Knighttymebirdie

Although I wear for pleasure, I have also in recent years been in need of wearing for medical problems beyond my control. So, I'm at a happy medium in my life in which if someone noticed my diapers, or asked pointed questions about why I wear them, I can respond with reasonable confidence that I have legitimate reasons to wear them, especially when my medical problem causing my bowels to release almost beyond my control. But I could also let them know what I wear or don't wear is none of their business, and to mind their own! [emoji1303][emoji6][emoji1][emoji41] Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

Hi all, I know that I don't post a lot here on DD, but since my last post, I've been happily (relatively speaking) living in Littleton, Colorado for about a year & a half now. While I've been comfortably working towards settling into my own place for the first time in over a decade, I'm finding it difficult to find friends, especially AB/DL friends. People whom I could talk to about diapers with, and wouldn't feel... awkward about it. Anyway, maybe someone can point me in the right direction of where I can possibly meet some new friends. Someplace that's accessible by bus/light rail since my truck decided to take a dump on me (financially). Thanks in advance! -The Birdie Knight Owl 2019 Sent from my SM-G975U using Tapatalk

I don't think EVERYONE has a problem with adults wearing diapers. They're made for a specific reason, but I'll grant you the fact that when the average person thinks of an adult who wears a diaper, their initial mindset is "Is that person like sick or ill, and can't hold in their bodily fluid waste?" And you know, that would've been my first thought if I were not, in fact, a DL myself. But, after having a whole year full of having one accident after another, not being able to eat, and feeling very sick myself, I've come to realize that I had a saving grace for liking to wear Adult Diapers. Now, I'm wearing them at home on a regular basis, and if I think my bowels will be on the side of loose during the day, I grab an adult pullup. If someone has a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine. That being said, yes, babies & toddlers do get out of diapers at an early age, but not all. Myself included, there are children who have bedwetting issues. At this point in my life, I'm not ashamed anymore to admit that up until I was 13yrs old, I had issues with bedwetting. And it sucked so bad. And yes, diapers were a punishment. Now, I find diapers to be a reprieve if I have the occasional accident at night, and not the "Whoops!" Purposely accidental at night either. So, while yes, there is a stigma to ABDL, I think there are ways to overcome that stigma. I have a couple of female friends I've told my ABDL secrets to, and they still talk to me regularly. And it wasn't like a big "shock & awe" to either of them. One of which lives in Missouri, and wants to meet with me sometime later this month when she gets to Colorado Springs just about 45 minutes south of Castle Rock, CO. So, I think if you can explain it in such a way that doesn't quite make it sexual, at least not at first, you can get around the stigma, the controversial nature of being either AB or DL, or both. And you can still maintain healthy relationships with friends, even ones on the opposite side of the gender line, or even on the same gender team, just as long as you don't make it weird head on or head first. Just my two cents worth. -James T. Knight 2018 "Don't forget to wiggle your diaper butt at least once a day!" "Be diapered & proud of it!" "Accidents happen! That's why we are allowed to buy ADULT diapers!!" Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Don't know if anyone else has said this, but it's worth repeating anyway. Don't ever feel pressured to tell people, including your therapist or your psychiatrist about your AB/DL fetish, whether sexual or otherwise. First, let me start by giving some background about me. Like you, I've been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), as well as symptoms of PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder type 2, and many other problems both physical and mental as well as social anxiety issues to boot. I've been in counseling/therapy for almost a decade now, but before I started going consistently to a therapist, I was going only sporadically after my father's death in 2003. Even before then, I knew I had social anxiety issues, and deeply rooted mental health issues. Thankfully, nothing severely violent. The severe bullying in school didn't help, and nearly all kinds of abuse (yes, including sexual abuse at some point) at home also didn't help. And having to go to multiple doctors every week for many years after my birth up to and including my young adult life REALLY didn't help as well. Also like you, I've both taken & taken myself off medications for anxiety and depression. And like you as well, I've contemplated telling my current therapist about my diaper fetish. I've already told my therapist about some of the the sexual assault/abuse I've been through, but I haven't dared to tell her about my diaper lover fetish. I have carefully thought about that topic, and I've always come to the conclusion that perhaps it's not the right time. Forewarning/disclaimer time: I'm not, I repeat NOT, a psychologist or psychology major in college. I'm not a psychiatrist. I have only some basic psychology reading under my belt due to being in the field of I.T. which IS my chosen major at the moment. Which may change since my medical history and current health issues including my many disabilities are unduly affecting my continued commitment to my degree path in college. I've come to accept that being in the I.T. industry involves being reliable, (depend)able, and otherwise having no medical issues working in a stressful work environment. My plans are to switch to a degree where I'm doing freelance work either with my interests in music, or freelance writer, which can involve LOTS of research and getting expert opinions on topical issues. All of that aside, here is the thing to remember about opening up to a therapist, and I'm sure someone will agree with me on this. DON'T do it just because you feel pressured to do so. Don't feel like it's what's expected of you either. Only do it when you feel that you're ready to accept yourself, and only when you're ready to let others accept you for you. On another forum or thread, I have mentioned that I can count on one hand the number of people that I've told, both alive and are now otherwise deceased. This short list includes a few friends, a few relatives, and some of my immediate family members. One of whom, possibly in a drunken stupor rage, or just being spiteful (or perhaps both) decided in his idiot infinite stupidity to blab to other family relatives and friends about my diaper fetish, more specifically about how I enjoy the sight of women wearing diapers. I stress the word "women", because I feel if I said "girl", to me it implies they're underage or a minor. Something I'm extremely careful in wording since how you word your responses can and does tend to alert people, especially counselors & therapists & psychiatric doctors and specialists, that something very wrong and illegal has transpired even if there was no illegal activity, or thoughts of harming children have ever occurred. So, that's reason one (of many) to not just dive head first into letting your therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, etc know about your "ABDL"ism. Here's another one. Some people are unfortunately wired to believe in such societal constructs as "normalcy" or normal relative to the status quo with regards to social acceptance, social responsibility, socially acceptable values & behavior. On another thread/forum, I began a thread about who has it worse being an AB/DL whether for sexual pleasure reasons or otherwise, whether male, female, hetero- or homo- sexual, etc, and one of the valid points out of that discussion is that for some generations, men are expected to be "manly" and women to be "feminine", which I think in today's worldview is that such crap is nonsense. If a man chooses to be an effeminate gay man, what right do any of us have to judge him? Or likewise, if a woman wants to put on the full gear for playing football, cleats and all, or wants to "wear the pants" in a relationship of any kind, what right does anyone have to dictate what that woman can and/or can't do in her life? It turns out that unless you're aiming to intentionally harm or worse another human being through any of those efforts, you're doing nothing wrong. The same is true for our ABDL fetish and community. Unless you're harming children, and I sincerely hope you are not, and I have no reason to believe that you would either, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. However, like all good robot therapists/counseling specialists/psychologists/psychiatrists/etc, they want to find some fault with what you do in private. Something that tells them you wear diapers or engage in ABDL-ism for reasons that involve harming either yourself or others potentially. While you may not be doing anything of the sort, the mental health specialists in that profession are not always in the know about ABDL. Much less are they aware that it's a) NOT a crime to enjoy diapers for sexual or nonsexual reasons, and not harming people or yourself in any way, and c) are largely unaware that ABDL-ism is in no way, shape or form involving children to any degree. It's unfortunately a largely misunderstood, and often mischaracterized behavior. Often, mental health professionals mistake it for behavior that is putting yourself or others at risk. At risk for what is what I don't know for sure. What I do know is that they really do listen to you about your issues, and are carefully listening for "trigger" words. Words that they've been trained to spot, and be cautious about, and if they feel it is a sign of perhaps either now, or have in the past, having planned to harm someone, they are required by law to notify law enforcement officials either at the state or federal level depending on perceived severity or threat risk. Does this mean you should forego telling your therapist EVER? No, but it should be taken into consideration how you eventually do tell. I've read that "coming out" as being in the ABDL world is quite similar to coming out as being gay. Unless you've done something incredibly wrong and stupid, there's nothing wrong with the sexuality, or in this case the ABDL lifestyle fetish. But if it DOES involve knowing about someone being harmed as a result of your behavior, or your actions, then that's a problem. For what it's worth, and I'm being sincere here, 99% of the time, most if not all of the ABDL community have NEVER once harmed a person regardless of age. We've (I believe) all advocated for stronger policies on combatting child abuse or sex assault, trafficking, etc. We've (I believe) all made it vehemently clear that we do not condone such actions against children, women, nor the LGBTQ community in general. Anyway, the bottom line is it's up to you, and how well you feel comfortable in discussing such things with him or her. I have yet to discuss my diaper fetish with my therapist, but I may have to if I'm going to move forward with asking a young woman out on a date fairly soon. The irony is that this young woman is among the few people (friends or family) who are aware of my diaper fetish. As far as I know, she's not told a soul beyond our almost nightly conversations. But I'm still heavily hesitant to tell my therapist. I know eventually I'll have to bring it up, and how it relates to my future dating prospects. It will really "depend" (pun intended) on how you feel, and when you feel it's appropriate for discussion. It may even be worth it to practice with a mirror to see your facial expressions as you talk aloud about it. Remember that therapists are trained to listen to how you word your statements, and evaluate body language. Are you relaxed? Are you anxious? Does it seem to make you uncomfortable to talk about that topic? Just some things to think about. Once again, I may have to bring up this topic soon with my therapist if I want to move forward with getting into relationships with women. Hope that helps! -James T. Knight 2018 "Diapered Firechicken" -James T. Knight 2018 "Don't forget to wiggle your diaper butt at least once a day!" "Be diapered & proud of it!" "Accidents happen! That's why we are allowed to buy ADULT diapers!!" Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

To be fair, I was taught that women were fragile things, and sometimes weak. I grew up among many female cousins, two of which know my diaper fetish that stemmed from my bedwetter days, and I've come to learn thru experience that women are anything BUT weak or fragile, much less frail. That's just how my late father and late uncles, including the remaining surviving uncles made women out to be. My late father was the worst offender having mistreated my mother and had been highly abusive to her, to my older brother and myself. None of which was ever forgivable, and yet my mother kept taking him back after swearing to have been a "changed man". But that's neither here nor there. The fact is he said a lot of crappy things about women based on his marriage (and later divorce) with my mother who is now disabled. It was based largely on what he said against what I observed both with my mother and my female cousins that taught me to disregard much of what he said. That's where (and when) I was taught that women were creatures that required either too much attention, or required lots of money, or clothes, or shoes, or whatever. This is what I've kept saying in other comments that as children, we don't always have the best role models in our own families to draw life lessons from. Which is why I hid my diaper thing from my dad. I think he would not have ever understood why, because he wouldn't want to believe he had a lot to do with my feeling ashamed that I was allegedly (told) a very unique child in that regard. Both my parents are actually guilty of it, because neither felt it was possible to undo their chaotic damage and take me to a doctor about my problems. So, yeah, I mean I get it that we all have different upbringings, and the different "why" reasons we are part of the ABDL community, but this is also the reason I started this thread. To help one another undo the damage caused by years of psychological trauma and abuse by our childhood years done by either friends, family, or in my case, both! Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk Yeah, I have difficulty sometimes with that too, the "why me" and "why can't I just be... regular! I think that sometimes it is harder for a guy in our respective age groups. We're often taught, in error, that if you like it too much, that it makes you a (forgive the term) "a sissy"! As I stated in another reply, the whole shame of being told I was the only known bedwetter in the whole world at 10 or even 12yrs old didn't help matters either. I was prepared to live with it the rest of my life until my mother, finally and thankfully, took me to see a doctor to get "cured". But I would still walk down the baby aisles in stores, still feeling like I was meant to be in them. Nowadays, it's become kind of a necessity to wear adult diapers since my medications are messing with my intestines, my bladder, my bowels, and my sphincter. So, now if someone were to catch me in one, I have now a legitimate reason why. Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

To be fair, I will be 40 next year, and I'm part of the "sandwich generation" where some of us grew up without internet or social media networks. So, I still remember days when a boy even as young as 10 was expected to act like a young adult far before his time. And yes, I was into wearing diapers for fun even as I was a bedwetter at the time. For many reasons, I kind of felt I deserved it even though I was told by a urologist later on that it was NEVER at all my fault. Only two of my female cousins knew about this. One died recently, and as far as I know, she took it to her grave about my ABDL-fetish. Whether she told her daughters is something I hope never happened. This is why I believe it to be harder for a guy to be a DL or an AB. We've been bred to act manly, but because of the Mom brigade of the late 80's and early 90's that shut down a lot of cartoon animated violence, we young boys of that era were forced very quickly to grow up quite fast. Perhaps that's why I also feel it is far harder for a guy in my age range. We're told to be adults too early without the proper emotional education along the way. So, when someone thinks of a diaper lover man, society thinks in their minds "Ew, he must be sick or a pervert! Maybe he wants to harm children!" Of course, we all know this to be untrue, and largely inaccurate. But that's not what society depends (pun intended) on. They depend on what they feel rather than what is based in fact. Whereas a girl or woman diaper lover is considered adorable, cute, playful even, and is considered by society as someone who needs attention, help with a medical problem, etc Though. Once more, this isn't a thread about comparisons as someone else pointed out. I want this to be an open, honest discussion on why we feel these things at all, and maybe we can learn from each other how to avoid certain stereotyping of the gender roles. That was my intent behind this thread. Not a "pissing contest" as it were. -JTK 2018 Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

My first experience in an adult diaper was when I was in my senior year of high school, and one evening several nights after I just had major eye surgery for glaucoma, I got my first sample pack from a supplier, and I decided to put one on. Afterwards I fell asleep, and the next morning I awoke forgetting I was diapered. My mother knocked thinking I was still sleeping. When she said I needed to get ready for school, I told her it was a Saturday, therefore no school. So, she closed my door, and then I went back to sleep. Or at least I did after I thought I had to fart. Turns out it wasn't a fart. I ended up going back to sleep, and then later took off the dirty diaper and disposed of it when no one else was home. Thankfully! Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Again, no wrong answers. Just expressing an opinion. Nothing wrong with that. Or is there? I just think some groups do have it hard being who they are. Whether a part of the AB/DL community or otherwise, life is difficult, and some of us want to discuss it rather than let it bottle up. Maybe even learn from one another how to cope better with the challenges of our lives. Is that so bad a thing to be doing? Or is it just you that doesn't like it that someone wants to explore such topics? Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

So, I want to write a blog post that I'll eventually share on Twitter. What is everyone's idea of which gender or sex has the harder time being a diaper lover? Men or women? Hetero-, homo-, bi-, or trans- sexual folks? No wrong answers here. What I think, personally, is that men have the harder time being a DL. First, men are expected to be tough as dictated by our societal constructs. Second, if a man wears a diaper whether anyone knows or otherwise, whether he shows it or otherwise, he's considered either very ill (either mentally or physically), a psychopath, or has issues dealing with adulthood for whatever reason. In my opinion, for whatever it may be worth, I think women have it easier being a DL. I think it's somewhat more acceptable for girls to be wearing diapers. Before you begin writing a rage comment reply to this post, please consider that this is just an observational point. Let me explain. As opposed to a man wearing diapers, either for medical need or for fun, when women wear diapers, society is less harsh on the woman DL. I would dare to say that society even accepts her diaper wearing habit far easier than a guy, believing it to be cute, adorable, or has no preconceived notions that she is either sick, or a psychopath. She is, in my view which could be wrong as I'm willing to concede, given far more leeway doing such things even if it's for sexual reasons. Whereas men get labeled a pervert, a sick man, possibly emotionally abusive or sexually inept, maybe even psychologically incapable of adulthood in society's mindset. Women, for the most part, don't often get those labels. They're not seen as potential sexual assault predators, or perverted sexual deviants. But again. I digress, I don't know any of this for sure. Which is why I believe it is important to explore why society tends to mislabel men, and misinterpret our DL-ing behaviors as being a disease or a mental health problem. I also believe that society takes a far less harsh view when it comes to a DL woman. As for being heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc, it creates a whole other dynamic of life for a diaper lover. Or even if one of us is single, married, or have other kinds of relationships with men and/or women. Essentially, before we even have met someone, regardless if they're an AB or DL, or both, or have other kinks, society has given us many false preconceived notions about each other. So much so nowadays that we have to go thru a dozen layers of protection, no pun intended, just to get to know people on a personal level, and that's BEFORE we let potential life partners become intimate with us, and get to know AB/DL at all. So, what say you? If you had to make an assessment, based upon empirical evidence, what gender, sexuality, relationship status, etc has the hardest time being an AB or DL? I really believe it's men, but I could be wrong, as always. -The Knight Owl 2018 Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Thank you. Hopefully I won't need to use your open message door, but I'm glad to have that support. [emoji846][emoji41][emoji106][emoji108][emoji868] Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

Thank you all for your kind responses. I'm sure I'll have little difficulty, but some people like my disabled mother whom I currently live with will most likely be helping. Although she is aware of my diaper fetish, I don't know how much she remembers since she claims to have short term memory problems. That could be problematic if she decides in her infinite wisdom to start snooping into boxes labeled incorrectly to misdirect her. She tends to check how well I pack. Hopefully, though, it'll be a nice transition into my own place where, among other things, I can wear diapers as much or as little as I want, and be able to practice my piano & guitar lessons, and do my college class assignments in peace. Again. Thank you all for your kind responses. Most kind. Sincerely, -JTK 2018 Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

I finally reach my goal of getting down to a reasonable "diaper weight" when my favorite adult diapers are a comfortable fit, but I'm now out of them. I have them on order, but now I might be moving soon, making them difficult to hide. D*Oh! Has anyone had this happen where you've ordered diapers, but then realize you might be moving soon? How do you avoid nosy move helpers snooping into your drawers? Any good tips would be helpful. -JTK - Knight Tyme Birdie 2018 Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

I'm not exactly new, but I want to try to make new friends & reconnect with the ABDL community once more. I don't wish to go into details about why I've been laying low since my last interactions, but recent events in my life have compelled me to try & break free from living so secluded in my introversion. Not a lot to tell. I'm a 38yr old man, I'm going to college. Although, I've been off and on taking time off due to health problems surrounding my vision impairment plus other disabilities & problem that I don't wish to go into details here since it could potentially identify me. Let's just say that a) I've been successful in my goals to live healthier, and I'll hopefully see my lifelong dream come true in a sense fairly soon, and I've managed to get down to my "diaper weight" where I can comfortably fit into my favorite adult diapers. Most of my non-ABDL hobbies are pretty standard. I love writing, reading, playing video games on both my Xbox One & Playstation 4 console systems. I enjoy watching TV & movies, and once in a while, I dabble with learning to play piano. I have plans to take guitar lessons as well as learn to play the drums. Also on my "life to do" list is to learn to speak Spanish, French, German, and maybe a little Russian plus a few fictional languages like Klingon. Yes. This means I'm a Trek fan, but I also [emoji173] Star Wars, Stargate, and many more science fiction franchises such as Marvel's Avengers & DC Comics' Justice League. I'm still looking for my Ms. Right who could potentially be Mrs. Right Now in my future. My hope is to find a woman who is as open minded as me. For the record, I have two female friends in real life/real world who do know about my diaper fetish, and still are my friends whom I talk to regularly online. And before anyone asks, one of which I know personally, and have met her more than one in a face to face meeting. All of them plus two of my female cousins that I have told have all been wonderfully understanding, and have also been extremely careful to not blab about my diaper fetish thing. What do I hope to do here? Again, I just want to reconnect with the ABDL community, meet new friends, & share some of my positive experiences both with & without diapers. Since going to college, in my 30's, it's been extremely pleasant, and I have some great friends that I've met along the way that have shown me that being me isn't inherently a bad thing. Just highly misunderstood. Anyway, that's me in a nutshell since my last interactions with this community. Thanks in advance for reading this! -James T. Knight 2018 "The Knight Owl" & "The Knight Tyme Birdie" Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk