OAB-Need2Pee

I want to thank everyone who has so kindly shared their experiences with me on this post. It is very comforting to know that other folks have similar experiences and that the choices I am making, others have made too. Thank you all for your support

Well, here goes. I haven’t posted on here very much and this is something I’ve been thinking about for many years. I’m hoping I can put this concept to words accurately with the goal of maybe resonating with other folks who have had similar experiences. I have never had the best relationship with my bladder. I have consistently suffered the symptoms of an overactive bladder with occasional incontinence (day and night). Over the years, I have tried to manage this with a variety of tactics including; managing fluids, limiting bladder irritants, respecting a regular bathroom routine, and a variety of absorbent products (pull-ups / diapers) for when management isn’t possible / practical. For almost 30 years, I have made use of pull-ups / diapers for coping with my overactive bladder situation. I use them during the day for any activity that might require long range bladder control and I wear them to bed because I’ve never managed to become reliably dry at night. However, this puts me in this strange grey area where if I really work at it, I can manage in underwear at times, but there are also times where management is impossible / impractical. It is this grey area that I wish to address in this post. Living between continence and incontinence has been difficult because I don’t fit neatly into one side or the other. Sure, I can get to the store and back in underwear, but if I make an extra stop on the way, I’m in big trouble and might not make it. I would like to propose the term ‘incontin-ish’ to characterize my situation and I would like to know if other people have similar experiences. I have struggled in my past feeling deeply stigmatized by my inability to cope in long range bladder situations, with my overnight issues, and having to wear pull-ups / diapers at times when I would really rather not. I know it has impacted my social life in a negative way (but I’m working on that), and there is no doubt it has impacted my mental health (and I’m working on that too). All that said, I think the most difficult part of being ‘incontin-ish’ is the idea that, “If I just tried harder, I could be dryer”, or that somehow when I wear diapers, I’m ‘giving up’ in some way. But, if I am wearing underwear, I spend a lot of my energy wondering if I need to pee, where the next bathroom is, can I make it to the bathroom, what if I don’t make it to the bathroom, what is my fluid intake for the day . . .. and on and on and on. This loop that plays constantly in my head is not productive, so I sometimes wear a diaper just to enjoy life in a normal way and not live in the constant “Am I going to have an accident” loop. I’m interested in hearing from other people out there who have experiences between continence and incontinence. How did you handle it in your past? How do you manage it now? Has it impacted your mental health? What have been your struggles, or conversely, what have been your own personal triumphs?

Wow - Spark - It is like you have read my mind. I have only recently stumbled upon information RE autism and it has left me asking the same questions you have just posed. I love your theory. I really identify with the part where you say that you need "offline" time. I too

I dressed as Toad from Mario Bros once for a party

I had no idea there were so many people out there that have these issues too! This site is a wealth of information and support!