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Pwy ydy'r tad

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  1. @Cruiser 03 Good theory, however I haven't worn since the issues started which was late November. Yeah, it's been going on a while. Rather than being the direct cause It's more likely that wearing a diaper helped create the perfect conditions for whatever it was to grow. The chlorhexidine scrub really seems to be doing the trick suggesting that it was probably bacterial or fungal (that stuff kills everything!). I've been using for almost weeks and looking and feeling much better down there. However still maintaining my appointment on Friday to be safe.
  2. @Cruiser 03 Thank you so much for that detailed response. To answer your questions: I can more or less rule that out as my partner and I have a non-sexual relationship. I'm not on regular medication of any kind. I don't wear regularly so all products I've been using (starting with sudocrem and over the counter clotrimazole and regular talc) were in response to the rash. I've been using the same moisturising shower gel/ anti-dandruff shampoo for years but I'm willing to give it a try. I was given a bar of 'organic travel soap' for Christmas so I'll use that for the time being. It does seem to have calmed down a bit in the last few days so it seems the anti-bacterial scrub has been the most effective (been using for about a week). I'm not out of the woods yet and am still waking up itchy in the mornings. But I at least have more information to pass onto my doctor. @DL-Boy I'll be sure to mention that on Friday, cheers.
  3. I have a rash on my groin (thought I'd get that out of the way first). It's been going for several months now and I'm starting to feel a bit frantic. The obvious advice would be 'see a doctor' but here's the problem; I've seen 3. I have another appointment booked for next week and I feel at this point things need to be escalated. So any advice on what I should be asking for, as well as what I can do in the meantime, would be greatly appreciated. I'm in the UK and doing this on the NHS. So far I've been prescribed: Dactakort and Lotriderm (both anti-fungal creams with steroid) 5 day course of antibiotics (will be taking the last one today) and I've also been using an antibacterial scrub
  4. Thank you so much for that information. Fabine does seem to operate under a very odd business model. Sounds like I should give up on the idea of the Teddy Pinks and instead wait for their next design.
  5. Thank you both. I have looked at the site you mentioned, as well as Amazon and Ebay, but all appear to be out of stock of the medium size. This leads me to wonder if they're still being manufactured at all? Then again, I've checked out some other styles and it's had to find anything I like in medium.
  6. I was browsing Nappies R Us and the Fabine Teddy Pink emerged as my favourite style. However I was quite disappointed when I discovers that the medium size was out of stock. Does anyone know if these are ever going to be available again? I have out my e-mail down for alerts but I thought I'd ask to see if anyone had any insight. I did search as well but so far nowhere else seems to have them.
  7. Epilogue I stayed in Doctor McGowen’s nursery for a while. It was nice. For as long I was in there I was absolved of all responsibility and could enjoy a carefree headspace again, one I hadn’t felt since I was very young. But I would regularly talk to Doctor McGowen and I came to the realisation that I couldn’t stay here forever. As nice as it was to forget them I did have responsibilities and I needed to be an adult again. When he felt the time was right Doctor McGowen discharged me and I returned to my adult life. I returned to my house to find everything in good order, thankfully I’d been able to maintain a cleaning staff while I was inside. The police had seized most of the drugs that had been in my possession after the party but I suspected they hadn’t gotten all of them. I recovered the hidden stash and destroyed them, I wouldn’t be needing them anymore. My mind was racing and I knew there were dozens of things I needed to sort out now I was free and I knew exactly where to start. I called Marcia and had her take a look at Jacqueline’s case. She’d put herself on the line for me and I owed her big. I was right that Jacqueline was facing additional charges because of the fight but Marcia quickly had them dropped. She argued that by making her my cell mate Jacqueline had become an unwilling participant in Doctor McGowen’s program and therefore shouldn’t be held accountable for what she did in response to that. And when Marcia argued something people listened. Then as an encore she also looked at Jacqueline’s original conviction and had her sentence reduced to time served. Turns out that it was a very similar situation to the cafeteria that landed her in prison in the first place, she got into a fight protecting her children. I went back to the prison to pick her up the day she was released and took her back to her family. I knew it wouldn’t be easy to mend the relationship with her children after such a long time away, but I have faith she’ll be able to do it, if there’s one thing I know about Jacqueline it’s that she’s a great mother. She’d also mentioned that her children were fans of mine and I hoped that telling them stories of how their mommy looked after me in prison would help to repair their bond. However, repairing Jacqueline’s relationship with her children seemed simple in comparison with the daunting task of facing my own parents. Marcia told them I’d been released but I could never find the right words when I picked up the phone so in the end I bit the bullet and flew back to England. I found myself standing on the doorstep of my childhood home, still unsure what to say. My mother answered and after a tense moment she threw her arms round me and told me that she loved me and everything was going to be OK. I said I loved her too and was sorry for everything I put them through and that I’d be better from now on. She cried. I cried. Dad cried. Then, with all the emotions out in the open we were a family again. I stayed with them for a while, part of me wishes I could have stayed with them forever. But one thing I learned from Doctor McGowen’s program was that while I can take comfort in these things I am an adult with my own life to live. And so, I returned to my home in America and thought about what sort of adult I wanted to be. I still wanted to be a singer, I was certain of that. But the time had come to take control of myself and not let everyone else control my image. It was time to make the music I wanted to make. Fortunately, I had the resources to make this happen and I set to work on a new album. My recent experiences provided me with no end of raw material to work with and the music poured out of me I was recording in no time. I released the album under my real name as I felt that ‘Jen Pop’ was a teen idol and a relic of my past. After everything that happened my old label was happy to be rid of me, so I went independent. When it was released the album did OK. I’d love to say that my direction brought me more success than ever but this simply wasn’t the case. ‘Jen Pop’ had been manufactured to appeal to the most people and everyone responsible for that image knew what they were doing. But in all honesty, I didn’t care because I was doing what I wanted. This new album was the most personal project I’d worked on that was the most important thing. Most of my old fans lost interest but some stayed loyal and I even gained some new ones. Of course, life wasn’t plain sailing, whatever direction you take there will always be hardships and challenges. But I always remembered my experiences and if things ever felt they were getting too much I’d just go home, slip on a diaper and escape to a blissful, care free headspace.
  8. Good to know, thank you. I'm hard at work on my new story now, my new lead is very different to Jen but she's connected with theatre so clothing will still play an important part in how she presents herself and views other. I'll try to keep what you've said in mind and not repeat the same mistakes.
  9. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. Generally I prefer to keep things short rather than run the risk of dragging it out too long, especially as I was struggling to find time while I was originally writing it.
  10. Thank you for your feedback. I'm always looking to improve my writing so it would be foolish not to seek out crticism. I'll take what you said under advisement. I know that over-wording is a bad habit of mine so I'll try to be more mindful of that in the future. The part about the level of detail was interesting, originally I wanted to create as complete a picture as possible but it's useful to know that I need to keep things more focused and relevant. I would argue that the relevance was that Jen was someone with a very carefully controlled image and how she presents herself (ie. how she dresses) was important. I also intended her to be a bit shallow at the beginning with the loss of her clothes representing a loss of her old life. However if these ideas didn't come across then it's my failing as a writer. However I'd be lying if I said that the detailed description of her underwear wasn't to indulge my own fetish for such things, call it wilfully gratuitous. But if you do get past that first stumbling block then I'd be interested in any further thoughts you have, hopefully once she's in the prison things will improve. No one sets out to write bad characters but intent and execution are two very different things. I tried to make my protagonist a good character but ultimately it's not for me to say how well I succeeded.
  11. I was hoping someone on here would be willing to give me some feedback on my story, particularly with regard to my writing of the female protagonist. Recently I came across this article on male writers inabilities to write female characters and I began to wonder how I fared in this department. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/apr/06/cleavage-male-authors-women-writer I'm particularly interested as I'm about to embark on a serious non-fetish writing project with a female lead. Did I do well or were there any moments that made people roll their eyes and go "Ugh, that was clearly written by a man"? I'll grant you that since this is a fetish story I did focus on Jen's underwear (among other things) more than I would under other circumstances but I didn't linger on her breasts much so maybe I'm on the right track? Any and all comments greatly appreciated.
  12. Chapter 3 Standing in the solitary confinement cell I honestly can't believe this shit is still legal. When they first put me in here I was angry, I screamed and I raged into my gag until I was hoarse. Then I cried. And now? I don't know how long I've been in here and I'm going out of my mind. There's nothing in here, the walls are bare, no human contact and no stimulation of any kind. It's just me alone with my thoughts. There is a toilet in here but even that seems like a cruel joke as the guards neglected to remove my restraint mittens and try as I might I wasn't able to open the tapes or pull down my diaper. After trying to attract the attention of a guard and holding it on as long as possible I relented in favour of using my diaper for the second time that day. Even then I felt like I was trading one discomfort for another as it was the start of another prolonged period of wetness. I was really starting to wish Marcia's comment about diaper rash cream hadn't turned out to be a joke, I was sure I'd be needing some very soon. How did I end up here? The life of celebrity was certainly nothing like I’d expected it to be. Right now I longed for my old, carefree life, the one that ended the moment I entered that damned talent contest. Despite what people said about me I’d worked hard to get here; I’d been taking singing lessons for years, spent hours a day practicing and gave everything I had to each audition and performance. And when I won the first prize I thought all of my dreams had come true, so where did it all go wrong? I knew all about the pitfalls of fame but I thought I could avoid them. I thought I was smarter than this, I thought I’d be better than this. Then instead of rising above all the temptations I allowed myself to be swallowed up by them. I remember my first time, some friend of a friend of my manager approached me at a party. Despite my instincts telling me ‘no’ I felt on top of the world and that surely one time wouldn’t hurt? And that was the slippery slope that led me through a drug fuelled haze of debauched parties, that awful car wreck and eventually here; in a wet diaper in solitary confinement. For the first time since the trial I felt like I deserved to be in here. Maybe what the judge said was true, maybe I am no better than a spoiled child and I’m being punish accordingly. After what felt like forever the peep whole of my cell was opened and the face of Doctor McGowen, a face I had grown to hate, appeared. “How are you Miss Pope?” he asked, “Getting comfortable in there?” Given the state I was in the question was clearly designed to either mock or provoke me. In response, all I could do was let out a low, pathetic moan. “Just as I thought. Come along now, it’s time to go back to your room.” Doctor McGowen left shortly afterwards but he entrusted Barbara the guard to escort me back to my cell. The combination of the restraints, gag and diaper clearly created quite the spectacle as crowds of other inmates gathered to watch me walk through the corridor. When we reached my cell I was greeted by Jaqueline, a concerned look on her face. “Oh, Baby Girl, what have they done to you?” She reflexively reached up to undo the straps of my pacifier gag but stopped in response to a low rumbling from Barbara. “Don’t even think about it Jaqueline,” the guard said. “Orders from the top; she’s to be left like until such time Dr McGowen feels she has been sufficiently punished. If you try to lessen this punishment then I can make life extremely difficult for you too. I’ll be back to check on you later” I garbled some words into my gag, trying to tell Jacqueline; “it’s OK, I don’t want you to get into trouble for me.” I don’t know how much of it got through. Jaqueline sat down on the bunk, inviting me to sit next to her. She took me in her arms and began to gently stroke my hair. “It’s going to be OK,” she said soothingly. “Mamma Jacqueline is going to make everything right for you.” She got up and went over the door. I watched as she caught the eye of a male guard on the next floor. “Yo, Deke!” She called, “I need a word.” “Now?” He sighed. “Yeah, now.” A few minutes later the guard identified as ‘Deke’ appeared at our cell door, “What do you want Mrs Kenrick?” He asked. “I need you to take me up to see the shrink right now.” “I can’t do that Mrs Kenrick, you know I can’t.” In response Jaqueline leaned in close and whispered (although I suspect deliberately loud enough for me to hear) “You remember a few weeks ago when I caught you with that cute little redhead from B wing?” Deke nodded and swallowed hard. “And remember how I was very nice and didn’t tell anyone?” Deke nodded again. “Well I’m calling in my favour.” “For her?” he asked, gesturing towards me. “Yeah, for her.” “And then we’re even?” “Yep, now make it happen.” Jacqueline walked over to me, bent down and gently kissed me on the forehead. “Don’t worry Sugar,” she said, “I’m going to have a chat with the nice doctor and I’m going to make things better for you. Make yourself comfortable, I won’t be long” And with that she left. I rolled onto my back and starred at the top bunk. I couldn’t believe what I’d just seen. I was still learning my way around prison culture but even I knew that a favour from a guard was incredibly valuable currency and Jaqueline had traded hers for me without a second thought. When I think back on my life and my relationships with other people this is the most selfless thing anyone has ever done for me. I tried to get comfortable in the bunk as I waited. Since my ordeal in the laundry room no one had seen fit to replace the bottoms of my prison uniform and so I stared down at my bear legs and the bulk of the pink floral diaper between them. I shifted around slightly, painfully conscious that I still needed changing. I started to wonder what Doctor McGowen’s ultimate goal with his treatment program was. The prison experience was gruelling enough without the added humiliation of the diapers and the disproportional punishments that were being meted out to me. Did he really think this was less likely to make me offend again? As I mused on these I noticed a crowd starting to gather on the landing outside my cell. They were mostly the older generation of prisoners who thus far I’d had limited contact with. They spoke in hushed whispers and while I couldn’t make out what they were saying it seemed different to the comments I usually elicited in here. Gone was the mocking tone I’d become used to, even before the diapers, and instead they sounded like a group of concerned mothers. When they realised I was watching them they began to disperse although one white haired lady stopped to flash me an encouraging smile before disappearing. Shortly afterwards Jaqueline returned. The first thing she did was undo the strap round my head and release my mouth from the pacifier gag. “Thank you,” I breathed as I flexed my jaw and rolled my tongue round to make the most of my mouth’s new-found freedom. “I spoke to the shrink,” Jaqueline said as she sat down next to me. “We agreed that there need to be some adjustments made to the way you’re treated. I couldn’t get you out of the diapers just yet but we’ve come to a new arrangement. Responsibility for your changes has been transferred from the nursing staff to a designated individual; me.” As if waiting for their cue Deke arrived at the cell along with one of the nurses. Between them the all of the paraphernalia required for diaper changes; stacks of the pink floral diapers, a matching changing mat and a bag containing all the creams and powders. The cell wasn’t particularly big but they managed to find room for all of it. Jaqueline began ushering everyone else out of the cell as soon as the supplies had been unloaded and as soon as we were alone she said, “Now, I think someone needs a change.” This was the first change I had wearing the regular diaper as opposed to the pull-up and as well as the first change performed by Jaqueline. Exhausted from the events of the day all I could do was just sit back and let he take charge. She unfastened the tapes and I felt a blessed wave of coolness come over the area. Glancing down I noticed that my pussy was looking red and Jaqueline made a concerned clucking noise. Looks like my worst fear had come true, the night in the cart followed by my stint in solitary had led to the dreaded diaper rash. Jaqueline rummaged through one of the bags and emerged with a tube of cream. I’m not going to lie, when she applied that cooling cream I can’t remember the last time it felt so good. It came as another reminder of being trapped in here, it had been a few weeks now but it felt like forever since I’d had any kind of intimate contact with someone. I suddenly became self-conscious about the large grin that was currently plastered across my face. I forced myself to stop and looked bashfully away from Jaqueline. Mercifully the awkwardness of the situation was defused when she said, “It’s nice to finally see you smile.” Before taping me up into a fresh diaper. Over the next few days my rash cleared up nicely, helped of course by a lack of further accidents. While being kept in these diapers was not ideal the diaper changes with Jaqueline were far better than having diaper checks in the shower every day. I even got a few minutes without the diaper each day as she’d remove the one from the day before when we got up and only put the clean one on after the shower. The downside of course is that there was no disguising the fact that I was in diapers any more. These had more of a bulk to them than either the Goodnites or the Tenas so it was obvious to everyone who cared to look that I was wearing one and I’m sure the crinkle was more pronounced as well. However, I started to notice a change in attitude towards me. Other prisoners, particularly the older ones seemed to have shifted from mocking me to flashing me encouraging smiles. I’m sure on one occasion I saw one chastising another for their remarks towards me. And then in line for breakfast one morning the server winked at me and slipped an extra poached egg onto my tray. It was such a weird sensation, like somehow the consensus had switched from them all hating me to wanting to be my mother. And for a while the prison experience became the most tolerable that it ever was. But of course, nothing lasts forever. It was dinner time. Sadly the food situation was one which had not changed in any significant way. I was unenthusiastically picking at their approximation of meatloaf, accompanied with some sorry excuse for vegetables and reconstituted potato product #3. I became aware of a deathly hush coming over the room. I looked up in time to see Tether striding across the room at alarming pace. She had her two cronies from the laundry room by her side and she was heading directly towards me. I froze, from the outside I must have seemed like rabbit in the headlights and Tether was most certainly the eighteen-wheeler heading straight towards me. Using both hands she grabbed me and pulled me to my feet, “Hey, Diaper Rash” she snarled, her face almost pressed up against mine. Great I thought, she heard. “You must be so fucking pleased with yourself,” Tether continued, “Looks like you’ve got half of these bitches playing mommy for you. You can’t even go to prison without becoming a spoiled little baby, can you? Well this this is how I deal with spoiled little babies!” With that she punched me hard in the stomach. The pain was unlike anything I’d felt before, I doubled over and collapsed to the floor the wind knocked out of me. I started to look round in a panic, where were the guards? Weren’t the supposed to stop this? One brave soul seemed to have stepped to my defence but was being pushed back by one of the croneis, clearly on crowd control duties. “I did not tell you to get down,” Tether said mockingly. I tried to stand but she pushed me back down by planting one of her sneakers hard on my chest. “I did not tell you to get up!” Keeping he one foot on me she began to tug and my prison issue bottoms, yanking them off and showing off my pink floral diaper for all to see. She cast them aside and returned to where I’d been sitting. “Now! Get up!” she sneered, “I want you to crawl to me. Crawl like the baby you are.” Shaking I pulled myself to my hands and knees. I could see no other way out of this. Tether was bigger and stronger than I was and I’d never been in a fight in my life. The pain from her initial assault still shot though me and I knew I couldn’t take much more. Maybe this was the coward’s way but what choice did I have? Unsteadily I began to crawl towards Tether. I can only imagine how pathetic the scene was, crawling along with my diapered butt in the air no doubt looking like I was about to cry. By the look on Tether’s face she clearly knew she’d won. As I approached she slipped off each of her prison issue sneakers then slowly and deliberately peeled off her socks leaving her bare feet exposed. “Kiss them” she commanded, wiggling her toes in my face, “show everyone you’re my little bitch baby now.” Again my eyes darted around the room. I could see no one coming to my aid so I raised my hand and took the sole of Tether’s foot. Gently I brought my lips down onto the arch of her foot planting a delicate kiss. Tether let out a harsh laugh, “Good baby,” she mocked. As she did she leaned in and squeezed my cheeks with more pressure than was necessary. She then leaned back and placed her foot flat against my face, “now suck my toes.” “What….?” The words just slipped out and I instantly regretted it. “You heard me, my little diaper bitch. I want you to suck on each of my toes and I want you to thank me for the privilege. Because I own you now and I want everyone in here to know that.” Holding back the tears I opened my mouth as Tether pushed in her big toe. My first reflex was to gag, her foot hygiene clearly left a lot to be desired but I choked the feeling down for fear of what she would do. Obediently I began to work her foot with my mouth. In response Tether threw back her head and laughed a loud, harsh laugh. “Yes!” she breathed, a hint of excitement creeping into her voice. This was it, after everything that had happened this was truly it for me, absolute rock bottom. I didn’t know how I was going to face the world again once this was over. And then a new voice sounded through the cafeteria. “Get away from my Baby Girl!” Jacqueline! “Jacqueline!” Tether spat. She pulled her foot out of my mouth and drew herself up to her full height. I was finally able to tear my eyes way from my tormentor and watched as my cell mate rapidly strode across the cafeteria. “I mean it Tether,” Jacqueline continued, “You get away from her right now!” “Or what?” Tether barked. Jacqueline didn’t respond. Instead she broke into a run and ploughed straight into Tether sending the two of them sprawling across the table and onto the floor. What followed as chaos. While they had been slow to react Tether’s two cronies dived in, trying to pull Jacqueline away from their leader. But while that was happening other inmates were getting involved too, pushing back against them. Maybe they’d wanted to help me before but needed the call to action? Or maybe they simply hated Tether and were seizing the chance to hit back? Then again, they could just have been waiting for the opportunity for a good fight? I didn’t know and I was probably never going to find out. As the scene of violence infolded in front of me I did the only thing I could, I crawled away and took cover under a table. I wished I could have done more, but it was all just too much. “Come on!” I looked up to see a hand being offered to me. Its owner was an inmate, maybe in her late 40’s to early 50’s with short spikey bleached blond hair. I’d seen her around but didn’t know she was. I stayed frozen to the spot. “Come one Baby Powder,” she hissed with more urgency. “Guards are on their way and you don’t want to get trapped here.” In that moment, the fog cleared and my mind snapped to alertness. I took her hand as she led me away from the brawl. Just was we got out into the corridor I could see large numbers of guards pushing past us into the cafeteria to try and control the population. As I paused to catch my breath a single guard approached me. It was Barbara, of course. For a fleeting moment I thought she was going to enquire as to my wellbeing but instead I found myself pushed up against the wall with my arm forced into an uncomfortable position of restraint. “Don’t move,” she whispered into my ear, “don’t even breathe.” Soon I found myself being led through the corridors by my least favourite guard. She pushed me roughly into my cell and locked the door behind me. My mind whirled as I tried to process everything that had just happened. My primary concern was Jacqueline though, I hadn’t seen her since the fight began. She looked like she was someone who could handle herself but with that many people involved you never know what’s going to happen. And then there was the repercussions, she was clearly the one who started the fight and somehow, I doubted that the Warden would view her as the hero that I did. My one encounter with him had left a very bad taste in my mouth and he certainly didn’t come across someone interested in all sides to a story. After some time, Barbara came back to my cell. “Gather your things,” she said. “What about Jacqueline?” I asked. “Forget about her. Come on.” “But…” “Gather your things, now!” Reluctantly I put together the few possessions I had in here and placed them in the designated bag. Barbara led me through a series of locked doors, retracing the steps she made me take when I first arrived. We returned to the spot where I’d been dropped off. Instead of a prison transport there was now a minivan waiting for me. The door was opened by a man I’d never seen before, dressed in a white nurse’s uniform. Barbara bundled me into the back and the male nurse strapped me in. The seatbelts were odd, the standard ones seemed to have been swapped out for ones that formed a cross over my torso, like ones you’d see on a child’s car seat. Soon we were off and I found myself gazing out the window watching the scenery pass by. It was certainly preferable to looking down as once again I found myself stripped of my bottoms with bare legs and a diaper on show. Why did this keep happening to me? As the minivan went along I could see we were heading back towards the city. I wondered where they were taking me, presumably another prison since I seem to have been the cause of a riot at the last one. Great, I thought, this is going to look great on my records. But we didn’t arrive at a prison. The outside of the building looked like it was some kind of clinic. “We’ve arrived,” announced the nurse as the driver pulled up round the back. I was led in through a side door and taken through a sterile white corridor. The final door we passed though led to my destination and the biggest surprise of the day. I don’t know what I was expecting, another cell or perhaps a padded room for crazy people. Instead the room was laid out like an adult sized nursery. The decor was a soft baby pink, a variety of toys were placed neatly around the room and in the centre was an adult sized crib. There to greet me was Doctor McGowen. “Are you ready to be a good girl for me, Jennifer?” he asked. In that moment the memory everything that I’d been thorough came over me like a wave. My debauched behaviour that had alienated me from those who cared and landed me in court. The judge’s assertion that I was a ‘spoiled child’. The seemingly endless string of humiliation endured during my time inside. The only good thing to have happened to me was my relationship with Jacqueline and now she was surely facing more punishment and being kept away from her family from even longer because of me. It was my fault all of it, it was all because of my own stupid selfish behavior. That’s when I saw what this was; a second chance. And damned if I wasn’t going to take it. I tried to answer but the words were stuck in my throat. All I could manage as a little, choked “yes.” The End. Epilogue to follow
  13. A little behind schedule but here's Chapter 2: Jacqueline walked with me to the showers the following morning. I have no idea what she's in for but it became apparent quite quickly that the other inmates respected her and they left me alone while I was in her company. I knew so little about her but it just didn't feel right to question her and I kept quiet. When we arrived at the showers I was met by a nurse who performed a diaper check, noting the result down on a clipboard. When I came out she issued me with a fresh Tena as well as my new uniform, this time in pink, and even though it fitted a lot better than my last I hated it more. On a normal day I'm not adverse to wearing pink, my wardrobe is a veritable rainbow of outfits, but this is an environment where you don't want to stand out and being a lone pink in a sea of yellow is never a good look. It didn't help when Jacqueline explained that in here pink was considered the 'punishment' uniform colour and that mine looked like it hand been shipped over from the juvenile facility on accounts on my size. Jacqueline sat with me through breakfast after which we returned to the cell. Given everything I'd been through the previous day the toilet seemed somehow less imposing. “Who's my big girl?” Jacqueline said jokingly after I used it for the first time. This become my routine for a while, a nurse would take me aside and give me a diaper check before the morning shower and then when I came out give me a light dusting of baby powder as well as a new Tena. The sweet smell that now accompanied me meant that 'Baby Powder' became my prison nickname although sometimes they liked to throw in variations like 'Baby Cakes', 'Baby Doll', or 'Baby Girl'. Honestly, I've been called worse. While keeping me in diapers was humiliating I did have to grudgingly admit that they were a lot more comfortable to wear than those horrible prison panties they'd issued me with. Because unlike the panties Tena were at least designed for comfort. **** After a while I received my first visitor. “You did what!?” my lawyer practically screamed at me, resulting in her getting a stern warning from the guard. I was taken aback by her outburst. She's usually such a pro in these situations. I had just explained to her about my recent troubles and the forced diaper wearing in the hopes that she could use her super lawyer powers to do something about it. She had me recant the story from the beginning and I'd just gotten to the part where Doctor McGowen made me sign the contract. “I signed the contract,” I repeated sheepishly, sensing the intense disapproval. “Jen, honey, you know I love you but that was really dumb. Did I teach you nothing; you never sign anything before I look at it first.” “Sorry Marcia,” I said, hanging my head in shame. The sad truth of the situation is that I'd become accustomed to Marcia or my manager reviewing everything before I even saw it I generally did sign whatever document was put in front of me without a second thought. This came as another harsh reminder of how alone I was in here. “Don't be sorry to me,” she sighed, “Be sorry to yourself.” “Is there anything you can do?” I asked. “Maybe. Look Jen, I don't want to labour the point but you did sign the contract and so in the short-term Doctor McGowen and his company have your consent to perform whatever cruel and unusual punishment they see fit. I'll have my people contact his people and then I'll go over the contract myself with a fine tooth-comb see what I can make of it. Maybe I can find some way to get you out but I can't promise anything. This guy got permission to conduct his rehabilitation program in here so I'd imagine it's been looked over by a team of legal experts from his company and the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation already but if I find anything I'll let you know. “Thanks Marcia, you're the best.” “That I am. And in the meantime, I'll send you some diaper rash cream.” As she left I tried to work out whether she was joking or not, her sense of humour is so dry I often couldn't tell. **** Marcia's departure left me in something of a sombre mood. So far she had been my only visitor. It's not surprising really; my parents went back to England after the trial, dad had tried to call but I'm not ready to speak to either of them yet. My success quickly isolated me from those I'd been close to growing up and for all the people who attended my parties or profited off my success none of them were ever really friends. It came as no surprise that none of them felt compelled to stand by me. I'd become so used to getting everything I wanted that I never realised that there was no one I could turn to in times of need. It seemed only fitting that my only visitor was only here because she was being paid. Maybe Doctor McGowen and the judge were right, maybe I was no better than a spoiled child. While I waited for Marcia to get me out of the contract I just kept my head down and tried to get on with prison life. I signed up to one of the educational programs, I thought I may as well learn something while I was in here and damned if I'm going to let myself be exploited as a source of cheap labour. I’d been in prison almost two weeks now. I was on my way to the showers with Jacqueline when I was approached by the diaper check nurse. Instead of performing her customary inspection she asked me to accompany her to the nurse's station. Jacqueline immediately got defensive, positioning herself between me and the perceived threat. “It'll be OK,” I told her and she relaxed a little, “Go on without me.” Once in the nurse’s station I was introduced to a nervous looking young man. “This gentleman is part of our pharmacy department,” the nurse explained, “Would you kindly tell miss Pope what you told me.” “Jen..... sorry miss Pop...I mean Pope,” he stammered, “It is my responsibility to procure medication as well as other specialised items of that nature for this establishment. I'm in charge of ordering in your.... special underwear. You see, stocks were running low and so I ordered more, as is procedure. However, there was a bit of a mix up....” My heart skipped a beat, have I finally caught a break? Surely they can't me wear diapers if they don't have any? Between this and a string of successful diaper checks (I had no problems since the initial incident) maybe I was free of these humiliating things? “... and these came in by mistake” My optimism was short lived. Instead of producing the familiar blue packaging of the Tena Underwear the pharmacy guy instead produced a pink package declaring themselves to be 'Goodnites Bedtime Underwear'. They had got to be kidding. “You have got to be kidding,” I said. “I am so sorry. Of course, I take full responsibility for this. It's just that....” “It's just that you're wearing the last Tena now,” the nurse interjected, clearly tired the pharmacy guy's stammering, “Under normal circumstances we would simply contact the supplier and demand the correct product. However we don't have the luxury of time. Doctor McGowen has left explicit instructions that you are to be diapered at all times and right now these are only option.” “The good news,” pharmacy guy added, “is that they do appear to be your size....” He stopped as he realised that both me and the nurse were glaring at him. “Look,” said the nurse matter of factly, “I know it's not ideal but we don't really have another choice. The buying office will be placing a new order soon, you just need to co-operate and wear these for a couple of days until the next delivery arrives and then you can go back to your normal Tenas. Deal?” I sighed. The situation was far from ideal but it appeared to be the best offer I was going to get. “Deal,” I said somewhat reluctantly. “Good call. I'll take you back to the showers myself and supervise you into the Goodnite. Then you're free to get on with your day.” The pharmacy guy was dismissed and I walked back to the showers with the nurse. The one good thing to come out of this was the shower room was now clear so I took my first private shower since I'd arrived and for a few beautiful minutes I forgot my troubles. But as I was drying myself off the nurse approached with my next diaper in her hands and I got my first proper look at what I was being forced to wear. On any other day I might have thought it was cute; the Goodnite was purple with a picture of a butterfly as well as other swirly patterns. I held in in my hands and the first thing I noticed was that it felt different to the Tena, it felt more like I'd expect a diaper to feel and there was a definite crinkling sound when it moved. As I pulled it up my legs I couldn't help but feel that in that moment I didn't look like a pop star or an inmate but a little girl with a bedwetting problem. On top of that there was more of a bulk between my legs which was going to take some getting used to. “Adorable,” said the nurse. I think she was trying to lighten the mood but it came off more as patronising. I redressed in my uniform and headed out into the prison. This new diaper made me feel much more self-conscious than the old ones; it was like every step produced a crinkling sound. I silently hoped that I was the only one that could hear it. Almost as soon as I was out of sight of the shower block I felt a pair of hands grab me roughly and pushed me against a wall. I yelped in surprise but a hand came up to cover my mouth. “You must think you're so special Baby Powder,” snarled my attacker, “trips to the shrink, Jacqueline looking out for you and now you're getting escorts for your own private shower time.” I starred helplessly. She was much bigger than I was, at least a foot taller and solidly built. Her blonde hair was cropped short and a tattoo of chain links ran across her fingers before disappearing up her sleeve and re-emerging around her neck. “But you're not! You're no different from the rest of the meat in here. You're not safe, not from me! Jacqueline can't protect you forever and the guards turn their backs more often than you think...” Her words hung ominously in the air as she disappeared around the corner. I just stood on the spot shaking. No one had ever threatened me before, at least not to my face. Suddenly my enforced diaper wearing became the least of my problems as the feelings of dread and fear for my safety returned. I opted to skip my education time for the day. I'd happily take whatever the repercussions for that were for that as I was sure they would be preferable to whatever chain link tattoo lady had planned for me. When Jacqueline returned I told her what had happened. She hugged me gently but with the look of concern on her face it really didn't put me at ease. “That's Tether, she got here by abducting her cheating ex and now she's self-proclaimed 'queen of the laundry'. If she's taken notice of you then you need to watch yourself, she's not someone you want to mess with.” “You'll look after me, right?” “You know I will. But still be careful. I'll do what I can for you but I can't be everywhere.” Days past and things didn't get much better. Each morning I asked the diaper check nurse about the status of the Tenas and every morning she told me the same thing; that they were in contact with the suppliers it would take another day or two to resolve. Then she would hand me a fresh Goodnites along with a sprinkling of baby powder and send me on my way. I was sure something wasn't right so I started counting. I'd noticed that Goodnites came in packs of twelve so all I had to do was wait until they got to the end and if they produced a 13th then I would know something was up. We were up to six now so all I had to do was wait. I communicated this development along with my suspicions to Marcia as I hoped it would give her a bit more ammunition in her attempts to get me out of my contract. But soon things took a turn for the worse. I was returning from my day with education. The wing was reasonably empty with most back in their cells already. As I passed a door open a crack I heard a voice say “Hey, little help in here.” Without a second thought I moved closer to investigate. I immediately regretted it as I was pulled inside and the door slammed shut behind me. Hands grabbed me roughly from either side as I was frogmarched down the corridor. From the smell and my slowly learning the layout I quickly realised I was in the laundry room, which could only mean one thing. Sure enough I found myself face to face with Tether. “Hello Baby Powder,” she sneered, “nice of you to drop by.” “Tether,” I said polity acknowledging her. I tried to remain calm but inside I was terrified with no idea what she was planning on doing to me. My eyes scanned the laundry room looking for a guard, or failing that anyone who wasn't Tether or her cronies. “No one else here,” Tether said, seemingly aware of what I was looking for. “Guards have learned to leave me to myself in here, no one's coming for you.” “What do you want from me?” I blurted out. “What do I want? Nothing. See, I don't like you Baby Powder. I didn't like you even before you got here, you were just some shitty pop star singing shitty music.” Wow, that hurt. “But now I have to spend time here with you I like you even less. I want you to know who's in charge here....” And with that her hand shot forward and grabbed by crotch. But instead of continuing with her speech she seemed to stop in confusion at the crinkling, scrunching sound that ensued. As if to test she had really heard it she squeezed a few more times. She grabbed the waistband of my uniform bottoms and pulled them down, showing off my Goodnite to all who were present. There was an awkward pause before finally she let out a harsh laugh. “Man, I knew they kept you in diapers but I never thought they'd get you your own special girly ones. What happened Baby Powder, you pee yourself?” I said nothing but I could feel my cheeks burning red. “Oh my God! You peed yourself didn't you? How long did you last in here before you peed yourself like a little girl? And why'd they get you your own special diapers? Regular stuff not good enough for you huh? “That's not fair!” I retorted, “They made me wear this.” “Oh shut up,” said Tether. There was a horrible moment as a thought flashed across her face, “So you hate panties huh?” “No,” I said, “don't be ridiculous.” Tether walked over to a laundry cart, filled to the brim with worn underwear. She plucked a pair of white panties off the top and walked towards me ominously. She grabbed my cheeks with one hand in an attempt to force my mouth open. I struggled and fought against her but she was much bigger and stronger than me and with one of her cronies on each side there wasn't much I could do. Once she had my mouth open she proceeded to stuff the panties in. My sounds of protest dissolved into a muffled “mmppphh mmmppphhh” sound. With one hand still over my mouth Tether leaned in close and whispered “If you even think of spitting those out I will fuck you up, got it?” Reluctantly I nodded. With the panties filling my mouth I tried not to think about where they'd been. Next Tether went back to the cart and retrieved several bras. She threw them to her crones and demanded them to bind my hands and feet. I tried to fight it but it was hopeless. Once I was immobilised they dragged me over to an empty cart where upon Tether's instructions they threw me roughly inside. I writhed around helplessly, eventually ending up on my back as the least uncomfortable position. I thought it was over but I heard low voices and the squeaking of wheels. My laundry cart rocked, as if another hand bumped into it. Then as I looked out over the top my field of vision was filled with the other cart, the one that contained all the worn underwear. My eyes widened in fear and I let out a loud muffled scream as bras and panties began to tumble on top of me. Tether laughed as I was buried under a mountain of dirty underwear. **** I peed myself. Again. I really didn't have much choice, I was immobilised at the bottom of the laundry cart and the room was abandoned. No one knew I was there so when the urge came over me all I could do was just let it out. And so I lay there with panties in my mouth and a soaking wet diaper. My limbs began to cramp from the uncomfortable pose I was forced into while the smell of the dirty laundry filled my nostrils. I don't know how long I was in there but it was awful. My time in prison had been pretty unpleasant so far but this had to be a new low for me. After some time I heard footsteps and voices. I sprang into action, screaming into the gag and throwing my body around to shake the cart. My stomach lurched as the cart was tipped up and I was spilled out onto the laundry room floor along with all its contents and I was free! The first thing I did was to spit the panties out of my mouth and take my first blessed gasps of fresh air. My elation was short lived however as I was dragged roughly to my feet by a pair of guards, one of them being Barbara. Of course. “So, this is where you've been hiding,” she sneered. “Hiding?” I responded, “I've been trapped in here.” “You've caused quite a disturbance and now you're going to see the warden.” “C-can't I clean myself up first?” I stammered. “Fresh bottoms, clean diaper, something?” “Ugh, you've peed yourself again,” Barbara said with disgust, “no you filthy little girl you don't get to clean yourself up, you're going to the warden right now.” At this stage I'm starting to lose track of how many times I've been led through the prison in a humiliating state of undress. I'd like to say that I was getting used to it but as all eyes turned to me I just wanted to run away and hide. This time was certainly the worst yet as I prayed that the other inmates couldn't see the yellow stains on the front of my pull-ups. Finally, we made it to the office and I at least had some degree of privacy. Warden Adams was sat behind his desk and to absolutely no surprise Doctor McGowen stood next to him. “Miss Pope,” the warden said, “I am most put out by your latest incident. Not only have you had a string of accidents but now you've been found messing around in the laundry room.” “Messing about?!” I blurted out, “I was trapped in there, buried under a disgusting pile of dirty laundry. It was absolute hell in there so don't make out this was some kind of game for me!” Warden Adams remained calm. “So, who did this to you?” he asked, “Give me their name and I will see to it that they are appropriately punished. I hesitated. My first instinct was to give Tether up straight away but I remembered the old adage 'snitches get stitches'. As angry as I was about what Tether had done to me I realised it was better to keep my mouth shut; she has the luxury of time and I had no doubt she could wait out whatever punishment was given to her and take revenge on me later. “I don't know,” I sighed. “Just as I thought. When your absence was first noted but some of the guards thought you might be trying to escape. But I knew you'd turn up and your disappearance was nothing more than the games of a silly little girl.” “Now listen here!” I exploded, “I was assaulted on that laundry room! If your guards didn't have it out for me they'd tell you they found me with my hands tied. I will not sit here and listen to this.” By this time I'd risen to my feet and was leaning in with my face only inches from the warden. “You're clearly upset,” Doctor McGowen interjected, “Maybe this will help you calm down.” He reached over and inserted a plain white pacifier into my mouth. I immediately spat it out. “Fuck you.” I said. An unnerving silence came across the room, it was as no one even dared breathe. Finally, Doctor McGowen broke the science. “That as a very silly thing to do.” I felt myself being grabbed from behind as the two guards manhandled me back into the chair. I tried to get back up but they held me firm. Doctor McGowen approached and from somewhere he had produced a second pacifier. But this one was different; it was baby pink, was attached to matching leather straps and the nuk was larger than before. It was clear what he planned to do with it so I shut my mouth and put as much force as I could to keeping it that way. As I struggled with the guards holding me in place Doctor McGowen forced my mouth open and jammed the pacifier inside. I screamed into it as hard as I could as he tightened the straps which secured it in place. Next, he set to work securing my writs with a pair of leather straps and once I was completely immobilised he took a step back. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?” he asked. In response I let out more muffled screams into the gag and shook the chair as hard as I could. “I see,” Doctor McGowen muttered as he removed his belt. He doubled the leather belt over, forming a loop which he brought down hard onto my thigh. My muffled screams turned from protest to pain. “Mmmmmmmmppppppphh!” He brought the belt down again on my other thigh and then proceeded to beat them again and again. After a few agonising minutes with tears welling up in my eyes, he stopped. “Are you ready to behave?” He asked and I nodded in response, too worn out to keep fighting. He leaned and began to tug at the seams either side of my Goodnite. Once they were apart pulled the wet diaper out from under me leaving me naked and exposed. Once again, he set to work cleaning my pussy with a pack of baby wipes. For now fighting him seemed pointless so I just let him get on with it, panting to regain my breath. Once he'd finished he knelt down and looked my straight in the eye. “Given your continued accidents you're going to be in diaper a while longer. And after that latest outburst I think I'm going to put you into something a little more appropriate...” He went back to the desk where he busied himself removing items from a bag. The baby power was a familiar site by this time but the new diaper he had for me a more troubling. It was clearly an adult size but it had the hourglass shape and visible tapes of a baby diaper. It was in a soft baby pink to match the pacifier was decorated in a floral pattern. “Your Goodnites were clearly to grown up for you,” he continued, “I'm sure you'll feel a lot more comfortable in these.” All I could do is shake my head in response and try and moan the word 'no' into my gag. As he got closer I started to wriggle my lower half in a futile attempt to keep myself away from him. “Come on now Jennifer, be a good girl and let me put this on you,” he said sounding more slimy that soothing, “Or am I going to have to get the belt again?” With the threat of violence I reluctantly complied. He positioned the diaper under my butt and I shuddered ant the loud crinkling noise that came with it. Once it was in place he applied some baby powder to my crotch before pulling the front of the diaper up and fastening it with the tapes. I thought my humiliation was over but Doctor McGowen clearly more in store for me. He retrieved a pair of medical mittens from his bag and with the aid of the guards they were forced onto my hands. He released my hand from my restraints but the moment I was up my hands were forced behind my back and clipped together. “Good,” said Warden Adams, “now take her to solitary.”
  14. I've just found out about the lost stories so I thought I'd take the opportunity to repost mine. This time there should'd be the wait like there was before as I'll be posting one chapter a week until it's finished. Enjoy (again). The Reformation of Jen Pop by Pwy Ydy'r Tad Chapter 1 My name is Jennifer Pope but the world knows me better by my stage name; Jen Pop. I'm only twenty-three but I've been in this business so long that I feel much older, especially now. I've done a lot in my short time in this world; I've been places and seen things that some people would only dream of but I missed out on so much too. Some said I never really grew up and on reflection I think they were right. And now I'm paying the price.... I suppose my career has a bit of a cliché. Like many little girls I dreamed of being famous and I was blessed with just enough talent to pursue that dream. I entered a national talent contest and fought my way through each round before finally claiming the top prize. Soon a team of professionals set to work remaking me to create my look, my sound and my style. After that the sweet girl from the little English village went on to become one of the biggest stars in the world and Jen Pop was born. The following years passed in a whirlwind of recording sessions and bigger and bigger tours. For a while I had everything I ever wanted; fame, popularity and more money that I knew what to do with. I quickly relocated Stateside and bought myself the big LA house I'd dreamed of and surrounded myself with sycophants and 'yes men'. When you live the life of a singing superstar you face temptation at every turn and I'm not proud to admit it but I gave into them all with wild parties with drinking, sex and of course drugs. So when I got high and decided to take my Porsche out there was no one to tell me it was a bad idea. And when I got into a horrific wreck there was no to blame but myself. I walked away with just a few cuts and bruises, but my passengers and they guy in the other vehicle weren't so lucky. Today I sit in court apprehensively awaiting my verdict. On stage I had been known for colorful outfits but right now I was trying to look respectable in a somber black skirt suit and sensible shoes. I fidgeted uncomfortable as I looked around the room. My lawyer sat next to me having done all she can do but in this case I don't think she can work miracles. I looked back towards my parents. Mum has buried her head into dad's shoulder refusing to make eye contact with me. She has every right to do so, I'm actually glad she has because it's preferable the look of disappointment on my dad's face which is just heartbreaking. I feel so tense that I'm going to burst but that was when the judge returns to deliver his final verdict. “It'll be OK,” my lawyer whispered in a final attempt to reassure me, “You're a celebrity, you'll get off lightly.” “Jennifer Pope,” he began, “I find the acts that you are here for to be appalling. In the eyes of the law you are a grown woman but your actions are that of a spoiled child. I thank God that no one was killed by your recklessness and wish a speedy recovery to those you hurt. Far too often have people in your situation have been shown too much leniency so I aim to make an example of you. I hereby sentence you to a correctional facility for the maximum time the law will allow......” I zoned out after that. This was so unfair, what happened to special treatment? I felt numb as the guards led me out of the courtroom and down to the cells. I wasn’t even thinking as I handed over all my personal possession and then I just sat with my head in my hands, I don't know how long for. After a while my lawyer came to see me, I was certainly paying her enough to stick around. She talked about appeals and stuff but I mostly just pretended to listen. I had a few more visitors after that who seemed to be there to check on my well-being and mental state. At one point I was handed a tray of food but I didn't feel much like eating, especially not the slop they were trying to force on me. Finally, they came to transfer me to the prison facility. I was led outside where the prisoner transport waited. When we arrived the other end things really started to get bad. A female guard led me into room and ordered me to strip. Wasting no time she yanked down on my jacket the second I started to remove it and let it fall untidily to the floor. My hands shook as I unbuttoned my blouse, slowly revealing a pale pink lace bra. Once the blouse had been taken I unzipped my skirt letting it fall to the floor. I rolled my pantyhose down my legs and stood in just my matching underwear set, the last vestige of my own sense of style. I lingered as long as I could but after a few seconds the guard singled her impatience so I unhooked my bra and slip off my panties. That was it, I was completely naked at the mercy of the prison system. The guard set to work searching me, checking every nook and cranny of my body for hidden contraband. And I mean every part of my body! She even brought out a mirror for my most intimate areas. On a normal day I would have made a wisecrack like 'buy me dinner first!' but today I just didn't have the energy and passively took the indignity. Once my little date with the guard was over I was handed my prison issue clothes and told to get dressed. During my time in the limelight I had become used to a certain standard of clothing, both on and off stage, and let me tell you this is the worst outfit I have ever been given to wear. The main item was a two piece prison uniform in a hideous canary yellow but somehow worse was the underwear. I looked in horror at the prison issue panties, on a close inspection they seemed were cut for a woman's figure but the style looked like the y-fronts my grandad would have worn. “Sorry princess,” the guard sneered, clearly registering my disgust, “you can't get Victoria Secret in here. Now are you going to put them on or am I going to have to make you?” Sighing I slipped the panties on and pulled them up to my hips. They felt just as bad as they looked, baggy in some places and the material was harsh and scratchy. The bra wasn't much better and together they felt awful compared to my usual lace and satin lingerie. The main uniform however was just a disaster, even though they had clearly given me the smallest size it sat baggily on my petite frame and I was forced to roll up the sleeves and legs so I wouldn't trip over. “Aren't you just the prettiest girl at the dance,” the guard said mockingly. Finally, I had a bundle of blankets and a set of plastic crockery pushed into my arms before I was led out onto the wing. As I walked past the cells and the other prisoners I was reminded of my first day at secondary school; a hostile environment where I didn't know anyone and the population looked like they would eat me alive. I wondered whether any of them recognised me or even cared who I was. Maybe I'm not even that much of a novelty as I'm sure the California prison system has no shortage of celebrities coming through their doors. We stopped abruptly in front of one of the cell doors. “Welcome to your new home,” the guard said as she ushered me inside. The cell was as basic as you'd expect, bunk beds and a small toilet area which I shuddered at the thought of using. A tiny window gave me a view to the outside world where the setting sun acted as a harsh reminded of just how long today had been. The final feature of the cell was a heavy set middle aged woman lying on the top bunk reading a magazine. She was attired in the same hideous yellow uniform as me, just several sizes bigger and apparently a lot better fitting. Despite all the events of the day weighing on me I mustered up the best smile I could. “Hi,” I said brightly, “I'm Jen.” “Uh huh,” my cell mate grunted, “How nice for you.” “Oh come on now, be nice,” the guard chimed in, “Jen, this is Jacqueline, I'm sure you two will become best friends in no time.” Her words dripped with sarcasm. “I'll just leave you to get acquainted, have fun!” And with that the guard turned on her heels and left us alone. Jacqueline still barely registered my presence and my mind started racing to think of something, anything to strike up conversation about. As if to provide inspiration my stomach started grumbling. It had been a while since I declined the “When's dinner served around here?” I asked. “You missed it.” “Oh, so when is the next meal.” “Breakfast.” “Oh, is there anything....” “Nope.” There was a brief science. As I surveyed the room something occurred to me. “What do we sleep in?” “The bed.” “No I mean clothing, do we get PJ's or anything?” “Nope, you're wearing your only outfit.” I sighed, this conversation was getting me nowhere. The events of the day were weighing heavily on me so with nothing better to do I slid into the lower bunk, curled up into the fetal position and drifted into an uneasy sleep. I was awoken when one of the officers passed my cell delivering the early morning wake up call to every prisoner. I silently wished all the events that had unfolded yesterday had all been some kind of horrible dream but as the cell came back into focus my heart sank as I realised that this wasn't the case. I rolled out of bed, my first instinct was to pee but when I looked at the toilet again I just couldn't face the prospect. “Just go,” Jacqueline muttered, “I got three kids and I've had a dozen cell mates. Trust me, you don't have anything I haven't seen before.” Despite her words of encouragement I decided to hold it. A guard escorted a bunch of prisoners to the showers and I'm sure you'll forgive me if I don't dwell on the details. I wasn't subjected to the horrors one might expect in a female prison shower but it wasn't exactly pleasant either. The showers were cold, the soap was harsh and the lack of privacy made me feel like I was being treated like an animal. Once I was washed and scrubbed and decked out in a clean uniform I was led to the cafeteria where breakfast was being served. I clutched the tray to my chest as one by one the line shortened until I got to the front. The main feature of the breakfast seemed to a large pot of what I think was meant to be oatmeal but had a strange aroma to it. “Tray” the large tattooed server demanded making me realise I was still holding it. “Is there another option?” I blurted out without thinking, “It's just that I'm on a low carb diet.” My clarification didn't seem to help matters as the server roared with laughter. “Yeah there's a low carb option you skinny bitch,” a voice whispered harshly in my ear, “I eat yours and you go without. Now quit holding up the line.” Reluctantly I accepted the bowl of oatmeal before filling the rest of my tray with two poached eggs and a slice of white toast and grabbed a glass of orange juice. I munched through my breakfast without any enthusiasm. If they force these carb heavy meals on me every day I going to be the only person to come out of prison fatter than when they went it. They'd better let me do pilates I can tell you that. Meanwhile every sip of the orange juice reminded me of my bladder. Once I'd finished one of the officers flagged me down and introduced me to another prisoner named Alex who would oversee my induction. At first glance Alex was quite intimidating; she towered over me and sported a shaved head but turned out to be quite pleasant. She explained to me how everything worked in there, the work programs, the library the gym, all of that. But first I was taken for a drug assessment in the medical wing which was carried out by a friendly good natured nurse. Given my previous history with drug use I was categorised 'at risk' and informed in no uncertain terms that I would have to submit to regular screenings. This quickly turned out to be a blessing as I was asked to give a urine sample so managed to take my first pee of my incarceration. Maybe this was the solution; I could make some comments and get bumped up to daily samples. It would certainly better this sterile office that the toilet in my cell. I quickly shook the thoughts out of my head, that wasn't a viable long term solution. Plus I'd been clean since the accident so was in little real danger. So far most of the other prisoners were more or less leaving me alone. Some called my name while others would shout my lyrics at me (in some cases inserting rude words) but no one had taken a real interest in me. The rest of the day passed, lunch and dinner were as uninspiring as breakfast and two meals later I was back to my earlier predicament with the toilet. After dinner I was back in my cell, thumbing through a book on gardening I'd found in the library. I'm not sure why I picked it up, it's not a subject I had any real interest in. I suppose it was just slim pickings in the library and the thought of attractive well maintained gardens brought back some happy childhood memories. Meanwhile Jacqueline lay on her bunk where I'd found her the first day. Our 'quiet time' was interrupted by guard, specifically the guard who had taken such delight in searching me when I'd arrived. Given the nature of the environment we weren't allowed to know the names of most of the staff so I've decided to call her Barbara. I named her after a PE teacher who also took great delight in tormenting me at school. “Miss Pope,” Barbara said loudly, “You have an appointment with the prison psychiatrist. I'm supposed to take you up.” “That's bullshit!” Jacqueline exclaimed before I could even respond. “I didn't get to see the shrink for weeks, how come she gets straight in? Spoiled bitch!” I tried to ignore Jacqueline's harsh words as Barbara escorted me towards to office next to the medical centre. She knocked on the door and once she was acknowledged she unlocked it and we went inside. The office was pretty basic, the psychiatrist himself was a balding middle aged man sat behind the desk while a much younger man in an expensive looking suit stood next to him. “Hello Ms. Pope. I'm Doctor Hargreaves, the head psychiatry here. How are you settling in?” “Not well,” I muttered. “I see, I'm sorry to hear that. Of course, you're always welcome to make an appointment to see me, you're health and well-being as well as your rehabilitation is my primary concern. However you've been summoned here today for a very specific purpose. This is my associate Doctor McGowen.” The man in the suit nodded in acknowledgement, “His company have had the go ahead to trial a new rehabilitation program and they have determined that you fit the psychological profile for the kind of inmate that they're looking for.” “Well that's flattering,” I said, “but I'm really not interested. I just want to put my head down serve my time and be done with it.” “I'm sorry you feel that way,” Doctor Hargreaves replied, “However there's a very good chance that by participating in this trial your sentence could be reduced.” My ears pricked up at this. “No promises of course but if you co-operate it will certainly help your cause.” “Fine, whatever it takes.” I said keen to jump on any opportunity to get me out of this hell hole. “Wonderful!” Doctor McGowen exclaimed, “Now if you'll excuse us doctor I'd like to go through the particulars with Miss Pope.” “Of course.” And with that Dr Hargreaves got up to leave his office, “I'll be in the nurse's station if you need me.” Once we were alone Doctor McGowen produced a large bound document from his briefcase. “If you would be so good as to sign this,” he said, placing the contract in front of me. I started leafing through it, trying to make sense of the technical jargon that filled every page. “Miss Pope,” Doctor McGowen said impatiently, “You really won't gain anything by reading that. You're already incarcerated and right now my program is the only hope you have to speed up your time here.” I sighed, as much as I hated to admit it he was right. My lawyer was working on an appeal but who knows how long that was going to take. If I was going to get out of here I was going to have to take matters into my own hands. I grabbed a pen and signed the contract. “Thank you,” he said, “You've made the right decision. Now lets begin.” What followed was a series of personality testing questions, everything from rating various attributes on a scale of one to ten to asking specific questions about my childhood. It seemed to go on forever but finally he seemed to be reaching an end as he stared talking about my trial. “One thing the judge said really struck a chord with me, he said 'your actions are that of a spoiled child', how does that make you feel?” “Mortified,” I said angrily, “I'm a grown woman, I'm in control of my own life.” “I disagree,” he said, clearly pleased with the emotional action he had elicited, “You see it all the times with people like you, you found fame at an early age and as such your used to getting everything you wanted. You never gained any perspective or maturity.” “That's not true! I worked hard to get where I am!” I spluttered. “It's true and you know it! You didn't achieve anything, everything about you was crafted and managed by a committee. The judge was right, you're nothing more than a spoiled child. You know what happens to child when she misbehaves? She gets spanked!” In one swift move the doctor pulled me out of my seat hand had me bent over the desk. I struggled but he was much larger than me and easily kept control. The first blow connected hard across my bottom causing me to cry out in pain. “Fuck!” I yelped. “Language!” he responded as he smacked me again.” “You...you can't do this to me!” “I can, you signed the contract remember. Am I getting through to you yet?” With that he took hold of my waistband and yanked down my prison issue bottoms exposing my ass clad in the ugly white panties. He was merciless, bringing his hand down again and again. But through the pain I became aware of another sensation, the urge to pee. I felt a twinge, stronger and stronger every time he hit me. “Stop, please!” I begged, “I'll do anything!” But then came the slap that pushed me over the edge. It started as a trickle darkening the front of my panties but soon it began to flow as the hours for which I'd held my pee were finally released. The spanking had stopped and the room went deathly quiet with just the sound if urine tinkling against the tiled floor. I said nothing, I simply held my position, shaking with embarrassment and rage. Behind me Doctor McGowen stood upright and straightened up his suit jacket. He opened to door to the office and shouted out, “I'm going to need some assistance in here.” Within seconds Doctor Hargreaves, Barbara the guard and two members of the nursing staff were in the room. My cheeks burned red as all of them drank in the sight of a once popular singer with her uniform round her ankles having just wet her panties. “Clean up on aisle one,” I heard Barbara mutter. One of the nurses put her arm around me, “It's OK honey,” she said reassuringly. I didn't respond but I did allow her to help me back into a standing position. She got me to step out of my uniform bottoms which had absorbed a good about of my urine. Some had soaked through into the top so I put my arms up as she pulled that off over my head. I felt the cold latex of her gloves on my waist as she set about cutting away my wet panties with safety scissors. After that all my soaked clothing was placed into a trash bag and I suspected it would be sent away to be incinerated. Once again I stood naked before strangers with just a simple bra to protect my modesty. The nurse then set to work cleaning me up with baby wipes, starting at my pussy and then running them over every inch of my lower body. While this had been going on I had seen Doctor McGowen whisper to the other nurse who nodded and quickly left the room. She now returned carrying a bulky blue package, my heart sank when I saw what they were. The packaging clearly displayed the words 'Tena Protective Underwear' and a picture of an adult sized pull-up diaper. The returning nurse slit open the pack while the kindly nurse removed one of them and unrolled it. “No, no,” I said weakly, backing away but the kindly nurse just shook her head. “I'm sorry Miss Pope but you're going to have to wear this,” the nurse said gently, “It's the rules for any prisoner who has.... a little accident like the one you just had.” I relented and let her approach. One by one I stepped into the leg holes and she pulled it up snugly around my hips. “Good girl.” She said in a way that actually sounded sincere. “I think that's enough for today.” said Doctor McGowen, “You'll be escorted back to your cell now and we'll have a new uniform brought to you soon.” Barbara took my arm and led me out the door and across the landing. Walking back to my cell in just a bra and diaper was the final indignity, I was at breaking point. When I got back to my cell I just sat down on my bunk and cried. I'm not even ashamed to admit it. Hot tears rolled down my face as the weight of everything that had happened since the accident was bearing down on me. I thought I was at my lowest when I heard Jacqueline move above me. Great, I thought I'm sure she's here to kick me when I'm down. But what happened next genuinely surprised me. I felt two powerful arms wrap themselves around me as my cell mate pulled me into her bosom. “It's OK,” she said as she gently stroked my hair, “Mamma's got you, just let it all out.” And so I sat there in Jacqueline's arms, I'm not sure how long for. By the time I was all cried out I felt better, still lousy but things somehow didn't seem so bad. For the first time I felt like I could actually cope. “Thank you,” I croaked. “Any time Sugar, if anyone in here gives you grief you come to Mamma Jacqueline.” “But why?” I asked. I felt stupid asking but the question was playing on my mind amongst the whirlwind of other emotions. “I thought you hated me.” “At first I did,” my heart sank again, “I thought you were just going to be some stuck up spoiled princess. But when I saw you walk in here in your diaper I didn't see a singing superstar, I just saw a little girl who was upset and needed a hug. What can I say, you make me feel all maternal and such. Besides,” she added with a wink, “My kids are big fans of you, they'd never forgive me if I didn't help out Jen Pop when I had the chance.” She kissed my head and got up to leave but my hand shot out and grabbed her. “Please don't go,” I said pathetically.” “Sure thing,” she replied and climbed into my bunk next to me. She took me in her arms as I drifted off to sleep.
  15. Thank you both for that, I think I shall adopt the chapter format from heron in. I'll still want to get a bit further before I post anything but I'll still have the freedom to tweak if if need to.
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