randomdudesg

A/N: As mentioned previously, Chapter 4 was posted before it was ready, so some slight amendments have been made. Chapter 5 below. Chapter 5 Daniel pushed a large trolley around the supermarket, with Chloe sitting in the main compartment – she was much too big to fit into the designated seat. Most of it was filled with various groceries, with some snacks and chocolates thrown in for good measure. He turned down the next aisle, which was filled with colourful packages on both sides. “Chloe, what brand of diapers do you wear?” he asked. “Pull-ups!” she said, a little indignation in her voice. “Yes, but which one? Point it out to me?” “There,” she pointed, and he walked over and examined the packs. “Oh, it's actually named pull-ups. I thought that was a type of diaper, not a brand,” he commented. He pulled out a pack of girls designs in the largest size they had. “Says 17-25 kg – looks about right.” “Grandpa buys that one,” Chloe informed him, pointing at the jumbo boxes of pull-ups. “Makes sense, I guess,” Daniel mentally estimated how long a box would last. “I think we better get 2 boxes. We could also use some more wipes, and I guess we had better get some diaper rash cream and powder.” He picked out the items and stowed them in the trolley. He pushed the trolley to the next aisle, which now surrounded him with colourful pencils, coloured pencils, activity books, and toys. “Chloe, I want you to get yourself some fun activity books, and a toy you like. Can you do that?” Daniel asked her, and her eyes widened with a smile. Daniel lifted her out of the cart, and she took a few steps down the aisle, entranced by the many things around her. She picked up a stuffed toy and studied it at arms length, before hugging it close to her chest. Daniel observed her for awhile, enjoying the sight of clear delight on her face. After awhile, he idly scanned the other shelves in the aisle. Activity books, board games, more toys, school supplies, colouring equipment, paints... School supplies! It was as if a thunderbolt hit him. Holy crap – I need to find her a school! After a long day of shopping and a few more hundred dollars poorer, Daniel pushed two fully laden supermarket trolleys towards the main entrance of the mall. Chloe was walking quietly beside him, holding on to the hem of his shirt and walking slowly, rubbing her eyes. Daniel noticed that she was walking a little awkwardly as well. “Chloe, are you wet again?” he asked her softly. “Uh huh,” she replied. “We're going home now, so are you okay if we wait until we reach home to change you?” “Okay...” she yawned. “I'm tired,” she complained. “We'll take a Uber back, so you can sleep in the car, alright?” “Okay...” she rubbed her eyes more as she walked. Thankfully, the Uber driver was helpful and not only had a car seat for children, but even helped Daniel load everything into the car once he had set up the car seat. “Daniel,” Chloe whispered as Daniel was fastening the seatbelt around her. “My stomach hurts, just a little bit.” Daniel paused. “Do you need to poop?” he asked, and she nodded. “Oh no – is it urgent?” “No, I'm okay now,” she said. “We're only around 20 minutes away from home, so can you hold on until then?” “Okay...” she yawned again, and shifted in her seat, her eyes slowly closing. Daniel patted her head, then closed the car door. However, halfway through the ride back, a sudden smell spread through the car, jerking Daniel awake from a light doze in the back seat. A second later, the driver glanced at him through the rear-view mirror. “You smell that?” the driver pushed a button and all the windows wound down a little. Daniel winced in embarrassment. “I'm sorry, I think she pooped in her pull-ups.” The driver laughed. “I have kids too, I know the smell. I hope they didn't leak though... pull-ups are not good for poop, especially for older kids.” Daniel appreciated the driver's delicacy in not asking why she was in pull-ups. “I'm so sorry – if it leaked, I'll pay for the clean-up.” he offered. “No worries, that's why I keep a plastic cover on the seat. Isn't the first time and won't be the last.” Thankfully, they arrived at Daniel's home not long later. He lived in a small, two-bedroom apartment in a relatively good part outside town, with an underground private car park and drop-off bay. The apartment belonged to his father, who let him stay without rent on the grounds that “Eh, it'll be yours someday anyway.” In exchange, Daniel helped his father manage his other rental property, a similar-sized apartment in the same building, and paid for maintenance, utilities, and taxes. Daniel got out of the car, crossed over to the other side, and opened the passenger door next to Chloe. She stirred in her seat as he did so. “Hey, Chloe, wake up, we're home,” he shook her gently as he unbuckled her. “Uh huh...” Chloe blearily opened her eyes and looked at him. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she came fully awake, and one of her hands shot to her pull-up. She touched the bottom of the pull-up, and her lower lip started to quiver. “I know, you pooped while you were sleeping. Come on out and let's see the damage.” Chloe didn't move, but began sniffing and rubbing at her eyes, which were turning red. Daniel reached under her legs and back, being careful not to disturb the diaper, lifted her out of the vehicle, and placed her on the ground where she stood up. As predicted by the driver, two dark arcs stained the back of her pants. He pulled back the hem of her pants and peeked down, noting brown stains on the back of her legs as well. “Oh Chloe... your pull-up leaked.” Chloe was valiantly, but unsuccessfully fighting back tears. Daniel knelt down, reached out and gently wiped a few tears tricking down her cheeks with his thumb. “Chloe, it's okay, accidents happen. You were sleeping, right?” she nodded. “I'm definitely not going to be angry at you for an accident while sleeping. We'll go upstairs and get you clean again, okay?” Chloe nodded again, sniffing hard. One of her hands went to her bottom and touched it softly, but backed off as even that small pressure caused the poop to shift around. Daniel stood up and turned around, and saw that while he was settling Chloe, the driver had not only helped unload everything from the car, but had magically produced a flatbed trolley from somewhere, and was loading the boxes and items onto the trolley. “I'll help you bring your stuff up, so I can take the trolley back once you're done,” the driver told him before he could say anything. “That's incredibly generous of you, mate,” Daniel was deeply appreciative of his consideration. “I would usually decline, but in the present circumstances...” “Don't worry about it,” the driver cut him off, locking the car and pushing the trolley into a waiting lift as Daniel carried the rest of the items which could not fit on the trolley. Chloe, still sniffling, waddled into the lift behind Daniel and Tyrone, The lift door closed, and for a few moments, both men held their breath to avoid being overwhelmed by the noxious fumes emitting from the little girl. “Thank you so much again, man,” Daniel shook the driver's hand. "I'll give you a generous tip for the trouble,” he promised. “Won't say no to that,” the driver smiled as he walked off as Daniel closed the door to his apartment. He took out his phone and gave the driver five stars and entered a thirty-dollar tip. Then he remembered the poop stains on the child seat, winced, and increased it to forty-dollars. He put down his phone and turned to Chloe. “Alright, let's get you – oh dear.” Now that the door was closed, Chloe had broken down into a full meltdown. Facing away from Daniel, she covered her face with her hands, but her distressed sobs were clearly audible as her shoulders shook. Daniel reached out and gently patted her back, and Chloe abruptly spun around and and pressed her face into his shirt. Daniel held his breath to avoid gagging even as he enfolded her in a hug. “Chloe, its okay... shh...” Daniel awkwardly patted the little girl's back. “You'll feel better after we have you cleaned up, so I'm going to bring you to the bathroom, okay?” Avoiding touching her poop-covered diaper, he carefully carried her to the toilet. Daniel gently laid Chloe down on the toilet floor. He pulled off her pants, and saw to his dismay that the brown stains had spread and now covered a good part of her upper legs not covered by the pull-up. “That must feel horrible, huh?” He put the stained pants aside, and gently tore open the sides of her pull-up, revealing a huge mess within. He reflexively gagged as the foul smell hit his nose, but held his breath and soldiered on, carefully taking the soiled pull-up, dumping its contents into the toilet bowl, and flushing. Turning back, he realised he had made a mistake – Chloe's poop-smeared bum was now directly resting on the toilet floor, leaving a stain behind on the tiles. In a flash, he realised one reason most parents carried changing mats around. “Ah – crap, sorry, hold on,” he stood up and ran to the kitchen, grabbing a plastic bag and a old clean towel. He returned and dropped the emptied pull-up into the plastic bag. He was going to place the towel under poor Chloe's bum to protect the floor, before cleaning her up with wipes, but then reconsidered. “Chloe, I'm going to give you a bath, okay? You'll feel a lot better after that, I promise”. Chloe, still crying softly, didn't respond, so he lifted her by her armpits – making sure he didn't step on the poop stain – and put her into the bathtub. Daniel turned on the shower and used it to spray Chloe clean, noting again the redness of the rash. Using the towel, he gently wiped all the poop off her, before wiping the stains off the floor and discarding it with the pull-up. Her crying slowly faded into sniffles as the water washed her clean, and she began to stare at her feet. Daniel somehow got the sense that she was ashamed, and perhaps expecting a scolding. “Chloe,” the little girl flinched as Daniel reached over. He gently lifted up her chin so she was looking at him. “I'm not angry, okay?” He smiled understandingly at her. “I think you're still tired, so lets give you a nice bath, then you can take a nap. Does that sound good?” Chloe nodded and relaxed, and for the first time, she looked into his face and smiled back. One warm bath later, Daniel had helped the little girl apply a later of cream, put on a new pull-up, and a nightgown. Chloe now sat before Daniel, who was using a newly-purchased blow dryer to dry her hair. “Chloe, can I ask you some things about the accident?” he said. Her back stiffened a little, but immediately relaxed as she nodded. Her body language clearly said that she trusted him enough to discuss this with him. “Firstly, when was the last time you pooped?” The amount of poop in the diaper had been massive, much larger than he expected from a small child. “I dunno,” she said. “Did you poop yesterday? You remember, we woke up, got you dressed, went to the church...” She thought for a bit. “Nope,” she replied softly. I guess that explains that huge poop, Daniel thought. “Do you normally poop in your pull-ups?” he asked. “No,” she replied firmly. “I poop in the potty.” “Okay... When was the last time you pooped in your pull-ups?” he probed further. “I dunno,” she replied. “Did you poop in your pull-ups any time last week?” he tried again. “No!” she stated definitively, her body language showing she was becoming upset about the questioning. Daniel sighed. “Its fine. I believe you. However, pull-ups are not meant for pooping, so if you poop in your pull-ups some more, we need to get you real diapers, okay?” “No! I poop in the potty!” Chloe turned her head and glared at him. “Don't turn your head while I'm drying your hair! It's okay, I said I believe you,” Daniel really didn't see the difference between her wearing a pull-up and a diaper, but she clearly felt otherwise. “Okay,” she turned her head back to the original position, apparently mollified. “All right, we're done. Let's put you to bed.” Daniel turned off the hair dryer a short while later. Chloe stood up and yawned, rubbing at her eyes. “Can you go and pee in the potty before the nap?” he encouraged her. “Okay...” she slowly walked to the toilet. Daniel followed her, partly in case she needed help, but mainly to see if she really knew how to use a toilet. He watched as she pulled her pull-up down, but stopped and looked at the toilet seat which was a little too high for her. “Daniel...” she turned to him for help. He picked her up and sat her on the toilet, holding her steady as she found her balance, and made a mental note to buy a few step stools for her. He heard a stream of pee hitting water shortly after, lasting for a few seconds before trickling off. She hopped off the toilet seat, pulled some toilet paper and wiped herself, then threw it into the toilet. She pulled up the pull-up, flushed the toilet. and washed her hands. So she really can use the toilet after all – that's good. Daniel was also relieved that she had no problems using the toilet at his home. He resolved to clean the toilet more thoroughly as soon as he could. “I'm done!” Chloe told Daniel proudly. “Good job!” he praised her. “Alright, time for your nap.” Chloe ran back into the bedroom and crawled into the centre of his king-sized bed, her eyes beginning to close the moment her head hit the pillow. Daniel tucked her in, pulled the curtains almost shut while letting a beam of light still enter the room, and turned off the room light. “Daniel, stay here,” a little voice pleaded as Daniel turned to leave the room. He paused. “Well... okay, just for awhile, then I'll go outside to get some things done, alright?” Daniel walked over and sat on the bed next to her. “Okay...” the little girl's tired eyes closed fully, and before long, her breathing deepened into the regular rhythms of sleep. Daniel marvelled awhile at her peaceful face, before he quietly got up and left the room, leaving the door slightly ajar as the little girl slumbered.

Lol so much for my trying to keep it on a no-names basis ? yes, the manga not the anime.

I must have posted chapter 4 when drunk last night. Sigh. It may need to be reworked as i write chapters 5 and 6, so apologies if that happens. Hope you enjoyed it anyway! I also changed the story’s name to a hopefully better one.

Chapter 4 Bread, butter, cheese, ham, bread. Daniel assembled a decent looking sandwich using the last of the ingredients in his fridge, and sliced it diagonally. He placed it on a plate in the center of the table He heard a door opening, and looked up as Chloe appeared around the corner, holding her wet overnight pull-up. “Daniel, where to throw this?” she asked. “Just throw it in the kitchen bin over there,” he pointed, and Chloe complied. “You should wash your hands after changing your pull-ups,” he reminded her. “Okay.” She walked back to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Daniel poured two glasses of apple juice and set them on the table. Chloe emerged again with clean hands and clambered up onto a chair, which Daniel pulled out for her. She reached out and grabbed her glass, drinking thirstily, before starting on her sandwich. Daniel picked up the other half and nibbled at it. “Is it good?” he asked. “Uh huh,” she answered. They ate silently and awkwardly. Daniel studied Chloe as she ate, observing the way she ate her sandwich crust-first before eating the center, how she ensured she ate neatly and over the plate, and her exaggerated care as she held the glass with two hands when drinking, before setting it down carefully. After Chloe finished her sandwich, she looked at the empty plate, then at Daniel. “Do you want more?” he asked, and she nodded. “Well, we still have bread, but I'm out of everything except butter...” “Butter,” Chloe agreed, grabbing the bag of bread and pulling out a slice. Daniel handed her the tub of “I can't believe it's not butter!” and a spreader, and she deftly picked up a blob of butter, spread it on the slice of bread, and neatly foldied it in half. Daniel was fairly impressed at her carefulness and dexterity. Chloe tore the bread into half, and held one half towards Daniel. “Here, Grandpa, for you!” she exclaimed. Daniel sputtered on his apple juice. Grandpa?! “Uh oh! Sorry Daniel, for you!” she reached over and tried to push the piece of bread into his mouth. Daniel intercepted it amusedly, and she looked pleased, settling back in her chair to eat the other half. Huh, so she calls Grandpa 'Grandpa', even though he's her father? I guess it would avoid the need for awkward explanations to others... “We'll be going out after breakfast,” Daniel told Chloe. “I need to buy groceries, and we should buy you more clothes, and other things as well.” “Okay,” she responded, munching on her sandwich. Before he had left his grandfather's house, his mother had helped him search for and pack all of Chloe's belongings into a small suitcase. “I can't believe this is all that she has,” Daniel's mother frowned as she looked at the half-empty suitcase. The stack of clothes was barely a few inches high. “You need to go shop with her once you get home. She needs a lot more clothes than this, especially if you're only still only doing laundry once a week – and she'll need warmer clothes as the temperature drops. You also need to get her some more toys, or she's going to get bored, and drive you crazy too!” “Yes, I will,” he promised. “Call me if you need any advice or help! Even if you're only looking after her for a short time, raising a child is still a lot of work.” “Yes, yes...” “I've put some important documents for her next to your bag. Keep them safely and read them as soon as you can.” “Okay, thanks.” Daniel sighed and stared at the contents of the suitcase. It looked like all of Chloe's possessions amounted to the stack of clothes, two pairs of footwear, a few well-used activity books, some toiletries, a small backpack, and an almost-empty pack of pull-ups. He noted the distinct absence of any actual underwear in the bag. “I'm sure we'll find more of her things around the house as we clear it up. We'll let you know if we do.” Daniel's mother shook her head as she stared at the suitcase. “Whoever the girl's mother is, she's clearly out of the picture. No mother would have left her child with just this stuff! I'll send you a list of things you're going to need to buy.” “Okay, mum, whatever you want.” Daniel replied. Privately, he intended to disregard it. After all, how much did a single kid need? As it turns out, little girls did need a lot of things. Daniel read his mother's messaged list, and realised it contained a lot more items than he had thought. Thankfully, most of them were likely to be available at a strip mall not too far from his place. First, and perhaps most importantly, clothing. As Daniel worked in the regional headquarters for a large clothing chain with many stores, he had a generous employee discount which he fully intended to make use of. Hence, for the first time in his life, he entered the children's department of a branch of his store. The atmosphere in the children's department was... confounding. Shelves were covered in bright and pastel colours, with cute designs and pictures of various cartoon characters splashed boldly around. Parents, usually mothers, with children in tow flitted from shelf to shelf, with varying degrees of interest and resignation on the part of the child. Even the store scent seemed more child-like somehow, reminiscent of baby powder and lavender. The juvenile atmosphere assaulted Daniel's senses as he walked into the store, holding Chloe's hand and feeling very out of place. Chloe appeared to be attracted by the many colours and designs available. It didn't take long before she pointed at a rack and tugged at Daniel's hand, saying “That one!” Daniel walked over and picked up the light blue long-sleeved tee, sporting some similarly-coloured cartoon horse on the front. It looked unfamiliar and slightly threatening to him, but Chloe was clearly attracted by it. “The price looks alright. What's your shirt size?” he asked “I dunno,” she shrugged. “How tall are you, then?” “I dunno...” “Well, how do I check if this fits...?” Looking around for inspiration, Daniel happened to notice a mother in another aisle bending down and stretching out the shoulders of a shirt against the back of her own child. Enlightened, he had Chloe place her small backpack into the shopping basket, then carried out the same exercise. Looks like a good fit, but I think I should get a size larger in case she starts growing again. He pulled out a shirt with the desired size and put it into the basket. “Alright, one down... what else do you need?” he asked, not actually expecting an answer. “Pyjamas, pants, shirts, socks, jacket,” Chloe offhandedly replied, while craning her neck to look at the many selections surrounding her. Daniel was pleasantly surprised at her sensible answer. “Sounds good! Let me know if you see anything you like, I don't do laundry very often so you can get more.” “Okay!” she agreed happily, and tugged Daniel's hand towards the next location. On their way to the cashier, Daniel paused as they walked by a row displaying children's underwear. “Chloe, let's get you some panties as well. You can wear them after you learn to use the potty better, okay?” “Okay.” Chloe seemed pleased with the idea. “Go and see which ones you like.” Thankfully, children's underwear was sized by age, so all he needed was to pick the right boxes with the designs Chloe pointed out. “That reminds me – its been quite a while since we left the house, do you need to go to the potty?” Daniel asked. Her face fell as she shook her head. “I peed in my pull-ups already,” she quietly explained. “Oh dear, when did that happen?” “When we were choosing clothes,” she replied embarrassedly. “Was it an accident?” Daniel was slightly concerned. Although she had claimed to be able to use the toilet, the only time she had actually used it was when she was at Grandpa's house – and even then, it was clearly hit-and-miss by the number of pull-ups he had seen in the bins. “No,” she admitted. She tugged at his hand, prompting him to bend down, and whispered into his ear “I don't like using the potty outside. It's dirty and scary.” “Oh.” Daniel was surprised at her candour, and sighed. “Not all toilets outside are dirty, and you need to tell me when you need to go potty. So how wet are you? Do you need to change?” He turned her around by her shoulders, looking at her pants, noting that while they appeared slightly puffier than normal, there were no wet spots on the front or back. “I dunno,” she shrugged. “Well... we'll go and pay for these items, then we'll go to the toilet to get you changed, okay?” “Okay...” she replied quietly, looking slightly downcast. Daniel took Chloe's hand and walked towards the cashier. Now that he knew she was wet, he noticed that Chloe's gait was slightly different, a little wider than normal. I guess I've got to be more vigilant on bringing her to the toilet. At least I now know how to tell if she's wet. Almost two hundred dollars poorer, Daniel brought Chloe to look for a toilet. Thankfully, Daniel knew the store manager, who allowed Daniel to leave his purchases in the employee break room so he didn't have to carry it around. Daniel made sure Chloe was carrying her backpack, which contained wipes and spare pull-ups. For once, the mall bathroom didn't have a queue as it was still the middle of a working day. “Chloe, go and change in the women's bathroom. I need to take a leak as well, so we'll meet again outside here. If I'm not around, stay here and wait for me. Okay?” The little girl shook her head. “I don't want to go,” she told him quietly. “Chloe, we're gonna be here for awhile longer, so you have to get changed,” he explained. “I don't want to go myself,” she looked up at him beseechingly. “Can you come with me?” “I can't go into the ladies, though...” he looked around, and spotted an unoccupied handicap-accessible bathroom separate from the two main bathrooms. “How about we use this one then?” He stepped in and looked around in slight dismay. The bathroom wasn't dirty, but it clearly wasn't very well-maintained either, and had suspicious puddles in the corners. Chloe stepped in after him, took one look at the commode, and pressed her back against the opposite wall. “I don't wanna to use that potty,” she said, with a little fear in her voice. “Yeah, I can see why. Never mind, you don't have to use it. Just change your diaper, okay?” “I don't wanna sit there,” she complained. “Sit? Oh, I see.” Daniel recalled that she would sit down when wearing or taking off long pants, which she would need to do to change. Sitting on the floor was clearly out of the question. “Since its like this, shall I help you change?” Daniel asked. Chloe nodded, and immediately unbuttoned her pants, pulled them down, then pulled her shirt up to fully expose the pull-up. Daniel reached out to change her, before a thought occurred to him. “Can you try to pee now, before I change you?” “Okay.” She froze for a few seconds, before announcing “I'm done.” Daniel reached for the sides of the pull-up and tore it away. As the pull-up fell open, he noted that almost half of the pull-up was dry. Good to know – it can probably hold at least another wetting before it needs a change. He also noticed a bit of redness around the edges of Chloe's diaper area. “Chloe, are your... private parts painful?” he asked. “No, it's itchy,” she replied. “I think you have a bit of a rash. Have you been cleaning yourself properly when you change?” “Uh huh,” she said, pulling out a wet wipe and demonstrating. Daniel watched and shook his head. “Chloe, you need to clean more than just that part, you need to clean the whole area which got wet. Here, let me help you.” He grabbed Chloe's hand, which was still holding the wet wipe, and guided her to wipe a higher and wider portion than she had done before. “You also need to wipe between your legs, and your bum if your diaper is full, okay? Here, take another wipe and clean again, properly.” “It's not a diaper, it's a pull-up,” she insisted as she wiped herself more thoroughly. “Fine, pull-up. Much better, now let's get your new pull-up on.” Daniel discarded the wet pull-up into the bin, took the new pull-up, and opened the Velcro on the seams. He put the back half through her legs and pulled it up the back, while aligning the front of the pull-up so it was level. “Hold the front please?” Chloe did so, and he used his free hand to fasten the Velcro pieces on each side of the pull-up. “Done. Does it feel good?” Chloe shifted around and tugged at the pull-up a little. “It's good,” she stated as she pulled her pants up. “Now, I need you to do me a favour – I need to use the bathroom too, so can you to go to that corner, face the wall, close your eyes, and not turn around until I say you can?” “Okay,” she did so, so Daniel was able to relieve himself with some privacy. “Thanks,” he said once done. She turned around, came to the sink, and both of them washed their hands. “Thanks, Daniel,” Chloe surprised him with a spontaneous hug around one leg. He smiled, reached down, and patted her hair affectionately. “You're welcome. Let's go get lunch.”

Not a bad start, interested in where this is going. You may want to re-read the post for continuity and typo / vocabulary errors. For example, T is wearing a yellow sundress in the car but brown overalls in the house.

Chapter 3 “...Amen.” The minister concluded. “Amen.” everyone else murmured. “I now invite all relatives and friends present to pay your last respects to Arthur Joseph Young. If you wish, you may take a flower from the table and place it on the coffin.” The minister stepped away from the graveside as, by some unwritten custom, friends and more distant relatives stepped forward to pay their final respects, with the immediate family staying seated as the last to say farewell. Daniel sat in the second row from the front, with the little girl sitting quietly next to him. Ellie, Harriet's daughter, sat next to her. Daniel had hoped that the little girl would respond to another child, but the little girl failed to respond to Ellie in any way. Ellie, after attempting to engage the little girl multiple times, grew bored and turned to her mother instead. As the relatives waited patiently in the chairs, Ellie fidgeted until she became bored again. Without anything better to do, she attempted to engage the little girl again, by turning to her and holding out a colourful bracelet in front of the little girl's face. “See my friendship bracelet? It spells my name on it! I made it myself with my friends in school! See, it spells E-L-L-I-E - spells Ellie!” She beamed proudly. “My favourite colour is pink and so I made the words pink, but my friends favourite colours are blue and yellow and so I put the colours there too!” As happened previously, the little girl ignored Ellie's monologue entirely. She sat unresponsively in her chair, staring down at the ground, kicking her legs back and forth. Ellie, clearly frustrated, turned to her mother and began complaining loudly. “Mummy, that girl doesn't want to talk to me! Is it that she cannot talk? She's the same age as me right? How come she cannot talk? I want to play with her but she doesn't say anything!” Harriet, clearly embarrassed, shushed her, but at the same time glanced up at Daniel with the same questions in her eyes. “She can talk, she's just shy,” Daniel told both Ellie and Harriet. Furthermore, he thought, she's learned how to control her volume – unlike someone else! “Then how come she doesn't talk to me?!” Ellie yelled. “Ellie! Be quiet! Use your inside voice!” Harriet chided her. “But we're outside, not inside! Why must I use my inside voice?” Ellie replied indignantly, at the same volume. “I mean... er... by the way, do you need to go potty?” Caught flat-footed, Harriet decided to change the subject. Ellie nodded and slid off the plastic chair and Harriet stood up. “I'll be right back” Harriet excused herself. “Hold on” Daniel interjected, and Harriet paused. “Chloe, do you need to go use the potty?” he asked quietly. The little girl, without looking up, shook her head no. “Can you go and try with Ellie and Harriet?” Daniel asked again. She again shook her head no. “Mummy, I need to go potty bad!” Ellie announced, tugging on her mother's hand and squirming a little. “It's alright, go ahead,” Daniel told Harriet. As Harriet left, he lowered his voice and whispered to Chloe “Chloe, did you wet your pull-up?” Chloe's legs froze, and she slowly nodded her head. “It's okay, we'll get you a new pull-up soon,” he reassured her, reaching over and gently patting her back. Slowly, her legs began swinging again as she seemed to relax a little. “Relatives and friends, please make your way back to the sanctuary, where there are some light refreshments. The family will join you shortly.” after some time, the minister herded everyone else away, leaving the family alone for them to bid their final farewells. Daniel's mother and her siblings stood up, each taking a flower from the small pile of white lilies and chrysanthemums left on the table. They gathered together, staring into the grave, and tears sprang into all of their eyes as they regarded their father silently. After awhile, Daniel's uncle tossed his flower into the grave, and his sisters followed. It was now the grand-children's turn. Daniel stood up, but paused and turned to the little girl, who had not moved. “You should go and say goodbye to Grandpa too,” he advised her. The little girl's kicking legs stilled again, before she shook her head no. “Don't be like that. Come on, I'll go together with you.” Daniel offered his hand to the little girl. The little girl slowly reached out a small hand and grabbed Daniel's hand, before sliding off her chair. Hand-in-hand, they walked towards the grave. Daniel's grandfather lay in an open casket in the grave, dressed in a dark suit, his body strewn with white and yellow flowers. Daniel and the little girl stood by the graveside, looking at the body. “Come on, lets get a flower to give Grandpa,” Daniel said after awhile. He led the little girl to the flower table. Picking up a lily and a chrysanthemum, he asked the little girl “Do you want a white one or a yellow one?” The little girl shook her head. “Don't you want to give Grandpa a flower? Grandpa loved flowers, you know,” Daniel encouraged her. She shook her head, more vigorously this time. She raised her head and looked around. Suddenly, she took off, running away from the grave. “Chloe!” Daniel called after her, startled, and began to run after her. The little girl ignored him and ran to one of the flowerbeds lining the church. Squatting down, she began pulling at the flowers. “Chloe! Stop! Those are -” Daniel caught up with her and reached his hand out to stop her, but paused when he noticed what she was doing. Grandpa's favourite flower. Blue irises. The name came back to him, and he remembered that she had been holding one of those flowers when he had first seen her. She's really Grandpa's daughter. “I see – you want to give Grandpa his favourite flowers, right?” he squatted down next to her as she continued pulling at a flower. He reached out a hand towards the flower and helped her break it off close to the ground, before picking a flower for himself as well. Holding her flower in both hands, the little girl stood up and walked with Daniel back to the grave. Harriet, Ellie, and Daniel's sister Rebecca were standing by the graveside when he returned. Harriet and Rebecca were wiping tears from their eyes, while Ellie stared curiously into the grave. “Mummy! Why is Great-Gramps not moving? Is he sleeping? Why is he sleeping in the hole?” Ellie shouted her questions loudly, oblivious to the solemn mood around her. Stepping up to the graveside, Daniel regarded his grandfather's face again, before throwing the iris in. The little girl threw her flower into grave immediately after, then stood quietly staring into the casket for a long moment. Daniel stood by her, in a bubble of respectful silence. “Is he not going to wake up any more?” softly but clearly, the little girl asked, still staring at the old man's face. Daniel half-knelt next to her and put a hand on her small back. “No,” he replied quietly. “He's not.” Tears immediately gushed out from the little girl's eyes and ran down her cheeks, as her face twisted in terrible, heart-rending anguish. Her breaths turned to gasps as she turned blindly towards Daniel, and gripped his shoulder with one tiny hand. She raised the other hand and rubbed it against her eyes, attempting to hide her tears as she fought against her sobs. Daniel reached out with his other hand and gently pulled her closer to him, wordlessly offering what comfort he could give. That gentle pressure was enough to crack the dam of her self control, and she flung both hands around Daniel's neck as she buried her face into his shoulder, weeping piteously as her shoulders shook in grief. Daniel stood, carrying the heartbroken little girl, and walked away from the coffin. His jacket was slowly dampened with bitter tears. Late in the afternoon, the family gathered back at the old man's house for a serious discussion. The adults sat in the living room in a rough circle. Ellie sat in a corner, distracted by some show she was watching on her mother's phone, and Chloe sat quietly by herself in the garden. Her back was to the living room, as she stared at the patch of irises waving in the gentle breeze. Perhaps she knew when she was not wanted. “Seriously, dad should have told us about this earlier!” Daniel's aunt Ruth complained. “Personally, I'm amazed that none of us noticed any sign of her being around when we visited,” Daniel's uncle Jacob declared. “I visited him at least once every two weeks, and never saw any sign of the girl!” Margaret, Daniel's mother, chimed in. “How did dad keep her hidden for so long?” “More importantly, who and where is her mother?” Maggie, Daniel's other aunt, scoffed. “I cannot believe that dad raised that little girl all the way from infancy on his own! He barely did anything when we were children – the only thing he was good for was calling for Mum to handle everything! We should just give the girl back to her mother, and be done with it!” Jacob quickly stepped in to interrupt the forthcoming tirade. “Alright, Maggie, I understand what you're saying, but the fact is that we have no clue who her mother is at this time. For now, we have to decide – what do we do with her? “Well, don't look at me,” Maggie sniffed. “I hate children, and since my dear ex-husband ran off with that... that prostitute, there's no way I'm going to be able to look after that … that retard!” “Mags! Watch your language!” Ruth gestured at Ellie, sitting in a corner. Unfortunately, Maggie misunderstood Ruth's intentions. “No? You don't think there's anything wrong with her?” Maggie dramatically gestured at the garden, where the little girl sat quietly. “Look at her! She hasn't said a word to anyone the whole time, doesn't respond to basic courtesies, doesn't look at anyone!” her voice steadily grew louder and more shrill. “She just sits around staring at the sky or god-knows-what! Also, unless I am very mistaken, she's the source of all the wet diapers in every toilet in the house! How old is she, five? How does a five year old still wet herself?!” “Maggie!” Margaret shouted loudly over her ranting younger sister. “That's entirely uncalled for!” “Tell me which part of anything I've said is untrue! Can you?” Maggie shouted back. Daniel could not believe his senses as his mother and aunt kicked off a shouting match, which Ruth and Jacob tried to stop at first but got sucked in before long. His eyes flicked to the little girl, who must have heard the commotion and who he knew understood far, far more than she let on. He thought he saw her hunch up defensively, shielding herself from the ruckus in the house. “SHUT! UP!” Phillip had a booming voice capable of shattering stone, which he employed now. As everyone stared at him in shock, he sat back, and in a normal volume, stated “I understand all of you are angry that your father somehow gave you all a sister” – all four siblings flinched at the word – “a half-sister who could be your grandchild, and even hid her existence from everyone until he died. Fine and dandy, and that sucks, but that's not what we should be discussing now! Focus!” “Yes, you're right of cause, dear”, Ruth was the first to speak up after Phillip's scolding. “Maggie, I think you've made your views abundantly clear, and no one's going to ask you to do something you don't want to do. Phillip and I, we have our hands full helping with Ellie as it is. We don't have the time or the energy to give that girl the attention she needs.” Phillip nodded brusquely in agreement. “I can't as well,” Jacob said. “As you know, Susan's mother's health hasn't been good lately, and I have to run the business. Neither of us have the time to look after her as well, especially not with the twins both in college – its expensive to put two through at the same time, you know!” Excuses, all excuses, Daniel couldn't help but think, somewhat uncharitably. All eyes turned to Margaret. “I can't possibly do it either, my place isn't suitable for child-raising! Besides, I'm getting old, I don't have time to be looking after a baby or a child either!” “Come on, Mum,” Daniel spoke up. “It's not as if you do anything else for most of the day either. Can't you look after her for awhile at least?” “Daniel! This is none of your business!” Daniel's mother whirled on him. “I'm more busy than you know! You don't know anything! And you have no idea how difficult it is to raise a child! You have no idea how much I had to sacrifice, no idea at all!” “Unless you're going to volunteer, you should just keep quiet, brother,” Rebecca chided him as his mother continued to rant. “I'm not able to do so either,” she continued, addressing the family at large. “I just started working and haven't even found a decent boyfriend yet – besides, can you imagine me as a mother?” Rebecca's love for partying was well-known in the family. “Obviously I can't as well,” Harriet added. “my hands are full enough with this one – how am I going to handle two! Especially since she's... well...” her voice trailed off. “Yes, it's not fair to the child if someone was to care for her unwillingly,” someone commented. “It would be one thing if she was normal, but she's... special, its not going to be easy to handle her.” “Honestly, I can't imagine her as being related to us at all!” “Are we even sure she's dad's child? He had to have been in his late seventies when she was born, is that physically possible?” “Good point, we should do a DNA test to confirm!” Daniel listened to the discussion with disbelief. Wasn't this meeting to decide who would look after Chloe? What kind of discussion is this? “Where's her mother anyway? Maybe we should ask the police to help find her? She can't just abandon her child, right?” Looking around, Daniel realised something. They're all angry. They're angry at Grandpa for keeping this huge secret and dumping it on them. They can't take it out on Grandpa, so they're taking it out on Chloe. They just don't want to be saddled with her. No one actually cares for her. “Daniel,” Rebecca asked. “is she really still not potty-trained and in diapers?” Daniel didn't respond, losing himself in thought. He recalled the sound of light feet on wooden floorboards, thudding quietly behind him as he walked. “Mummy, why does Chloe wear diapers? Is she still a baby?” He thought of a little form curled up on the couch, covered by his jacket. “Doesn't the government usually step in in cases like these? Lord knows, this cant be the first time something like this has happened. That's what the foster system exists for, right?” He saw in his mind's eye fear-widened eyes staring at him from a bed, pleading with him to stay. “Maybe we should put her up for adoption. You see people adopting those disabled Chinese kids all the time, surely someone can take her in?” He remembered a terrible face, covered in tears, fighting to bottle gut-wrenching sobs even as she blindly reached out for comfort. Fuck them all. Enough. “You know what?” Daniel stood up abruptly, cutting through the chatter. All eyes fell on him. “That girl – Chloe – is capable of far more than you think.” He walked to the door between the living room and the garden, and turned around to face his shocked relatives. “And even if she isn't – she's definitely going to grow up to be a far better person than any of you.” He turned around and stepped out into the garden, ignoring the stunned silence from his relatives. He walked over to the little girl who was staring at the flowers, her back still hunched defensively, and stepped to her side. He noticed her twisting the stem of an iris flower in her fingers as she sat. “Hey, Chloe,” he asked, slowly but clearly. “Would you like to live with me?” “Daniel! What are you doing!” “Bro! Are you insane?!” he heard his mother's and sister's exclamations behind him. He ignored them as the little girl slowly looked up at him, meeting his eyes. For the second time, an eternity passed in a moment as the little girl stared at the man, and the man stared at the little girl, and each seemed to read the heart of the other. Then Chloe stood up... ...swung around, dropping the flower... ...and sprinted to him. The little girl flung herself into a tight hug around his legs, and held on like she would never let go. Daniel woke up at home the next day, as he felt someone shaking him gently but insistently. He blinked his eyes blearily in the morning sunlight, and as the cloudiness of early-morning vision dissipated, saw a little girl, long oak-brown hair mussed and messy, sitting by his side and staring at his face with large dark brown eyes, dressed in a white nightgown. “Eeyargh!” he shouted, recoiling in surprise. Surprisingly, the little figure was unperturbed. “Uncle, uncle,” she said softly but clearly. “I need a pull-up.” Daniel blinked again, and his memory returned in a flash. “Good morning, Chloe... ah, hold on...” He clambered out of bed and went to a small suitcase on the floor nearby, opening it and taking a pull-up out from the almost-empty pack inside, along with a pack of wipes. He turned back and handed them to Chloe. “Uncle, where's the toilet?” she asked. “Ah, right, I'll show you – but first, don't call me Uncle!” I should be calling you aunt! “Just call me Daniel.” Chloe blinked and looked into his eyes. “Okay... Daniel.”

I think the first thing to unpack is what does “denying yourself” mean. To me, denying yourself means subordinating your desires to God’s desires. However, this does not mean God’s desires takes over all your life and time. God’s desires can be to let you exercise your desires. Remember God is, among many other things, also your Father - and he delights in your delight (provided its good for you of course). However, if you feel that abdl is not right for you, dishonours God, and is “unclean”, then for you it is sin (Rom 14:14) and you should not do it. I would suggest though that you look into why you think it is unclean. Keep in mind that society and the environment mould the conscience and that the conscience is not a reliable standard. Im not saying you disregard the conscience, just that just because you think it is wrong doesnt mean God thinks it is wrong. Find out what God thinks through reading the Word and prayer, and let that guide your conscience on the right path.

Thanks @Jayme and @Drownedinp - hope you enjoy the next instalment too! ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Chapter 2 It turned out that the little girl's name was Chloe – surnamed Young, like Daniel's grandfather. She was probably five years old. No one in the family had known of her existence before Daniel's grandfather passed away. The neighbours had known knew she was around, and had helped look after her before the family arrived, but they did not have any information either. Most curiously, no one knew who, or where, her mother was. The neighbours didn't recall anyone living there apart from Grandpa, or any regular guests. The little girl's existence was a mystery. According to Daniel's mother, the little girl spent most of her time in an unobtrusive corner, staring out at the garden, or playing silently with a few toys in Daniel's grandpa's room. However, shortly after Daniel's arrival, she started a new activity – following Daniel around. Daniel had just filled a basket with musty sheets to be washed so the guest rooms would be usable. When he turned around, she was standing a few feet behind him, hugging a stuffed rabbit close to her chest. He met her eyes for an instant before she quickly looked down at his feet. “Hello, Chloe.” Daniel greeted her. She didn't respond. “Hi, I'm Daniel, your relative.” it seemed wrong to describe her as his aunt, or him as her nephew. “What are you doing here?” The little girl still did not react, continuing to stare mutely at the ground. “Are you okay? Can you talk?” Daniel didn't know how to interact with a child who didn't respond to anything he said – and for that matter, he was unsure if she understood anything he said. “Well.. um... sorry, I have to bring these sheets to be washed, so see you later,” he picked up the basket of sheets and let the room, walking around the little girl. As he walked out and down the stairs, he heard the soft patter of little feet behind him. The little girl continued to follow Daniel as he moved around the house, cleaning. She would disappear for brief moments, when she went to the bathroom or got a drink, but would reappear before long. Nevertheless, she failed to respond to any of Daniel's sporadic attempts to engage her and whenever Daniel looked at her, she was staring at the floor and not meeting his eyes. The first and only time that day Daniel got a reaction from the little girl was after he happened to use the bathroom. As Daniel was washing his hands, he glanced at the dustbin, and was surprised to see a colourful piece of cloth in there. Is that... a diaper? He wondered, bending over to examine it closer. It was indeed a diaper, in a pull-up style, and furthermore, appeared to be wet. Don't tell me... Daniel opened the door and saw the little girl waiting outside, quietly. “Chloe...” the little girl didn't react as always. Daniel paused, unsure of how to broach the subject, before deciding to tackle it head on. “Chloe, there's a diaper, a pull-up, in the dustbin there. Is that yours?” For the first time since he entered the house, the little girl's eyes flashed up to meet his, before looking down again. She slowly nodded yes. Huh, so she can understand me after all. “Well... are you wearing a diaper now?” she shook her head. “I mean – a pull-up?” this time, she nodded. “Why are you wearing a diap – pull-up?” Daniel asked in surprise, realising the stupidity of the question only after he asked it. In any case, the little girl just stared at the floor, unresponsive. “Never mind the last question. Ok, since It's a pull-up, do you know how to use the potty?” the little girl nodded slowly. “I see, but you have accidents sometime?” she nodded again. “Well, if you need help to use the potty, you can let me know, ok? I can ask my mother or aunt Rose to help you.” She didn't respond to that, continuing to stare at the floor. Daniel stood up and sighed. He glanced at his watch, which showed around half an hour past four. Time for a quick shower and to wear something a bit more formal. “Chloe... I'm going to take a bath now, so can you go and look for aunt Rose? It'll take some time before I go down.” she gave no indication she heard him. “You can't follow me into the bathroom, so you should go find Aunt Rose, alright?” He stepped back into the bathroom and closed the door. A few moments later, he heard small feet thud on the staircase, heading down. The guests - more distant relatives, family friends, and neighbours – started arriving shortly after the coffin was placed in the garden, under a large white tent. Dressed in a black suit and tie, Daniel helped to welcome the guests, shadowed by the silent little girl. Daniel didn't understand why the little girl followed him around, despite only meeting earlier that day. He only realised the reason why after he bumped into a guest as he turned the corner to the entrance hallway. The guest, an old lady, stared up at him in shock. “Arthur? Arthur?!” she gasped. “Sorry... what?” Daniel was puzzled as the old lady backed away from him, eyes wide, with a hand on her heart and another covering her mouth. Just then, Rose rushed in, and gently took the old lady's shoulders. “No dearie, this isn't Arthur, this is his grandson, Daniel,” she explained. “But – he looks just like Arthur! A young Arthur!” the old lady protested disbelievingly. “You're right, we've always said that, but this is Daniel, not Arthur... Daniel, why don't you see if your mother needs help?” Rose shooed Daniel away as she tried to settle the old lady's distraught nerves. Daniel bemusedly took the excuse and turned around, and saw the little girl standing behind him. A sudden realisation struck him. So that's why she's following me around! Daniel's was suddenly filled with compassion for Chloe, who was alone, and to whom the only familiar face in the crowd was that of a stranger. Over the course of the evening, as various relatives arrived, it became clear to Daniel that no one really knew what to do with the little girl. Most of the relatives intentionally ignored her presence, refusing to look at her direction or to acknowledge her at all. They greeted Daniel with smiles and engaged him in the usual conversational questions, but ignored the tiny shadow following in his wake. She has just lost a parent, but no one seems to care, Daniel thought at sometime during the night, as he sat at a table listening half-heartedly to his mother talk with some old family friend. The little girl sat quietly on the floor beside him, playing with her stuffed rabbit. Has anyone even properly explained death to her? Did I understand what death was when I was her age? I can't remember... The little girl, on her part, remained silent as she clutched a stuffed rabbit toy, keeping her eyes down as she followed Daniel around the forest of giant legs. From time to time, she would quietly walk off to use the bathroom or get a drink, but would always return to Daniel. On the rare occasion when someone noticed her and tried to engage her, she refused to respond, continuing whatever she was doing without looking at that person, and the adult would inevitably leave awkwardly thereafter. The only person she reacted to in any way was Daniel. But throughout the course of the whole night, she never made a single sound. Later on, Daniel caught his mother for a quick conversation. “Mom – is there something wrong with Chloe? She hasn't said a single word the entire day.” he asked “I don't know. We don't have much information on her at all,” his mother replied matter-of-factly. “She may be a little slow, or maybe just shy. Thanks for keeping an eye on her and keeping her out of the way.” “Well, she kind of just follows me around, like a little ducky. Anyway, do you think she could be autistic? She won't meet my eyes, doesnt respond to anything – and did you know that she's wearing diapers?” Daniel's mum was surprised “Diapers? I thought she was five? How did you find out?” “I saw a wet diaper in the trash – it's a pull-up, so she must be able to change herself. She nodded when I asked if she was wearing one.” “Well now...” his mother looked thoughtful for a moment. “I don't know, maybe she is autistic. There's no way to find out now though. We should let whoever looks after her after this know. For now, just make sure she's no trouble, ok?” Despite his misgivings, the little girl was largely able to look after herself the whole night. She ate the bread, stew, and potatoes – a family recipe which Daniel's mother had cooked – without complaint, keeping herself reasonably clean. Apart from that, she was content with shadowing Daniel quietly. However, despite her small size, her presence was an elephant in the room. No one talked about her, few even talked to her, and no one who knew of her circumstances showed any of the affection that would usually be shown to little children, The fact was, that no one knew what to do with the quiet little girl. After all the guests had left, the only persons who remained were Daniel, his mother, his uncle Phillip and aunt Rose – and the little girl. Between them, they would hold the wake. The original purpose of a wake wasn't clear. Daniel had heard from some that the family would set a guard so that no one would steal the body or grave goods, and from some others that it was supposed to be a vigil for the soul of the departed. Some people online also speculated that in the past, pronouncements of death were not always reliable, and the deceased would occasionally “wake” up. Whatever it was, the wake had long lost its original purpose. Still, it was tradition, and it just felt right to ensure someone was awake through the night. Daniel and Phillip took the first watch. Daniel sat on the couch in the living room, watching Netflix on his phone and enjoying a cold beer. He had changed into a t-shirt and shorts, though he carried a jacket in case it got cold. Phillip sat in another old, squashy armchair and stared at whatever was playing on the television, also with a beer next to him. The ladies had headed to bed early in anticipation of having to wake up to take over the second shift of the wake. The little girl sat quietly beside Daniel, cuddling her toy bunny and staring at the television, dressed in baby blue pyjamas and smelling fresh after a bath. Before long, Daniel was disturbed by a soft bump against his side. Glancing over, he saw that the little girl had fallen asleep, and was now leaning her head against him. Poor thing, she must be exhausted. I'd best get her to bed “Hey Chloe...” Daniel gently shook her shoulder, and she stirred and sat up, opening sleepy eyes and looking directly at him for an instant before looking down again. “You don't have to stay up. It's late and you're tired, you should go to bed. Does that sound good” Surprisingly, she shook her head no. “No? Aren't you tired?” She shook her head again. Daniel chuckled “Chloe, you're very tired, and little girls should have gone to sleep a long time ago. I tell you what – do you want to sleep with my mother, aunt Margaret?” Again, no. “How about with Aunt Rose?” No. “How about...” “Stay here,” a tiny voice interrupted Daniel. Daniel blinked in surprise. “You can talk? I mean – did you say you want to stay here?” the little girl finally nodded. “Are you sure you want to stay here? There's no bed and i'm sure its not as comfortable as upstairs...” Daniel was surprised. The little girl nodded her head vigorously. “Just let her,” Phillip grumbled “She's young, sleeping on the couch won't hurt. You can bring her upstairs when you go up.” “I guess so” Daniel acquiesced. “Chloe, do you want to get a pillow or a blanket?” But the little girl was clearly not inclined to move any further. Instead, she curled up on the couch, her head next to him, and closed her eyes, falling instantly back into slumber. That was fast! It isn't that cold tonight, but I should make sure she's warm. Daniel took off his jacket and covered the little girl's small body. He watched her sleep awhile, before turning back to his phone and resuming his show. A few hours passed in that way, before a gentle rumble penetrated Daniel's airpods. Looking up, he realised that Phillip had dozed off in his chair. The snoring slowly grew louder, and the little girl stirred. “Uncle Phillip,” Daniel paused the show, walked over and tapped the sleeping man on his shoulder, who awoke with a start. “You've got to pick a few more people tomorrow morning, so why don't you head up first? I'll stay here until Aunt Rose or my mother come down.” “Hmm? Ah... well... that makes sense, so if you're sure...” Phillip stood and stretched, yawning hugely. “Yeah, go ahead.” Daniel muffled a sympathetic yawn. “I can sleep in tomorrow – oops, today.” “Alright, good night.” Phillip tramped up the stairs, and the sounds of doors opening and water running came from upstairs for sometime before the house fell silent again. Daniel got another beer from the fridge and turned back to his phone. A few episodes later, Daniel caught some movement out of the corner of his eye as the little girl stirred. He noticed that her leg and part of her body was sticking out from under the jacket, and so he picked the jacket up to place it properly. However, as he lifted the jacket up, he noticed that the little girl's pyjama pants had turned a dark shade. Oh dear – Daniel touched the cloth and confirmed that it was indeed wet. Her diaper must have leaked. “Chloe –” he gently shook her shoulder. the little girl stirred, but didn't open her eyes. “Chloe, wake up – your diaper leaked, you need a change.” The little girl opened her eyes more fully and sat up, her hands flying to touch her wet pants and confirm the wetness for herself. Her gaze swung to Daniel's face, and their eyes met for a second before she looked away again. Despite not seeing her face, Daniel somehow knew she felt sad. “It's alright, these things happen” Daniel awkwardly reassured her. “Why don't you go change into a new diaper – I mean pull-up – and pants?” The little girl nodded and started heading out of the living room. However, after a few steps, she paused, turned back, walked back to Daniel. One small hand reached out and hesitantly grabbed the hem of Daniel's t-shirt. “Do you want me to come with you?” Daniel asked. Still looking down, the little girl nodded. “Alright.” The little girl let go of Daniel's shirt and walked out of the room and up the stairs, Daniel following behind. He followed her into his Grandfather's room, and watched as she pulled some wipes, a new pull-up, and pants from a set of drawers. She then ran into the attached bathroom and closed the door, coming out after a minute in the new pants, presumably wearing the new pull-up underneath. She held the wet pants out to Daniel, who took them gingerly. I'd better wash these, or they're going to stink by morning. Daniel brought the pants back into the bathroom, the little girl following in his footsteps, and rinsed them in the sink before hanging them on the edge of the bathtub to dry. He then noted a clearly soaked purple pull-up in the bin, and tied off the bin liner to prevent the smell from spreading. Finally, turning back, he caught the little girl in the middle of a huge yawn, which set off a yawn as well. “Ok Chloe, time for you to go to bed,” Daniel declared. However, the little girl shook her head. One small hand reached out again and grasped his t-shirt, but this time so tightly that the knuckles turned while. Daniel looked at the hand in surprise, then understanding. Think, dumbass, he scolded himself. She's a little girl whose home is suddenly full of strange adults, most of whom don't want to admit she exists. She's scared and lonely and you're the only person she has any familiarity with. You can't leave her alone. “Do you want me to stay with you until you sleep?” Daniel asked her. The little girl slowly looked up at his face, and nodded. “Alright then – why don't you get into bed while I use the bathroom.” She nodded again and crawled into the room's queen-sized bed. She sat in bed, staring at the door to the toilet until Daniel emerged and walked over to sit down on the edge of the bed, next to her. “Why don't you lie down and close your eyes?” he suggested, and the little girl did so. Daniel awkwardly stretched the blanket over her, and watched as her breathing slowly grew deeper and drifted into sleep. After a few minutes, the little girl appeared to be sound asleep. Daniel stood up and walked to the room door, opening it as quietly as he could. “No!” a soft, pleading call arrested his steps, and Daniel turned around, surprised to see the little girl sitting up in bed, staring at him. “Stay here!” she whined. “Sorry, I have to go back...” Daniel began. Just then, he heard a door open behind him. “I heard the noise. Why don't you go ahead and stay with her, Daniel, it's about time I took over.” Daniel's mother yawned, but smiled at him. “I can't sleep with all the people moving around, anyway.” “Are you sure?” Daniel checked his phone and noticed that it was almost four in the morning – the pre-agreed handover time. “Alright, thanks – I'll get some rest then.” he paused, and looked back at the little girl, who was still looking at him pleadingly, hugging her stuffed rabbit toy. “Um... I think I have to sleep here tonight.” His mother smiled sympathetically. “That's fine. I'm sure Dad won't mind you using his bed. Based on what I saw today, I don't think that girl would be able to sleep otherwise.” “OK then, thanks and good night.” Stifling another yawn, he closed the door and turned back to the little girl. “Alright, I'll stay with you tonight. Why don't you lie down and go back to sleep?” She nodded and lay down again, curling up around her toy. Daniel walked over and tucked her back in, then paused and considered. There was really no other option available for sleeping that on the bed, next to the little girl. The girl, apparently reassured by his presence, had closed her eyes and was rapidly falling asleep again, and there was more than enough space on the other side of the bed. It should be fine. He carefully lay down and turned off the bedside light, plunging the room into darkness. He lay still for awhile, listening to the slight howl of the wind outside, and the soft, deep breathing of the little human being next to him. He couldn't help but wonder about the future of the little girl. The funeral would take place in a few more hours, and afterwards, the family would decide on her care arrangements, and she would leave to join a brand new family, a brand new household. He wondered if she knew what would happen, and what was going on. How do you explain death to a five year old? Daniel was sure that he wouldn't get any sleep – but before he knew it, he woke up to sunlight streaming into the room, and the sounds of activity downstairs.

A/N: Feedback and comments are appreciated, especially if you see continuity errors. As this is a work in progress, changes may be made to earlier chapters at any time without notice. Chapter 1 Daniel was forced to shade his eyes as he stepped out of the shelter of the train station into the noontime sunlight. Looking around, he spotted a vaguely familiar figure a short walk away, waving at him. “Daniel! Over here!” “Uncle Phillip!” Daniel walked over and shook hands with the middle-aged man, who was standing next to a beat-up old car. “Thanks for picking me up.” “No problem at all,” Phillip opened the trunk for Daniel to stow his small suitcase. “You're one of the earlier ones, we're expecting the rest to come late in the afternoon or in the evening – and Harriet and Ellie will only be coming tomorrow, and will stay overnight for the funeral. Jason's out of the country and so wont be joining them. The folks from the funeral parlour's supposed to come by around four. Your mom's cooking up a storm and your dad -” “Yeah Dad's under the weather, so won't be coming. Thankfully I was able to sort things at work out quickly so I could get here earlier.” Phillip and I got into the car, which pulled out of the parking space in short order “Glad Harriet can make it, considering Ellie's only... four?” “I think so, four or five. Yeah, not easy to have to handle a child that young outside of home. Anyway, it's good to see you again.” Phillip pulled out of the carpark into a break in traffic. “Same back to you. It'll be good to see the rest of the family too. It seems the only time we get together nowadays is at weddings and funerals.” Daniel relaxed into the seat as the vaguely familiar scenery passed by. “Sounds about right” Phillip dryly chuckled. “Speaking of which, my wife and your other aunts will want to know – when are we going to able to attend your wedding?” Daniel snorted. “Jesus. Considering Aunt Maggie's messy divorce, why are they all so eager to see me married off?” “Women love a wedding, and it gives them something more to gossip about” Phillip commented. “Plus, you're the eldest unmarried niece-slash-nephew. You're what, thirty?” “In a few months.” Daniel shook his head. “I'm very happy being single, thank you, and am in no rush to get attached at all – particularly not to the wrong woman. If the 'right woman' never comes along, I'd be happy to spend my dying years in some cheerful home with other grumpy old men.” “Heh. Well, good luck convincing the women of that.” The rest of the ride passed with small talk, and some periods of silence where Daniel stared out of the window and replied to emails as his uncle drove. Before long, they turned into a street full of small retiree cottages, all painted in pastel colours. Phillip turned into the driveway of one of the cottages, but didn't turn off the engine. He cleared his throat. “Daniel?” “Hm?” Daniel looked up from his phone and blinked a few times. “Oh, we're here.” “Yes, but...” Phillip cleared his throat again. “before you go in... well... you should prepare yourself.” “Oh... yes, of course. I suppose my mother and aunt Rose are taking it hard.” “No, that's not what I mean – I mean, it's a sad situation, but Dad – your grandpa – was old and we all knew he had a weak heart. It was really a matter of time. We've been mentally prepared for years.” Phillip paused and swallowed uncomfortably. “No, you should prepare yourself for something... um... unexpected. Talk to your mother about it.” With that, he killed the engine and stepped out of the car. “O...kay?” Daniel was surprised, but as Phillip was clearly unwilling to talk about it. He shrugged, got out of the car, accepted his suitcase from Phillip with a word of thanks. His uncle opened the gate for him, and Daniel walked up the path to the main house . As he walked, out of the corner of his eye, he saw some sudden movement. Turning his head, he saw... … a little girl he had never seen before, standing right next to the fence, staring back at him with large round eyes. The girl was dressed in a simple black short-sleeved dress, white socks, and patent leather shoes. Her caramel brown hair, which reached her shoulders, was unconfined, and some stray hairs floated in the gentle breeze. She held a spray of blue flowers loosely in her hand as she stared at him, open mouthed. She held her stare on him, and he stared back at her, not knowing entirely why he did so. After a moment of eternity, she spun around and raced away to the back of the house. Daniel blinked and shook his head. Turning back to his uncle, he asked “Was that - ” before realising that his uncle was out of earshot, having entered the house and was holding the door open for him, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. Daniel quickly trotted to the door and entered with a word of thanks. Before he could repeat his question, however, his uncle called loudly “Marge! Daniel's here!” “Thanks Phil! Daniel! I'm in the kitchen! Come here and say hi!” Daniel's mother's voice floated back. Daniel quickly took off his shoes and put his suitcase out of the way, before walking towards the kitchen, which he recalled was towards the back of the house. Strangely, he saw no sign of anyone else in the house. “Daniel!” his mother was alone in the kitchen, chopping onions, so he walked over and kissed her proffered cheek. “Glad you could make it! Were you able to clear your schedule?” “Yes, thankfully my boss is a good man, he told me to leave everything with him and just go”. Daniel replied. “Hey, by the way, I saw a little girl on the way in – was that Ellie? Is Harriet here already?” Daniel's mother paused and sighed deeply. “No... that's not Ellie,” she said reluctantly. “She's... well...” she paused and glanced into the air “That girl is... how do I phrase this..." A few seconds passed as she tried to think of the best way to convey it. "Well...she's your grandfather's child.” Daniel blinked. “Say that again?” “She's... your grandpa's secret daughter.” “...Huh?!” For the first time in his life, Daniel's jaw literally dropped as he stared at his mother. Daniel's mother saw his expression and sighed heavily. “Apparently, your grandfather – my father – at eighty-three years old – was having a relationship with someone, and... well, somehow...” she waved her hands helplessly. “I really don't want to think about it, but I guess things happened and...” “But... wait... what?” Daniel's mind was recovering quickly, although still shocked. “So grandpa... in his late seventies... well done grandpa!” He shook his head in amazement, before another thought occurred to him. “So that makes her my aunt... and your sister?” He started to laugh. It was Daniel's mother's jaw's turn to fall, before she closed it and smacked Daniel's shoulder. “Daniel! It's not funny! It's – it's – stop laughing! This is a serious matter!” Daniel's laughter intensified as his mother's face turned bright red. “It's... you... she... arrgh! Get out! Shoo!” Daniel fled the kitchen, laughing at his mother's reaction. Once outside the kitchen, his composure quickly returned. Well. I've got to give it to the old man – I can't believe it! “Daniel, go find Rose upstairs! She'll let you know where you'll be sleeping! Then help her get the rooms sorted out, and get changed into something formal before the body comes at around five!” Daniel's mother called after him. “Alright!” And hopefully aunt Rose can give me more details...

Chapter 2's up. This should be the longest of the 3 chapters. Some additional background of this story - It's basically a "Day in the life" type of tale, about a single dad with 2 kids (twins). The twist i'm trying to impart is opposites - that whenever one twin uses the toilet, the other twin wets his/her diaper. Its an interesting topic to explore. The reason why i title this "Seesaw Twins" is to convey the idea of opposition - one succeeds at the expense of the other. It's kind of a weak title though - i'm open to alternative suggestions! Honestly, for me its mainly a writing exercise to fight boredom. Is this going anywhere? No idea. Will this be expanded into a fuller story? Perhaps. Am I going to abandon it halfway? Possibly. Basically, que sera sera. Like most authors, I appreciate feedback comments responses etc. Cheerio

CHAPTER 2 – AFTERNOON (0955 – 1500) We pulled into the church's car park around 20 minutes later. I quickly unloaded them and their things, and pushed them into their Sunday school class (which was in a separate room from the main service) just before 10 am. “Bye, daddy!” The moment we got to the room, Jacen released my hand and dashed inside, stopping only to high-five a few teachers standing around and for a temperature check. Jaina, on the other had, clung to my leg and didn't want to let go. “Morning, Luke! How're you doing?” The administrative staff greeted me cheerfully as I approached her desk. “Morning, Sharon! Same old, same old” I responded as I handed over the children's registration cards, which she scanned and returned to me. “Is Julian around today?” “Yes, I saw him earlier.” Sharon glanced through the glass window of the room “He must have stepped out for a moment, should be back anytime soon.” “Great, I'll bring Jaina in first then.” “Sure, go ahead!” Sharon smiled at the next person and greeted her as I took Jaina's hand and brought her into the room. Jaina stuck close to my side as we entered the room and she started looking around. “Where's teacher Julian?” she asked me fearfully. “He's coming shortly, go in and wait for him, alright? First, go put your bag on the shelf, next to Jacen's, please” I pointed out Jacen's bag to her. However, she shook her head and burrowed closer to me, and when I looked down, I saw her burying her eyes into the side of my leg. I sighed and crouched down, gently pushing her away so I could look into her tearful face “Come on, Jaina, you come here every week, so why so scared? See, why don't you go and join your friends over there at the games corner?” “I don't want to...” Jaina shook her head as more tears leaked from her eyes. “Come on...” I sighed and brought Jaina to a side of the corridor, out of the way of the main flow of traffic. Jaina snuggled close to me and grabbed my shirt, refusing to look at the people passing by. “Jaina, you're a big and brave girl, right? You are strong,” I tried to encourage and reason with her for a few minutes, to no avail, until a familiar voice broke in. “Hello, Jaina!” a college-aged young man crouched down in front of me and Jaina, smiling cheerfully. “Hi, Luke!” “Julian, thank God you're here,” I said in relief. Jaina, on seeing Julian, finally let go of my shirt and reached out her hands to him. Julian hugged her and picked her up as we stood up together. I had noticed that since young, Jaina did not warm up easily to female caregivers or teachers. However, she did not display the same guardedness with male teachers and would frequently seek them out for security and reassurrance. In the Sunday School class, she was especially attached to Julian and would only go inside easily when Julian brought her in. She would then stay close to Julian until she grew comfortable enough to interact with the other children in the class. If she was having a bad day, she would stay close to Julian and refuse to interact with anyone else until the whole program was over. I had a feeling that this would be a bad day for her. “So sorry, I was supervising a boy's toilet train and just got back. How's she and her brother doing?” he asked. “Same as usual, nothing's changed. I haven't heard anything unusual during the week – though she had a meltdown today morning, so she may be a little quieter or crankier than usual” “Alright, she'll be fine,” he responded confidently. “They're still easily distracted at this age – she'll forget about it soon enough!” “I sure hope so!” I agreed. “Alright, I should go. She's in diapers today, so don't worry about her making it to the bathroom. She's not been doing well with the toilet training and we're taking a break before trying again.” “Sure, I'll call you if I need you!” he gave me a thumbs-up and turned to bring Jaina into the room. I looked in through the window and saw Jacen running around with another two kids, apparently engaged in some kind of imaginary game. He saw me and paused long enough to wave at me before returning to his game. Smiling, I headed to the foyer to get some coffee. “One original glazed, please!” I paid for and took the doughnut and coffee from the coffee lady, and joined my friends at a bench nearby. “...so then I got it – she was trying to say that she still wanted us to join her for the move, but she didn't want to come out and say it, and wanted me to volunteer without her asking! Like, why didn't she just come out and say it? What am I supposed to do, read her mind?” I sat down as one of my friends, Ernest, was relating the details of a fight he had had with his wife that morning.“So after that, she locked herself into the bedroom for about an hour. I couldn't even get my clothes until I told her that if she didn't unlock the door, I would get the keys and unlock it myself. And then she locked herself in the bathroom, and didn't leave it even when I told her I was headed here. I don't know if she's still in there now.” He sighed and took a long drink of his coffee. “Women! You can't live without them and you can't live with them,” one of the others, Bradley, commiserated. “Absolutely! So anyway, we're not going to be at the barbecue later – I gotta sort this out. The kids will be sad though, they were looking forward to it.” “Actually, if you want to, you can leave them with me and I can send them back to your place afterwards,” I offered. “Joshua and Jacen get along, and Isabel can help me look after Jaina,” “Would you? That would be awesome,” Ernest said in relief. “It's probably better if they aren't around while we sort things out. Today morning was disturbing enough for them.” “Sure, brother – no worries. I have dinner at my folks' place tonight – its supposed to start at 6 but I can push it back to 6.30, so I can take them until 5.30 latest. Tell you what, I'll call you after the barbecue and see if its safe to return them then. If not, I'll drop them off on the way to my folks. How about that?” “Absolutely, thanks so much! I'll buy you a drink next time” “Two kids, two drinks – more if they're trouble!” I shot back with a smile. “Deal!” we bumped fists. “Speaking of which, how're your kids doing?” “Eh, alright, I guess. As well as can be expected. They're great kids in general.” “I don't know how you manage working a full time job and raising those two at the same time,” another guy spoke up. I shrugged. “You just do what you gotta do, take it one day at a time, and keep praying that you don't screw up too badly I guess!” Just then, a chime sounded and people began moving into the sanctuary in preparation for the service beginning. We got up (and I stuffed the last arc of the doughnut into my mouth) and filed into the service with the rest of the crowd. An hour and a half later, the service had ended and I was waiting to scan my kids' cards so I could collect them. Looking in through the window, I saw Jacen and Jaina playing a game which looked like the eagle-hen-chick game. One of the children was the “hen”, and a line of kids stood behind her, each grabbing the shoulders of the person in front of them. The “eagle” tried to get around the “hen”, who quickly moved around to block, causing the line of “chicks” behind her to scream, bend, and eventually some kids to break off and tumble to the floor, laughing. Unsurprisingly, Jacen was the “eagle”. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Jaina was one of the “chicks”, happily laughing as she got up again. However, I noticed as she was rolling around that she was no longer wearing her bloomers, exposing her diaper, which was also clearly soaked and in need of a change. After scanning the cards, I went into the room and called “Jacen! Jaina! Lets go” They both looked up and waved to me happily. “Daddy!” both of them shouted, ran to me, and hugged me round my waist. “C'mon, get your things, we gotta go!” They ran to grab their bags from the shelf. I saw Julian walking over as well. “Hi Julian, thanks so much for your help again! How were they?” I asked him “They're good! Jacen was his usual self, Jaina warmed up after about fifteen minutes or so, and had no complaints the rest of the day! Oh – except that one of the other kids spilled his water bottle on the ground near Jaina about ten minutes ago, which caused her pants and skirt to be wet, so we helped her get her pants off.” “That explains it. She should have a spare set of pants in her bag though?” “Nope, we didn't see any in there. We put the wet pants in a plastic bag and put it in her bag.” I rolled my eyes “she must have forgotten to pack it. I didn't have the time to check their bags today morning.” Just then, the two kids came back over with their belongings. “Alright then, we're heading off! Thanks again and see you!” “Bye teacher Julian!” the kids chorused. Jaina gave Julian a big hug before grabbing my hand and walking off together. “Alright kids – first stop, who needs a change?” I asked. “Not me! I went to the toilet just now!” Jacen said proudly. Jaina just looked down at her shoes. “Alright Jaina, lets go get you changed! Jacen, go to the potty again, we're going straight to the barbecue from here and who knows when' the next time you'll get to the potty?” I brought them both to the family restroom, which miraculously happened to be available. I put Jaina on the changing counter, pulled a clean diaper and wipes out, and proceeded to change her while Jacen pulled down his pull-ups and stood at the toilet. “There's nothing, daddy”, Jacen informed me as he pulled his pull-ups and pants back up. “Alright, now wash your hands and wait til I've changed your sister, OK?” A few minutes later, we went out of the Foyer and met Ernest, who was with his two kids. Isabel was – I think – 11, while Joshua was 7. Both were staring at their phones, Isabel obviously texting and Joshua apparently playing a game “Hi Isabel, hi Joshua,” I called as I approached. They both looked up, quickly said “Hi, uncle Julian”, before returning to their phones. Jacen and Jaina both broke free of my hands and ran to greet Ernest before staring at what Joshua was doing on his phone. “Thanks so much for taking them, Luke,” Ernest told me, pulling me aside. “Rachel's apparently furious at me for going to church, can you believe it? I had fifty angry messages from her when I looked at my phone after the service!” I winced sympathetically. “She sounds hopping mad, alright? What happened this time?” “I don't know, I guess I'll find out when I get home,” he wearily sighed. “Keep it cool, man. Call me if you need anything tonight – I should be home by around 10 pm” “Thanks. I might need a drink tonight – or a place to sleep” he smiled wryly. We turned back to the children, who were still frozen in the same positions as earlier, deeply engrossed in the phones. “Bel! Josh! Phones away!” Ernest commanded. “Hold on...” Joshua said, still in his game. Isabel's fingers stopped moving and she looked up from her phone. “Joshua!” Ernest raised his voice a little. Joshua jumped and guiltily put the phone down. “Here's the plan for this afternoon. I won't be going for the barbecue – you heard what happened today morning, and I think mummy and daddy need some time to sort things out. You'll be going with Uncle Luke instead. Listen to him, do what he tells you to do, and he'll drop you off at home before dinner, alright?” The 2 kids nodded their heads. Isabel asked “Are you and mum going to... you know... be OK?” I detected a slight quaver in her voice. “Of course!” Ernest projected confidence as he reached out, ruffled Isabel's hair, and pulled her in for a quick kiss on her cheek. He repeated the same thing to Joshua. “Everyone gets into disagreements, we just need some time to deal with it and it'll blow over soon.” “OK. I love you daddy,” Isabel replied. “Love you too sweetheart. Alright, I'm heading off, be good – thanks so much again, Luke! Call me before you send them over, and I'll update you if there's any change of plans!” After clasping my hand, Ernest turned and strode off towards his car. I turned back to the kids. “Alright, let's get going! Does anyone feel like having ice cream first?” “Yes yes yes me me me me me!” the children – even Isabel - cheered as we walked towards my car. Once quick stop at a petrol station for fuel and five ice-creams later, we pulled up at the barbecue site. It was a short drive away from the church and as such, most of the site was pretty crowded by the time we arrived. I could smell charcoal fires going and food cooking as we walked to the tables. “Hi there, Luke!” A cheery lady from the social committee bustled up and took the container of French toast from me. “Thanks so much for this! I'll handle this, go find a place for your picnic mat and sort out your kids!” she caught sight of Ernest's children then. “Oh hi, Isabel and... Joshua, right? Where's your mummy and daddy?” “They had something on, I'm babysitting the kids for the afternoon.” I quickly interjected. “Thanks Gloria, come on, kids! Jaina, your ice cream's dripping!” “Oops!” We eventually found a not-too-hot spot under a tree. It was a nice spring day – the weather wasn't too cold, the sun wasn't too strong, the wind was refreshing but not bothersome... a perfect day for a picnic. I spread out the picnic mat and sent the kids to get some drinks and snacks. Jacen and Jaina both had special cups with tight lids and straws to help ensure they didn't spill anything on the way back. Not too long later, the kids returned with plates of chips, buns, hot dogs, French toast, and other junk food. “You know what, it's still too early to eat. Why don' t you all go play first?” I suggested. Joshua jumped up immediately “Sure! Jacen, Jaina, let's go!” “Hold on – Jaina, let me get you changed first!” I dug into my picnic bag and pullet out a pair of shorts, which I helped Jaina into before helping her out of her dress and into a t-shirt. I noticed in passing that Jaina still appeared to be dry and that her diaper stuck out of the top of her shorts quite noticeably when her shirt rode up. “Be back here in an hour, tops!” I set a countdown timer on Jacen's wristwatch – a G-Shock in a camouflage pattern he had received for Christmas last year. When the watch beeped, he would know to come back. “Ready... set... go!” I shouted as I pressed the button to start the timer, and with excited whoops the 3 younger kids ran off towards a promising game of kick-ball some of Joshua's friends were playing. I noted that one of the other parents was supervising them and caught his eye. Look out for those 3 for me, I mimed. He flashed a thumbs-up in return. “So, Isabel, not going to play?” I asked her. She had been sitting down on the mat, staring at her phone once again. “Nope,” she replied. “I'm eleven, I'm too old to be playing with them.” “Suit yourself,” I responded, sitting down opposite her and snacking on some hot dogs. I dug into my picnic bag and pulled out my sunglasses and a squashy pillow. “I'm gonna get some winks, wake me up if anything interesting happens, hmm?” “Uncle Luke,” I was patting the ground looking for a comfortable spot when Isabel spoke up. She had put down her phone and was looking at me. “Why is Jaina wearing diapers? I mean, she's six, right? I know she was wearing diapers last year too but shouldn't she be potty-trained by now?” I found a comfortable spot and lay down. “Jaina has some trouble with toilet training. Most of the time, she doesn't know she has to pee until she's actually peed. Also, unlike her brother, she shows no interest in using the toilet.” “Really?” “Yep. Personally, I suspect she actually likes wearing the diapers, although she won't admit it to me. She asks every morning if she can use underwear, but the few times I've put her in underwear, she hasn't seemed too happy. In fact, she'd usually wet those within an hour and ask to be put back into diapers.” “Have you tried, like, using pull-ups? Aren't they supposed to help with toilet training?” “Yes, I did when I first started toilet training them. Jacen was successful after some time, but Jaina never really seemed to get it.” I chuckled. “I remember when I first started – I bought both of them the pull-ups and told them they will have to learn to keep their “big boy” and “big girl” pants dry. Jacen was so happy and proud that for awhile, he refused to wear anything over the pull-up! On the other hand, Jaina cried when I took her diaper off and put her into the pull-ups, and refused to leave her room until I carried her out!” “Wow!” She thought awhile “So when did Jacen get trained?” “He was doing quite well – within three months, he was only having maybe two wet accidents a week and one messy accident every few months. It helped that we got him the “cool alert” pull-ups – they apparently get really cold when you pee, so he would always jump and say 'uh-oh' when he wet himself. He never actually stopped having accidents, though – even now, I put him into pull-ups when we have to go out for awhile. He's wearing one now, in fact.” “Really? I couldn't tell!” Isabel craned her neck around to look at where the kids were playing. Jacen was chasing a ball which was running away from him without any sign of discomfort or awkwardness. “Yeah, pull-ups are really discreet. You can't tell he's wearing them unless it gets wet. They don't hold up as well as diapers though – I've had some bad leaks when his accident was too big.” “Oh.” She was quiet for awhile. “So... Jaina's diapers are good, then?” “Quite good! They generally are great during the day, for about four hours or so – though less if she's had a lot to drink. They're starting to leak during the night, though – I'll probably move her to the largest size soon.” “What's she wearing now?” “Pampers cruisers size 6. They have a size 7 for 41 lbs and above, which should suit her now. Hopefully she'll get trained before we have to find a size 8,” I snorted. Isabel laughed a little as well, but stopped soon and went into a thoughtful silence. After some time, she asked again “so... when Jaina needs changing... does she change herself?” I frowned a little as I replied. “No, I change her. I've tried to teach her to change herself, but she can't handle the tapes. Actually, Isabel, why so many questions on this?” I peered at her over the top of my sunglasses.. “Nothing!” she quickly responded - too quickly. “I'm just curious since I saw her in the diapers.” “Isabel...” I sat up fully and faced her, taking off the sunglasses. “is there something you'd like to talk about?” “Nope!” she picked up her phone again and began to stare at it. “Isabel.” I covered her phone screen with my hand and gently took it away. Startled, she looked up at me. “You can talk to me, dear. You know that I'm concerned about you, you know that I care for you – heck, I was almost your godfather. You can trust me. What's going on?” “Nothing!” I heard a familiar quaver in her denial and was certain she was hiding something. “You sure? I know that your mum and dad have been quarrelling lately. It can't be easy for you...” I stopped then as tears began to flow from Isabel's eyes. “I... I...” she wiped at her eyes, but the tears continued to flow. “I...” I reached out a hand and put it on her shoulder. The moment that happened, she began to sob. “There, there, Isabel...” I moved myself to sit next to her and put my arm around her shoulder. She turned then to face me, giving up her self-restraint, and pushed her face into my shoulder. Her chest heaved as she sobbed into my shirt. I patted her shoulder gently with one hand while grabbing a handful of serviettes and handing them to her. She took them but didn't use them, continuing to cry into my t-shirt. “It's OK, let it out... it's alright... don't try to talk, just let it out...” Isabel continued to cry, soaking my shirt with tears and probably mucus. A few concerned mothers came over during that time to check on what's wrong, and left after I quietly explained that she was having family problems, and she needed to release stress and talk things out with someone. After a full ten minutes at least, Isabel's cries had faded into sniffles, and the tears had stopped. After a short while longer, she gently pushed herself away from me and sat straight. I gave her some napkins and went to my picnic bag for a fresh t-shirt. I walked behind a tree a short way away and quickly changed shirts. When I came back, Isabel was sitting with her arms hugging her knees, supporting her chin. Without saying anything, I sat next to her again and gave her a quick side squeeze. “I'm sorry, uncle Luke,” she said after some time in a rough voice. She coughed, cleared a throat, and drank some of her drink. “There's nothing to be sorry for, Bel. Would you like to talk now?” She nodded and gulped. “I... I've been wetting my bed.” She paused and looked at me out of one eye, gauging my reaction. I didn't react, maintaining a listening attitude, and she continued. “I... I wake up every morning and my bed is soaked with pee. I don't remember going at night, but I'm wet. It doesn't matter how much I drink at night, my bed is still wet anyway.” “When did this start?” I gently probed. “About two months ago?” she gulped. “I remember that I woke up at night for some water and heard mummy and daddy shouting at each other. I quietly went downstairs and saw mummy and daddy pushing each other and screaming – well, mummy was screaming, daddy was trying to keep mummy calm, I think. Mummy took a glass and threw it on the floor. It smashed and some of it cut daddy and...” her breaths had become quick and panicked. I patted her back a few times, and her breathing began to slow. “Mummy was screaming that she wanted a divorce. She said a lot of bad things about daddy, things which I know aren't true! They didn't see me, and I was scared, so I went upstairs to my bed again. The next day, my bed was wet.” “I see.” I handed another napkin over for her to clean up the tears, which had restarted as she was relating her story. We sat in silence until she got her tears under control again. I broke the silence. “Thank you, Isabel, for sharing that. What you did was a very good, brave, and right thing. Have you told anyone else about this before?” “I've told my best friends in school about the fighting, but not the bed wetting.” “OK, do your parents know about the bed wetting?” “Yes, daddy saw it when he came to wake me the next day. He's been helping me change and wash my bedsheets every day. He told mummy so mummy knows too, but mummy doesn't say anything to me about it. Joshua doesn't know, though.” “So, you're thinking of wearing diapers to help with the bed wetting?” She nodded hesitantly. “have you talked to your daddy or mummy about it?” “No,” she sniffed. “I have some money saved up so I thought I'd go and buy some on my own.” “I see. That's a very considerate thing you're doing, Bel.” “Are you going to tell my daddy?” she asked. “Do you want me to?” “I don't know. Should I?” “I think you should. It's going to be hard to hide it from your daddy. Plus, your daddy will know he isn't washing the bedsheets every day any more. Even if you don't tell him, he's going to find out anyway.” “True. But I don't want daddy to be worried...” I smiled at her. “Isabel, speaking as a daddy myself, I would be very happy if my daughter came to me for help on a problem she was facing, and showed me that she had a plan for it but needed my help. It shows us that you're growing up.” “Well... OK then. Can you help me talk to daddy about it though?” she pleaded. “I could, but I think its better if you told him everything yourself. Your daddy loves you a lot and I think it's best if he hears this from you directly.” “well...OK..” She bit her lip, no doubt worrying about how to broach the topic with her father. “Let me help you – I'll swing by the supermarket on the way to your place. I'll buy some of the Size 7 Pampers there – I'll say its for Jacen and Jaina if Joshua asks. After we get to your place, I'll give you a bag, and you can bring it to your room while I distract your daddy. You'll have to get past your mummy yourself, though.” “Will the Pampers fit?” she wondered. “You weigh...about 70 pounds?” “72!” “Well, I've heard that they can fit big kids, so they should be fine! If not, you can always return them to me.” “How will... how will I get them on?” she blushed slightly. “Well, why don't you ask your daddy to help you? You talk to him about this tonight, and I'm sure he will be happy to help. He can teach you how to do it yourself too – then if you wake up at night, you can use the bathroom and put the diaper back on later”. “OK.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Thanks so much, Uncle Luke. You're the best.” She gave me a quick hug before standing up. “I'm going to use the bathroom and need to wash my face.” “Alright, see you back here shortly.” she nodded and walked off. I was accosted as I was picking up all the discarded tissues and cleaning up the area. “Well, well, Luke Wilson, what was THAT about? We could hear it all the way from the barbecue!” A middle aged, slightly plump lady bustled over and questioned me. “That was Isabel, Ernest and Jean's daughter, was that not? Where are they anyhow?” “Oh, its a private matter. Girls at her age, you know... hormones and all that... it was nothing. Ernest and Jean couldn't make it today and asked me to help babysit them for the afternoon” I gave a light hearted answer to try to brush her off. I had always disliked Linda, who tried to get her nose in everyone's business under the pretext of 'praying for that person's problems'. She was the leader of the church's “prayer chain”, which was a polite euphemism for the stay-at-home gossip-mongers which were the curse and plague of every church. “Well now!” she sniffed, clearly not convinced. “It certainly didn't sound like an ordinary episode! What kind of thing caused that kind of an 'episode', anyway? Surely there must be something we could help pray for?” “Like I said, Linda, it's private. It's really no big deal and there's certainly no need to activate the prayer chain for this. We all have equal access to God, you know.” “Well now! Good to know, good to know. I hope Isabel gets over what's bugging her soon! You know, if she ever needs to talk to a woman over womanly issues,” she gave a few significant looks, “I am always happy to be of help!” “Thank you, Linda. I'll be sure to let her know.” I forced myself to be polite. Just then, miraculously, help came in the form of 3 bundles of tearing energy. “Hi daddy!” Jacen was drenched in sweat and flopped down on the picnic mat. He grabbed his drink and began to suck at it thirstily. Joshua did the same, while Jaina came and tugged my hand urgently. “Daddy, I think I need to pee!” she exclaimed, to my surprise. “OK, lets go quickly! Isabel, keep an eye on the other 2 for me – bring them to get some food if you don't mind!” Isabel, who had just returned, gave me a thumbs up. I picked Jaina up and walked quickly towards the washroom. “Hurry, daddy!” Jaina told me as I locked the stall door. I had brought her into the men's bathroom as there was no family room. “OK!” I pulled down her pants and quickly untaped her diaper, which proved indeed to be dry. I quickly put her onto the toilet seat, and immediately the musical sound of her pee hitting the water sounded. “Great job, Jaina! Awesome!” I cheered for her, and she grinned at me as she continued to pee. The pee dwindled quickly, but the fact that she had made it to the bathroom was encouraging to both of us. “OK, hop down!” I helped her get down before pressing the flush button. As usual, she shrank away from the noisy flush. “Awesome job, Jaina!” I told her as I re-taped the diaper around her waist. “we can try pull-ups later, OK?” I hoped that we would be able to re-start her toilet training, which I had given up on around a month and a half ago.. “OK daddy!” She cheerfully exited the toilet and washed her hands. We stopped by the grill line to pick up some burgers and some more drinks, before rejoining Isabel, Joshua, and Jacen at the picnic mat. “Did she make it?” Isabel asked me. “Yes she did!” “Great job, Jaina!” Isabel high-fived Jaina. Then, Isabel quietly whispered into my ear “I think Jacen's wet. When we were queueing just now, I heard him say 'uh-oh' and freeze for awhile, and he was walking a little different when we walked back.” “Did he?” I glanced and Jacen, who was chatting with Joshua. His waist did look a little more puffy than before, but it wasn't clear. “Well, thanks for letting me know. I don't think there's any rush, though. He'll probably ask for a change later.” “Alright!” we settled down to eat, and the 3 “J"s began to tell me excitedly about what they had done earlier. As the children were clearing up the residue from lunch and bringing the trash to the designated bins, I glanced at my watch and noted that it was 2.15 pm “Alright kids! Time to get going!” I clapped my hands to get their attention. “Pack everything up, make sure there's no litter left behind! Anything you forget is a donation to the park!” “Aww!” Jacen and Jaina whined, but Jaina was yawning at the same time she whined. “No whining, we need to get home and the two of you need to take naps!” “Naps?” Jacen protested. “I don't need a nap!” “Yeah!” Jaina echoed – but then yawned again. I stifled a laugh as Jacen followed suit with his own yawn. “Well, you certainly need a bath, and a change too!” I retorted, looking at Jacen significantly. I noticed that his hand immediately moved to his pull-up and that an uncomfortable look passed across his face. “If you don't want to nap, you can just lie down quietly alright?”. “Fine!” he huffed. “Great! Now let's get going, I'm leaving in 10 minutes and whoever isn't ready stays behind!” “Wait, I need to pee!” Joshua tore off towards the toilet. I took the opportunity and crouched down next to Jacen. “Daddy, I'm wet,” he told me, before I could ask. “I was queueing for food and suddenly my pull-up became cold!” “It's alright, buddy, you were probably too excited today. I'll change you when we get home, OK?” “OK,” he wasn't too happy about it, but acquiesced. “Do you need to pee now?” I patted his bum with my hand, noting that it didn't feel swollen. “I think this pull-up can hold one more wetting so you might as well go in it if you need to.” “Nope!” he informed me. “Uncle Luke”, Isabel tapped my shoulder. “Daddy messaged me, he says that we should come back at around 5.30 pm later and that we'll stay at your house first.” “Crap, I must have missed his call. Sure, you're always welcome at my place. In that case,” I lowered my voice “I have some Pampers size 7s at my place – you can check and see if they fit OK?” “OK” she whispered back. “Thanks, Uncle Luke.” “My pleasure.” I raised my voice to address the rest of the kids. “OK, everyone, lets go!”

Glad to hear you got custody but WOW! 4 kids? Greatest respect to you!

I like this idea. I'm taking this on. 1st chapter - https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/63423-seesaw-twins/

A/N: This will be a 3-part short series. I'm a little out of practice, so I hope it turns out alright. This story idea was taken from HighVoltage in the "Idea Adoption Thread" https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/57308-idea-adoption-thread/ CHAPTER 1 – MORNING (0730 – 0935) Parenting a child is manageable. Parenting two children is difficult. Parenting two children born at the same time... can be overwhelming at times. Solo-parenting twins is practically impossible. Solo-parenting twins who are almost exact opposites of each other... … God help me. They looked adorable asleep, curled up together on the same bed.. Jacen's head was resting next to Jaina's belly, while Jaina's right up lay over Jacen's head. The peaceful rhythm of their breathing was the only sound that filled the room as they ran and played in slumberland. Gazing at them in the dim light from the hallway, my heart – once again – swelled with love. I promised myself that today, today, I would be more patient. I would be more understanding. I would be more happy, and loving,and kind, and remember that they were barely 6 years old, and that they were all that I had left of my dearest Rachel. I stood in the doorway, letting myself enjoy the peaceful sight for a few minutes. Mentally, part of me reviewed my preparations. Wash-cloth, check. Breakfasts, check. Clean clothes, check. Itinerary for the day... 10 am., church Noon, church BBQ 3 pm, home, kids to nap, get laundry started, plan for next week. 6 pm, dinner with Dad, Mum, Pa, and Ma, Dad's place. 10 pm, home and bed. I was ready. I opened the room door fully and turned the light on. “GOOD MORNING my sleepyheads! Arise and shine! Time for breakfast!” I clapped my hands twice as I walked into the room. As usual, Jacen woke up almost immediately, stretching and yawning, rubbing his eyes. He rolled over, sat up, and blinked at me as he shook the last vestiges of sleep out of his eyes. I walked over to him and picked him up as he stretched out his arms. “Good morning daddy” he said into my ear as he rested his head on my shoulder with his arms around my neck. His diaper felt wet, although perhaps a little less wet than usual. “Good morning, my strong Padawan. What did you dream of last night?” I murmured as I patted his back and gave him a gentle squeeze. He may be growing up quickly, but he still needed his morning hug from daddy. He stayed like that for about thirty seconds before he begin to squirm. “I need to pee,” he whispered into my ear. “Alright, let me get your diaper off first!” I quickly put him down and pulled down his pyjama pants. Untaping the diaper, I rolled it up into a ball as Jacen stepped out of his pants and ran into the washroom. In a few seconds, I heard a faint tinkle as he used the restroom. I knew that he would spend some time there to wash up, and so I turned to my daughter. Jaina hadn't stirred at all from when I was watching her, staying deeply asleep through the light and the noise. I shook my head as I shook her gently. Unlike her brother, Jaina was not a morning person. “Wakey wakey, Jaina,” I murmured as she finally began to stir. As usual, I noticed a slight additional pungency to the air as her diaper began to expand again. Jaina mumbled some protests as I continued to shake her, until she finally opened her eyes with a bleary frown, glaring at me slightly. “Don't give me that look, darling,” I gently chided her as I got my hands beneath her shoulders and picked her up, carrying her like how I had carried her brother a moment before. She buried her face into my shoulder, trying to go back to sleep in denial that the day had already started. As usual, I let her. Honestly, I empathised with Jaina. When I was in college, my day started at 12 noon and ended at 4 a.m on average. I could never take morning classes unless I hooked myself up to a drip bag of caffeine throughout the class. Rachel, on the other hand, was usually up at 6 a.m and had run a few miles, showered, did her hair, had a great breakfast, caught up with social media, and was in class punctually every day. We somehow made our relationship work, but I was still the owl and she the lark, even during the few years of our marriage. Still, when you become a parent... I continued to carry Jaina as she dozed on my shoulder, listening as her brother gargled noisily in the washroom. I felt her diaper cooling and a little wetness seep out onto her pyjamas as her diaper failed to totally hold in her morning flood. I eventually heard the patter of Jacen's feet and he ran into the room soon after, face washed, teeth brushed, hair flattened and wet. He stopped in front of me and held out his hands for inspection. Still carrying his sister, I crouched down and examined Jacen's hands, teeth, and face, adopting a slightly exaggerated serious expression as I did so. Jacen giggled as I passed a critical eye over his hands and face. “Alright, soldier, everything looks good, but I've got my eye on you!” I drawled as I finished the inspection. Jacen laughed. “Yes sir!” he exclaimed, giving a rather accurate salute. “Soldier! Why is your butt showing? Go put on some pants!” He laughed again “Yes sir!” he ran to his drawer, pulled out a pair of clean undies and shorts, and got into them. “Sir, my pants are on sir!” He couldn't help giggling as he ran to me and saluted again. I laughed with him. “Alright soldier, you better keep those pants dry!” “Yes Sir!” “Now go have your breakfast!” I dropped the drill sergeant voice “I made French toast today! Make sure you finish everything on your plate – especially the fruit – and wash your hands before you eat! I'm going to get Jaina ready”. “OK! Awesome! French Toast!” He cheered as he ran out of the door “AND NO RUNNING DOWN THE STAIRS!” I shouted after him, before turning my attention to Jaina – who somehow, had amazingly fallen into a deeper doze despite all the hullabaloo. “Jaina! Wake up!” I jiggled her a little as I carried her to the washroom. She grumbled and buried her face in my shoulder again. I sighed and put her down on the closed toilet seat in the bathroom, gently untangling her hands from my neck and pushing her to sit upright. With one hand, I took the pre-prepared washcloth and began to wipe her face. “Jaina, wakey, good morning...” I continued in a singsong voice as she tried to avoid the cold washcloth. “Mmmph” she whined, before finally opening her eyes and glaring at me with a hurt look. I smiled at her and carefully wiped the corners of her eyes. “Good MORNING, sleepyhead,” I smiled “Good morning daddy,” she finally replied, a little sulkily. “Don't be like that,” I chided her as I pulled her pyjama top and bottom off, leaving her in just her wet diaper. “OK, now can you go and brush your teeth and wash your face?” She grumblingly stood and squished – yes, squished, given how wet that diaper was – over to stand on a little stool in front of the sink. She grabbed her toothbrush and ran it under the tap. “Toothpaste,” I reminded her. She squeezed a dollop of paste onto her brush, before sticking it in her mouth and scrubbing. “Remember to count the circles! Once you're done – and don't take shortcuts, i'll know – wash your face, comb, your hair, then come to me in your room!” I heard her mumbled assent around a mouthful of foam as I left the washroom. “Jacen! How's the toast?” I shouted down the stairs. “Its delicious! Can I have two – no, three pieces daddy?” “You can have as many as you like!” I shouted back down. “But make sure you finish ALL your fruit and yogurt before you start your third piece!” “OK!” “After you're done, wash your hands and face, and come back upstairs!” “OK!” “And finish your juice too!” “OK!” I popped across the hallway into my own room for awhile to check the messages on my phone. I quickly replied to a few, especially to confirm my attendance for the barbecue and that I was bringing a platter of French toast, before I heard Jaina leaving her washroom. “Alright, lets get you changed.” I walked into her room behind her. “Daddy, wait!" She exclaimed. "I need to poop!” she continued, and immediately squatted down. I rolled my eyes. “Jaina, can you please poop in the toilet?” I asked her resignedly. “No!” she responded quickly and fearfully “I want to poop in my pampers!” From below, I heard Jacen call “Daddy I'm going poopy!”, feet running, and a door slam. I guess that's twin synchronisation for you. “Alright, call me when you're done!” I shouted back. I turned back to Jaina, who was still squatting. “Jaina, you CAN poop in the toilet! Its safe, I'll go with you! C'mon!” “No daddy, I don't want to,” she began to cry. “I want to poop in my diaper!” “But Jaina...” Just then, I heard her give a huge grunt and the point became moot. She continued to cry as she filled her diaper and after awhile, her poop smell began to fill the room. She finished off and stood up, still crying. “Alright, I might as well rinse you off in the shower then” I told her. Red-faced and still crying, she approached me and hugged me, assaulting my nose with her diaper's smell. Only a parent... I hugged her and rubbed her back, carefully picking her up to avoid pushing on her diaper seat, and carried her to the washroom. “Daddy, I'm done!” Jacen's voice came from downstairs. “Coming!” I put Jaina down in the washroom. “Jaina, look at me. I'm going to help Jacen first, so you stay here and wait for me to come back. No buts!” I preempted her protest. “If you want to poop in your diaper, you can wait for me to come back to change your diaper.” “Daddy...” she began to cry again as I turned around and walked down the stairs to help Jacen. I heard her footsteps behind me and turned to see her following me, rubbing her eyes, about to go into a fully-fledged meltdown. More patience... more love... she's not a morning person... poop in a diaper is icky... she feels guilty and bad... I sighed as I relented. “Alright... come here.” I picked her up again and this time, she wrapped her legs around me as I picked her up, forcing me to support her weight with a hand against her butt, inevitably pushing the mess around. That's going to be a real delight to clean up... I carried Jaina downstairs, wrinkling my nose at both her stink and at another stink which grew stronger the closer I got to the kitchen washroom. I put her down and turned to Jacen, who was standing next to the poop in the toilet cistern and staring at Jaina curiously. “Alright, wipe your bum, stinky boy!” I put on my drill sergeant voice and both kids burst out laughing – even Jaina, although it was only for a flash. I checked Jacen as he wiped his butt to make sure he cleaned himself properly – great, another skill mastered! - and proudly flushed the toilet thereafter. “Good job, soldier-clean-bum! Now go wash your hands and get back to breakfast!” “Yes sir!” As Jacen industriously scrubbed his hands, I walked out of the washroom back upstairs with Jaina in tow. “So when's it going to be your turn to use the potty, Jaina?” I asked her on the way up. She frowned and pouted without answering. Sigh... I carried Jaina into the bathtub in the washroom and, holding my breath, pulled the diaper off her. I pushed her poop into the commode and balled up the diaper before stuffing it into the covered trash can. I then carefully put Jaina on the toilet seat and turned on the bidet, holding her in place as the water washed the worst of the poop into the cistern. Jaina whimpered and grabbed hold of my hands tightly as she felt the water washing her bum. She'll get used to it, I reminded myself for perhaps the thousandth time. Eventually. I hope. Once she had achieved a reasonable level of cleanliness, I lifted her into the bathtub and flushed the cistern, before using the shower head and soap to clean off the rest of the poop. I handed her a towel as she clambered out of the bathtub. “Alright, dry yourself and lets get you changed, alright?” She nodded agreeably and wiped herself dry as I walked back to her room “Jaina, hang up the towel when you're done!” I reminded her. “OK daddy!” When she returned to her room, I took her new diaper and held it out for her to step into. “Well, Jaina, its good that you pooped in your night diaper and not this one,” I commented as I pulled the diaper up onto her. The night diaper, which used tapes, was a lot better at holding in messy accidents than a pull-up style diaper. Jaina blushed a little. “Daddy, why must I wear diapers,” she asked plaintively. “Jaina, you know why,” I replied gently. “You can wear underwear when you learn to use the potty for your pee, OK?” “But I try, daddy, but I can't,” she replied sadly “I don't know I pee until I'm wet”. “Its alright, darling,” I reached out and put a hand under her chin, lifting her eyes to meet mine. “I know you're trying, and if you keep trying, you'll definitely get it one day. Until then, the diapers will keep your clothing clean and dry so you can play with your friends.” “If I'm dry today, can I use underwear tomorrow?” she asked. “If you're dry for one week, then you can use underwear,” I replied. “I'll try.”. She sighed. It was a conversation we had every day when I diapered her. Every day, she would complain about her diapers, but would then be wet within a few hours. I pulled a t-shirt over her head but left her bottoms off. “OK, go get your breakfast, then come back and find me, alright? “OK, I love you daddy,” she walked out of the door just as her brother came running up the stairs. “Daddy, I'm done! Can I watch TV?” “Let's get you dressed first, shall we? It's... oh my goodness, its 8.30, we better get things sped up!” I grabbed his pull-up and held it open for him. “C'mon, lets get you into your church gear!” “All right, Iron Man!” He enthusiastically named the superhero on his pullup as he pulled off his underwear and shorts. He stepped into the pull up and then sat down and begin to pull on the pair of jeans I laid out for him thereafter. “OK, remember to use the bathroom when the teacher gives you a break, OK? Even if you don't feel like you need to go,” I reminded him. While Jacen was usually able to stay dry, he would sometimes get too caught up in a game or show and forget to go, ending up wetting himself. The pull-up was there in case that happened, particularly in view of the barbecue later. The pull-up was some special “cool-n-learn” type which rapidly alerted him to an accident, and it seemed to be working well as he was only wetting himself about twice a week now. “Do you want to wear your Iron man shirt and socks as well?” I asked him. “Yeah!” he exclaimed excitedly. I chucked as I tossed the shirt over his head, eliciting a laughing “hey!” of protest. I put the socks next to his feet. “Alright, once you're dressed go pack your bag with the usual things. Make sure you still have 2 extra pull-ups in there! After that, you can bring your bag with you and watch TV until we have to leave!” “Yeah!!” he cheered. “Can I bring my Iron man toys too?” “you can bring the mask but NOT the glove-gun! Remember if you lose it, you're aren't getting a replacement!" “Thanks daddy!” he called after me as I left for my own room, to get myself ready for church. In my room, I closed the door and flopped onto my bed. What a morning! After a few minutes, I tiredly mustered enough willpower to sit up, drag myself over to my closet, and change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I chose a checked shirt to wear over the t-shirt, and walked into my bathroom. I stood before my mirror and made sure I looked alright, and my gaze fell upon Rachel's photograph. Oh Rachel... I touched my fingers to my mouth and touched my wife's photograph tenderly with them. I could really have used your help today. The kids are great but man... 5 years had dulled the pain into an ache, which now flared up. Rachel had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer while she was pregnant with the twins. Risking her life, she refused to commence treatment until the twins had been born – but the treatment had not worked, and she passed away less than a year later. I still miss you. I still love you. I silently told her. I stood still for some time, until I heard a soft knock on my door and it opened slowly. “Daddy?” Jaina walked in slowly. I realised then that I had some tears in my eyes and quickly splashed water on my face. “Yes -” I cleared my throat “yes, Jaina?” “I've finished breakfast. Are you OK?” “I'm OK, darling.” She clearly wasn't fooled, and walked over to me. I knelt down and she grabbed me and hugged me tightly. “I love you daddy. You're the best daddy in the whole world and I love you SO much.” Precious Jaina. She was always so sensitive to others' feelings, despite her young age. I hugged her back tightly. “I love you, Jaina. You're my precious angel, the most precious girl in the whole world.” I whispered into her ear. We hugged for a few moments more before mutually withdrawing. I looked at her and noticed a speck of egg still on her cheek. “Alright, go wash your face properly and let's get you dressed for church alright?” Jaina chose to wear her blue Queen Elsa dress, and I helped her braid her hair to match. I made sure she wore a pair of bloomers to help hide her diaper, before giving her the same instructions I gave Jacen. Finally, finally, I was able to go into the kitchen, pack up the remaining squares of toast and grab a glass of OJ. “Jacen! Jaina! Turn off the TV Now! Jacen, go make your bed! Jaina, come here and clean the table!” I shouted as I loaded the dishwasher. “Yes, daddy!” came the response, accompanied by the sound of the TV turning off and the 2 of them running to do their chores. “Once you're done, get your bags and wear your shoes! We're leaving in 15 minutes!” “OK!” 15 minutes later, we were at the door when Jacen exclaimed “Wait! I need to pee!” and ran back into the house. I rolled my eyes. “Jaina? How about you?” “I'm OK,” she informed me, but with a little guilty note in her voice. “Really?” I knelt down and poked her diaper – and felt gels move under my finger. “Jaina...” I shook my head and checked how much she had wet as she looked down embarrassedly. “It's alright, you're just a little wet. I can probably change you after church, but do be aware of yourself and if you need a change before that, ask your teacher for help, alright? Remember you're wearing a pants diaper, so it may leak if you don't!” “Alright daddy” she sheepishly answered. “Did you know you were wet?” I asked her. “...no...” her reply was hesitant. “OK, pay more attention, alright?” I patted her head as Jacen came rushing out from the toilet. “Jacen, you made it?” “Yes, only a little bit went in my pull-up!” he said proudly. “Fine job, soldier!” I grinned back. “Alright, into the car, let's get going, we're late!” The children piled into their car seats and I strapped them in, before getting into the car, starting the engine, and pulling out of the driveway. “Oh well, we should be able to make it in time – I hope,” I muttered as I glanced at the clock, which read 9.34 am. Oh well. At least people understand that solo parenting twins isn't easy.