Kapelmeister

I am a 60ish male, married and living in New England. Although my wife of many years knows about my diaper desires she really doesn’t want any part of it and I don’t force the issue.

As to how my interest in diapers developed I grew up with a double whammy. Not only was I a bedwetter but also soiled my underpants constantly. This went on well into my early teens and even beyond that I was always embarrassed by the stains in the seat of my undies. Intermittent bouts of bedwetting continued throughout high-school, college and beyond.

Early on the bedwetting didn’t seem to be a big deal to my mom or anyone else in the family for the matter. The poopy pants on the other hand became a very big bone of contention for my mother. I became so ashamed of my accidents that I’d hide my underpants all over the house. I remember one time stuffing them between the cushions of sofa in the living room. Not a wise move on my part but I was no older than 5 or 6 at the time but I remember walking into the room and my mom saying that something smelled and called me over. I can remember this being one of many times I was stood in front of her while she lowered my pants, turned me around, pulled back the waist band of my white (but stained) briefs to inspect for accidents. It was shortly after this that she stuck her hand between the cushions and found my hidden underpants. You can imagine what might have happened next after grabbing a surprise hand full of poopy pants. That whole inspection of underpants is now a big part of my fantasy life. Hated it then, love it now – go figure.

I think the most memorable incident for me occurred more around 8 years old, although I’m not quite sure. It was summer time, I was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a striped polo shirt. It’s amazing how I can remember that and not what I wore to work a couple days ago. Anyway, I came into the house and complained to my mother that my bum hurt. She took me into her bedroom, dropped my pants and undies to discover that my pants had been soiled for so long that it was caked on the cloth and hardened. I basically had diaper rash. This pushed her over the top. She laid me on the bed and scolded me as I cried that I didn’t mean to do it (its true, I rarely knew it was happening). She returned with one of my night diapers and commanded that I life my bum. I sobbed as she pulled it under and pinned it on. She pulled on my shorts and told me to go out to play. I remember two more things. One, I voiced my concern that my friends would be able to tell I was wearing diapers, to which she replied that they couldn’t tell. Then as I was walking past the bathroom I had a sudden urge to poop. I started jumping up and down doing the potty dance and begging her to take the diaper off so I could use the potty. She did and I did. Now I don’t remember for sure if I was still made to wear the diaper for the rest of the day or not but it was a traumatic experience for me and I’m sure it’s one of the biggest influence on my fetish.

The reason for my soiling is called encopresis. Its caused by extreme constipation and withholding. I would often be caught hiding behind a chair or behind a door, face turning red and trying to keep my “cheeks” together to hold the mass inside. Of course this only made the constipation, soiling and probably the bedwetting worse. My mother resorted to enemas to empty me out but to me they all seemed to be like a punishment. It never seemed medical to me. For the most part they must have been, but I received so many after having been discovered with dirty pants that sometimes I think they were used to punish me for having an accident.

In short, most, if not all of my bathroom experiences from the time I was potty trained until I was a teen were full of shame, fear, helplessness, and failures. All of which play into my AB or Adult Kid persona and desires.

I also have discovered that some of my fantasies are as a caretaker. Haven’t explored that too much but they are there.

Anyway, I do actually have a life outside of diapers. Some of my interests include, golf, music, travel, dining, and Disney World. I hope to be able to contribute to the community and look forward to chatting with some of you.

- Kappy