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essex

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  1. I’ve realized recently that I need to to go back to wearing diapers 24/7 instead of just at home. Last time I was strict 24/7 I had a remote job, so I was able to wear thick abdl diapers all the time. This isn’t the case anymore, so I’m seeking your recommendations for a good daytime diaper. Definitely want a tabbed brief, absorbency and leak protection are super important, but would also like something relatively discreet. I generally wear loose fitting clothing , so it’s not a huge deal. I’m usually able to conceal peekabus without much issue. I was looking at the tena pro skin ultras on Amazon. They seem to be a good value, I was wondering if anybody here had an opinion on those, or something else I should get instead. Thanks in advance!
  2. Hey there i’m a bit late to the party, my mate does commissions, and I could ask her if you’d like. What would you like to have done? I can ask her about pricing. I’ve attached a few examples of some telegram stickers she recently did of my sona, essex.
  3. Well put, that’s how I feel. When I had made the original post I was stressing myself out about it which was causing me a lot of conflict, and damaging my overall well being and progress towards my desires to just wear all the time. This was marginally better than not wearing all the time, because, as you said, when not padded, it occupied way too much of my brain. It was this weird dichotomy, each opposing side causing me stress. What stevewet said here kinda stuck with me: So now I’ve just decided “yeah I just wear diapers now, whatever” instead of the over intense approach I was taking at the time of the original post. Since this change to my disposition, i’m doing much better. No more inner turmoil and shame about my desires, which makes it way easier to stay diapered around the clock. I’m no longer /forcing/ myself to change into a fresh diaper after a shower, then being glad I did 15 minutes later. Now I just have a diaper on all the time because it’s just how I am, and how I want to be. It’s great, instead of loving it 90% of the time, i’m up to 100% No end in site for the foreseeable future and I hope it stays that way! If I do end up taking X amount of days off, however, i’m not gonna stress about it.
  4. Quick update. So I'm still going strong wearing constantly. I've though about what I want a lot, and spent a lot of time on this forum reading other posts. I do still want to be in diapers around the clock, but for the time being, I asked myself why it had to be black or white. After thinking about it a lot, and more or less coming to terms with my desires, I don't quite feel the need to have a reason to be in the state I'm most comfortable in. I think I was being far too intense about everything before. I guess I'm trying to say I'm just gonna wear as much as I can (still 24/7 at this point), but I'm able to be much more casual about it now. I've started seeing myself as someone who /does/ wear, but not necessarily someone who "absolutely needs to wear". I've been using diapers for years, and as such, have no issues wetting/messing in any position without thinking about it, so why try to make myself do anything. Far more comfortable to just /do/ without getting tripped up about it. Rather than forcing myself to wear all the time (which I think was actually damaging to my progress and overall well being), I've just come to accept it as part of who I am. I now wear not due to some phantom obligation or need, but because it's just something I do, it's just who I am. Overall, feeling pretty good. I want to thank everybody on this forum, reading what you all have to say has helped me greatly in "de-shaming" myself haha
  5. Thank you, super helpful! I have no doubt that none of my friends or family would "disown" me or anything, they're all amazing people, but I'm sure you can understand my apprehension over telling them. I just don't want them to think I'm any weirder than I already am lol Thanks for the advice, I have already purchased protection for my mattress and such, next up is plastic pants, as I somehow don't own any. I do typically have underpads on hand as well for my office chair while I'm working or for my arm chair when I'm watching TV (in case I fall asleep or something). I'll have to look into the possible causes. My issue isn't so much telling people, it's moreso telling people without a "reason". I can't very well say "I just like it", that's too much embarrassment even for me.
  6. Pretty much entirely DL. I don’t get too much into the AB side of things. I’m not a fan of activities which are too “baby-ish”, however, something about the diaper usage makes me feel what I describe as “smol”. I think this goes back to me as a child wetting the bed for a long time. I have a distinct memory of being in pull-ups a /lot/ longer than my peers, and being really distraught over having to give them up. I really loved my pull ups. I feel around the age of 4-7 (I think age 7 or 8 may have been the last time I was wetting the bed consistently) when padded, and won’t go too far beyond a pacifier/sippy cup, however, there’s almost nothing I enjoy more in the world than peeing my pants and feeling that wet bulge expanding between my legs.
  7. So I’m getting ready for a long stent wearing 24/7 as a trial run to see if I really want to go through with fully untraining. My biggest fantasy for the longest time has been untraining entirely (urinary only, hopefully, although if I lost control of my bowels too it wouldn’t be the end of the world) and becoming dependent. I’ve been wearing nearly every day for the last two or three months, but not for the entire day. I decided it’s time to put up or shut up and go for another (longer) stent wearing around the clock, no exceptions. My last “24/7” run lasted about 6 weeks, and by week 3 I was already wetting without noticing it. This was about 2 years ago, and it was just about the best feeling I’ve ever had. During this time, however, I wasn’t hanging around my family or my “normie” friends a whole lot. This was made even easier by the fact that it was winter, so I’d stash a good 3 changes, a bag of wipes, and a bunch of plastic shopping bags in my coat to change and dispose of the evidence while at work. This worked out pretty well, and I only had one embarrassing accident the whole time. A few things have changed in the years since. I now work from home, which makes things a bit easier, however, my biggest issue is that I now see my family and my normie friends a lot more. I’m absolutely petrified of them finding out. I also go out of town far more often now than I did before. This isn’t as bad as the issue I have with my friends and family at home, as the friends I stay with when out of town are of the LGBT/kink/furry communities, so if and when I was found out, I don’t think it would be as big of a deal, as they’re at least vaguely away of my DL side. I’m looking to at least double my last stent of wearing constantly to test the waters and see if I can handle wearing consistently. As I mentioned, untraining, and transitioning into full urinary incontinence is my deepest fantasy, and nothing gets me more excited than that. Not to mention my stress and anxiety levels lower significantly while wearing diapers, especially while at work. I’m just generally a happier, more level person when I can feel that warm soggy bulge between my legs. My biggest obstacle here is the stress I get when visiting with family or friends. If I can successfully pull of three months and not want to rip my diapers off at the end of this period, I plan on beginning the process of truly untraining. Tl;Dr, I suppose this is what i’m asking: -best ways to conceal diaper usage from friends and family (also accepting (in desperate need of) good, easy excuses/reasons as to why I wear diapers. boyfriend is understanding, however, i’m really scared that this knowledge would change my friends’ and family’s opinions of me) -help putting together a discreet diaper bag of sorts. Winter won’t last forever, so I can’t keep using my coat for everything, I do usually carry a backpack with me, however, i’m concerned about the logistics of changing at say, a friend’s house, or my family’s house, should that be necessary. -any items I should buy I’ve just purchased a waterproof mattress protector, for that extra confidence boost that, yes, I can wet in my bed with no fear of staining my mattress. I’m purchasing plastic pants soon, and I have several lovely onesies, which are my favorite things ever. Aside from these, are there any must-haves which I should know about? -tips for diaper accountability I know in my heart that I truly want urinary incontinence, however, sometimes I get lazy after a shower and simply don’t want to go through the effort of re-padding. Any tips on overcoming this would be amazing. And last but not least, general opinions on what to expect during this process. There are a lot of amazing people on this forum with a lot of amazing stories, and I’d love to hear from anyone who’s gone through something similar to what i’m planning in the upcoming couple weeks. I’d be extra interested to hear about anyone “coming out”, so to speak, to friends and family, whether it be for need or want, and how they took the news. I’m just feeling so conflicted here. This is absolutely what I want in my heart, and the only thing that’s been consistently stopping me all these years has been fear of others’ opinions of me somehow lessening. The desire has only grown stronger over time, and it’s nearing a point where I cannot ignore it any longer. Thanks in advance, all you wonderful people. -essex
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