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DiaperedShyBoy

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Everything posted by DiaperedShyBoy

  1. I may not have had a relationship before, but I can tell that you loved her very much. I am SO sorry that you had to go through this, and i really hope you can hang on and get better.
  2. Thank you both for the advice. But actually one reason i haven't been able to experiment myself is that i don't have the money to buy the stuff, or even a private place to experiment at. I still live with my parents unfortunately, and we are a family of 6 living in a tiny single wide mobile home, so yeah, it makes a lot of things quite difficult.
  3. I have had these thoughts for a long time, pretty much ever since i found out about the ab/dl community. I am not really sure if i am a diaper lover, ab, or sissy, because i have not had any relationships where i could explore any of these things more. I used to say that i am just a diaper lover, because i was too shy to admit that being babied is also very appealing to me. I have also given being a sissy some thought too, and being dressed up, and teased by a mommy or other things seems very appealing also, i feel embarrassed just coming out with this right now, but i wanted to ask if anyone can give me some advice as to how to explore these sides of me more. I believe the easiest way is to explore those sides with someone I'm comfortable with, but i don't have anyone in my life like that right now, so is there any other way i can explore these sides? Thank you in advance for any advice :3
  4. Yeah, I'm the same way in the forums, i can say pretty much anything i want, but when i am private messaging i have to have something in common or i won't know how to even start a conversation with them. I saw on your profile that you like Japanese culture, that's something we have in common, because they are just so interesting to me. I can't even watch anime in English anymore, because i like their language so much better than ours. I would say that i love playing music also because i have had band class before, and i loved it, but now i can't afford any instruments so i haven't played any for the longest time. I would love to get back into it though, most likely playing violin or piano.
  5. You seem like an awesome person, Glad to have you here!
  6. @Mia-Mia I couldn't have explained my feelings about relationships better myself, you pretty much put exactly how i feel about it into words. I'm very grateful that you understand how crippling social anxiety is, and honestly when people say i should fix myself first, it just makes me feel horrible, like I'm not worthy. Don't worry about offending me with that, in fact, it made me feel quite a bit better reading that. I have tried making friends online, but somehow it always ends up dying down, either i run out of things to talk about and don't know what to say next, or they just stop talking to me for some reason, and i always treat everyone with respect as long as they do. We can be friends if you want to, but i can't guarantee I'll always have something interesting to talk about xD
  7. I went to therapy for 5 months now, because of my social anxiety, co-dependency. The therapist was not much help, he did not address my emotional damage from years of emotional abuse from my father, and he just went on to tell me that i just need to get a job, or go to college, which i feel too stressed to even think about doing right now. I even tried what he told me, and searched for a job, i did not find a job i was capable of doing, and every time i tried, the anxiety, and stress only got worse. Now my parents are getting a divorce 3 days before Christmas, and my father absolutely refuses to pay child support, because he says that he has provided for them enough, just by taking them to school, which is a ridiculously small amount of support. Since he refuses to pay child support we are going to have to go to court, which is absolutely terrifying to me because of my social anxiety. He also is trying to get custody of my little twin sisters who are both 13, which is causing even more stress, and anxiety because i know he will not emotionally support them, or make sure they are eating right, and i care deeply for my sisters. I have also been trying to find a relationship, because i just can't deny the feeling that i have, that i would be much happier, and maybe even be able to deal with this better, because i would have emotional support. Yet every time i try, people tell me that i need to get therapy and "Fix," myself first before i even think about a relationship. To me, that would be denying my feelings, because it is very important to me to find someone who i will love, and will love me just as much. It's so important to me that i actually cannot stop thinking about it, not even for a day, i don't know why this is, but all i know is i can't distract myself enough to not worry about it, because it's that important to me. Also, i have a ton of pressure on me, because we are very poor right now, we are barely paying our bills, and almost had our electricity and gas shut off, and my parents are expecting me to get a job because i am the only one old enough, and not physically disabled, other than my father, which is looking for a job right now. My older sister which is 21 years old, is always on her computer, every single day, all day, and when my mom tried to suggest going to therapy for the issues that she has, she just flipped out, saying she doesn't even want to try getting help for herself. When i heard that, i just felt so angry, and depressed, because i have been giving it my all to try getting better, and get a job. It's like she doesn't even know how stressed i am about it, or just doesn't care. It is just very, very stressful to know that you are basically the only hope of supporting for the family, and then your only sibling that could possibly help, turns their back on you, probably without even realizing it. And she is older than me by almost 3 years. I am so stressed from all of this, that if my parents even get into a small argument, i get paralyzed from anxiety, and i can't even breath correctly, and then i get really weak, and exhausted afterward. I sometime even start shivering, and can't stop until i calm down. Honestly, i don't even know how much more i can take, or if I'm going to collapse and die from the stress some day. I don't know what it will take to get better anymore. I'm just very confused, and overwhelmed, yet I'm only 19 years old, and i haven't even been able to get on with my life because of all this. I'm sorry if this is a bit much, or long, but it is all the truth.
  8. I actually completely agree that it is not "Normal," in social terms that is a fact, but what really upsets me is people act like it's very seriously abnormal, like there is something really wrong with us, when in reality that's just how we ended up, I just don't like the labels they use like "Freaks," or "Pedophiles," because it is not even close to that.
  9. I tried telling a girl online about me being a diaper lover, it didn't work out too well. She started saying it wasn't normal at first, which is a completely ridiculous thing to say, because there is no "Normal," in this world, every single person on this planet is different in multiple ways, "Normal," is just a label that people use for what they THINK is normal, which it isn't because that's just a made up word by society. After i tell her that, she goes on to say that it's an unhealthy way to cope with stress, riiiiiiiight, because wearing a piece of freaking cloth that helps me deal with all kinds of stress and sleep issues, is unhealthy. Some people just go way too far with this, It is HARMLESS compared to other fetishes out there, there are some people who like torture, and other extreme things, compared to that, this is completely harmless. It's just so dumb how it's something so tiny, and people freak out and act like we're pedophiles, or some other overly judgemental thing. When i see someone calling a diaper lover a freak, or saying they need "help," it drives me crazy, they act like we are psychotic because we want to wear diapers, when just like the word "Normal," is made up, so are "Diapers," it's just a made up piece of cloth that people can wear, so why the hell does it matter so much? It's just so ridiculous that they think we need therapy, just because we want to wear diapers, there is much worse things out there that people should be focused on rather than something so minuscule.
  10. I would have to choose adult diapers. I just like being able to adjust it myself, to make it more of a tight, secure, fit. And i love the thickness of adult diapers, while pull-ups are almost the same as wearing underwear, they just don't feel as good.
  11. I have only wet the bed once before, and it was when my sister put my hand in a bowl of warm water (Yes it works. ) I just wish i was a bed wetter because then i would have to wear diapers every night, and i would have an excuse to tell people xD Does anyone else ever feel like they want to be reliant on diapers just so they have to wear more often?
  12. I only told my parents, one sister, and my best friend. I have tried to tell a couple girls who weren't into it, and it didn't go too well.
  13. I say Partner-Diapers-Sex, Although diapers are a huge part of my life, and coping, I believe that having a partner is more important, because I've always felt better
  14. I am a Diaper lover right now, but i am willing to explore my AB side with the right person. : P
  15. I wear whenever i can, which is usually at night when i sleep, and sometimes during the day if i don't think people will notice.
  16. My waist size is 28 because i lost a lot of weight recently, the diapers that fit me best are size small, and I love having a thick, bulky diaper.
  17. I first tried stealing a diaper from daycare when i was around 7 or 8, back then i didn't know what i was doing, but diapers still gave me the same comfortable, safe, feeling.
  18. I only wear in public if i feel like people won't notice, i mostly sleep in them because they help me sleep.
  19. Pretty much ever since i learned how to speak i have been emotionally abused by my "father," he is what people call a Narcissist, and i mean he is one completely. He is the biggest hypocrite i have ever known in my life, he always makes my mom cry, stresses her out to the max, and then he also blames almost all of her problems and his problems on her. All throughout my childhood my mother was always depressed and crying her eyes out, and i was always the one with her cheering her up and spending time with her, not my father, he never gave her any emotional support whatsoever, and if he cuddled with her, he would time it to 15 minutes, and most of the time he wouldn't even do it, what kind of monster does that to their own wife. They used to always get into fights when i was young about his alcohol, or something family related, ever since i small he always tried to avoid any family issues, and if we tried to talk with him about it, he would say whatever he wanted and then he says "End of story," and we get to say little to nothing. He acts like he is a king ruling over us and he is the only one with feelings. If we ever tell him how he makes us feel, he either blames us, or he gets extremely pissed and makes us feel even worse. I'm the only one in my family that he has gotten physical with, probably because I'm the son, but i never tried hitting him or anything, but he pushes me around and says "What are you going to do about it," like he's trying to provoke me, yet I'm not as stupid as he is. One time when i was late picking up my sisters from after school program, and it was only one minute late, he flipped out on me and went into scold mode for about 30 minutes, I got tired of it, and i said "What's the big deal, i was only one minute late," And he completely lost it, walk over to me like some crazed freak, rose his arm as high as he could, and smacked me as hard as he could, all i remember is not being able to move because i was so terrified, and i didn't even feel it, i was just paralyzed. Now, my parents are getting divorced, and we can't move away because we can't afford to, so we are stuck with him. When we told him that we were going to try to move, he told my mom that she cannot take the twins because child support will come after him, so he wants to fucking separate my sisters from the rest of their family, BECAUSE OF MONEY, I never wanted to punch him in his stupid face more than i did that day. He also told my sister she was smart, because she said she likes boy's better girls, yeah, that's a good idea, teach your FEMALE daughter to be sexist to her own gender, how effing stupid can you be? A couple of days ago, he started trying to blame my mom for money that was missing, and i had enough of it, I absolutely lost it, like i had never done before, I screamed so loud, and i was so mad at him, that i still do not even remember what i said to him, Nobody in my entire life has ever got me that mad, or even close to it, except for him. Now, i am so damaged from the stress he has caused in my life, i have Social Anxiety, Depression, and Co-dependency. My adrenal glands are also worn out, and now i get anxiety because of it, and i even have panic attacks (Which literally makes you file like your going to die) I am struggling to get a job, because I have almost no independence, or confidence. If i wanted to really say everything, i would be typing for days, and I'm not exaggerating. I am so worn out, and so overwhelmed, I just don't know what the next step is anymore.
  20. Hey, everybody, I'm in a little city called Homeland, just looking for people who are into the same fetish, maybe a playmate if i trust you enough. Also i am straight, just putting that there so you know beforehand.
  21. I've seen Soul eater, Bleach, Hunter x Hunter, One piece, i pretty much like all the action ones xD
  22. Hi peoples, i am an 18 year old diaper lover, i have not been able to explore my AB side, because i still live with my family. I am very shy, but i am also very kind, hyperactive, honest, and funny. I have severe social anxiety which i am trying to get past by being more social. Some stuff i like to do would include, Video games, Anime, Bike riding, Going to the beach, pretty much anything you can have fun with. I am looking forward to meeting some nice new people o3o
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