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duluthdiapers

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Everything posted by duluthdiapers

  1. It is such a difficult question to answer. I would say that there is a deep, very deep-seated emotional need to be in diapers and mess my pants. My mom first tired to potty-train me at the age of 13 months. She then tried again at the age of 2. And then finally a few months later, she put me back in diapers and rubber pants and kept me in diapers until the age of 5. All because I kept messing my pants. I was around 10 or 11 when I first diapered myself in secret and messed my pants far past my potty-training. I would describe the need to mess my diapers as a "hunger" or a "primal urge" which never goes away. The emotional release that comes from messing my diapers is beyond belief. Is it a "scat fetish?" No, but the need to reenact my years of infancy and poopy diaper bliss is always there.
  2. I have thought that from time to time.? But for an "AB" song, I would propose "Bless the child" by Nightwish. "Gone back in time to bless the child."
  3. "The Funeral March" by Sirenia Life is a tragic masqueradeA bitter serenade, a feeble paradeLife is the funeral of dreamsThere is no way to redeemAll we lost in this sceneLife is just a funeral marchGrievance and despair at large
  4. Yes, I like to keep the mess in the back. I just feel more babyish with the poop spreading across my bottom. ?
  5. I attended an antique tractor show in St. Charles, Minnesota yesterday, and I wrote a blog about it complete with lots of good pictures. Here is the link: https://duluthdiapers.blog/2019/08/25/the-2019-tractor-show/
  6. Yes, but it wasn't for bed-wetting: it was for pooping my pants. My mom had warned me that if I kept "pooping my pants like a baby" then she was going to put me back in diapers and rubber pants "just like a baby." But of course, "warnings" mean very little to a toddler or later a little boy who wasn't ready to give up his diapers. So I found myself back in diapers and rubber pants and my mom kept me in diapers and rubber pants until I was 5 years old. ?
  7. Its better now that I have no contact with her. I wrote a blog post yesterday about my mom. Here is it: https://duluthdiapers.blog/2019/08/11/is-my-mom-a-psychopath/
  8. No, I was born to a mother who despised me from the start and told me so through both words and actions. I watched her almost beat my younger brother to death one day, which brought back memories of when I was around 2 and she was cleaning the blood off of my face after she had nearly killed me. In retrospect, I believe that is why I have a fantasy of being a baby again in the care of a loving Mommy: It's something I never had. Finally, in 2001, I got the courage to break off all contact with her and be done with my dysfunctional family life. I haven't seen or spoken to my mother in almost 20 years. My real father left us when I was a baby. He drank himself to death at the age of 37. My step-father was just as abusive as my mom. He did 8 years in prison for bank robbery, and died of a stroke a few years later after he got out of prison. Good riddance. I hope he burns in Hell. ?
  9. OMG. That is amazing! Yeah, that's what I want. ?
  10. Yes, they are useful.... and at the age of 60, they are becoming more and more useful. ? There are not a lot of "great things" about aging, excepting for maybe senior discounts and over 55 housing communities with no loud children. However, the wearing of diapers and our love of being in diapers, takes on a whole new element as you age. No one even blinks when they see a grey-haired man with the telltale outline of a thick diaper under his pants. And the best part is that as you age, you have more and more friends your age in diapers, and everyone understands what a blessing diapers are. ? https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  11. My own Grandma, my "real" Grandma died at the age of 90 in 2015. (I am 60 years old.) So one of the things that I have always longed to do was to talk to my Grandma and tell her of my love of diapers and how I want to be a baby again with her changing my poopy pants like she did when I was little. Sadly, I will never get that chance again. However, I recently found a "Phone Grandma" who I can call (for a small fee) and talk to her about my poopy diapers and regression fantasies. I LOVE GRANDMA FRANKIE. You can talk to her about anything, including pooping your pants and she is very understanding of our ABDL lifestyle. In fact, she told me that she has been diapering ABDLs (over the phone) for many years now. Honestly, she is the Grandma of my dreams. (A "young" Grandma too, at the age of 53) A actually wrote a blog post on my blog that goes into more detail. If you love Grandmas who love to change poopy diapers, check out my blog post about her.? https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/2019/04/03/a-call-with-grandma-frankie/
  12. This may be a rumor or an April fool's joke, but the mentality behind it does exist in many people. Sadly. 4 years ago, my landlord came into my (her) apt. when I was at work and took pictures of my adult diapers, rubber pants, stuffed toys. Actually, she took pics of my whole bedroom because I had decorated it like a baby's nursery. She then emailed these pics, in a mass email to my company's office staff, including my boss, the bookkeeper, our event manager, etc. and told them that I was a "pedophile" and the stuffed animals, cloth diapers and rubber pants "proved it." No, I wasn't fired, but I left my job 2 weeks later because everyone treated me differently and things were not the same. The moral of this story? There are many, many people out there who think we are, "sick, perverse, mentally ill, pedophiles, sickos, perverts, etc." It would not shock me if some states (especially those states in the deep South) were to make a "registry" of ABDLs. No, wearing diapers for pleasure is not illegal...... yet. ? https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  13. Welcome Mary Beth. It's so nice to see another "seasoned" baby on the site. I'm always looking to connect with those senior ABDLs over 55 who remember the cloth diaper era of the 1950s and ?1960s. https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  14. I have been "all over the map" on this topic and on the topic of faith in general. I have been (and on most days) I still am a believer. However, I have been at one time a "Born-Again Christian", a Mormon, an agnostic, and an atheist. Yet one book (not the Bible) got me to see that I was asking the wrong questions about faith. I highly recommend that you read "The Life of Pi." No other "secular" book will strengthen your faith and lead you to ask the "right questions." From the book, The Life of Pi. Investigators: "Which story is true?" Pi: "Which one did you like better?" Investigators: "Well, I suppose the one with animals." Pi: "So it is with God." https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  15. My mom used to have a home daycare for infants and toddlers when I was growing up and she always used the most babyish, innocent, "G-rated words for the bodily functions of babies in diapers. ? For passing gas = "Tooting" or "Toots." For pee = "Soaking" or "wet." For poop = "Filling the pants" or "Messing the pants." I love my mom! ? https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  16. I'm 60 years old: a lot of people my age are in diapers so its really not an issue. ? https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  17. I'd say a 2 or 3 for me. I like a soft "gassy" poop where I fill my diaper with lots of embarrassing toots and "filling sounds" as my diaper fills up. Those kinds of poops really recreate for me the infant experience of being a 6 to 9 month-old noisily filling my pants in the living room as my mom watches. ? https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/
  18. Here is a personal diaper story from my past...... https://stillindiapers.wordpress.com/2019/03/24/when-my-mom-put-me-back-in-diapers/
  19. "Fade Away" by Dokken from the Broken Bones album 2012.
  20. Let's see...... humm....... which bands do I love? ? Just a sample.
  21. Oh my goodness! I LOVE to sit in a warm, full, poopy dydee! ? I'm usually kneeling on my hands and knees, pretending that I'm a baby in a playpen when I fill my pants (diapers). As feel the seat of my diaper and fill and expand with warm poop, I wait until I have finished with my "big job" and then I sit down. The very moment of sitting down in my warm, full poopy diaper is pure bliss. I love to feel the warm poop mash and spread all over by bottom and up my crack. It is hard to explain, but in some ways the very act of pooping my pants and sitting in a poopy diaper awakens long forgotten memories with me. It is as if, every time I pooped my pants as a baby was stored in my subconscious memory and then those infantile memories come to the surface with I sit in a poopy diaper. So, to answer your question, within 2 to 4 minutes of filling my pants, I am sitting down in my poopy diaper feeling so blissful and euphoric. ?
  22. I guess I have to disagree with most (but not everyone) here in their replies. I believe, based upon my own experiences with diapers and how people view them is that our "fetish" (if you want to call it that) is hated and feared because it involves going to the bathroom in our pants; long past the age of potty training. Let's face it, even if you do not use diapers for their intended purpose, that is in fact, their intended purpose: to contain the pee and poop in our "pants." When I was growing up in the 1960s, the era of cloth diapers and rubber pants, there was an "attitude" or "view" about "going to the bathroom in your pants." If a toddler wasn't potty trained by the age of two, either the child or the parents were viewed suspiciously: like something was wrong with them. Diapers and rubber pants (what babies wear) were often used as punishment on older children who misbehaved or acted "too big for their britches." The line that separated the worlds of infancy (babyhood) and that of being a "big boy or girl" was diapers and rubber pants. Phrases like, "He's still in diapers" or "She still goes in her pants" were meant to put a child (or adult) in their place by reminding the person that they had to be diapered and that they still "go in their pants." I believe this, more than all the things listed in this discussion, are the real reasons we and our "fetish" are viewed with contempt and fear. Think about it. EVERY HUMAN BEING was in diapers at one time, peeing and pooping their pants in public (at church, home, malls, etc) when they were babies. And these people who judge us, and fear us, well, they all peed and pooped their pants with abandon when they were infants: grunting and tooting, and filling their diapers for their mothers to change. Isn't that really everyone's fear? A "normal" person's fear? When we openly wear or talk about diapers, 99% of all the "normal" people out there KNOW that at one time, they too were in diapers peeing and pooping their pants. We, I think, remind them of their own time spent in diapers peeing and pooping their pants for the first 2 to 4 years of their life. Maybe I'm wrong, but that is my opinion.
  23. My favorite poopy are those that are semi-sold, but very gassy with lots of embarrassing tooting sounds. In my mind's eye, I am an infant or toddler again, in the 1950s, in thick cloth diapers and rubber pants, playing in my playpen in the living room. When I feel that awful fullness in my tummy that begins to cramp, I begin to pass gas (toot) uncontrollably, as a large mass of semi-soft, semi-sold poop pushes past my butt cheeks, and starts to fill up the back of my diaper. I am unable to stop it or control it as my bottom toots again and an even bigger mass of semi-solid poop pushes my butt cheeks apart and covers my bottom with a warm, semi-soft mass of poop that is filling up the back of my diaper. It smells like a sewer or a stockyard, as my infant body automatically pushes out another gassy load of poop into the seat of my pants (diapers.) The pungent telltale odor of poop wafts up from my pants and hangs in the air as I feel my mother lifting up the back of my shirt and gently pulling back my diaper and rubber pants to confirm her suspicions. "Shooo-wee!" She says, seeing the large soft brown mess that has reached the top of my butt crack and filled the back of my diaper. My mother and her friends were debating if I was just tooting or doing "something else" in my pants. "Yep, he messed his britches." She tells them, seeing the poop in my diaper. After checking the back of my diaper, and confirming her suspicions, my mother sits me back down in my playpen, as the warm, soft poop spreads across my bottom and spreads to my private parts. I sit there in my playpen, happily playing in a warm poopy diaper as my mother goes to the nursery to get diapering supplies to change me. That, is my favorite poopy and fantasy. ?
  24. My first conscious memory of pooping my pants when I was "out" of diapers happened when I was around 2 or 2 1/2. My mother was potty-training me and had taken me out of diapers and put me in "big-boy" training pants. We were getting ready to go the store, my mom had dressed me in training pants and a pair of jeans made for toddlers. When I felt the urge to poop, instead of telling my mom and trying to use the potty, I went behind a door to hide and thoroughly loaded my training pants with poop. I then went back out and played with my toys for a while while my mom finished getting ready to go to the store. I remember sitting in my poopy training pants and jeans and how good it felt to poop my pants again like I had been doing since I was born and put into diapers. When my mom came into the living room, she smelled it right away and she flipped out in a rage and took me to the bathroom to clean the poop off. Once I was clean again, she took me to her bedroom where she had put away my cloth diapers, rubber pants, diaper pins and baby powder. (We shared a room at my grandma's house.) I remember she laid me down on her bed naked from the waist down and said, quote; "If you want to act like a baby, then I'll put you back in diapers and treat you like a baby. Then you can poop your pants all you want!" This was not an idle threat. This was not just a burst of rage from my mother. My mom proceeded to powder my bottom with baby powder and diaper me with my cloth diapers and rubber pants. My mom then kept me in diapers and rubber pants until I was around 5 years old. During that time in diapers, I vividly remember many times of pooping my pants, including at daycare, where they put me in the 2 year-old room because even though I was 4 and 5, I was still in diapers unlike the other 4 and 5 year-olds. Then, at the age of 6 I was "out" of diapers but I had an intense desire to return to diapers and infancy. I knew then, at the age of 6 that I was "different" from the other kids because I wanted to be a baby again, in diapers, pooping my pants.
  25. For me, pooping my pants (diapers) is TIME-TRAVEL. When I'm in cloth diapers and rubber pants, and I feel that familiar rumble in my tummy, my mind takes me back to 1959, to my mom's house where I'm a 9 to 14 month-old baby again playing in the living room. As my the pressure builds inside my tummy, I uncontrollably let lose a flurry of embarrassing toots that draws my mother's attention to me, as I stand in my playpen on the verge of a massive bowel movement in my pants. "Uh, oh," my mother playfully says, as she turns her attention to me. "Somebody's toot'n up a storm. I think somebody's gonna fill their britches." I then experience intense feelings of embarrassment as a very large, soft, gassy load pushes past my butt-cheeks and fills the back of my diaper. My mother always called it, "filling your britches" or "doing something in your pants" and I am indeed "filling my pants" as the massive load of soft poop completely fills up the back of my diapers expanding the seat of my rubber baby pants as I involuntarily grunt and toot in front of my mother. Before she gets the diapering supplies ready, she "confirms her suspicions" with a peek down the back of my pants. As I helplessly fill the seat of cloth diaper with this massive soft warm load, my mother leans over me and gently pulls back my diapers and rubber pants to make sure it's not just gas. Again, feelings of intense embarrassment as my mother looks down the back of my diapers and sees a large mass of soft poop in the back of my diapers. "Shooo-wee!" She says, commenting on both the mess in my pants and the odor wafting up all around. "I thought you were busy doing something in your britches. Shoooo! Somebody's doing a big job for mommy." Yes, for me, pooping my pants is a form of remembering, or time-travel. The embarrassment, the smell, the sensation of feeling a large soft load in the seat of my diaper, remember my mom; it all takes me back in time.
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