Whatever works for you! It's all fantasy and play anyway, so there's no need to strive for 100% verisimilitude if it's the sort of play that makes you both happy. I enjoy both sides of it myself, so yay for you!
Welcome to DD, feathergirl. I'm pretty familiar with the "rare diaper wearer" thing - for much the same reasons - BUT it does make it a lot more fun when it does happen. Also, the shame/embarrassment thing doesn't always have to be a bad thing.