Meisje

Thanks! the impression that I got about the sexual side comes from reading some of the stories here and elsewhere. In those stories things take either a sexual turn or it’s about punishment. Or preferably both combined OTOH, it makes sense that stories about feeling warm & fuzzy may be very boring for others to read. No plot, no drama ...

Hi everyone, I’m Lotte and I live in the Netherlands. I signed up here at dailydiapers because I hope that reading other people’s experiences and talking to them might help me figure out my own feelings connected to wearing diapers and plastic pants. I’ve always been fully urinary incontinent, though it was diagnosed when I was six years old. I don’t remember much about the time before the diagnosis was made, apart from that it was very stressful. The pull-ups that I wore were useless in the continuous stream of accidents that made up my day, and in the end I got really anxious to fall asleep at night. But afterwards things got much better because I was put in proper diapers. My parents opted for traditional cotton diapers and plastic pants because because of my heavy wetting, and disposable pads and plastic pants for school. Maybe it was the relief of being freed from the stress and anxiety, or maybe the physical sensation, or maybe the way my parents tried to restore my self-esteem; but having to wear those cotton diapers and large plastic pants caused a strange kind of delight in me. I still can’t describe it very well. I was aware that others might laugh at me or pity me if they found out I was still in diapers at the advanced age of six, as of course they did. I’m convinced that that inner delightful glow made me feel stronger to deal with that. It’s still pretty much the same. That strange joy that I feel about “having to wear diapers and plastic pants” has never changed, and I am glad I still have that almost-magical defense against how society looks down upon incontinence. The feeling has nothing to do with sex. If I can compare it with anything, it is something like this: maybe you’ll remember reading books (or maybe watching a movie) as a child about someone that you identified with: a princess, a hero, whatever. I’ve always felt a particular thrill trying to imagine myself in their place, on the moment of miraculous victory or grace (“eucatastrophe” as JRR Tolkien called it), though of course on a very personal scale. It’s a kind of magic glow. Of course, there’s still the hassle of having to deal with the extra work, the fact that I need much more time to get up and go to bed, always having to consider bringing diapers and being able to either wash them or throw them out - whether to tell people or not. But I guess that’s pretty much the same for everyone who deals with full urinary incontinence. I’m very curious if anyone who identifies as abdl feels similar as I described? As far as I’ve understood it, my feelings aren’t only different because most ab/dl folk seem to have sexual feelings associated with age-play or wearing diapers, but also because there often seems to be a strong tension between the person’s actual situation, and the state they want to be in. And whenever they enter into that it becomes a kind of role-playing (please correct me if I am wrong! It’s just based on what I have read until now) - I wonder if that tension between “actual state” and “desired state” is part of the fun, or just something you have to live with? So that it would actually be much better if you could realise the fantasy? Imagine you could somehow realise the fantasy, would that really work? Or would whatever makes it exciting disappear because the tension wouldn’t be there, and probably neither any sexual feelings, at least in the intensity as an adult experiences them? Bye for now!