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  1. A baby girl, or a sissy boy will do Chapter 5 Jamie took slow, heavy breaths, his senses returning to him as the post-orgasmic high dissipated. Uncertainty faded, and after a long moment of recovery, he took stock and realized how much trouble he’d landed in. He’d been smart to wear his pull-up, sure, but now he’d found himself with a new problem: As he lay there, panting for air, he found a new warmth trickling into his pull-up. He was having another accident, and this one had come without warning. Jamie hadn’t intended to go–it had just happened, and he’d only realized after the fact. That meant he’d slipped further, that his curse had found some other ‘immature’ behavior to feed upon. Suckling his pacifier for comfort, Jamie fought the tears that threatened to well up in his eyes. (Michelle promised you’d be okay–you just need to figure out what went wrong, so you don’t do it again!) It worried him that he’d made another mistake without thinking. He’d been so vigilant, and he’d still failed. His best just wasn’t enough. Was it that he tried to make himself feel good? Did self-pleasure count as an immature behavior, and he should’ve waited and done that with Michelle? His eyes widened and he sat up straighter, surprised at himself–already, he was thinking about Michelle as someone he could be intimate with. They’d only known each other for one date, and he’d spent half that date panicking about wet pants and Little clothes. Yet, when he thought about having grown-up fun time, he couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone but Michelle. Squirming, he tried to think, but the heat in his diaper distracted him as it squelched against his parts. That would need to be taken care of–a grown up wouldn’t just sit around in a soggy pull-up. (Would they?) Pursing his lips, he took out his phone. The keyboard made him feel dizzy–the buttons were so small, and all right next to each other, but he managed to type out his search, hunting one key at a time until he found the letters he needed. Do adults change their diapers right away? The query brought up a few suggested articles, mostly directed at new caregivers for Littles. Is your Little one bigger than you expected? Here’s how to change those big accidents! Diaper Rash on your little’s bum? Five tips for preventing discomfort for your special one. This One Weird Trick Diaper Companies Don’t Want You To Know! Squinting at the words, Jamie found no direct answers, but one thing seemed obvious: Nobody was talking about how to change your diapers, it was all about how to change someone else’s. Put another way: Grown ups didn’t change their own diapers, they got another grown up to help. Proud of himself for making the deduction, he got to his feet. Now he just needed someone to help him, but he wasn’t sure who. His parents lived a few hours away–too far. Were any of his work friends close enough that he’d ask them to wipe his bottom? That seemed like too much of a favor, and besides, he didn’t want anyone to gossip around the curse. If HR found out he was regressing, he could be in hot water at work–better to keep things private. While he pondered who to ask, his phone chimed again. He lifted the screen, smiling behind his pacifier shield as he read ‘Michelle ❤️ ❤️ <3’ next to the text. ‘Did you get home alright?’ Blushing, he tried to peck away at the keyboard to respond, but he was having trouble with letters, and a few words took him almost a minute to type out. Grumbling to himself, he tapped the button to call her instead. “Jamie?” Michelle picked up almost immediately, concern in her tone. “Are you alright?” “Michewwe,” Jamie began, but realized he’d never taken the pacifier out. He spat it into his hand and tried again. “Michelle, I…made it home, but the curse is getting worse.” “Oh no,” Michelle said, with a tone that said, I’m sympathizing with you, rather than, I’m worried. “Tell me what happened.” “I got off the bus, and…” he began, blushing as he tried to explain without going into detail. “Um…when I got back to my apartment…it doesn’t matter, I just need to make sure to behave.” “Jamie.” Michelle’s tone wasn’t upset, but it sounded a degree more firm than it had before. “Did you have another accident?” Her words were so direct, he answered without thinking. “Yes. I…how’d you know?” “I can always tell, sweetie,” she said. “That’s nothing to be ashamed about. You couldn’t help it–but aren’t you glad you were wearing your diaper?” “They’re just pull-ups,” he fussed, pacing across the floor. “Not real diapers.” “Okay,” she said, with a giggle that suggested she didn’t really agree. “Do you have a grown up to help you clean up?” (She’s so smart,) Jamie thought, shaking his head as he held the phone. “No…I don’t know who to ask.” Another stifled giggle, barely audible over the line. “Do you want me to come help you, Jamie?” He flushed. “I…are you sure?” “I promise I don’t mind.” He nodded a few times, remembering a second later that he had to speak to be heard. “Yes, please.” “I’ll be there soon,” she promised. “Just wait for me, okay baby?” “Thank you.” Jamie sighed in relief, glad to have that problem taken care of. “You’re so nice, Michelle.” “Awww,” she said. “You’re the sweetest. Goodbye, Jamie!” “Bye bye, Michelle!” He hung up, satisfied with how that’d gone. Michelle really didn’t seem to be phased by anything–she was sweet, and nice, and smart, and managed to be ready for everything. He wasn’t sure what to do while he waited, so he put his pacifier back in and just stood there, uncertain what to do. It wouldn’t be long before– His phone chirped again, another message from Michelle. ‘I’m outside!’ He blinked–that was fast! Texting her back, he spent twenty seconds finding the letters for ‘Omw’, then waddled out his apartment door, hurrying to let her in. ... This story was brought to you by one of my awesome readers! My ability to create fiction like this is supported entirely by fans like you, without whom I wouldn't have enough time to write because I'd have to be working a second job. If you'd like to join these awesome people, (and get early access, commission discounts, and exclusive stories,) you can do so here: https://reamstories.com/peculiarchangelingabdl https://subscribestar.adult/peculiarchangeling
    4 points
  2. Waking up early in the morning Sam is a little confused how she ended up back in the crib. After being helped out it is time to prepare for another day's activities. --- My writing is my passion and my income. I'm only able to write as much as I do because of the wonderful support from my subscribers. With the ABDL purge on Patreon hurting my income dramatically I have set up a couple of alternatives. If you enjoy my work and want to support me there has never been a time where I need it more. For $5 you can see every update to my stories one week before anyone else and for $10 you get early access PLUS access to 50+ stories EXCLUSIVE to subscribers. There are other rewards and tiers available including discounted commissions. To find out more please consider visiting one of my subscription sites. Prices, rewards and eveything else are the same across both https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy Thank you for reading and supporting me and my work ❤️ --- When Sam’s eyes fluttered open she felt immediate confusion. She was lying on her back and looking up at the ceiling, the tall bars of the crib towered up around her on all sides. She couldn’t remember getting put in the crib at all. Her last memory of the previous night was her sitting underneath the baby bed and leaning against Nina. Sam sat up and rubbed her eyes. She looked out through the bars of the crib and saw Nina asleep in her bed. As she watched the sleeping woman the memories of the previous night came back. She had been under the bed because… the leak came back to Sam like a thunderbolt and she cringed in fresh shame. It hadn’t been all bad though. Nina’s cuddling almost made up for her embarrassment. She relaxed her bladder with an automatic ease and felt fresh urine warming her diaper. She shivered as the liquid ran in tiny rivulets against her sensitive skin. There wasn’t any hesitation anymore. She wasn’t going to wake up Nina so there was no point holding it and making herself uncomfortable. Sam laid back down and took a deep breath as she felt the comforting warmth clinging to her. She smiled and shifted her hips a little and reached down to press the diaper even closer to her body. She never thought she’d be doing this but she couldn’t deny the pleasure coming from the wet underwear. Before she was even thinking about what she was doing she was closing her eyes and digging the heel of her hand into the thickened disposable. “Good morning.” Nina’s voice came through the semi-darkness. Sam froze and her eyes sprung open. She bit her lip and wondered if she had been making more noise than she had thought. Nina was sitting up and rubbing her eyes. Sam had no idea if she had noticed what was happening. “Hi.” Sam said quietly. “I think we both had an early night.” Nina said as she stretched and checked the time, “It’s still early.” “Uh huh.” Sam slowly moved her hand away from the diaper as she sat up again. She let out a deep sigh of relief that it didn’t seem like Nina had noticed what she had started to do. “I don’t imagine the others are up.” Nina continued as she stood up. Sam could see that Nina was wearing just her lingerie. She felt a lump in her throat as Nina passed the crib and went through to the bathroom. The door was left open a little as Sam waited to be let out of her bed. “I don’t remember getting into bed last night.” Sam said loudly enough for Nina to hear her. “You fell asleep on me… again.” Nina chuckled, “I put you in there when it became clear you were out like a light.” Nina flushed the toilet and came back into the bedroom with a yawn. Sam thought the room was still dark enough to hide her blushes, she certainly hoped so. She really needed to stop falling asleep on her best friend… “Out you come.” Nina reached over the top of the bars. Sam lifted her arms and was lifted in the now familiar way. Normally Nina put her down on the ground as soon as possible but this time she unexpectedly moved Sam to her chest. Sam’s eyes went wide as she leaned against her friend, she was right between Nina’s breasts that were hidden only so much by the bra Nina wore. She remained frozen, her face turned to one side with one of her friend’s boobs just inches away from her. A hand suddenly patted Sam’s diaper, the warmth getting pushed up against her. Without a word Nina put Sam down on the end of her bed. She then reached underneath to pull out a diaper and held it out for Sam to take. Sam was on autopilot as she took the fresh disposable and held it against her chest. “I think you’ll need this.” Nina said with an easy smile and a wink. “Thanks…” Sam said quietly. Sam should’ve been outraged. Nina was overstepping lines left, right and centre. To carry her as she had, check her like that and assume she wanted a diaper, these were all things that just a day or so ago would’ve made Sam explode with rage but now she was meekly clutching the diaper as Nina turned around and bent over to pick up a shirt. As Sam got a wonderful view of Nina’s butt she wondered if her friend was doing all this on purpose. After briefly rubbing her diaper in the crib it now seemed like Nina was teasing her. Sam shook her head, she must’ve been imagining it. She didn’t even know if Nina actually liked her like that for sure. “I’ll see you in the other room.” Nina said as she finished putting her skirt on. Sam nodded and waited for Nina to leave and close the door. Sam took a deep breath and looked down at the diaper. As much as she would’ve liked to have been outraged that Nina assumed she needed the protection she knew they were doing an escape room that day, access to the bathroom would be limited. A diaper was probably the right choice. Sam pulled the tapes off her diaper and let it flop open. She could see that all the excitement from that early morning had had an effect on her. Still, she didn’t want to hang around too long in case Nina came looking for her so she folded up her old diaper and opened the new one underneath her. She pulled up the front of the new disposable and felt the comforting feeling of warm and dry padding encompassing her. Once she was taped up Sam slipped off the edge of the bed. The diaper crinkled but she barely even noticed it anymore. She looked at her collection of clothes and paused. Most of her outfits were at least a little childish, she could really only shop in the children’s section after all, and although she tried to get the least ridiculous looking outfits it wasn’t always possible. Having gone through most of the clothes she had bought with her in the preceding days her options were getting limited unless she wore unwashed stuff. There were a couple of plain t-shirts but, for some reason, her eye was drawn to a shirt she never really wore and only brought with her for an emergency. The pink shirt had a large rainbow that started at the bottom of the front and curved around to her back where it went down to the hemline again. It was undeniably childish and yet it was what Sam pulled out of her bag with a smile. Sam pulled the shirt over her head and looked into the mirror. Not for the first time on this vacation she saw a baby girl looking back at her. She blushed as she smiled a little bit. Looking away quickly she wondered what on Earth was going on with her. She would normally be utterly repelled to look this way and yet here she was actually LIKING the look. Sam picked up a knee-length skirt and stepped into it, she pulled it up and over her diaper. She checked the mirror one last time to make sure that the padding was completely hidden which it was though if she bent right over she could see the bottom poking out. She spun around a couple of times and found herself loving the look. After one last check of everything Sam stepped out into the living area. Nina was sitting on the couch as Sam came out of the bedroom, the other two were absent. Nina smiled when she saw Sam. “That’s a good look on you.” Nina said. Sam blushed and looked down at the floor. She mumbled something indistinct before hurrying around to the kitchen to make some cereal. Despite having to climb up chairs to get to the counter Sam managed to get her cereal and brought it back into the living room. Reaching the table was a bit of a stretch so Sam put her bowl on the floor just in front of the couch and facing the television and sat down cross-legged. “Is there anything you want to watch?” Nina asked as Sam started eating. “Not really.” Sam answered, “I’m good with whatever.” Nina was flicking through the channels lazily. It was early in the morning so there wasn’t a lot on. Sam continued eating as the images on the screen continuously changed. The news, some reality show, a morning talk show, cartoons, another talk show… The screen lingered on the talk show a moment longer than the other channels though Sam couldn’t see why since it looked very dull. Then, just as Sam was putting her spoon in her mouth, the television flicked back one channel and on to the cartoons. Sam froze up and her eyes went wide. Nina was still holding the remote but she wasn’t changing the channel again. Sam slowly turned to look at Nina who was looking at Sam with a curious smile. The Sam from before this vacation would ask Nina what the hell she was doing and demand the channel be changed, she would be storming out of the room or asking if Nina was deliberately trying to insult her. “Is this OK?” Nina asked in a quiet voice. Sam wasn’t saying anything. She didn’t know why she wasn’t talking. She was feeling a lot of different emotions and it seemed like her brain didn’t know which ones to verbalise. After a few more seconds Sam simply turned back to the TV. She could feel herself blushing super hard, a heat just behind the skin of her face made Sam feel like she was a beacon of light. For the next fifteen minutes Sam sat on the floor in her diaper and watched the cartoons. Neither she nor Nina said a word whilst Sam ate her breakfast. When she had finished she felt a little awkward, she didn’t know what to do or say. She fiddled with her hands and wondered if she had the strength to look back at her friend despite how embarrassed she felt. “Did you want to sit up here?” Nina asked. Sam almost jumped when Nina broke the silence. She bit her lip and knew that she definitely did want to sit on the couch. She stood up and turned around, she avoided looking at Nina’s face as she started to climb up on to the couch. A hand suddenly pressed on her rear end and Sam’s eyes widened as she looked around at Nina helping her up. Once settled Sam sat with her legs out in front of her on the cushion and her hands in her lap. “It’s OK to watch cartoons.” Nina said quietly, “Sometimes I like watching them at home if I’ve got nothing else to do.” “I know, it’s just…” Sam started. “I get it.” Nina interrupted, “I really do.” Sam didn’t say anything. She slid closer to Nina until she was right next to her, just like the previous night Nina held up her arm and wrapped it around Sam’s shoulders. Sam could barely stop a little squeak coming out as she laid her head on Nina’s side. Together they sat on the couch as the cartoons played. Neither of them said much. Sam could’ve stayed in that position forever but that was never going to be an option. When the door to the other girls’ bedroom opened Sam instinctively hurried across to the other side of the couch and Nina, sensing Sam’s worry, changed the channel before anyone stepped out. Even so, Sam was red in the face as she turned to see Amy walking in. “Good morning.” Amy yawned. “Morning.” Nina replied. She turned to look at Sam and gave her a little wink. “I hope you’ve got your thinking hats on.” Chrissy said loudly as she stepped out of the bedroom. “This early in the morning?” Nina laughed. Sam brought her legs together a little more and flattened her skirt. She suddenly felt a lot more self-conscious over her choice of underwear. Fortunately no one was taking the time to look over and they wouldn’t have seen anything even if they had thanks to the angle she was sitting at. Regardless she kept to herself as the others conversed. She felt like she had a lot on her mind. --- If you want to find out what happens next you can do so RIGHT NOW at either of the following links: https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/lplyymi677/chapter/4aab8b32-4899-489e-b55d-a6412f2e8f38 https://subscribestar.adult/posts/1230356
    3 points
  3. LOVE WITHOUT MEASURE The sorority girls came down the stairs in groups of four, and as the funereal procession to the dining room advanced, each quartet confirmed the shrewdness of Bernice Miller's judgment. The house mom had scribbled a “C” next to the name of each Council member on her roster, and check marks separated those on the list she considered suspect from those she did not. The most likely suspects had received two checks. The seven members of the governing Council fell in the latter category. While the rest of the officers on duty retreated to the street to restore order and get traffic moving again, Priscilla and three others were charged with getting each quartet seated in the dining room. It was as obvious to Ian as it was to Bernice, Julia and Chief Mischof that the first four groups didn't have a clue. The diapers heaped in a pile at the front of the room didn't register on any of their faces, and they were clearly bewildered when Priscilla ordered them to take seats at the back. The fifth quartet was a different matter altogether. The girls eyes went wide when they spotted the bags of Lullaby's finest, and each paused in mid step as she entered the room. Once seated, they began to talk in conspiratorial whispers, occasionally leaning back to answer a question from one of the girls who had preceded them. The fifth group was the first on Bernice's list to receive check marks. Faltering footsteps and wide-eyed, fearful glances at the bags of diapers betrayed one group after another, making it clear to Ian and the others that fully two-thirds of the sorority seemed to be in the know. When everyone was seated except for the five members of the Council still upstairs, Ian took Priscilla aside and asked her to bring Janis Marsden down by herself. He wanted to see how the others responded to her; in particular, he was curious to learn how many of the girls even knew what she had done. He also advised her to cuff Janis and take her into the office once they had finished making their pitch. He hoped that one dramatic gesture would sober the entire sorority up in a hurry. When Melanie Wilson, Joyce Wiggins, Kimberly Doyle and Amanda Cunningham entered the chamber, the jig was well and truly up. At every turn, they were welcomed with daggers drawn, leaving no doubt in Chief Mischof's mind that he had pierced the heart of the conspiracy. Finally, Priscilla escorted a solitary Janis Marsden to a seat in the front row, which she had all to herself. Ian thought it curious that, like the other members of the Council, she was treated with scorn, but was not singled out for special treatment. Janis was hanging her head in shame, and it took every ounce of resolve that Ian could muster not to rush to her side, take her in his arms, and console her. He only steeled himself by thinking about the tricky game that he was about to play with Spats Belmondo, an ace in the hole that he wanted to hide up his sleeve and perhaps play on a later day. . . . . Decisions, decisions, decisions, Sarah sighed. She was sitting on the couch, arms splayed, occasionally glancing in Vickie's direction to make sure that her baby girl still had her nose pressed to the wall. What do you think, folks? Should I pump again, or warm up baby girl's yummy bottles of laxatives and diuretics? Yeah, you're right. We want her diaper to be wet and messy come the morning. We want her to think that she's already lost nighttime control, and needs her diapers for real. And if she should happen to fill her diapers again while driving to work, Rita can take care of it. Sorry, my little poop monster, but we all know that a steady diet of breast milk will leave you with diminished control of both bladder and bowel. And breast milk is now a mainstay of your hitherto alcohol soaked diet … Getting up from the couch, Sarah strolled out to the kitchen to warm up Vickie's bottles. When they were ready and she was comfortably settled on the floor, her back resting against her couch, she ordered the baby girl to crawl over. Still sucking on her pacifier, Vickie readily obeyed, settling into Sarah's lap in anticipation of her feeding. Gently, Sarah lifted the baby girl's head to cradle it in her arm. She removed the pacifier, and offered her the bottle. Vickie accepted it readily, and began to nurse on the warm milk. “Mommy loves you soooo much, baby girl, do you know that?” Sarah was looking down into Vickie's eyes, her feelings warm and real. “You are going to be Mommy's sweet baby girl forever and ever, and Mommy will always love you. Always!” “Wuv Mama,” Vickie somehow managed to mumble around the nipple firmly planted in her mouth. “Wuv Mama,” she repeated. And it was true. Deep inside Victoria Robinson, there was a lonely little girl starved for affection. Her birth mother had been emotionally distant, her feelings genuine only when she was expressing her disappointment in her daughter's behavior. Her father had always taken her mother's side, the prototypical absentee father. She knew that, on more than one occasion, he had forgotten her birthday. An envelope hastily stuffed with cash left bitter memories of the party that he had come home late to attend on her fourteenth. A few weeks later, she had taken her revenge by sacrificing her virginity to a boy whose face she could no longer summon up from the store of her memories. Unbidden, Vickie reached up to clasp her mommy's arm, and the infantile gesture struck a chord deep in Sarah's psyche. She accepts me as her Mommy! Sarah didn't know how or why this was happening, but she could see it in Vickie's eyes: the measure of acceptance. And in that moment, Sarah's world changed. I have a daughter … a baby girl for real! And I love her! My hopelessly confused, totally mixed up, sweet baby girl. I love her! The realization stunned her. In an instant, Vickie had gone from being the friend of whom she was a bit jealous to a responsibility at once in need of discipline and love. For how long have we been deaf to her cries for help? For how long?? God! Is Ian the only person ever to say the three magic words to her … to speak them with conviction and feeling? How could the rest of us have been so blind? Gazing into Vickie's eyes, a baby sucking so contentedly on her ba ba, Sarah impulsively leaned over to kiss her forehead. “I love you, baby girl,” she whispered; “I really, really love you, and we are going to start over. All the years that I've known you, and I don't even know your mother's name. Not once have you ever mentioned her … even referred to her. Was she ever there for you? Ever?” In response, Vickie's grip on Sarah's arm tightened. “Wuv Mama.” It was all that Vickie could get out, but her grip on Sarah's arm never faltered. Is it possible to repair damage that runs this deep? There is only one way to find out! . . . . Standing at the front of the room, arms folded, Bernice Miller was genuinely angry, and she was letting it show. “In the morning,” she began, “Chief Mischof and I expect to be summoned to the Dean's office. After he reads the Chief's report, it would not surprise me if the Dean reaches out to national and gets our charter revoked. It's happened before, and for reasons far less serious.” Bernice walked over and lightly kicked one of the bags of diapers. “Twenty-three separate acts,” she continued, “not including Janis' stealing from the hospital. Twentythree. And guess what … you get to meet the last victim because Professor Grady is sitting right here. Do you know his story? If not, let me share some of it with you: three tours in Viet Nam … four purple hearts … barely alive when evacuated from his last battlefield. Then came nine months of surgeries and rehabilitation before he left the hospital-- wearing a diaper and leaning on a cane. And his is just one story; there are twenty-two others. It's screamingly obvious that the Council put a lot of time into this, and that more than half the people in this room knew what they were planning. Did any of you ever think about the people your actions would be hurting? Anyone?” “No, I didn't think so,” Bernice concluded. No one was willing to look her in the eye. As Bernice sat down, Chief Mischof stood up to take her place. “Let me bring you up to date. Tippi Bjornsen and Cindy Carlson have been taken into custody, transported to jail, and in the morning will go before a judge. Processing them will take time, because the poor clerk who has to type up the charge sheet has his work cut out for him. Miss Marsden here is also under arrest, for a separate but related crime, and in due course will be joining them. I expect others in this room to be taking the trip as well.” The Chief walked over to the untidy cache of diapers, and shook his head. “You may wonder why we are taking this so seriously, even to the point of reading each of you your Miranda rights, and being prepared to seek warrants to search the rooms of anyone here who does not cooperate. Well, let's start with the fact that the houses make up less than five percent of the student body population, but are responsible for more than seventy percent of the complaints that we have to investigate. The judge is going to hand out some hefty fines because someone has to pay for the twenty-three officers dispatched to investigate the thefts and write up reports on each one of them. Someone has to pay for the processing, housing, transport to the courtroom-- and did I mention the District Attorney's office? Well, guess what; Mister Ballstrom was here earlier, and is going to present this case to the court personally. He takes it very seriously.” The Chief began pacing back and forth in front of the assembly. “Want to plead not guilty, and take your case to trial? See why that fine is just going to get bigger and bigger? And the press will have a field day … they just love the term 'criminal conspiracy'. Right now, we can keep your names out of the press, but once this case is scheduled for trial? Nope. You will be splattered all over the newspapers, the TV and the airwaves. Whether you are found guilty or not, the notoriety will follow you for years to come. God forbid what it will do to your parents.” “In the ordinary course of things,” the Chief continued, “this would be a slam dunk. Plead guilty. Pay the fine. Do community service. Mind your P's and Q's while you're on probation. Your names remain hidden, and in the end your records are expunged. But the DA is going to handle the matter personally because, this time, the same old, same old will probably get you killed. Detective Canon will explain.” Julia took over. “I'm the lady you ran all over town.” She noted with satisfaction that the shock waves that the Chief's closing remark had triggered were still rippling across the room. “And sometime tomorrow, I expect to have an ugly meeting with the client who hired me to investigate this matter-- the gentleman who owns Lullaby Diaper Service. His name is Vincent Belmondo, although he is better known as Spats Belmondo. Congratulations, ladies; you targeted Minneapolis' Mafia kingpin, and he hired me to find you. He does not want the police mixed up in this because you have humiliated him, and he wants revenge. He cannot afford to turn the other cheek because it would be seen as weakness, and rivals would seek to exploit it. No. He wants you, and what he's planning to do with you is feed you, feet first, into a wood chipper. You will, of course, be alive when he turns on the switch. I should imagine that it's a most unpleasant way to die.” “Oh, God,” one of the girls moaned. “You stupid cunts,” someone else yelled at the members of the Council. They were trying to make themselves invisible, and failing miserably. “So the problem,” Julia calmly continued, “is to find a solution that will make Spats happy, and that the DA can sell to the judge. We think that Professor Grady has come up with the answer, inspired no doubt by his many years of practical experience wearing and using diapers. I'll let him explain.” Julia nodded at Ian, and sat down. “The DA and I have cut a deal. A stiff fine, probation, and community service as candy stripers until you graduate. I can place some of you in the hospital over yonder.” Ian nodded in the general direction of the river and the complex just beyond. “But there are two other medical facilities within walking distance of this house, so placement won't be an issue.” Ian looked around the room, seeking and making eye contact. “This will satisfy the judge,” he went on, “but not Spats Belmondo. What may satisfy him is if you become his clients-- clients of Lullaby Diaper Service. So, it comes down to this: everyone in this sorority will have to agree to wear and use diapers 24/7 until you graduate. Spats can turn a nice profit, revel in your humiliation, and you walk away with your reputations reasonably intact. Your social life will be ruined, but on the plus side, your grades should go up. As deals go, it sure beats the wood chipper.” “No!,” a girl at the very back of the room protested. “I had nothing to do with this, and I'm not about to spend the next year and a half shitting myself to appease a mobster. Go screw yourself!” “Fine,” Ian mildly rejoined. “Who would you like to start with? Come on, you choose the first victim. Melanie Wilson, perhaps? She's in this up to her eyeballs, so she'd be a good choice. But perhaps there's someone else on the Council that you'd like Spats to run through the wood chipper, to become a tasty snack for the pigs that he keeps on a farm down in Iowa. You decide.” Ian had strolled up to the second row of seats, and he reached out to clamp a hand firmly on Melanie's shoulder. She looked like she was ready to puke, and he wanted to spare her the indignity. “You de … de … cide,” he stuttered, the room suddenly spinning around him. The rats feasted, initially on the exposed flesh. But when there was no resistance, they were emboldened. Some got inside the clothing and burrowed into the intestines, eating their fill. Others went after the eyes, a tasty morsel. The photos had come later, when the tropical heat and humidity had taken over where the rats had left off. Identifying Nguyen had been a challenge, Anh and his parents-inlaw more difficult still. The entire village … “IAN!” Somebody was screaming his name … “But that's not right. I'm Street Racer ...” “SMELLING SALTS,” Priscilla yelled; “SMELLING SALTS!!” Bernice dashed into her office to grab the first aid kit. Standing close by and paying close attention, Priscilla had heard Ian's voice trail off, got to him as he dropped to his knees, passing out as she caught him, his weight carrying both of them to the floor. It had taken hours to reach Minh … or so it felt. Rationally, Street Racer knew that it couldn't have been more than a minute. “Can't walk,” Minh had grunted, “legs are gone.” “It's a nice day.” Street Racer grimaced, the transition to Vietnamese seamless but the pain getting worse by the second. “A good day to die. Can you light 'em up?” He had somehow hoisted Minh onto his shoulders, his brother-in-law still gripping his weapon. He was vaguely aware that Quy had risen from the rice paddy, closed the distance to protect his right flank. Slowly, staggering under the weight, Street Racer headed in the direction of the LZ, the choppers now landing in a steady stream, evacuating the POW's that they had liberated from the hellhole southwest of Hanoi. The raid had been a brilliant success, until the rains had come early, forcing them to head west, into the mountains that separated them from the Laotian frontier. Everything had conspired to slow them down, to miss the rendezvous at the secondary … A stray round slammed into his chest, the right side of his rib cage on fire. He was looking to his right, toward the tree line when Quy's chest exploded in a cascade of torn flesh and blood, knocking him off his feet. Street reached out to get a grip on his fatigues, his mind willing him to drag his brother-in-law to safety even as his body began to give out ... “We need to elevate his legs.” Janis was struggling to remain calm, fighting to draw upon the knowledge that she had won in the long hours of her rounds in the hospital. She had found a couple of throw pillows to put under his ankles, but needed more. Chief Mischof removed his jacket, hastily bundled it, and pushed it under Ian's left knee. Watching her daughter the whole time, Julia did the same, sliding her coat under his right knee. Bernice unceremoniously dropped to the floor, cracked the ampule, and waved it under Ian's nose. Ian was prone on the floor, his head cradled in Priscilla's arms. “Ian, do you hear me? Do you?” She was sobbing, willing him to wake up. “I love you. Do you hear me, Secret Agent Man, do you? I love you, and you are not going to die on me! Not now, not ever!” “Here!” Kimberly had had the presence of mind to race to the living room, grab two cushions off the couch, and rush them back. Janis used them to elevate his ankles still higher. “Wha … what happened?” Ian was returning to consciousness, shaking his head to clear the cobwebs. He remembered being in Viet Nam, but not how he had got there. It was all a blur. “Another seizure,” Priscilla cried. “It happened, just like Vickie said it would happen.” “The pig sty,” he groaned. “The rats,” she guessed. Someone brought a wet wash cloth, and she used it to mop his brow. His skin had been pale and lifeless only moments before, and now sweat was pouring off of him. Priscilla feared that the rats would haunt her dreams for the rest of her life. “I love you.” “I know,” she said with a manufactured smile. “Your third lady of the week, and fourth of the month. But that's okay. I'm lucky to have you, and I'm willing to share. But there will be no more running off to save the world, do you hear me? The President can send somebody else to Poland, or Iran, or wherever it is that you're supposed to go next week. I'm not having it!” Julia started to speak, then shut her mouth with an audible snap. Now was not the time. “Do you think that you can stand,” Bernice asked as she slowly climbed to her feet. “Lying on the floor in the middle of the dining room is a bit undignified.” “I'm getting too old for this,” the Chief huffed as he also stood up. “And we still haven't resolved this mess.” “No,” Ian agreed as he managed to get onto his knees, and then with the Chief's help onto his feet. “We haven't.” Staggering, Ian reached out to grab the back of a chair, knowing that there was still work to be done. And perversely, he badly needed a diaper change. Later. Looking around, Ian could see that the room was in turmoil. Some of the girls were still seated, while others were up and milling around, talking to their friends and trying to get a handle on the situation. As he watched, two of the girls tried to leave, but the officers blocking the doorways politely but firmly instructed them to return to their seats. They are all so young … The floodgates opened, and memories began pouring into his conscious mind-- memories of childhood and innocence, and innocence lost. Lives lost. Willie Ross swam up once more from the depths, the nineteen year old kid with the perpetual smile, raised by loving parents to treat everyone around him with kindness. A baby abandoned on the outskirts of a village, lying there helpless, unable to escape the pitiless sun? Of course Willie picked the child up-- it was in his nature. And the anti personnel mine concealed beneath the infant had detonated, shredding them both. Holding onto the chair for dear life, eyes tightly shut in a hopeless attempt to ward off the pain, Ian shuddered. From a great distance, he felt a hand reach out to clasp his own. They need to hear the truth. You cannot let them make the wrong choice. Open your heart to them … teach them to love without measure … Nguyen? Rapidly blinking, Ian opened his eyes, unaware of the tears that were trickling down his cheeks. “You can do this,” Priscilla whispered, gripping his hand still more tightly to reassure him. “You are the bravest person I have ever met, and you can do this. Open your heart, and they will look inside theirs. Go on.” “Listen up, everybody!” Priscilla clapped her hands to get the room's attention. “Ian … Professor Grady has something to say that you need to hear. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. When he confided in me this afternoon, parts of it were so bad that I came close to putting my head in the trash can and puking my guts up. Some of it is going to give me nightmares, so I've asked him to edit it. But you need to hear it.” The girls looked at one another in confusion, no one quite knowing what to do. “Park it,” Bernice roared. Everyone scrambled to find a seat. “Thank you.” Ian said, stalling for time while he collected his thoughts. “What you just saw was a flashback, my third of the week. My doctor says that, just as a fuse blows to protect an overloaded circuit, my brain hurls me back to Viet Nam … back to the worst moments of my life … to prevent me from making decisions. And it does so with good reason.” Looking around the room, it was clear that some of the girls were paying attention, but others were just going through the motions for the sake of politeness. Ian abruptly decided to try a different tack. “I'm curious. How many of you are twenty-one?” Hands went up throughout the room, but instead of counting, Ian looked over to Bernice. “Fourteen,” she said, “including the two who are still absent.” “I was twenty-one when I landed in Viet Nam, and took command of a platoon. I was in way over my head, but I was fortunate to have a highly experienced sergeant to lean on. But I still made mistakes, and one of them killed a goodhearted kid from Alabama. He was nineteen years old, which I guess would make him a sophomore today … maybe a member of one of the fraternities. But he came home in a body bag, and yet he still talks to me in my dreams. That's guilt, and I have a mountain of it eating away at me. My therapist says that, to get better, I have to bring it out into the open, embrace it, and somehow find the grace to forgive myself, but that's easier said than done.” Ian had their attention now. Even the cops in the doorways were listening hard. “In February of sixty eight, I was wounded badly enough to end my army career, but not my military service. My ability to speak Vietnamese, and several other languages, kept me in country, but fighting in the shadows. I was now outside the chain of command, reporting to a civilian at the Pentagon, the Special Assistant for Counterinsurgency and Special Activities. The unit I pieced together became the tip of the special operations spear, carrying out one high risk mission after another in the North and South, in Laos and Cambodia. We had little interaction with the regular military, and in our isolation truly became a band of brothers … a family in the truest sense of the word … and I failed them.” Ian barely registered the sharp intakes of breath that swept across the room. “We had sworn an oath … our Commandment, really: everyone comes home. Whole, wounded, in a body bag, we leave no one behind. And in the last battle, I left two men in the field, two Vietnamese sergeants … my brothers-in-law, Minh and Quy ...” “WHAT,” Julia yelped, her cry echoed by others, a shock wave rolling back and forth in the confined space. “It's a compact,” he whispered, the pain visible now, framing each word, every syllable. “and I … I … I was wounded, but they … I was carrying Minh over my shoulders, and dragging Quy … already dead, maybe … I'm not sure. And then another round came in, fragmented in my spine, knocked me down. I lost my grip just as a chopper swooped in … the last chopper … someone dragged me aboard … I remember him screaming something like 'they're dead, let's go' … and we left them behind. My family.” “No! That's not fair!” Janis had not spoken with her mother, but Marilyn had left a message with the office to let her know that she was now representing Ian and would be shielding him. The note was still sitting on the desk in her room, asking her to thank all of the sisters that had stood duty outside his office, keeping the headhunters at bay. Her mother could not protect him from a nightmare. “You can't do this,” she protested, climbing to her feet, “because it's wrong. You were hurt so bad that you spent months in hospitals. There was nothing you could do! Nothing!!” “I'm sorry, Janis, but there's more.” Ian didn't know why, but it was somehow easier to confess his sins to one person than to a sea of disembodied faces. “We needed a base of operations, and because it was ideally located and we were welcome, I gravitated to Minh and Quy's village.” Ian took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled. “I was twenty-two when I met Nguyen, and fell in love with this beautiful, kind and caring woman who loved me in return. And our marriage was blessed. I have a daughter, Janis; her name is Linh, which is pronounced 'Ling' in Viet Nam, but 'Lynn' in America. We were, you see, thinking ahead.” A wistful smile creased Ian's features. They had batted names around in the dark, his head resting on her belly, the baby kicking out in protest. She had run her fingers through his hair, always so unruly. Julia gaped, as stunned as everyone else in the room. She stared at her daughter, watching the play of emotions washing across her features. Her gaze never wandered, and what Julia saw was pride and pain infusing love so intense that it radiated off of her in waves. In that moment, she realized that she had lost her little girl. And she knew how this story would end. There could be only one reason for this man to tell this story to this audience, to revisit all this pain. Scanning the room, seeing in their faces that none of the girls sensed how it would go … she pitied them for the choice that he would set before them. And she understood why her daughter had fallen in love. Julia had been wrong. Ian had not pulled the wool over her daughter's eyes. He had told her the truth. And Priscilla had embraced it, granted him the absolution of the confessional. Bernice Miller also knew what was coming. She had been widowed at twenty-seven, the telegram coming out of the darkness, her husband fallen at Pork Chop Hill. Eighteen months later, she had moved into the house, sharing it with young women less than a decade her junior. She had never remarried, and still wore her wedding ring. Bernice did not know what choice her charges would make, but they would choose, and their choices would have lasting consequences. This was the night, she sadly thought, when they would suffer childhood's end. Walt Mischof turned his head just enough to steal a glance at Bernice. They had known each other for so long, and had made the short trip together more than once-- to lay flowers on the graves of Bernice's husband and Walt's brother, both laid to rest in the VA cemetery out by the airport. The Chief knew that Bernice was childless, and that for all her bluster, she dearly loved the girls in her care-- an entire generation, and more, that she had taken from … How does the song go? “From crayons to perfume” … He knew that she was hurting, sadness and regret marring her features. Although the ground was snow covered, he resolved to ask her to join him in another visit once term came to an end, when almost every student went home for the holidays. Although it won't be much of a holiday for these girls … “I always left a skeleton force behind to secure the village in our absence,” Ian continued, “but not once did I leave Minh and Quy behind … and that was my mistake. When I was wounded … while I was in the hospital … the unit was disbanded, and my men moved on. There was no one left to defend the village … and at some point it was attacked. I knew nothing until I went home … to the village … and found it deserted. Even then, it took time to piece together what had happened ...” Ian dipped his head and so did not see the looks of horror as the truth began to dawn around the room. “I saw photos,” he went on, still oblivious. “My wife … my sister in law … her parents … everyone was dead, their bodies left where they had fallen. Everyone except the babies and small children. We … we think that someone who knew about my gift for languages also knew that I had a child, who would be incredibly valuable if she inherited my gift. But whoever did this did not know which child, so they played it safe by taking them all and leaving no one alive to tell the tale. And it was only by accident that we were able to piece together what had happened.” Ian looked over at Julia, knowing full well that she had unmasked him. “This was eight years ago, and on that day the search for my daughter began. I made a deal … some would say with the Devil. I travel the globe putting my talents to work for the CIA, and in return they have made finding Linh a priority mission. Others are searching as well, including ...” Looking up, Ian grinned sheepishly. “Including Mafia overlords, with whom I have a somewhat complex relationship. And that brings me to Spats Belmondo.” Reading the room, Chief Mischof chuckled to himself. The hammer was about to fall, and every head was upturned, awaiting the blow. “I don't know the man, but I do know the mindset. Julia is right. You've humiliated a Mafia don, and he can't ignore the hit. If he doesn't respond, his enemies will sense weakness and seek to exploit it, and the danger of betrayal within his own ranks is greater still. We have to make him the proverbial offer that he can't refuse; otherwise he will come for you, and there will be no easy deaths. An oldie but goodie would be to turn you into addicts, and then put you to work in the streets. Life expectancy? Less than three years.” The Chief estimated that more than half the people in the room were terror stricken-- and his officers covering the doorways didn't look so good either. But it wasn't every day that a CIA agent with the Professor's vast experience showed up so bluntly to talk about the facts of life. “I don't envy you your choices,” Ian concluded, “but I pray that you will prove wiser than me. There's the family you're born into, and the family you choose. Look around you, and ask yourself who you see. Are these mere acquaintances who share your life for a few years, and then depart, never to be seen again? Or are these what sorority girls have long styled themselves … sisters? Is this the family you have chosen?” Ian once more rested his hand on Melanie's shoulder. “I chose a family, and my mistakes cost them their lives. I'll carry that burden with me to the grave. If Tippi and Cindy, Janis and Melanie … others here … are your family, don't abandon them. If you do, the knowledge of what you have done will haunt you forever.” Ian turned to Priscilla, and mouthed one word. Nodding, she walked over to Janis and got her to her feet. Ian was gambling that cuffing her would bring home the reality of the situation in a way that mere words couldn't. Priscilla led her out of the room; she would get one of the officers on duty outside to put her in the back of a patrol car, collect Ian's diaper bag, and then return to change him. The battle for the sorority's collective soul would either be won or lost before she reentered the dining room. . . . . “Mommy, I poopy,” Vickie whined. “Let Mommy check,” Sarah replied as she kicked off the covers to roll over and sniff Vickie's butt. They had gone to bed only minutes before, entwined in each others arms. Vickie's head was cradled against Sarah's chest, and she was praying that her baby girl would begin to nurse. Sarah would cheerfully exchange the breast pump for Vickie's hungry mouth any day of the week and twice on Sunday. “Yep, you're poopy, all right. But don't worry; Mommy will clean you up and get you into a nice, dry diaper. Then we'll go to sleep, and Mommy will change you again in the morning.” Sarah reached over to the nightstand, grabbed Vickie's pacifier, and held it out to her. Vickie opened her mouth, accepted the offering, and began eagerly sucking on her binkie. Sarah had given up on the idea of sending Vickie to work in a dirty, stinky diaper. In so many ways, Vickie really was a big baby desperately in need of a mother's love, and Sarah was determined to see that she received it. In the morning, she would let Rita know that there had been a slight change in the plans for their new household, and a massive change in strategies. The antidote to Vickie's rebelliousness was to be found in diapers and baby pants, bottles and binkies, and above all in the love that a mommy and auntie could lavish upon their baby girl. A return to infancy would give the lonely little girl inside Victoria Robinson a chance to heel.
    2 points
  4. Matilda ground her teeth together. She was trying to be nice, but as she looked up from her own schoolwork for the fifth time to catch Hortensia doodling in her notebook instead of reading her assignment, she was losing her patience. Fast. “Mom isn’t going to let us stay home if you don’t do any of your work.” Matilda said. She liked going to school. She did. But this…was so much better. Hortensia let out a deep sigh and dropped her pencil before letting out an exaggerated moan. “How can you just sit there and do school work all day? It’s so boring!” Hortensia complained. She looked at the clock. Had it really already been three hours? “I guess we could take a break.” Matilda said. Hortensia threw down her pen and let out a cheer before launching herself up from the kitchen table. “My arse is killing me.” Matilda’s face fell. “God, not like that. Quit it. I hate when people look at me like that.” Hortensia groaned. “Like what?” “Like I’m going to break. No one talks to me normally anymore. I’m starting to actually want to go back to school and get treated like shite.” “Why?” Matilda asked with a sour face. “I spent all that time wishing to go to school only to realize I had it better just doing my own thing.” “I just want things to go back to the way they were.” Matilda realized it wasn’t school she missed, but her old life. But going back to school wasn’t going to get her mom out of prison, or change what had been done to her. “I told you to stop looking at me like that.” She growled. Matilda averted her eyes. “I can make a better lunch than the school can.” Hortensia perked up at the mention of food. It was only 10: 30, so brunch then. Even better, because school didn’t serve brunch. “I can make a quiche.” “What the bloody hell is a quiche?” “You mix a couple ingredients, like eggs and stuff and then you ba-” Matilda’s face fell. She wasn’t supposed to use the oven unsupervised. “Never mind.” she said glumly. “Sandwiches it is.” “Sandwiches? What happened to ‘I can make a better lunch than the school?’” “I’m not supposed to use the oven by myself.” Matilda said with a scowl. “You’re not by yourself.” Hortensia said with a shrug. Matilda shifted in indecision. “Quiche.” Hortensia cheered, fist high in the air. “You don’t even know what a quiche is.” “But now I want it.” Matilda groaned. She had opened up a can of worms she couldn’t get herself out of. Maybe Hortensia had a point. She went to get a bowl, but stopped. It felt too wrong. Matilda bit her lip. She didn’t like being bad unless she had to. “What? What is it?” “I don’t want to get in trouble.” Matilda mumbled. She had been fighting with Jenny on and off most of the summer, but things were finally good. She liked not being in the spotlight. No one was bothering her here. No one was interrupting her to ask what she was reading or marvel at her. Hortensia rolled her eyes. “You’re. Not. Alone.” Hortensia repeated. Matilda sighed. She’d feel better if she called and asked just in case. “Seriously?” Hortensia asked as she reached for the phone. “Where’s the fun in that?” “Fun?” Matilda scrunched up her face in confusion. “Getting in trouble isn’t fun for me.” “Not the getting in trouble part; it’s about the thrill of getting in trouble if you get caught.” “That just gives me heart palpitations.” She shook her head as Hortensia began to ask what that was as she dialed the number for the school. She had never needed the phone book. She only needed to see the number once in order to memorize it. “I’m entering it into our database now.” Jenny would say as she held up a piece of paper with a name and phone number for Matilda to see. A voice answered on the third ring, not her mom, but someone from the office. Naomi Stevens, 43, worked in the school office for thirteen years, and had the loudest speaking voice Matilda had ever heard. “Hello, Mrs. Steven’s, could I please speak to my mom?” She forced a smile out of habit which earned her an odd look. “Oh, Matilda! Hi, sweetheart! I heard you’re not feeling well! I hope someone’s there taking good care of you.” Watching out for her? She stared at the girl whose finger was currently knuckle deep into her left nostril. “Something like that.” Matilda said. “And I’m feeling fine, but thank you for your concern.” “Oh, always so polite.” Naomi squealed so loudly Hortensia could hear. She rolled her eyes. Hortensia didn’t like anyone from the office. She said they treated her poorly, but that was probably only because she was rude to them first. “Oh, is your mom’s boyfriend there?” Matilda scowled. “Uh, no, Hortensia. And I’m watching her.” “Hey!” Hortensia complained. Matilda grinned at her. “Hortensia? You don’t mean… Hortensia Smith?” Naomi said, sounding on guard. Matilda held a fist to her lips to keep from laughing. “No, I mean Hortensia Biedrzycki.” No one ever attempted to say her legal last name. “Yes, her.” Naomi said before tutting. “What’s she doing at your house?” “Umm, she lives here.” “She lives there?” “Yeah, she’s kind of my foster sister now, or something. Mom’s her guardian.” “Oh, is she now?” Matilda winced. She didn’t realize the office didn’t already know. She could hear the piqued interest in her voice. Matilda could picture Naomi waving the other women over and pointing at the phone in her hand as they eagerly hung on her every word. Only Naomi burst out laughing. Matilda stared at the phone in confusion before putting it back to her ear. “You're so well behaved you’ve lured your mum into thinking raising kids is easy, and now she thinks she can handle Mnt. Everest.” Matilda snickered. “So that’s why you haven’t been here? Is she sick?” “It’s complicated.” Matilda said. She didn’t fully understand what was going on, and Jenny had forbidden her from asking Hortensia any questions even though she was dying to probe. After a few more moments of polite back and forth, Naomi finally transferred her call. “Matilda, is everything okay?” Her mom sounded worried. “Mom! I’m really sorry bu-” “What? What is it? Is Hortensia okay?” “What?” She looked at Hortensia who stared back at her looking puzzled. “She’s fine, but I think I accidentally told Naomi she’s living with us before you did.” “Oh.” Her mom let out a relieved breath and a shaky laugh. “That’s okay, it’s not like it’s a big secret. What’s up?” “Well, since Hortensia’s here, and I’m not alone, I wanted to know if I could cook something?” There was a pause. “What were you going to make?” “A quiche.” Another pause followed by a drawn out sigh. Matilda grimaced. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked. “That sounds so much better than my leftovers.” “I could bring you some.” Matilda offered. A little bribery wouldn’t hurt. “No, you don’t have to do that.” A pause. “Would you?Do you think she’s okay to leave the house? Put her on the phone.” Matilda handed her the phone and gave her a thumbs up before getting to work. “I’m fine.” Hortensia said. Matilda peeked over her shoulder occasionally as she mixed the ingredients. She had gone quiet for a minute, only breaking up the silence with the occasional “okay” or “fine.” Eventually, she handed the phone back. “Make sure you hold her hand when crossing the street.” Jenny said. Matilda rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay.” “I mean it. It’s for both your girls' safety. If she spaces out, you’ll need to guide her by the hand.” Matilda’s eyes briefly flicked over to her. She had seen Hortensia do that a couple of times since she had moved back in. She’d stop whatever it was she was doing and go rigid. It was…odd. She had never seen her do that before. She wouldn’t respond to anyone. Jenny usually took her upstairs for a bit until she snapped out of it. “What do I do if that happens?” “Call me.” “How do you usually snap her out of it? Does she come to on her own or…?” “Just…” Jenny said. “Call me if anything happens and I’ll try and come home.” “Okay.” Matilda said with a shrug. “And don’t forget to take a nap this afternoon.” Matilda clenched her jaw in annoyance. “But make sure the oven’s off before you do. Triple check please.” “Hortensia’s more likely to blow up the house.” Matilda grumbled. “We should give her cooking lessons.” Jenny said. “Oh, and maybe she could teach you how to draw.” “Oh no, I need both hands to make this quiche, I’m going to have to let you go.” Matilda said. “Ha. Ha. Okay, be safe. Call me if anything happens. I love you both.” “Love you too, bye.” Matilda hung up and shook her head. “She wants to teach you how to cook. You’ll blow the house up.” “I will not.” “Or poison us.” “I will not.” “Tsp and Tbsp aren’t the same thing!” “I know that much!” “They’ll find our corpses when they don’t hear from Jenny, half eaten cookies in all of our hands.” Hortensia pursed her lips together, but couldn’t keep back a chuckle at the image. “Is there even an ingredient I can mess up on that would cause that?” “Hmm, not unless you added something you weren’t supposed to, like arsenic, or cyanide, but that would be premeditated murder, not an accident.” “I meant like, if I misread and added too much of something? Could that kill us all?” “I think you’d have to purposely be trying to kill us. At worst, you’d make us all sick, with salmonella or something. There was a guy who got cockroach poison and saltpeter confused and killed a whole floor of patients in a mental hospital once during World War 2.” Hortensia made a face. “Then there’s Jim Jones, of course.” “Uhh, yes, of course….who’s that?” “You know, the cult leader from the 80’s who convinced over 800 people to drink poisoned Kool-Aid.” “Why do you know this?” Hortensia asked. “I read.” Hortensia narrowed her eyes. “And not from one of those boring documentaries on the History channel I keep catching you watching?” Matilda opened her mouth to retort, but shut it again. “Ha! See, you do like the telly.” “One channel,” Matilda mumbled. “Of course, you’d have to like the most boring channel on the network.” “History isn’t boring. You want boring; I’ll give you boring.” She hopped off the step stool and ran for the remote. Zinnia’s favorite. The Home Shopping Network. It would be on for hours! How anyone could sit and watch an hour straight about a purse… When she turned on the telly, it was a news report, the same one from this morning. She had been so busy with school work she hadn’t been paying attention, but now she stood and watched with rapt attention. No matter how many times Matilda had pestered Jenny, she had refused to tell her what exactly had happened. Something about a camp? She knew the gist of it, but as she listened to the news broadcast, the missing pieces fell into place. “I thought you were making food?” Hortensia asked, sticking her head out from the kitchen. “Is that what happened to you?” Matilda couldn’t stop herself from asking. Hortensia averted her eyes and shrugged. “I don’t know.” she mumbled. “How do you not know?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” Hortensia said. “Food!” “Let me finish wa-” Matilda stopped. The telly flicked itself off. “Food.” Hortensia repeated. Matilda looked for the remote, but it was still beside her. Had she sat on it? Or had the telly burnt out? She shrugged it off and stood before making her way over to the Scrabble board on the coffee table to play a quick word. The only person who could beat her was herself. The air was tense between them when Matilda got back to work on cooking. Every attempt at conversations was met with one word answers. Hortensia seemed to be lost in thought, but at least she hadn’t gone catatonic. “Are you okay?” Matilda asked as they sat across from each other at the table each with a piece of quiche. She had done it now. She had brought up the topic she had been forbidden from asking and now Matilda was desperate to make amends. “I’m fine.” Hortensia growled at her. “Quit it.” Her brain searched for something. Anything. “What do you think of Brian?” she blurted out. Hortensia shrugged. Matilda noticed she wasn’t eating. “And you’re okay with walking to the school?” Hortensia shrugged again. “Rescue me from them!” “From who?” “The office ladies!” At this, Hortensia’s eyes finally seemed to focus on her. “Pft, I don’t see them being bitchy to you.” “It’s worse than that!” “I don’t believe you.” ….. “Oh, Matilda! How sweet! You’re such a good girl coming over and bringing your mommy lunch!” Naomi squealed. Matilda’s eyes drifted to Hortensia and gave her a look that said, ‘see?’. “Uh, yeah, I’m going to go see my mom now. Have a nice day, Mrs. Stephens” Matilda said. “She’s so cute!” They both could hear as they headed towards the back of the office. “Where do you think you're going without permission?” Another voice boomed. The girls stopped in their tracks at a new voice behind them. Mrs. Henderson, the third year teacher. “To Miss Honey’s office.” Matilda said. The woman waved her away. “No, I know you are sweetheart, I mean you.” She gestured at Hortensia, “Why aren’t you in class? Let me see your hall pass!” the woman demanded. “I don’t have one. I haven’t-” “Detention!” Mrs. Henderson roared. “But I’m not-” “Do you want to make it two?” “I haven’t even-” “Another word out of your mouth and it will be three!” Hortensia’s shoulders slumped forward in defeat. Mrs. Henderson let out a “hmph” before pushing past. Matilda burst into giggles. “You’ve been here for less than a minute and you already have detention.” Hortensia grumbled something unintelligible under her breath. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell Jenny what happened.” Hortensia looked like she had eaten something sour. They could hear whispering all around them. “She looks terrible.” Matilda craned her neck around. Mrs. Stephens and Mrs. Alto were huddled together staring at the two of them. “What do you think she’s sick with? Do you think she’s contagious? Did she say what was wrong with her?” “I was hoping she got expelled.” “Sush, I think she can hear you.” “You’re one to talk, loud mouth.” Matilda stopped walking and stared at them. They weren’t even trying to keep their voices down. She felt something heavy crash into the back of her. Hortensia hadn’t noticed she had stopped walking and collided with her, sending her crashing to the ground. Her eyes began to water from the shock of it. That was when the shouting started. “MISS HONEY’S OFFICE! NOW!” It was Mrs. Phelps this time, Hortensia’s teacher. She’d at least have noticed Hortensia’s absence, but the old woman had grabbed Hortensia by the back of her shirt and began pushing her forward like a prisoner. Matilda pushed herself up and staggered after them. What could she possibly be in trouble for now? At least Hortensia had been the one carrying the quiche, although Matilda could have done without getting smacked in the back of the head by the tray. When they turned the corner, she could see her mom coming out of her office. “Jennifer!” Mrs. Phelps said, a stern angry note in her voice that made Matilda cower despite not even being the one in trouble. “I just saw this one push your kid to the ground. You going to do something about her now?” Miss Honey’s eyes shifted from Hortensia to Matilda. “It was an acc-” Matilda tried to say, but the accusation had set Hortensia off. “I did not shove her, you blind old bat!” Matilda inwardly sighed. She always made things worse for herself. “Tens, stop.” Miss Honey said. She raised and lowered her palms in a settle down gesture, but this only seemed to infuriate her more. “What are you telling me to stop for? She’s accusing me of things I didn’t do! Again!” Hortensia had often said the school had it out for her, usually resulting in Matilda rolling her eyes. But now that she had seen how everyone treated her she was starting to wonder. “It was an accident. I stopped in front of her.” Matilda said. Mrs. Phelps turned to glare at her. “Do not interrupt me, young lady! I won’t hesitate to put you in detention with her. Children should not correct adults.” The shock of the threat was enough to reduce Matilda to tears. She had never been in trouble at school before. “Girls, go wait for me in my office.” Miss Honey said. So they waited. And waited. And waited. “Should have just made sandwiches.” Matilda mumbled. “Not like you ate any of it anyway.” At this, Hortensia peeled back the seal on the dish and cut herself out a small piece. “Happy?” Hortensia said through a mouth full. “Why don’t you eat anymore?” Matilda asked. She had witnessed her mom practically force feeding her since she had come back. They had gone from joking about enrolling her in a hot dog eating contest just to feed her lunch to not being allowed up from the table until she ate at least half a serving. “I’m not hungry.” Hortensia said. She was staring at the sliver in her hand. “Do I have to eat this?” “Do you not like it?” “I do. I just don’t enjoy food anymore.” Matilda frowned in thought. “Why? Is it the taste?” Hortensia shook her head. “The texture?” She shook her head again. “Do you think you’re fat? Are you anorexic? Is that why you’ve lost so much weight?” “What, no? I haven’t lost weight.” “You look like a zombie. Maybe you’re turning into a zombie. People food isn’t doing it for you anymore because you crave braaaiiinnnssss.” She stuck her arms out in front of her and mimed walking like the living dead. A hint of a smile appeared at the corners of Hortensia’s lips. “Maybe I should start with yours since it’s so big.” “No, no. Mine hasn’t fully formed yet, it isn’t ripe. You need a mature brain, like Mrs. Phelps.” Hortensia’s face soured. “Eww, that’s too old. It’s probably gone bad. What do you want to bet her brain looks like a shriveled nut sack?” “Eww.” Matilda said, before pausing in thought. “Is everyone always this mean to you?” She asked, changing the subject. Hortensia shrugged. “How do you deal with it?” Matilda was still shaken up. She had thought things would be better with the Trunchbull gone, that perhaps they were only cruel under her orders, but now she could see that was only wishful thinking. Nothing had changed. Mrs. Stephens and the other ladies in the office had seen what had happened and yet, none had come forward in Hortensia’s defense. Not with Mrs. Henderson and not with Mrs. Phelps. Matilda had tried to stick up for her, but it had only made things worse. Would Jenny make the situation right? Could she? Even if she was the boss, she often took a backseat to arguments, couldn’t handle confrontation. She hadn’t said anything to Mrs. Phelps when she had lashed out at her, had merely told them to wait in her office, and that had been, what? 20 minutes ago? What if Matilda had been in the wrong? What if she came back fuming at her for making Jenny look bad? “I’ve never been in trouble with the teachers before.” Matilda mumbled. With Jenny, sure. Matilda was self aware enough even at her age to know she could be…how did Jenny put it…stubbornly willful. Hortensia often called her a fucking know it all. Matilda liked to make up words that sounded like insults to hurl at her when they were fighting and giggle when she couldn’t find them in the dictionary. Once she had even made up a country when Hortensia demanded to know what language she was speaking. Matilda had even gone as far as to convince Brian’s kids to call her an “ovalarskin” and then look at her like she was dumb when she asked what that was. But damn it, she was her “ovalarskin” and she was feeling angry to see her so mistreated by all the adults around her. “That’s because they think you’re a little angel.” Hortensia said sarcastically. “With your ‘yes ma'ams’, and ‘please’.” “You get farther with them if you’re polite.” Matilda said. “But I think nice Matilda needs a break now.” Hortensia’s eyebrows went up. “Have you ever been in a hardware store before?” “Of course i’ve been in a hardware store. I don’t live under a rock.” “Did you know they sell li-” Matilda stopped talking as the door opened and Miss Honey entered looking exhausted and stressed. Without saying a word to either of them she unwrapped the quiche, cut herself out a large slice and collapsed into her chair. “I needed this.” She groaned through a mouthful. No one said anything as Miss Honey scarfed down nearly half the pan single handedly. Finally, she swiped at the crumbs coating her desk and brushed them into her hand. Matilda was starting to think she was going to eat those too, but she dumped them into the trashcan by her desk. She stared at the two of them and sighed. “What happened out there?” “That bi-” Hortensia started to say before Matilda cut in. “Maybe I should say, before you get yourself in trouble.” Hortensia let out an annoyed breath before waving her hand and motioning for her to talk. “They’ve been going after her since the moment we got here.” Matilda said. “Mrs. Henderson gave her a detention when Hortensia didn’t have a hall pass, and then another when she tried to explain why she didn’t have one. She didn’t let her say anything! Then the office kept gossiping about her like she wasn’t even there. I was so surprised when one of them said ‘I had hoped she had gotten expelled’ I stopped walking and Hortensia must have bumped into me. That’s when Mrs. Phelps started yelling at her about pushing me. Am I really going to have a detention? I didn’t mean to talk back, it’s just, no one was defending her at all and it made me mad!” “No, no one’s getting detention.” Miss Honey said before sighing. “I did have a long talk with the women in the office. Mrs. Stephens admitted it was only an accident.” “Then why didn’t she say that to begin with?” Hortensia said, throwing her hands in the air. “She saw the whole thing with Mrs. Henderson too!” “Matilda, how’s your head? I heard you got smacked pretty good.” “Hurts.” Matilda whimpered, rubbing the back of her head. In truth, Mrs. Phelps had caused her more grief than the dish to the back of the scalp, but she wasn’t about to admit that in front of Hortensia. Miss Honey gave her a sympathetic smile. “How about you go see Mrs. Rogers and get some ice. Oh, and bring this. See if she wants any.” She said before adding under her breath, “Before I eat it all.” Matilda giggled despite knowing she was being kicked out. She hadn’t seen her mom eat so much since she had gotten high. She obediently slipped out of the chair, grabbed the dish, and left the office. … “Now,” Miss Honey said once they were alone. She stared at Hortensia. “In your own words, tell me what happened.” “Bi-” “Without swearing.” “You said ‘in my own words’.” she grumbled before sighing. “No one wants me here. Do I have to come back?” “I think it’s still too soon.” Miss Honey said. “You’re still not eating and you still…” Miss Honey frowned in thought. “You’re not ready.” “I still what?” Hortensia asked. “You’re not yourself yet. I might have you do lessons here with Matilda for a bit, before I send you back to class. You’ve got some catching up to do. But when you are ready to come back, there will be some changes. In fact, starting now there will be changes.” Her tone had gone sharp. Hortensia sank down in her seat like a child being scolded. “I called a staff meeting while you girls were waiting. I made it very clear to them they will not be treating you like a criminal any longer. This is a school; not a prison. You are a child; not an inmate. Whatever happened between you and any member of this staff is in the past and they are to treat you like a new student with a clean slate.” “Like that’ll happen.” Horrtensia said sarcastically. “That goes for you as well, Tens. I want this to be an opportunity for you to start over. I know you’re a good kid. You are intelligent, brave, and a good big sister.” “I’m not smart.” Hortensia mumbled looking away. “You have picked up math faster than I thought possible this summer.” “A six-year-old can do it.” Hortensia said morosely. “You can’t compare yourself to Matilda, she’s in a completely different league than anyone I have or probably will ever meet. She operates on a different wavelength than the rest of us. We’re all tuned into AM/FM stations and she's broadcasting out to space. I’m not here to talk about Matilda though, I want to talk about you.” Hortensia shrugged. “I guess.” she mumbled. “Tens,” Miss Honey said, “Please look at me.” Hortensia slowly lifted her head and locked eyes with her. “I can neither make you let go of all the anger inside of you, nor can I ask you to. I can only warn you of what harboring hate for years will turn you into it. You’ve seen it in my aunt. I can not take away the pain or damage, although I desperately wish I could. I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I could stop everything from happening to you, but I can’t. I’m only human. What I can offer you is love and a place in my mismatched, pieced together family. You’ll always be welcome, but you have a choice to make. It wasn’t fair what happened to you. It wasn’t fair what happened to you and it wasn’t fair what happened to me. You can silently hold on to this hate and let it make you bitter and cruel. Or you can take all this pain no one should have had to experience and channel it.” Jennifer reached into her desk drawer and pulled something out. Hortensia looked away as her shoulders slumped. “You want me to stop fighting with the teachers. I get it.” She grumbled. “No.” Jennifer said. Hortensia looked up at her confused. “I want you to fight them. I want you to be the biggest pain in their arse you can be.” Hortensia stared at her flabbergasted as Jennifer held out her palm to reveal a small golden letter “P” pin. “You’re crazy.” Hortensia said, looking from the pin to her. Jennifer laughed. “Who I want you to stop fighting with is the other students. Not everyone here has the courage to speak up for themselves. You know better than anyone how infuriating being treated unfairly can be. Now this doesn’t mean you get to unleash an army of ladybugs in a classroom because someone got their recess taken away for being late.” “I only did that one time.” Hortensia said. “And Mrs. Henderson is still finding dead ladybugs in her classroom three years later.” Jennifer said, causing Hortensia to snicker. “Where did you even get that many lady bugs from?” “You can buy them in a bag at the hardware store.” Jennifer shook her head. She remembered that day. It was her first year teaching and the sound of Mrs. Henderson’s screams had abruptly put a stop to story time. Jennifer had been appalled to hear that kind of language coming from a teachers mouth, and aimed at a student no less. “First you let me break things with a bat, and now you want me to talk back to the teachers?” “Within reason.” Jennifer pointed out. “That does not mean you get to call anyone names. I’ll be having this talk with all the prefects.” Hortensia stared down at the pin in her hand, closely examining it as she twirled it back and forth between her fingers. “I’ll just get in more trouble.” Hortensia mumbled. “They’ll give me detention the moment I open my mouth.” “And if you do and I find it unjustified I’ll over ride it.” Jennifer said. “But if I find out you called anyone a ‘bitch’ or ‘hag’ you better believe you’ll be serving whatever punishment they dish out. You can disagree with someone and still be respectful about it. But if I find out your abusing your position, I’ll take that pin right back.” Hortensia stared at the pin before holding it back out to her. Jennifer shook her head. “Keep it and think it over. I trust you.” And she did. She had discovered something interesting over the summer about her. The more she was treated like a delinquent, the more she acted like one. And being on hall moniter duty would give her additional time on her feet and a chance to expel the extra pent up energy that made her so disruptive in the classroom. “Any questions?” Hortensia didn’t respond, only stared down at her hand which was now empty. Jennifer craned her neck around her desk to see the pin on the ground, but Hortensia made no move to pick it up, only sat perfectly still and stared. “Hortensia?” Nothing. “Tens? Are you alright?” Jennifer turned her head sideways and put her head on her desk to look into Hortensia’s eyes. Blank. She was having one of her fits, which meant…. A wet gurgling sound soon followed. “Ah.” They would have to get to the bottom of this before Jennifer felt comfortable sending her back to class. She stood and made her way before lightly touching the girls shoulder. “Tens, can you hear me?” Nothing. She gave her shoulder a light shake. She didn’t react in the slightest. Jennifer gently lifted her face by the chin and it stayed there when she let go, eyes staring straight ahead at her, but there was nothing in them. She had gone someplace else, someplace safe. That’s what her psychiatrist said anyway. She hoped whatever this was was temporary. Jennifer picked up Hortensia’s backpack, hoping she had packed what Jennifer had asked her to. Good. There was a spare nappy. She pulled it out and rummaged around some more pushing aside empty bags of chips. Jennifer stared at them curiously for a moment. They were all cut open, laid out and looked like they had been cleaned. Hortensia had been saving them for some reason. They hadn’t been there before the hospital, but they hadn’t come from home. Jennifer tried not to keep too much junk in the house as she had found her own clothing becoming a little more snug than she was comfortable with. She wondered briefly where she had gotten them from, but it was a mystery for another time. At least she was eating something. She dug around a bit longer before checking the front pocket. There they were! Gloves! Or more like glove. She frowned. Only one. And no creams or wipes. “Looks like we’re going to Carol’s office.” “Looks like we’re going to Carol’s office.” Hortensia repeated in a flat monotone voice. Jennifer stared at her. “Hortensia? Are you awake?” “Are you awake?” “Can you hear me?” “Can you hear me?” Hortensia mimicked. Jennifer stared at her in surprise. This was… new. She waved a hand in front of her face before snapping her fingers. Hortensia didn’t react, just stared straight ahead with the same dead eyed expression. She put the nappy back where she had found it and slung the pack over her shoulder. She hoisted Hortensia up by the arms into a standing position before linking an arm with hers. Jennifer hated the idea of parading her through the office like this, but she wanted Carol to see. She ignored the curious glances as she slowly guided Hortensia through the busy front office, out the door, and across the hall where she found Matilda talking with Lavender. “Hi, Miss Honey!” Lavender called. “Hi, Miss Honey.” Hortensia repeated. The girls stared at her. “Is it recess?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia echoed the question. Lavender nodded, still staring curiously at the older girl. “Matilda, how about you and Lavender go out and play. I’ve got something I need to take care of. I’ll be a bit.” “I’ll be a bit.” Matilda looked from Jennifer, to Hortensia, and then back to Jennifer. “O-okay?” Matilda said, sounding more like a question than a statement. “Why are you repeating what we say?” “...what we say.” Lavender giggled thinking it was a game, but Matilda furrowed her eyebrows. “I don’t know.” Jennifer answered truthfully earning herself an echo. “She’ll come to in a bit. Go play.” “Go play.” Matilda stared at them a moment longer before turning and heading out to the playground with Lavender. “Jennifer, thanks for the food!” Carol said, looking up from her book as they walked inside. “Thanks for the food.” Hortensia muttered. “You know if she gives up on being a doctor, a chef could be a good second.” “A chef could be a good second.” “See, she agrees with me.” “She agrees with me.” Carol rolled her eyes. “A little too old to be mimicking people.” Hortensia repeated her admonishment. “Problem.” Jennifer mouthed over her head and pointed at her. Carol stared at her curiously before wrinkling her face. She covered her nose and waved a hand in front of her face. “She usually zones out when she has an accident, but now she’s repeating everything she hears.” Jennifer whispered in Carol’s ear. Carol looked Hortensia over for a moment. “Are you sure she’s not messing around?” “Are you sure she’s not messing around?” Jennifer nodded and bit her lip. There was no life in her eyes, and the way she repeated everything in a flat monotone pitch… Something about it made the hair on Jennifer’s arms rise. It was unsettling. Carol leaned down in Hortensia’s face and began to make silly gestures, even going so far as to stick up her middle finger, something Jennifer didn’t appreciate, but Hortensia failed to react at all. “Hortensia? Can you hear me?” Carol asked before receiving an echo in reply. Carol frowned before shrugging. “Does she usually snap out of it on her own?” “Once I change her. Can I have some wipes and gloves? She packed a spare but nothing to clean her with.” “Have you ever let her stay like this and see if she wakes up on her own?” Jennifer nodded and held up a single finger. Never again. “What happened?” “Started screaming like she was having one of her fits, but more…” Jennifer frowned trying to come up with the right words. “Like a toddler having a meltdown.” Feet, arms, fists, legs and poo flying every which way. “It’s better to take care of it before it gets to that point. I have to manually move her, but she’ll stay that way, see.” Jennifer lifted up Hortensia’s arm and it stayed in the air. Carol’s expression turned grim. She looked like she wanted to say something, but shook her head and went to retrieve the supplies. When Jennifer finished, she came back out to find Carol combing through a very large volume. It was the same one she often caught Matilda going through, the nursing textbook with all the graphic pictures. “Has she come to yet?” Carol asked without looking up. “Takes a bit usually, ten minutes at most, but she’s often very disoriented. I try and be there when she wakes up.” “Have you talked to her doctor about this?” “Yes, her psychiatrist says her spacing out is a trauma response.” But Carol shook her head. “That’s not ‘spacing out’.” She slid the book over so Jennifer could read the paragraph. She bent down and read the headline. Akinetic Catatonia. She breezed though the article, not understanding half the medical jargon, but stopped when she saw the list of symptoms. “What’s negavatism?” Jennifer asked as she read through the list. She didn’t like how much this sounded like her. She liked the treatment and causes even less. Schitzophrenia? Brain tumors? Electro convulsive therapy? “You saw how she didn’t respond when I was making faces and talking to her.” Jennifer pinched the bridge of her nose and slid the book back. “Jen, she might need inpatient care.” “No.” Jennifer said. “I am not leaving her at some mental hospital and wiping my hands of her. She’s a child!” “I’m not saying drop her off and forget about her, it’s just something you might need to consider. She needs help.” “And i’m getting her help.” She could feel herself growing defensive. She took a deep breath. “It could be as simple as a change in medication. I’m only talking worst case scenario, i’m not a psychiatrist.” Carol said. They both looked up at the sound of rustling plastic. She was coming to. Jennifer went to her side as Hortensia slowly pushed herself up into a sitting position. “Easy. Easy.” Jennifer whispered as Hortensia wobbled and held her head in her hands. “Do you know where you are?” Carol asked. Hortensia nodded. “Do you know how you got here?” Hortensia nodded again. “Can you speak?” “Yes.” She mumbled before staring at Jennifer. And then she said something that made her stomach drop. “You’re poisoning me.”
    2 points
  5. Hey everyone! First, I just want to give a huge thank you to all who have been reading, commenting, or liking this story. It’s not a lot of you, but it’s always nice to see a few of you enjoying or at least still continuing to read this story. Next, again, I just want to reiterate that I’m still debating on whether I should include the perspective of Emma in this story or not. Let me know your thoughts and I’ll be sure to post my decision by the next chapter. Lastly, for those of you reading this one, I’m still trying to determine my next story, so be sure to let me know what you want of the three stories I placed on here to decide from. For those of you who may have missed these options or whatnot, just refer back to chapter 4. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 11: Tough Roads and Crossroads Lie Ahead Breathing the air of freedom once outside, I couldn’t help but also feel a twinge of fear shiver along and down my back. We were all fragile toys, Tops, Carmen, Poodee, and I, so I knew that any problems that a normal toy would encounter out here, would only be magnified with each of us. As it was, Poodee, Carmen, and I were held together by numerous stitches and patches of fur that might not have even been ours, and Tops was thinning out in several places. His recent attachment to one of the Littles inside had only made it worse, but each of us also carried a determination with us to save our friend. “Alright Poodee, where to now?” I asked the nervous but still present poodle behind me. Poodee held the map up that Sarge had given us and Tops held the flashlight over it. “Hmmm… well, we’re here,” she said while her paw pointed on the map, “but we need to go here.” Her paw then traced far across the map. “Not too bad, but we can either go the longer way, or the shorter but dangerous way.” Of course, it just had to be one or the other. “I don’t know about you all, but if we want a chance at all in making it back here before tomorrow morning, I think we should stick with the shorter path.” Carmen and Poodee just nodded, but Tops seemed a bit hesitant still. “I don’t know, Dash… I’ll go with whatever the group wants to do, but let’s agree that if the path through the shortcut gets too bad, we get out of there immediately. We’re not exactly prime condition toys anymore and it would be dangerous enough for us even if we were.” I nodded. “Agreed. Good thinking, Tops. No sense in losing one of us in trying to save a friend tonight.” I sighed and then turned back around. “Alright, let’s get moving.” “Take a left, Dash…” Poodee noted before folding up the map again. “We go straight after for a bit, but definitely a left up ahead.” I gulped but willed my paws to move on. Left would round us moving behind the daycare… and old man Paul’s backyard. It would only be a brief stint on that side, but I knew without even looking by now that we would also subsequently be passing by Buster’s territory. My heavily stitched ear flicked in nervousness, but for the sake of Pete, I just kept walking. So, soon enough, we all took a left and I could see the back of the building and then the fence on this side that held back Buster. It was an old ugly looking thing, but I just hoped the rust at the bottom would still be enough to adequately keep Buster in check. I thought that if I just walked quietly enough by the fence, he would never suspect any of us, but Carmen accidently stepped on a dry and dead leaf. I snapped around and looked at her with deadly seriousness. “Sorry…” she whispered, having a fear of Buster as well. Any toy worth their while or who actually valued their existence lived in fear of becoming Buster’s next chew toy. Unfortunately, despite our otherwise quiet presence, the dry leaf proved to be enough of a disturbance. Buster quickly ran up to the gate and started barking at us. “Run!” I screamed. We all then ran as fast as we could, but Buster was at least three times our size. He had no problem keeping up with us, and soon, at the end of the fence, I saw our ultimate doom when dealing with a faster animal. There, small but vulnerable, was an opening in that part of the fence. To my horror, using his superior stride and speed, Buster quickly got to it and wiggled through before stopping right in front of us… all seconds before we could have even a single moment to react. “Don’t move…” I barely whispered to my equally petrified friends. Buster growled and loomed ever larger. I could see gobs of drool coat the sidewalk as he stalked right up to us. I felt I was a goner as he paused and sniffed around me. Buster had his meal of me earlier this year, but now, he was going to finish me off. ‘Sorry Pete… we tried…’ But instead, to my utter shock, Buster just licked me. My fur was covered in a thick slime that smelled terrible, but in moments, the hungry pooch was just sitting on his hind legs and wagging his tail and panting right in front of us. “What the…?” “Oh! Doy!” Poodee exclaimed from behind me. I saw each of my friends unfreeze, but Poodee smacked herself on the forehead. “Geez! I always forget… dogs can sense our inherent level of goodness. Everyone just thinks Buster tears into every toy that crosses his path, but he only eats the bad ones.” “Seriously?” Tops asked skeptically to which Poodee only smiled and nodded. Carmen chuckled and then gave me a slap in the back. “Look at that, Dash! You’ve got a genuine endorsement now from the literal animal community. You’re one of the good guys now!” Covered in drool on my left side and now reeking of dog breath, I didn’t feel so lucky, but eyeing my stitches and different patches of fur, I knew full-well that it could be a lot worse. “Lucky me…” “Here…” Poodee then crouched down and picked up a nearby stick. It wasn’t too big, but Buster quickly saw it. Now seeing that she had him in her sway, Poodee drifted the stick back and forth, and almost hilariously, the former mangy and terrifying mutt seemed to move its head with the simple object. “Alright, Buster. Here’s the stick! You want the stick?” Buster quickly nodded back. “Well then… go get it!” With that, Poodee launched the stick back into old man Paul’s yard. Buster immediately took off after it. “How’d you know that was going to work?” Tops asked, marveling and shocked over the latest turn of events, pretty much mimicking Carmen and I as well right then. Poodee just shrugged. “I actually really didn’t… but it did, so come on! We’ve got a lot of ground to cover tonight if we still want to save Pete.” She waved us forward, and the rest of us, still a little stupefied by what had just transpired, followed her lead. After, I thought it was all going to be smooth sailing, but once Poodee looked at the map again, we knew we had to cross a major intersection coming up. For whatever reason, cars still whizzed by in record breaking speeds. I knew without any doubt that if any one of us hesitated for even a second, we were done for. “Well, screw this!” Carmen said, even go so far as to turn around. Tops quickly stopped her. “Easy there, Carmen… we’ll do this together and quickly. We time it right, we should have plenty of time, okay?” She nodded, and while she was the only one of us who had began to run away, I could see the fear still entombed in each of us. Toys weren’t meant to use crossroads, and I had really hoped that the intersection would be clear at this hour. What I didn’t know though, was it was still just at the tail end of rush hour. Still, I felt I needed to lead the group on, and fortunately for everyone else, I had been highly observant in my time with Charley. While it was mostly to form a better strategy in regressing him undetectably and efficiently, it did bleed to a few other aspects of life as well. One was that I knew that Emma was currently wearing the impossibly thick You-Ni-Corns brand of diapers, despite Charley never having worn them, but another was that I knew stoplights pretty well. “Okay… here’s the plan,” I iterated to my friends. “The light’s turn red, yellow, and green.” I then pointed to the nearest stoplight. “If it’s green, we’re goners, but yellow and red may give us a shot. As soon as the light turns red next when we’re all ready, we’ll dart across the street here. We’ll go faster than a walk, but not so much where we could trip.” I then pointed to the other side of the street. “If the lights over there turn yellow though, I want everyone to run. Even if you drop something, just run. Everyone clear?” Most nodded, but Poodee seemed a little hesitant. “What about being seen? Won’t it be weird for us to just be running across the road?” I nodded. “It would, but each of us is going stick a few bits of dried leaves around us. It’s pretty dark around here, and if anyone sees us, they’ll likely just pass us off as blowing leaves in this weather. It’s not fool proof, but right now, unless someone has another idea, this will just have to be the plan.” Everyone nodded, and I could still see the hesitancy in Poodee’s eyes, but she gathered up the fallen bits of twigs and leaves to stick in around her body. The leaves weren’t amazing, but once most of our sides were covered up, I saw that everyone was at least as ready as they were going be. “Alright, let’s move out in 3… 2… 1… go!” The whole group quickly took off across the road. I few cars cut the intersection pretty close to the crosswalk we were quickly walking across but considering no one was shrieking over the sight of us, I felt our disguises were halfway decent for this time of night. We were almost across though, when the unthinkable happened. Tops was half-walking, half-hopping across the street. He was still pretty confident and was even helping Carmen to cross as well, but at the same time, his crossing was much slower than the rest of us. He wasn’t the worst walker I had ever seen, but by the time I was across to the other side and looking back at him, he was still only about halfway. “Go faster, Tops!” I shouted back at him. Tops nodded, but even though the light was red, I saw a car speeding toward the intersection and the crosswalk Tops was still on. I wasn’t sure what was happening, and maybe I got it wrong, but it didn’t matter… Tops was right in the car’s path. “Tops! Run! Run right now!” “What? What is it?” Poodee asked worriedly. “Look!” I shouted while pointing to the low riding and speeding car headed right for our friend. She quickly saw the danger immediately. “Move it Tops! Come on!” Poodee cried out as well. The racing yellow and blue car just sped further. Tops tried, but his speed just wasn’t a match for the oncoming car. In seconds, I squeezed my eyes shut, as I heard Carmen shriek out. “Tops! No!” I felt sick. I was a mere toy out here in the big wide world, and I knew there was nothing I could do… but then I looked back. Thinking and dreading that I was going to find my friend’s shattered remains, to my everlasting pleasant surprise, I just saw Tops, hunched over and crouched into a little ball. I could see some black marks on his back where the underside of the car had grazed him and his camouflage was absolutely pulverized, but he was alive. “Holy…!” “You made it!” Poodee yelled out to him with clear relief and jubilation. “Yeah…” Tops said, looking over his body to see if he was even really injured anywhere. “I guess I did…” “Oh! You idiot!” Carmen cried out, clearly a little emotional over her close friends near passing. “Get out of the road, you damn fool. You only get one miracle tonight, and you just zapped yours right in the bud!” We all chuckled a little after and inspected Tops a little further once he finally made it to the other side. His back was definitely going to need a good wash, but he was otherwise mostly intact from his near miss of the car. I suspected he was likely only inches away from becoming a pancake, but in this case, ‘almost’ had just saved my friend’s life. So, our calms returning to normal, we ventured onward. On the direction of Poodee though, we soon entered the forest section of our path tonight. If we were able to cross the whole thing, we would be safe at last, as far as roads or dogs were concerned, on the other side, but seeing the mass of trees and thicket, I knew I couldn’t get my confidence too high up just yet. “Let’s go everybody… single file…” Everyone didn’t like the path, but knew we had few other choices, so we all entered one at a time. Soft pellets of mud began to pelt each of us as we moved through the bramble before us. It was hard going but we were making progress as I had hoped we would. I was worried would have been ensnared in the thicket after about five minutes in, but instead, it took about 30 minutes. “I’m caught…” Poodee called out from the rear. Her delicate condition after Harriet’s previous adventures of tearing her apart had been taking a toll on her ever since we entered the forest. While Tops had been snagged, and Carmen and I had to maneuver carefully around one particularly large bush in our way a little bit ago, each of us had made it through unscathed. Now, I looked at Poodee, and I could see from her brief struggling in the rear, she had only entwined herself more tightly into the thorned bush she was now attached to. “Oh… crud…” was about all I could say right then. Carmen gave me a little slap to my side. “Dash! That’s not helpful,” she admonished me while working her way back to the trapped Poodee. “We need to help her out of this…” She seemed sure in her words, but her looks showed her trepidations about the whole situation. Sighing, I dragged Tops along and we all examined the situation with our trapped friend. “Wish I had brought a knife…” Tops finally said when each of us had thoroughly examined the bush and yet Poodee was still stuck. “Well, wishing won’t do us any good…” Carmen pointed out. “If only we could just get through this branch…” Her arm gestured to one of the more firmly embedded branches in Poodee now. “Maybe we could just…? No… Or maybe…? No…” Finally, though, Poodee made the hard call for all of us. “Look… time’s wasting on just me. At this point, either leave me behind or pull me out. If I rip, I rip.” Her words were confident, but I could still see the fear behind her eyes. “Are you sure, Poodee? We can keep trying if you want. We won’t leave you, but ripping yourself apart… and in your condition? It could be worse than we could repair…” Poodee sighed and looked back over her trapped body, but ultimately nodded. “Just do it… quick. Or at least before I change my mind.” So, with her final consent, I nodded back at my other friends, and each of us grabbed her in a strategic more secure position. “Okay… we pull when I say and pull towards me… only towards me. Got it?” My friends nodded and Poodee did as well, but it seemed like she wanted to be anywhere else right then… and I really couldn’t blame her. “And… now!” With one hard yank, Poodee was free. Unfortunately, we all heard a loud rip and quickly rushed to see where it had come from. To our relief, the branches had only popped a few of her older stitches, but still, some fluff was threatening to tumble its way out of her. Seeing my friend like that, I knew our options were limited in going forward. Ahead just seemed like more of the same, and I knew Poodee couldn’t handle another situation like that again, let alone risk it for the rest of us as well. I then looked up, and to my relief, the moon was high in the sky. From one of Charley’s later before bed books that Monica had read to him, I knew it meant that it was now firmly nighttime. I turned back to my friends, and could see their fear and hesitancy moving forward, so with it all combined, I knew what we had to do. “I know things have been tough, but we have to keep moving for Pete. That being said, we told ourselves that if it ever got too hard with the shortcut, we would hit the longer way. So, who’s in favor of going the longer route now?” Everyone seemed hesitant, but Poodee was quick with the map and after looking at for a moment, looked back up. “It actually looks like we made it through the longer part of the longer path. Now, the distances are about the same between either option. If we take a right up at the creek, we could make it out of here and get to the repair shop in about the same time as going forward would.” Smirking at Poodee having likely saved our hides, literally, I turned back to the group. “So… how about now?” Quickly everyone raised their hands, and so, using Poodee and her map, we finally made it back out of the woods using the stream she had told us about. I never felt so relieved to see a sidewalk and a road in all my life. Awhile later, we were within sight of the repair shop, but I could hear voices quickly approaching. It could have been just another bunch of toys, but I didn’t want to take the chance, so I spun back around to the group. “I hear voices! Hide!” Like scurrying nocturnal animals shirking away from the light, we all dove into a cluster of nearby bushes. Despite the lateness of the year, they still were pretty well covered in their usual foliage, so they provided an excellent cover for us. Not long after, I saw that I was right to dive into the bushes. “Geez… you hear about those new humane Little laws on the senate floor in New Columbia?” the man asked the woman, both Bigs. “I did… poor little deluded dears think that thing is actually going to pass?” she asked rhetorically, clearly not a part of the Littles movement. “Must be true babies there to think that would ever pass.” The man nodded, but also seemed a little uncertain. “I don’t know, Irene… I’ve been hearing the arguments made and I have to say… almost convinced me…” “Oh, Richard…” she practically gasped. “Not you as well?” Richard laughed right as they walked by us. “Oh, definitely not. Just saying though… Libertalia is changing. This may be the south, but the north is having a pretty powerful influence on the senators at least. I doubt the house will pass it though…” “Oh, definitely not,” Irene agreed. “All Littles are just helpless babies and sometimes, they just need a strong hand to guide them. I mean if not us, who then? The Middles?” Both shook with laughter, and after a turned corner, were gone. When my existence began, I would have been a staunch ally of what they were saying. I even believed back then that Littles were meant to be and would have been better off regressed. Now, I was about the polar opposite end of the spectrum and would have told them both off if I could. After all, it was people like Nancy that made the passage of those laws more important than most other things right now. “What a bunch of whack jobs!” Carmen spat. “I don’t know, Carmen…” Tops began hesitantly, “not saying I’m in favor of shooting that bill down obviously, but what they said about it never passing? Can’t really fault them for thinking that might just be some elaborate joke or ploy by Littles.” “No,” Carmen sighed, “but I wish it was a little closer to reality than just a pipe dream of that pro-Littles movement.” “You just never know…” Poodee mused dreamily. “You’ve seen our daycare… that place is built with pro-Littles in mind.” We all looked at her strangely. “Uh, Poodee… how can you say that? They use FOY and most Littles end up younger than they were supposed to. How is that a pro-Little place?” I asked her. “Just think for a minute… if it wasn’t for FOY, the Bigs would use surgery, punishments, and hypnosis to hurt or change the Littles back down into submission and into their second babyhoods. FOY isn’t great either, but it’s more like going to sleep than downright abuse at least. From what you’ve seen, don’t you think the same?” She had a point, and I could tell that the rest of the group thought so as well. FOY was still part of the problem, but with all the other solutions out there, it did seem to be at least a little more merciful. In some cases, I had even heard it was able to be reversed. It would take a lot of effort, but as opposed to surgery where something would be cut, FOY gave a Little the chance to still be who they were again one day to some extent. Case in point, Emma. If it was even a decade ago, there would have been no way I could have ever helped her, however… she was facing a brutal Big, but I also knew that was only because she had been healed now to some degree. Shuffling the thought off, I got everyone back out of their seeming daze and led us on to the repair shop just down the street. A bird tried to swoop in on us on the way, but a quick little flashlight action from Tops shooed them away in no time. Then finally, after a former enemy dog, mud, others speeding through red lights, birds, and bushes, we were face to face with the shop. The whole group just stared up at the little shop at this nearly abandoned corner of town, but of course to us toys, the whole thing still seemed gargantuan. I think we were all also just a little stunned that we had even made it here at all as well. Of course, one wants to believe they will succeed in their appointed task, but the odds were always long, as we had even proved tonight with our several near misses. Another variation of this group… all of us might just be tomorrow’s mulch by now. Still, I was just personally glad we were finally here. “So… do we just ring or…?” Tops asked sarcastically. Carmen just rolled her eyes at his comment, but I knew his question was valid. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about getting in, but I was still determined to put on a front of confidence in front of the group. “Spread out… there’s got to be a way in for us toys. Bigs don’t always think of security for keeping us out.” The group nodded and split up. Poodee was with me while Tops and Carmen went their own separate ways. After a moment, Poodee kept looking but broke the silence between us. “You didn’t have a plan to get in, did you?” I sighed. “Was it that obvious?” To my shock, Poodee giggled a little. “No, but I can see when you’re lying Dash. Being quiet for so long made me a keen observer and I basically picked up on everyone’s subtle clues in their bodies. I saw you were confident to be able to get in, but not that you had a plan to do it. Besides, if you did, I don’t think we would be looking, right?” “I never thought of it like that before…” I was just glad that Poodee wasn’t making a big deal out of it now. I knew that Pete was a mentor to all of us and any plan to rescue him was considered brave, so I suspected I was being given a little slack. Still, though, I couldn’t help but feel good that she kept my small secret in confidence. “Hey Dash! Poodee!” Carmen then shouted a little bit later. “I think we found something!” Poodee and I then rushed around the corner of the building and came face to face with a large door. I couldn’t see anything up top like I had expected, but when my eyes shifted back down to confront Carmen and Tops, I saw it… it was a large doggy door right in front of me. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! Another dog tonight? These Bigs collect them or something around here?” “I don’t about that, but it’s this or we bust out a window from what I can see,” Tops noted as he hoped down from a few stacked boxes by a window up higher. “Positive is though… up in the window, I saw the dog, but I also saw it’s treats. It doesn’t look too unfriendly, but I can hook one of the treats with the rope and bribe the dog as part of plan B.” It seemed to make sense, but then I felt I missed something. “Plan B? What happened to plan A?” Carmen shuffled around and gestured to Poodee. “What she said earlier… animals can sense the good in us or not. Plan A is just to walk in and hope for exactly that.” “But I’m going to play it safe and hook the treat first… just in case that’s just some toy circle gossip or rumor.” Tops gestured to each of us. “I don’t think anyone wants to take a risk otherwise, right?” We all quickly shook our heads and then went along with their plan. We each crept quietly into the doggy door and were just thankful there weren’t any extra alarms to it. The repairman likely thought a Big, Middle, or even Little would never be able to fit through the opening unseen during the day, and at night, the dog we were now about to charm, would likely take care of anything or anyone else. I just hoped that Poodee was right earlier. Tops then pulled the rope out and made a little lasso out of it. It took about seven or eight tries, but soon, he hooked one of the longer treats hanging off the edge and pulled it down. Carmen caught it while I went over cautiously and held out my paw to my fellow dog. In seconds, the dog began to stir. Its eyes opened and stared me down cold. It was the same look that Buster had given me when he first saw me. I could feel my whole body begin to internally quake in fear. I didn’t want to show it, but I knew my instincts were powerful and were probably about to get me to flee the scene in seconds. “Treat… now…” I whispered over to Tops. Tops nodded and both he and Carmen slid the treat over to me. I slowly picked it up and held it out in front of me. “Nice doggy… Easy there… just a toy, giving you a treat… no biting me please…” The dog, Bruno, sniffed my outstretched paw and the treat held within. At first, he didn’t seem to know what to do. Clearly, we were intruders and Bruno likely only had one order for things like us. At the same time though, we were apparently good toys and giving him a treat. Fortunately, seconds later, Poodee was proven correct, and our goodness and the treat won out over his training. “Oh, who’s a good boy? Who’s a good boy?” Carmen asked in her sing-song voice to Bruno. Bruno just responded happily and licked all of us. One treat later and Bruno settled down. To my relief, we were now inside and past the ‘security.’ “Okay… this place isn’t too big, but there do seem to be a lot of rooms. I say we split up again but be sure to shout out. Time is ticking and Pete needs this part no matter what before morning. We can always delay or come in late to the daycare, but right now, Pete is the priority.” Everyone nodded and we split up individually to cover more ground this way. Presumably, we had navigated our way through the hardest obstacles already tonight. Being a repair shop, I half-expected to find bauble and half worn out fixtures from everyday appliances, and while I did find several of those objects in the first room I searched, the rest of the shop seemed dedicated to toys. It made sense of course to house us toys since he was the one who was repairing us from the daycare, but it was just downright unsettling to see so many of us here. To my ultimate sadness though, it didn’t take long to see that most in here were just husks of their former selves. Most were decades old by now and had likely already just moved on as whatever we were. I had seen it before a few weeks ago with a particular old mouse toy that just kind of stopped living as we were. There was a whole ceremony, and it was very nice, but this place… it was giving me the creeps. Essentially, for us toys, we were basically looking at a hospital, morgue, and cemetery all in one. Trying to shuffle those images out of my head, I found a backroom that seemed to be under heavy security. Given that Pete was likely to be repaired where the repairman kept all his tools, I figured they had to be valuable. A room like that was bound to have a little extra security. I was wrong. As soon as I entered, I knew I had made a mistake coming in here. The repairman had looked at me closely and a little too greedily for my own liking, but I had just passed it off as another project for him to fix… maybe a challenge even. I now thought differently as this room was filled with dozens of lines of toys. Baby lions, Miss Pinks, Mister Browns, even Hop’s model. All seemed to be asleep or even moved on, but it was the toys at the rear of the room that really drew me in and unnerved me most of all. There, tucked away preciously, were about a dozen of so of the ‘Dash’ line… my line… I slowly approached, hoping that maybe with our inherently large mental capacity, they would be able to tell me something. As soon as I came within a few feet of them, each of their eyes opened wide and stared back at me. I stopped and even jumped back a little bit in surprise. “One of us,” they chanted in unison. “Uh… hi,” I said, a little nervous. I was honestly hoping they wouldn’t recognize me in my current state, but each just seemed to peer within me more than what I felt comfortable with. “Uh… I’m looking for a parrot that might have come through here… can you all…?” “One of us,” they said in unison again. “Yeah… you said that,” I nearly stuttered as I tried to move on, “but see, I need to find a parrot. He’s about this tall and…” “One of us, brother,” another Dash said, now walking up to me. “Welcome home.” I quickly backed away. “Yeah… no thanks. I already have a home. See, I need to find a par…” “No, Dash. You belong with us,” the other me said more demandingly this time, even going so far as to walk closer to where I was. The rest soon followed, and I glanced back at the door and wondered if it would hold all of them back if it came to that. “No… I belong with Emma, and I need to get back to her…” I said, trying to go about this whole thing a different way. “See, to do that, I need to find…” “You’ve come back. It’s been so long since you’ve been here brother,” the head toy enforced, clearly not letting up or wanting to talk about Pete. “Uh, I’ve been here before? Like here, here?” I questioned. I didn’t remember that, but then again, if I was ever repaired, I was supposed to go into factory mode temporarily to preserve my systems. If that’s what was happening to the rest of the Dash’s, it could explain the creepy group speak. Disturbingly though, everyone of… me, began to quietly laugh. “Yes, brother,” they said in unison. “One of us. Come… be one of us.” The lead Dash nodded at the rest of the pack and then looked at me. “You were repaired and maintained here by one Monica Hubert.” I could see the Dash’s eyes light up a pale white and I knew he was going through online files. It was a feature I never found particularly useful, but I guess in cases like these… “Yes… you were here some time ago for your check-up, but then never returned…” “Return, brother,” the pack said in unison. “They are right, Dash. Return with us, brother,” the head Dash tried to convince me. “Return to us. Let us repair you… let us show you the way again…” I could almost feel myself being drawn into them. I didn’t want to, but I almost felt a wave of some kind leading back over to them. “Dash? Dash? Where are you? Where did you…?” Carmen then stepped into the room and saw the scene unfolding before her. “Oh… what the…” “Carmen!” I shouted. Her presence seemed to be shocking enough that I felt the wave dissipate and I quickly ran over to her. “Thank all cuddles above that you’re here! I had a…” Carmen shook her head. “I don’t think I want to know… just come on… we found Pete” She then tried to lead me, but the other Dash’s looked right back at us. Curiously though, they didn’t seem to move any further from where I had left them. “Brother…” the head Dash began again. “Why are you with her? She is beneath you. Come back to the fold. We can help you be part of the pack again.” “One of us,” the pack said in unison, their eyes now glowing the same yellow mine used. “Jiminy!” Carmen shouted out in shock over seeing my other models. She then took hold of one of my paws and refocused me back on her. “Let’s go, Dash. We shouldn’t be here!” I nodded slowly and took one last look at the leader and the pack. “We will be waiting for you, Dash… always… you’re one of us…” I could feel a pull of some kind right then, but Carmen’s tugging just helped me push past the room. After a second, I didn’t feel it, and I stopped. “Wait… Carmen… I just want to thank…” Carmen then held her own hoof up to my mouth and shook her head. “I don’t know what happened in that room, but I don’t want to know. You are our Dash, and we are here to save Pete. Let’s just agree to never talk about what I just saw in that room… for both our sakes, okay?” I slowly nodded and quickly walked away with Carmen to wherever Pete was apparently being kept. As we passed dozens of worn out or husked toys, I was just glad that she had come and pulled me away. I wasn’t sure what was going on back there, but I felt as if I stayed, I would have never wanted to leave the pack again. There was something else though as well. I wasn’t sure what it was, and for a moment, I almost thought it was a pity for them. Sure, they were shiny and even truly flashy, but they were all alone and would likely never find a Little to stay with permanently. In essence, they would never be someone’s stuffy. I don’t think they cared though, and the more I thought about it as I raced toward Pete, the more I felt it was something else. Ever since Emma had called me, ‘Pash,’ I kept rolling the name around in my head. It felt weird and just plain unnatural at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I wondered who I even was anymore. Seeing those other near-drone Dash’s, I wondered if I really even could call myself a true ‘Dash’ anymore. Sure, I still had my speed and my abilities like those others, but I also felt a shift within myself that at the end of the day, I wasn’t the same toy that I was even beyond my special features. Now, I wasn’t sure if I was Patch exactly, but I also wondered if I just took a second to think about it, that maybe I was more Patch than Dash lately. For right now though, I had to set that thought aside and just help Pete.
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  6. Thanks for the update! I'm excited for you. I was thinking, do you plan on returning to the referral urologist if you have issues after your next surgery? I imagine he will be even more confused when you tell him you had another procedure, after he recently saw you and noticed it all healed well. 😂I Please do continue to share anything you want, even if you feel it's mundane. ❤️
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  7. https://wgme.com/amp/news/local/north-yarmouths-infamous-diaper-bandit-returns-dumping-soiled-diapers-on-town-roads-routes-9-115-231-maine-crime-gross-cumberland-county-sheriffs-office-littering The North Yarmouth diaper dumper.
    1 point
  8. Us army NG, 05-26. .come on retirement... Ktown 06. Iraq 08-09 Ordnance mech, ADA repair. Heavy tac recovery 91B,94A, asi H-O8, 09B
    1 point
  9. Army NG, 05- 26 Iraq 08-09
    1 point
  10. My Uncle Posted This: I thought everyone would like it Thank You to ALL Veterans for their Service, Regardless of what Branch, What Date of Service, what you did or where you were posted Brian
    1 point
  11. Part 31 With wide eyes, I vigorously shook my head back and forth. That was NOT what I wanted. “Kate-” I began, though it was difficult to even get that much out with the way she was pushing the childish accessory against my lips. “No.” Practically growling in response, she shoved the plastic ring forward and gave another horrifying massage-like rub against my pelvis with the dirty pull-ups. I stiffened and shut up immediately; her cruel movements stopped in response, but her stern gaze remained. “When your pacifier is in, you aren’t allowed to talk. Remember?” Of course. The helpless experience in the car was recent enough, although it was nothing compared to the current moment. Nodding my head with watery eyes, I prayed she would let up. How had I let things come to this?! Technically, Kate never made me do anything. I made each choice for myself. But that didn’t mean that I actually wanted something as ridiculous as being her younger sister; I just kept choosing what sounded like the best option compared to the alternatives she provided. “Good girl,” Kate repeated. She took her hand off the pacifier, but kept her grip down below. “Now, suck on your tit and listen up.” I did as I was told, blushing a bit at the crass term. Going on, Kate said, “Now, I’m tired of you acting out. If you still want my help dealing with your not so little problem, you’re going to behave from here on out. Understand?” Affirming with another awkward nod, I nervously sucked on the pacifier and willed myself to meet her eyes instead of glancing away in embarrassment. “That’s what I thought. Now, since you clearly didn’t get it the first time, here’s what’s going to happen: You are going to be a little ball of fun during your fashion show. I want you to smile, and giggle like a schoolgirl, and be ANNIE. Like, really sell it. Can you manage that, sis?” It was the same directive as before, but the stakes felt a lot higher now. Considering my sister’s no nonsense attitude at the moment, this could very well be my last chance to keep my mortifying secret between just the two of us. And in order to do so, I had to be a bubbly tween? It went against my normal nature in every possible way. Despite my reservations, I found myself nodding. “Good. If you’re the cutest little sister in the whole world, you might even get a change before mini golf. Now, how about a little practice?” Kate finally removed her hand from below my skirt, and used the other to pop the pacifier out of my mouth. Stepping back with an idle smile, she asked, “Are you ready for your fashion show, Annie?” With almost no time to get into character, I simply blurted out the most extreme version of what she was asking for. “Like, oh my God, YES.” Pushing a big smile on my face, and wanting the floor to swallow me up as my sister smiled victoriously towards the sudden burst of energy, I persevered when that wish didn’t come true. “I’m, like, so excited.” “That’s a much better attitude for a girl your size, sis. And you just gave me a really fun idea! Why don’t we give you a quota? You need to say ‘like’ at least five hundred times before we get back from mini golf. I’ll be counting!” Wait, what? My smile shrunk for a moment at just how stupid and childish that would make me sound, but of course that’s probably why she thought of it as ‘really fun.’ In a small act of rebellion, I forced the smile back and agreed with, “Like, that’s like, such a, like, good idea. Like, seriously!” Kate just rolled her eyes. “Nice try, brat. The count stays at zero until the twins are with us. And it’s always paused when it’s just the two of us, even after that. Okay?” The only way to stop myself from arguing was to go in the completely opposite direction in the name of survival. Awkwardly giggling instead, I agreed with an overly enthusiastic, “Okay!” “Like the little sister I always wanted,” Kate smirked, “Keep it up. Your count might pause when we’re alone, but not your lovely attitude. That can stay!” “Of course, sis!” “Now take off your skirt, Annie. And then you’ll need some help getting dressed, right?” Fuck me. I managed to get away with doing the bra myself, but Kate was clearly prompting me to answer the way she wanted. “Umm, yeah,” the giggle was fake, but the nerves behind it were real, “I guess I could use a little help.” As I began removing the last part of my original outfit of the day, I belatedly realized that this would be the first time either of us would be seeing the pull-ups on me by themselves. So far, I had managed to keep myself covered, even after the humiliating process of wetting myself and then worse. Unfortunately, it was too late to stop. Not only had I already partially pulled the skirt down, but I had literally just agreed to be a ‘ball of fun’ with a good attitude. I wasn’t in the best position to argue or backtrack. At least making sure that Kate wasn’t pulling out her phone, even though I was pretty sure she had left it in the bedroom, I reluctantly worked the skirt past the bulky underwear that made the undressing process more difficult than if I had simply been wearing panties. Blushing as pink as the pull-ups that came into view, I quickly shifted my legs and let gravity drop the skirt to my ankles before my embarrassment caused me to yank them back up for protection. “Oh, Annie,” Kate frowned, “Wow, you really filled those up, didn’t you?” NO. It was a weird thought to have, but even wetting and messing myself shouldn’t have caused the considerable sag that I could see and feel a lot more clearly now that Kate was directly pointing it out. But we had poured a whole bottle of yellow sports drink down the pull-ups before getting settled in the car. If anything, it was all that extra liquid that was weighing them down. Or maybe it was just easier telling myself that, since I didn’t want to believe that my own mess was the culprit. Oh no. I was supposed to have a nonstop good attitude. It was one thing when talking about trying on new outfits, but this? No girl ever, nineteen or twelve, would have an upbeat demeanor about something so awful. Except me, apparently. “It’s fine!” Stepping out of my skirt with a hesitant grin, I said, “It was just a little accident. Nothing a shower can’t fix!” Take the hint, sis. If she hadn’t made the point earlier about the pull-ups being tricky to dispose of without being caught, I would be running the water right now so I could jump in. My salvation was so close, and yet so far. “Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe I should make a pass with some wet wipes first. I have a bunch of babysitting experience, remember? And you might miss a spot without my help.” Was that actually what she had in mind? No way. Letting her see me undressed like this was bad enough; the last thing I needed was my smug sister getting the chance to witness me in an even worse state. “It’s fine, really!” Leaning harder into the immature roleplay in an attempt to appease her, I let out an obnoxiously girly giggle compared to the previous one. “Like, I have accidents, like, all the time! Don’t worry, I know how to clean myself up.” “All the time?” Kate echoed, “Is that why you packed all those pull-ups?” “Mm hmm,” I nodded, “Just in case.” The way her face lit up was not a good sign. Anything that was fun and exciting for Kate was rarely those things for me. “Well, you should probably wear them for the rest of the weekend, then. Like, 24/7, until I can trust that you’re potty trained.” ------------------ Check out my website: www.ladyluciastories.com And read more of "The Road Trip" (85+ parts) and other stories on my SubscribeStar: https://subscribestar.adult/lady-lucia
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  12. It's my potty and I'll try if I want to.
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  13. Then there is MY GIRL WANTS TO POTTY ALL TH TIME
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  14. Chapter 35: Unrest Little in Love 2 – LittleFallenPrincess “And so unrest consumes the country for a fifth day.” The news reporter began their segment. “There is a warrant out for Ms Clarke’s arrest, as she is believed to be the instigator of the protesting and rioting, after her adorable speech earlier this week.” My team and I stood around the monitors, watching the latest propaganda news segment being broadcast. “Does this…?” I began to ask Dotty, who was sitting at the computer, looking exhausted. “Have subliminal hypnosis intended for littles? Yes. Thankfully we have our filter program which blocks out any hypnosis they are trying to push into our heads.” Dotty explained to me. “Otherwise we’d be giving up the fight and giving in, shitting ourselves as we babble incessantly.” “Exactly. Thankfully, most littles are either already out protesting and aren’t watching the news, mostly they avoid the news because they know it’s dangerous for them, or they were already adopted and regressed. The Amazons think this will work, but they really underestimate us. This will barely affect any littles.” “Right, I need to…” “You need to get some rest, Olivia.” Dotty said to me, trying to sound stern. “I’m fine.” “You’ve barely been sleeping since you took over. You’re doing a great job, and we’re helping as many protesters as possible, especially the littles. We’ve infiltrated the systems the Amazons are using, to keep one step ahead of them and try to disrupt them as best we can. But you need to sleep.” “I’ll sleep once this is over.” I replied, sounding more like a brat than a leader. “When do you think this will end? Today? Tomorrow? Or will this continue for weeks? Months? Years?” She said, raising her eyebrow at me. “Don’t care. I’ll have a nap later.” “You’ll have a nap, right now, missy…” I heard a voice coming from the entrance to LIBRA’s hidden operation. “Oh hey Claire!” I responded. “How is Malcolm?” “He’s helping organise things on the east side of the city. Eve has got the hospital locked down, only allowing littles through who have been regressed by the police or by the police’s Amazon allies.” Claire responded, walking over to me. “And what about Charlie? Is she okay?” “That friend of hers is looking after her. She says Charlie is fine for now, but still no sign of her waking up.” I sighed, trying to rub the tiredness from my eyes, as I looked back to the monitors. “This can’t go on forever. It’s bad out there. Maybe not warzone bad, but it’s still bad for everyone involved, especially littles.” I said, groggily. “How does this end?” Dotty asked, looking away from her screen at me. “Either we win, the people get what they want, and we enact real change for the betterment of everyone in this country… or we all lose and we end up shitting our nappies and sucking on our toes in nurseries across the country.” “Can I go for option A?” She smiled awkwardly at me. “We’ve heard no comment from the government, they don’t seem to be backing down, so we have to prepare ourselves for option B…” “At least you’ll have a great Mummy…” Dotty laughed, awkwardly. “As if they’d let me stay with my wife… they’ll declare her unfit to be a mother and put me with some little-hating arsehole who will wipe my mind.” “Girls… let's move away from this topic, I can see you both visibly shaking.” Claire said, thankfully distracting us both. “The west and north sides of the city have got their assignments and everything is being handled.” “And the south?” I asked. “Not heard back from them yet. I was going to go check in on them…” I quickly interrupted her. “Can I come?” “Liv… we know it’s too dangerous for you to leave. Not now anyway, not with the police looking for you and every anti-little Amazon out there trying to be the one to adopt you.” “But I’m getting a little stir crazy in here…” I wasn’t exaggerating, being stuck in this place for nearly a week has made me miss fresh air and sunlight. It was barely hours after I arrived that the Chief of Police broadcast that they had a warrant out for my arrest. So after a very brief discussion in which everyone made sure to tell me just how dangerous it is for me to even show my face outside the windows, and how important I am to the cause right now… I was basically imprisoned within LIBRA HQ. At least they set me up a little room off to the side, which was basically a closet, just for me. It had a bed, some spare clothes and just enough room to change in. But aside from changing my clothes in the morning… I barely used the room. I had the occasional nap when I was forced to, but I was too focused on helping people out there from here at LIBRA HQ, trying my best to lead a team I was still getting to know. It was a lot, and involved what were probably some of the most stressful and terrifying things I had ever had to do, but the thought of what would happen if we failed gave me the drive to continue. Problem was… without Charlie I was close to my breaking point, and if we didn’t have some kind of positive change soon… I was going to crash and burn. And then I wouldn’t be useful to anyone. At least I knew Charlie was in good hands, Eve and Faith were working tirelessly on not only helping littles who had been affected by hypnosis during the protests, but also on helping Charlie. One of the first things that I did when I got here was ask about the hypnosis they had developed that would work on Amazons. Thankfully, Dotty was all too happy to give me the machine that had been used on Charlie to give to Faith, hoping that she could reverse engineer it to create a fix for my wife. “Liv, go lay down. You’ve barely slept, you’ve barely eaten, and you’ve not had any time to yourself…” Claire repeated. “But…” Claire gave me her sternest ‘do it now, little lady’ face, making me quake in my boots. “Right, can you handle things without her?” Claire asked Dotty. “We’ll be fine. You go rest, Olivia.” Dotty replied. “Come on then, Liv…” Claire said, lifting me up, plopping me on her hips and carrying me off to the little room that had been made up for me. “Won’t you doing this… undermine my leadership or something?” I asked as Claire carried me on her hip through the back corridors. “Hun… we’re all worried about you. They all love you, you’re doing a great job. If it wasn’t for you… the protests would have been quashed days ago. Your organisation and your leadership has ensured we’ve had the right resources and the right people in the places we needed them most. We’ve stopped countless arrests because of you. Now you need to rest. A few hours in bed won’t hurt the cause, don’t worry.” “But…” “If anything changes, regarding the protests or Charlie, I’ll wake you up straight away, don’t worry, Princess.” I could feel something within me stir a little at being called that. It wasn’t enough to make me feel that headspace again, but it was enough to alert me that it still exists. That even after everything with not-Charlie… that side of me wasn’t completely ruined. Problem was… I wasn’t sure how long it would take for that side of me to heal. And also how it’d react with actual Charlie babying me… because a large part of me worried that that bridge had been burned and wasn’t being rebuilt any time. I guess I’ll have to wait and find out… if Charlie ever wakes up… “I know you haven’t had anything to occupy yourself other than the protests, and I also know you haven’t eaten much…” “Snitches…” I pouted as Claire opened the door to my ‘room’ and placed me gently on the bed. “So I got you a few things whilst I was out.” I looked to my side to see a brown paper bag. And the inner child within me squealed in delight at the thought of a surprise, so I quickly grabbed it and opened it to find a sandwich, a packet of crisps, a drink and… a colouring book, along with some crayons. “I… I don’t know if…” “Hey Liv, you don’t have to if you’re not up for it. I just thought it may be a good, simple idea for you to get your mind off things and focus on something else for ten minutes. So you’ve got 20 minutes to eat and colour, then I’m checking in on you. If you’re not in bed by then… I’ll put you to bed myself. Including a bedtime story…” “A bedtime story… from Claire? Oh wow… I must be really special…” “Oh Olivia… of course you are! Before our little team got together, I felt lost. But then I met you and Malcolm and Eve and… well, I gained a family. I love you just as if I would my kid sister, if I had one.” “You never talk about your family…” “They’re all gone. But maybe I’ll tell you about them, once this is all over. But you have to be good, eat some food, and get some sleep!” “What about LIBRA?” I asked. “What about them?” “You had them before you met us…” “They allowed me to do some good in the world. But it felt more like helping an organisation than helping the littles themselves. Especially as an Amazon in a littles rights organisation, I felt like a bit of an outsider, even if a good number of us are Amazons. It was your team that made me feel special… wanted… loved. So if you want that bedtime story… the offer is there…” “I’ll hold you to that offer… in the future. Maybe I’ll get Charlie to let you babysit.” I smiled up at her. “I could probably do with the practice, now that I have a baby on the way.” “Are you still being careful out there? I don’t want you, or the baby, getting hurt whilst all this is going on.” “Liv… you worry too much, now get some sleep. I’ll check in on you in a while.” I smiled up at her and nodded as she closed the door. As soon as the door shut, I grabbed the sandwich and rabidly tore open the packaging, shoving the food into my mouth like I hadn’t eaten in days. Which… I genuinely can’t remember how long it had been. “Liv…” “Huh?” I replied, my eyes still firmly closed as I was curled up in the foetal position, the blanket wrapped around my body tightly. “Wake up, Liv…” “Jus… ten more minutes…” I mumbled out loud. “Liv… wake up!” “Huh… wha?” I asked as I shot out of my sleepy haze and the world started loading in around me. “Liv… it’s Charlie… she woke up!” Claire said, sitting at the end of my bed. “SHE WHAT?” I yelled, jumping up in bed so I was now upright. I felt a surge of relief flow through my body and an excitement I couldn’t hold in as the news that my wife had woken up triggered a burst of energy within me. “She’s still a bit out of it, but she’s slowly coming to.” “WHEN?” I said, diving out of bed and grabbing my shoes, pulling them closer so I could get them on and go. “A few minutes ago. Faith sent a message as soon as she could.” “I need to see her!” “And I’ll take you, but…” Claire sighed. And all of a sudden… that burst of energy had gone. If you follow good news with a ‘but’, it never ends well. Suddenly that excitement and energy… was replaced with fear and dread. “But what, Claire?” “You have a call…” She sounded nervous. “From who?” “...The Prime Minister.” “How did he…?” “We disabled the tracking in your phone, but we left it on in case they tried to contact you.” They had taken my phone from me shortly after I first arrived at LIBRA HQ, worried that as I’d be a priority target, I’d be tracked. I hadn’t known they’d kept it on the whole time. I bet I had loads of messages from friends and family worried about me days ago. At least Claire had the sense to go around and take our friends and family to safehouses, as the police would no doubt go for my parents, Charlie’s parents, my friends… basically anyone I had regular contact with. “What does he want?” “He wants… to speak to you.” “But Charlie…” “Can wait. She’s awake, but she’s still not herself.” “The hypnosis removal didn’t work?” “Oh it did… but she’s still in a bit of a daze. She’s been awake for literally minutes. So first, Prime Minister, then your wife.” “Fine. Let’s go see what that windbag wants to offer us…” ======================================================= If you haven't seen, I'm now up and running on Subscribestar! (Sorry for the reminder again, trying to get my subscribers back after the Patreon rubbish!) ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my patrons for their support over the past couple of years! Seriously, your support meant the world to me, and I hope to be set up somewhere new soon. New chapters of Little in Love 2 every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!
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  15. I'm going to over a different perspective and one that some people may not really like. What you described above to me is a big issue. Whether or not your partner has actively gone out an played with other people or not what he has done and is doing is emotional cheating. He is seeking to fulfill an emotional need behind your back and doing so by hiding things and lying. Diaper boys is quite literally primarily a hook up site and so the fact he is actively on it, with his profile set and written to meet people I think is very telling. Actions do speak louder than words. I understand when people say it's tough to be open or come out about thus but he didn't seem to have any issue doing it with other people. He also isn't just posting messages, he is posting images AND videos. Honestly, it sounds very much like he either has given in to his urges and played with others or he will do so in the future. Only you can decide what you are comfortable with but I know for me this kind if deception and breach of trust would be a massive issue.
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  16. There is none. You are putting your business in the street which makes it fair game for public comment and action. When this whole business came up before the courts 55 years ago. fetishes were ruled to be private sexual matters; i.e. between consenting adults behind closed doors and out of the public eye, which all but a tiny minority of backward Marjory Taylor Greene types agreed was fair enough and still do; and the lunatic fringe is still around. As the anti-drunk driving commercial used to say "Your lifestyle is your business, but when you take it on the road it's everybody's business" My own statement has been "If you put your bedroom in the public square, then you will have the public in your bedroom" Murphy is an opportunistic demon. If something can go wrong, it will, exposing you. There is diaper blowout, odor that you may be "nose blind" to or some other thing. That is why you cannot ask this question without bringing up "the debate". This brings in the issue of non-consenting adults and children. Also, the Dobbs decision, which did the "unthinkable" has a good chance of creating an atmosphere where the other gains may be rolled back and this kind of thing would provoke that: "if you do not respect the privacy of others, we will take yours away", which is perfectly just: Especially in a democracy where "majority rule" is the order of things; just ask Socrates. This ruins it for the rest of us who play by the rules, making us all look like self-absorbed Narcissists, which we need like a hole in the head. Just don't
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  17. Hello! I'm looking for someone who loves the idea of taking a guy and slowly regressing them to being a little one for them. typical, I know. I love that whole idea, the thought of someone being very subtle and easing me into being their ideal baby sounds wonderfully cute. I'm super needy right now and would love to have someone to play with and just make them feel special like they'd make me. feel free to send me a message
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  18. I'd love to play such a thing! You may read the rp I have going with padded princess, it's similar to what you're looking for I think!
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  19. Lila on a family vacation This started as an English writing - training project for me. I have to give credit to the original Story “Lila’s family vacation” from Reatykeuniverse for the idea, the plot, and the beautiful name Lila that I used as a starting point. The first chapters are more like a close-bound rewrite with a lot of added sections in the middle, while the later parts just stick to the basic plot and do not have a lot in common with the original. This is the first part (apx. 6000 words) of the story that is already finished and has apx. 46000 words. While correcting takes a lot of effort for me due to my problem with reading and seeing spelling errors, it will take about two weeks to finish a chapter. So please be patient, I will try my best not to keep you waiting. Even though this is not my first story, I do a lot of writing in German, but it is my first story in English. I put a lot of effort into correcting all the grammar and spelling errors and hope there are not too many left to spoil your reading experience. I welcome any constructive feedback on my writing style, grammar and spelling, but please add as much information as possible, so I can improve. And I would also love to hear if you liked the story. If you want to know more, I just opened an intro thread in the nursery Annie's Intro ### Chapter 1 - Traveling - Discover what seemed to be lost. "Mum really, why do I have to wear diapers again?", complained Lila. "Hey honey, we are never going to force it if you don't want to," replied her mum Maria, "but you always wore them for the last years on our vacations, and it always made our trips a lot less stressful, for all of us?” She struggled with her decision while her mum placed the bag on her bed. This bag was clearly designed to appeal to a nurse in a retirement home and did not charm the little girl into the decision to wear them on the trip. As Lila stared at the colorful sheets of her bed, she felt the conflict in her. She was not eager to wear anything other than her panties. And all of her classmates in school would surely throw such a big tantrum that her parents would not dare to mention these diapers ever again. On the other hand, her mum was right, she wet the bed at least sometimes, and for some seconds she remembered how this unusual habit started for the now teenage girl. Whenever her parents could get some days off work, the family went on a trip together, and her mum used to put her girl in pull-ups just before they were leaving. All this started when Lila had a wetting accident when the family was on a city trip to Berlin when she was seven. It was the first year when she finally managed to stay dry during the day and at the packed museum, the line to the toilet was way too long for the young girl to hold it. Lila was in tears and did not want to leave the bathroom anymore, and her mum needed all her mummy magic to cheer the little girl up and get her ready for the rest of her day. To protect her from embarrassing accidents and to make it easier for her child, Lila, and her parents decided to keep her in the pull-ups she still wore for bed-wetting just in case during the day for the rest of the city trip. This worked so well that from there onwards, it became a secret family tradition for the little girl to be in pull-ups whenever they went on a vacation. In all those years, Lila didn't mind wearing pull-ups on occasions like this. She still wore them to bed at night, and wearing them on vacations during the day gave her back some kind of security. She even peed in them when she did not want to rush to the next restroom or was on the road. But now she is thirteen! Nearly a grownup woman in her eyes. And to her dismay, her mum got her tape diapers designed for a senile granny, instead of the slightly embarrassing but at least funny-looking pull-ups. Furthermore, she could slide down these bed-wetter's pants easily on her own when she headed to the bathroom. Lila had indeed outgrown her pull-ups, they did not fit her properly and on the rare occasions she wet the bed they hardly prevented the wet stains on the sheets. So the last time she'd worn them on a trip, her mom had decided to switch to diapers when she was not sleeping on her well-protected bed at home. While she still stared at the bag, Lila was obviously hesitant to wear ugly full-tape diapers, especially at her age. But after recalling her last wet night which was not even one week ago and that she probably would sleep on the plane, she ultimately decided to go with the diapers, just to be safe. "Fine..." she gave in, still trying to look serious, "But this is the last time I swear, and it will be just for the flights and when I sleep!" "You are such a responsible girl.", Maria praised her daughter, leaving her confused about what could be responsible in using diapers. "Please lie down, honey. So we get your diaper on you." Still, in her thoughts, Lila was obeying Mom's instructions sheepishly, took off her skirt and underwear, and laid herself on the soft bed while she noticed the crinkling of her mattress protector as she squirmed and twisted. "Can you put your bottoms up, please." her Mom patiently asked, not wanting to embarrass her girl more than necessary by just lifting her legs with her arms. And she unfolded a plain white fabric and laid it under her daughter's bum. Lila was weirdly feeling comfortable as she put some cream and powder on her before she taped the diaper in place and adjusted the leak guards. "We're all done, and you are ready for your vacation!" Her mum smiled at her. "Do you want to check that you have everything, we have to leave in fifteen minutes." ### Lila was in her thoughts for most of their trip to the airport. And when they arrived, Mum even needed to hold her hand because she was still daydreaming. However she looked at it, the diaper that she wore did not feel uncomfortable. She even liked the soft material that hugged her and that was wiping away all her worries. With the ease of her mind, she dreamed about all her past vacations where she was young and free. In retrospect, she had a really great childhood. Her parents were always there for Lila, and one of the reasons why she did not mind wearing her Pull-Ups in the past was that her parents did not make a big thing out of it when she had a small uppsie accident in them. After the family got their baggage checked in, they still had time to spare before heading for the gate, so they sat on one of the benches to wait and relax. Lila was exhausted from walking through the endless corridors and for a brief moment wanted to sit on her mom's lap as she did countless times in the past, but instead, she sat next to her, suddenly feeling her need to pee. "Mom," she secretly whispered, mindful that they were in a crowded airport, "I need to pee really urgently." “Oh, right now, can't you hold in any longer?” she replied searching for a bathroom while only seeing a corridor packed with endless shops offering their expensive and often useless duty-free stuff. As a young preteen child, Lila didn't mind using her pull-ups, especially when there was no clean bathroom nearby. She leaned on Mum's side, trying to get comfortable with all the people around. “This was much easier on our last trip”, she commented with a sigh. At the same time, she was getting ready to accept her daughter's wish to head to the bathroom whenever possible. “No mummy, I don't want to, my feet are hurting!”, Lila confessed. Wishing she had not protested against her parent's request for her to be diapered and unaware that her mum now could easily read the trouble of her little girl's mind like an open book "You know, I don't mind if you use your diaper, honey. I am sure it will hold up fine.", her mom carefully suggested, while at the same time easing her girl with her hand. For some seconds, Lila thought about that option out of her dilemma. Her parents put her in actual diapers, and that is what they are for, aren't they? Vaguely, she remembered the moon and the stars that promised a dry night on the package. It would soak up everything, she assured herself, while on the other hand remembering the good old days when she just peed in the pull-ups whenever she had to go. Once, she nearly let her mum talk her into going poopy, because they were in a subway with no bathrooms available. On that occasion, she finally made it to a stinky metro bathroom, and she also remembered that she wished she had any other option as it was so gross and dirty. However, this was completely different in her eyes. She just wet the bed in her sleep and the toilet was surely just a short distance away and perhaps most importantly, even when she was small for her age she was a teeny now. Her mum noticed the still ongoing fight in her girl's mind. “Don't worry, little one. Just go pee if you need to, that is what you wear them for. And it will be our secret, I promise”, she heard her mother, laying her arm on her daughter's shoulder. Was it really so strange for her to wet her diaper, she questioned her belief. Her mum just had given Lila permission to use it when she needed to pee. And the diaper felt so soft and comfy, it could not be that bad, could it? First slightly squirming, Lila tried to release the pressure on her bladder, but it was quite difficult to do so deliberately, especially sitting on a bench in a crowded airport. This time she obviously pushed, pressing her eyes together as she slowly was able to squeeze out a few drops. “It is quite hard if you are not used to it, do you want to sit with me, it makes it easier.”, her mum promised. Lila switched over to the welcoming lap, suddenly noticing the difference. Without the hard surface she was sitting on, the next push gradually grew into a steady flow, making her crotch warm and squishy for a second. She hardly could stop peeing until her need was gone, and she felt dry and comfy again. Mom had taken notice of the growing warmth on her lap and had figured out what was happening. "Are you done wetting?" she asked with a motherly smile. Still a little embarrassed but glad she had the urgent need off her mind, Lila nodded in response. "The shop assistant assured me, it will keep you dry even if you have to go pee another time. But are you still feeling comfy and dry?" asked her worried Mom as discreetly as possible. For a second she forgot she was in public, squeezing her thighs together and checking the now not-too-obvious bulge between her legs. Not bad she had to admit, it was warm and still soft but not wet as her old pull-up would have been. "I'm good.", said Lila as she decided to not switch back to her own seat and was slightly thankful that her mum talked her into wearing a diaper again. Actually, Lila thought the warm feeling of her wet diaper was quite pleasant. She could tell that she had peed quite a bit into her babyish underwear, but these diapers were more absorbent than her old bed-wetters pants, and they could definitely hold a lot more. Maybe she was hesitant when arguing that she did not need the diapers on the trip. And she had to admit that wetting herself was still a big stress relief for her on this busy transit through the airports. As the minutes passed, their flight was announced over the speakers and Lila's family made their way to the crowded boarding gate. “You should finish your bottle”, her dad reminded her about the half a liter of sparkling water in her hands. Lila took a sip, as she noticed she had to pee again. I am already wet, she thought and as she only pushed a little, she was surprised how easily she started wetting. “Lila, we better change your diaper before we board the plane, don't we honey?”, suggested her Mom, as she spotted a toilet with a baby changing symbol added to the women’s bathroom. “You know, having to change your diaper on the plane would be a nightmare and very obvious.” Without trusting her diaper too much, she agreed with Mom that a change in the plane would be better avoided. After placing their bags with Dad, Mom took Lila to the toilet. There was a changing table, but it was just made to change a baby, and it was way too small to accommodate Lila. But upmost importantly, it would have been incredibly embarrassing for the small but still teenage girl, so instead they headed to one of the empty stalls together. Her Mom shut the door, “Can you lift your skirt for me, please.” Lila shyly raised her skirt, revealing the yellow-tainted diaper. “It was a good decision we switched you to diapers”, explained Mom, as she removed the tapes, letting the sodden diaper suddenly fall on the floor with a ‘plop’. “Your pull-ups would have been leaking long ago”, she concluded. “Now, do you still need to go potty?” Yes, Lila did feel a very light need to go, but using her diaper was not as bad as she thought, and she slowly began to regret that she was so determined to not use them on the trip. At least she could be using them on the flight and avoid the smelly dirty places they surely used as toilets here as well, she was making her decision. “No, I’m fine, Mom.”, Lila replied as she remembered how disgusting the toilets in public always were. “Sure honey.”, her mum smiled again. She cleaned her darling with a couple of quick wipes, unfolded the fresh diaper, and taped it on her daughter as if she never stopped doing it. Lila let go of her skirt and enjoyed the dryness of her underwear for a second. A wet diaper did not feel uncomfortable at all, but the feeling of a fresh and clean one felt pretty nice as well. “Let's go on a vacation” her Mom cheered, as she rolled up her sodden diaper, throwing it in the bin. While Lila was in a daydream about what just happened, she stepped out of the stall and followed her Mom. ### “Honey, good morning, we have just landed.” whispered her Mom as she gently kissed Lila awake. Opening her eyes, the girl slowly began to sit upright, rubbing all the sleepiness out of her face while stretching her legs. Yes, it was a good flight, she loved the thrill of takeoff and enjoyed the view over the clouds while she was taking advantage of the drinks and snacks they delivered. Eventually, all her adventures of the day caught up with the young girl, and she had fallen asleep with a smile for the rest of her flight. Now, as she stretched and wanted to get up, she noticed the slightly damp and warm feeling in her crotch. She indeed used her diapers two times on the transit when she had to go, and she was glad that Mum had not said a word about the not-too-small amount of soda that she downed. Feeling awake and ready to explore now, Lila glanced around the plane, noticing that most of the passengers had already disembarked and were on their way to the luggage claim. She did not want to wait any longer, as her dad was busy getting their bags from the overhead compartment. And in a moment her daughter was up on her feed waiting for her day bag and ready to start their vacation. As she was on her feet, she noticed her soaked diaper sag a little and the bulge between her legs was quite visible now if you knew it was there. She checked the back of her skirt for leaks and surely was relieved that everything still was dry For a second she wondered, whenever she had used her pull-ups it never felt this heavy. But this diaper had kept her dry and could handle a lot more than her old bed-wetters pants. As they followed all the signs to the baggage claim, Lila's belly started to feel uncomfortable, and she eventually had to go to the bathroom soon. Seeing that her parents were in a bit of a rush, she paid no mind to the ache and focused on keeping up with their pace. After arriving at the baggage claim, Lila went to grab a trolley while Mom and Dad waited at the conveyor belt for their bags. She pushed the trolley forward and joyfully jumped while rolling with it for some meters when she noticed the need to go suddenly coming back. But her parents looked so busy in the hustle and bustle of the airport, and she did not dare to raise her voice. Obviously, her only option was to tell Mom to take her diaper off for her to go to the restroom. But as she thought about that stinky room, she got a slight feeling of nausea in her throat. Actually peeing in the diapers saved her from this unpleasant experience on the transit through the airports. And now that she realized that this need would not be solved in such a quick but also childish and embarrassing manner, the worries that were so distant returned. Her mum sometimes offered her to just go when she was at the edge of having an accident and even if that was some years ago, she had to admit that her current underwear was made with that kind of accident in mind. And she even wore full tape-on diapers and was not in pull-ups now. Little kids and Babies do that all the time, don't they? She even remembered the adults talking about kids on the edge of potty training, just putting a diaper on when they needed to poop. It cannot be that uncomfortable. She was wondering what it would be like to go poopy in her diaper. And while the idea settled into her mind, she even got a little curious about how it would feel. Suddenly the need to go returned. Lila was sure she would not be able to hold back much longer as she squirmed and wiggled, hoping her need just would go away. “Lila, you look so worried. What's up?” she suddenly approached her little girl who was obviously feeling uncomfortable. “I... I am fine. It is just I may need to go to the bathroom a little longer really soon.”, she admitted sheepishly. “I can go to the toilet with you after we get our bags, in about five minutes, can you still wait for so long?” she explained, not realizing that her girl was on the edge of losing the battle against her belly. Lila put her hand on her tummy and felt the growing need to go now. Slowly shaking her head, she looked at her as she always did when she desperately wanted her help. “Can’t you come with me, so we can go now.”, she asked shyly, not willing to let her mum go and signaling that she might not be able to go on her own. “No baby, Bernhard needs my help, we cannot leave right now. ... So if you really need to go so urgently, I wouldn’t mind you using your diaper for poop as well. It's just a short trip to our hotel and I can change you when we get there easily.”, she told her and stroked her back as she always did when she was uncomfortable or stressed. Her mum just suggested that she should poop in her ‘just in case’ diaper. This was so embarrassing was her first thought, but after some moments she realized it would finally take the ache from her. And while everyone else would have ditched the proposal, for Lila it calmed her dilemma and even made her a little curious. Peeing in the diaper was such a relief, so pooping herself could not be so bad after all? She assumed in her mind. She smiled in Lila's face. “I really don't mind if you need to. You don't have to fight that hard.”, she tried to ease away the little girl's resistance. Maybe using it was the best option for her. As embarrassing as it was to admit, the thought of doing that with her mum’s consent made her feel loved and protected as if nothing could harm her. So Lila started wondering what it would feel like to actually do the other thing as well. With a sigh, Lila decided she wanted to try it, at least once. And this time she had a good excuse. Her parents had no time to accompany her, and she would not dare to go into the toilet alone, which could potentially be gross, dirty, and scary with all the unfamiliar people around. Even the idea of facing all the looks of strangers, the smells and flushing sounds without someone she knew close made her confident about her decision. “I think I'll use my ... you know, Mommy.”, Lila whispered, embarrassed and felt like a loved little girl while her mommy protected her. “It's ok you will feel much better”, she heard her say as Mom smiled and nodded, and joined Dad at the conveyor belt, leaving Lila some meters away waiting with their trolley. Lila tried to let it go, like she did when she needed to pee on the plane. But the ache in her belly just intensified further, and she couldn’t help but feel self-conscious. After all, pooping herself was a lot more … involving than peeing. As she looked up again, she noticed all the adults were just staring where their luggage would appear. Surely no one would pay any attention to her, except for mum and dad of course. With that in mind, Lila leaned a little bit forward, resting some of her weight on the trolley. She relaxed her hold on her bowels and gave another slight push. A small trickle of pee released first before a tiny bit of her mess began making its way out. It cannot be that hard, Lila wondered, as she saw a little baby boy standing with his legs slightly apart, clearly doing his business in his pants. He does not care at all that he was messing his diaper. She felt the pressure in her belly coming back and also slightly spread her legs apart as she started to push. This time there wasn’t resistance in her tummy. Lila could feel the warmth quickly spreading as sticky poop squished against her bum. In relief, she exhaled and felt the load settle itself at the back of her diaper. Lila felt her belly relaxing a little. She now just wanted to feel comfortable again and all this nasty stuff out of her tummy. Once again she pushed a little harder, this time, and a few seconds later she was confident she had gotten everything out, while she realized that the feeling of pooping herself was much different from just wetting. While the diaper would quickly absorb all her pee, the poop had instead formed a slightly warm mess at the back of her diaper. However, she felt that it was actually quite pleasant and didn't feel bad at all. And it’s at least much better than having to use an icky, stinky restroom. Lila assured herself. She shook herself and pretended to smooth out the back of her skirt, carefully placing her hand on the diaper to make sure it was not too obvious as she was still in public. And she noticed the diaper was heavier now, and the sag kept most of her firm mess away from the childlike-looking girl's skin. For a second she smelled a faint lingering odor of poop. But she looked old enough that no one would expect it to be her who is poopy. Lila raised her head and saw her Mum looking over at her while she was still standing here doing her business as the little baby boy did just some moments ago. She noticed the kind smile on mummy's face as she turned back, helping dad take a heavy bag off. Mum knows, flashed to her mind as she wanted to be back with her parents. Lila slowly walked towards the conveyor belt to join them again. Somehow she wanted to tell them that she was messy, but it was much too embarrassing and babyish for her to admit. What will my daddy think of me just going in my diaper for that as well? The slight scent, however, told her parents anyway as she was approaching them. As Bernhard had picked up all their bags he sniffed and, with a knowing gaze, took Lila by her hand as he had not done for some years. “Let's get our car and finally head to the hotel.”, he said, willingly ignoring what his child just did and as if he was telling her everything was ok Lila was glad she was not alone anymore. She followed Dad and also stayed close to him while they were standing in the car rental pickup line. Standing in line, her mom decided that it was a good time to do a quick diaper check. She tried to pull on Lila's back of her pants, when her daughter quickly turned away and leaned closer to dad “Mom!” she exclaimed, “people are going to see!” “Don’t worry, no one’s going to think badly of you. And I just have to make sure that your diaper was holding up after your accident. You don't want to have a messy leak in the rental car after all. So do you let me check your diaper?” replied Mom with a loving smile while she did not even bother to lower her voice. “Mum ... !“, Lila tried to make a futile argument, while her dad just looked her in the eyes. “Really baby. No one knows you here, so it’s okay you don't need to feel ashamed about accidents while using diapers for traveling.” he underlined Mum's argument. The girl was really embarrassed now and hid her face in her dad's shirt. Lila felt loved, and she trusted her parents, but at the same time, she felt like a small toddler being checked for a messy accident. “I will have a short look.", her mum announced once more. Lila just moved her head in approval, while she felt her mum touch her bum and felt a tiny pull at her waistband and the back of her diaper. “You will be fine for now.”, she announced after a second. Getting her diaper checked by Mom was embarrassing, not only because they were in public, but also because it was their parent’s proof that she had indeed messed herself. Oh well, thought Lila. Her parents had surely smelled it already, and they would see it when she was in the hotel room. Dad hurried away with the clerk from the rental company and got over to the pick-up point. The mother and daughter couple patiently waited outside, where the company put some benches for all the waiting customers. With all the arriving passengers, nearly all seats were taken, and her mum just got the last free spot. “Do you like to sit on my lap again?”, she offered her girl, as she knew her feet were hurting after the long day of traveling. “But I have just...”, Lila stumbled as discreetly as she could, while at the same time she could not confess that she had a messy load in her diaper. “I am your mum, I don't mind your little skunky bum, and I have seen and changed you a lot in the past years”, she calmed her down, while not even confirming that this accident was a one-time ever event for her childlike small but already teenage daughter. Lila slowly sat on her mom's lap, while the strange feeling of the soft mess now spread all over her boom, confused her senses and created the strong childish need to cuddle with her mum. As her mum wrapped her loving arms around her, she no longer could stand being the independent teeny anymore but hid her face on mum's shoulder, ignoring what she might look like. Feeling her body so close and being loved by her mum was all she needed to leave her grumpy teenage thoughts behind. “Hi, you sleepy head, you have a really comfortable seat don't you”, her dad greeted her daughter as he arrived with their rental car and took their heavy luggage into the trunk. “Yes Daddy”, she cheered, not yet ready to let Mum go. “Lila is so sweet and affectionate today.”, her mother responded. “Do you want to cuddle your daddy too?”, the man offered his darling a chance to leave her mom's lap. She hugged him, still experiencing the irresistible childlike love for her parents. As if her dad had been on a week-long business trip, she now was clamping on him, even not letting him go as he lifted her up as a little girl. “We had a small issue with the car arrangement.”, the strong man on her shoulder, told his wife. “They did not have a booster for our Lila. The only possibility was the safer but more expensive child seat option for younger ones, but at least they did not charge us extra.” Feeling so much love from him, the girl could not protest, but she still didn't want it to be too childish. “What kind of child seat?”, she found the courage to ask, interrupting her parent's discussion. “Oh, it is a nice one in a purplish red color”, he advertised. Without dropping his girl to the ground, he took her over to the backseats of the car, opening the door and revealing a full-sized seat that even had shoulder straps as a seat for a rally driver. First, she wanted to protest that she was not a baby, but then the love from her parents and the comfortable hug lulled her into thinking twice about it. Wasn't her diaper the same thing, something childish, that could actually feel nice and comfortable? “Oh I am sure you are in for trouble”, his wife commented on the seat that her husband had chosen, remembering all the discussions she had with her daughter in the past weeks. Lila did not want to be a grumpy vacation Grinch, and maybe she also wanted to show her mum that she was wrong. “It is ok, at least we will have one, and we can enjoy our time here.” Her teenage side enjoyed the surprised feeling on her mum's face. “I think our big girl is not as grumpy and cranky as you think. Can I let you down to try it? It may be a little difficult with the buckles.” “But Daddy, I still want to cuddle with you.”, she confessed that the child in her was back in command. Slightly caught off guard, he whispered, “Do you mind if I tuck you in?”, he suggested, remembering the countless times that he placed his sleepy or sad daughter in the back of their car. “Yes Daddy” she mumbled while the only important thing was that he did not let her down on the hot and hard street. With some well-trained moves, he opened the door and let her slip on the seat. Without thinking, she put her hands in the shoulder straps and let him close the buckle with a click. Lila wiggled a little And while she noticed the lack of space to move, she somehow also felt comfortable. She liked the soft fabric and the small pillow that was there for her head. “I like it”, she confirmed again. And as the adults smiled a little, she added, “Just don't make me use it at home when my classmates see me. Ok?” The two adults, who were still astonished by the change in her teenage girl’s temper, got in at the front. With the push of a button, they opened the window a bit to let in the fresh summer vibes and to keep Lila's poopy smell at bay that still kind of lingered around her. As the drive was getting boring, she had time to think about all the things that changed while they left their city apartment. Most of all was that she, despite all her doubts, actually liked her diapers and the freedom she had to pee or even poop whenever she needed. But there was also the trust and love for her parents that was crowing again, as if her puberty had never sent the first confusing ideas in her mind. Making her more cranky than she actually wanted to be. ### Excited about the new place, Lila jumped on the queen-size bed in their hotel room. Her parents had just checked themselves in at the reception, and the young girl could not wait to explore everything the place had to offer. There were so many nice things she could think about that she nearly forgot about her messy diaper, that she still wore under her slightly childlike shorts. Mom had started unpacking all their bags, while her Dad headed down to the lobby, surely parking their car in the hotel's parking garage. As the last empty bag was packed away, her Mom looked at her girl. Lila was lying on the bed, checking out the kid's channels on TV while thinking about the hotel pool and the waterslides that they had here. The last things that Mom left on the bed were Lila's old travel changing mat and a fresh pack of wipes. “Honey, come, let us get that poopy diaper of yours changed.” Mom announced as she placed the mat and her wipes next to her on the bed. “Can you lift your tushie for a moment, baby?” “I am not a baby” she insisted, ignoring the obvious smell and still letting her mum slide the changing pad up under her back. Then she raised her skirt over her belly. With her hand, she signaled her girl, that she could lie back down Lila could feel the soft but water-impermeable layer around her changing area and noticed that she was indeed acting as if she was a baby girl. And while noticing that, she became a lot more self-conscious about the embarrassing thing she did. “Mom you know, I think I have to clean that up by myself.” offered Lila embarrassed, and at the same time she simply wanted to vanish into thin air. But still, she trusted her mum that she would not leave her alone with all the mess she had in her diaper. Maria placed her hand on her kid's belly, “I will do that, honey. I promised that when I told you to go poopy.” replied Mom. “Besides, when you were a baby, I’ve changed your poopy diapers a ton of times, and I really don't mind doing it again today.” Lila relaxed as she heard that, she relented in relief and slowly spread her legs, making it at least as easy as possible for her Mom. “Oh, this diaper is full.” giggled Mom as she opened the tapes, revealing the mess on her booty. “I am sorry. Your mummy should have changed your way earlier. This must have been very uncomfortable.” “It was not that bad, Mom, I nearly forgot about that after some moments.”, replied Lila honestly. “You know actually ...“, she continued, before her embarrassment suddenly stopped her. “Actually, ...?” continued her Mom, as she softly began wiping down Lila’s messy tushie. “It’s just… I don't know, it made the trip much easier for me and I kind of liked it a little, I guess…” stumbled Lila. “And I really hate to go to the smelly bathrooms. In my diapers I felt so loved and protected as if I am still your little child.”, she confessed. “You are always my child and I love you.”, she told Lila and Mom continued wiping in silence as the young girl enjoyed the feeling of the cold, soothing wipe gently rubbing against her skin while being so close to her mum. As Maria rolled up the dirty diaper, she kissed her belly. “You are all clean now.” exclaimed her mom, waiting for a second to see if she would stand up to get her panties on. But as the moments passed, it was clear that there was more Lila wanted from her. And with a sarcastically strict voice, she said, “Now, we have something to discuss, my little one. You know, I used to insist that you wear pull-ups in the past because I didn’t want you stressing about having an accident, especially since you wet the bed pretty often.” She paused for a second to see Lila’s reaction and when there was no sign of refusal she continued, “Today I promised you that you could switch back to wearing undies this year. But, you had accidents in them a lot today, and you told me you also liked the security and comfort that they gave you. So I thought we might as well keep you in diapers like what we’ve always done, or do you really want to switch back to underwear right now and just wear them as bed-wetting briefs at night?” Mom’s question surprised Lila. She did enjoy her diapers a little on the trip, and she just told her that it was comfy and made her feel protected and small. She now regretted her strong refusal. And while her pride as a teenager was on the line, she truthfully did want to be diapered again. “Do you mind if I choose the diapers?”, confessed Lila with her face red like a tomato... “Of course not, my girl. I think those will give you a much more relaxed vacation if you don't have to worry about bed-wetting when you are tired.”, said Mom, who then went to grab some fresh diapers and powder from the closet. “But how can I go to the bathroom and pee when I wear them, I mean they are real diapers and not just pull-ups” the girl wondered as she felt the soft fabric under her bum. “Oh.” Her mum replied, “I really don't mind you using them when you need to go, and if we have a toilet close by you just come with me and I help you to get to the potty” Gently, she fluffed up another plain white diaper, placed it under her booty, and sprinkled a little bit of powder. After checking the alignment was right and nothing was too tight, she taped the diaper in place and carefully adjusted the leak guards, as Lila rolled over at her belly and giggled. “You are done, baby”, she said as she gave the diaper a gentle pat “Could you tell me when you need a change.” her mum reminded her of their mutual agreement that they had on their previous trips. “Okay.” nodded Lila. The little girl somehow was conflicted. Wearing a diaper, wetting and pooping in it was surely supposed to have been so shameful. Especially for a young woman her age, but at the same time, she didn’t mind the strange feeling at all. And getting her diaper changed by her mom was supposed to be extremely embarrassing at thirteen. But for her, it was different. It felt somewhat nice. She felt like a loved child and enjoyed the childish affection and trust, she experienced while returning into this nearly lost stage of their mummy-daughter relationship.
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  20. Hello DailyDiapers I’m looking to get together a couple of roleplays if people around here are interested. I am a Mommy leaning switch so would be open to both roles but I’m more comfortable with Mommy. This isn’t necessarily a completely sexual fetish for me so while I’m open to sexual components I’m also happy with none. My main interest is the AB side so I don’t really have interest in doing a scene that is heavily BDSM/DL themed. I'm open to playing with any genders however if it's a rare role where I'm the submissive I prefer submitting to Mommy characters. What a I look for is someone capable of a robust storyline, I don’t expect novel length answers but a couple of lines with something more to play off other than just blushing and wetting. I can do forced, I can do sweet and nurturing whatever base we have or a story if your interested send me a message.
    1 point
  21. I never release a scene until I am at least six chapters farther along. This allows you to revise content for next week on the basis of what you know is coming more than a month out (assuming weekly production). A lot of stories around here have died because the author painted her/himself into a narrative corner, from which there was no escape.
    1 point
  22. Chapter 9 --- For a moment, nobody moved, the shock of the revelation freezing them in place. Sarah's oversized sleep shirt had ridden up in the night, revealing the unmistakable bulk of her diaper around her waist. Her pajama pants, loosened by her tossing and turning, had slipped down to her hips, the white plastic of the diaper peeking out in stark contrast to her skin. Kate was in a similar state of disarray, her own diaper on full display as her shirt bunched around her ribs. The girls stared at each other, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as the realization of their shared secret sank in. And then, as if on cue, they both burst out laughing, the absurdity of the situation crashing over them in a wave of giddy relief. Lucky, startled by the sudden noise, leapt off the bed and scampered out of the room, his tail wagging in confusion. "I can't believe-" Sarah gasped, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, "-all this time, we were both-" "-wearing diapers!" Kate finished, her own laughter bordering on hysterical. "I thought I was going to explode, trying to keep it a secret!" They collapsed against each other, giggling and hiccuping as the tension of the past 12 hours drained away. In the light of day, the fears that had seemed so overwhelming now felt silly, almost ridiculous. "I guess we had more in common than we thought," Sarah said, once they had caught their breath. She gestured ruefully to her exposed diaper, the fabric clinging heavily to her skin. As the laughter finally subsided, Sarah became aware of the insistent throbbing of her bladder once again. She squirmed uncomfortably, the urge to release her pent-up pee growing stronger by the second. Kate noticed her fidgeting and raised an eyebrow, a knowing look in her eye. "You too, huh?" Sarah nodded, biting her lip as she fought to maintain control. "I thought I was going to burst earlier, trying to hold it in without you noticing." Kate let out a rueful chuckle. "Same here. I guess these diapers are good for more than just nighttime accidents." They shared a look of understanding, the unspoken agreement hanging in the air between them. After all the stress and secrecy of the past 12 hours, there was something oddly freeing about being able to let go - both literally and figuratively. "On three?" Kate suggested, a mischievous glint in her eye. Sarah hesitated, then seeing Kate’s excitement, agreed, shifting into a more comfortable position. Kate counted. "One... two..." By the time she reached "three", the room was filled with the soft hissing sound of simultaneous relief, the girls' giggles mixing with sighs of contentment as their overfull bladders finally emptied. It should have felt strange, or embarrassing, peeing in front of each other like this. But somehow, in the context of their newfound camaraderie, it just felt like another part of the journey - a shared experience that brought them closer together. When they were finished, Sarah flopped back against the pillows, a silly smile on her face. "Well, that's one way to wake up.” Kate snorted, tossing a stuffed animal at her head. "Pee pals for life!" They dissolved into giggles again, the easy banter a welcome release after the tension of the night before. In the light of day, the fears that had seemed so overwhelming now felt manageable, even laughable. Giggling over, Sarah and Kate found themselves settling into a comfortable silence, the weight of their shared secret no longer pressing down on them. They sat cross-legged on the bed, facing each other, the diapers crinkling softly beneath them. "So..." Kate began, picking at a loose thread on the comforter. "How long have you been dealing with...you know...all this?" Sarah shrugged, a wry smile tugging at her lips. "The bedwetting? As long as I can remember. But the diapers are a more recent thing. My mom suggested them a few months ago, when the pull-ups stopped cutting it." Kate nodded, a rush of empathy welling up in her chest. "I’ve always wet the bed. I tried pull-ups once but they leaked. Diapers work better. No leaks.” Sarah blinked, her eyes suspiciously shiny. "I know it doesn’t make me a baby. But it's hard to remember sometimes, when I'm lying in a wet diaper in the middle of the night." "I get it," Sarah said, squeezing Kate's knee gently. "But the diapers are comfortable, and dry sheets are better than wet.” "It helps me to remember that I'm not alone," Sarah said simply. "That there are other kids out there dealing with the same thing, even if I didn't know who they were. And now...now I have you." Kate's smile was genuine. "Diaper buddies for life, right?" "Diaper buddies for life," Sarah confirmed, holding out her pinky once again. Just as they were linking fingers, a soft knock sounded at the door. Kate's mom poked her head in, her eyes widening as she took in the scene before her. "Oh!" she said, her gaze darting between the girls and their exposed diapers. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." Kate flushed, but didn't make any move to cover herself. "It's okay, Mom. We were just...talking." Sarah nodded, feeling a strange sense of calm wash over her. "Kate and I have a lot in common, it turns out." Kate's mom's expression softened, a mixture of surprise and understanding flickering across her face. "I see. Well, I'm glad you girls have each other to lean on." She paused, seeming to choose her next words carefully. "I know this isn't an easy thing to deal with, for either of you. But I want you to know how proud I am of you both for facing it with such maturity and grace." Sarah felt her throat tighten, unexpected tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "Thank you," she managed, her voice barely above a whisper. Kate's mom smiled, her own eyes suspiciously bright. "You're welcome, sweetie. Now, how about we head downstairs for some breakfast? I think we could all use a little comfort food after the night we've had." The girls nodded eagerly, the promise of pancakes and syrup suddenly very appealing. As they clambered off the bed, Sarah felt a sudden rush of gratitude for the woman standing in front of her. She might not be Sarah's own mother, but in that moment, she felt like family all the same. Together, the three of them made their way downstairs, the scent of bacon and coffee wafting up to greet them. And as Sarah slid into her seat at the kitchen table, Kate by her side and a stack of fluffy pancakes in front of her, she couldn't help but feel like everything was going to be okay. As they dug into their pancakes, Sarah and Kate kept sneaking glances at each other's diapers, barely visible beneath the kitchen table. It was surreal, seeing the evidence of their shared secret out in the open like this. A part of Sarah kept expecting to wake up, to find that this whole morning had been a crazy dream. But then Kate would catch her eye, a shy smile tugging at her syrup-sticky lips, and Sarah would feel a rush of warmth in her chest. This was real. They were in this together, for better or worse. After breakfast, Kate's mom shooed them back upstairs to get cleaned up. "I'll help Kate with her diaper," she said, giving Sarah a gentle smile. "Why don't you go ahead and take care of yours, and then you girls can decide what you want to do today?" Sarah nodded, feeling a flicker of awkwardness at being reminded of her wet diaper. Yesterday, the thought of anyone seeing her in a diaper would have made her want to curl up and die of shame. But now, with Kate by her side, it all felt...different. Not easy, exactly, but less daunting somehow. As she reached for her clothes, Sarah's hand brushed against something crinkly at the bottom of her bag. She frowned, pulling out an extra diaper, the one her mom had packed "just in case." Kate’s eyes lit up when she saw the extra diaper. "I have an idea," she said, a mischievous grin tugging at her lips. "What if we wore diapers today? Not because we need them, but because we can. As a way to celebrate being diaper buddies." Sarah's eyes widened, surprise and nervousness dancing across her face. "I’m not sure - I only wear them at night." Kate, her eagerness showing, said, “But we’re diaper buddies, right? Please will you wear one?” Sarah, seeing her friend’s eagerness, took a deep breath in and agreed. They spread out a towel on the floor, giggling as they tried to figure out the logistics of diapering each other. Kate laid down first, goosebumps rising on her skin as Sarah awkwardly slid the diaper under her. "Okay, so I just...pull it up and tape it on, right?" Sarah asked, uncertainty and amusement warring in her voice. Kate propped herself up on her elbows, nodding encouragingly. "Yeah, that's what my mom does. Just make sure it's snug, but not too tight." Sarah bit her lip, concentrating as she brought the front of the diaper up between Kate's legs. She fumbled with the tapes, trying to get them positioned just right. "I don't think this is quite how it's supposed to go," she said, laughing nervously as the tapes refused to align. "It keeps slipping!" Kate dissolved into giggles, the absurdity of the situation hitting her all at once. "Maybe we should have paid more attention when our moms were doing this," she gasped out between peals of laughter. They tried again, with Kate attempting to diaper Sarah this time, but the results were even more lopsided and haphazard. They were both laughing so hard they could barely breathe, tears streaming down their faces. A knock at the door made them both freeze, eyes wide. "Girls?" Kate's mom called, her voice tinged with concern. "Is everything okay in there?" Kate and Sarah exchanged a panicked look, then collapsed into fresh giggles. "We're fine, Mom!" Kate managed to choke out. "We just...we need a little help." The door opened, revealing Kate's mom's puzzled face. She took in the scene before her - the girls sprawled on the floor, diapers askew and faces flushed with laughter - and understanding dawned in her eyes. "I see," she said, a slow smile spreading across her face. "Trying to diaper each other, are we?" Sarah blushed, but Kate nodded, grinning sheepishly. "We wanted to wear them today, since we’re diaper buddies. But it turns out we're not very good at putting them on." Kate's mom shook her head, chuckling softly. "Well, it's not as easy as it looks, is it? Here, why don't I give you a hand." With gentle, practiced moves, she fixed their lopsided diapers, making sure the tapes were securely fastened and the fit was comfortable. "There," she said, sitting back on her heels with a satisfied smile. "How does that feel?" Kate wriggled experimentally, marveling at the snug, comfortable fit. "Perfect," she said, grinning at Sarah. "Thanks, Mom." Kate's mom waved off the thanks, her eyes soft. "Anytime, girls. I'm just glad you have each other to lean on through all of this." As she left the room, Kate turned to Sarah, her face glowing with happiness. "Best diaper buddies ever?" she asked, holding out her pinky. Sarah, blushing, linked her pinky with Kate's, sealing the promise. "Best diaper buddies ever." And as they stood there, grinning at each other in their diapers, Sarah knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, they would face them together. *** As lunchtime approached, they heard the doorbell ring downstairs. "That must be my mom," Sarah said, feeling a sudden flutter of nervousness in her stomach. Kate squeezed her hand, a reassuring smile on her face. "Hey, it's going to be okay. Your mom loves you, no matter what." Sarah grinned, the butterflies in her stomach settling slightly. "You're right. Let's do this." They made their way downstairs, the crinkle of their diapers seeming unnaturally loud in the quiet house. Sarah's mom was waiting in the entryway, chatting with Kate's mom. "Hi, sweetie," she said, turning to greet Sarah with a smile. "Did you have a good time at your...sleepover?" Her voice trailed off as she took in the sight of Sarah, still clad in her pajama shirt and a very obvious diaper. Her eyes widened, flickering between Sarah and Kate in confusion. "Sarah? Why are you...I mean, are you still...?" Sarah took a deep breath, feeling Kate's steadying presence beside her. "Mom, I have something to tell you. Something amazing." And with that, the whole story came tumbling out. "Kate wears diapers too," Sarah said, her voice trembling with emotion. "We're diaper buddies,” Kate added, giggling. For a moment, Sarah's mom just stared at them, her expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a smile spread across her face, warm and bright. "Oh, girls," she said, pulling them both into a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you. I know how hard this has been, and I'm just...I'm so proud of you for facing it together." Sarah melted into the embrace, feeling a rush of love and gratitude wash over her. "Thanks, Mom," she whispered, her voice muffled against her mom's shoulder. "I couldn't have done it without you. Or Kate." As they separated, Sarah's mom turned to Kate, her eyes soft. "Thank you for being there for Sarah," she said simply. "Your friendship means the world to her, and to me." Kate ducked her head, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "Sarah's been there for me too," she said quietly. "We're in this together, no matter what." And as Sarah said her goodbyes she couldn't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world. She had a mom who loved her unconditionally, a best friend who understood her in a way no one else could, and a future that suddenly seemed a whole lot brighter. *** As Sarah and her mom drove home, the excitement of the sleepover still fizzing in Sarah's veins, she couldn't stop smiling. Her mom kept glancing over at her, eyes crinkled with affection and a hint of amusement. "So, you and Kate - diaper buddies, huh? What are the odds?" her mom marveled, shaking her head. Sarah giggled. "I know, right? It's like the universe wanted us to find each other." "Well, I'm glad you did," her mom said warmly. "Having a friend who truly gets it, who you don't have to hide from... that's special. I'm happy you have each other." Sarah sobered a bit, nodding. "Me too. I didn't realize how much I needed that until now. Keeping this secret from Kate, it was really weighing on me." Her mom reached over to squeeze her hand. "I can only imagine, sweetie. But I'm proud of you for being brave enough to open up to her when the time was right. That takes a lot of courage." Blinking back sudden tears, Sarah gave her mom a wobbly smile. "Thanks, Mom. For everything. I couldn't do this without you, you know." "Oh honey, you never have to. I'm here, no matter what - diapers, no diapers, I'm your number one fan," her mom said, eyes suspiciously misty. They shared a long look, the car filled with the warm weight of understanding. Then Sarah perked up, a thought occurring to her. "Oh! Speaking of Kate, when can she come over for a sleepover here?" Her mom grinned. "I think that can be arranged very soon. I'll call Kate's mom when we get home and sort out a date." "Yes!" Sarah bounced a little in excitement, her pajamas and diaper crinkling. She paused, glancing down at herself. “I do want to take this diaper off when we get home, though.” Her mom's gaze softened. "Of course, sweetie.” --- I have more planned for these characters, but that's what sequels are for, right? Although I'm still undecided calling it a sequel or continuing this story.
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  23. OK, there was a news article about schools locking up the bathrooms with cages and someone suggested it might make a good diaper story. Here's the beginning of one: Bob Dennis was at a loss for what to do. He was the assistant principal of a large high school, and he had perennial problems with the school bathrooms. During passing time, when the students were supposed to be using the bathrooms, he enlisted staff to keep an eye on things. He locked the newly installed cage-locked doors during class to secure the rooms. Students who had an urgent need to use the bathroom during class would often convince their teacher to write them a pass to the nurse. Occasionally, they would show up in the office asking to be let into a bathroom somewhere. In either case, someone, the nurse or other staff had to escort the child to an unlocked bathroom. It was not a workable solution. “Bob!,” the school nurse called out to him. “I need to talk to you.” “What now?” he thought to himself. He smiled. “Yes, Carol. What can I do for you?” “This whole bathroom plan is entirely unworkable. Plus, I’m worried about the health issues of kids not being able to relieve themselves when they need to.” Bob had heard this argument before. He threw up his hands. “I think I have a solution.” Bob’s outlook brightened. He was willing to try anything at this point. “You have them send any kid who can’t make it to the end of the period to me.” “I thought you didn’t want to play potty police,” Bob said. Those were the words she had used a few days earlier. “I have a new strategy. Once I deal with a student, I don’t think we’ll have further trouble with them.” “OK, explain it to me.” She did, and Bob had to agree that it could work. It was worth a try. -- Jimmy Green was a sophomore in high school. He was a smart kid and well-behaved. Not that he didn’t have an occasional run-in with school discipline. He was sitting in history class, listening to the teacher drone on and on. He became aware that he needed to pee. He raised his hand. The teacher looked up at him. “Can I have a pass?” Jimmy asked. “You’re supposed to deal with things on your own time,” the teacher countered. “I have to go.” The teacher sighed and scribbled out a pass form. Jimmy headed out of the room and stared at it. It was for the school nurse. He had heard that the nurse had a bathroom that kids had been using. On the way, he checked the regular bathrooms, and indeed, the metal gates were locked over the entrance. The nurse’s office would have to be. He entered the office and handed the pass to the nurse. “What is the matter?” the nurse asked. “I just need to use the bathroom,” he admitted. “Come this way,” she directed him into a small room with a cot. “Take your pants off and lie down.” He couldn’t figure out what this was about. Was she going to watch him pee? She was busying herself in the cabinet but dropped his pants and got on the cot. She came over and yanked down his underpants. In a few seconds, she had fastened something between his legs. “You can put your pants on and get back to class.” He stood up and then realized what it was—a diaper. They had to be kidding. “You can now use the diaper whenever you want. Get back to class.” He put his pants back on. And she wrote him another pass to go back. “Come back after school, and I’ll give you your panties back,” she said, dropping his underwear into a drawer. What could he do? This was very strange. He went back to class and sat down. As bad as he had to go, he couldn’t see doing it in the diaper. First, wetting himself wasn’t appealing, but even when he resigned himself to having to do so, he couldn’t get It started. Years of toilet training worked against him. Finally, he was able to pee. He felt the warmth spread across his crotch. He put his hand down, but the diaper soaked it up. He looked around to see if anybody was paying attention to what was happening, but they were all half asleep or watching the teacher. When the bell finally rang, he stood up. The now sodden diaper weighed heavily on his hips as he made his way to the next class. This was all too weird. The day droned on, and the final bell rang. He headed back to the nurse, who handed him a bag. It was way too heavy to be his underpants. “What’s this?” he asked. “Your panties are in there, but also, there are more diapers in there.” “More diapers?” “Yes, you’ll have to wear them to school from now on.” “For how long?” “Until you graduate. I’ve already called your mother to let her know.”
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  24. hmm.. Carly has 2 moms.. Is this where we find out Cameron is secretly his father? Cameron: Carly, I am your father. Beth and Carly: Nooooooooo…
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  25. No... Maybe...? 😈 That'll be mostly contained in the next chapter. I think it's a fun one! 🙂
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  26. Why the hell does Carly have nanites from Beth's father in her? And more importantly, which ones? The protective nanites from Stacy or the nanites he was supposed to get to become a baby? And that comment about Addi's mom didn't escape me. So she's still obnoxious. Well, if you don't learn from your mistakes, it's your own fault. I can understand Livy's fear that Beth is running around with a giant "adopt me" sign on her back because of her relationship with Carly herself. Oh, I'm so excited to see what happens next. But you know what the best part is? If you always update on Fridays and Sundays now? 07.04 is a Sunday and my birthday! That means I'll get a birthday chapter just like I did with "In Between". Oh, I remember the one from back then. There was Cameron at daycare after Addi adopted him, drinking this laxative and wearing this super awkward outfit. I can't wait to see what happens next and when Carly and Beth finally get adopted and breastfed by a good (bad) Amazon mommy. P.S. Congratulations on your anniversary.
    1 point
  27. Chapter 7: Bedwetters Six years ago The concept of bedwetting wasn’t something that had ever crossed my mind as a young kid. I had been dry at night nearly immediately after being toilet trained during the day. There wasn’t a distinction between being potty trained during the day or potty trained during the night. If someone was potty trained, that meant that they never wet their pants at all. Period. That changed when I learned my sister was a bedwetter. In retrospect, the signs of Grace’s bedwetting were practically everywhere. But when I was six years old, the idea of my older sister peeing in her sleep was so completely inconceivable that I would never have entertained it. All the indicators that Grace was a bedwetter went completely over my head. And, looking back at it, there were many. While the washing machine and dryer were inaudible from all the way up in my bedroom, the kitchen was close enough to the basement staircase that the rumbling sounds from either machine could be heard every morning during breakfast. The distant sound of laundry tumbling in the dryer was a consistent part of the background noise in the house as I ate my regular breakfast of cereal. But I didn’t think anything of it as I munched on my Captain Crunch pieces. I was more concerned with making sure I ate them before they got soggy than anything else that was going on around me. Besides, I hadn’t known a time when the dryer wasn’t turned on around the time that I was eating breakfast, so I paid it no more heed than to the sound of Dad watching the morning news in the other room or Mom scurrying about the kitchen, prepping our lunches to take to school. A family of four shouldn’t produce so much laundry that the dryer would need to be run every day. But that wasn’t something I’d have considered at that age. The dryer simply ran nearly every morning, and that was that. If I had paid attention, I would have been tipped off by the times Grace had tip-toed past me while carrying a bundle of freshly cleaned bedding. But even when I did notice, I didn’t think much of it. Laundry was just one of my sister’s chores at the time, and chores were a topic I didn’t want any more familiarity with. Chores were a concept my parents had introduced to me last year, complete with a magnet chart on the fridge for documenting my progress toward earning various rewards. For me, that meant making sure all my toys were put away each evening, making my bed in the morning, and other random age-appropriate tasks around the house. And then there was the question of pajamas. Grace usually showered and changed first thing in the morning, so I didn’t often see her in her pajamas after I had gotten out of bed myself, but there were times when she was wearing a different set of pajamas than what I had seen her in when she had been brushing her teeth in the bathroom the night before. I certainly noticed, but it would never have occurred to me that she would have changed pajamas because she had peed on her first pair of them. I just figured she must have gotten uncomfortable in the middle of the night. Then, there was the fact that my sister never had any sleepovers. My first sleepover actually came before she had a chance to do one. My first sleepover had come a week into the summer after graduating from kindergarten when I’d had Emma sleepover at my house for the first time. It was another few years before Angie’s parents would allow her to join in on our sleepovers. Looking back on it, the fact that Grace hadn’t complained at all about not going on sleepovers when I was allowed to have one was another sign that she had been perfectly comfortable avoiding spending the night with friends, likely out of fear of her bedwetting being discovered. My sister’s room was very much off-limits, especially when my friends were over. I was sure there were plenty of reasons that a twelve-year-old wouldn’t want their six-year-old sister snooping around, but in retrospect, I wondered if I would have found evidence of her bedwetting had I searched then rather than waiting another three years until after Grace had learned to stay dry at night. Grace took the privacy of her bedroom very seriously. The door remained shut at all times, even when she wasn’t in it. She even went so far as to put a “keep out” sign on her door. She had even tried to get Mom and Dad to let her put a lock on her door, but that request had gotten shut down right away. Then there were the reminders to use the toilet before bed. Something that got said a lot more to Grace than to me. There had been times in the evening when Grace had asked for something to drink, only to have Mom or Dad tell her that it was too late for that. Watson might have declared the evidence to be “elementary” at this point, but Sherlock Holmes I was not. My six-year-old brain lacked the necessary deduction skills to put it all together. That was until the proof of my sister’s bedwetting became undeniable. <><><> I groaned as I opened my eyes. It was still dark out. Very dark out. It was such an inopportune time to wake up. I had been rudely pulled out of the most fascinating dream involving panda bears, a field trip to the art museum, and a boy band my sister liked. Why was I even awake now in the first place? I swallowed. My mouth felt dry. It was enough of a nuisance that I wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep until I’d gotten something to drink. A year ago, I would have called out to Mom and Dad until one of them had woken up to get me a glass of water. They were usually reluctant to give me anything more than a couple of sips. That annoyed me, but I understood later why they were so insistent on limiting fluids. They soon got tired of getting me something to drink, and I was informed that I was a big enough girl to get out of bed and get a glass of water all by myself. But this situation was a little different. It would have been one thing if we had been at home. There, I knew the contours of our house well enough to navigate downstairs without needing to turn on any lights. But here, in the guest house we were staying at while visiting my grandparents, I didn’t even know where the light switch was, let alone the doorway. I sat in bed for several minutes while my eyes gradually adjusted to the dark; it was a moonless night on a rural property, so even then, I could only barely make out the outline of where the bedroom door might be. I nearly fell off of the bed when I rolled over onto my side. I had forgotten that it was only half the size of the bed I had back in my bedroom. I took cautious steps in a straight line toward what appeared to be the bedroom door until, at last, I had my hand on the cold doorknob. I expected darkness when I swung open the bedroom door, but there was a hint of light from the end of the hallway, coming from the stairs that led down to the main floor. That was where I needed to go. There weren’t any glasses in the upstairs bathroom. There were two upstairs bedrooms, one for me and one for my parents. My older sister was sleeping downstairs on a pull-out sofa. What was she doing up this late? The door to the bedroom my parents were using was open. I peeked inside it. It was only Dad in there. That explained the downstairs light. Mom must have gotten up with my six-month-old brother to feed him. At least that meant that there was a light on, so it would be easier to find my way to the kitchen. As I approached the top of the staircase, I heard some voices. It was my mom and my sister, interspersed with some soft crying from Jackson. I got the sense that this somehow wasn’t a conversation I was supposed to be listening to, but curiosity got the better of me. I tip-toed quietly down the carpeted stairs and then inched along the hallway until I could see into the room where my sister had been sleeping. I had to blink a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t in some sort of strange dream. My sister was wearing pajama pants that were paired with one of those extra-long T-shirts she always wore to bed, the kind that could practically double as a dress. It wasn’t the type of pajamas my sister was wearing, but their condition that caught my attention. There was a large wet spot on my sister’s pajamas. My initial thought was that Grace must have accidentally spilled water on herself. But that didn’t track. She seemed rather upset. I looked up at her face and saw that she was crying. No reason to be that upset over a spilled glass of water. Mom, who was holding Jackson, was standing close by. I wasn’t able to make out the expression on her face, but the tone of her voice suggested she wasn’t all that happy with my sister. Then, there was the location of the wet spot on her pajama pants. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t water. “I told you that I had packed it for you, Grace.” Mom said. “Why didn’t you—” “Mom,” Grace interrupted. “I told you already. I just forgot about it. Anyway, I’m not a baby.” “I’m not saying you are,” Mom said. “Which means you need to be more responsible.” Mom looked down at where Grace had been sleeping. I couldn’t see from here, but I guessed that the accident had gotten all over the bedding and perhaps the couch as well. “Just go hop in the shower,” Mom said. “I’ll try to figure out how to get this cleaned up. There have to be some cleaning supplies somewhere.” That was my cue to skedaddle. But with Grace now headed in my direction, I belatedly realized that there wasn’t any way to get up the stairs without her noticing me. Instead, I back away into an adjacent room, hoping to keep out of sight of my sister and my mom. Once Grace was heading up the stairs, I peeked out again and got a good look at her pajamas. There could be no disputing it. My sister had peed herself. I really didn’t know how to react to this revelation. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen a kid wet their pants before. That had happened to other students on three occasions during my kindergarten year. But that was different; those kids had either been too scared of the school restrooms or too scared of their teacher to ask for permission to go potty. This was my sister. She was about to be a teenager. And she had peed herself despite the fact that there was a perfectly good and accessible toilet only a few feet away from her. How? Why? It made no sense. It was just confusing, and I wasn’t quite convinced that I wasn’t still dreaming up this wacky scene. “Madelyn.” Mom’s voice was hushed, but I could sense her irritation through the use of my full first name. It turned out that my hiding spot wasn’t quite as hidden as I thought it had been. “What are you doing up?” “Um, I woke up. I was thirsty and wanted something to drink.” There was simply no way I could hold the question inside. “Did Grace pee her pants?” Mom glanced toward the staircase before answering me. “For some kids, like your sister, their bladder sometimes forgets that it is supposed to hold their pee in while they are asleep. It’s not your sister’s fault she had a bedwetting accident. Some kids, like you, grow out of it right when they are potty trained. It takes a lot longer for other kids.” That was a lot to take in all at once. Bedwetting. That was a new word for me. Perhaps it helped to define what was happening to my sister as something separate from toilet training. “Hey,” Dad said. He was not using his nighttime voice. “Heard that there was someone in the shower and then saw that no one was in bed.” “Grace had a bedwetting accident,” Mom said. Dad turned to look at me and then back at Mom. Mom sighed, adjusting her grip on Jackson, who was beginning to squirm. “Maddy already knows now. She found out because she was getting something to drink.” Dad completely brushed off the news about the bedwetting as if it was something that was completely normal and expected. “Do we think that getting something to drink is a good idea?” He asked. “But I’m thirsty,” I complained. My mouth was still very dry. “Drinking lots of water at night can sometimes lead to bedwetting accidents for kids,” Dad said. “But I don’t ever wet the bed when I drink water at night.” “Maddy does have a point,” Mom said. “Fine,” Dad responded. “But if she ruins a mattress, you can explain it to your parents.” “Go on,” Mom said to me. I went off to the kitchen but only took the tiniest sip of water. Despite my protestations that I had never wet the bed before, I was now suddenly very concerned that it could happen if I were to drink too much. I set the glass down without finishing it off and began to walk toward the stairs. “Hold up,” Dad said. “There’s something we need to talk about first.” I paused at the foot of the stairs. “While it is normal for some kids to have bedwetting issues, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t embarrassing or that other people who aren’t nice might tease your sister about it. You are not to tell anyone else that your sister wets the bed. That’s a private issue, not to be shared with anyone other than our family. Secondly, you aren’t to mention this at all to your sister. Not to tease her. Not because you’re curious. Not at all.” I understood from the way Dad’s tone had changed that this was a very serious request. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” The shower was still running when I slipped past the upstairs bathroom on my way back to bed. <><><> Present time I had figured that wetting the bed a second time would be a lot easier. I was wrong. Like last night, I was waiting anxiously for the clock to strike midnight. Unlike last night, the urge to pee was present, but not nearly as overwhelming. While I still had drunk more liquids than normal over the course of the afternoon and evening, I hadn’t been as thorough in my hydration as yesterday. It didn’t help that Mom had caught me drinking water in the kitchen. I had planned to drink some water from the bathroom sink, but all it took was one sip of unfiltered water to deter me from doing that. I wanted pull-ups, but not that badly. Her concern over what I was drinking in the evening could turn out to be a problem, especially as the bedwetting would be turning into a pattern rather than a random one-off occurrence. Perhaps I would be able to get comfortable enough with peeing myself so that I wouldn’t need to drink excessive amounts of water to do so. I’d been lying in bed for about an hour and a half now. The first twenty minutes of that had been spent listening to Chester paw at my door. The cat’s efforts at opening the door had thankfully proven to be unsuccessful. He’d probably gone back downstairs to bother my parents. That was followed by the sound of my sister leaving her room momentarily to brush her teeth. I’d picked one of my least favorite pajama outfits for the night. It was a hand-me-down shirt from my sister. This one had a bit of special significance. It was the same T-shirt she had worn that night when I found out about her bedwetting. That was paired with some pink pajama pants with hearts on them. I wouldn’t mind if either the shirt or pants got ruined because of the bedwetting. I had kept the promise I had made to my parents six years ago. My lips had stayed completely shut. As far as I knew, Grace had no idea that I had ever known about her bedwetting. I hadn’t even brought up the subject again with our parents. If I could make it through the next week or so without Grace catching on, I’d be able to keep this bedwetting secret from her as long as my parents purchased pull-ups for me. I thought back to all the signs that had been present when Grace had been a bedwetter. I knew what I needed to avoid if I were to keep my own secret safe. That night at my Grandparents’ house had been the only time where I had stumbled across evidence of my sister’s bedwetting. That raised a lot of questions. Was her bedwetting something that was super frequent at that point, or had she, at the same age I was now, already been outgrowing her bedwetting phase? But there were other questions that remained unanswered. The fact that there had been laundry washed every morning suggested that Grace either hadn’t been wearing pull-ups to bed or that they had been totally ineffective in keeping her sheets dry. Did my parents even realize that pull-ups were an option for my older sister? Or had they – or she – decided that pull-ups weren’t how they were going to manage her bedwetting? But what about that time at my grandparents’ place? Yes, Grace had wet the bed on the first night, but as far as I knew, there hadn’t been a repeat during that week-long stay. Was it possible that she had worn a pull-up the rest of the nights there? A lot of those questions could have been answered if I had ever managed to work up the courage to ask my older sister, but a promise was a promise, so I followed my parent’s rules even after they had let me know that Grace’s bedwetting phase had ended – a move they made one vacation when they had Grace and I share a bed for the first time. I had been greatly reassured, knowing that my sister wasn’t going to pee all over me in her sleep. The telltale signs of Mom and Dad heading to bed had passed twenty minutes ago. It was likely that they were both already asleep by now. Dad’s snoring wasn’t quite as loud as last night, but I could still make it out occasionally. But all the certainty leading up to this moment was again beginning to fall away. Until last night, the idea of pretending to wet the bed had been a fantasy. It had been a fun thing to think about as I went through how different scenarios might play out in my head, all of them ending with Mom bringing me aside for a private conversation where she would reveal that she had purchased pull-ups for me to wear to bed. It had been a constant daydream over the past year as I slowly worked up the courage to finally act on my desires. But now I knew what the reality of bedwetting was like. And it wasn’t quite like how things had gone in my daydreams. Bedwetting sucked when doing it while not wearing pull-ups. It was one thing to have to inform my parents of the accident; there was no getting around that if I were to convince them that pull-ups were needed, but it was something else to have the evidence of my wet pajamas and bed displayed right in front of them. I could picture the expression on Mom’s face from last night, and I dreaded having to see it again. I nearly faltered. I nearly got up and walked to the bathroom. I nearly convinced myself that I could call it quits. But there was one thing that was stopping me. The one reassurance was that I could always stop. If faking the bedwetting got to be too difficult or too embarrassing, if I somehow found that the pull-ups didn’t live up to my expectations, all I would have to do was stop wetting the bed. I could end it as easily as it was beginning. But the one thing I couldn’t do was go through my plan only halfway. I needed to either be fully committed to it or not do it at all. The bedwetting had to be consistent and frequent if I was going to get my parents to buy me those pull-ups. I kept trying – and failing – to get my bladder to release while I was lying down in bed. I wanted the accident to look as natural as possible, but no matter how I positioned myself – lying on my side, front, or back – I was not able to get myself to pee. But there was something other than just making sure my deceit wouldn’t be found out by my parents. I wanted to know what it felt like to have an actual bedwetting accident, not just squat over my sheets and pee. But another five minutes passed by without any results. I yawned. I had two options. Figure out a way to pee or go to sleep. I got up on my knees the way I had done the night before. I turned my mind to thoughts of things that were wet. A minute later, there was a wetness and warmth in my underwear, followed by the sound of urine streaming onto the bed, proof that the method I had discovered last night had worked again. Like last night, once I had started peeing, I found it impossible to stop once everything was out. And also, like last night, the feeling of the wet clothes against my skin was barely tolerable. I picked up my phone and turned the flashlight app on. The wet spot wasn’t as big as last night, but it would more than do. It was time to get the hard part over with. So there I was, still in my soaked underwear and pants and my slightly wet shirt, staring right at my parents’ bedroom door. I’d turned off the flashlight app on my phone once I’d gotten out to the hallway. I didn’t need to make my accident any more obvious than it was already. I tried to knock. I really did. I must have raised my hand up a half-dozen times, but each time, I held my fist aloft in the air for a few seconds before letting my arm drop back down. I thought about how Mom had reacted last night. She hadn’t been upset at me, but I could tell that having to get out of bed that late had been a nuisance, especially with how she had needed to get the laundry started and clean up the mattress. Even if I had experienced a real bedwetting accident, I would have felt bad about having to make Mom clean up after me like that. If I had made a mess in the house any other time during the day, I’d be expected to clean it up on my own without any assistance. Why should this be any different? Besides, all my parents needed to know was that I had an accident. Maybe there wasn’t a need to wake them. All the bedding in the washing machine would be proof enough of that in the morning. That was a much better idea. I would change out of my wet pajamas and then take all of my wet clothing and bedding down to the basement. I could at least get a washing cycle started, and then it all could be moved to the dryer in the morning. I wouldn’t need to hide the bedwetting from my parents, but it would be much less humiliating to tell them in the morning, or perhaps they would figure it out on their own by the fact that I was doing laundry, which would make a difficult conversation a little easier. That meant I was going to have to figure out how to clean the bed. I guessed that if I were to check the closet, I would be able to recognize the cleaning solutions Mom had used last night. In less than twenty minutes or so, I’d have everything all cleaned up, and I could be tucked into a sleeping bag on the floor. I’d made my decision. Waiting until the morning for my parents to find out about this latest bedwetting accident would make things a lot easier. I was right about to head back to my room when Grace’s bedroom door swung wide open, and she stepped out into the hallway. I could have sworn that she was asleep already. I hadn’t noticed any light coming from under her door, and I had heard her brushing her teeth in the bathroom shortly after I had gone to bed myself. I stood frozen in place. There was no escape. The light from her bedroom illuminated the hallway, reaching out all the way to where I was standing. My hands slid down in front of my waist, but even had they been able to completely obscure the wet spot before Grace had a chance to see it, just the motion of hiding that part of my body would have been enough to arouse her suspicions. We locked eyes. She appeared just as surprised to see me as I was to see her. Neither of us said anything. Grace’s expression changed from the casual surprise of seeing me to concern over what must be the obvious embarrassment showing on my face. I watched in horror as my sister’s eyes drifted down to my waist, her pupils expanding as she took in the sight of my hands held in front of my wet pajamas. --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com
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  28. Chapter 6: Not Going to Happen Again There had to be some kind of catch. I looked at my older sister in astonishment after hearing her spell out the favor she wanted. I really hadn’t had a clue about what the favor was going to be, but what she was asking wasn’t anywhere close to any of the guesses that had been swirling around in my head since she had done my homework for me yesterday in return for a then-secret favor. I guess I had just figured that it was going to be something a little bigger than what she had asked, or at least something that I otherwise wouldn’t have wanted to do for her. But this? It would be a piece of cake. Grace was taking us to the mall. She was supposed to stick with us as a chaperone the whole time. Instead, she was going to drop us off at the mall and return to pick us up four hours later. All I and my friends had to do was not say anything about it. “Well,” Grace said with a hint of impatience in her voice. Oh, yeah. I suppose she needed me to answer her and not just stand around gawking at her. “Yeah, of course.” And that was the end of that discussion. Grace left to head back to her room. I texted my friends the good news. I made no mention of the favor in the message to them. Nothing done on a phone was secret, after all. I really didn’t think that my parents looked through my text messages, but I wasn’t confident that they didn’t have the ability to do so if they ever wanted to. I still couldn’t help but question the situation. Grace was a good older sister, but her altruism had never extended this far before. What was in it for her? She would get four hours to herself, four hours when her time would be unaccounted for by our parents. What could be so important that she’d risk the fallout of her plot being discovered? For me, I couldn’t see any downside to it at all. Four hours by ourselves at the mall. That was going to be an easy secret to keep; it was not like I would have any incentive to tattle on my older sister. There was one other benefit for Grace, which I noticed once I went back downstairs. I suppose it didn’t hurt my sister that her willingness to take me and my friends to the mall also got her in Mom’s good graces. Mom was practically gushing about how much of a good older sibling Grace was. That was true, just not in the way that Mom was thinking. <><><> When my parents upgraded to a new minivan last year, they handed down the old one to my sister. The silver Toyota Sienna wasn’t the most fashionable of vehicles for a teen girl to be driving around. My sister had nearly thrown a fit when our parents told her that it would be her vehicle after she got her license. But a car was a car, and having one was a lot better than not having one. Grace skipped the turn that led to one of the two massive parking ramps on either side of the three-story mall and instead drove us right up to one of the entrances. “You guys have fun,” Grace said as she pulled over to the curb and put the van into park. “I’ll be back to get you right here at five. Any problems and you call me right away, OK?” I got out of the passenger seat, and Emma and Angie joined me on the sidewalk, but not without a little confusion. “We’re getting chauffeur service now?” Angie asked as Grace pulled away. Grace and I hadn’t said anything about the favor on the way to the mall. I had almost thought she had either forgotten about it or had decided to backtrack. And I hadn’t wanted to bring the topic up in front of my friends in case Grace had somehow decided to change her mind. “Oh no,” I replied. “We’re on our own today.” Emma and Angie both stared at me. “How in the world did you get her to do that?” Emma asked. I told them about how Grace had done my homework for me the other day, using that assistance basically as blackmail to get me to lie to my parents about the trip to the mall. The rules at the mall were that kids under the age of sixteen couldn’t be left unsupervised after 5 p.m. But all of our parents were stricter than that. We’d never been left on our own at the mall before. “You cheated on your homework?” Emma asked indignantly. She was a stickler for following the rules. I didn’t think that accusation was all that fair. “You heard what Mr. Thompson said. That’s for eighth grade. It’s not like we were supposed to be learning about it this year, anyway.” “Fine,” Emma said, her hands on her hips. “But what exactly am I supposed to tell my parents?” “You’ll tell them that Grace did an awesome job of taking us to the mall,” I said. “You’re saying I should lie to them?” Emma asked. “Do you want to go home?” Angie asked. “You don’t need to be specific. Just say Grace took us to the mall. That’s technically the truth, after all.” Emma sighed in defeat. “Fine.” “Then come on,” Angie said, heading toward the mall entrance. “What are you waiting for?” <><><> “I need to pee quick,” I said, excusing myself at the sight of the first restrooms we passed. The two full glasses of Kool-Aid I’d drunk with my lunch of leftover pizza had been a lot, even for my typically strong bladder. The restroom was nearly deserted. I stepped into a stall near the end. Staying hydrated like this was getting to be a nuisance. It would be so much easier to fake my bedwetting once I had pull-ups. I would need to have another conversation with Emma and Angie once I got back out to the hallway. Angie seemed on board with keeping the secret, but I needed to make it crystal clear to Emma that she had better be on the same page with us. My phone buzzed. I reached down to get it from the pocket of my shorts. It was a message from Mom sent to the group chat that we shared with her and my sister. She had asked how we were doing at the mall. Grace had already replied a few seconds later, saying that we were having a good time and had gotten there OK. I thought about joining the conversation but decided that the less I said, the better. Best to keep things simple if we were going to try to keep our stories straight. I started to head to the sink to wash my hands – which usually meant running them through the water for a few seconds – when something near the restroom entrance caught my eye. There was a woman leaning over a girl on the diaper changing station. That wasn’t an uncommon sight at the mall, and normally, I didn’t pay much attention to it, but this was different. The girl looked only a little younger than Jackson. Maybe old enough to be starting kindergarten next fall. She was certainly old enough that she should have been potty trained already. She barely fit on the diaper changing station indented into the bathroom wall. I walked over to the faucet that was the second closest to where the change was taking place. I usually rushed through washing my hands, but this time, I worked to scrub them as thoroughly as possible, taking slight peeks to the side every few seconds. There could be no mistaking what I saw. The pull-ups the girl was being changed into matched the designs on the ones I had seen in the magazine I had under my bed. This was a new idea, one that hadn’t even occurred to me before. The pull-ups were advertised as nighttime underwear designed for kids who wet the bed. But here was a girl who was wearing them during the day. I hadn’t even considered that possibility before, which made me feel a bit stupid. There wouldn’t be any reason why a pull-up worn at night also wouldn’t be effective during the day. It wasn’t like a pull-up would be less absorbent while the sun was out. But a girl not potty trained at that age? What was wrong with her? I figured it probably had some sort of special needs situation or disability. But as I continued to wash my hands, I caught snippets of the conversation between the mom and daughter: just idle chit-chat about what they were planning to do and see at the mall in what was an otherwise normal conversation for a kid that age, nothing different from conversations I’d had with my brother when he’d been that age. I averted my eyes – focusing on putting some more soap on my hands – as the mom finished putting a clean pull-up on her daughter and helped her to her feet. There wasn’t anyone else in the restroom when I at last finished washing my hands. I grabbed a large wad of paper towels to dry my hands off. The used pull-up was staring right at me on the top of the nearly full garbage bin as I went to discard the paper towels on my way out of the restroom. I paused for several moments as I stared at it. The questions it raised were ones I couldn’t even dare to let myself think about, let alone answer, for fear of the possibilities nibbling at the far reaches of my brain. I stopped at a drinking fountain after leaving the restroom, taking a few long sips of water. Had to keep up my hydration, as annoying as it was. I snuck up on my friends, both of whom were glued to their phones. I peeked over Angie’s shoulder silently to watch the videos she was scrolling through on TikTok. Dad was adamant that Grace and I shouldn’t use that app. He called it poorly disguised Chinese spyware. I couldn’t see why a foreign government would care about funny dancing videos. But he was the IT expert, so there was no changing his mind. I had to make do with gleaning information from my friends about what the latest social media trends were. “Boo!” I tapped Angie on her shoulder. She jumped and nearly dropped her phone. “You’re such a creep sometimes,” Angie said. “So, what should we do first?” Emma asked. “You decided that you’re good with being at the mall without Grace?” I asked. There needed to be no question about that before we did anything else. Emma bit her lip. “I won’t say anything. I promise. Let’s just not make a habit out of it.” “What do you think Grace is hiding?” Angie asked. “Has to be something she doesn’t want anyone finding out if she’s going to go to all that trouble to keep it secret.” “Maybe it’s a boyfriend,” Emma said. That didn’t seem likely. Grace had someone she’d gone out with for about six months during her junior year. Michael had been a bit of a jerk to me, though, so he wasn’t missed. “No,” I said. “Remember that boyfriend she had? She wouldn’t need to hide it.” “So, a girlfriend then?” Angie asked. That was an interesting question. But I thought of all the posters of boy bands that covered my sister’s bedroom walls. No, it was pretty clear where her interests lay. “No,” I said confidently. “That’s not her thing.” We considered a few other options, but nothing seemed to fit for Grace. We set the mystery of what Grace was up to aside, as there wasn’t any obvious answer we could find for her decision, and set off to explore the mall. As we walked down one of the mall’s many corridors, I thought back to that commercial that had aired on TV the other night. How my friend had laughed and mocked the idea of someone our age needing to wear pull-ups to bed. Their reaction hadn’t dissuaded me from going forward with the fake bedwetting, but it had reaffirmed the need to keep it secret at all costs. There were going to be a lot of sleepovers happening over the summer. My fake bedwetting shouldn’t be a problem as long as Mom had gotten me pull-ups by then. The ad on TV did tout the ability of the pull-ups to be discretely concealed beneath pajamas, but I wasn’t going to be taking that risk around my friends. I wouldn’t even have to wear the pull-ups to bed. I could just tell Mom that I did and then pretend that I must have had a rare dry night. So even if I was staying overnight at one of my friend’s houses, it wouldn’t be a problem at all. Bam. Someone’s shoulder hit me in the face, and I fell backward onto the hallway floor. A man standing over me cursed and then looked down at me. “Stupid kids, watch where you are going.” “Seriously, Mads, you need to pay attention to where you are walking,” Emma said as she gave me a hand and helped me to my feet. “What do you even spend all your time daydreaming about, anyway?” Angie asked. My mind immediately went back to that day three years ago. The way the pull-up felt around my waist. The way my reflection looked in the mirror. The never-ending longing to be able to finally relive that moment. “You look so adorable when you blush like that,” Emma said. “Shut up,” I muttered. I started to walk down the hallway, paying more attention to my surroundings this time. “Is it boys?” Emma asked as she caught up to me. “No, gross. Why would you even say that?” “Yep, definitely boys. I think someone doth protest too much,” Angie said. I rolled my eyes in exasperation. That was better than my friends knowing what I was actually daydreaming about. But not much better. As we made our way to the massive M&M candy shop on the far side of the mall, I had to endure their theories about which boy in our grade I must have a crush on. They went through practically every boy that was in any of my classes, weighing the pros and cons of each option, before settling at last on Ali, who was in my math class and was on the boy’s U13 soccer team for our soccer club. “Am I right,” Angie asked. I didn’t really feel like indulging in their game any longer. “No comment.” We had arrived at the candy store, which had every possible variation of M&M candies that one could want, and quite a few that I couldn’t see anyone ever eating. We filled a bag of custom flavors to share and munched on the chocolate candies while exploring the mall. We walked in a loop around each of the three floors in the three-story complex. We knew every spot in the mall that gave out free samples. There was a hot sauce place that Angie preferred. I only dared to sample the mildest flavors. I didn’t need any further motivation to drink more water. The beef jerky shop next door was my favorite. They even had alligator jerky for sale. Thankfully, there weren’t any samples for it. Besides that, we managed to get some samples of honey, chocolate, and sports drinks. We spent the rest of the time trying on a bunch of clothes. None of us had a bunch of spare cash to make any big purchases, but we had fun squeezing into changing stalls and taking videos and photos for Angie and Emma’s social media accounts. Dad probably wouldn’t approve, but he hadn’t ever explicitly forbidden me from appearing on my friends’ social media pages, and I had been smart enough to make sure that I never brought up that topic with him. Grace did a good job of covering for us with Mom. She texted me a couple of times to ask what my friends and I were up to, and then she dutifully used that information to update Mom about what we were doing. And when we were ready to leave, Grace was right on time to pick us up at five p.m. I took a look over at the dash in front of the steering wheel. My sister must have spent a sizable amount of time driving while we were at the mall. The gas tank was a lot less full than it had been when we’d left home. <><><> “How was your time at the mall?” Mom asked a few seconds after we had stepped in the front door. This was where I needed to live up to my end of the favor. I could see Grace giving me a look out of the corner of my eye, one that told me I better stick to our agreement or else. “It was great,” I said, giving my sister a smile as I looked in her direction. “It was really nice of Grace to take us.” And that was that. There wasn’t any interrogation of what we had done at the mall. That’s one benefit of being a kid who usually has a very difficult time with lying to their parents. Mom didn’t have any reason to suspect that anything was off. It wasn’t quite time for dinner. I grabbed a book I had gotten from the library, one about teenagers struggling to survive in a far-off dystopia, but I wasn’t really paying much attention to what I was reading. Outside of asking me to retrieve my bedding from the basement, my parents hadn’t even made the slightest hint at what had happened last night with the supposed bedwetting. That was both a good thing and a problem. It was good because I was supremely embarrassed by the situation. I still couldn’t get over the look on Mom’s face when she noticed my wet shorts while I was standing at her bedroom door or how Dad had craned his head around in bed to try to see what was going on. I was going to need to somehow work up the courage to do that again tonight. But there was a downside to their seeming indifference. Yes, it was only one accident, and they wouldn’t have any reason to expect that it was anything other than a one-off event, but the way it had been seemingly brushed off and forgotten about didn’t bode well for convincing them that pull-ups were going to be the solution to this bedwetting problem. And that assumed that they would know that the pull-ups were an option for me. I still didn’t know if they had ever had my sister wear pull-ups to manage her own bedwetting. I couldn’t imagine having to wash bedding every single day. The problem was I had been too young at the time to really recall if I had noticed anything out of the ordinary with my sister. It wasn’t impossible to believe that Grace had worn pull-ups and that my parents had gone to great lengths to keep the situation discreet. And by the time I had any interest in the subject, she had already long been toilet trained at night. I had secretly searched her room multiple times but had never found even the slightest bit of evidence of pull-ups. I made sure to finish my whole glass of milk with dinner. I didn’t get a refill. Having to drink one glass of it a day was bad enough. Usually, I would try to sneak into the kitchen and pour some out at the end of dinner. Mom gave me a brief smile as she noticed that both my plate and glass were completely empty as I went to drop them off on the kitchen counter near the sink. Dinners were a family affair. Grace probably would have eaten hers in her room if she had wanted to, but that wasn’t allowed. Still, she hid herself away in her bedroom, saying she wanted to work on some graphic design projects on her computer as soon as she had finished doing the dishes. That meant that game night was just me, Jackson, and my parents. He was old enough to understand the rules of Uno, but not quite old enough to handle having to draw four without coming close to throwing a tantrum. Dad took Jackson upstairs to give him a bath while Mom and I switched to playing a round of the card game Canasta. I was on pins and needles throughout our conversation as we chatted during the game. There were so many secrets that I was juggling. My desire for diapers. The fake bedwetting. My algebra homework. Grace leaving us at the mall. I tried to keep a straight face through all of it, but I must not have succeeded. It was Mom’s turn, but she set her cards down. “Is everything OK?” What did she suspect? Did she know? A wave of guilt ran over me. I came perilously close to blurting everything out right then and there. Mom reached forward and touched my hand. “You don’t need to worry about what happened last night. You remember how I told you that your sister used to struggle with wetting the bed? And that was several times a week for quite a number of years. It’s not something you can control. That’s why it’s called an accident. We never punished or embarrassed Grace for it, and it’s not going to be any different for you.” “Yeah, it’s just…” I struggled at trying to figure out what I was supposed to say. “Don’t let it bother you.” Mom said. “You’ll get a good night’s sleep tonight, and it will be a distant memory in a couple of days.” That made me feel quite guilty. My sheets weren’t going to stay dry tonight. That was out of the question now. If I were to convince Mom and Dad to get me pull-ups, it would take a lot of consistently wet nights. Plodding footsteps coming down the stairs told us that Dad was done getting my brother ready for bed. That meant the upstairs bathroom was ready for me. I was extremely glad the conversation about bedwetting had wrapped up before his return. “Make sure you brush your teeth for two minutes,” Mom said. “Oh, and Maddy, don’t forget to use the toilet as well.” I got up to head upstairs right away, much faster than I normally would have obeyed a request to go brush my teeth. I hoped Mom wouldn’t see how badly I was blushing at her reminder to pee before going to bed. I hadn’t managed to drink quite as much water as I had done yesterday. That, combined with the fact that I didn’t even need to pee nearly as much as I had at this point last night, meant that it would probably be best to get some additional liquids in me before I retreated to my bedroom. I could have drunk some water from the bathroom sink. That would have been the discrete thing to do. But I hated the taste of the tap water at our house. It was bad enough that I needed to brush my teeth with it. That was the main reason I often tried to skirt that nighttime responsibility. Instead, I tiptoed down the stairs. Mom and Dad weren’t in sight. They were probably watching one of their more adult shows in the family room. I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and pulled out a filtered water jug from the refrigerator. I filled the glass about halfway up. That should be enough to ensure that I’d be more than able to pee on the bed in a couple of hours. I raised the glass to my lips, taking a few long sips of the cool water. It was a much better choice than trying to drink from the bathroom sink. “Maddy,” Mom said in a tone that suggested she wasn’t that happy about what I was doing. I lowered the glass from my lips. Mom was standing at the entrance to the kitchen. I looked down at the nearly empty glass. “What, I’m thirsty?” “You probably shouldn’t be drinking that much water right before you get into bed,” Mom said. “That doesn’t help with staying dry at night.” “Oh,” I said, trying my best to pretend that I hadn’t even thought ahead to the possibility that drinking more would cause me to wet the bed. I set the glass down on the counter. I would have preferred to have finished it. I would have to settle for a few sips of tap water upstairs instead. I put on what I thought was a good display of confidence. “Relax, Mom. It’s not going to happen again.” --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com
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  29. I don’t know what the number is but am so glad I’m one of them. Natural to me from day 1.
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  30. Posting your phone number online in a forum like this is not wise, presents risk.
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  31. Chapter 5: About That Favor I woke to the sound of claws being dragged across wood. Chester was scratching at the door, his paws all the way past the doorknob. The cat was a master of breaking into my bedroom. Getting out of it, not so much. He dropped his paws to the ground, turned around to glare at me, and let out a loud, high-pitched meow. I rolled over as if to move to the side of the bed, only to find myself completely tangled up in a sleeping bag. I looked around for my friends – Angie and Emma – but they were nowhere to be found. But I was on the floor in a sleeping bag. And I only slept in those during sleepovers. So where exactly were they? Oh, wait. The events of last night came back to me. The struggle to get my bladder to release. The flooded sheets after I had finally managed to trick it into letting go. Having to knock on my parents’ door to inform them of the supposed accident. Mom setting up the sleeping bag for me on the floor. Chester meowed loudly at me again and then resumed his scratching at the door. It was only slightly better than having to listen to chalk on a blackboard. I scrambled out of the sleeping bag. Better to let him out quickly than have Grace, or worse, Jackson, open the door for me and discover that all my bedding was missing. I’d have a hard time coming up with a good explanation for that, along with why I had ended up on the floor in a sleeping bag. I cracked the door open just enough for Chester to squeeze through into the hallway and then closed it right away. I stretched my hands in the air. I always felt so stiff after sleeping on the floor. How long had I slept in, anyway? I grabbed my phone off of where I had left it on the floor next to the sleeping bag. I tapped the screen. Already 10 a.m. I had really slept in. But that made sense with how late I had stayed up. I scrolled through my notifications. There were a half-dozen messages from Angie and Emma, ribbing me for how late I had slept in. Both of my friends had been up earlier, discussing what our plans would be for the day. They had come to the decision that they wanted to go to the mall. I agreed that it sounded like a bunch of fun, but aside from needing a ride, none of our parents were going to let their middle schoolers stay at the mall unchaperoned. I highly doubted that any of our parents wanted to spend time at the mall this weekend. And there weren’t any other good options at the moment. Emma’s older sister would sometimes be willing to go along with us, but she wasn’t getting back home from college for a few weeks. Angie didn’t have any siblings at all, so that wasn’t of any help. And Grace, well, she worked very hard to avoid spending any more time around my friends than was absolutely necessary. I wasn’t even going to bother asking her. In most other things, Grace and I were on good terms as far as sisters with a five-year age gap between them could be. We both had inherited our parents’ red hair, and I was practically a younger mini-me of my sister, everything else diverged from there. I was the athlete of our family, taking more after my dad in that regard. I mostly stuck to playing soccer, at least competitively, but I was always the first girl picked for any of the activities during gym class. If only I had managed to get Dad’s brains as well. I wouldn’t have any trouble doing math at all. Grace was much more artistically inclined. She planned to major in graphic design at college. I did like to doodle myself, but only as a distraction during boring school lectures; nothing that ended up in my notebook could exactly qualify as art. I grabbed a change of clothes so I could get dressed in the bathroom after the shower. Jean shorts and a tie-die shirt were the plan for today. Even though I had showered in the middle of the night, I still needed to shower again this morning, as I had only gotten under the water to briefly clean off the urine that had gotten all over me from intentionally wetting the bed. I texted my friends that I would check with my mom about the possibility of going to the mall but told them to not get their hopes up. I suggested going over to Angie’s place, which was closest to the neighborhood park, to kick around a soccer ball for a bit if the mall plan didn’t work out. With my clothes in hand, I hesitated in front of the bedroom door. Now was yet another moment of truth. I would have to walk out into the house with the full knowledge that Mom knew that I had wet the bed last night. There wasn’t any reason to think that Dad didn’t know either. If he somehow hadn’t managed to get a glimpse of my wet pajamas last night, Mom would have certainly filled him in on all the details of what had happened. I’d vastly underestimated how uncomfortable that would make me feel. But I could at least take solace in the fact that Mom hadn’t seemed upset at me in any way, and she had handled that late-night bedwetting episode with the expertise of someone who wasn’t out of place in that situation. I stepped out into the hallway. No one was in sight. I speed-walked toward the bathroom. <><><> There was a lingering smell of scrambled eggs when I walked into the kitchen, but any hopes for a late breakfast were dashed by the empty pan on the stove. “Good morning,” Mom said. She was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee and a now empty plate of scrambled eggs set to the side of the book that was propped open in front of her. “Morning,” I replied. “I had meant to save you some,” Mom said. “But I think your father ate them. He thought you were going to sleep in all the way till lunch at this point.” “That’s fine,” I said, even though my stomach was telling me that it would have liked some scrambled eggs. There was nothing out of the ordinary about that brief exchange, but something still felt off between us as I left the kitchen and walked over to the family room. Mom knew. She didn’t know the real secret. But she knew a secret. It felt as though that one act of pretending to wet the bed had irrevocably altered things between us, a situation that made me feel more uncomfortable because it couldn’t be acknowledged at the moment. “About time you’re up,” Grace said as I walked into the family room. My older sister turned to look at Dad. “You always give me such a hard time about sleeping in. And I’m always up in time to at least eat breakfast.” Dad opened his mouth slightly and then bit his lip. Yeah, he definitely knew as well. I had already come that close to having my secret come out. “Good morning to you, too,” I muttered to my sister as I sat down on the couch and slid my phone out of my pocket. I sent a few more texts to my friends while trying my best to ignore the show that Jackson was watching on the TV. Mom joined us a few minutes later. She gave my sister a look, and Grace went off to the kitchen. Dishes were her chore, after all. Mom glanced to make sure that Grace was out of earshot before turning back to talk to me. “There’s some laundry for you to grab from the basement.” “OK.” I figured that’s where my bedding would still be, as Mom had taken in downstairs to get washed last night. I went back to looking at my phone. “Maddy,” my dad said. “Yes?” “Your mom asked you to do something.” No, she didn’t. She just said my bedding was in the basement. Oh. It hadn’t dawned on me immediately that she had said that to let me know she expected me to go and deal with it right away. Why couldn’t she just tell me what she wanted directly? “Oh, yeah. I’m on it.” I stood up from the couch. Then, I remembered there was something I had told my friends I was going to ask Mom. May as well get it over with. “Hey, Mom, can I ask you a question?” “Sure.” “We were wanting to go to the mall after lunch.” Mom didn’t need an explanation of who I was going to be going with. That could only mean Angie and Emma. “You think you could take us?” “Sorry,” Mom said. “But I’m taking your brother to a birthday party for one of his friends from school. Maybe another time.” I looked over at Dad. “It is a nice day out.” I just stared at him. That wasn’t an answer. Dad finally elaborated on his response. “That means I’m sure there are better things to do than stay inside all day.” “Fine,” I said in defeat. I trudged off toward the laundry room. “Oh, and Maddy, don’t forget to clean the cat litter while you’re down there,” Mom called out after me. <><><> I decided that I was glad we only had one cat as I finished scooping out the litter box. I wrinkled my nose as I tied up the bag and tossed it into a garbage bin. Still, it certainly beat having a dog. No way was I going to go around picking up poop off the ground every day. With that chore done, I turned to the more embarrassing task. My bedding was still in the dryer. It must not have finished long ago, because the sheets were slightly warm as I scooped them up into my arms. Grace was still washing dishes when I came up from the basement. Thankfully, she was too focused on her task to turn and look at what I was doing. I knew that part of the family room was also visible from the top of the basement stairs, but I intentionally didn’t look in that direction. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with my parents, not as they knew exactly why all the bedding had needed to be washed this morning. Jackson was too busy watching Saturday morning cartoons to pay any attention to me, and he was too young to draw any inferences from seeing me carry my bedding back to my bedroom so soon after having gotten out of bed. I walked as quickly and as quietly as I could to the staircase that led to the second floor. I shut my bedroom door behind me and dropped all of my bedding in a heap on the floor. I breathed a sigh of relief. How many more times would I need to go through this charade? Were my acting skills up to the task? I think I had Mom and Dad fooled so far. I’d gone off script last night with my inability to tell my parents that I had wet the bed, but that only added to the obvious shame that I had to have been showing. They had to have believed it was a real bedwetting accident. But how many nights and days were going to have to pass before this could settle into what would be a much simpler routine? Faking bedwetting while wearing a pull-up was going to be a lot easier. These late nights and sneaking around to bring my laundry back to my bedroom weren’t going to be sustainable. I needed pull-ups. And I needed them now. A thought did cross my mind. Maybe after one or two more nights of bedwetting, if my parents hadn’t purchased pull-ups for me by then, I could go ahead and ask them to get some for me. But that wasn’t going to happen. If I wasn’t even capable of verbally admitting that I had wet the bed, there was absolutely no way that I could somehow manage to ask them to purchase pull-ups for me. Besides, I had already ruled out that course of action. I couldn’t give them any hints that I somehow wanted to wear pull-ups. But there wasn’t any other option of getting pull-ups other than the path I had already set myself on last night. Plus, the worst of it was already over. I wasn’t going to have to do anything tonight that I hadn’t already proven that I was capable of doing. I knew I could make myself pee in bed. I knew I could endure the humiliation of walking over to my parents’ bedroom to inform them of the accident. I knew I could get past the embarrassment of having to help my mom strip off the bedding and hand her my wet clothes to bring down to the wash. I could deal with needing to bring my bedding back to my room while trying to avoid catching my sister’s attention. All I had to do was keep my eye on the prize. I crawled onto the uncovered mattress and leaned over to where I had peed on the bed last night. There didn’t appear to be any obvious stains. I leaned in and took a sniff. Didn’t smell bad, either. Whatever cleaning stuff Mom had used obviously worked well. What was it that she had said last night? Oh yes, that it hadn’t been the first time when she had needed to get up in the middle of the night to deal with a wet bed. I suspected some of the cleaning solutions might be leftovers from when Grace had been a bedwetter herself. I had just finished making the bed when there was a knock at the door. I knew it was my sister. Jackson would just burst in right after knocking, and my parents would announce that it was them. “Come in.” “I can take you to the mall,” Grace said as she peered her head in through the open door. That got my attention. But that raised a whole host of questions. Chiefly, why in the world would my older sister volunteer for a task that she disliked so much? Grace stepped into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. “So,” my older sister said, lowering her voice to just barely above a whisper. “About that favor I wanted from you yesterday.” --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com
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  32. Chapter 91: Twinning I DIDN’T NEED a wardrobe change, but I figured a bathroom break was a good idea. I followed Beth back, and Gary ended up helping me out of the diaper and back in it afterward. Beth was in Isabella’s hands then as they styled her hair to match mine as closely as possible. The dress I wore looked identical to hers, just a smaller size. Both fell to just below our knees, which was unusually long of a dress for an adopted and babied Little. I realized they must have done a cut on Beth’s hair, too, so we matched even there. “You all cut her hair?” I asked Gary as I waited for them to finish. “Will we have to reshoot the other scenes she’s been in?” He shook his head, “She had her hair in pigtails for those, so other than the bangs, you can see nothing different there. It’s been a few days in time since her problem at the daycare. From a continuity perspective, it’s very possible she got a haircut. We’ll just go with it.” I nodded and felt a little more uneasy about the whole thing. “Carly?” I heard. “We’re going to begin filming while they finish with Beth.” Sebastian’s voice came over an intercom in the wardrobe area. “Wardrobe, heard,” Gary called back. “Time to skidaddle?” he smiled at me. I walked up to Charlotte, and she picked me up and stood outside the ‘door’ in the receptionist area. Ava scurried over and brought a pacifier she gently placed inside my mouth. I gave it a hesitant bite and a suckle, surprised by how comfortable it was inside my mouth and fearing it could be one of those inflating pacifiers I’d seen being used. Across from the door was a counter. The side wall showed a door to the daycare, and then the wall to the other side was open for cameras. “Quiet on the set!!!” we heard a moment later before “Action!” was called, and Charlotte entered the door. Charlotte walked up to where Amelia seemed to be chewing gum and working on the computer. “Well, hello there, Miss Ingels! I didn’t know you had another baby girl?” She stood up and greeted us, “She’s so adorable!!!” Charlotte bounced me up and down lightly and ran a hand through my hair before saying, “Well, baby Brianna just joined the family this morning! She’s actually a bit of a surprise for Callie?” Amelia said, “Oh?” with a smile, “She doesn’t know yet?” She almost squealed with glee. “Not yet!” she bounced me again and said, “I’m hoping maybe Brianna can help Callie get the hang of the big girl potty?” “Aww! We have a new buddy, huh?” I knew the script called for Charlotte to blush, but I wasn’t supposed to look at her. I found myself leaning my head on her shoulder as I sucked on the pacifier, though she said, “Yeah.” Amelia squealed, “Let me get little Miss Callie up here to meet her! I love seeing families grow!” Charlotte set me on my feet, and I heard, “Cut!” “How was that?” I asked. “Great, your lines were perfect,” Charlotte joked. “Actually, I loved it when you leaned into Sarah there!” Sebastian said. “Charlotte, did you have any issues? Honestly, I’m okay with that take right now?” “I am, but why don’t we do it again one more time just for safety’s sake. It’s a short scene…” She ran her hand back through my hair again, “Actually… Amelia, you’re not an acting major, but you come across with great instincts. How about we toss the script away and reshoot it without it?” “Huh?” She asked. “Kelly wrote some okay lines, but I think we could do better?” “Okay?” “And you,” she said, “I don’t want you silent the whole time. Callie isn’t going to come out with a pacifier in her mouth right then, so let’s have you without yours, and you actually respond to something?” I shrugged, “Okay? Respond how?” “However you feel in the moment?” Charlotte said. “We may never use this footage, or it may, in fact, be the best thing we shoot?” I nodded at that, “Okay.” “Places!” Sebastian said. Charlotte picked me up, placed me on her hip, and put the pacifier I’d been using in the hands of another crew member. “Let’s try this again,” she said with a smile. The call to action came, and we walked through the doors with me on her hip. “Well, hello, Miss Ingels! And who might this adorable princess be?” She smiled. Charlotte bounced me up and down, “Well, tell her what your name is, sweetie?” I leaned in on her body and said, “Brianna,” quietly. “Oh my, what a beautiful name for such a pretty little girl!” She said with a smile. “And how old are you?” “Twenty-four,” I said. “Oh my gosh! Twenty-four months?!? You’re almost two years old?!?” I blushed at that, even as she reached across the counter and booped my nose. “That’s great! You’re big enough to come here now!” she smiled. Charlotte laughed at that, “Almost, but not quite yet. Maybe in a couple months.” “I didn’t know you had adopted?” Amelia asked. “Just adopted this little princess today!” “Oh my gosh! Congratulations!!! I’m sure Callie will be so excited to have a baby sister!” Charlotte squeezed me tighter, “Well, hopefully, she’ll also be excited to learn how to use the potty with her.” “Oh…” Amelia forced her eyes open. “Do we have a new buddy joining us to help Miss Callie?” “That’s the plan,” Charlotte said. “And she doesn’t know she’s getting a new baby sister?” “Nope, it’s a surprise!” “Oh my gosh! I’ll get them to bring her down so they can meet. I’m going to make sure I can record it, though! I can’t wait to see how excited she gets!!!” “I just hope she gets excited about using the potty,” Charlotte said almost under her breath. “Cut!” I heard Sebastian say. “What did you think?” Charlotte asked. “Much better, that’s what we’ll use!” Sebastian said. “I agree,” Will added. “Is Beth ready?” Sebastian asked over the intercom. “On her way, sorry, the hair took longer to sort out than I expected.” I turned towards the wardrobe area and saw Beth step out wearing the nearly identical dress. The diaper she wore was covered by the skirt, but you could tell by the waddle and the faint crinkling as she drew nearer that a diaper was worn underneath. Anyone seeing us would be sure they saw a pair of sisters. ‘They’d probably think the baby sister was so happy to look just like big sis!’ I thought. “Okay, I know I shouldn’t say this, but you both look absolutely adorable together!” Amelia said. “No, you probably shouldn’t,” Sebastian agreed. “They do look cute, though; it will play well on the camera. Let’s get this show back rolling, everyone. I’m sure Carly would like to return to her normal self as soon as possible, and I’m sure Beth would like to have her hair fixed back to normal, too! Places everyone!” We both nodded and agreed and took our places. When we began filming again, Charlotte placed me on my feet on the ground beside her. The door opened, and a blur ran past, “Mommy!!!!!” Beth said as she ran happily to Charlotte. Charlotte picked her up and said, “Hi, Princess! Did you have a good day?” “Uh-huh!” She said, “We played house today! I got to be the mommy!” “You’ll have to tell me all about it on the way home, but first, I have someone I want you to meet!” Charlotte placed Beth down on the ground to look at me now. Beth said, “Who are you? You look just like me!” I fidgeted but waved and said, “Hi, Callie, I’m Brianna.” “She looks like you too, mommy!” Beth said. Charlotte knelt beside us, placing a comforting arm around each of our shoulders. “Well, she should, sweetie, because she’s your new sister!” Beth, Charlotte, and I had practiced this a little off to the side, and Charlotte had insisted Beth wait about four seconds longer than she thought she should. While she reached that count, Charlotte and I watched her, holding our breath, seemingly waiting to see if a bomb was about to explode. Finally, she began jumping up and down like a little kid with too much sugar in their blood, “Yay!!! I have a sister!!!!!” We were both held in an embrace for a few moments before she ran her hands over her face, then down our backs comfortingly, before she scooped us both up into her arms and held us on either side of her body. “I never had a chance to look at the TykeCare App. Did Callie try to use the potty at all today?” Amelia moved back to a tablet and pressed on it for a second. I knew the screen displayed the stat for Callie for the hours she’d been there. “No, she’s had three wet diapers and one poopie, but no potty tries. In her room, we don’t exactly encourage any, though?” Charlotte sighed, squeezed us both, and then replied to Amelia, “I know they’re more focused on baby care; just checking. I need to get these two girls home, feed them dinner, and let them play a bit before night-night time. We probably won’t return with them until my maternity leave ends.” “Sounds good! Oh, and I’ll email you here in a bit,” she waved her phone. “Bye-bye, Brianna! You’re going to love your new mommy and sister!” “Bye-bye!” Beth said even as we turned to leave out the door. “Cut!!!” BETH SIGHED FROM her perch in Charlotte’s arms as she asked, “Can we be put down for a moment?” Charlotte laughed, “Sure, Beth, my arms will appreciate it too!” Beth was grateful to be on her feet as Sebastian approached the trio. “So?” She asked him. “It honestly was probably better than anything the other groups will do…” Sebastian said. “Which means not good enough?” Charlotte laughed. “Okay, what do we need to do differently?” “Well, first, I think we need to get a couple of the HoloWorkers to watch the meeting and add some ‘awws’ to the mix in the background?” Charlotte nodded, “Yeah, I think this would be too cute to miss.” “I think you also need to just hug Beth on the floor, don’t stand up with her. It was a little awkward with the cameras refocusing on the two?” “Speaking of that, Sebastian, if we’re doing this again, I need five minutes to readjust the cameras?” “Go for it!” He told him. Sebastian looked thoughtful then. “Well, I have a note for what I saw,” Charlotte said. “Carly, you looked way too comfortable when Beth hugged you. Let’s get some awkwardness? Can you make yourself stiff as a board when she hugs you?” “Sure…?” Connor said. ‘Carly…’ Beth yelled at herself. Nothing in the last few hours had done anything to make Beth think ‘Connor’ was unhappy about being changed into ‘Carly.’ If anything, she seemed more relaxed? “Beth, let’s get you a stuffed animal to hold when you run out. I know the script called for Brianna to have a pacifier here, but I don’t want them in the way when she talks. Same for you…” “I’ve got a spare stuffed rabbit in the back?” Ben said. “We grabbed a bargain bin of things from Professor Wyler this week?” “Perfect!” Sebastian said. “Okay then, reset, and we’ll do this again!” Beth sighed but did everything she could to hopefully make it just one more take! Unfortunately, it took three more, and she was dying to use the restroom when they were done. She must not have been the only one because Charlotte and Sebastian had everyone take a break for lunch then. She’d enlisted Charlotte’s help to get her and Connor out of the diapers so they could both use the potty and then joined them for lunch. Throughout the day, Nikki had done her best just to blend into the background. She was always watching, but if Beth didn’t know who she was, she might have thought she was a random AI character. They had been going for seven hours at this point, and she was beginning to feel a little sympathy for the salaries her favorite actresses like Charlotte made! When they resumed filming, they breezed through several scenes with fewer takes per scene than they had been doing. Beth wasn’t sure if that was impatience to be done or just that Sebastian and Charlotte really felt like they were less important. The unfortunate part of them breezing through some less traumatic scenes was that they were also closing in on the worst of them rather quickly! They had just been filmed climbing the staircase to the playroom with Beth pulling Carly along and stopping.” “Okay, this scene will take a bit more setup time here,” Will told Sebastian. “We need to get both girls loaded with PooPloders now.” “Gary?” Sebastian called out. “On it, Seb!” Gary said and then pulled us both into the wardrobe area. Beth had been through the process before, but this would be Connor… Carly’s first time. Gary seemed to be thinking the same thing, “Beth, you want to hit the restroom, and then we’ll get you loaded first?” She nodded, “Probably a good idea!” He smiled down at her, knelt at her level, pulled the tapes loose, and patted her on the shoulder. Go ahead!” Beth wished it was that simple right then, but she had to do a bit of gymnastics with the body suit to keep it out of the way to pee. Even then, a single drop didn’t entirely wipe off when she wiped, making her blush! Carly switched places with her in the bathroom while Gary picked her up and placed a diaper underneath her bottom. “Just a heads up, this one will be a little bit more than the one we used before.” “Why?” She asked. “We need it to look both wet and poopy; we’re also going for a little bigger mess for the cameras?” She sighed, “Got it. Hopefully, we can do this scene once!” He laughed, “Don’t hope too much; it’ll cause it to be fifteen times!” “Bite your tongue…” she told him a little more tersely than he probably deserved. Carly exited the bathroom right as he held the PooPloder in his hand. “What exactly is it?” she asked Gary. Embarrassingly, he stopped doing what he was doing and showed the device to her. “This part will spray a special vapor that will react with the diaper’s absorbent core and make it look like a full bladder of fluid has been released into the diaper. We’re also going to pre-spray this diaper with some of that because Callie definitely wouldn’t last from her last daycare change through then without going a little pee-pee.” It was good that Carly was on the ground; she couldn’t see Beth turning redder than a fire truck right then! “And the other side?” “That’s the poopy side, we place each about where they would come out on the bodysuit, and then it means it looks like a convincingly loaded diaper.” “What’s the fake poop feel like?” Connor asked. “Sticky horrible goop,” Beth sighed. “Let’s get her taken care of, then we’ll get you set, and then you’ll get to figure it out yourself in a few minutes,” Gary said with a bit of a chuckle. “I agree with Beth, though; it’s pretty horrible. The only positive thing is it doesn’t smell.” Beth sat as still as she could as Gary pressed the PooPloder against her bodysuit, and it stuck in place. It was horrifying to be touched there, but she at least knew from the past week that Gary had no desire for anything she had. ‘And I think he’s a good enough guy to keep it professional anyway,’ she had to admit. He was very gentle as he taped the new diaper shut, and she realized it was already treated and expanded from the fake urine. “Eew,” she said. “Sorry,” Gary said. “At least it’s not water or something we poured down there? Or the old days when they would pump you full of fluid and hope you peed when they needed you to?” He had taped the trigger button for her unit inside her palm and covered it with some SkinSync makeup that hid it. “You’re not making this any better,” she told him as he lifted her and sat her on the floor. He laughed good-naturedly then and picked up Carly, standing her on the table first. “Okay, I mentioned I wanted to make sure we just had you wear the diaper earlier so you didn’t have any strikes, but a set of undergarments has to be under this to stick to it. Pull this up your waist,” he said to her. Beth saw what looked like a body shaper handed to her. It was a dead ringer for her skin color, and once it was in place, it looked like she was still naked unless you looked closely. ‘Like mine,’ she admitted. With that, she was pushed onto her back like Beth had been, and Gary started to apply the PooPloder. “Umm…” Carly said as Gary began. “Yes?” “Does it have to be you who does this?” “Pretty much?” Gary paused, “Why?” “I’m just… it feels…” “Violating?” He asked. Carly nodded, and Beth felt her own nod. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the 'Like' button and leave me a comment! I am looking for the requisite likes to post on Sunday! I most likely won't have a third bonus chapter this week. After this week I'm hoping to get into a bit more serious of a rhythm of writing again. I'm working on Chapter 108 right now, so I definitely will make it to a full year of posting every week here a few weeks! (First time I've not had a bit of downtime at least at some point!) Thanks again for reading my works! Please consider purchasing a copy of my completed works from Amazon if you enjoy them! Having a small source of extra income there helps me keep the spare time to write for you all! https://www.amazon.com/author/babysofia
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  33. Chapter 4: Unless I Knock I really hadn’t thought this through as well as I should have. I continued to stare down at the massive wet spot underneath me on the bed. The urine had spread out in a puddle around me. I could feel the wetness beneath me from my knees to my toes as my bare skin pressed against where the urine had soaked through the sheets. It was still warm, though not quite as warm as it had been in the seconds after I had finished peeing. I couldn’t bring myself to move. I had attempted to inch away at first, but that only accentuated the feeling of the wetness against my skin. I did not like that sensation at all. I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled slowly. I had done it. Actually done it. I hadn’t chickened out this time. This next week was going to be the worst of it. I was going to need to keep doing this until my parents decided to purchase pull-ups for me. And that was something that had to be their decision. No twelve-year-old, even one who would be far better off wearing pull-ups to bed, would be actively asking their parents to purchase them for her. That meant Mom and Dad would need to arrive at the decision on their own, without anything but the most subtle of hints from me. As I sat uncomfortably on what couldn’t actually be described as an accident, I now fully understood why my two younger cousins had no issues with their parents buying them pull-ups to wear to bed. For the longest time, I had struggled to understand why someone who was just a regular bedwetter – not someone like myself who actually wanted to wear diapers for the sake of wearing them – would be OK with doing so at night. The proof was right underneath me. There couldn’t be any way that someone would prefer going through this every night rather than wearing a pull-up or diaper to bed. There couldn’t be any question that having an accident contained in a pull-up would be preferable to having to deal with soaked pajamas and bedding in the middle of the night. I couldn’t just continue to sit in the middle of the bed. I inched over to the side of the bed, leaving a trail of wet spots across the sheets as I moved away from the nucleus of the fake bedwetting accident. I reached to the side of the bed, where I could barely make out the outline of the lamp sitting on the nightstand. My hands fumbled across it in the dark for a few seconds before they came across the light switch. I averted my eyes, shielding them from the blinding light with my arm. Then I opened my eyes again. The damage was far worse than it had appeared when I had wet the bed in darkness. My light pink sheets only made the location of the accident more apparent. And I had indeed left a trail of wetness over to where I was sitting next to the lamp. The bottom of my light blue cotton pajama shorts were completely soaked, as was the underwear beneath them. Even my T-shirt hadn’t been completely spared. The bottom of it must have touched a wet spot on the bed as I had gone to turn the lamp on, as there were some wet spots on the bottom of the shirt as well. I had known the process of faking bedwetting to get pull-ups wasn’t going to be pretty, but even then, the reality of what it was going to entail hadn’t really sunk in until now. But now what? My initial plan had been to wet the bed in the morning, but I had worried that might not be a good idea. There were several problems I found with that option. The first was that all the wet spots on the bedding would still be warm; it would look a lot more like I had peed a few minutes ago than having had an accident in the middle of the night. Too suspicious. The second issue with that idea was how it would be much harder to conceal the bedwetting from Grace and Jackson. They would both be awake, and it would be much more likely that they would come across wet laundry being hauled down to the laundry room or eavesdrop on a conversation about bedwetting between me and our parents. That meant that a nighttime accident was necessary, and I would need to proactively inform my parents about it. How in the world was I supposed to begin that conversation? Hey, Mom and Dad, it’s me. Maddy. You know, your twelve-year-old daughter who has never wet the bed before. About that. I just pissed all over my pajamas and bed just now while I was asleep. Sorry about that. Can you help me get cleaned up? Just another thing I hadn’t thought through. But I was going to have to do it, and soon. I stifled a yawn. I couldn’t risk falling asleep and being forced to attempt to stealthily hide my wet bedding from my siblings while also informing my parents of the accident. I just had to trust that my parents would show the same amount of discretion in handling my bedwetting as they had done for my older sister. I grabbed a dry portion of the bed cover and used it to wipe off my feet and legs before getting off of the bed. It wasn’t super bad to walk in wet shorts, but the wet underwear beneath them clung to me uncomfortably as I retrieved my phone, turning on its flashlight function as I turned off the bedroom lamp. I had to nudge Chester back into the hallway with my foot as I creaked open the door. The stupid cat would probably accidentally end up in my wet bedding if I let him in. It was bad enough that I was probably going to need to get in the shower. The one time we’d had to bathe that poor cat gave me no desire to have to do it again. I shut the bedroom door behind me as I entered the hallway. A few seconds later, I was standing in front of my parents’ closed bedroom door. I couldn’t bring myself to even gently tap on the door, let alone knock on it enough to wake them up. But the longer I waited, the more likely it was that one of my siblings might get up to use the restroom or get a late-night sip of water. I silently went through a half-dozen variations of what I could say to my parents. I wasn’t happy with any of them. The truth was that I wasn’t going to find the right thing to say. There wasn’t any possible way to explain the situation to my parents that wasn’t completely and utterly humiliating. My thoughts drifted back to the magazine under the bed. This was the price I had to pay to get my pull-ups. I hoped it would be worth it. I reached out and pressed the palm of my right hand against the door. The door wasn’t locked, but I knew better than to open it without their permission. I pulled my hand back a few inches and then did what could be most accurately described as a few soft pats on the door. In the silence of the night, the sound of my palm on the wood door seemed to reverberate through the hallway. But I knew I hadn’t actually made enough noise to wake anyone up, whether that was my siblings or my parents. I closed my hand into a fist. I couldn’t bring myself to knock on the door. I thought of a desperate plan to turn back. I could sneak down to the basement. I knew for a fact that the washer and dryer weren’t audible from the second-floor bedrooms. I could get everything washed and dried. I could remake the bed. No one would be any bit the wiser to what had occurred. I would be exhausted the next morning. But it was Saturday. I could sleep in. I shook my head. That was how this always went. I couldn’t let myself get turned aside, not after everything I’d done. I tried to build an image in my head of what my life would be like next week. Mom would have purchased a small package of pull-ups for me. I would have pretended to be embarrassed about using them, but would have reluctantly agreed to do so in the end. I would be lying in bed, wearing them in place of my underwear. I certainly wouldn’t have any pajama shorts over them. No, I would want to be able to see the colorful design, run my hand against the crinkly exterior. Even three years later, I could still longingly recall exactly how that had felt, along with the padding that so comfortably fit between my legs. And then, when I was wetting myself in bed, it would all be contained. I wanted ever so badly to know what that felt like. None of that was going to happen unless I knocked. No matter how embarrassing the next week was going to be, it would all pass. And I would get what I wanted. I rapped my knuckles on the door several times. I winced at the sound it made, but there was no way around it. I paused, listening first for any sounds from behind the door and then from further down the hallway where my siblings were sleeping. Nothing from either one of them. I rapped my hands again on the door. This time a little harder than before. And this time, there was a result. I thought I heard something creaking from beyond the door. Then a hushed conversation. Then a couple of footsteps. Then the door opened. I didn’t have to fake the shame and embarrassment I felt as the bedroom door creaked open to reveal Mom standing in front of me in a nightgown, with the dim light of my phone illuminating her face. My hands were trembling as I looked at her. Through the gap in the door, I could see Dad, who was still in bed. He was also craning his head to get a look at me. “Is everything alright?” Mom asked. She didn’t sound as though she was fully awake yet. “I… I…” The beginning of my planned response drifted off into nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words. It turned out that I didn’t have to. My face burned as Mom’s eyes drifted away from mine and down toward my waist. There was no immediate verbal reaction to what she was seeing, but her eyes told the story that her lips didn’t. Her eyes blinked rapidly a couple of times and then widened, staring at my shorts for several seconds before breaking away to look back at me. I couldn’t meet her eyes this time. I focused instead on the sash of her nightgown. Mom turned around and motioned for Dad to get back into bed. “It’s OK, honey. I’ve got it.” She stepped out next to me in the hallway, pulling the bedroom door shut behind her. “Let’s go and get everything cleaned up,” Mom said as she began to walk toward my bedroom. Even though I’d had some light from the lamp and my phone, my eyes still weren’t prepared for how bright the room suddenly got when Mom flipped on the light switch to my room. Mom took a deep breath as she surveyed the bedroom. “You have one of those dreams where you thought you were sitting on the toilet?” “Yeah,” I muttered. I didn’t even know that was a thing. But it seemed like a believable lie to go along with. “Well, it happens,” Mom said. She didn’t sound upset. Just tired. “I’ll take care of getting the bedding in the wash, but you need to get yourself cleaned up as well once you’ve helped me get the bedding stripped.” I tossed all of my pillows to the floor. They, thankfully, had been completely spared. Mom didn’t say anything further as she helped me strip the bed. The cover hadn’t gotten all that wet, just a little bit from where it had gotten tossed in the wet bedding and used to dry myself off. The same couldn’t be said for the rest of the bedding. The sheets were very soaked. There was a thin cotton mattress protector beneath the sheets. Also soaked. And then there was the mattress itself. The wet spot on it was as bad as I had feared, considering how wet all the bedding had been. I really hoped that I hadn’t ruined it. Though, on the other hand, that type of damage might spur my parents on to get me pull-ups a lot more quickly. Mom had wrapped the sheets and mattress protector in the much dryer cover and was holding it all in her arms. “One more thing, Maddy. I need to wash your clothes as well. Just take them off in the bathroom, and then you can inch the door open a little bit to hand your wet pajamas to me. I need to put them in the wash with all of your bedding. And you need to get cleaned up in the shower before getting dressed again for bed.” I hastily grabbed some underwear and clean pajamas from the dresser and retreated into the bathroom. I grimaced as I pulled off my wet shorts and underwear. I had forgotten how much I disliked the sensation of wet fabric on my skin. Per Mom’s instructions, I slid my wet clothes through a slightly open door. I winced at the thought of Mom having to pick them up as if she wasn’t already holding plenty of evidence of my supposed bedwetting accident. I turned on the shower, adjusting the shower head so that the water was coming out at an angle that would allow me to step into the shower and wash my midsection without getting my hair wet. I hated going to bed with wet hair, and I wasn’t going to use a loud hairdryer at this time of night. There wasn’t much that could wake up either Jackson or Grace, but the hair dryer might be loud enough to do so. The last thing I needed was for either of them to be wondering why I had been up taking a shower at this time of the night. Since I wasn’t washing my hair, it only took me a couple of minutes to get scrubbed down. I washed as thoroughly as I could, eager to get every trace of urine off of my skin. Once I had pull-ups to wear to bed, that wouldn’t be a problem. Those would actually be able to absorb everything. I could see the light coming into the hallway from my open bedroom door as I stepped out of the bathroom. I walked slowly through the hallway in a conscious effort to not create any more noise than I had made already. Mom was patting the mattress dry with paper towels. There were two bottles of cleaning sprays on the nightstand, along with a rather sizable pile of wet, discarded paper towels. A bit of guilt ran through me at the sight of Mom cleaning up after my mess. None of this was fair to her. I grabbed a handful of paper towels off of the roll and leaned over the mattress next to Mom, pressing the towels against a wet spot that now gave off the harsh scene of cleaning chemicals. “I’m sorry,” I mumbled as I pressed another wad of paper towels into the mattress. Mom took a break from patting the mattress dry and rubbed my back. “Don’t worry about it, Maddy. You were asleep. It wasn’t your fault. Besides, it’s not like it is the first time I’ve had to clean up a mattress in the middle of the night.” I knew she was referring to my older sister, but as eager as I was for more details about Grace’s past bedwetting, I couldn’t bring myself to ask Mom some more questions. Besides, I doubted I would get any more answers than on that day when I had accidentally found out about my sister’s bedwetting. We went through a couple dozen more paper towels before Mom stepped back from the bed and turned to look at me. “Well, I think your mattress will survive. But it still needs to dry some more. I set up your sleeping bag on the floor.” I had been so focused on helping Mom clean the mattress that I hadn’t noticed the dark purple sleeping bag that had been unrolled at the foot of the bed. It was all set up for me to crawl into. And, of course, Chester was already curled up on top of it. For a dumb cat, he could be pretty perceptive sometimes. I knelt down and slid into the cool sleeping bag, careful not to displace the cat. “I wouldn’t get too worked up about it,” Mom said quietly to me as she went to turn the light off. “I’m sure it’s just a one-time thing.” Her hand touched the switch. I was enveloped in darkness. If only she knew. --- Links to all my stories can be found at https://abdlwriter.wordpress.com
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  34. 1 point
  35. Chapter 40 Playdate day cam mid-week, and Stacy picked up Ella and Jamie mid-morning. She took most of the day off for it, excited for Ella to have someone she could talk to and play with who was just like her, an unregressed little. Ella hadn’t had any contact other than written with a normal human since her rescue, and Stacy was sure it would be good for her. Stacy had an unusual relationship with Ella. As a rescue, Ella had choices. She could have gone home, she could have stayed in Itali as an independent little supported by the state, or she could adopt herself out. For a year months after her rescue, as Ella underwent surgeries and recovered her ability to move on her own, slowly and with pain, she was a ward of the state. Complicating matters was the context of Ella’s presence in the dimension. Given what had happened to her and what choices she had available, the law was ambiguous on whether Ella was able to maybe any choice free of the coercion of her circumstances. Thus surrendering her rights by putting herself up for adoption did not necessarily square with either the spirit or letter of the law. It was a matter of interpretation up to the authorities of whether she was able to consent or not. Arguing in favor of staying as a dependent little, as Ella saw her choices, were that she did not want to – indeed, was afraid to – go home; the knowledge that life as an independent little supported by the state would be difficult and alienating, leaving her dependent on an ad hoc network of social workers, medical professional, and what friends she could cobble together into a family; and the support – financial, emotional, physical – she could receive as an adopted little. The part of her brain that would never feel safe again also argued she was safer as someone’s little since guardianship conferred a layer of protection. But Ella was not interested in surrendering herself wholly into the arms of a big once more. She needed a big who was interested in Ella as a person, not just as a little, and who would respect the circumstances of Ella’s life in the dimension and her history before and since arriving in Itali. A friend with the Administration for Littles within the Health Ministry initially approached Stacy about the prospect of taking Ella in. Stacy had expressed some interest to her friend in adopting a little, but some trepidation as well. The friend sold the idea to Stacy as being different in fact, if not legally, than a traditional big-little relationship. While she would be Ella’s guardian, their relationship would not neatly align with constructs like big-little or parent-child. But neither were they lovers, siblings, roommates, and they were obviously more than friends. Ultimately, an arrangement was made by which Stacy would foster Ella on behalf of the state, and if after some period all three parties agreed to an adoption, Stacy would legally adopt Ella as her little, and whatever that meant in practice was between the two of them. What began as a caregiver relationship turned into a friendship and grew increasingly intimate until, for those who didn’t know better or didn’t see them when they were alone, appeared to be a typical big-little relationship, but in which Stacy granted Ella a good deal more autonomy for Ella to make her own decisions about herself, her body, her time, and the limitations of Stacy’s own authority. Jamie only knew Stacy to look at. Stacy knew only what Ella told her about Jamie: he was unregressed, but he was fully and formally adopted. “I borrowed a car seat from our neighbor, Jamie. I hope it fits well enough for you,” Stacy said as she buckled him in after she’d helped Ella in. “I’m sure it will be fine,” he said. “Thank you.” The ride to Ella’s house was longer than the ride to his own. They passed out of the suburbs and into the exurbs. Their home was on a large piece of land, not large enough for a farm but large enough that they couldn’t see their neighbors from the driveway. Jamie felt self-conscious being a guest in someone’s home, something he hadn’t done much of and not in these circumstances in a long time. He reminded himself to be on his best behavior. Ella took Jamie into their living room while Stacy made them lunch. The living room had a little-sized couch that Jamie was glad to sit on. Clambering up everything had lost its novelty. “So,” Jamie asked, “What do you want to do after lunch?” “It’ll be naptime, and then I don’t know.” Ella sat in a high chair for lunch while Jamie managed from a regular chair with a stack of books on it. Lunch was light and simple: bread, cheese, fruit, and some sliced, fresh meat. Jamie made sure to say thank you several times and tell Stacy how good it all was. When lunch was finished, Stacy sent the two of them to Ella’s room, promising shed be in shortly. The room surprised Jamie; Ella saw it on his face. “Not what you expected?” “Well, uh, I like it.” Ella was sure he was just saying that. “You didn’t expect the nursery motif.” “Well, no. I thought Stacy would have chosen …” “I chose it. I like it this way.” Jamie noted the pink and the yellow and wallpaper with the cloud border under the crown molding, the strip of baby animal paper in lieu of a chair rail, a white glider chair, a mobile over the crib, and changing table much like his own. Jamie was surprised she’d choose to decorate it this way given she was unregressed and hadn’t chosen to be here. At the same time, the room was also more like a studio apartment compared to Jamie’s. Her crib was bigger, she had a TV, and there was an en suite bathroom built to her size. Jamie was especially jealous of the bathroom. Just a sink he could get to without help would be nice. “Alright, littles,” Stacy said when she came in, “Let’s see how well this works with two of you.” She was holding two bottles, which made both Ella and Jamie blush. She sat down in the glider, and Ella walked over to her. Stacy very gently lifted Ella and very gently set her back down on her lap. Jamie figured he should approach her as well, and she did the same, though she was gentler with him than she needed to be. She was used to Ella’s special needs. “Say ‘ahh,’” Stacy joked, and in a moment she had two littles drinking from two bottles while sitting on her thighs. Ella laid back right away, but Jamie didn’t feel comfortable doing that just yet. He leaned back a little but mostly supported his own weight. He didn’t want to presume. “You okay there, Jamie,” Stacy asked. “You look a little uncomfortable.” He bashfully eased himself back, but not completely. The formula was a different brand than he was used to, but it had the same effect of making him feel fuzzy and sleepy. When each bottle was only half gone, Stacy removed them. “Let’s save a little in case you wake up thirsty during nap time.” She set them both on the floor. “I don’t have PJs that will work for you, Jamie. Can you sleep in just a tee shirt?” “Um, yes,” he said, not really wanting to be half naked with Ella, but not wanting to disagree with anything in Stacy’s house. She helped him out of his shoes and pants and turned to Ella, as usual wearing a dress. Stacy didn’t seem to think anything of it, and Jamie could sense would happen next, so he got out of the way and turned around. Stacy set Ella in the crib and undressed her there, a safer place where Ella didn’t have to try to balance on one foot while Stacy helped her. From there, Stacy moved her to the changing table and put her into a clean diaper followed by pajama shorts and a top. When Jamie turned around, she in the crib with a pacifier in her mouth, much to his surprise. She was blushing again. “Your turn,” Stacy said. She lifted him up onto the table, and Jamie once again felt himself blush as so few people, all of whom Jamie was close with now, had done this. With the changing table facing away from the crib, all Ella could see was the top of Jamie’s head, but if she had been able to see more, she wouldn’t have turned away. Modesty wasn’t a trait left in her after everything she had endured. “At home Ella wears cloth diapers,” Stacy explained. “Do you want to give those a try?” Jamie didn’t want to refuse anything offered or dispute, and he also didn’t really care. He nodded. In a two minutes, Stacy had him pinned into two diapers with a soaker pad down the middle. She then threaded plastic panties up his legs and tucked the diapers in all around. When she picked him up, he could feel the much greater bulk between his legs and under his butt. It was nice in a way. She set him in the crib saying, “I hope you two don’t mind sharing a crib. If you need anything, Jamie, the little monitor is on.” She went into a drawer and came up with a pacifier for Jamie. “You guys all set?” “Mhmm,” Ella said. “Yes, Ma’am. Thank you.” “Don’t call me ‘ma’am,” Stacy said with a laugh. “I’m not old.” She turned off the light and closed the door. Jamie looked at Ella, red faced again, and she shrugged and laid down. Jamie would have liked to use the time to talk, though what about he wasn’t sure, but he followed suit and as soon asleep. He woke up with his pacifier was in his mouth and his diapers were wet and felt much heavier than his regular diapers. He didn’t remember doing either of those things. More surprising was that Ella was so close to him. They hadn’t exactly been spooning, but if they’d been caught doing that at summer camp someone would have been calling both their parents. Jamie looked Ella up and down. He was careful not to wake her up. She’d kicked the blanket off herself. She’d always been good looking, but what Jamie liked wasn’t that he was in bed with a woman but that he was in bed with a human. The almost-touch between them had an electric feeling to it that being in the same bed as Manda or being held by Mom didn’t have. This was a person his size, from the same world, from the same species, and the closest her had gotten to another human since Cheryl held his hand in the departure room. He also saw her scares more than he had when she’d shown them to him. They were hard to look at not because they were ugly – they were quite clean and narrow, obviously done by competent surgeons – but because he knew how she came to have them. He saw goosebumps on her upper arm and reached for the blanket, pulling it gently back over her. Despite his efforts he woke her. It startled him when she woke up and reached behind her before he realized she was awake. She found the little monitor and took the batteries out. “Hey,” he said. “Hey,” she responded, turning over to face Jamie and pulling the covers back over herself. “Now we can talk and she won’t think we’re ready to get up.” “We’re not ready to get up?” He felt rested. “We can, but this is private, right?” He saw her point. “I just thought you might like to not be interrupted. When was the last time you got to just talk with a person without being interrupted?” “A long time.” “Me too.” “So …” “So … how do you like the cloth diapers?” She was fishing for a topic. “Um, I like them alright. I liked them more when they were dry. I think. But this isn’t bad.” “It’s sort of like wearing real underwear, or feels like it at first because it’s cotton, and then not at all.” “Yeah, definitely. Also your choice?” “No, actually. Stacy wants to be more environmentally friendly. I only wear disposables when we leave the house.” “Do you have a preference?” “I like the cloth.” “Hmm.” “’Hmm?’” “Yeah, just ‘hmm.’” There was an awkward pause. “You’re wondering why she bottle fed and why I used a pacifier.” Jamie actually wasn’t. “Because I find them comforting and like bonding with Stacy that way, okay?” “Okay,” Jamie said, “It’s the same reason for me. You don’t need to feel defensive about it.” There was another awkward pause. “I drank breastmilk for the first time a couple days ago.” “You’re being nursed now?” “No, one of my Mom’s friends left me a bottle to try at our house.” “I remember that stuff.” “You’ve had it before.” “Yeah, straight from the boob of a monster. But I do miss that stuff.” She got a funny look in her eye. “Makes me antsy thinking about it.” “You don’t ever have it here? Amanda told me you can buy it from people.” “I save it for special occasions. I like it a little too much, if you know what I mean.” He didn’t. “You know what little food is like? Think of that like a lighter synthetic version. Whatever is in there can be pretty addictive.” “Is it bad for you? I’ve been figuring whatever is in little food has to be bad for you if it’s that good.” “No, it’s actually good for you, but you do find yourself getting a little jones going if you don’t get it on a regular schedule. Think of it like sugar: addictive, not acutely dangerous, and when you want a cookie you want a goddam cookie.” “I wonder what little cookies are like dipped in it.” “That is exactly what I mean. You going to start getting it?” “We talked about it, but we didn’t decide.” “I’ll just say it’s better to have it on hand, if you know what I mean, then getting it from someone else.” “I think I know what you mean,” he giggled. “You’re still embarrassed by stuff like that, huh?” “Well, yeah. You’re not?” “Littles in most other countries aren’t given the courtesy of modesty and aren’t expected to give it, either. I’ve seen and been seen doing and having done to me just about everything except sex. Hard to embarrass me now.” He smiled sheepishly at her. “I like this.” “What?” “Just talking with you, being close to you.” He felt her foot touch his under the blanket. When he didn’t pull it away, she ran her foot up his leg a little higher. “I get what you mean. It’s different somehow, than with Stacy or Carol.” “Yeah.” “I guess because we’re both humans. Like, your dog wants to snuggle with you, but they have an even more exuberant reaction to another dog.” The more he looked at her, the more Jamie desperately wanted to touch her. “Do you wanna …” he said, his desire overcoming his fear. “Just touch?” She sighed. “I was hoping you’d ask. I was afraid if I did it’d embarrass you or scare you away. He opened his arms and she inched closer to him so that they holding each other. “Wait,” she said. “Is it okay if I take my shirt off?” That did make Jamie blush every shade of red, but he nodded assent. Without getting out from the covers, she managed to take her shirt and shorts off. “You can, too, if you want.” He shakily took off his tee shirt, and the two of them moved back in their loose embrace. “Mmmmmm,” she said, “Human skin. I can’t believe how much I missed that.” Jamie acknowledged the same feeling, though he also knew it was a night-and-day comparison, his months to her years. She sighed deeply. “Mhmm,” Jamie responded, getting a little lost in the sensation. He didn’t care it was Ella; it could have been any human he had some affection for or even any human he didn’t. It was a human, and that was all that mattered. He started feeling warm and light and comfortable and sleepy again. When he woke up, Ella’s legs were intertwined with his own, and they had drawn close to one another, their bodies pressed together and hands around one another. Jamie realized his hand was on her thigh before he remembered to be embarrassed and concerned he unconsciously, literally, crossed a line. He moved it. “What’d you do that for,” Ella asked, her voice muffled by the covers. “Have you been awake this whole time?” “No. Maybe five minutes.” “We should get dressed before Stacy finds us this way.” “We’re not doing anything wrong.” “Yeah, but will she believe that?” “Even if we told her we had acrobatic monkey sex she wouldn’t care. For one, we’re adults, and for another, pregnancy is not an issue with me.” “Oh, sorry.” He felt very uncomfortable now. “Don’t be.” “Well, I’m not sure if I want to explain it to Mom, so I’d just as soon be found dressed if that’s okay.” They got out from under the covers and found their clothes. Jamie blushed again when he smelled Ella’s diaper. He had never been in a room with her when she needed to be changed like that. In fact, had never been in a room where she was being changed, not in months of daycare. Ella noticed and surmised why. “If you feel that weird about it you might as well poo your diaper, too. I know you do every afternoon around this time.” Now Jamie turned a deeper red. He wasn’t in a position to fault the logic. He turned away from her, then thought that was worse, then turned back toward her, realized that was worse, and then turned around again and did his business. Ella put the batteries back in the monitor, saying, “It’s kinda like having a butler in a way.” She snapped the second battery in. “Hi Stacy, we’re ready to get up.” In less than a minute, Stacy was in the room. “Jamie wants to go first,” Ella said with a wicked grin on her face. Jamie was legs up on the changing table before he knew it. This change was probably the most embarrassing since the first time he’d filled his diaper. A virtual stranger was cleaning him; someone was watching him; and he was excited, and unlike the time he’d been that way with Mel, this time he was fully aware of it. Stacy didn’t seem to notice, or if she did didn’t think anything of it. Ella did notice. “Amanda is going to be here in like an hour and a half, so I’m going to put you into one of Ella’s disposables.” Fine by Jamie. When they were both clean and Stacy had tended to their diapers in the bathroom, they went out to the living room again. Jamie was dressed, but Ella was still in her pajamas. Stacy came out and said, “Yogi needs to go out. I hear you have a fear of dogs, Jamie. Is it okay if I bring him through here?” “Uh, sure,” he said uneasily. In a moment, a black and brown eminence walked through the room with Stacy behind and waited patiently for her to open the front door. Jamie wished it was on a leash. “You didn’t tell me you had a … dog.” “He’s a therapy dog, and my pet. I was afraid you’d not want to come over.” “That’s a little deceptive.” “People wouldn’t keep them if they weren’t safe around littles and kids, Jamie. Besides, Yogi’s only 600 pounds. It’s not like she’s one of the working breeds. I’ll show when she comes back in.” A few minutes later, there was scratching at the door. Jamie could see how a dog door was out of the question when Yogi was let back in. She followed Ella into the living room. “Sit.” She sat. “See, Jamie. She follows directions.” Yogi sniffed Ella and rubbed her head on her. “She loves me. C’mon.” Jamie reluctantly approached, figuring she was right and he did have to get over this, or at least get to a point where it didn’t bother him so much. “Lay down.” Yogi laid down so she was ‘only’ chest high to Jamie, belly high to the taller Ella. Ella sat down in the crescent formed by the curl of Yogi’s body and pulled Jamie down with her. She gave Yogi’s coat a gentle tug. “See? She’s just a big Labrador. We could climb on her, pull on her tail, poke her in the eye – she’d just take it. You’re not saying anything,” Ella realized. “It’s just … hard to get used to.” “C’mere.” She leaned her back into Yogi, who only moved her eyebrows, and Jamie slowly did the same. Yogi turned to sniff him and then went back to resting her huge head on the carpet. “I bet cleaning up after her in the yard is a real treat,” he joked. “Can’t be nearly as bad as changing our diapers,” she retorted. When Amanda arrived to pick him up, she was surprised to find the two of them talking leaning against what was to her a dog. She and Jamie both thanked Stacy and Ella profusely and went home.
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  36. M 39 B DL, play age 8 Incontinent when back is hurt Have been interested in diapers from age 5, fell in love with them at age 11 or so.
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