real child. I drink special milk from a bottle and get extra snacks so I don’t get too thin, and I get to go to children’s therapy where we draw and play and stuff, no scary boring adult talking. I’m finally free to be me, without all the baggage and expectations that come with adulting. I think being quite seriously mentally ill(bipolar, ocd, eating disorder, etc.) and my ab side created this weird dream. Particularly the mentall illnesses, I guess It makes me feel odd sometimes, because I’d like it to happen, which is sick I guess. I shouldn’t want to become severely hurt! I can’t hate myself and my life this much! It’s crazy! Besides, this would be awful to my family members, so this is selfish too. But hey, I can always dream right? It shouldn’t harm anyone. Maybe I really should talk to a proper therapist.
  6. Taika

    Baby Blanket

    I have never had a baby blanket, I had and have stuffed toys. I think mom thought the stuffies are cuter and easier to interact and play with(what kind of adventures can you have with a blanket, comparing to an awesome animal buddy?). Personally, I have never understood why some kids like blankies, they hold no appeal to me. I got to know blankies exist only when I was in my twenties, to be honest. No relative or friend had had such. Sure, some babies might like to hold and carry a blankie, at least I’ve seen it on videos, but when they get older they often seem to switch to stuffies and other toys. I never had to give up my friends, I still have several of my baby stuffies. As an adult, when starting to experiment with my little side, I bought different toys and tried what I like. Also a blankie(with an animal head, so it would be a bit familiar). I tried to cuddle it and feel it against my cheek and such but nothing really happened. It was dead to me. Just stared at me. I felt stupid. But when I take a plushie I like I feel it’s kinda alive, it understands my thoughts and listens and it has feelings and needs and so on and I just need to have it close by and hug and pet and kiss it and everything because it’s my little friend... I have kept the animal blankie though. It’s part of my ”let’s start being little -routine”. I brush my cheeks with it for a moment as a part of getting in the right headspace(even though I have never really, really been in little headspace since I always have little traits showing but I never go deep enough to be truly little). I guess I don’t want the poor blankie to feel left out. Other things that are part of my routine are choosing a paci and a clip and lying on my huge pillow and huge blanket, on my thick rug, and throwing a soft jingling ball in the air. A plushie is nearby all the time of course. I also sharpen my teeth a bit with my chewing toy. And play with an animal rattle that also honks and has a tickling furry tongue. Am I weird or can anyone relate?
  7. That! That I’m dreaming of, exactly!
  8. Thanks for being so kind you all, you made me feel very welcome here It’s weird indeed, being like this and wanting anything but this. I want to be a real baby, preferably a boy, or a real man, or a completely ”fixed” female-to-male, or an adult baby of any gender with a caretaker, or maybe even a male adult baby with a male caretaker/boyfriend... Hmm the last would be the best I think. Why can’t I be happy the way things are, my life is supposed to be okay but I just can’t like it enough... I should be thankful that I have a few family members still alive&sane and I have a nice home and I get treatment for my illnesses and now I have support here too
  9. I have never had anyone to nurture me when I’m little. Neither normally. Nobody hugs me or touches me friendly or such. Of course my relatives ask how I’m doing and spend time with me, but still I’d need something more. I might like getting a daddy(about same age as me though). I would love to get hugs and cuddles and it would be fun to lie on top of him when sleeping(if it’s possible to breathe when an adult sleeps on your chest). It would be nice to be fed bottles and fruit purees. And building with blocks or Duplos would be fun together. And coloring, and going to a toy store, and travelling, and everything. He would take care of everything and I could just relax with no worries. Oh man, I love daydreaming... But in reality, I’m too shy to even get a friend, let alone a boyfriend. So, I focus on writing stories about loving relationships.
  10. I talk to my plushies in my head(”I’m sorry I crushed you by accident! What a good boy you are, I love you so much!) I hug them, I always sleep with them. Even when I go away from from home, for example to surgery, to psych ward, or just to spend a night at my relatives’. When I play with my toys I have a plushie nearby. When I drink from my bottle I hug one. Sometimes when I write short stories I have little friends observing. Particularly when it’s infantilism stories. When I watch TV I like to cuddle with a plushie. Nobody touches me, so I need to get the friendly touches from plushies every day, or night at least. I also decorate my home with plushies, for example I have an almost two metres long plushie in my living room corner. Some are on the couch, some on my bed, some in the kitchen. Seeing them around makes me feel safer and calmer and a lot happier. Plushies are the best, I wouldn’t be able to survive without them! Sucking my favourite dog’s floppy ears is so tempting, but I don’t like getting him dirty and the fur wouldn’t be as soft after doing such. And I would have to wash him regularly, which would mean he would get worn sometimes in the too near future. But still, very tempting. Rubbing the ears against my cheek is good too, though.
  11. I have almost everything saved! We wanted so save all my and my sibling’s children’s books. All good baby toys were saved. Classic toys too. Schleich figures and buildings of course, they never lose their value and they can be used as decorations. About 100 stuffed toys. Horse toys, plenty of them. About 15 barbies and their stuff. Dolls, maybe 7. 30 board games or so. Puzzles for all ages. Baby clothes for real and doll babies. Loots of Legos, Duplo and normal ones. Dress up clothes for kids, princess dresses and tiaras and a skeleton-witch costume and such. About 100 Lotta Littles(very tiny animal figures and things for them). So on. I don’t even remember all. My parents’ place has all kinds of stuff. I think mom dreams of grandchildren or something, and both she and I love the things too much to sell them. Good memories etc. The problem is that the stuff is at my parents’. And I can’t get them without looking crazy. My fascination with stuffies is accepted, so I have taken some of them to my flat. And some of the Schleich animals for decoration. But nothing else. Other things are packed away somewhere in a closet or storage. I would love to get my Duplo Legos back. I have a full chest of them! I have hinted at mom that it would be so fun to build a train track and a zoo for old times’ sake but got no reaction. I also wish I could get my easier puzzles back, the ones that have less than 200 pieces. It would be so much fun! But since getting my stuff back is impossible, I have to buy new things. I just don’t have many places to hide them, so at least Duplos are a big no. They’d take too much space. Well, I can always dream
  12. Thanks for the kind and welcoming aswer AbabeBill! You made my evening, I was sure nobody would bother to write an answer, particularly not this soon!
  13. Hi everyone! I’m a 24 years old, biologically female weirdo from Finland. I don’t know what gender I really am, but I do know that I would prefer being born in a perfectly male body. My craziest dream is to wake up one morning and notice that my body has magically changed its gender and I’m a handsome young guy instead of a horrible looking boyish woman, yuck. I joined the site because nobody in real life knows about the little side of me and it’s suffocating. I hope I will be able to chat or message with people here, or at least read what people like and do in their lives. Sadly I’m a bit shy and nervous and I have no idea what to do in social situations(thanks to Asperger traits and lack of experience I guess), so we’ll see. I don’t want to meet anyone in real life, but being online friends might be okay. I’m an adult baby, my age varies and I mix things from different ages. I might wear a cute diaper under adult clothes with secretly childish animal pictures, drinking from a bottle, while figuring out a 100 piece puzzle(I don’t like too easy puzzles, but I don’t want to have to think too much either. It has to be relaxing).I like colouring and activity books too, but usually I prefer most baby and toddler toys and things(like rattles, pacifiers, pacifier clips, bottles, teething toys, plastic cars, so on). But stuffed animals are the best! I have a huge collection at home and at my parents’ place. I always sleep with at least one stuffie, even when away from home. My family has accepted the stuffies, a bit reluctantly though. And that’s good, because I wouldn’t survive without my most important friends. I have no human friends. At the moment the best of the best is a small dog meant for babies, he’s really cute and cuddly. I haven’t been able to really play with my toys lately, except the stuffies of course. My mental illnesses have gotten worse so I haven’t had the energy or willpower to do much. One of the troubles is my eating disorder, which has gotten so bad that I don’t fit in my diapers or most bodies anymore. And I don’t have enough money to buy new ones. So I will have to get better so I can enjoy life fully as a little again. Maybe spending time on this site will help me to feel better and give me the energy to take the stuff out of the closet and do something fun for a while. It should work without diapers, but it just isn’t the same without the safe padded feeling... Anyway, if someone wants to get to know me better or become friends or something, private message me and I’ll try to decide if you seem safe and kind enough I’m not picky about age or gender or such, as long as I’m not going to be abused or used in any way. And the friendship should be somewhat reciprocal(not like ”I write a 700 word letter to him and he answers with one sentence without commenting on anything I said and without even correcting autocorrect and typos” etc.). At least I think that’s how good relationships should work? We’ll see how long I’ll want to keep using this site, usually when using some kind of forums I reveal something stupid and flee after a short while. But I guess here people say kind of embarrassing things all the time, so it might be easier... I hope. Greetings, Taika
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