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tammie2

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tammie2 last won the day on February 17 2018

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  1. 34. Two months later Jenny was no more ready to potty train than she was during her walk with Millie. Angie and, eventually, Rose began to share diaper duty for the big baby to lessen the load for Millie, who in some ways felt responsible for putting Jenny on this track but didn’t anticipate the burden it would create. Jenny continued to care for Jamie in any way she could. Rose never got tired of watching her change Jamie’s diaper while she carried a load in the rear of her own, or of playing the game of “guess who” when they detected a dirty diaper. Jamie eventually showed a preference for being bottle fed and Jenny was more than happy to ease her mommy’s burden of milk-laden breasts as Jamie weaned. Over time, Rose’s milk production actually increased to meet the needs of her older daughter. In the meantime, Jenny’s brightened state of mind increased the productivity on her game to the point where she was ready to demonstrate it to the company that had paid her for first rights. She announced her good news between bites of mashed peas at dinner one night. “It means I need to fly to San Francisco to meet with them and to give a live demo,” she said. “And if they like it, to discuss terms for rights and distribution. They want to meet as soon as I can book a flight.” All three women were excited for her, but also shared the same concern. Millie was the one to voice it. “Jenny, first of all, congratulations, that’s great news. But I think I speak for all of us when I say that I’m not sure you’re ready to set out on your own. Based on recent experience, there’s no way you can regain control of either bladder or bowels in such a short time, and you’ve gotten so dependent on all of us for feeding, changing, and overall just making it through the day that I’m not sure you should go there all alone. You’re about as independent as a preschooler.” Jenny had been so excited at the prospect of making this huge step that she hadn’t considered the finer points of the trip. “Let me work on that,” she said before turning the conversation to whether anyone at the table had been to San Francisco. Twenty minutes later, after making a call, she found Millie in her bedroom. “I told them I wanted to bring someone with me and they agreed to pay for two flights and a hotel room for two people for two nights. I know it would be too much for Mommy to come with me with the baby, and Angie has her business to run here. Would you come with me?” After overcoming her initial surprise at Jenny’s request, it took Millie a microsecond to respond. She could use a break from the routine, even if it still meant changing smelly diapers. Besides, she felt protective of Jenny and felt it her duty to do whatever she could to prevent any embarrassing episodes at this most important moment in her career. “Of course, I’d be happy to accompany you,” she told Jenny. “Just let me know when we’re going.” Rose was disappointed that she wouldn’t be the one to make the trip, but knew she wasn’t yet ready to travel with two babies in diapers. That didn’t stop her from lecturing Millie. “You take good care of my little girl,” she said sternly, “and make sure she calls me at least three times a day.” Millie solemnly swore to do so even as she laughed inside at the absurdity of Rose’s perception of Jenny as her true child, but in truth all three of them were increasingly seeing Jenny as an actual young girl. She was starting to recognize the challenges of presenting Jenny as Jamie in an actual business setting. She sought out Angie for advice. “Clearly the biggest concern is her lack of potty training,” Angie mused. “No matter how good that game is, if she soils herself during her presentation that’ll affect how it comes out. Even the odor of a wet diaper carries risks. Then there’s also feeding to worry about. Did she say how long she’ll be meeting with them?” “According to Jenny, they’re going to begin at 1:00 p.m. with her visual demonstration of game highlights, whatever that entails. That’s apparently the first hurdle. If that goes well, they confab about general terms of an agreement with the company’s legal department, but the actual contract will be emailed to her later, so it shouldn’t be too long a conference. This is new to Jenny, too, but her best guess is that they’d be done by 5:00.” “That’s workable.” Angie sounded relieved. “And that schedule definitely leaves time for you to clean her out before the first meeting. Oh, don’t make that face, it’s better than the alternative. Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Let’s start making our list.” Other than an intense stare at his crotch and raised eyebrows after checking his gender on his ID, a TSA agent passed the pair through security and Millie and Jenny had no issue getting checked in and to their gate. They still had over an hour before boarding, so Millie pulled her aside to a corner of the waiting area. “I need to check you,” she said as she pulled up the back of Jenny’s dress and felt her diaper. Jenny cringed in embarrassment at the curious stares from other passengers. “Just as I thought, this diaper won’t last until we get to the hotel and we don’t want you leaking on the seat of the airplane or in the Uber. C’mon, we need to find somewhere to change you.” They walked up and down the concourse looking for a family bathroom without success. “Good thing we made you wear a dress and did your hair, Jenny,” Millie said. “We don’t have any choice but to use the ladies’ room. Just stay quiet and we’ll get this done as quickly as possible. As luck would have it, the bathroom they entered was jammed with travelers but had an adjoining mother’s room, so Millie ushered Jenny inside the special sanctum. It was a small room made more intimate by a nursing mother in a rocking chair and another using the only changing table. There was no room to change Jenny on the floor, so they had to wait. The mother changing her toddler noticed them. “Sorry,” she said apologetically. “I’m almost done. I thought by the time he turned three I wouldn’t have to do this anymore, but here I am. At this rate his prom date will need to bring a diaper bag along.” “Tell me about it,” Millie said as she nodded in Jenny’s direction. The woman looked astonished, then embarrassed, and quickly taped up her son’s diaper. “See, Freddie,” she told the boy as she lifted him off the changing table, “this girl still pees herself at her age and needs to be changed in front of other people. Is that what you want?” Millie bit her tongue and quickly put Jenny into a fresh diaper, blocking her midsection from the breastfeeding woman with her body. When they got back to the gate, Jenny felt that every eye was on her, judging her. Fortunately it wasn’t long before they boarded the plane, and she could focus on the day ahead. It was late by the time they finally arrived. Thankfully the company had sprung for one of the nicer hotels in the downtown area and the check-in process went fast and smooth. Jenny headed for one of the two queen beds but was headed off by Millie. “Not so fast, I need to check something.” She lifted the bed cover and sheet and ran her hand along the length of the bed. “It’s this one,” she said. “I called ahead.” Jenny could feel the plastic sheet as she sat down. Just the act of being on her bed brought on a sense of overwhelming fatigue. “I think I’ll turn in early,” she said. “Me too,” Millie said, “We have a busy day tomorrow. Let’s get you changed and to bed where you can drink your bottle. I’ll set the alarm.” The alarm was loud and in Jamie’s view way too early. She heard Millie roll out of bed and go into the bathroom, burying her head under a pillow as she made repeated trips and wishing she would just let her sleep. No such luck. All too soon she was at her bedside telling her to get up. “Good, no leaks,” she commented as she ran her hand under Jenny’s midsection. “Come on, baby, time to get up and get you prepped for the day.” Jamie had no idea what Millie had in mind but staggered behind her as she walked to the bathroom. The waterproof pad that was normally stationed beneath the potty chair at home was spread out over the floor next to the toilet and a bulging enema bag hung from the towel rack. Jamie stopped still, frozen in place. “This is the only way Angie and I could think of to assure that you wouldn’t soil yourself during your meeting this afternoon,” she explained. “Since you can’t control your bowels like the adult you’ll be pretending to be, the next best thing is to make sure that there’s nothing in you to poop out. Now no dawdling, let me get that diaper off of you and lie down on the mat on your left side.” Jamie understood Millie’s logic but that didn’t make her any more enthusiastic about what was to come. As she assumed the position, she heard Millie snap on a latex glove and uncap a container. She jumped as she felt a well-lubricated finger go up her rear, which was quickly replaced by a nozzle. She heard Millie turn on the bathroom fan. “I’m going to start the flow now, Jenny,” Millie said. “Try to hold it in as best you can for as long as you can. It might help not to think about what’s happening back there and to focus on more pleasant thoughts. Daydream about being at Rose’s breast. After I pull the nozzle out, resist pottying. If you can’t hold it anymore, let me know and I’ll help you onto the toilet.” It took three tries before Jenny was cleaned out to Millie’s satisfaction. Both had the same thought, that it had been months since the last time Jenny had sat on an adult’s toilet seat, but neither expressed it. Millie quickly got Jenny diapered after expelling the last round of fluid. Millie suggested that Jenny hold off on eating the food that they brought along until closer to lunch time to minimize the amount of solids in her intestines. After feeding her a bottle, Millie read a book while Jenny prepared for her presentation and fidgeted. Around 11:30 Millie announce that it was time to get ready. She fed Jenny quickly, changed her diaper, added a booster and plastic panties, then brought out a pair of pants and a nice shirt to dress her in. “It’s going to take some effort to start calling you Jamie again, Jenny,” she said. “I hope I don’t screw up.” Great, Jenny thought, one more thing to worry about. Her male clothing felt foreign to her and it felt weird to walk in her old shoes. She paced back and forth until the hotel desk called to say that a car arrived for them. Taking deep breaths, the pair headed downstairs, each with their own thoughts. Jenny was focused on performing well for the company. Millie’s only wish was that Jenny’s diaper held up until they were done. The gaming company’s office took up an entire floor in a high rise, the reception area looking more like that of a law firm than a business devoted to entertainment. Framed pictures of characters from some of their more successful offerings crowded the walls. Even Millie recognized a couple of them. After a short wait, a tall man with a broad smile, dressed way more casually than the surroundings seemed to demand, approached them. “Jamie? I’m Kurt Simmons, head of development. I have to say that based on the game you put out on your own, all of us here are excited to see what you’ve come up with as a follow-up. We think of our gaming partners as family, and we hope to adopt you as one of our own.” His attempt at putting Jamie at ease fell flat, but Jamie was still able to respond appropriately and to introduce Millie. After a short exchange of the requisite small talk Simmons suggested they get right to the reason they were here and head to the theater, which was a smaller version of a movie theater with about fifty seats and a large screen. Jamie hooked up with the IT guy that was waiting for them and immediately became more comfortable being able to talk about what she needed for the technical setup. About fifteen minutes later, she was poised with a controller in hand ready to start. By that time about twenty other employees had filtered in and found seats. For the next ninety minutes, Millie watched the screen in fascination as lifelike characters filled the screen in an incredibly imaginative fantasy world. Her respect for Jenny grew with each passing minute, especially as she narrated the various possibilities and the seemingly unlimited variations that could be played. Jenny skillfully addressed questions from the people assembled there, most of them asking about things that to Millie sounded like they were speaking a different language. As the demonstration went on, even Millie could sense the electricity in the room. When the lights finally came up, vigorous applause erupted from the assembled audience and Simmons abandoned any pretense of neutrality both with his expression and words of praise. Millie smiled. If Jenny knows what she’s doing, she thought, she should triple whatever figure she had in mind coming into the demo. A few employees hung back as the rest filtered out and spoke with Jenny, who then approached Millie. “Millie, I’m sorry but now I need to go into a meeting that’s more about contracts, and legalities, and I’m not even sure what else, and this is something I need to do on my own. It might take a little while but if you don’t mind hanging around, I’ll catch up with you when we’re done.” Millie knew she had no choice, but it was hard to abandon Jenny, who despite what she just saw she still viewed as a child who needed her protection. She consented, but not before taking a discreet glance at Jenny’s crotch and a sniff of the air. So far so good she thought, then she retraced her steps to the reception area to call Angie and tell her about the baby genius staying with them. The meeting took longer than the demonstration, and it was close to 5:00 by the time Jenny emerged. Millie’s instinct was to first look at her diaper area, where she observed a slight sag but probably nothing that anyone not knowing what was there would notice. Still, a diaper change back at the hotel was probably in order. She then looked Jenny in the eye and was rewarded with a smile and slight nod, signaling that things had gone well. “I’ll tell you more later,” Jenny said in a happy tone Millie had never heard coming from her mouth before, “but right now they want to celebrate and take us out to dinner.” Millie’s immediate reaction was of a mild panic. “Are you sure you can last?” she whispered. “I have a spare diaper in my purse.” Jenny looked around to make sure no one was nearby to overhear. “Yeah, I think the booster is doing its job and I haven’t had that much to drink. Besides, there’s no way I can break away right now.” Millie and Jenny joined a pack of people waiting at the front desk. It seemed like word of Jenny’s success had spread and everyone wanted to join them for dinner. Soon they found themselves in a limousine with Simmons, the company President and CEO, and a few others. A line of cabs followed them. The rest of the evening was a joyful blur of activity. Millie and Jenny were split up as they ate, as all of the company’s higherups wanted to be near the golden boy, or girl as Millie saw it. She watched carefully as plates of food were placed before Jenny, who looked overwhelmed. Millie realized it had been a long time since Jenny had eaten anything that hadn’t passed through the Vitamix first. She was tempted to intercede and ask the restaurant staff to blend it or at least cut it up before serving. Worse, everyone was drinking. Mixed drinks, wine, and beer flowed freely. Millie couldn’t monitor Jenny’s alcohol intake but figured even before she regressed, she was probably a lightweight. She was about to check up on her charge when a highly inebriated woman sat down beside her. “You’re a lucky lady,” she told Millie, slurring her words. “That kid is going places. He’s brilliant. His game is brilliant from what I hear. Innovative, fun, challenging. Maybe the best that’s ever been. It does things that no one else has thought of before. It’ll keep even the best gamers in the world intrigued for weeks as they work their way through it. Then the best part? You play it again as a different character and it brings you to totally new worlds. Same universe but completely different game. Don’t let him slip away, girl.” With that the woman left Millie’s side, probably to go throw up somewhere Millie thought. She was glad to have a few minutes alone among the drunken pandemonium to try to reconcile the Jenny she thought she knew with the Jamie that the company sees as a rising star in a crowded field of geniuses. And from what she can tell, soon to be a very wealthy little girl. This group really knows how to party, she thought, but she needed to think about Jenny’s well-being. She’d been in the same diaper for close to ten hours now and had consumed food and drink that would be wreaking havoc with her insides soon. She managed to fight through the crowd to come up behind Jenny, where she pretended to stumble into her in order to conduct a quick external diaper check. She felt a light dampness in her crotch. The diaper was starting to leak. After whispering in Jenny’s ear, and offering the excuse of an early flight the next morning, which was true, it still took them another forty minutes to run the gamut of everyone who wanted a piece of Jenny before they left. It was a miracle they made it outside and into the cab without anyone noticing the dark patches spreading down both her legs. Jenny was in no shape to do anything but crash into bed once they got back to the hotel room. Millie had to strip and diaper her while she was mostly unconscious, then had the unpleasant chore of changing two stinky diapers during the night as Jenny’s digestive system rebelled against the prior evening’s food and libations. As they left for the airport that morning, she debated whether to take the dirty diapers with her, but opted instead to bury them in the bathroom trash and leave a generous tip for the cleaning crew. Jenny and Millie made it home without further incident where they were met with a joyous greeting from both Angie and Rose as if they’d been gone for months. After a long breastfeed and a nap, Jenny filled them in on details of her meeting. Millie beamed, Angie gushed, and Rose simply gave her a bear hug and a kiss. It was good to be home. 35. Over the next several weeks, Jenny split her time between finding an attorney to finalize the contract with the company and a trustworthy financial advisor to manage his upcoming wealth, as well as tweaking the game to get it into its final form. She also woke up in the middle of one night with a fully formed idea for the next one in her head and spent the rest of the night typing notes so that she wouldn’t forget. Her bond with both Rose and Jenny grew even closer as she shared every spare moment she wasn’t working with them, even being Rose’s go-to babysitter when she had reason to leave the house. At all other times, though, she started regressing away from the adult behaviors she’d been granted after the baby was born. Nursing from Rose grew into a four- or five-time per day necessity for both of them, her continued diapering necessitated that she use the playpen whenever she was downstairs after a couple of unfortunate leaks, and she often unconsciously found herself crawling when walking would have been easier and faster. Rose, meanwhile, was becoming more confident in her skills as a mother and took on more of the responsibility of caring for Jenny. As much as she loved Jamie, who she couldn’t imagine life without, her times with Jenny at her breast and the playful diaper changes lightened her mood and brought on a warm ache in her heart. If anyone asked her which child was her favorite, she wouldn’t have been able to answer. Angie, on the other hand, was troubled. She needed to have a discussion with both Rose and Jenny but a part of her didn’t want to disrupt what she had to admit was an almost idyllic situation. She was terribly fond of them both, so what she had to do was going to be difficult. She procrastinated for a month, then six weeks, then finally got the nerve to do what she needed to do. Without enthusiasm, she called a family meeting. She asked Millie to attend for emotional support. Jenny, as usual, showed up soggy and was strapped into the highchair. “Let me start by saying how much I’ve enjoyed having both of you here,” she began, “and watching the changes in each of you over the past several months has been remarkable. But unfortunately, this home is a business and I need to run it as one. Jenny, your lease expires soon and it was never intended to extend beyond the term in the contract. Rose, over the past six weeks or so you’ve shown yourself more than capable of taking care of Jamie on your own. I’ve had a lot of calls recently and actually have a waiting list of pregnant women needing a place to stay. I’m afraid I need both of your rooms.” Her announcement was met with a stunned silence. Everyone at the table on one level knew that they couldn’t stay forever, but the happiness they’d found with their current situation had made them complacent. Jenny was the first to break the silence. “Don’t look so sad, Angie,” she said. “Deep down I knew this time would come. You gave me a place to stay when no one else would and in doing so gave me the first true home I ever had. I’ll always be grateful, and I hope you won’t mind if I visit once in a while. Practically speaking, within the next few days I’ll be getting a wire into my bank account that’ll make finding another place to stay easy. I may even buy a home of my own.” Rose wasn’t as assured that she’d be okay but tried to put up a good front. “I want to thank you as well, you and everybody at this table. And in the highchair,” she added with a giggle. “I’ll be fine. My needs are simple and I can find work to pay the bills. I’m hoping you can give me a few months to find an apartment and a job.” Angie of course acceded, and the meeting broke up soon afterward. Jenny started to head to her room but did an about face and followed Rose into hers. “What’s the matter, baby? Do you need a change?” Rose asked as he entered. “No...well, yes, but it can wait. Can we talk for a minute?” Rose immediately heard the tension in Jenny’s voice and grew concerned. “Sure, baby girl, let me put Jamie down and we can cuddle in your crib while you tell me what’s on your mind.” Once they were settled, it took a moment for Jenny to find the right words to get started but she still fumbled at the beginning. “Rose...no, Mommy...I was wondering. I mean, feel free to say no but I want to ask. I, um, you know that I did okay with my game. Better than okay, actually. With the initial payment from the gaming company and based on industry gossip presales are already through the roof. I’ll be set for life even if I never create another thing, which won’t happen though because I like to stay busy. So maybe if you want, I mean maybe if you need to, you could...” Jenny panicked and her long pause was too long for Rose. “What is it you’re trying to say, baby? Or what do you want to ask me?” Jenny found her courage to continue but her voice still waivered. “I was wondering if you’d like to move in with me. I’ll have the space and you need a place to stay, and maybe you’d like to kind of make it permanent. I don’t think I want to live without you.” Tears streamed down Rose’s face. “Are you asking me to marry you, baby Jenny?” she stammered. “Maybe, no, I mean yeah,” Jenny said. “Unless—” “Just stop there, little one. I can’t imagine living without you either. So my answer is yes, but there need to be a few conditions. Hear me out, okay? “My love for you may not be quite what you’re thinking,” she continued. “I love you as my baby. As my baby girl. So if we do this, and if we wed, you’ll be my wife and a second mother to Jamie. And to everybody not connected to your job, you’ll be Jenny. You’ll do what it takes to keep growing those pretty boobies of yours. Except for as long as we can, when we go out you’ll be my young daughter in little girl dresses and pigtails and Mary Jane shoes. You’ll be Jamie’s older sister. “But not the older sister forever. Jamie will eventually get potty trained and start eating food she can chew, and give up the bottle, and go to school. But if we’re to be together, you’ll always need your diaper and maybe never use the potty again. We’ll have to see. And I’ll nurse you as long as I have milk, otherwise it’ll be a bottle. And get used to the highchair. “I’m sure I’ll refine my conditions over time, but for now, Jenny, know that I love you as much as any one mother can love her child and I want to be together forever. Can you live with that?” Jenny couldn’t speak but didn’t need to. The newly engaged couple held each other until Rose broke the embrace. “I guess it’s a good thing that I’m used to the smell of your diaper, baby girl, but for right now let’s get you changed and maybe give you a little boobie. Then we can go downstairs to tell Angie and Millie. Maybe Angie can help me plan your new nursery.” But neither one of them moved. They laid down side by side, hugging each other tightly, until they heard their baby cry.
  2. 33. Even after she disposed of the world’s dirtiest diaper, and despite all of the car windows being lowered, the reek remained as they pair drove home. The ride seemed longer than it actually was to both of them, Millie because of the smell and Jamie because he couldn’t wait to be reunited with his mommy. The fact that there was another infant in the house now that would demand most of her attention hadn’t quite set in yet. All he could think about was being back in her arms. Rose’s eyes lit up when she saw Jenny crawling hurriedly toward her as she sat comfortably in the living room with Baby Jamie nestled in her arms. “Take a peek, Jenny,” she whispered, “at the new addition to our family. This is Jamie. I named her after a boy I used to know but he’s been gone for awhile now. Jenny took his place, and it’ll always be Jenny from here on.” Rose’s comment didn’t seem to register with Jamie, but Angie and Millie exchanged glances. There was a conversation that needed to take place but they’d wait until Jamie was otherwise occupied. Jamie stared at the baby, unsure what to make of her. She started to fuss and emit little cries. Rose already knew what that meant. She brought Baby Jamie to her breast and started to nurse. She saw Big Jamie’s devastated expression. “I’m sorry, Jenny, but Jamie needs my milk now. Maybe once she gives up nursing it can be your turn again. Don’t worry, Mommy still loves you and this little girl will never change that.” Jamie didn’t leave Rose’s side as the baby continued to nurse. Before Rose could switch her to the other breast, she fell asleep. “Oh dear,” Rose uttered. “Angie, would you mind bringing Jamie upstairs to finish her nap? I think my other daughter can help me out with some unfinished business.” As Angie gathered up the tiny infant, Rose helped Jenny get into position with her left breast at his mouth. Jamie needed no encouragement and eagerly settled in. Rose sighed with pleasure and closed her eyes as he suckled. Eventually Jamie’s eyes, too, began to get heavy. He’d gotten very little sleep at daycare. “Let me get Jenny into her crib,” Millie volunteered. “Then we need to talk.” A few minutes later Angie, Millie, and Rose were alone together. Angie and Millie looked uncomfortably at each other wondering how to broach the subject. Angie finally took the lead. “Um, Rose,” she said, “we need to talk about Jenny’s situation here now. She agreed to act as a baby at our request—insistence, really—but on the condition that it would be temporary, to give you practice as a mom to an infant until the real thing came along. I think we all agree that she played the role magnificently and the skills you learned in caring for her have carried over brilliantly to little Jamie. But we have a concern.” Angie paused, giving Millie a chance to carry the conversation forward. “We both think that it’s only fair to allow Jenny to grow up now that the baby’s here. Granted, she had issues making it to the potty before she became your baby, so the transition back to adulthood might take longer in some areas than others, but in our opinion you need to start weaning her off of her dependency on you. Literally in the case of breastfeeding. It’s time to give her the chance to reassume her position as a man. Rose was shocked. In her eyes, Jenny was a baby girl. Her baby girl and no one else. She was unable to remember what she was like, how she acted, what her voice sounded like, before she became Jenny’s mother. She’d bonded to her baby, now they wanted to take that away from her? She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Angie sensed her hesitancy. “You need to devote ninety-nine percent of your energy to your newborn, Rose. Leave it to Millie and myself to help Jenny step back into the world of grownups.” By now Rose had tears running down both cheeks. She realized how fatigued she was, physically and emotionally. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind a voice was telling her that if she tried to care for both babies, neither one would get the attention they needed. She had to choose, and there really was no choice. Still, she wouldn’t give up without at least a small fight. “Okay, right, I understand. I’ll go along on a couple of conditions,” she told the women. “You can try to toilet train her, and let her walk instead of crawl, and maybe use adult words if she remembers any, but at least for now she still uses the highchair and eats the pureed foods she’s been eating and I get to feed her.” Angie had been expecting more pushback, so at least for the time being this seemed like a good compromise. “Fair enough, but she gets to use a cup or a glass and drink adult drinks. No more bottles or formula. And if she says she wants to sit in a chair and eat what the rest of us eat, that shows she’s ready for it.” “Fine,” Rose said. “But one more thing. It’s too confusing to have two Jamies in the house and I despise ‘Big Jamie’ and ‘Little Jamie.’ She continues to be Jenny, and you keep giving her those supplements.” Millie looked on at the exchange and the thought occurred to her that Jamie...Big Jamie...ought to be a part of this conversation. Leaving him out was essentially admitting that he was still a young child who needed others to make decisions for him. She decided to keep that thought to herself for the moment. Once the final compromise seemed to have been brokered, Millie volunteered to break the news to Jenny. She assumed he’d be thrilled to get some of his adult behaviors back but less than excited about retaining certain infantile traits such as the diapers and baby food. She was only half right. Jamie felt blindsided by what Millie had just told him and needed a few moments to reflect on what it would mean to him, and more importantly how it would affect his relationship with his mommy. If Millie expected him to do cartwheels at being told he could transition out of diapers she was surprised at his equivocation. After several moments of silence, she felt the need to elicit a response. “Jamie? Jenny? Is everything okay? I just told you that you won’t need to piss and shit your pants anymore, I guess I expected maybe jubilation on your part? Or at least a smile?” Jamie was also trying to process why he wasn’t feeling thrilled and decided to puzzle it out verbally in the hope that expressing how he was feeling would help him understand it, or maybe solicit some useful insight from Millie. “I don’t know. It’s just that, you know, before I came to live here I spent a lot of time by myself and was okay with that because any attention I did receive was the kind I didn’t want. Being a loner didn’t seem like such a bad thing compared to the alternative. But then here, with you and Angie and then Mommy...er, Rose...it almost seems like you like me, and maybe you like me better as Baby Jenny than as grownup Jamie.” His disclosure in just a few sentences hit Millie hard, and all of a sudden a million thoughts struck her at the same time and she understood, maybe even more so than Jamie himself. She looked back at the way Angie and she had treated Jamie since he moved in, and it was clear that once he was in diapers, he was often the center of their attention, mostly in an encouraging and a good way, whereas before he was simply a tenant who was there to add to the coffers. Millie realized with guilt how she’d initially treated him as an annoyance. Even if she didn’t say so, he sensed it. Diapers changed that. In some way, being treated like a child gave him security and a feeling of being loved in a way that their adult interactions never did. Then along came Rose. Pretty, outgoing, smart, but troubled. She found in Jamie that being needed was something she craved, and this feeling manifested itself in the form of affection toward him. As for Jamie, he could sense her feelings and found in the way she cared for him a sense of love that he’d never had, at least as an adult. This was especially true with the intimacy of diaper changes and bottle or breast feedings, and to a lesser extent being fed while secured in a highchair. For the first time in his life Jamie felt needed, felt affection, and felt that all of the attention focused on him arose from a good place. He had a crush on Rose, not in a sexual way, but as an intensely weird but valid sense that he belonged to her, not as a partner but as her child. And that was about to be taken away from him. Millie felt her cheeks getting wet and looked up at Jamie, who was also sobbing. She moved over to him, put her arms around him, and they cried together. “Now I understand,” Millie said softly. “You’re afraid that Rose won’t love you anymore, or that all three of us will go back to shunning you if you’re forced to grow up and reassume your adult self. Jamie, trust me that won’t happen. Here’s my suggestion. From now on, at least in this household, you’ll be Jenny in name and in behavior. One of the girls, and if you want you can be treated as if you’re eight years old or so, even in public. That way you can talk and walk, no more babbling and crawling. If you like, though, you can still retain some babyish ways. I’m sure Rose would still love to feed you mush in the highchair and maybe an occasional bottle. Would you like that?” Jamie nodded as he leaned into Millie’s shoulder. She held him tight then continued. “But, little girl, it is also time for you to give potty training another chance. Rose has her hands full with Jamie’s wet and poopy diapers, so the task of changing yours falls to yours truly. I’d appreciate it if we can get you into pullups sooner rather than later. I understand that it’ll take you a long time to grow out of your bedwetting, so nighttime diapers can stay indefinitely. I’ll even ask your mommy if she’d like to be the one to tape you up every night. How does that sound, little Miss Pissy Pants?” Jenny giggled and again nodded her head. She could live with that. Over the next few weeks, Jenny tried her best to adapt to her more mature role as a little girl. She spent as much time as possible with Rose, even taking on the role as Mommy’s helper and playing with Jamie in the playpen, changing her diapers, and reading her stories as long as they didn’t contain too many big words. Rose overcame her own hesitation to allow Baby Jenny to grow up even a little as she grew to appreciate her help with the baby. She was touched by Jenny’s affection for her sister, and little Jamie seemed to smile whenever Jenny was nearby. She took up Millie’s suggestion of still diapering Jenny at night after Jamie was in bed, and that became their special time just like it was once before. Jamie would be asleep, the other two women would be downstairs or in their rooms getting ready for bed, so they could have alone time to snuggle, or read books, or just hold each other in Jenny’s crib. It wasn’t long before Rose once again offered Jenny her breast and her body adapted, always seeming to have enough milk for her at the end of the day. They agreed these nocturnal nursing sessions would be their little secret. Everything was just perfect. Everything except Jenny’s potty training. Millie was diligent in charting when Jenny had a bowel movement or when she seemed to pee most often, but the sessions on the dreaded potty chair were unsuccessful and both Millie and Jenny were getting frustrated, especially after Jenny made a huge puddle seconds after being released from the potty chair. “Okay, Jenny,” Millie finally said one day. “We’re going to try an experiment. We’ll dress you up the same as any five- or six-year-old and instead of diapers we’ll put you in panties. Then we’ll take the ten-minute walk down to the convenience store. If you stay dry, I’ll buy you a treat. Then we’ll walk home. The total trip should take only thirty minutes or so. Maybe staying clean and dry like a big girl will motivate you to do better and make some progress here at home.” Jenny was nervous but excited. She really was trying and wasn’t happy that she couldn’t remaster such a basic and essential skill. She always thought, for as long as she was in diapers, that she could just flip a switch and go back to full daytime continence. It scared her that this didn’t turn out to be the case. This was her chance to turn the tide. Jenny felt happy in her simple light green cotton dress with a rainbow across the chest. The tights felt strange pulled up over a pair of panties instead of a diaper, but she was enjoying the lighter feeling. She felt free and so grownup. Her hair was in braids with pink bows and Millie let her carry a purse, although the only thing inside was a pacifier. “Just in case you get nervous,” Millie had told her. “You should learn to skip,” Millie said as they strolled down the sidewalk, then laughed as Jenny tried her best, almost tripping in the process. “Okay, it’s a work in progress.” They passed several people along the way, and no one gave a second glance at Jenny except to smile kindly at her. The time passed quickly and before they knew it they were at the door of the shop. Before entering, Millie pulled Jenny off to the side, pulled up the hem of her dress, and felt her panties. “Very good, Jenny,” she said. “Dry as a bone. I had to check to see if you deserved a treat.” They entered the store and walked straight back to the freezer section, where Jenny pleaded for a cherry Popsicle. Millie had her doubts. “I don’t know. We didn’t bring a bib,” a comment that drew a knowing nod from a woman nearby. In the end Jenny won out and they walked hand-in-hand up to the cashier. The man in front of them had just finished paying when Jenny felt a dampness making its way down her left leg. She dropped the hand holding Millie and moved it to her crotch, which drew Millie’s attention. “Oh, no,” Millie said. She threw a bill down on the counter and without waiting for change pulled Jenny out of the store. By the time they were outside, streams of urine were running down Jenny’s tights, forming a puddle on the sidewalk just outside the entrance. Millie looked down at Jenny with disappointed eyes. “It’s not your fault, Jenny,” she told the upset girl. “I shouldn’t have pushed you before you were ready. It’s pretty clear that you’re not ready for the potty yet. Let’s get you home and into a nice dry diaper. We can try again in a month or two.” The pair walked home, a trip that seemed to take much, much longer than the walk there. This time, no passersby smiled at the cute little girl. I'll be bringing this story to a conclusion tomorrow. I hope you've enjoyed the ride.
  3. 32. The next few weeks passed without incident. Rose continued to shower Jenny with her unbridled affections as she felt their mother-daughter bond intensify, even as she also instinctively knew that her time to add another member to the family was growing near. Jamie noticed a difference in her attitude toward him, as if a switch had been flipped so that in her eyes he was less of a practice doll and more of an actual infant. He should have found this morphing of their relationship worrisome but didn’t. On the contrary, he actually liked the additional and more intimate attention, even if it was maternal instead of romantic. For some unknown reason, the more babified he became in Rose’s eyes, the more productive he was in his work. He didn’t even try to reason this out, fearing that looking for its cause would at the same time dull its effectiveness. A month ago he’d been behind where he needed to be in the development of the game. Now he was not only ahead, but his creativity was blossoming and the game was moving in new directions that were both innovative and exciting. At this rate, he’d be ready to submit a sample to the gaming company ahead of schedule. One morning as Rose and Jamie cuddled in his crib after an extended nursing session, both mother and baby felt a puddle growing beneath them. Jamie had long ago lost the ability to know when he had to pee so he assumed that he’d just flooded his diaper so much that it leaked. Rose knew better and immediately called out for Angie and Millie. Angie was the first to arrive. “My water broke,” Rose told her with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Millie was walking through the door just as Rose made her announcement and immediately turned around, saying that she’d go get the bag that Rose had had packed for over a week. Angie made a call to the hospital. Angie helped Millie out of the crib, raising the bars back up and trapping Jamie inside as she did so. Without explanation, she led Rose out of the door. Jamie heard three sets of footsteps descend the stairs followed by the slamming of car doors. Five minutes later, Millie reentered the room. “It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for, baby girl,” she told Jamie. “Now I know we didn’t discuss this, but for the next several days, until Rose is back home resting with baby number two in her arms, Angie and I will be taking shifts caring for her and attending to her every need. That’s a full-time job for both of us, and it means that we won’t have time to be feeding and changing you. And god knows you’re not capable of doing that yourself—you probably don’t realize how much you’ve regressed. “Anyway, you know Angie. She has a plan for everything. Almost a month ago she made arrangements with a home daycare for you to stay there 24/7 until it’s possible to bring you back here. We packed a bag for you at the same time we prepared one for your mommy. But don’t bother with your laptop. As far as the woman who runs the daycare knows, you’re Rose’s husband who has been insanely jealous of the attention everyone’s been giving her unborn baby and have been complaining about the prospect of being ignored after the birth as well. You watched with envy as Rose opened all the gifts of baby clothes and accessories at her shower. So it’s been set up where you’ll get the same kind of attention at the daycare. As a baby.” Jamie couldn’t believe his ears and didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. His mind reeled trying to think of ways out of it. Was he really so helpless that he couldn’t manage on his own for a few days? He didn’t think so. What if he resisted leaving the crib? It was as if Millie could read his thoughts. She approached the crib and spoke softly through the bars. “Jenny....um, Jamie...we know this is a lot to ask. But really, if we left you here all alone Rose would worry herself to death. In her eyes you’re as helpless as a real infant, and she’s not far off in thinking so. She’s got other things that need her attention right now and doesn’t need your welfare as a distraction. She endorsed bringing you to daycare believing that the story we created would assure you get the best experience possible. It was a huge step for her to pass your care off to a stranger. Do this for Mommy.” As upset as he was, Millie’s words melted Jamie’s heart. Of course he’d do it, but only because it’s what was best for Rose and because it’s what she wants. He nodded, allowed Millie to put a pacifier in his mouth and to put him in a clean dress, and they headed for the door. Neither thought to change his diaper. It didn’t take long before they were pulling into the driveway of a large house set back from the street. Jamie couldn’t see much of the back yard but what he could see had some of the typical plastic playground equipment for young children. The front yard was neatly trimmed and had a curving sidewalk lined with flowers connecting the driveway and front door. “Dammit,” he heard Millie mutter, “forgot the stroller.” Millie allowed Jamie to toddle up to the door with the caveat that as soon as they were let inside he was to fall to the floor and resume crawling. “We’re going to get a full report from the head of the daycare when we come back to get you in two or three days. I expect to hear that you were compliant and accepted your role as a baby. No grownup words, no adult behavior of any kind, got that?” The door was answered by a tall, imposing woman wearing a house dress covered by an apron that bore the stains of myriad babies both past and present. She greeted Millie with a smile, gave a lingering, appraising look at Jamie as she stood over him, and had the pair follow her into the living room where a playpen with two babies inside sat in one corner. The scent of infants, both good and not so good, hung in the air like a fog. The woman had Millie guide Jamie to the playpen. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Millie,” she said loudly. “My name is Katrina and this is my home. I’ve heard of the work that Angie does and admire her, which is why I agreed to this, um, special accommodation. Before you go, I’ll need to conduct an intake like we do for every child under our care.” “Of course,” Millie answered nervously. There was something about this woman that was naturally intimidating. “I brought several days’ worth of diapers, changes of clothing, her bottle and a few pacifiers. Angie told me that you’d take care of the food and formula. Oh, and I apologize but I forgot the stroller. I can bring it by later if you like.” “I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Katrina replied. “From what information I already have, I believe Jenny will be in the Baby Bear group, which is older than newborns but not yet toddling and of course not ready for the potty. They spend much of their time in their cribs and playpens and rarely get taken on outings. So can we get started? First off, given the dress, the pronoun you used, and her name, can I assume that he is to be treated as a she?” The interview was short and typical of any child care facility, ranging from asking about allergies to preferences in food, to how many bottles per day she normally consumed. Listening from across the room, Jamie felt ashamed as they discussed his toilet habits and the likelihood of sexual arousal during a change, which Millie assured the woman was virtually impossible given the size of his equipment. All too soon Millie got up to leave with a quick air kiss to Jamie. As soon as the door shut behind her, Katrina stepped into the playpen and brought herself down to his level. Even kneeling down, she still towered above him. “So you’re jealous of a baby, are you?” she sneered. “You think that it’s all cuddles and hugs and playtime and having a woman cater to your every need on your own terms? By the time you leave her, little girl, you’ll disavow any desire to ever be anything but an adult. You’ll be lucky if your wife ever allows you to use the potty again or sees you as a male, if she ever did.” As she spoke Katrina squeezed the crotch of his diaper, which resulted in a distinct squelch. She shook her head in disgust. “Anna, would you come here please?” she shouted. Seconds later a woman in her early twenties, almost certainly younger than Jamie, entered the room. As soon as she looked in Jamie’s direction she started giggling. “As you can see,” Katrina continued, “the special baby we discussed has arrived complete with a shamefully wet diaper. Would you please bathe her and fix her up the way we talked about? And start a chart for her. Make sure it says to give her a full bottle every two hours. We want to make sure she experiences what it’s like to be constantly peeing so that she’s always soggy and smelly with no control over when she gets changed.” Anna gleefully led Jamie down the hall to a bathroom with a large tub and a plethora of bottles containing body washes, shampoos, and lotions in every color of the rainbow and a range of scents. She poured a combination of them into the tub as it began filling. Pulling his dress over his head, she let out a little shriek and a chuckle when she saw his chest. Making no effort to hide her mirth, she laid him down and untaped his diaper, laughing out loud when his genitals were exposed. “Well, it’s no secret why your wife put a dress on you, baby Jenny,” she mocked, “being so tiny below the waist and so well developed above. My fifteen-year-old sister would love to have your boobs. Are you sure the baby is yours? I’m having trouble picturing how that could have happened.” She turned off the taps and lowered Jamie into the tub, which only contained about four inches of water. She then found what she called her “special washcloth,” a tattered pink piece of terry with baby bunnies on it, pouring a generous dollop of soap onto it and starting to wash Jamie on the face. He soon deduced that this was “special” because it was old, past its useful life for actual babies, and extremely rough on the skin. Anna made no attempt to be gentle and what was always a pleasure when Rose bathed him became a painful test of endurance with her. The soap itself was strongly scented of strawberries and other fruits, a smell that seeped into Jamie’s skin and didn’t wash away when he was rinsed. Jasmine shampoo followed and it, too, was far more odorous than any store-bought brand. By the time he left the tub, Jamie smelled like a fruit salad resting in a garden. But Anna wasn’t done. After drying him, she spread a thick layer of lotion on him that added citrus to the mix, then added several shakes of traditional baby powder to his diaper area. “Now you smell more like a baby, and a very prissy one at that,” Anna said condescendingly. “Although I expect you’ll add your own very infantile and familiar fragrance to your diaper sooner rather than later.” Before pulling up and taping his diaper, Anna sat on his thighs facing him, using one hand to pinch his right nipple and the other to play with his penis. She found his lack of reaction funny. “What I’m doing with my right hand would drive boys crazy and my left would have girls creaming their panties,” she said. “But nothing from you, an asexual baby for sure.” She finished diapering him and pulled his dress back on, then sat on the toilet seat as she added mini-braids to his hair, using tiny butterfly clips to secure them. She moved to his front and surveyed what she’d done. “One final touch,” she said, unclipping his pacifier. Moving back to the toilet, Jamie heard her urinating followed by a flush. “I’ve got my own special binkie for you,” she said as she clipped the holder onto his collar. “This one is equipped with a special little reservoir for extra flavor.” Jaimie immediately discovered what she’d been doing behind him, as drops of her urine entered his mouth. “Next time,” she added, “it’s going into a different orifice first. In the meantime I’ll keep refilling this one as necessary.” Jamie crawled behind her further down the hall and was led into the playroom for the younger set. His senses were immediately met with the chaos of crying babies and a wall of stink. Scanning the room, he counted six children under the age of two and another caregiver giving a bottle to a squirmy girl with a droopy bottom. Two babies were screaming their unhappiness about being locked in a crib and the other three were either playing with some of the toys scattered about the carpet or sitting still sucking their thumb. Anna led Jamie over to the other woman. “Stella, this is Jenny, the one we’ve been waiting for. She’s next up for a feed. If you don’t mind keeping an eye on her, I’ll be right back with her bottle.” Stella was about Jamie’s age, pretty, with dark brown eyes that matched her hair. Jamie couldn’t help but notice her large breasts, which only made him homesick for Rose. He’d been here less than an hour and already couldn’t wait to leave. He longed to be back in his mommy’s arms. All too soon Stella put her sleepy baby into the communal crib and slid down onto the floor, arranging a pillow on her lap and lowering Jamie’s head onto it. He’d just gotten settled when a bottle appeared in her hand and the nipple found its way into his mouth. Whatever was in that bottle was revolting and Jamie began to choke. Stella showed no more compassion than did Katrina or Anna. “Drink it all down, baby girl. It’s meant to taste awful. Our mission here is make sure you learn that the life of a baby isn’t at all what you seem to think it is. And just think, once you finish this one it’s less than two hours until the next one, and then two hours after that, and so on...We’ll even make sure you’re woken up for a couple of bottles overnight. And if you think it’s disgusting now, wait until you see how it smells when it comes out the other end.” Jamie changed tactics and decided to speed up his sucking to get the feed over as soon as possible. Whatever was in that bottle made him gassy and he let out a series of smelly burps in response to Stella’s patting his back. His stomach was queasy and unsettled. He was then led to his own crib, which he appreciated, until he noticed the pile of used diapers lining the inside bars. The staff and been using it as an open-air diaper pail all morning. He was left in the crib with nothing to do for a long time, the only distractions coming when one of the caregivers would come to add a diaper to the stash, increasing his misery. Finally it was time for another bottle. Thankfully, neither of the women wanted to feed him in that crib, so he was able to get a respite from the stench. He opened his mouth to draw in some relatively fresh air, only to have the nipple thrust inside. The second bottle, if anything, tasted worse than the first. The overload of fluids was already having an effect, as Jamie’s diaper neared capacity. He began to feel itchy and the heaviness made it difficult to navigate the room. He was relieved when he wasn’t put back in the crib and assumed he’d done his time in jail and was about to get a fresh diaper. Instead, he was strapped into a highchair and a bib tied around his neck. “Time to open up those bowels,” Anna said as she approached with a three-compartment baby plate piled high with three different repulsive-smelling mashed up foods. “Each one is both full of vitamins for a growing girl but also will stimulate you down there. Broccoli, cauliflower, lots of fruit, some greasy meats, and so on. It won’t take long to simulate the total lack of control of every other baby. Remember, this is what you wanted.” She was ruthless in shoveling the foul concoctions into Jamie’s mouth, using force at times to hold it shut until he swallowed. It took forever to finish, but he knew it wasn’t anywhere close to two hours. Nevertheless, before he was allowed out of the highchair, he had to finish his third bottle of formula. After that, Anna refilled his pacifier. He almost wished he’d had the bottle second to wash away the taste of Anna’s pee. By this time, his diaper was practically falling off. He almost cried for joy when he was taken to an oversized changing table. His mood changed instantly when Anna simply taped another diaper over the current one and added some tight-fitting plastic pants over that. Jamie was then left to himself to entertain himself with toys meant for babies less than a year old. He sat in place and tried to imagine himself somewhere else and pretend that he wasn’t even wearing diapers. This became impossible to do when he farted and felt a wet mush push up against his rear. The extra diaper and plastic panties did little to contain the smell. Eventually another bottle and more time in the diaper pail crib followed. He tried to nap his troubles away but was just falling asleep when Stella lowered the side of the crib and threw all of the used diapers in the crib into a plastic trash bag before raising the bars again. Jamie soon discovered why. Over the next hour, mothers filed into the playroom to claim their children. Each one saw Jamie and moved to get a closer look, looking disgusted as their noses detected the condition of his diaper. He was finally changed once the last child was gone. Anna and Stella both participated, taking the opportunity to tease him about being such a big baby with such little baby private parts. They talked about how he should remain a girl, how much they’d like to be a part of his potty training, and delighted in discussing inviting their friends over to see the spectacle. By the end, he was in tears. The process was repeated ad nauseum. Bottles, meals of unpalatable foods that led to long stretches of soiling himself, diapers constantly saturated beyond capacity, wetting himself within minutes of his few changes, and worst of all, being left in dirty diapers for hours upon hours. Every chance they got, one of the women would remind him of how he supposedly asked for this, to live a life of ease as a baby. It was evening two days later that Millie returned. Her visit was unexpected by the staff of the daycare center, so when she tracked Jamie down he was curled up in the stinky crib in a wet, dirty diaper that should have been changed hours before and dried baby food plastered over his face. She was horrified and rushed him out of the home to her car, not bothering to pay for his time spent there. Throwing a blanket over her front seat, she pushed Jamie in, ran to the driver’s side, then drove away quickly before pulling into a deserted parking lot. “I’m so sorry, baby, believe me this wasn’t part of our plan for you,” Millie sobbed as she brought Jamie to the rear of the car to change his diaper. “Please, you can tell Angie and I all about that horrible place, but never ever say a word to Rose. It would crush her to learn what they did to you.” Jamie remained silent, touched by Millie’s concern and relieved that the awful treatment he’d received wasn’t at her direction. He was so distracted by the diaper change and so pleased just to be away from the daycare that it took him a minute to realize the significance of Millie’s presence. “Wait a minute. If you’re here,” he said, his first time speaking as an adult in ages, “does that mean Mommy...I mean Rose...had her baby? Is she okay?” “Both mother and baby are doing fine,” Millie said with a smile. “She had a girl. Seven pounds, five ounces. Rose named her Jamie.”
  4. 31. “Do I have to?” Rose whined at breakfast the next morning. “Yesterday’s baby shower was the most fun I’ve had in maybe forever, but it really wore me down. I’m tired.” “Welcome to motherhood,” Angie replied unsympathetically. “The demands of a baby will exhaust you, yet you’ll still need to find the energy to prepare their food, clean house, change them, or, in this case, go shopping for necessities and then go on an outing that will expand your child’s horizons. Besides, your due date is drawing near so there may not be another opportunity, and you promised to do this in return for not taking Jenny along to your doctor’s appointment.” “I know, I know,” Rose sighed. “So please remind me, what is it I agreed to do exactly?” “You need to bring her to the mall to do some shopping. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to buy anything,” Millie contributed. “And then take her to the park, push her on the swings, let her play in the sandbox, and do whatever toddlers do. And no matter where you are, the number one rule is if she needs changing or feeding, you can’t put it off. It’ll be good experience in dealing with the stress of finding a place to change a stinky diaper or give her a bottle.” “One correction,” Angie added. “You do need to buy something. Your daughter’s training bras are no longer adequate to contain the size of her boobies. She needs to go up a step or even two. You need to find bras that fit her, and despite the age at which she presents, they’ll need to be available for certain occasions. Now, I’ve made sure that your outing won’t all be stressful. I made picnic lunches for both of you and put a blanket and basket in your car. You can end your trip relaxing in the grass at the park. For you I made a chicken salad sandwich. For Jenny, I took an assortment of food from the shower—cured meats, three different cheeses, pickles, olives, fruits and veggies—and put them in the Vitamix. She looked so sad watching everyone help themselves to the charcuterie yesterday that I think she’ll appreciate it.” “To make things a little easier on you,” Millie said, “we also put the stroller in your car. You won’t need to worry about her wandering away and of course carrying her is out of the question. I’m afraid the size of both baby and stroller will still draw attention though.” The women were conversing as if Jamie wasn’t sitting right there in his highchair, or more accurately as if he really were an infant incapable of understanding what they were saying. To be sure, he wasn’t expected to contribute his own thoughts and he knew they wouldn’t want to hear what he wanted to say. If Rose was less than thrilled with the outing, Jamie was terrified. Jamie was placed in the playpen while the women helped Rose prepare for the trip. She made sure she had her wallet and car keys in her purse and threw in some tissues. Millie brought her an extra pair of panties from upstairs, which embarrassed Rose but she accepted them anyway. The baby inside her had a habit of sitting on or kicking her bladder so it would be prudent to carry a change. The majority of their time was spent packing Jenny’s diaper bag. Four diapers, one for each hour. A bottle of formula. Bibs, wipes, extra outfit, pacifier, rattle, and so on. The huge diaper bag Rose received from Sally at the shower filled up with little room to spare. Finally, it was time to go. Reaching Rose’s car, Jamie was distressed to see the giant car seat secured in the rear. It seemed to engulf him and unfortunately lifted him high enough that he’d be clearly visible to people in other cars. The strap at the crotch pushed his dress up and out of the way, exposing his diaper. Worst of all, the safety harness prevented him from controlling when he got released from this prison. Rose was quiet as she drove, her mind preoccupied with the hours immediately ahead. She did adjust her rear-view mirror so that she could see Jenny and smiled each time she glanced in her direction. Jamie, in the meantime, unknowingly released a stream of urine into his diaper, the disappearance of the unicorns evidence for all to see what he had done. One glance at his crotch and no curious shopper would need to ask if he actually needed and used his diapers. As much as he hated the car seat, the stroller was ten times worse. Rose did roll the sunshade down so he could lean back and avoid eye contact with passersby, but that was small comfort. Children especially would be at his eye level. The crotch of his diaper continued to grow heavier and soggier, a public display of his incontinence. Three minutes into their stroll down the mall, Jamie’s fears about kids were realized. Every child they passed stared at him, even the toddlers still in diapers themselves. With their short attention spans, he figured they’d forget about the big baby they saw as soon as something else caught their attention. But he knew that for every kid that saw him, one, two, or even three adults saw him as well. For once, the fact that he had no social life or friends wasn’t in his mind such a bad thing, as no one at the mall would recognize him. Still, with each passing minute he sucked harder on his pacifier. It never occurred to him that finding relief from being seen as a baby by using his binkie, an infantile thing to do, was the epitome of irony. Rose stalled for time by window shopping before seeing something she liked in a baby store. Wheeling Jamie in, he took relief in being lost among the close together racks jammed with children’s clothes. Inevitably, though, a saleswoman zeroed in on the pregnant woman browsing the sale rack. “May I help—oh!” the woman was startled when she set eyes on the occupant of the stroller. “I’m sorry. Are you looking for something for your baby-to-be? Otherwise I’m afraid we don’t have anything large enough for...for...for her.” She couldn’t take her eyes off of Jamie. “Of course not, I wouldn’t expect you to,” Rose responded sweetly. “My little sister was curious about what it was like to be a baby, so I decided to show her.” “Well, she’s taken the role quite seriously,” the woman said, still unsure what she was seeing. “She appears to be in need of a diaper change. Unfortunately our changing tables aren’t large enough to accommodate your sister.” Rose looked down at Jamie in astonishment. “I just changed your dirty diaper before we left home twenty minutes ago,” she said sternly and, to Jamie’s ears, loudly. She sighed and turned back to the sales lady. “A mother’s work is never done. I’m afraid I’m off in search of a place to change Jenny’s smelly britches. I’ll be back later.” As she began to push the stroller in the direction of the exit door, the woman called out behind her. “You might try the family bathroom next to the phone store,” she shouted. “I believe they have a couch you could change her on.” Once back among the throngs, Rose giggled. “You should have seen her face, baby girl,” she said as she crouched down in front of the stroller. “And every eye in the place was on us as we left. But that woman was right. You’re soaked.” Jamie wasn’t happy that Rose seemed to take to their adventure with such a positive attitude. If it had been up to him, they would have parked somewhere isolated for four hours, eaten in the car, then drove back home. Rose, on the other hand, moved even slower as she continued looking at the window displays. “Ah,” she finally said, “here we are.” She joined a short queue for the family bathroom. Five minutes later, just as she opened the door to enter, a woman dragging a toddler at her side rushed up. “I’m so sorry, but do you think we could go ahead of you? He’s seconds away from pooping himself. Or I tell you what. It looks like your baby won’t be in need of the toilet. Can we go in together so that my son can do his business while you change her?” Seeing the boy’s pitiful expression, Rose felt like she had no alternative. She allowed the woman to run inside first and she followed with Jamie in her wake. As the saleswoman said, there was a flat bench along one wall opposite the toilet. She ignored the words of encouragement then praise from behind her as she hoisted Jamie onto the bench and slid a large waterproof changing pad beneath him. Just as she lowered the front of his diaper, the boy’s mother appeared alongside her. “Thank you, it was a close call. I’m guessing that you know what it’s like if your little one doesn’t want to get toilet trained and is just as happy dropping loads in their pants. Goodness, I didn’t even know they made diapers that large. But she still managed to fill it to capacity, didn’t she?” Rose expected the woman to leave the restroom but she seemed perfectly content to stand over her and Jenny and watch the change to its conclusion. She was unfazed as Rose wiped Jenny’s genitals that gave her true gender away and made no comment about the size of the baby, both women making small talk about the chores of motherhood and the inconvenience of being tied to feeding and toileting emergencies. It never occurred to Rose that the woman was witnessing anything but a mother changing her baby girl, for that’s how she saw it in her own mind. “All right, Jenny,” Rose said. “All clean. Try to keep it that way for at least ten minutes, okay? Now let’s go find a bra for you.” Rose headed toward a chain store aimed at preteens and tweens, but it was having a sale and she didn’t want to fight the crowds of parents with their daughters. Instead, she moved down to the large department store at the end of the mall, walked past the ladies attempting to assault her with perfumes, past women’s shoes, and to the juniors department. She was immediately joined by a woman in her early thirties whose name tag identified her as June. “What a lovely little lady you have there,” June gushed. “And what can I do to make your shopping experience wonderful today?” “As you can see, my sister is a bit underdeveloped in some ways,” Rose said, “but not in her chest area, which is beginning to blossom. Can you please tell me where I could find the bras?” “But of course! Let me bring you there. We have a fine collection. And what’s your name, little girl?” Jamie cringed back and tried to hide as the woman’s face appeared a foot away from his own. Instead of answering, his body let out a little fart. Little, but potent. The woman instantly stood up. Rose had to cover her mouth to avoid laughing. Without making any further conversation, the trio traveled to the girls’ lingerie section, where one table and one rack rested near a sign identifying this area as the place for “her first bra.” Rose pawed through the selection before settling on a plastic package with three different color cotton bras that slipped over the head. No hooks. June frowned. “I do think we should take a look at her, dear,” she said. “Let me get my tape.” Soon Rose and Jamie found themselves in a large changing room with mirrors on two sides. “I think we can do this without taking her out of her stroller,” June told Rose. “If you wouldn’t mind standing behind her like this and pulling her dress up, I’ll be done in a jiffy.” Rose just wanted to make her purchase and move on to the park, but knew that the fastest way to do that was to just comply. Jamie found his dress up and covering his face, so he jumped reflexively when he felt hands move around his back and pull something snug around his front side. The hands lingered there, then shifted a couple more times before finally going away. His dress then fell off his face and allowed him to see again. “Those might fit her now,” June told Rose, “but barely. If I were you I’d go up a size and away from trainers. Her bust is ready to burst out. I think you’d be back here within the month.” They left the dressing room and back to the sales floor, where Rose pulled several bras off of hangers then paid as quickly as she could. As they were leaving the store and heading back to the entrance they came in at, though, Rose stopped. “Dammit,” she mumbled to herself. Jamie felt himself being pushed fast down the wide aisle. Rose was dodging people and constantly yelling out “excuse me.” She made a sharp turn, pushed him through a door, and they were inside another bathroom, but this one was full of women at the mirror, the sinks, and standing waiting. The bathroom odor mixed with contrasting perfumes was potent. Rose pushed the stroller into the handicapped stall, slamming the door behind her, then immediately plopped herself down on the toilet seat. A microsecond later she sighed in relief as she peed what seemed like gallons. Only when she started to wipe did she realize that she’d left Jenny in the perfect position to watch her as she urinated. It didn’t occur to Rose to be embarrassed. A baby Jenny’s age wouldn’t even know what she was witnessing. “That’s how grown-ups go to the bathroom” she told Jenny. “Maybe what you just saw will motivate you to start potty training.” She paused in thought. “But even if and when you’re ready for it, I don’t think I will be. I want you to be my diapered baby Jenny forever and ever.” Rose flushed then kissed Jamie on both cheeks and his forehead. As they left the stall, the bathroom, and the mall, he couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d just said. The drive to the park was short and Rose found a place for her car under the shade of a tree. Having had experience now, it was easier to strap her baby into the stroller this time. She slung the oversized diaper bag over the back, grabbed the lunch basket, and pushed Jenny into the side meant for the youngest children. It was crowded. There were a few fathers but it was mostly mothers with toddlers, a few cradling a young infant as well. Rose lifted Jenny out of the stroller then helped her waddle over to the slide. She was adorable with her big padded butt moving slowly down to the bottom but seemed disinterested after the second time. The swings were too small so she guided Jenny to the sandbox, where four or five mothers were already sitting on the ledge overseeing a gaggle of kids. Rose had come prepared, handing Jenny a small plastic pail and shovel. A bit old for her baby, maybe, but she’d see. She also needed to make sure she didn’t start eating the sand. A boy of about eighteen months came over and sat across from Jenny, taking over control of the sand toys and making primitive castles that he’d then destroy. Rose was poised to defend Jenny’s property rights, but her baby seemed content to just watch. Rose was unaware of the furtive glances and outright stares the other mothers cast in her direction, thinking that she blended right in with them. Their deliberate choice to avoid interaction with this young woman and her preteen diapered daughter Rose interpreted as acceptance, just another mother and baby at the park on a beautiful day. Even when she pulled Jenny out to change a particularly dirty diaper at the side of the sandbox, she assumed that no other mother offered to help because of the nasty stench. She would have done the same. Since she’d gone to the trouble to disrupt Jenny’s playtime for the much-needed change, she decided it was time for lunch. After saying goodbye to the other women, she pushed Jenny over to the grassy area where she spread a blanket out in the shade, positioning the baby right in its center. “Lucky you,” she told Jenny as she tied on her bib, “you get to share the food from yesterday as if you were a big girl.” Opening up the plastic container, a powerful aroma of pickle and meat escaped. Rose dipped Jenny’s baby spoon into it to get a small taste before she fed it to her. “Yuk!” she exclaimed, talking to herself and making a sour face. “It was better in its original form.” She filled the spoon this time, facing Jenny as she moved it toward her mouth. “You need to eat this all up baby girl, so that you can grow up to be a big girl and fill out those bras we bought for you today.” Jenny’s reaction was expected but still comical as she scrunched up her nose while Rose tried to get as much food as she could into her baby’s mouth. By the end, it was a tossup as to which won, her stomach or the bib. Rose pulled out the bottle of formula but frowned. It was cold which in her mind made it unfit for Jenny to consume. She’d have to remember to get a Thermos the next time she and Jenny went shopping. Without a second thought, she laid her baby across her lap and opened up her blouse. In her mind, she was doing what millions of other mothers do, simply feeding her baby in a natural way. She sighed in contentment as Jenny suckled, eating her sandwich with her free hand. Jenny fell asleep as she nursed on the second breast. Rose gently lowered her to the blanket, buttoned up, then laid down herself to join her baby in her nap. Rose woke up when Jenny stirred. Her diaper was already wet but could wait until they got home. She gathered everything up, strapped Jenny into the stroller, and headed back to the car. It had been a good day. She was proud of herself and confident in her abilities as a mother. Soon she’d have two babies to look after, and she would love them both equally.
  5. 30. As excited as she was to be breastfeeding, and as much as she looked forward to the physical and emotional pleasure it gave her, Rose confined her nursing sessions with Jenny to the first and last bottles of the day, as those were the times when Angie and Millie were occupied downstairs. She wasn’t ashamed for what she was doing but wanted to keep this one act as something special to be shared only between she and her baby. She was pleased with how eagerly Jenny took to it and how much better she was getting at her suckling technique. Friday morning dawned bright and sunny; it was going to be a beautiful, warm day. Rose yawned and stretched, sitting on the edge of her bed while taking a few moments to wake up before heading to the kitchen to prepare a bottle. She was surprised to hear a knock at her bedroom door and for Millie to enter a few seconds later. “Up at at ‘em, Ms. Mother-to-Be,” Millie chirped cheerfully. “We have a special surprise for you today. I’m taking you out to breakfast, then we’re going to the nail salon for a mani-pedi. You’ve carried that little critter inside you for over eight months now, so it’s time for you to get some pampering. Don’t worry about Jenny. Angie will be looking after her this morning.” Rose tried to look thrilled, which a large part of her was, but inside she mourned missing her morning nursing session. Oh well, she thought, she could find a way to make it happen at lunchtime. In the meantime, as she dressed she made sure to position absorbent pads inside the cups of her bra. Millie meanwhile made sure to steer Rose clear of any windows that opened to the back yard, where colorful banners and streamers hung from the trees above a couple of portable tables with chairs, packs of disposable plates and napkins ready to go. A large gated play yard had been set up in the shade of an old oak tree. As she was followed Millie downstairs, Rose set aside her disappointment at missing a breastfeeding session and began to feel giddy at what was ahead. She’d never had her nails done at a salon and no one had ever been thoughtful enough to treat her to something as kind as this. She and Millie tittered happily as they made their way to the car. Angie breathed a sigh of relief to see them go. There was still much to be done before the guests arrived at noon. First, though, she had to attend to Jenny. As she heated the bottle of formula, she thought ahead to the process of getting the child ready in the most efficient way possible. Bottle first, then breakfast and a bath. She’d just have to sit in her overnight diaper until after her bath. Jamie’s heart fell when it was Angie who entered the nursery. Where was Rose? He’d heard car doors and chatter earlier and assumed that she had somewhere to go. Was the baby coming early? Was Rose okay? As if she knew what he was thinking, Angie filled in the answers as she approached the crib. “Good morning, baby. Mommy had somewhere to go today but she’ll be back in a little bit. You’re getting fed by Auntie Angie this morning.” She watched as Jamie crawled to the couch, admiring his puffy but saggy bottom, then joined him there. Her mind was preoccupied with her morning checklist as Jamie drank, so she was surprised to hear him suck air. “No, not yet Jenny,” she said as he automatically moved to assume burping position, “Auntie has a lot of chores to do this morning and I don’t want you to get dehydrated. I brought a second bottle of juice.” That was part of the reason, Angie thought to herself, but not the only one. She also wanted to make sure her diaper was past ready for changing by the time company arrived. Jamie felt bloated after guzzling a full quart of fluid. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to eat breakfast, but Angie didn’t give him a choice. She riffled through the bib drawer, saving the cuter and more girly ones for later and settling on a plain white one with yellow trim. She was running behind and was relentless in shoveling oatmeal with prunes into the baby’s mouth as quickly as possible. She was scraping the last of it out of the bowl when Jenny’s huge belch signaled that she’d had enough. Back upstairs for the bath. Angie ran the water and poured a sweet floral bubble bath into the tub. Jenny should at least start out smelling nice, she thought. Back in the nursery, she had Jamie lift his arms as she pulled off his nightgown in preparation for the bath. Seeing him bare-chested for the first time in a couple of months, she gasped. The hormones must be working much faster than anticipated, she thought. Jenny’s chest is easily in stage two. Her breasts weren’t large but they were protruding into clear mounds and the nipples had darkened slightly and enlarged. She’d fit in with any group of twelve-year-old girls, Angie thought. She’d have to think about this. Her main purpose for giving him the medication was to prevent erections. She knew growing breasts was a side effect but assumed it would take a year or more to get to this stage, by which time he’d be off the medication. This would require some thought, but not now. Too much to do. As she bathed Jenny, she noticed a definite flinching as she brushed soap across her breast area. Pushing her luck, she used the lathered-up washcloth to gently pinch her nipples and rub small circles around them. As she did so, Jenny closed her eyes and bit her lower lip. Angie smiled. Welcome to the world of women, she thought. Once clean and back on the changing table, Angie had just laid extra padding inside Jenny’s diaper when a lazy stream of urine dribbled out of her penis. Interesting how she didn’t even seem to notice that she was peeing, Angie thought. Oh well, it can hold a lot more, and even if it doesn’t these plastic panties will. She was happy that Jenny wasn’t paying attention to her because she would throw fits if she saw how frilly her panties are. It’ll be enough of a battle to get her into the party dress Millie had purchased. Pink, yellow, and lilac with rows of ruffles everywhere, bows along the waistline and at the puffy sleeves, a Peter Pan collar, and a sewn-in petticoat. Before getting the dress out of the closet, she slipped ruffled silk socks over Jenny’s feet then squeezed them into shiny black Mary Jane shoes. That got the baby’s attention, although being strapped in a prone position she couldn’t see the style of shoes “Now, Jenny,” Angie said firmly. “I’m telling you right now that I don’t expect any trouble putting on the dress we’ve picked out for you. Millie’s out helping your mommy look extra special today and we thought it would be a nice surprise for her if you looked special too when she gets home. So cooperate with me here without complaint, and let me do your hair, and I’ll leave you alone to do your work the rest of the morning. Otherwise I’ll spank you and lock you in your crib without your laptop.” Jamie didn’t understand why looking nice had to come with a threat until he saw the dress. Had it not been for Angie’s heading off any protest, he would have balked. As it was, he bit his tongue until he was fully clothed and coiffed with miniature bows and barrettes, and he was left alone to do his work. Rose dashed into the house and headed directly to the bathroom, barely making it before she peed herself. I’m getting as bad as Jenny, she laughed to herself. Thinking of Jenny reminded her of how full her breasts felt. It was her imagination, she knew, as she wasn’t producing much, but there was also the growing psychological need to have Jenny at her breast. She felt inside her bra and confirmed that the pad needed replacing. Maybe she was leaking more than she thought. As she headed toward the stairs, Millie intercepted her. “If you’re looking for Jenny, she’s out back. It’s too nice a day to have her cooped up inside.” Rose shrugged her shoulders and changed course. She headed for the back door with Millie trailing, suppressing a smile. Rose stepped outside and immediately froze, uncertain what to make of the mass of activity spread out before her. “Surprise!” a chorus of women chanted. Rose looked for a familiar face before finally singling out Angie among the crowd. “It’s your baby shower,” Millie whispered in her ear. “Don’t be shy, these are all former tenants and current mothers here who want to welcome you to the club.” Beaming, Rose descended the stairs. Angie stepped forward and took her by one elbow while Millie grabbed the other arm, leading her through a circle of folding chairs to a plush chair complete with footstool. “The place of honor,” one of the women told her. “The only seat fit for a woman of your stature, and don’t think you’re moving from it this entire party. Anything you need, one of us will get for you.” Millie noticed Rose swiveling her head back and forth with a concerned expression on her face. “I think what she wants right now,” she said, “is to be reunited with her current baby.” “Done!” a buxom blonde shouted, and within a few minutes she led Jenny into the circle. Rose squealed with delight to see Jenny in a sea of lace and ruffles with her hair highlighted by wonderfully girlish, infantile bows. She reached down and pulled her baby up to her lap, smothering her with kisses. As she reached below the hem of the dress to position Jenny better on her lap, though, her hand found the diaper with a loud squelch. She withdrew her hand quickly and gave it a sniff. “I’m sorry ladies, but I’m afraid I need to bring her in for a quick change,” she told the crowd. “I’ll be right back.” “Nonsense!” the blonde woman said. “You just relax. I’ll change her right here.” “Actually,” a woman not much older than Rose chirped in, “my little one could use a change himself. You up to a race?” The rest of the crowd cheered, thinking this was the best idea ever. Out of nowhere a blanket appeared and was spread out in the middle of the circle. A few minutes later, two changing stations were created with each baby’s supplies positioned at the edge of the blanket. Jamie and a boy of about twelve months old were then laid side by side. Some women drew their chairs closer while others stood to get a better view. “Here’s the rules,” someone shouted above the chatter. “First, Peter isn’t wearing plastic pants, so before we start Sally gets to remove Jenny’s.” Jamie was dismayed when a stranger appeared above him and between his legs, smiling down at him. As she removed his panties, he could see multiple strange faces hovering nearby, eyes all focused on his groin area. He’d never been so humiliated, and the worst was yet to come. “Second,” the voice continued, “no shortcuts. Style counts as much as speed. You ladies need to wipe every inch of their diaper area and do a good job to get rid of all the pee. The old diapers need to be rolled up into a neat package so that there’s no chance of anything escaping. Powder needs to be applied evenly. The tapes need to be uniformly positioned, and we’ll check the fit when you’re done. We vote on the winner and voting is completely discretionary with no right to appeal. Anyone have a whistle?” Whistles of three different pitches erupted from three different directions. Sally tucked Jamie’s poofy dress up and out of the way as best she could then pulled the tapes back and opened his diaper. Shouts and sounds came from every direction as the crowd fixated on Jamie’s most private area, many of them expressing pity for him and commenting on its lack of size or speculating about whether it even worked. Meanwhile, the two women were a flurry of activity. Jamie was both horrified and mesmerized by Sally’s braless, bouncing breasts as she rushed to wipe him, though he thought she deliberately took an inordinate amount of time cleaning his penis and balls, giggling as she did so, and his lack of reaction brought more laughter and commentary. When she stuck a finger up his rear a roar of approval came from the crowd. Sally was still shaking powder when Peter’s mother yelled that she was done. “No sense rushing, then,” Sally remarked loudly as she took her time rubbing the powder in. Jamie could feel the heat of his blushing cheeks. It seemed like an hour before she taped him up and declared herself finished. “Time for a vote,” an alcohol-fueled voice cried out. “Show of hands now, ladies.” Despite being the slower of the two, Sally won unanimously, which caused fake outrage and calls of “fix” and “recount” from her competition. Both women were awarded a fresh glass of wine and the crowd dispersed. As it did, Rose appeared front and center in Jamie’s vision. She beckoned him with her finger and he lost no time in crawling to her and climbing up. She cuddled him closely and whispered “That must have been awful for you, baby. Thank you for being such a good sport.” She soft voice and firm hold on him almost made the diaper change ordeal worthwhile. “Excuse me,” a woman with a pretty face framed by a bob cut said to Rose as she squatted down to be on the same level. “My name’s Marie. This is a little awkward to say, but you’re leaking.” Rose looked down to see large wet patches over both breasts. By this time the other women had filled plates with food and joined the circle. Rose was mortified. “Don’t be embarrassed,” a woman across from her said. “It’s happened to all of us. And not always among an understanding crowd. You’re with friends, or at least future friends, here. Go ahead and feed your baby.” Rose was astonished, but not nearly as much as Millie and Angie were when she pulled up her top, pushed the cup of her bra aside, and positioned Jenny on her nipple. Jamie should have been the one embarrassed, but being in the place he loved most enabled him to shut out the world around him and concentrate on the task at hand. Warm milk entered his mouth and he sighed contentedly as he nursed. He spent about ten minutes on each breast, neither mother or baby in a hurry to finish. When he was, Sally moved over beside Rose’s chair. “I hope this isn’t too weird,” she said, “but my toddler is weaning herself and my boobs hurt so much from the weight. I didn’t bring my pump. Would you mind?” Rose recognized the pain the poor woman was in and felt compelled, as a future mother helping out a current mother, to accede. “No need to get up, that’s your seat today,” Sally said. “She can come down here.” Someone produced a throw pillow out of nowhere and helped prop up Jamie’s head. Sally wasted no time in moving her breast to his mouth and emitted a huge sigh of relief as he started suckling. Jamie immediately noticed the difference, both in volume and in taste. The milk wasn’t as sweet but he had to admit that it was still wonderfully addicting. And it flowed into his mouth faster and in large amounts. Being used to Rose’s slow trickle, there were times when he almost couldn’t keep up. He eventually settled into a rhythm and listened to the voices around him. Expecting everyone to be talking about him, he was surprised to hear conversations about other topics as the mothers told war stories of blowouts and puddles, offered advice on many different things, and in general just chatted as if an adult male dressed as a baby and nursing from a stranger’s breasts was the most normal thing in the world. When he was done, Jamie was escorted to the oversized playpen, where Marie was watching over twin boys of around three years old and the baby that had his diaper changed next to him during the race. Books, toys, and baby supplies were scattered all around the area. Marie created a cozy resting place out of a blanket and lowered the sleeping baby onto it. The twins were fighting over Legos. “Looks like you have me all to yourself,” Marie said to Jamie as she placed his pacifier into his mouth. “Let’s see what we can find to do, shall we?” She pulled over a bag of soft blocks and a few picture books, spread out her legs, and sat him between them with his back up against her body. She spilled out the blocks onto the ground and put her hand over his, guiding it to place one block on top of another, then moving his arm to dash it to the ground, laughing and squeezing him as she did so. After several build-and-smash towers, she read Jamie several stories out of the books, making animal noises and exaggerating the cadence of her speech in the way adults do for children. They’d just started playing peekaboo when Marie halted mid-peek and sniffed the air. “Smells like the poo poo express made a trip into somebody’s station,” she said cheerfully. “Boys, come over here, let me check.” The twins looked insulted but obeyed her and stood stoically as she pulled the back of their matching pullups out and peered down at their rear ends. “Nope. You can go back to your game.” She then moved Jamie to the side and crawled over to the sleeping baby, felt inside his diaper, and then returned. “I guess that only leaves you, baby Jenny,” she said. She leaned over, pulled up the back of his dress, and took a whiff. “Whew! Little Miss Stinky Pants needs a change. All of that milk you had just ran through both ends. Don’t cry, sweetie. Let’s get you cleaned up.” Jamie appreciated the non-judgmental, efficient way Marie went about changing his soiled diaper. No sneaky looks, no comments about the mess or the smell, and no lingering over his penis with the wipes. She smiled the whole time and went about her business. Jamie realized that what he liked about the process was that Marie treated him just like she would any other infant that needed changing, not like an adult who should know better but was temporarily playing baby. He wondered why it felt more natural that way. Marie was just wrapping up the used diaper when one of the other guests approached. “Time for my shift, so you can go join the others. Oh, and they want you to bring Jenny with you. It’s time to open gifts and they want her there.” Rose was thrilled to have her baby back even though Jenny had to sit on the ground under Sally’s watch because Rose needed both hands to open gifts. Jamie noticed that each present was actually two identically wrapped items. He’d never been to a baby shower, so he assumed that this was some odd tradition. Rose picked up one pair of gifts and opened the smaller one first. “Ooohhh, these are SO adorable,” she squealed as she held up a hand-crocheted pair of yellow baby booties for all to see. With barely a pause she tore into the accompanying larger package and let out a little scream of delight. Another pair of booties, identical to the first but for the fact that they were much, much larger. “Thank you so much. The babies will look so cute in them,” she said. Babies? Jamie thought. Is she having twins? But then why would one pair be so much bigger? His brain blocked the obvious explanation because he never would have conceived of it, but with the next gift Sally’s comments made it clear. It was a diaper bag, pink with gray baby elephants on the sides. “I made it myself,” Sally told Rose. “Commercial bags never have enough room or enough pockets or a place to store dirty diapers. Mine have room for up to three bottles, there’s zippered plastic pouches for the nasties, you can fit a half a day’s worth of diapers and a change of clothes in there, as well as plenty of wipes, powders, and lotions, a changing pad, snacks, a few toys, and a book. It’s more of a portable nursery than a diaper bag but it’s still compact.” As Sally was touting the benefits of the bag she made, Rose opened up the second gift with the same wrapping. “OMG, OMG, you are just the best,” she tittered at Sally. The second bag was identical to the first, but much larger. Rose looked inside and pulled out a disposable diaper Jamie recognized as one of his own. “I had to make sure I’d measured correctly and that her diapers would fit in there,” Sally explained, casting a glance at Jamie as she spoke. Jamie suddenly understood and was mortified. This shower was as much for him as it was for Rose’s real baby. And so it went. Two baby blankets, two onesies with “Mommy’s little stinker” plastered across the butt, two diaper pails—the smaller one white and the larger one pink, two bonnets, and two pairs of fingerless gloves to prevent babies from scratching themselves or, in Jenny’s case, from putting them where they didn’t belong. Just when he thought they were done, Angie and Millie announced that they each had gifts to give but they were too cumbersome to wrap. From behind a tree, Angie produced a car seat in each hand, of course one small and one grotesquely large. Jamie’s mouth dropped open. She couldn’t be serious! She returned to the same tree and from behind it she and Millie each reappeared pushing matching strollers. Jamie shouldn’t have been surprised to see that the one Millie controlled was big enough to fit him. “The bigger versions are technically for future special needs children,” Angie explained, “but I think you can see where they can be put to good use now.” The women cheered and gathered around to get a closer look at all the presents. Rose had tears in her eyes. She couldn’t believe that anyone would go to all of this trouble for her. Jamie also had tears in his eyes but for a completely different reason. After some more talk and some more wine, Rose announced to the group that it was time for Jenny’s nap and that she needed to lie down as well. The party carried on as she brought Jamie upstairs. Instead of heading for her own room after getting the baby settled in the crib, she laid down behind her and spooned her. They were still sleeping in that position when Millie found them two hours later.
  6. 29. The household once more returned to a certain level of normalcy and days turned into weeks. At dinner one night, as Rose waddled up to the highchair to push a mixture of pureed chicken, cornbread, and squash into Jamie’s waiting mouth, Millie commented on how she seemed to have doubled in size within the last month. “Most of that I attribute to your cooking,” Rose laughed, “but part of it is the baby growing larger inside of me. I can feel it moving and kicking. I think it wants to come out. Which reminds me. I have an appointment with my obstetrician next Monday. Can I count on one of you to watch Jenny for me?” Before Millie could answer, Angie cut in. “It would be good experience to take Jenny with you. Handling a baby during an important event is a skill you should learn. Also, you need to get comfortable taking your baby out in public.” Rose looked crestfallen. “Please, just when I’m at the doctor’s. They do tests that prevent me from holding her and it’s not the nurses’ responsibility to watch my other child. I’d have to bring one of you with me and then it would still be you watching over Jenny instead of me, only there instead of here.” “She’s got a point, Ang,” Millie said. “It would be you or me struggling with her or trying to find space in the examination room to change her and we don’t need that practice. That being said, I agree that she needs the experience of carting a baby around outside the home.” She turned to face Rose. “How about we compromise? I’ll watch Jenny while you’re at the doctor, but you and Jenny need to get out of the house for at least half a day. I’d say start at the mall, then bring her to the park. Roughly four or five hours total. That way you’ll need to figure out where to change a smelly diaper and feed her a bottle away from home in a couple of different settings.” Rose readily agreed, but Jamie wasn’t allowed to give his input to the conversation. Going out in public might be good experience for Rose, but it would mean he’d be exposed to the eyes of strangers. Not only being dragged around in baby clothes, which was bad enough, but having his privates exposed during a diaper change? Inconceivable. He was prevented from pointing out his objection by the constant flow of mush into his mouth, not to mention that using adult words would bring on the phantom punishments he’d been threatened with. After lunch, when Rose retreated to the nursery for a bottle feed, Angie and Millie conferred. “She’d need a stroller big enough to fit her,” Angie said. “But I assume you’ve already looked into that.” “You know me too well,” Millie replied smiling. “Already ordered in fact and it’ll be here in a couple of days. Even after Rose has her baby, Jenny’s still got several more months on her lease and from what I can tell, will be further away than ever from controlling her potty needs. My guess is that they’ll be two babies in the house for the foreseeable future, so it’s not a bad investment. It also fits in well with your plan to attract older special needs kids. I made sure to customize it so that once in, baby will need an adult’s help to get out.” Angie’s imagination immediately zeroed in on she and Rose pushing Jenny and Rose’s baby down the street side by side in matching strollers. A part of her tingled in glee. “You were right to anticipate that need, thanks. I’ll reimburse you for the stroller. Did you buy one yet for Rose’s baby shower? Show me the picture of Jenny’s and let’s see if we can find a match.” “Speaking of the shower, how many guests are we expecting? And has she figured it out yet?” “Not as far as I can tell. My guess is that no one cared enough to throw her a party when she was growing up, so it’s the last thing that she’ll expect. As far as guests, I think about seven, maybe eight of my former tenants? Not counting several toddlers and infants. It’s a beautiful thing that so many of them think so fondly of my mission here that they’ll show up for a complete stranger.” Angie dreamily thought back to how most of the women attending had nothing themselves when they were here but were gifted the essentials by tenants before them. Now they were giving back. “So let me get this straight, then,” Millie said. “Monday is Rose’s doctor. Friday is the surprise shower. So next weekend would be perfect for her public outing with Jenny. She’ll have the stroller, I’m sure one of the women will give her a diaper bag, and the mall and park will both be crowded. Sounds perfect.” Angie shook her head. “I’m not sure Jenny would agree, but then babies have no say in the matter. She seems prone to losing control of her bowels when stressed. Rose is going to be put to the test, that’s for sure.” “Well, I’m sure Friday will be here before we know it, so I need to get to the store to get what we need for food and drink. Anything else you can think of? “Maybe,” Angie said, testing her memory. “Before you go, let’s hit the basement and see what decorations we have left over from the last shower. I may need you to drop by the party store. We don’t know the sex yet of Rose’s baby, so either pink or blue will be fine. Millie grinned. “Pink will at least be appropriate for the baby already here. Are we going to tell Jenny about the party?” “Best not, I think,” Angie replied. “Just like with the babysitter, she’d only stress, and there’s nothing she could do to prepare for it anyway. I have told the women that are coming about her just to avoid any awkwardness when they first see Jenny. I needn’t have bothered. Every one of them thought it was a great idea, after they stopped laughing.” The two women laughed themselves, then headed down the stairs. Meanwhile, Rose was comfortably resting on the nursing couch upstairs as Jamie was finishing his bottle of formula. She’d positioned him so that his chest nestled up against her own just below her breasts. It wasn’t the most natural position but ever since the diaper rash debacle she tried to express her regrets by holding him as close as possible whenever possible, and Jenny seemed to appreciate it. When he’d finished and Rose began to move him over her shoulder for burping, she paused. “Jenny, did you dribble while you were drinking?” she asked. There were two small but distinct wet spots on either side of his chest. Did he maybe spit up on himself? On her? As she patted Jenny’s back she moved her hand down to feel her blouse and was surprised to find similar wet patches there. Puzzled, she attributed it to her baby’s sloppy nursing and thought no more about it. Until after she’d changed into a fresh blouse. Within an hour, with no bottle sessions during that time, two dime-sized spots sat directly above where her nipples sat inside her bra. Curious now, she slipped one cup down off of her boob and looked at her nipple. Perched on the very tip was a thick, yellow drop and the inside of her bra was damp, which threw her into a panic. She reached for the phone to call her doctor but stopped. She’d heard about women who started lactating while still pregnant. But milk was white and this was yellow. She didn’t want to look like an idiot and decided to search the internet first. She’d never heard of colostrum. It was a natural thing, she read, even before she gave birth. She was relieved to know that there was nothing wrong with her or her unborn baby, and navigated over to Amazon to order some absorbent pads. A thought nibbled at the edge of her mind and refused to go away. Was she thinking naughty thoughts? Would it interfere with her natural-born baby? She’d wait until Monday and ask her doctor. Rose was elated as she drove home from her appointment. Her obstetrician had seen past her stammering and hesitation as she tried to find the right words to ask her question. “You’re not the first pregnant woman that wanted to know that,” the doctor told her with a smile. “Not even close. It’s natural to want to share such an important event with your partner and from what I hear you’ll both enjoy it. And no, it doesn’t use up your colostrum so that there’s none left for the baby or somehow affect it so that the newborn doesn’t get the nutrients it needs. I don’t have any actual scientific evidence to support this, but it may actually encourage your body to produce more milk and make you more comfortable with the mechanics of nursing.” Jamie was puzzled when Rose closed the nursery door behind her as she entered the room with a bottle. Was it because he’d soiled himself and she wanted to prevent the odor from drifting into other parts of the house? That would be new. Whatever, he thought, he didn’t really care. In fact it might be a nice change not to have his fudgy bottom exposed to whomever peeked into his room as they passed by. It was also different that Rose didn’t change him before settling in with the bottle. Normally she didn’t care if he was only wet, but if he was poopy she without fail got him cleaned up and the offending diaper stashed within the pail as soon as possible. Today she didn’t playfully tease him in baby talk as she often did about his condition. She seemed distracted and didn’t even give an indication that she knew he was dirty. Jamie worried that she got bad news at the doctor’s office, but she seemed to be in too good a mood for that to have happened. They stayed in the crib today as well instead of moving to the nursing couch, which normally only happened when they were running late for dinner or a nap or at bedtime. No matter, Jamie thought, the only place he wanted and needed to be was where he was right now, nestled comfortably into Rose’s chest. He half dozed as he suckled and entered his happy place. Rose burped him and wiped his chin, but instead of moving to leave the crib she settled back down and moved Jamie back across her lap. “We’re going to try something new, today, baby,” she said cheerfully without specifying what this new thing was. Jamie’s eyes grew wide as he watched Rose unbutton her blouse, cup her breast with one hand, and put the other hand behind Jamie’s head as she pushed him slowly to her nipple. It wasn’t the same as feeding from a bottle. It took Jamie awhile to find the proper motion with his tongue and the right placement of his lips. There was only a thin trickle of milk that he had to work hard for, but what he did get was sweeter and thicker. Rose stopped humming as he suckled and made no effort to stop him when the milk stopped after a few minutes. Eventually she moved him to her other breast. When he was done there, which didn’t take long, he stopped sucking but kept his mouth where it was. They sat in that position for twenty, thirty minutes. However long it was, it wasn’t long enough for either of them. Rose buttoned up when she heard footsteps in the hallway and smiled down at Jamie, her cheeks flushed. “Shhh, little Jenny, this is Mommy’s secret,” she whispered. She helped him down and followed him to his desk, where she strapped him in tight. Before she left she wrapped her arms around his neck from behind and kissed him on the cheek. Jamie was so lost in his own thoughts that it was several minutes before he realized she had gone. Both had forgotten to change his diaper.
  7. 28. The following weeks settled into a predictable routine, and one that wasn’t as uniformly repulsive as Jamie had anticipated. Rose gradually took over the entire responsibility of his care. Jamie’s work passed through several critical stages that were extremely stressful to the point that he looked forward to breaking away from it when Rose came to check his diaper or feed him a bottle. She was interactive and affectionate in a way that Millie hadn’t been. It was almost enough to make Jamie happy to be her baby. Almost, but not quite. There were things he missed about his adult life. Using the toilet when he chose to, for example, not when his bladder and bowels decided to empty without notice into his diaper, although the discomfort and ick factor of a wet or messy diaper was offset somewhat by the pleasure of being made clean again by Rose. He also missed chewing his food as well as being able to discern what he was eating, drinking water out of a glass instead of formula out of a bottle, and deciding which shirt he’d wear with his jeans instead having someone else decide between a dress and a onesie or romper. And having a bedroom that didn’t stink of used diapers. Upon deeper reflection, though, he appreciated Rose making all the decisions in his life outside of what he needed to do for work. It felt liberating and freed his mind up to focus on other things, diminishing some of his stress. Also, since he never left the house anymore, did it really matter what he wore? And the smile Rose gave him as she scraped pureed peas off his chin and into his mouth made his heart flutter, just a little. He would miss that when this infantile treatment was over. He also had to admit that it had been a while since he actually noticed the smell in his room that the women wrinkled their nose at when they entered. Right on cue, Rose breezed through his door for a diaper check and change. Both mother and baby were surprised, though, when Angie entered shortly afterward just as Rose was untaping the soggy diaper. “Go ahead and finish cleaning her up,” Angie told Rose, “but don’t pull out another disposable. It’s time you switched over to cloth diapers to give those a chance. They may be messier, but they’re more economical and are better for the environment. It’s also a nice feeling for the baby to have soft cloth sitting next to her bottom and genitals instead of paper. Give me a little room here, and we can fold the first one together.” Jamie laid passively on the changing table as Angie walked Rose through a few different methods of folding a diaper, stressing how to put more padding in the rear for a girl. It took Rose several attempts to partially master each way, finally settling on one that was the simplest. She wiped her brow as she finished fastening the last pin. “Now the fun part,” Angie said. “Adding waterproof panties. I’m afraid Millie went a bit overboard when she was shopping online, so you have a large number of plastic panties and diaper covers to choose from, each one with different patterns and designs. Note, though, that the odds of you using the same one at the end of the day that you picked in the morning are slim. No matter how thick the diaper, Jenny’s pee will soak through to the panties and her poop will leak out past the diaper. Don’t worry about it, that’s why these are waterproof. But you don’t ever want to reuse a damp or soiled diaper cover. And since cotton diapers don’t wick away the wetness to the same extent as disposables, her urine will be sitting against her skin after she wets. You’ll need to be changing her diapers much more often to avoid diaper rash.” Rose was overwhelmed with what to her was an unnecessary switch. She’d been doing just fine with disposables and now was being forced to take on additional responsibilities. But Angie wasn’t done. “Here’s the diaper pail you’ll use for cloth. Watch me as I fill it partway with water and then mix in the Borax, which I’ll store here on the bottom shelf. Dump as much of her mess as you can in the toilet, then soak the diapers in here. It’ll reduce staining and partly address the smell, which will be pretty overwhelming as the number of diapers rises throughout the day. You’re going to want to wash them within forty-eight hours in order to keep them as fresh as possible, so that means laundry at least every two days. You may opt for daily. Use the hot setting.” Rose chose a simple pink pair of plastic pants, slipping them up Jamie’s legs. She released him and allowed him to go back to work, staying to watch his enormous rear end sway as he crawled back to his desk, pacifier in his mouth. Cloth diapers may be a pain in her ass, but they made his ass look adorable. Jamie wasn’t sure how long it was before Rose’s return. All he knew is that his bottom was wet and stung a little when he shifted positions. Rose mumbled about waiting too long when she checked him, then grew frustrated as she tried to remember how to fold the diaper. In her frustration, she overlooked her usual humming and kissing. What was normally an affectionate act became more mechanical as she struggled. Eventually she pinned Jamie up and replaced the dripping plastic pants with a zoo animal diaper cover. “I’ll be back with your bottle,” she told him. Their interaction returned to being warm and cozy and Jamie was sorry when he began sucking air. When bedtime rolled around, Angie was present again to suggest that Rose double diaper Jenny and maybe use a booster or two. She assisted Rose with the task of pushing a pin through the thick fabric layers. “Make sure to check her at her 2:00 feeding,” Angie said. Rose nodded then proceeded to tuck Jamie in, read him a story, and give him his bedtime bottle. Jamie worked late and had been asleep less than an hour when a haggard-looking Rose stumbled into the nursery with a bottle in hand. She groggily climbed into bed and placed the nipple in his mouth, breathing heavily as he suckled. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep, and Jamie soon joined her. Minutes passed until she jolted awake and left the crib and the nursery, not even thinking to check her baby’s diaper. A few more minutes passed until Jamie, still out like a light, dirtied his diaper. Rose overslept. Her first reaction after seeing the time was panic and she hustled into the nursery, where she ran into a wall of stench upon opening the door. Jamie was lying on his side, tears formed at the corners of his eyes. Rose ran to the crib. “Jenny, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby, Mommy’s here,” she cried. Jamie crawled slowly to the changing table. Each movement brought new waves of pain to his bottom and inner thighs. Once he was finally able to hoist himself up and Rose peeled back the many layers of sopping, stinking cloth, she shrieked. “Angie! Millie! Please come here!” Within seconds, Angie and Millie both rushed through the door of the nursery and to Rose’s side. They didn’t need to ask what the issue was. “It’s diaper rash,” Angie said firmly. “And a pretty bad case of it too. Did you change her during the night?” A sobbing, hysterical Rose confessed that she had not. Millie tried to calm her by telling her to take deep breaths, but she was inconsolable. “Millie, why don’t you take her downstairs and make some tea,” Angie suggested. Once she was alone, she turned back to Jamie. “Jamie,” she said softly, deliberately using his male name, “I’m sorry this happened. I should have supervised her a little closer. I know you’re in distress, but diaper rash isn’t the end of the world. You’ll be uncomfortable for a few days but we’ll take every step possible to ease your pain. Please don’t be angry with Rose. She’s trying her best, and in an awful sort of way it’s almost a good thing this happened. Imagine if she’d neglected a real baby in this way. If you’re going to be mad, be mad at me.” Jamie used his tongue to push his ever-present pacifier out of his mouth. “I’m upset with the situation because it hurts,” he said, “but I don’t blame any of you. Please let Rose know that.” Having said his piece, Jamie snatched the tip of the binkie’s bulb with this teeth and pulled it back in. Angie nodded and stroked Jamie’s hair with her hand. “I will, thank you Jenny. Now I’m going to clean you up and put a new diaper under you then use some ointment to soothe your flaming butt. But I’m not pinning on the clean diaper. The best way to treat diaper rash is to leave the affected areas open to the air. If you pee, hopefully most of it will end up in the diaper; if not, that’s what baby wipes and disinfectant are for. The bottom line, so to speak, is that for at least the next few hours you’re staying strapped to this table all exposed. And this is the end of our adult discussion, baby.” The next several minutes were agony for the poor boy as Angie delicately tried to clean his filthy diaper area without causing too much pain. When she finally began patting calendula lotion on his rash, its coolness offered at least a little relief instantaneously. Once done, she left the room without a word, leaving Jamie to stare at the ceiling with nothing to do. In the kitchen, Millie’s efforts to calm Rose down had started to pay dividends, although she was still visibly upset. She looked up at Angie with reddened eyes. Angie drew up a chair. “She’s going to be fine, Rose,” Angie said. “Most importantly, she doesn’t blame you for what happened. Mistakes get made and she understands that. The next few days will be difficult for her but this is where you come in. Continue treating her with love and it will all work out. Now here’s the plan.... At feeding time, Rose propped a pillow under Jamie’s head and fed him a bottle, cooing at him and planting small kisses on his cheeks and forehead. As he drank, a spray of urine began shooting out of his penis, which Rose immediately pointed down into the diaper. She waited patiently for him to finish, then despite the restrictions of the Velcro strap tried to prop him up far enough to burp him, a fruitless endeavor that had both of them giggling. Rose replaced the wet diaper, cleaned pee off of areas Jamie hit before she’d reacted, then laid her face on his chest. “I’m sorry, baby,” she said with a catch in her voice. “And it’ll never happen again. I love you so very, very much, so much more than you can know. Jenny, you’re my special baby and always will be.” They laid there, Rose listening to her baby’s heartbeat, for several moments until Millie approached them. “It’s ready,” she said. Rose led the way as a naked Jamie crawled behind her, Millie trailing with an emergency diaper in hand. Instead of stopping in the living room, or even the kitchen, they proceeded out the door into the back yard. Angie stood there next to a large terry blanket, motioning Rose to lead the baby into its center. Books and toys littered the edges of the blanket. Millie set the cloth diaper she’d been carrying next to Jamie. “Rose, as we discussed, this blanket is made of the same fabric as the diapers she wears. If she potties while on it, which I’m sure she will, it’s no different than her wetting her diaper and we can throw it in the washer with the diapers. If she starts to poop, try to get that diaper under her but if you miss, not a big deal.” Rose had Jamie lie on his stomach in order to expose his butt to the sun. She read him stories, sang to him, and used blocks and rattles to make strange castles. Every so often she’d lie beside him and rub his back or rustle his hair. Once when she played with his earlobes Jamie thought he’d gone to heaven. It was such a pleasant way to pass the afternoon that Jamie almost forgot about his pain. After a few hours the wet spot beneath Jamie had spread to such a degree that the women decided it was time to end the outdoor play session. The group reversed their earlier migration and returned to the nursery, where Angie had arranged the potty chair to sit on top of the desk chair so that Jamie could be strapped in safely and any bathroom needs would fall into the potty while he worked. It wasn’t comfortable but it beat the alternative. As Jamie settled in, Angie spoke to Rose. “You have enough diapers in the pail that there should be a full load once you add the blanket,” she said. “This you can do on your own.” Rose could tell instantly why neither of the other women offered to help. The diapers that had been soaking were putrid to the point she had to check herself from vomiting more than once. They were heavy after absorbing the borax water and it required several trips to haul them down to the laundry room. Disposing of the filthy water left behind was the worst of all, but handling the diapers as she put them into the washer and sprayed them with stain remover was a close second. Once the washer was started, Rose washed her hands over and over was never satisfied that they were clean. The emotions of the day again overtook her. She sat on the bathroom floor and cried. It was Millie who dumped out and replaced Jamie’s potty and Angie who fed Jamie at his desk. Only when it was time for a bottle and bed did Rose reappear, her eyes puffy but with a wan smile on her lips. She gave Jamie a huge hug and held him for a full minute. When it came time to put on his nighttime diaper, she pulled out a disposable. The cloth diapers never made an appearance on his bottom again.
  8. 27. Jamie was becoming more and more concerned about the churning in his bowels. Five or ten minutes ago it was an annoying tickle with an occasional gassy fart. Now he was fighting a series of increasingly painful cramps and his gas felt wet. It may be his imagination, but it felt like there was a buildup of poop moving inexorably downward and pressing against his anus. He was at a pivotal part of his programming. Diverting his attention now meant losing forty minutes of work and having to start over. He concentrated harder on his work as sweat broke out all across his brow. With a small cry of triumph, he reached his goal and saved his work, elated at what he had accomplished. It was as if he had been crossing a winding bridge in a fog for days, only to have the fog part to find himself stepping onto the other side. He breathed a sigh of relief. His elation about reaching a milestone lasted about twelve seconds longer. A crippling cramp hit and he doubled over to fight the pain. Moments later, his bottom erupted and a pasty mass quickly passed into the rear of his diaper, spreading all over and moving up through his crotch as the flow never seemed to stop. Jamie stashed his laptop and laid down on his stomach so as not to mush the diaper’s contents. No matter, it had already filled every conceivable area. Just when it seemed ready to stop, a smaller cramp pushed even more into the mess. At that same moment, his bladder chose to release. The stench was abominable. He was miserable. He peered through the crib rails to the nursery clock. He’d only been “napping” for forty-five minutes but seemed to recall Millie saying something about two hours to Rose as they’d left the room. He couldn’t fathom the idea of sitting in this soaking, stinking diaper for over an hour more. They wanted him to act like a baby. If he swallowed his pride and cried, would the women come running? He looked at the baby monitor only to see that it hadn’t yet been plugged in and the receiver sat next to the transmitter. He was trapped. He knew his rattled mind was in no condition to return to work, or even to surf the internet. He carefully shifted to lie on his back, closed his eyes, and began to daydream pleasant thoughts as a diversion. Lying on a sun-soaked beach, breathing fresh mountain air, bicycling through a pine forest. Calm yourself, Jamie, he thought, breathe slowly and, by necessity, shallow. The next thing he knew he heard voices. “I can’t believe he slept through a blowout of such monstrous proportions,” Millie remarked. “Not only the volume, but the smell.” “That’s what babies do,” Angie said. “And Jenny’s no exception. It’s not her first time, but thankfully you and I aren’t the ones that have to change her.” She looked at Rose, who had fingers pinching her nose, her face pale and her eyes wide. “You might as well get used to it Rose. They’ll be over one hundred more, although mercifully few as bad as this one.” “I think Jenny just encouraged Rose to go into labor early,” Millie laughed. “If only to get out of diaper duty with this stinker.” “All right, dear,” Angie said encouragingly, “you know what to do. The process is the same as with a wet one, only...only...only about a thousand times worse. Try to use her current diaper to contain as much of the mess as possible, then do the cleaning routine. You’re lucky Jenny’s not a squirmy baby or one that wants to get her fingers in there.” By this point, Jamie was wide awake. Rose lowered the side rail, took him by the hand, and helped his out of the crib. Crawling the short distance from the crib to the changing table redistributed the mess, then lying on the changing table pushed it further up his back. Rose teased his lips with a pacifier, which he began sucking without having to be told. He closed his eyes, wishing time to go faster. In fact, time seemed to stand still. Rose quickly became overwhelmed by the task and started crying. Millie moved to her side, whispered words of support, and joined in the cleanup. Before long both women were giggling at off-color comments Millie made as they wiped poop off Jamie’s penis and balls, and eventually the diaper was rolled up and pushed deep into the diaper pail. They hadn’t noticed that Angie had left the room until she walked back in. “This seems like an opportune time for your first bath with baby,” she said. “I’ve taken the liberty to run some warm bathwater. I doubt there’s anything left in her, but let’s try to get her into the tub before she decides to go for a world pooping record.” Even Jamie was pleased at the prospect of a bath. He was sure that between the two of them, Rose and Millie had cleaned every inch of his diaper area, but he still felt filthy. A bath is just what he needed. He crawled quickly in the direction of the hall bathroom but was redirected by Angie. “No, baby. The bathtub in your mommy’s room. That way any remaining stink stays in the family.” Jamie’s crawl through the bedroom that was formerly his was painful. It already seemed to have a different feel, a different smell. What he wouldn’t give to be back in here. He sadly passed through the bathroom door. The scent of flowers arising from the bubbles floating three inches high in the giant, deep tub greeted him. Angie was taking no chances and was making sure that he smelled nice after bath time. “Notice that the water is only about six inches deep,” Angie said to Rose, “and for smaller babies you’ll want even less. Of course at first, they’re so little that you’ll bathe them in a plastic baby bath or the sink. And the most important thing is never, ever leave the room or even turn your back on a young child in water. Now, take this washcloth and baby wash and I assume you know what to do.” Rose dipped the yellow bunny washcloth into the water, soaped it up, and started gently lathering up Jamie’s feet. Jamie luxuriated in the warmth of the water and the feeling of Rose’s touch as she worked her way up his body. He was surprised and concerned at his lack of response as she tugged at his penis and slid the soapy cloth down its length. Soon she was tilting his head back as she poured water over his hear, massaging shampoo into it. I could get used to this, Jamie thought. He turned over as she made a quick wash over his back then spent an inordinate amount of time on his rear. Makes sense, he thought, considering the condition it was in a few minutes ago and what had come out of it. He wished his bath would never end. “I wouldn’t recommend it for the first several days after birth,” Angie was saying, “but bathing with your baby is a great bonding experience for both mother and baby. Skin-to-skin contact not only helps, but makes the baby feel safe. You can’t make the water too warm, though, and make sure you have everything you need within reach.” Jamie hadn’t been listening. He had his eyes closed and wanted to stay in this zone of relaxation for as long as he could. He was shocked, then, when he felt a naked Rose slipping into the tub behind him, wrapping her legs around his and pushing him down slightly so that his head rested on her chest. She began humming softly as she caressed his hair, placing her other hand on his chest and pulling him tight. “We should let Rose and Jenny have a little alone time,” Angie said to a highly disappointed Millie, who was engrossed in the scene unfolding before her. “Rose, not too long now. Baby will get cold.” I don’t think so, thought Jamie, who if anything was overheated at the moment. He and Rose continued their snuggle, with Rose twice using her foot to add more hot water. All too soon, though, she made a motion to stand. Jamie followed her lead then sat on the bathmat as she patted him dry with a large fluffy towel, finally crawling back into the nursery and up onto the changing table. Rose remained nude as she strapped Jamie down and diapered him. Not quite as efficient as Millie, but not bad either. Once he was protected, she took baby lotion and rubbed it over both legs and on his chest. Between that and the scented bubbles, he smelled as infantile and girly as possible. Before choosing an outfit, Rose stared into Jamie’s eyes and let them linger for a long moment, an affectionate smile breaking forth. She leaned down, kissed him on the forehead, then put her mouth to his ear. “I know how weird this must be for you,” she said, “but you can’t possibly realize how much I appreciate what you’re doing for me, and for my baby. I want you to know that I’ll be the best mommy I can be for you and will care for you as if you really were my own.” She kissed Jamie on the cheek, then moved to get an outfit, speaking to him in baby talk as if nothing had just happened. After Jamie bumped down the stairs on his butt, he crawled over to the playpen. Rose paused to gather some toys from the plastic bin then followed him inside, sitting in a position to block any chance of escape. Over the next hour they build towers with blocks before knocking them down again, pushed toy cars around, and played with assorted rattles that spun, squeaked, and changed shapes. Jamie lost himself in the activity. While he would be bored to tears left alone with these toys, Rose’s presence and her constant interaction and words of praise made his time in the playpen actually pleasurable. When she got up at Angie’s bidding to go help prepare dinner, he mourned her leaving and wished he could play some more. In the kitchen, Angie commented on how well both mother and baby seemed to be adapting to their roles. “She’s sweet,” Rose replied, “even when she’s smelly and gross. I already feel like I’ve learned a lot.” “Well, then, on to the next lesson,” Angie said. “Feeding. We’re going to prepare some veggies and fruit for Jenny, but your baby won’t start solid food until about six months. Before then it’ll be bottles, unless you plan to breastfeed?” “I’d like to try,” Rose said, “but I don’t suppose I can practice that with Jenny.” “We’ll see,” Angie responded knowingly. “But for now, let’s see what we can put together for you to spoon feed her. Of course you can buy jars of baby food, but it’s healthier and more economic to make your own. We’re going to try some different combinations of vegetables, fruits, and proteins. Don’t feel like you’re limited to what we might like together as an adult—babies won’t know the difference. If you want to mix asparagus with pears, give it a try. Your child will let you know if you’re going to offer it a second time.” Rose giggled deviously. She didn’t want to be mean but thought it would be fun to see Jenny’s reaction to some novel flavors. Fortunately, Angie and Millie had already steamed a wide variety of food choices. She picked up some prunes and carrots and dumped them into the Vitamix before scraping the resultant mush into one section of the baby plate. Angie raised her eyebrows. “I see you’re taking what I said to heart. It’s probably for the best. That way you’ll get some experience at force feeding a stubborn toddler something she resists eating. I do suggest that your next creation at least be of a different color.” Emboldened by Angie’s statement, Rose took some boiled pieces of chicken breast, several stems of steamed broccoli, and baked sweet potato and pureed it into a greenish mess, placing it next to the prunes and carrots, leaving one empty compartment. “Maybe just some nice, sweet applesauce,” Angie suggested. “To offset what’s sure to be a novel experience with the other two dishes. Then a couple of baby biscuits. We don’t want Jenny to go hungry. In a couple of days after you’ve had your fun and learned about preparing these foods, you’ll be okay with just grinding up whatever the rest of us are having. It won’t look or smell that good, but it should taste fine and we’ll know Jenny is getting the nutrients she needs.” As Rose left the kitchen to fetch Jamie, Angie shook her head and chuckled. This should be interesting, she thought. Rose didn’t need help fixing the usual straps around Jamie’s waist but was puzzled by the additional restraints for his arms. Angie admitted that they weren’t a standard accessory for a baby’s highchair but that sometimes a special needs child that was older and stronger might need them if they were acting up. Given the nature of the meal Rose had prepared for Jenny, she suggested that maybe she should use them this one time. Jamie wasn’t happy to be immobilized but was looking forward to having Rose feed him. He liked the attention of this beautiful young woman when she performed even basic functions for him. It was almost like being pampered in a spa. He smiled at his mommy as she tied a bib around his neck. The pleasure of Rose’s attention vanished with the first mouthful of food she spooned into his mouth. He retched, and when the spoon came around for the second time he tried to push it out with his tongue. Millie soon joined Rose to give her tips on how to get food into an obstinate baby’s mouth and keep it there. It took most of the two combo dishes, alternated with applesauce, for Rose to get comfortable at using tricks on the baby. By the time she broke up the biscuits and hand fed them to Jamie, the entire lower part of his face and the bib were as colorful as an artist’s palate. Before releasing Jamie from the highchair, Rose put her fingers inside the front of his diaper. “She’s wet,” she told the other women. “Should I change her now?” “It’s not that long before bedtime,” Millie answered, “so unless she’s soaked through and on the verge of leaking, she can wait.” Jamie was distressed. He tried to remember if he knew he was peeing himself at any point since his last change. He must have known but just forgot, but this was a development he had to keep an eye on. He may be acting the part of a baby, but he was still an adult and should at least be aware of when he needed to pee. Jamie was led upstairs and allowed to sit at his desk and work until it was time for bed. He once again was so immersed in what he was doing that it surprised him when the door opened and Rose entered the room with a bottle in hand. This time, she was alone. She took his laptop from him and placed it in his crib, then led him to the changing table. Jamie was in heaven as Rose gently cleaned him while she hummed lullabies and blew soft raspberries on his tummy, letting her hair fall across his face. She took her time with the lotion and powder before finally taping the new diaper into place. Once they were together in the crib, she produced a book of nursery rhymes and read a few while she stroked his hair. Finally, she brought the bottle to his lips and held him close while he drank. When he was done, she held him for a few minutes longer, then kissed him on the top of his head and on the tip of his nose. “I love you little Jenny,” she cooed. Jamie watched as she shut off the lights and closed his door behind her, lost in a fog of good feeling. It was twenty minutes before he emerged from his haze and reluctantly got back to work.
  9. 26. Jamie was allowed to wear a young girl’s dress and training panties and to work in his new room with the door closed while Rose moved in and got settled, but was not permitted to attend her orientation meeting with Angie and Millie. He assumed that he’d be the primary topic of conversation at that gathering anyway so he was happy to be left out. As time passed, though, and his bladder began to give off signals that it needed relief, he considered crashing the party. He wouldn’t mind one more session on the potty. Before he could make up his mind the trio of women barged into his room unannounced, startling him and causing a spurt of urine to enter his panties. “Get used to it,” Millie told him when she noticed his irritation, “children and especially babies have no privacy.” “I know you met a couple of days ago under somewhat unusual and wet circumstances,” Angie announced as the four stood grouped in the middle of the room, “but now you can meet more formally, if not any less unusual or wet. Rose and Jamie, or Jenny as she shall now be called, say hello to each other.” The two awkwardly and quietly said hi, each sizing up the other based on what they knew would be taking place over the next period of months. Rose saw a tiny and shy young girl who she still couldn’t imagine was really a man a few years older than herself; she also couldn’t help but observe the slight sag in the crotch of her thick pull-ups. Jamie saw a beautiful woman in shorts and a tank top who he wished he could be meeting under very different circumstances where she’d be introduced to his genitals in a more adult way than cleaning them with baby wipes. After the brief introduction, Rose turned in circles to take in the nursery. It was a remarkable room, where not a single thing any mother or baby could want had been overlooked. Angie offered to take her on a tour, while Millie pulled Jamie aside. “Just so you know, that awful little greeting you just gave Rose were the last adult words she’ll hear coming out of your mouth until after her baby is born. In just a few moments, she’ll be diapering little Jenny’s ass for the first time, and we expect you to be in baby mode starting from the moment you climb up on the changing table. Angie may let you slide on a screw-up or two, but I won’t and I’ve made sure Rose won’t. She may seem reserved, but you don’t want to be on the wrong side of a pregnant woman. She wants a baby to take care of in preparation for her own, and that’s what you’ll be. What you are.” “And last but not least,” Angie said as she and Rose circled back to join the others, “this is your baby. There’s no time like right now to get started on your education, and from the looks of her panties diapering would be the perfect place to start. Jenny, you can strip down and give Millie your clothes before hopping up on the changing table. From that point on, putting on and taking off clothing will no longer be your responsibility.” Jamie turned three shades of red in getting naked in front of a complete stranger. He lost no time in hustling over to the changing table where he was quickly joined by the three women. He moved his hands to cover his crotch, which earned a slap and angry look from Millie, so he placed his arms at his sides. Even after all of the embarrassing moments he’d experienced in this house, he’d never felt so exposed as having three people hovering over his naked body. Rose looked down at her faux baby and studied his penis and balls. The only experience she’d had sexually with a man had been the one-night stand that got her in this situation, but comparing his privates with these confused her. Her baby daddy had a long, thick, turgid penis and a ball sack the size of a small grocery bag. What this poor child had was a tiny caricature of those. His penis wasn’t much bigger than her pinkie and dangled soft and loose and she wasn’t even sure where his balls were. Angie broke her from her reverie. “You’re going to want to strap her in to make sure she doesn’t roll off the table or squirm so much that you have trouble with the diaper,” she said, pulling the strap across Jamie’s chest. “But do it quickly or you may have a puddle to clean up. You need to get a diaper under her almost immediately even if you’re not ready to tape her up yet.” “We think you should start with disposables,” Millie added, “because they’re easier, can stay on longer than cloth, and don’t stink as badly in the diaper pail. We just got this pail in yesterday. See how it wraps the soiled diaper in plastic as you deposit it? With cloth diapers you don’t have that luxury because you’ll need to soak them and then wash them.” Rose picked a diaper up off the shelf, marveling at its size and admiring its cute baby animal design. She opened it up and started to slide it under Jamie’s bottom. “Uh-huh,” Millie said. “The tapes go in the rear. Also, you’re going to want to fluff it up first, like this. That unpacks the fibers in the diaper so that they’re more absorbent. It also poofs out Jenny’s bottom in a most adorable way.” Rose nodded and, with a little help from Jamie’s raising his rear, managed to get the diaper positioned. Millie took her hand and guided it to raise the front of the diaper to lay loosely over his penis. “Don’t forget to do that,” Millie reminded her, “or you may need to change your blouse.” “Next you want to clean her with baby wipes,” Angie said. “I ordered large ones to make your job easier. You’ll use smaller ones on your own baby. Be gentle but don’t be afraid to rub a little harder if you need to. Make sure you get into every crease because that’s where pee and poo like to hide. Use one wipe for the rear and push a wipe-covered finger up there. You’re going to want a fresh wipe for the front to avoid infection.” Jamie jumped as he felt Rose’s finger go far up his rear. This was the longest diaper change, ever, he thought. He began to appreciate Millie’s efficiency. He shuddered when he felt Rose take hold of his penis, the cold wipe causing it to wither. “That’s right,” Angie commented encouragingly. “Make sure to lift it up to get right under...oops!” Angie and Millie giggled as a gush of urine sprayed onto Rose’s hand before running down his balls and into the waiting diaper. Rose looked horrified. Jamie knew nothing of what he had done and wondered what had happened to cause all of the excitement. “It’s okay, dear,” Angie said with a smile. “Just use another wipe to clean your hand up. You can leave her strapped in once you’re done to wash up with soap. For now, though, you need to finish the job. It’s just a little pee. You don’t need a new diaper.” Rose continued to wipe, then slathered Jamie with a pink, fragrant lotion, coating his bottom and his front. He began to feel aroused as she stroked his penis with her slippery hand, but a nasty frown from Millie’s direction was all it took for it to shrink back down. Rose ended with powder—way too much powder—then taped him up. “In the future it’s best if you clean off your hands with another wipe before handling the tapes,” Millie instructed, “because the lotion and powder can interfere with how sticky they are. But overall, very good job. You’ll be a pro in no time. How long before your due date? Two months or so? That’s probably 250 to 300 diapers. By that time you’ll be able to change a diaper in your sleep. Which frankly you’ll end up doing sometimes.” “Now the fun part,” Millie said. “Picking an outfit for the day. Or at least until she spits up, pees, poops, or otherwise soils this one. I suggest starting with a onesie. They’re practical and relatively easy to put on, plus they come in all sorts of cute styles.” Rose was giddy as she searched through the closing filling the drawers of the dresser. For fun, she also studied every dress hanging in the closet. She finally settled on a onesie with a pink and yellow giraffe on the chest and pink trim. “Good choice,” Angie told her. “Now with smaller babies you can slip it on over their head while they’re still lying down, but with this one you’ll need to have her sit up, then lie back down again to snap the crotch.” Rose had no problems getting the garment on and picked out some plain yellow socks with lace to put on Jamie’s feet. Millie handed her a pacifier and showed her how to snap the holder onto the collar of the onesie. Rose giggled as she again saw how big the bulb of the binkie was. She helped Jamie down off the changing table, where he stood for a few seconds before Millie put her hand on his shoulder and guided him to the floor. “Babies crawl,” she whispered in his ear. “Why don’t I show you how to prepare a bottle downstairs?” Angie said to Rose. “Millie can watch Jenny for a few minutes.” “My guess is that nap time is on the agenda once you finish your yummy formula,” Millie said with a grin. “So you might want to crawl over to your desk and grab your laptop to put it in your crib.” Jamie struggled to crawl using only one hand as he brought his computer over to the crib. He handed it to Millie, who pushed it under one of his pillows. “Smart girl,” Millie remarked, “not standing up and letting a grownup handle your toy instead. Now before they get back, I need to do something. Lay down on your back, I’ll only be a second.” Jamie did as he was asked, not even trying to guess what Millie had in store. Millie returned with one hand gloved up and shiny with Vaseline. She knelt down, undid two of the crotch snaps, and pushed her hand past the gathers of his right leg. For the second time in five minutes, Jamie felt a finger go up his ass. Millie withdrew it quickly and snapped him back up. The entire procedure, whatever she did, took only a few seconds. Jamie was curious but knew not to use real words. A few minutes passed before the women returned, Rose carrying an oversized baby bottle in her hand. Angie threw a furtive glance at Millie, who nodded. Both women smiled. The sooner Rose experienced a dirty diaper, the better. Like throwing a child into the deep end of a swimming pool. Rose beckoned Jamie over to the nursing couch, where she first helped Jamie up and into a prone position, then sat down next to his head. He lifted up and scooted so that he was comfortably on her lap, face nestled closely to her chest. Under Angie’s coaching, Rose managed to get the bottle’s nipple into Jamie’s mouth, putting her arm around his shoulder and tilting his head toward her. Jamie’s cheek was now pushed up against Rose’s left breast and his nose touched skin. If he felt anything sexual, though, it was quickly doused when the first drops of a horrifically awful fluid assaulted his taste buds. He impulsively started to pull away but the nipple was expertly pushed back into his mouth. He had no choice and began to suckle. After what seemed like an hour, he was sucking air. “There may be times where you’ll want a second bottle of juice if you think she’s dehydrated,” Angie told Rose. “It means more wet diaper changes but you don’t want Jenny to be thirsty. Now drape this burping cloth over your shoulder like this, then have her right like this. I like to rub circles on a baby’s back but you can also pat it.” After five minutes of trying different methods of burping the baby, Jamie produced a soft wet belch, curdled milk running down his chin. Rose struggled a bit to move him to where she could wipe his face clean but managed. She kissed him on the forehead and whispered “Good baby, Jenny, what a good girl for Mommy. Mommy loves you.” Proudly, she led him to the crib where Angie explained the mechanics of raising and lowering the side rails. Rose tucked him in. “We forgot to pull out the baby books,” Millie noted, “but you can read to her at bedtime. Now, let’s get some tea and snacks and you can ask any questions you have.” The trio closed the door behind them. A nanosecond later Jamie sat up, retrieved his laptop, and got back to work on designing an fantasy figure. Ten minutes later, while he was engrossed in what he was doing, his stomach began to gurgle in his intestinal area. It wouldn’t be long before Jamie would no longer be able to ignore the demands of his body, but for now he was simply happy to be alone again.
  10. 25. “But it’s not fair,” Jamie whined for the hundredth time. “Why should I have to give up my room? I have a lease.” “And if you read that lease,” Angie responded, trying to stay calm, “you’ll see that it entitles you to a room, not that particular room. I know you’ve settled in, but you’ll do the same over time in your new room.” She was careful not to call it the ‘nursery.’ “You have to understand that Rose is at the stage in pregnancy where the baby is sitting on her bladder and she needs to be close to a bathroom at all times. Besides,” she continued with a sardonic grin, “it’s not like you’ve used the toilet in that bathroom even once in the past few months.” Jamie winced at her comment. Using the potty chair had become so routine that it hadn’t really dawned on him that he hadn’t peed or pooped in an adult toilet in ages. His hand subconsciously crept down to his crotch where he could feel the dampness between his legs. He knew he was already on shaky ground with Angie, who if she wanted to could evict him due to his failure to disclose his bathroom issues, or at least try to. Still, he absolutely did not want to go back into that room even once, much less call it his own bedroom. Before he could continue pleading his case, Angie continued. “So it’s settled,” she said decisively. “And since Rose is moving in tomorrow we need to get your possessions transferred next door. The good news is that you don’t have that much, and Millie and I will help you.” At that same moment, Millie walked into the room carrying a few cardboard boxes and packing tape. “Why don’t you gather up all of your bathroom necessities,” she told Jamie. “Angie can start on moving your diapers and pretty outfits while I pack up your boy clothes.” Angie was right, it didn’t take long, and ten minutes later all three were working on hanging up Jamie’s dresses in the closet, folding and storing his onesies, rompers, and playsuits in the drawers, and finding room next to Millie’s makeup and tampons in the hall bathroom for his razor, deodorant, and toothbrush. When everything seemed to be put away, Jamie stood in the middle of the room looking confused. “Where are my jeans and shirts?” he asked no one in particular. “I didn’t see where Millie put them. And are there already sheets on the Murphy bed?” Angie and Millie exchanged glances. The time had come. “Jamie,” Angie said somberly, “we need to talk. I’m sure you don’t need to be told that your bladder and bowel issues have been a sore point for me. I’ve been patient while you try to get it under control and Millie has been an angel in assisting you, but instead of making progress you’ve actually gotten worse. Just last night Millie made a chart detailing your successes and failures, including statistics on the condition of your panties at various times of the day, full out wettings, the relative wetness of your overnight diaper, and more. Just seeing everything on paper made one thing clear: you have no more ability to use the potty effectively than a two-year-old still in diapers.” Angie paused to consider how to word what she had to say, giving Jamie a chance to intervene. Millie hushed him, moved to his side, pushed a pacifier in his mouth, and put her arm around his shoulders, running her hand through his hair. Tears formed at the corners of Jamie’s eyes. He was sure he was about to be evicted and visions of living on the streets flooded his thoughts. “I have every right to tell you to start looking for another place,” Angie went on, not completely sure if that was actually true. “But Millie talked me out of it. We like you Jamie, but if you’re going to stay here it has to be under a new set of rules. Besides, any future landlord would ask for my recommendation and I’d be legally obligated to show them Millie’s chart, and maybe even a few of the pictures we have from when Agata dressed you that day. I doubt things would work out in your favor.” Jamie began to quietly sob and buried his head into Millie’s chest as she pulled him closer. Millie nodded encouragement to Angie, who was about to turn his world upside down. “So here’s my proposal,” Angie said, “and it’s non-negotiable. At first you’ll think it’s the craziest thing you ever heard and your knee-jerk reaction will be to say no. But once you reflect on it, you’ll realize its advantages and that you may come to appreciate the accommodation we’re making for you. Also, it’s either agree to it or start packing. “From this day forward, until Millie and I agree that you’re ready to restart potty training, you’ll be in diapers full time, 24/7. The potty chair will be stored away and the grown-up toilet will be off limits. Like any other infant, you’ll do all of your pee-pees and poo-poos in your pants. And you will not be allowed to ask to be changed or even give any indication that you need to be changed. Obviously this means that you may end up sitting in your mess for long periods of time. We’ll try to check on you often but adults sometimes get busy. As you might expect, this also means that you may have your dress lifted up or get the back of your diaper pulled back in public, but it’s either that or risk diaper rash.” Jamie’s jaw dropped and his pacifier fell to the floor. Millie picked it up and gently pushed it back into his mouth, whispering “It’s going to be fine” as she hugged him tightly. Angie took a breath and continued. “Because you’ll be in diapers like a baby, you can expect that we’ll need to take some precautions to preserve the furniture and rugs. Your desk chair will be replaced with one with a waterproof seat, to which we’ll add restraints. Babies need to be constantly supervised, especially to prevent them from breaking the rules, but that’s impractical for now in this household. So when we can’t be with you, such as when you’re working on your laptop, you’ll be immobilized. After all, there’s no need for you to get up to use the bathroom. Any other time you’ll also need to be where you won’t damage anything if you leak or have a blowout. That means playpen instead of couch, highchair instead of kitchen chair, car seat when we go out, and of course the crib with its rubber sheet. “You asked about your big boy clothes. They’ve been stored neatly in boxes and put into the attic. We’ll need to have easy access to your diapers at all times, so you’ll be in baby clothes until you regain the privilege of using the toilet. And unfortunately not the little girl outfits meant for nine- and ten-year-olds. You’ll be in baby and toddler clothing, meaning if you’re not in a dress your crotch will most likely have snaps for easier changes. We have several outfits now, but will need to get more because I expect you’ll be need to be wearing them for quite some time.” Jamie finally found his voice if not his nerve. “But...but how long are you talking about? It sounds like you’re anticipating more than a week or two. And what will Rose think of all this? Does she have to know?” Angie smiled at his naivete. “Yes, based on where you are with your toileting skills, I’m guessing a minimum of four months but maybe more. Hopefully you’ll be well on your way to pull-ups by the time your lease is up. And as to Rose, that’s the good news. She already saw you flood your pants so it won’t be a surprise to her that we’ve put you back in diapers. Although,” Angie said as she looked directly at Jamie’s crotch, “we’ll have to prepare her for something else she may not expect. “But I think you’ll like this next part, and it’s also mandatory if you choose to remain here. Rose expressed concern that she’s not prepared to be a mother. The solution is obvious. She needs to learn how to care for a baby, and neither Millie nor I have the time to devote to the constant needs of an infant. Rose will essentially be your mommy from tomorrow until she has her baby. That means two things. One, you’ll be treated like a baby in more ways than just diapers. She needs to learn how to give you a bottle, feed you while in the highchair, bathe you, dress you, play with you, and deal with leaky diapers, spit up, and 2:00 a.m feedings. And you will cooperate. With Rose, you will be nothing more than a drooly, stinky, needy baby and you’ll act the part or you’re out the door. Second, what she says and does goes. Even if it doesn’t make sense. I expect you’ll get lots of cuddles and kisses, but if you misbehave you may also get times out and spankings. “She’ll make mistakes. The first time she tries to cloth diaper you, you may end up sleeping on poopy sheets. She may forget to burp you or may not change you often enough, so you discover the misery of diaper rash. And so on. It’s part of the learning process for both of you. But overall I think you deep down crave attention. You appear to be a loner as well as lonely. You each will get something you need. She gets experience and you get loving attention from a pretty young woman, even if not quite in the way you’d prefer. And it may sound overwhelming, but we will make concessions. You’ll be given plenty of time to do your programming, albeit in a diaper and onesie. And even if your bedtime is 8:00, once Rose tucks you in you can use your laptop in the crib. The only thing that will change is that instead of trips to the potty, you’ll get your diaper changed. There’ll be more time needed for feedings and playtime, but overall you’ll end up with just as much work time as before.” Jamie was stunned. He knew he didn’t really have a choice unless going back to the fleabag hotel was a more attractive option that being babied, and he knew he’d regret that decision. Still, he was looking for a loophole or at the very least to set some limits. “But if I agree to this,” he said hesitantly, not yet willing to reveal that he was backed into a corner from which there was no escape, “it stays among us, right? Just the two of you and Rose?” Angie looked at him with pity. “No dear, I’m afraid not. You can’t expect to stay inside these four walls until you’re out of diapers. We’ll try to minimize your exposure in public, but Rose will need to experience diaper changes in the ladies’ room or on a park bench, or a fussy baby who needs her bottle or breast at the most inconvenient time. And when Rose needs to go to her doctor, she’ll be taking you with her. In short, we’ll do our best not to cause you embarrassment, but it’s inevitable in order to give Rose a true education in being a parent. Okay, you’ve had time to process all of this. I need your decision. Now.” I'm taking the next two days off from posting for Christmas, next installment will be up on Tuesday. To those who celebrate, wishing you and yours a joyful and happy holiday.
  11. 24. Given the amount of upheaval that had been compressed into a short period of time since Jamie arrived on the scene, all three residents of the home were relieved that as the days passed and turned into weeks, which turned into a month, everyone settled into a drama-free routine. Angie put the finishing touches on the special needs room and Millie took it upon herself to regularly take Jamie to the potty, where he eventually got used to her presence so that he was able to urinate while she looked on. Jamie made a great deal of progress on the development of his game, to the point where he was almost ready to start stringing scenes together into a cohesive story. He pushed the embarrassment of his infantilization at the hands of Agata and the subsequent outing to the pancake house out of his mind, just two more incidents in his life best to be forgotten. Millie, however, had not forgotten. Her baby fever continued to rage and she savored the memory of Jamie in his soiled diaper and extremely girlish toddler dress, and even missed the infantile smell of dirty diapers in the house. Wiping Jamie’s bottom and pouring out the bowl of his potty chair did little to satisfy her urges. Were it not for Angie’s more temperate attitude, she wasn’t sure what she would be doing. She did convince Jamie to spend more time in dresses on the pretext that he’d have a better chance of making it onto the potty if the urge came on suddenly than if he had to unbutton a pair of jeans. She also continued to chart Jamie’s success rate on the potty. Overall he was doing well, but the frequency of his combination ejaculation-urination episodes rose for the first few weeks after they had begun, causing Jamie to have to change his training pants midday. He wouldn’t notify Millie of this, but she would of course notice the different panties at the first potty trip after he changed. She never once revealed that she knew what he was doing, but she did note it in her journal and when Jamie was otherwise occupied, would examine the condition of the panties in his hamper. Eventually there was no ejaculate in his crotch, but his wetting episodes and need to change during the day continued all the same, which Millie found intriguing. The period of welcome monotony came to an end when Angie told Millie that a potential new tenant was coming by for an interview. Her story was typical and fit into Angie’s preferred profile exactly. Seven months pregnant, shunned by her family, low on funds and soon to be evicted, and most of all young, scared, and ignorant about what it meant to be a mother. She still needed to come by for a face-to-face talk, but unless she admitted to a drug addiction or showed some other sign that she wouldn’t fit in, she’d be joining the three current residents. “What does that mean for Jamie?” Millie asked after Angie broke the news to her. “Will he be keeping his room?” “I don’t see why not,” Angie replied. “She can use the Murphy bed in the nursery and everything there is ready for the addition of a baby, albeit a larger one than a newborn. The only disadvantage is the fact that there’s no bathroom in that room, so she’d be sharing the hallway bathroom with you. We’ll just have to wait to see how that works out. “If it’s okay with you,” Angie continued, “I’d like you to sit in on the interview. Your perspective as a former unwed pregnant woman looking for refuge here will be invaluable, and it’s always good to have a second opinion. She’s coming at 2:30 tomorrow afternoon.” “Of course,” Millie replied. “I’d like to meet her anyway. “I’ll be there.” Neither woman thought to tell Jamie. The next day continued uneventfully, although after lunch the two women took extra time to clean the kitchen after Jamie retreated to his room. It was ten minutes shy of 2:30 when the doorbell rang and Angie opened the door to the vision of a young woman with long brunette hair tied in a scrunchie and a large protruding baby bump, visibly shaking with nerves. Angie pulled her into a hug, told her that she was safe, and escorted her to the kitchen where Millie was waiting with hot tea and cookies. “Millie, this is Rose,” Angie said. “Rose, Millie. She’s one of the other tenants here.” The interview began with Angie telling Rose about what the home offered and proceeded with Angie drawing out her background and personal details from the nervous and quiet young woman. She had just turned twenty-two, the baby’s father had skipped town and she had no idea where he was, her family had cut her off and offered no financial support, she left college when she couldn’t afford the tuition, and she had to quit her job when her employer wouldn’t make accommodations for her pregnancy. She planned to go back part-time to get her degree after the baby came and would find work that she could do remotely. About thirty minutes into the interview, Jamie walked into the kitchen looking for Millie, a concerned look on his face. He was wearing a short skater-style dress and his hair was still in the ponytails Millie had put it in when she brushed his hair earlier that day. He stopped short when he saw that they had a guest. He stood with his knees together and his legs were quivering. “Jamie, this is Rose,” Angie said. “Rose, Jamie came to us a couple of months ago. Jamie, why don’t you say hello.” “Hhhh..iii..,” Jamie stammered. “Millie, can I see you for a minute? In the living room?” “Is it an emergency?” Millie asked pleasantly, knowing from his body language and desperate look on his face exactly what he wanted. “We’re in the middle of talking with Rose, who may be joining us. I’m sure whatever it is you need can wait.” Jamie backed out of the kitchen, but not before grabbing his crotch with one hand. Millie and Angie exchanged knowing glances. “Oh, you have a little girl staying here?” Rose asked, which seemed to open her up a little. “She’s cute. How old is she, like eight or nine?” Angie deflected the question and moved back on track with the interview. “One thing that worries me,” Rose told the women once they were done asking her questions and had asked if there was anything she wanted to know or if she had any concerns. “I never babysat growing up and I’m the youngest sibling in my family. I’ve never even changed a diaper. I don’t know how to prepare a bottle or give a baby a bath. Is there any way that you can help me learn basic mothering skills so that I’m at least a little prepared when my baby comes?” Jamie chose that time to reenter the kitchen, this time almost bent over in pain and his face in utter panic, a few drops of sweat beading on his forehead. “Millie, please...” he whined. “Jamie, I said I’d be with you in a minute,” Millie said. “We’re almost done here. Why don’t you join us and introduce yourself to Rose since it appears that she’ll be moving in soon.” As she spoke, Millie rose from her chair and clutched Jamie’s forearm, pulling him slightly in the direction of the table. The sudden movement was all it took for Jamie to lose control, and the floodgates opened. He gasped as he froze in place, a torrent of urine flooding his training pants before gliding down both legs and puddling on the floor. Three pairs of eyes stared at him in disbelief from the table. Rose felt like she should look away to save the girl embarrassment but couldn’t tear her eyes away. As the last few drops were falling, Millie got up from the table. “Don’t go anywhere and try not to move,” she hissed as she bypassed the puddle of pee and left the kitchen. “I’m afraid Jamie doesn’t yet fully understand the concept of the potty,” Angie told Rose as Jamie cringed in embarrassment. “But she’s trying. Some days are better than others, but nighttime is still a lost cause. You’ll reach this stage with your own child someday, but hopefully long before she enters kindergarten.” Millie reentered the kitchen carrying a pair of plastic pants, baby wipes, a pair of flowered flip flops, and the plastic mat from under the potty chair. She had Jamie raise one foot at a time so that she could wipe their bottoms before she had him take a giant step onto the mat. Once there, she raised the plastic panties up his legs to hold in the dripping urine then slipped on the sandals. She took his hand and led him out of the kitchen. By the time she returned, Angie had mopped up the puddle and wiped down the mat, returning it to its original place in the living room. “Rose volunteered to help you with Jamie’s potty training,” she told Millie, “but she’ll need to watch you several times before she’ll feel comfortable doing it on her own. “I’d appreciate that,” Millie told Rose. “Maybe you’ll have better luck that I’ve had. Now, sorry for that interruption, but what were we talking about before Niagara Falls?” “I was saying that I wish there was a way to practice taking care of a baby before my own little one is born,” Rose reminded her. “Because I could really use the experience.” Millie and Angie looked at each other and smiled, the same idea having occurred to each of them. “I think we can make that happen,” Angie said. “Now, I want to officially welcome you to the family. When can you move in?”
  12. 23. “Before you start, though,” Angie continued, “you might want to take that pacifier out of your mouth. Also, although Agata didn’t tell me much, I couldn’t help but notice the highchair in the kitchen, baby bottles and baby plate in the dish drainer, and heavily soiled bibs on the counter. Not to mention a pungent odor of dirty diaper in the air. I’m sure other clues as to what went on while we were gone are in other areas of the house, so it’s in your best interest not to leave anything out. No, don’t get out of the playpen. If you leak, it’s the best place for you to be.” Jamie did his best to explain—and justify—the events of the past day and a half, starting with his lost voice. Millie seemed unconvinced, noting that he seemed to have no issues talking today. Angie grilled him on why he couldn’t have found another way to reach out to Agata. Jamie tried to convey his feeling of helplessness and how at every turn his efforts to reign in the babysitter were impeded and that the language difference exasperated even the smallest opportunity to communicate. The women remained unpersuaded and Jamie himself had to admit that his explanation, when viewed in retrospect, made it sound like he put up little or any resistance to his babification. In the end, he couldn’t be sure where the two women stood as to the verity of his story. “Well, there are a few good things that came out of all this,” Angie concluded. “First, the highchair is a much more sensible addition to the kitchen than that useless booster. At the very least, unlike the table, the tray will be at your level. Also, I’m glad you were able to test out the crib and some of the accessories we have for older special needs children, and I want to get your feedback on those. First, though, I think you need to be changed. Let’s head upstairs.” Angie led the way with Jamie following and Millie trailing behind. With each step up, the stench of used diapers intensified until at the top landing it permeated every pore of the group. Both Angie and Millie plugged their noses as they entered the nursery to find the source of the odor. “Oh my god,” Angie said when she saw the makeshift diaper pail overflowing with wet and dirty diapers and plastic pants. A small stack of damp, used clothing sat at its base. “I didn’t know she used cloth diapers on you. What a stench! Jamie, you hop up here and let me get you strapped down while Millie and I do something about this.” Even between the two of them, the wastebasket was too heavy with the Borax-infused water to carry downstairs to the laundry room. They ended up using a plastic hamper to bring the disgusting loads down in shifts, until the only stinky diaper remaining was pinned around Jamie’s loins. Millie brought a disposable in from Jamie’s room. “Oh sure, now you object to daytime diapers,” she told Jamie crossly in response to his reaction in seeing the diaper. “I’m sorry, sweetie, but until we can make sure that you have at least some control left, you stay padded. The evidence we just hauled downstairs suggests otherwise.” Millie pulled down Jamie’s plastic panties and unpinned his diaper, holding back a wretch as she did so. Once again she found herself cleaning up his mess, but as she scraped and wiped it away, she smiled. “Ang, come here, you need to see this.” A minute later Angie was at her side. “Oh my,” she said, observing Jamie’s hairless groin area. “It does make sense and I’m glad Agata took the initiative. Healthier and easier to clean, although it does make his appendage look much smaller. Well, hand me that diaper and the panties and I’ll get a load of wash going. Then the three of us are going out to lunch to give the house a chance to air out. Leave her dress on. If she likes being treated like a baby so much, there’s no sense hiding her from the rest of the world.” Jamie’s protests fell on deaf ears; it was no different from pleading with someone who didn’t understand English. Millie added some blush to his cheeks and a touch of mascara to accentuate his eyelashes. Shoes were an issue until Angie was able to dig out a pair of black pumps resembling Mary Janes from the lost and found box. To everyone’s surprise, they were actually big on Jamie’s feet, forcing him to take tiny steps to keep them from falling off. Millie giggled at the fact that his gait now resembled that of a real toddler trying not to fall. Jamie continued to whine as they walked to Millie’s car, forcing Angie to push the pacifier still dangling from his collar into his mouth. “Keep that in until it’s time to eat,” she warned him. “And stop complaining unless you want a spanking in front of everyone, little one.” As they drove, the two women chatted as if nothing unusual were happening, just two adults out with their toddler daughter or niece. Jamie ignored their conversation, although he did hear the part where Millie worried about getting a ticket for not having him in a car seat. He tuned them out when that thought triggered their curiosity about whether anyone made a seat big enough for him, hoping that they were speaking hypothetically. All too soon, they pulled into the parking lot of a pancake house. Jamie panicked as they had to drive around it twice before a space opened for them to pull into. He briefly considered bolting but not only was he having trouble walking, where would he go dressed like a three-year-old? His only hope in avoiding catastrophic humiliation was to play along and hope that no one would look beyond anything but the dress, pacifier, and other trappings of a little girl in guessing his age and gender. Angie took his hand as the crossed the parking lot. Millie again walked behind them, an oversized purse slung over her shoulder, laughing to herself. Jamie would just die, she thought, if he knew that his diaper was on clear display under the back of his dress as he walked. She wondered if his fear of discovery had already made him piddle in it. She’d have to find a way to check once they were inside the restaurant. “Well aren’t you just the sweetest little thing! I love your dress and your hair, it’s so pretty!” The hostess began gushing as soon as Jamie made his way through the door, then turned Angie. “We have a table just opening up, if you can give us a minute. Now I don’t think we have a highchair big enough for your daughter, but would you like a booster seat?” “I think she’ll be fine in the booth, thank you,” Angie replied. It was more like three or four minutes before they were led to their table. The entire time, Jamie felt like every eye in the place was on him. As they walked past other tables, one girl in a Disney princess dress stood up on her seat and pointed at him. He could only hope it was the dress she was singling out. When they got to their booth, the hostess was busy spreading a rubbery matt over the far portion of the seat on one side, directing Angie to have Jamie sit there. She must have noticed Jamie’s confusion and lowered her face down to his. “I know you’re a big girl, sweetheart, but this is our ‘just in case’ mat, just in case you have a little accident.” She made no effort to keep her voice down, causing diners at nearby tables to look in their direction. Rather than draw even more attention to himself, Jamie scooted over and sat in the center of the mat. Angie took a seat across from him and Millie one at his side. A young waitress arrived at their table and placed water glasses and silverware in front of the two women but nothing by Jamie. “Does she have a sippy cup or a bottle?” the server asked Millie. “I could put some juice in it for her.” “I’m afraid we forgot it,” Millie said. “Are you able to put some apple juice in a plastic cup with a lid?” “Of course,” the young woman responded. She took orders for two coffees. “I’ll be right back with menus.” She returned shortly, placing large, plasticized menus in front of the two women. “Would she like a children’s menu?” she asked Millie. “No thanks,” Millie replied with a grin. “If you could just give her a cup of dried cereal and an extra plate, she can share my food.” Angie snickered as the waitress took their orders and left the table. “You see, Jenny, this is what being a little toddler girl is like. Are you sure this is what you want?” “I never said I wanted to be a baby, or a girl!” Jamie protested, his words muffled by the presence of the pacifier in his mouth. “I just want to be myself and to be left alone to do my work.” He wanted to say more, but the waitress returned with their drinks, placing a small plastic cartoon cup with a bent straw in front of Jamie. “Would you like some crayons to draw with, cutie?” she asked him in baby talk. Jamie shook his head but was overruled by Millie. “She’d love some. Can you thank the nice lady, Jenny?” Jamie gave her a disgusted look but mumbled something that could have sounded like thank you. “Sounds like someone is a Miss Grumpy Pants,” Millie announced. “Are you wet, dear? Do you need your diaper changed? Kneel on the seat for me Jenny and let me check.” Jamie balked, an astonished look on his face. He didn’t move an inch and didn’t plan to until Angie intervened. “What did I say about a spanking, little girl? I’ll lift your dress up so that everyone sees your diapered bottom and give you swats right here at the table. Now obey Auntie Millie.” Reluctantly, angrily, Jamie kneeled facing Millie. She took her time putting her hand where she could squeeze his crotch, then snuck two fingers inside his leg gather. To her surprise, he was soaked. The young waitress took that time to return to refill the coffee cups, observing Millie’s actions. “My cousin’s slow to potty train, too,” she told Millie sympathetically. “If you need to change her, there’s one of those wall things in the ladies’ room.” “I think that’s just what someone needs to teach her a little lesson,” Angie said after the server had left. “Millie, do you want to do the honors?” Angie kind of wanted to do this herself but she could tell that Millie’s enthusiasm exceeded her own. “Of course. Come along, Jenny. Let’s get you in some clean britches.” She helped an abashed Jamie scoot out and took his hand. This time, it wasn’t his imagination that they were being watched by many of the other diners as they made their way to the bathroom. Jamie was petrified. Before his trip to the mall, he’d never been inside a woman’s restroom and he had no desire to repeat that experience. Most of all he didn’t want to be exposed while in there. Millie’s grip on his hand tightened and she forcefully pulled him into the room and its flurry of activity. Middle school aged girls giggled and gossiped as they primped and fixed their makeup and hair in front of the mirror. Two older women were washing their hands, and a few women of around Millie’s age were waiting for stalls to open. Off to the side, a door was labeled “For Nursing Mothers.” Jamie stared at it, astonished at how much this differed from a typical men’s room. His gaze at the room for breastfeeding didn’t go unnoticed. “Yearning to be back at Agata’s breast, Jenny?” Millie asked playfully. “Maybe we could go in there and see if one of the mothers has extra milk.” Jamie turned white as a sheet. Millie laughed then lowered the changing table off the wall, instructing Jamie to hop up. She strapped him in then lifted the hem of his dress, telling him to hold it. Before she could untape his diaper, a shadow moved over them. “She’s adorable,” a pretty young woman with long, flowing hair remarked as she looked down at Jamie. “I bet you’ll be happy when you no longer need to associate going out to eat with wet and poopy diaper changes in the ladies’ room.” Millie laughed. “You bet. I think this one resists the potty just to spite me.” The other woman joined in the mirth then moved on. Millie quickly reached into her purse and pulled out a clean diaper, which she rested on Jamie’s chest. “No wipes this time, it takes too long. You cooperate and I’ll make the switch quickly.” Jamie nodded vigorously. Millie checked that no one was hovering or looking in their direction, then pulled the wet diaper out from under him and positioned the new one, barely folding the front portion over his privates before they were surrounded by the middle school girls. “She’s so cute!” one girl with braces on her teeth squealed. “We all do babysitting. Let me give you our number. As Millie turned to accept it, another girl made funny faces at Jamie, who remained impassive. “Whew,” Millie sighed as the girls exited through the door. “Let’s get you taped up and back to the table. I’ll bet our food is there waiting for us.” She finished up, rolled up the used diaper, and disposed of it. The woman with the long hair agreed to watch Jamie while Millie washed her hands. Millie was correct, their food was at their table. At Jamie’s spot a small bowl of Cheerios sat alongside a child’s plate with a bit of egg from Angie’s meal on it as well as a plastic disposable bib which Millie tied around his neck. As soon as Millie was settled, she cut up a piece of her French toast into tiny pieces and used her hands to transfer them to Jamie’s plate next to the eggs. “Babies use their fingers,” Angie told him when she noticed him looking for a fork. “And you need to make your juice all gone like a good gi It was the first non-pureed food Jamie had had in two days and he ate what was put before him hungrily. Soon all three had finished, but Angie and Millie lingered over their coffee. Out of pure boredom, Jamie began coloring the rabbit on the page left by the waitress. He didn’t notice the wink shared between his two tablemates. “Do a good job on the bunny, Jenny,” Millie told him. “Mommy and Auntie will put it on the fridge when we get home.” Her comment almost made him stop, but one glance at Angie showed spanking in her eyes so he continued. He barely noticed when Millie reached over and put the pacifier back between his lips. At long last, they left the restaurant and headed home. The release of stress hit Jamie hard and he soon fell asleep. Angie looked at Jamie. “Was he really wet? That soon after you changed him?” “Soaked,” Millie answered. “I think we need to have a discussion soon about whether we need to go in a different direction with his potty training. If anything, he’s regressing.” “Probably the effects of his medication,” Angie added, “but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. Let’s give it a few days and see where things stand.” When they arrived home, the odor of the diapers had lessened but wasn’t yet completely gone. Angie went to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer, Millie scrolled through her phone, and Jamie grabbed his laptop from the crib to recharge it and make up for lost time. Each of them, though, couldn’t put the events of the last two days and what it meant for the future out of their mind.
  13. 22. Jamie shifted once more, trying fruitlessly to ignore the sopping, messy fabric between his legs. He was uncomfortable and bored. The programs on the tv held little interest for him, although it may have appeared that he was entranced by the endless drivel aimed at the diapered viewer because it was still better than nothing. He wondered what it would take to encourage Agata to change him. Wasn’t she bothered by the smell? About that same time, Agata looked up from her book to notice that the program Jamie was so intently watching was nearing an end. She’d lost track of time and was surprised that ninety minutes had passed since she began to read. She should probably get back to the job she was hired for. Certainly the baby needed changing, but there were a few tasks she needed to do first. She walked through the kitchen and opened the door to the basement, knowing that some families hid their child’s diaper pail on the landing out of view, and at least partially to mask the odor. All she found as a standard plastic tall kitchen wastebasket without a top. Better than nothing she thought as she proceeded to bring it upstairs to place it next to the changing table. Searching the hallway closet, among all of the bath towels and cleaning supplies she found some Borax. She shook a generous amount into the newly-anointed diaper pail, added warm water, and stirred it in with her hand. One chore done. Next she turned her attention to the high chair. To Agata, it was inconvenient to have it up here in the nursery when it should be in the kitchen where food was prepared and the baby could be fed at mealtime along with the rest of the family. Presumably it had been stored up here before Jamie’s arrival and Angie wasn’t strong enough to carry it downstairs. Agata would do her a favor and bring it to the kitchen for her. She brought the tray down first, which was easy. The chair itself was wood, so it was heavy and cumbersome. Agata struggled as she lowered it down the stairs one step at a time, then had to squeeze it carefully through the kitchen door. She shifted the existing chairs around then removed the silly plastic seat the baby had apparently been using and placed it on the landing where the garbage can had been. Checking the time, she saw that she was late for the baby’s next bottle. She wouldn’t have enough of her own milk this soon, so she pulled out the container of formula she’d found earlier, mixed a full sixteen ounces, and warmed it in a pan of hot water. Jamie was initially elated at seeing Agata approach the playpen, assuming she was coming for a diaper change. His joy quickly dissipated when he saw another bottle in her hand. He still felt bloated from the last bottle, but admitted to himself that it did help his throat. Maybe by drinking this bottle down, he’d regain his voice and give this woman a piece of his mind. Agata settled herself with her back against the bars and was pleased when Jamie scooted over and laid himself across her lap. She and Jamie both closed their eyes and settled in to a zone, Agata daydreaming about how much pleasure there is in feeding a baby her bottle and Jamie fantasizing about what he’d do and say the moment he could talk again. Jamie immediately noticed the different taste this time. While the first bottle had been soothing and sweet, this milk tasted slightly sour and not at all pleasurable. It took all of his will power to suck it down quickly, partly to get it over with but mostly in the hope a miracle would happen and he’d regain his voice the instant he finished. Ten minutes later, Jamie once again found himself propped up on Agata’s shoulder as she burped him, and this time he unconsciously spit out even more of the milk onto the diaper she’d draped there. To his great dismay, his effort to speak made clear that no miracle had occurred and he continued to sound like the baby she assumed he was. “[Are you trying to tell me that you have stinky pants?],” Agata asked him in a sing song voice, pinching her nose playfully. “[Yes you do, yes you do. I bet your mommy can’t wait for you to learn to use the potty, but maybe you’ll never be a big girl. Maybe you’ll be making nasties in your diapers forever. Icky. Poor mommy.]” Agata rose and opened the door to the playpen, signaling Jamie to crawl out. I’ll do anything to get this mess off of me, he thought, even if I have to demean myself by crawling. It was a long and uncomfortable journey up to the nursery. Agata followed Jamie up the stairs to prevent him from taking a tumble, at times assisting him by pressing her hand hard against his bottom, which spread the fetid mess inside his diaper into any remaining crack or crevice that had been spared up to this point. He’d never been so happy to see a changing table in his line of sight and lost no time pulling himself onto it. Agata was less thrilled at the task in front of her, but she told herself that it was no different from changing any other baby, just more so. She found and donned a pair of latex gloves but didn’t see a mask. Well, she’d been smelling his dirty diaper for hours now, how much worse could it be? She soon found out it could be worse, as the smell seemed to explode into the air as soon as she opened up Jamie’s diaper. Agata and Jamie both gagged. Agata got to work right away. Normally she’d use the unsoiled parts of the diaper to wipe away mess sticking to the baby’s bottom, but this time the entire diaper was covered in pee and poo. She employed handful after handful of wipes but the mess seemed endless. Each bundle of used wipes was placed next to Jamie’s head, away from the work area. Finally she got to the point where she felt safe removing the used diaper. Carrying it at arm’s length, praying that Jamie wouldn’t spray the table in the next minute, she rinsed it off in the hallway bathroom before returning and dropping it into the makeshift diaper pail. She quickly placed a clean diaper under him, folding it up over his penis while she grabbed a couple of booster pads. Just as she was about to apply the lotion and powder, though, she hesitated and leaned her face down until her nose almost touched Jamie’s privates. The stench of the diaper seemed to have penetrated the girl’s skin. For both their sakes, the baby needed a bath. Leaving Jamie securely strapped to the table, Agata again left him alone while she went to the bathroom to draw him a bath, taking advantage of the trip to wash her hands, scrubbing them with soap for a good three minutes. Two minutes after that, Jamie was sitting in about four inches of warm water as Agata lathered up a washcloth and began covering every inch of his body with lavender-scented body wash. Once she’d covered the rest of his body, she positioned him on all fours so that she had easy and open access to his groin and rear. Jamie winced as Agata stroked soap down his penis, trying his best not to respond and for the most part succeeding. He jumped again, startled, when she stuck a washcloth-covered finder up his behind and moved it around. Agata took him by the armpits and had him kneel facing her, when she again lowered her head to his midsection and sniffed. She frowned, puzzled, until the problem dawned on her. The smell wasn’t sticking to the baby’s skin, it was ingrained in her pubic hair. It didn’t take long for Agata to find Millie’s razor and shaving cream. Jamie watched, horrified, as she spread the shaving cream all over his groin area, denuding him with a few swipes of the razor. Not satisfied, she pulled him to a stand and did the same thing on his legs, then for good measure removed the sparse few hairs on his chest and under his arms. There, she thought, that should keep her smelling fresher for longer. She set Jamie back down, used the washcloth to rinse his body, then kneaded strawberry shampoo into his hair before rinsing his head as well. Done. Jamie finally smells like a baby girl should smell, at least when their diaper is clean. Agata proudly led him back to the nursery, where she placed him on top of the awaiting diaper. More lotion and powder, pins in place, voluminous plastic panties pulled on, and she was done. When she picked up the girl’s romper, though, she noticed a damp spot on the flap of the crotch. Not seeiing a hamper, so she folded the romper up neatly and placed it on the floor next to the diaper pail. She pulled a onesie and skirt set out of the drawer, each piece again filled with lace and bows. Agata smiled. Now that the girl smelled fresh, she liked dressing her up like a little doll. Minutes later, Jamie once again found himself in the playpen by himself as Agata moved to the kitchen to prepare lunch. Jamie could hear her working and knew not to hope for a grilled cheese sandwich. He was, of course, correct. Once secured in the highchair, arms helplessly bound, Agata placed a sectioned baby plate on the tray before tying another of the endless supply of bibs around his neck, this one trimmed in pink and embroidered with the phrase “Messy Girl.” Each compartment of the plate held unidentifiable pureed globs of different colors: gray, green, and purple. Before long, both Jamie’s face and bib were painted with each. Jamie tried his hardest not to wretch but ended up regurgitating the last bits of the noxious food. Agata didn’t seem surprised or annoyed. This was normal infantile behavior. Jamie looked at the clock on the stove and was surprised and disappointed to see that it was only 1:15 p.m. This was the longest day ever. When would Millie or Angie be back to rescue him? His thoughts were interrupted as Agata rubbed his face with a wet washcloth, then released him only to imprison him once more in the playpen. As before, Agata deserted him, this time to go out to her car. She returned shortly with a large canvas bag slung over her shoulder. Smiling, she walked to the side of the playpen, reached inside the bag, and pulled out an assortment of baby toys, including rattles, teething ring, plastic keys, and soft blocks. She scattered the toys around the playpen, rustled Jamie’s hair, then disappeared up the stairs. Jamie ignored the toys and focused on trying to figure out what the mechanical humming sound was coming from upstairs. He finally gave up, then to kill time built a short tower with the blocks, trying to also incorporate the other toys into it without it toppling over. He got so engrossed in his endeavor that he didn’t see Agata approach. “[Nap time,]” she said. All Jamie understood was that he was meant to accompany her back up the stairs. Entering the nursery, he was overwhelmed by the pervasive smell of wet and dirty diapers that continued to pervade the room. He was led to the crib and helped in, then Agata leaped up next to him, warm bottle of breast milk in her hand. Again, Jamie noticed the difference in the flavor and soon fell into a rhythm sucking the sweet nectar down his sore throat. By the time the was sucking air, his eyelids were heavy and he was emotionally exhausted from the day’s events. Agata quietly removed herself from the crib, cradling Jamie’s head in her hands as she lowered it to a pillow. She covered the girl with a sheet and blanket, humming a Polish lullaby as she did so. In the time it took her to walk to the door, Jamie was asleep. The rest of the day passed much like the morning. Jamie woke up from his nap, only a couple of hours after being put into a clean diaper post-bath, heavily soaked. He found himself peeing regularly and with virtually no warning, his bladder overworked from Agata’s frequent bottle feedings. The changing table became a second home for him. He began to stress over his apparent weakening bladder and hoped that it was a temporary condition. Agata often left Jamie to his own devices in the playpen, although she did join him for an hour before dinner to play peek-a-boo, build towers, and try out all of the various rattles. The bottle she gave him just before she left for the kitchen seemed to do wonders for his throat and once she was gone he tested his voice. Not perfect, but getting there. After some thought, he decided not to risk utter humiliation by speaking to Agata now. He would die if she discovered the truth about him. He assumed Angie and Millie would be back soon. Dinner was again a colorful and disgusting mess, including bananas mashed into pureed prunes and a mix of green vegetables that smelled just awful. Afterward, Agata read some more while Jamie watched cartoons, then 8:00 rolled around and it was time for bed, at least according to Agata. A clean diaper, frilly pajamas, and yet another bottle of the sweet milk. After tucking Jamie under the covers, Agata read him a few picture books, making animal noises as she pointed to them and saying their names in Polish. This time, Jamie wasn’t sleepy, and he again chided himself for allowing his laptop to die. He laid in the crib staring at the ceiling, wondering if Angie and Millie would be home when he woke up. To his disappointment, they were not. It was Agata who walked into the room with a cheerful greeting and a bottle of formula in hand in the morning. She expected Angie to return sometime soon and in anticipation had packed up belongings, including her breast pump, so formula was her only option. After feeding Jamie she exited the crib and raised the side rail back up. She pondered her options. Angie might appreciate it, and maybe it would help her tip, if she dressed Jamie up like a princess in one of her fancy dresses. She liked the idea. Agata began running the water in the tub, adding scented bubbles under the tap. She then scanned the closet to find the frilliest, prissiest dress in the collection. A bag of hair ties, clips, and bows was located on the shelf next to the changing table along with baby-powder scented perfume. Agata happily laid everything out within reach. She took extra care with the baby in the bathtub, even playing with the suds and rubbing some of it onto his face like a beard. “[No beards for real for you, little girl,] she teased. Once out of the tub she quickly moved Jamie to the changing table where she double diapered him and added liners to increase the bulk, just because she thought babies were cuter with a huge, puffy bottom. She assumed Angie thought the same. She rubbed baby lotion over every inch of Jamie’s body, then dabbed the perfume in strategic spots. Agata found pink plastic panties with rows of lace both front and back. The dress she’d chosen was also primarily pink but with dozens of pastel bows and lace, puffed sleeves, and a Peter Pan collar trimmed in even more lace. A built-in petticoat puffed the bottom of the dress out. She pulled it over Jamie’s head and giggled, more than pleased and how pretty she looked and smelled. To top it off, she sat Jamie down in front of her, brushing her hair and adding butterfly clips and bows everywhere she could fit them. Lacy socks completed the look. Agata couldn’t resist taking multiple photos of the baby princess. At breakfast, she made sure to add a dish towel to areas not covered by the bib and managed to get through a meal of oatmeal and stewed prunes without incident. Finally, she placed Jamie in the playpen, took up her book, and waited. About thirty minutes later, Agata noticed a foul odor. She made a face, unhappy that Jamie was ruining her perfect getup. Sighing, she began to get up for the diaper change when she was startled to feel her chest getting damp. Dammit, she thought, the smell of the dirty diaper triggered her breasts to let down and leak milk. She couldn’t ignore her needs but her pump was already packed. With no other choice, she led Jamie out of the playpen to the couch, positioned a pillow, and laid the baby down, lifting her top and lowering her bra. Putting a hand behind his head, she pulled him to her breast, mouth to nipple, and said “[Drink, baby].” Jamie was startled and in a panic. He tried to pull away but Agata was strong and held his head firmly into her chest. A few drops of milk dribbled onto his lips, followed by a few more. It started dripping down his chin. Finally, with no other choice, he began to suckle. The warm, sweet milk made it a pleasure to continue. After several minutes, Agata shifted and moved Jamie to her other breast. This time he didn’t resist. He was addicted to the taste of her milk and admittedly was enjoying the intimate contact. He’d just started on the second breast when he heard a voice. “What on earth is going on here?” Angie said, astonished at the sight before her. Jamie pulled away and glanced up to see Angie and Millie standing above them, slack-jawed and staring. He began to sit up as Agata moved to fasten her bra. “No, no,” Angie said more gently. “Please finish up. She needs to be fed.” She and Millie took positions on nearby chairs while a shaken Jamie reluctantly continued to nurse. Angie looked around, observing the playpen full of baby toys and Jamie’s dress, hairdo, and lacy big bottom. Mostly, though, she noticed the smell. It was as if soiled diapers had been left to stew in every room. Five minutes later, Agata moved Jamie’s face away from her breast and covered up. She gently pushed him down to the floor and had him crawl to the playpen, which she latched shut. Angie motioned Agata to follow her to the kitchen, where she settled up her fee, while Millie sat silently smirking at a red-faced Jamie. Soon the two women returned from the kitchen. Agata moved to the playpen, kissed Jamie on top of his head, and exited the home. Angie sat back down and looked Jamie in the eyes, a slight smile curving the corners of her mouth. “Time for an explanation, baby girl,” she said. “And I can’t wait to hear it.”
  14. 21. Jamie was groggy and disoriented when he woke up. As his eyes came into focus, he saw bars above him and bars all around him, and only then remembered being forced to sleep in a crib. He had no idea what time it was or if he needed to get downstairs for breakfast. He stupidly had forgotten to bring his charging cord with him last night and his laptop battery ran out about 2:00 a.m., so he couldn’t check the time. It had to be time to get up, as his stomach told him he was hungry and his bowels were signaling that he’d need the potty soon. He tried to lower the side rail but it wouldn’t budge. The curvature of the bars over the top of the crib prevented him from climbing out. He spent several minutes searching for a latch or some other device that he could undo to release the rail to no avail. Finally, he had no choice but to call for help. He hoped it wasn’t so early that he’d wake the women up. “Angie! Millie! Can someone please help me?” Jamie tried to call out but to his dismay his throat hadn’t gotten better and now he’d lost his voice. He needed to get someone’s attention, so he got up on his knees, grabbed the bars, and rattled them as noisily as he could. He’d been trapped in the crib long enough. His diaper sagged heavily on his hips and threatened to burst it was so wet. Jamie was relieved when he heard footsteps answering his call, and moments later the door swung open. He was about to say something snarky about being imprisoned when he stopped cold. Walking toward him was a tall blonde woman of about twenty-one or twenty-two. She was smiling at him and he didn’t know why. He didn’t know this person. Jamie shrank back away from the approaching stranger. The woman did something he couldn’t see and the side rail slowly began its descent to the lowered position. “[Don’t be afraid, little girl. I’m Agata and I’ll be taking care of you today while your Mommy’s away. Are you hungry?]” Jamie didn’t understand a word the woman said and continued to cower as she hoisted herself up next to him. Only when she was settled with a pillow over her lap did he see the grotesquely large baby bottle she held in one hand. He started to mime a protest and moved to lunge out of the crib, but the woman was strong, pulling him across her in a single, forceful motion, situating him next to her breast. Instantly the bottle’s nipple found its way into his mouth. Jamie tried to force the nipple out with his tongue, but Agata skillfully kept it in place, and the movement he made in trying to push the bottle out had the effect of pulling its contents into his mouth. The fluid was warm and slightly sweet, not totally unpleasant, and was actually pleasant to his sore throat. Jamie’s brain told him to resist but his body said it needed to drink, and he soon gave in and began suckling. He’d straighten out this situation as soon as he finished. In the meantime, Agata hummed softly to her charge, stroking her cheek as she fed on her milk. She rubbed her shoulder then slowly moved her hand down to check her diaper. She was surprised at how wet it was. For a little girl, she produced a lot of pee. She made a note to make sure to kept the girl hydrated. She’d probably have to supplement her own milk with formula. Eventually Agata heard the sucking of air. “[Good baby, good girl. Can you burp for me? Then we’ll get you out of that smelly diaper and make you all clean and fresh.]” She pulled the big baby up over her shoulder, already lined with a diaper, and began patting and rubbing Jamie’s back. To his intense dismay, he let out a series of small burbs followed by a loud belch, inadvertently regurgitating some of the milk out onto the diaper. Agata praised him, wiping his mouth with a clean corner of the diaper. As she helped Jamie out of the crib and led him to the changing table, he tried to find his voice to ask where Angie and Millie were, who she was and what she was doing there, and why she fed him a bottle, but all that came out was a raspy squeak. The woman looked at him sympathetically as she half-lifted him onto the table. The girl must be non-verbal, she concluded. After strapping him in, pinning his arms tight, she produced a large pacifier and placed it not-to-gently into his mouth. “[Agata]” she repeated several times as she tapped her chest. “[Agata].” “Agata,” Jamie repeated, although between his lack of voice and obstruction from the pacifier, anything he said sound like babble. Nevertheless, his trying to repeat her name pleased the woman and she smiled broadly as she untaped his diaper. Lowering the front to expose his genitals to the air, she started. “[Oh my!]” she said before recovering her composure. She cupped Jamie’s balls in one hand, squeezing gently lifting them, then moved to his penis and leaned down to get a closer look, as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She met Jamie’s eyes with a sad smile. The poor child appears to have stopped developing when he was three or four years old, she thought. No wonder she identifies as a girl. This also explains why all of her clothing was so ultra-girly, to compensate for his lack of girl parts and to allow her to look as much like a girl as possible to the world. She wondered if Angie was giving her hormones and when they planned to remove the shriveled boy parts. The thought reminded her of the pills she was supposed to give the baby. She’d get to that once she got the child in her highchair. Agata ignored the distressed noises coming from the child, reading them for fear of an unknown grown-up thrust into her life. She wasn’t wrong. In her experience, prolonging a diaper change and using it as a gentle, almost intimate getting acquainted time helped babies gain trust in their new caregiver. Accordingly, she took her time wiping Jamie clean, going over the same areas several times, paying special attention to her dangly bits and her bottom hole. All the time she spoke softly to her, occasionally rubbing her cheek or mussing up her hair and making little kisses on her forehead and nose. Once finished with the cleanup, Agata rolled up the diaper but didn’t see a diaper pail, so she placed it out of her way on the table close to Jamie’s head. Saving the lone disposable for bedtime, she expertly folded one of the cloth diapers, lifted his legs, and slid it under his bottom, then folded another diaper in thirds to use as a soaker. Next, she slathered his entire diaper area with sweet-smelling baby lotion and followed up with a generous shaking of powder. As she rubbed it in, she noted the lack of response from the baby’s penis, confirming in her mind that he hadn’t yet hit puberty. She picked two diaper pins with duck heads from a jar, storing one in her mouth while she pulled one side of the diaper across and pinned it tight, then did the same on the other side. Marveling at the size of the plastic panties, she chose a plain yellow pair with white lace trim and pulled it up over the diaper. The panties ballooned out over the diaper. “[Let’s find you something pretty to wear],” she told Jamie as she rummaged through a drawer. Eventually she pulled out a two-piece floral romper set, with puffy sleeves, elastic gathers at the legs, and ruffles across the butt. Pastel bows accented the top, making it the perfect outfit for a baby girl. Agata completed the look with while ruffled socks. “[There],” she said sweetly, “[you look good enough to eat].” She capped off the look by clipping the pacifier holder to Jamie’s collar. Jamie felt defeated. Until his voice returned, he wasn’t sure how to make this woman understand that he wasn’t a baby. Maybe they’d play with crayons later and he could write her a note? Would she even understand it if he did? Worst of all, the longer this infantile treatment went on, the more humiliating revealing that he was an adult capable of caring for himself would be. If he was to stop this, it had to be soon. Agata released Jamie from his bonds. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he wobbled unsteadily due to the bulk of the cloth diapers. Agata took this as a sign that he needed help walking, so she wrapped one arm around him and cradled one of his arms in her other. He kept his gaze on the floor to avoid embarrassing eye contact as they moved, only looking up when she stopped and let go of him. To his surprise and horror, he was standing directly in front of the highchair and Agata was swiveling the tray to one side to create room for him to get in. He shook his head vigorously, an action she completely ignored. His lack of strength relative to hers once again prevented any meaningful resistance and he soon found himself buckled into the seat. Agata began to swing the tray back into place but paused, her eyes focused on the arm and leg restraints built into each side of the chair. They wouldn’t be there if they weren’t necessary, she reasoned, so she dutifully proceeded to immobilize Jamie’s limbs. Satisfied, she locked the tray into place before retrieving a bib and tying it around his neck. Jamie was now imprisoned in the highchair, unable to communicate verbally or with hand signals. He realized that Agata was talking to him, as much as that mattered if he didn’t understand what she was saying. She must have told him she would be back, as she walked out the door, leaving him alone. It was at this moment that his bowels decided to signal their imminent release. Jamie clamped down but it was too late. He filled his diaper with a fetid, soft, mass. Seconds later, his bladder joined the party. Unlike with the disposables he was accustomed to, his urine wasn’t wicked away from his skin. The soaking wet fabric clung to him both in front and rear and he was instantly miserable. It wasn’t long before Agata returned carrying a child’s bowl filled to the brim with what appeared to be oatmeal but with an unknown green substance swirled in. “[Mmmm, nice hot cereal with green peas,]” she told him. As she approached, she stopped short and sniffed the air, shaking her head when she recognized the smell. “Just like every other baby,” she told herself, “I guess size doesn’t matter. Breast milk just runs right through them. Poopy pants ten minutes after her bottle, right on schedule.” She took a moment to make her decision. “Well, if she’s like other babies she won’t mind sitting in her mess. I’ll feed her then bring her downstairs and we’ll change her later.” Wrinkling her nose but otherwise ignoring the stench, she placed the bowl on the tray in front of Jamie. He instantly gagged, not sure what was worse, the odor coming from his bottom or that rising up from the bowl. Before he could devise a strategy to resist what was to follow, Agata removed his pacifier and had a heaping baby spoon headed toward his mouth. He pressed his lips together as tight as he could but she was prepared. She pinched is nose shut, forcing him to open his mouth in order to breathe. She pushed the spoon inside, dragging its contents across his tongue. It tasted as foul as it smelled. After several repetitions of closing his mouth only to have his nose pinched, he gave up in the interest of getting his over with. Agata was relentless, feeding him one spoonful after another. He barely had time to swallow and at times tried to push the excess food out, but she was there with the spoon to scoop it off his chin and stuff it right back in. When the ordeal was finally over, she used the bottom portion of the bib to clean up his face. Jamie watched Agata as she walked over to the changing table, assuming she was going to prepare for another diaper change. Instead, she picked up his overnight diaper before returning and opening the tray. She gave Jamie the used diaper to hold as she released him from his binds, then took the diaper back and guided him to the floor on all fours. Given the shifting mess inside his diaper, Jamie concluded that crawling might be the best way to prevent the muck from spreading. He headed in the direction of the changing table, but Agata headed him off and guided him toward the door. He had no choice but to comply. When the pair got to the top of the stairs, Agata put down the diaper and bowl and moved in front of him, pulling his legs around to the front, She then put her hands under his armpits and pulled him gently forward until he slid down to the next step. The mess inside Jamie’s diaper squelched and spread, moving forward to coat his penis and balls. With each successive step, it only got worse. Once at the bottom, Agata led Jamie to the playpen and motioned him inside. He expected her to change him there but was disappointed. Instead, she walked back upstairs to retrieve the diaper and bowl and disappeared into the kitchen where she leisurely washed the dishes and made herself more coffee and some toast, which she ate in the kitchen in order to enjoy the taste without the interference of the toxic diaper in the next room. Ten minutes later, she finally returned to the living room, but again gave no indication she was ready to change the baby. She turned on the television, flipping through channels until she found programming suitable for infants. Finally, she went back up to her room, grabbed the romance novel she’d just started, and returned, where she settled in comfortably to resume her reading.
  15. 20. “Well that’s not good,” Angie said as she hung up the phone. “Deborah got the flu and can’t watch over Jamie this weekend. I don’t think I know anyone else who would accept the job given its unusual nature and keep quiet about it. Especially given his newfound habit of spurting and peeing without warning. He’s done that what, four or five times now?” “Six,” Millie noted. “We’re leaving early tomorrow morning, How difficult will it be to get someone last-minute?” “We’re about to find out,” Angie replied. “I guess my morning plans are set for today. I’ll let you know if I need your help.” Two hours later, Angie staggered into Millie’s room looking exhausted. “It was crazy. I started out calling agencies, but they wanted a commitment longer than a day and a night. They also required all sorts of information on the ‘patient,’ and I didn’t think it was right to have a written record of Jamie’s issues. Who knows who might be able to access that down the road, and I don’t want it following him if he ever applies for a real job. My next step was scanning local groups on social media. I finally ended up posting a vague request for a caregiver/nanny on Facebook. That’s when the fun began. “I received almost a dozen responses within ten minutes and more kept trickling in. Some didn’t understand that this was a one-shot and wanted long-term employment, others didn’t do diapers or potty training. A few I just didn’t trust to be discreet by instinct. But I finally found someone who seems to understand the job and is available.” “Seems?” Millie asked. “Well, it was a little hard to tell for sure,” Angie admitted. “There’s a bit of a language issue. She came over from Poland less than a month ago and works as an au pair for a Polish-speaking family a couple of towns over, so her English language skills are limited. I’ll try to explain it to her when she comes tonight but just to be safe I’ll write out details in English and then have Google translate them into Polish and leave both sets for her to read.” “She’s coming over tonight?” “It made sense since we’re leaving so early tomorrow morning. She gets off work when the parents of the kids she watches get back from work about 6:30, then she needs to prepare dinner for herself, pack a bag, and it’s an hour drive to here. I don’t expect her before 9:00 tonight. She can get a decent night’s sleep and be ready to attend to Jamie’s diaper when he wakes up.” Millie wasn’t convinced. “I hope you can overcome the language barrier. I’m sure she was the best you could find considering how desperate we are. I’d hate to miss out on our spa day because of Miss Piddle Pants. Where’s she going to sleep and when are you going to tell Jamie?” “She’ll sleep in Jamie’s room. The Murphy bed isn’t here yet and we can’t exactly ask her to sleep in the crib. All I’ll tell him is that we have an overnight guest and he needs to move for one night. He won’t like it but I’ll insist. I’ll break the news at dinner.” Angie was right, Jamie didn’t like it. “You want me to sleep in a crib?” he croaked upon hearing the news. It was bad enough that he was on the verge of a cold and his throat was scratchy, now he’s being told that he has to give up the comfort of his own bed. “It’s just for one night, Jamie. And given the state of your diaper every morning, it’s not entirely inappropriate. Besides, you can test it out for me and let me know your opinion on comfort, security, and so forth. You’ll be doing me a favor.” With Angie putting it that way, Jamie was hard pressed to refuse. He wasn’t even sure he had the right to insist on staying in his own room. He’d have to check his lease. It was his room, but this was her house. In the end, he was cornered and reluctantly agreed. He could do this for one night. Millie stepped into Jamie’s room at 8:00 that night. “I’m sorry, Jamie,” she said, “but I have to get up early tomorrow so I need to get you diapered and into the crib now. An extra hour shouldn’t make any difference. Besides, I’ll bet your panties could use changing anyway.” To Jamie’s great embarrassment, she wasn’t wrong. He’d had another ejaculation episode after dinner. He’d gotten better at stemming the flow of urine when that happened, but not before his training pants became almost full to capacity. He headed to his bed to lay down but was directed to the special needs room by Millie, who suggested he bring his laptop and charger. “You don’t have to sleep right away. You can continue working in the crib.” He’d forgotten how infantile the special needs room was and cringed at the thought of spending an entire night in here. He positioned himself on the changing table and ignored Millie’s “tsk tsk” as she lowered his panties. The one advantage to pissing himself after he had the other kind of emission was that it washed away the evidence of his shame, he thought to himself, totally unaware that both Millie and Angie could see the trail but chose not to say anything. He climbed into the crib and began to find a comfortable position to work on his laptop, but stopped when Millie lifted and latched the side rail. “Wait a minute,” he complained. “You don’t need to do that.” “You’re testing this for Angie, remember? Frankly, I think it makes things nice and cozy. No more complaints from you, got it? And are you okay? Your voice sounds funny.” Even if he’d wanted to object further, it was too late. Without waiting for an answer to her questions, Millie was already halfway to the door with her back turned to him. She closed the door behind her, but not before turning on a nightlight with a cartoon baby mouse cover. She moved to her room to pack and wasn’t lying when she told Jamie she needed to go to bed early. She’d leave it to Angie to wait for the caregiver. They were on the road shortly after 5:00 a.m. For the first hour both women were still half-asleep and happy to be quietly sipping their coffee and munching on the sweet rolls Angie provided. About sixty miles were behind them before Millie felt awake enough to engage in conversation. “What time did Jamie’s babysitter arrive last night? I must have been asleep.” “She didn’t get there until after 11:00,” Angie answered. “Her employers were late, packing took longer than expected, she got lost, etc. Both of us were way past ready for bed by that time. I explained a few things but told her that I’d leave the details on the kitchen table. I gave her my cell number but chances are we’ll have our phones off most of the day while in the spa.” “Knowing you, I’m sure you typed out way more information than she needed to know,” Millie said with a smile. “We still have a couple of hours to go. Why don’t you try to get some sleep. Before you nod off, though, did you print out those directions the spa sent? They said that gps always sends guests to the wrong place.” “Sure, they’re in in my purse.” Angie rummaged around and pulled out a sheaf of papers, then froze. “Uh oh. This isn’t good.” She handed the documents to Millie, who saw that the instructions for the caregiver, in two languages, were tucked behind the directions to the spa. “I’m sure everything will be just fine,” Millie said with a false sense of security. “Let’s just forget the outside world for a while and enjoy our spa day.” Acknowledging that Jamie and Agata were both adults and were capable of working things out, Angie was soon asleep and the women happily continued their journey. Despite her late night, Agata was used to waking up early and found herself up and around before 6:30 that morning. She walked downstairs to the kitchen to have a cup of coffee and read the instructions that Angie said she left, but was surprised to find no notes of any kind. After a brief survey of the kitchen, she rightly concluded that Angie forgot. This left her a little nervous, but on the other hand she was used to taking care of children and assumed this would be no different. Once she finished her coffee, she decided to peek into the little girl’s room to get some clues as to what she’d be facing for the day. Walking quietly as she opened the door to the nursery, the first thing she saw was a large crib with the girl slumbering inside. Moving closer, she judged the girl to be about ten years old based on her size. Her exposed diaper was clearly wet, confirming what she thought Angie told her on the phone. Frankly she didn’t understand much of what she’d been told but didn’t want to lose this job by admitting it. About all that got through to her was that the child she’d be looking after was older and still in diapers, and she had just confirmed that. She continued her tour of the room. Beneath the changing table were one disposable diaper and a couple stacks of cloth diapers. Since the girl was wearing a disposable now, they must be for nighttime use and the cloth diapers for the day. There were several pair of frilly plastic pants and diaper covers. Opening a few drawers, she found onesies and other outfits, most of them adorned with lace and bows. The closet held fancy dresses and little else. This child must like to be dressed as girly as possible, Agata thought. In one corner of the room sat an oversized highchair, and on the cart with the powders, lotions, and wipes there were two large baby bottles and a pacifier. A playpen was folded up and leaning against the wall. All of this was valuable information. Agata now knew that the child’s mental age was somewhere in infancy. She picked up the playpen and brought it downstairs to set up in the living room, then returned to the kitchen to look for the necessary supplies. It took some searching, but stored in the back of a cabinet above the refrigerator she found a container of formula and a large supply of baby food in a variety of flavors. She brought several down and placed them on the counter. In a drawer were several bibs. The child must go through them fast, Agata thought, so her ability to feed herself must be rudimentary at best. Looking at the container of powdered formula, Agata had a decision to make. Is that what she was supposed to give the child? If so, it wouldn’t have made sense for Angie to hire a wet nurse. No, she was certain that they wanted her to provide her own milk to the girl, but being older sometimes children resisted being nursed at the breast. For now, she’d use the pump she’d packed. She didn’t know when the girl would be waking up, but it would be best to have a bottle ready for when she did. Agata went back upstairs, quietly grabbed one of the baby bottles from the nursery, and went to her room to fill it.
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