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DiaperdAspie

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  1. Hi, I'm DiaperdAspie. I'm a bit of an interloper, and I'll let you decide if you'll let me stay. I'm from Germany. However I spent a significant part of my later childhood and young adulthood (14-22) in Scotland (four years in Dumfriesshire, and four years in StAndrews). I spend an additional year in Norwich, finishing my Degree in Chemistry at the UEA. Those 9 years in the UK, have me missing a lot of things. I just wish I could get some McEwans 80/- somwhere near where I live, haven't had any for about 13 years now. I've been planning a trip to Scotland for a while now, but things just seem to get in the way, but it seems that I'll finally be able to sit in a Scottish Pub and have some of that lovely ale in about 2 years.
  2. I am quite surprised to see another person going the 'voluntary incontinence route' to better cope with life. I for one have worn diapers off and on since about 1999 and finally went 24/7 permanently on the 11th of March 2008. Back when I was still wearing off and on I sometimes noticed how much diapers helped me to cope with life, but back then I did not even know why I was strugling with things that are second nature to most people. Well, I finally found out why I have always felt that I just don't belong here (this planet) in late summer 2006. My nick might give some peole a clue, I was diagnosed with Asperger Autism (ICD-10 F84.5). In the following two years I have analysed my difficulties and problems rather intensively and did a lot of self analysis. I also dug out several things not direcly related, such as a slight problem I always had noticing the need to urinate when I concentrate on something. I also realised that the only real reason I managed not to wet myself was that I practically cramped my bladder shut when I was in danger of doing so. The problem with that was that it took long (15-60min) to actually get it to uncramp when I finally reached a toilet. I also realised that I was much more at ease and had more mental capacities left to deal with my surroundings when I was wearing diapers, meaning I could cope with the world much better. After a short period of testing, I decided that wearing diapers was way preferable to always wondering if I will have another close call if I immerse myself into a subject. It took a huge (not really previously registered) mental load off my back. Back then I also noticed (about a month into wearing 24/7) that I always used to keep myself quite dehydrated. I only feel thirst when I am quite dehydrated. I used to tell that I needed to drink more by the fact that my mouth and eyes where completely dry. Nowadays if I don't fill at least two (better three) diapers a day, I know I have to drink more. Well, now I just wet when I need to and don't really notice it unless I pay attention. My bladder only really fills up when I sleep and partially when I sit in a car. I wake up with a full bladder most of the time, even though I wet in my sleep most nights (although currently I sleep from about 9:00 - 16:00 which helps me get some work done (I work better at night), but that is another story). I have mentally entered this with the knowledge that I will most probably never be able to ge back. I know that I will be in diapers for the rest of my life. But that is good so, because it helps me a lot more than it inconveniences me. I have not seen a physician about my diaper wearing, because I don't have a problem with it. My physician probably knows I wear them, because the last few times he listened to my lungs (I had a really bad cough) I had take off my body and the diaper was showing out of the back of my trousers.
  3. Well, I did not need to sweat, and once I had lost enougth fluids, I did not have to spit out my saliva all the time any more. But as I said, I would have gone to the ER if I did not have that appointment. It turned out that I have GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease) and a (too) low pH in my stomach. My stomach will reflux frequently, and the acid attacks the lower part of my esophagos (which is quite badly scarred according to the picture that was taken). I now take Omeprazol (proton pump inhibitor), to make sure that my stomach is only mildly acidic. It does not stop the reflux (which in itself is not a problem), but it stops my esaphagos being attacked by the acid, and swelling shut again. The Doctor said that he had never seen an esaphagos as badly scarred in someone as young as me. The next time a doctor tells me to take some pills, as a response to: "I cannot swallow, not even water." I will tell him that he should get his ears checked, and that I mean exactly what I say, however unlikely he might think it. But back then, I never imagined that I could be so misunderstood. The Doctor told me clearly that what I was telling him was impossible, and ignored that I told him that I could not even get small amounts of water to my Stomach. I had several blockages bevore that, but I always managed to get them unblocked within one or two hours. But even after over 24h of no drinking, with my mouth and eyes dry, I was not thirsty yet. I washed my mouth with water frequently, in the hope that some would be absorbed, or that I would lose less water that way. Only at the day I had that appointment, I was thirsty. Very thirsty... ...but when the blockage was cleared up, and I could drink again, only ~250ml of water was enough to quench that thirst. But I still drank more than that, because I knew, that I had lost a lot of water...
  4. Yes, that is just about how I feel about it. It is very messy, and horrible to clean up. Plus one should get thet messed in nappy outside to the trash as soon as possible. But once in a while it is nice to take a dump in that nappie, feeling it fill the back side, and spread out when you sit down on it. But it generates a lot of work, so I very rarely endulge in it. Anal incontinence would definitely be something that I would hate to have.
  5. That depends, if they are made out of a soft material and you wear something tight fitting over it, they don't make much noise. But people will not notice. Unless you make it extremely obvious, nobody will notice. Unless they are looking specifically to see if you are wearing nappies.
  6. I know, I have also seen (and filled out) your poll. Well, I have no problems there, but I sometimes misinteprete some signals as hunger. That can be annoying too... Well, I was just making sure... ...I have read a few threads, and noticed that often people who want to be incontinent are not welcome here, I was not sure if prefering to become fully bladder incontinent over having frequent smaller accidents and lots of stress would be seen differently.
  7. I am aware of that. Well, since I don't feel thirst (unless I don't drink anything for over 48h), it is easy for me to get dehydrated. Especially if drinking just causes you to run to the toilet or risk an accident. (I have several sensory 'differences') Well, for a few months I have been buying 1-1.5l of fluids to drink over the day. I also make sure that I drink enough when at home. But whenever my regular routine does not apply and I am not careful, I will just get dehydrated again (not drinking much has become a bad habit over the years). The only way that I can really tell that I should be thirsty, is the 'symptoms' of dehydration. One thing that I noticed since, is that most of the time I only notice that I am wetting when I am nearly finished. My best guess is that this is because there is no stress about having 'accidents' anymore, the part of me that was always alert and ready to intervene to stop the flow before it got problematic has diappeared (and so has the 'stress' associated with it). I pretty much guessed that this could be a 'one way road', and took that into consideration when I decided to wear nappies, so it does not really bother me. PS: The one time I did not drink anything for over 48h was when my asophagus was blocked. It got blocked on a Friday evening, and I got to the gastroentologist on monday morning. I could not even swallow my own saliva. It is annoying when the physitian at the emergency clinic does not listen (that was late that same Friday evening). I told him that I could not swallow anything (not even water or saliva), and he concluded that since I was not drooling this must be false, and told me to swallow some pills. I was spitting into a tissue regularly, to keep from drooling. Now, if I am confronted with such a totally unexpected and unlogical response, I lose the ability to communicate (I can speak though, just not communicate my thoughts anymore), so all that I could do was leave. If I had not gotten that appointment on monday morning, I would have gone to the emergency room of the local hospital and told them that I did not have any fluid intake for 48h, and asked them for an IV to replace the fluids.
  8. Hi, I am autistic (Asperger Syndrome). I have learned to hide all kinds of problems during my life. One of them had been, that I have always had problems detecting when my bladder is full. Sometimes it worked, other times I would not notice, or it would signal 'full' prematurely. Because of this I had numerable small (manageable) accidents, where I would suddenly notice that I started urinating. I nearly always managed to stop myself bevore any major 'damage' was done, but wet underwear and a small wet spot on my trousers where the result most of the time. A few times I also had bigger accidents, where most of my bladder would empty, luckily this only happened when I was alone. Those bigger accidents where all during times where I had a lot of stress to deal with in the first place. This caused me quite a bit of stress (something that I already have enough of). To prevent these accidents I would drink very little, causing me to be slightly dehydrated most of the time. In March this year, I have decided to wear nappies 24/7 for good to solve this problem (I had a few short experiences with 24/7 wearing). I have accepted that this would most probably result in total loss of control sooner or later. However, in my opinion, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks for me. Right now, I have pretty much lost most of my control already. However the considerable stress from not knowing if my bladder is 'telling me the truth' is gone. I can now savely imerse myself in an activity, without being scared that I will not notice a full bladder. I have also started drinking 'enough' again, so all the small problems that where a result of the dehydration have disappeared as well. This all has made my life considerably easier. If, in your opinion, I should not post here, I will respect that decision and keep my activities to the other parts of the forum. DiaperdAspie
  9. That sounds horrible. For any longer periods of time I would consider that 'torture'...
  10. Depending on the make, they are sometimes quite easy to open without knowing the code. I can get into a Samsonite suitcase within about 1-2min, if you know where to look, you can see the 'right places' when they are exactly 5 settings away from the actual code. Back to the topic: I used to have similar problems. Back when I was in StAndrews for University, I used to wear 24/7 for months. My parents found out, they did not like it, but there was little they could do back then. I was not allowed to wear during the holidays though. As I moved back home for 4 years, I would at first only wear when my parents where out for a few days to weeks (sometimes 24/7 again), and later even sometimes over the weekend. My mum is also a bit on the curious side (and I am bad at 'hiding stuff'), so she found out quite quickly. My parents then sort of accepted it as a thing that 'I do' once in a while, but there was always a 'cold atmosphere' when they found out I was wearing nappies at the time. Now I am away from home again, and 7 weeks ago I have started wearing 24/7 again (not just for pleasure, also for practical reasons). I have now told my parents that I am back in nappies for good, and they have actually accepted that. Well, my letter might have been a bit harsh, telling them that I wear now, and if they want to see me when I come back to Germany to see my girlfriend, they will have to accept me in nappies or I will not come. They complained a bit about my phrasing of the letter, but my 'new underwear' was no issue anymore. I hope that there will be no 'cold atmosphere' this time, because I am wearing nappies.
  11. Right now: A quite wet Abena AbriForm Large XPlus (although still some capacity left), a Suprima #1249 (yellow) and an Abena Bodystocking (without legs or arms)...
  12. Or rupture your colon due to the sudden pressure build up.
  13. Wow, now (44 days after going back to 24/7) I am wetting without noticing most of the time. Earlier today I could have sworn that the nappy I put on about an hour earlier was still dry, but there was a consideral amount of urine in it already. Well, already having daytime wetting problems when I started off, probably gave me a head start. I have previously gone 24/7 longer than this, but I always urinated consiously bevore, probably because I was not prepared to wear for the rest of my life back then. The only thing that bothers my slightly is that I now feel a constant mild pressure in my bladder region, as if it was slightly full all of the time. I leak all of the time, but when standing up, I sometimes lose more (this I notice, the leaking I don't notice), reducing this 'pressure'. I wake up some mornings just about as dry as I fell asleep (well, the nappies don't stay dry long anyhow), and on other mornings I am soaked (to the point of having an AbriForm XPlus leaking a small amount on my bed (protected, so not much of a problem)). I guess I will have to find a way to make sure that I will not leak during the night, because although I am bringing a protective sheet, I would prefer to keep my girlfriends bed dry when I visit her over the summer... The main reason why I am now prepared to keep wearing nappies 24/7 for the rest of my life is, that I have analysed myself a lot over the last several months. Those tricks and routines to make sure I did not wet myself where quite effective (only one or two wet spots per month, but a lot more 'close calls'), but they did eat up a lot of my mental resources and caused a lot of stress. As I began weeding out the more stressful routines to 'conform' (as an autisic, I have to emulate a lot of the social iteraction stuff consiously), I began noticing that this is one major factor. Since the importance of my parents in my life has decresed, I could now 'dare' to take this step (I knew they disaproved). Back when I still lived with them, I only wore once in a while, on weekends and free days. But I always felt this 'diapproving atmosphere' (yes, even as an autistic I can pick up emotional state of those around me, I just use different clues). It began just like the previous times going 24/7. This time (at first) I classified this as an 'experiment' to see how much stress reduction was the result. When my girlfriend told me that (after an initial 'shock') that she actually approves of me wearing nappies, I slowly began shifting from seeing it as an 'experiment' to seeing it as something permanent. As I accepted myself totally as a 24/7 nappy-user, I began to lose control. It is amazing having someone (my girlfriend) to actually talk about this, who actually encourages me. I was afraid that I might be bothering her with the topic (since I would talk about it a lot some of the time), and I have asked her several times, but she thinks it is OK to talk about it. Since she is autistic as well, I can be sure that she means this, and does not just say it to be nice. That is definitely one very positive character trait that a lot of autistics seem to have, they look at the person, not the appearence. This might also be why we take so long to actually get to know someone.
  14. I like the fact that I don't have to worry about accidents anymore, the smooth plastic feel, the slight bulk between my legs, not having to think about peeing or holding it. The 'sexual' aspect is only about 10% of it for me, the other 90% are the security and stress reduction.
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