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Richy meets someone who is like him, then, when he is taken to the swings, a familiar face appears... --- I am only able to write as much as I do thanks to the generosity and support of my subscribers. Writing is my only source of income and it is because of these people that I am able to do that. It allows me to keep the lights on and puts food in my fridge. My subscribers get early access to all my stories, and access to around 30 EXCLUSIVE stories that are only available for my subscribers along with other benefits. If you are interested in supporting me and getting these benefits please consider checking out one of my subscriber pages. Thank you ❤️ https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy --- The girl uncurled herself a little. As she moved her legs Richy saw her diaper underneath a short dress, she was very clearly wet. He nodded to her. Tried a little smile of solidarity but it seemed to fall a little flat and he looked back down at the sand. “What’s your name?” Richy asked. “Jessica… Well, they call me Jess now.” The girl replied, “You?” “Richy. Used to be Richard but… you know.” Richy shrugged his shoulders. It wasn’t exactly an official rule that Littles had their names modified after designation. It was more that longer or “complicated” names just seemed wrong for babies, so most Bigs who found themselves looking after a Little shortened their names. Richy thought there was an element of psychology at play too, working both ways, where changing the Littles name made it easier to see them as different to who they were before their designation. Jess didn’t say anything more. Richy grabbed a plastic bucket shaped like a castle from nearby as well as a small shovel of the same colour. They were laying nearby and seemingly abandoned. Without any idea of what else to do he started to slowly fill the bucket. After a few minutes, with the sand packed down, he overturned it and made half a castle, with the other half collapsing almost immediately. “I’m… new to all this.” Jess said quietly. “When were you designated?” Richy asked. “Last month.” Jess answered. She unfolded herself a little more, until she was sitting cross-legged to the side of Richy. Richy winced, and then did his best to hide it. Those first months, when your entire life has been upended just like his bucket, were particularly rough. It was before there was a chance to grow the mental and emotional callouses needed to get through a lot of the daily humiliations. He didn’t know what to say, so he settled for filling the bucket again. He turned it upside down and this time the whole castle crumbled. “It sucks.” Jess finally said with a sigh. “I’m doing my best.” Richy replied with a small smile. “No, I mean… everything.” Jess saw Richy’s face and realised he already knew what she meant. “Sorry.” Richy leaned back on his hands, “I think it’s sort of like gallows humour.” Richy was pleasantly surprised to see Jess shake her head and give a small laugh once the shock had worn off. She was actually very pretty, it had been hard to tell when she was all curled up, but now Richy could see much more clearly. “Hard to believe anyone could make a joke in this situation.” Jess spoke a little louder and with more force. It seemed it had just taken someone engaging with her, someone who knew her plight, to bring her out of her shell, “I think that was the first time I’ve laughed since going into the Designation Office.” “Yeah, I know how that can be…” Richy replied, “It’s been three years for me.” “God, I don’t know if I can last that long.” Jess swallowed hard. It was clear to Richy that she had been taking things days by day, that thinking that far ahead was scary for her. “You will.” Richy replied reassuringly, “You kind of get used to it… A bit, anyway.” Richy went back to the sand as Jess regained her composure. It was strange to be talking so much, his opinions meant little at home after all, this was the most he had spoken in one go for a long time. Maybe going out would be a little less daunting if it meant he got to speak to people in his position. “Who are you here with?” Richy asked. “My brother.” Jess’s cheeks went a little red. “Older or…” Richy started. “Older.” Jess said quickly, “I don’t know if I would be able to handle being looked after by my younger brother.” Richy hung his head. It was a special kind of humiliation to be babysat by your younger sibling, he knew that much. Jess seemed to quickly catch on that she had put her foot in her mouth. She started spluttering an apology. “It’s OK.” Richy said, “My younger sister brought me. It’s been weird, that’s for sure.” “I’ll bet.” Jess replied. For a few minutes they didn’t really talk about anything. Jess joined Richy in the sand, idly building things without any particular shape or plan. It was pleasant, and the screaming kids generally stayed to other parts of the sandbox, it meant the two of them had a little privacy. It was certainly far nicer than Richy could’ve expected from a day out of the house. “Does it get better?” Jess asked after a period of comfortable silence. “Well, it gets… Easier.” Richy said hesitantly. Richy didn’t want to lie to Jess. She seemed nice, but the truth was that he couldn’t tell her it got better, not without lying. The best she could hope for was that she would get used to things. Having to live like a baby never lost its humiliation, but it was something you could get used to over time. The first time Richy had been forced to have public accidents it had been enough to make him cry, now he usually limited himself to blushes as he looked for whichever Big was designated to look after him. They remained together in the sand for a little while. By the time Richy heard Kate approaching him from behind, he had wet himself twice more. She had a juice box in her hand that she gave to Richy. He quickly sucked on the little straw, he hadn’t realised how thirsty he had been until right then. “Aww, have you made a little friend?” Kate asked. Richy felt fresh embarrassment wash over him. He didn’t know how to respond, he didn’t want to be so forward as to suggest Jess was his friend already, but he also didn’t want to potentially insult her by saying she wasn’t. He half-shrugged and half-nodded. Kate beamed at the pair of them. “Wonderful! See, Richy? I told you it wouldn’t be so bad.” Kate chuckled, “But I want to see you do more than just dig in the sand. Come with me.” “Huh? Why?” Richy asked quickly. “You need to experience more things. A Little who doesn’t have a wide range of experiences can become stunted in their growth.” Kate spoke as if reciting from a textbook. “But can’t I just…” Richy started. Richy didn’t get to finish. His sister took his hand, and he was quickly pulled to his feet. He felt his diaper sag between his legs and realised he was wetter than he had thought. There was zero chance he was going to ask for a change though, not when they were surrounded by so many people. Kate started pulling him away from the sandbox and over to his shoes. He looked over his shoulder to see Jess waving at him sadly, even as he watched she seemed to be shrinking back into herself again. It turned out that when Kate had said Richy needed to experience more things in the playground, she had meant everything. He was taken from the spinning roundabout to the see-saws, to the big slide and everything else that was deemed appropriate for him. It was whilst sat on a little wooden horse with a spring underneath that he could rock back and forth that he saw some teenagers outside the fence and playing with a football. They were glancing over and laughing, teasing each other about which one would end up like “the baby.” “Can we go home now?” Richy asked after going down the spiral slide for the sixth time. “Nearly.” Kate replied, “But first… the swings! Oh, come on, don’t look at me like that. You always liked the swings!” “When I was a kid…” Richy muttered. Fortunately, Kate didn’t hear him. Richy followed his sister across the playground to the swings. He was keen to go home, but not just because of how embarrassing the day had been, but also because of his diaper. He had flashing red alarms and sirens in his head telling him that he was pushing his luck with it. Like most of the other playground equipment, there were swings designed specifically for Littles. Richy sat in one and was strapped in. His feet dangled off the ground as he held on to the chains that linked the seat with the crossbar above them. “Ready?” Kate asked. Richy was about to answer that he was when he heard Kate’s ringtone go off. She dug around in her pocket and pulled out her phone; she looked at the screen and then let out a little sigh. “Alright, wait there. I need to take this.” Kate said. Richy couldn’t have gone anywhere even if he wanted to. The swing operated a little like a highchair or a rollercoaster in that there was a bar going across from side to side that meant he couldn’t get up. The latch to undo it was behind him, and he wouldn’t be able to get to it without badly straining all the muscles in his arm. He watched Kate walking over to the fence, which she leaned against as she started talking. Richy had just reached a hand down between his legs, to check if he could feel any dampness underneath him, when he heard a familiar voice saying his name from behind. He guiltily snatched his hand away and tried to see over his shoulder at where the voice had come from. “Richy? It IS you!” There were footsteps and then Troy stepped in front of Richy. Richy’s mouth dropped open, and his brain seemed to stop working. Troy, one of his best friends from school, was stood in front of him and staring with almost the same amount of shock. Richy hadn’t seen the captain of their high school football team since the day before he went to be designated. He had no idea what to say to Troy, who was now looking him up and down and taking in the obviously Little outfit. “T-Troy… Good to see you.” Richy finally managed to say through the lump of shame in his throat. He could feel himself blushing. “I heard about…” Troy gestured to Richy’s waist. He seemed almost as embarrassed as Richy was, “Sorry, man. That sucks.” “That sucks” seemed like an understatement. He couldn’t blame Troy for not fully encapsulating the gravity of the situation though, Richy wasn’t sure the words existed. It was excruciating to be sat in the swing and totally unable to run away with Troy looking straight at him. He wished his friend would look anywhere else, or just say goodbye and excuse himself out of the situation. It wasn’t a choice Richy himself had. “What about you?” Richy asked, eager to shift the conversation away from his own circumstances, “What have you been up to?” “Oh, I just finished college.” Troy replied with a smile, “Just back at home until I sort myself out a job and stuff.” “O-Oh, college? Cool…” Richy tried not to let it get to him. He felt the creeping dread of time disappearing and experiences lost, the things he would never get to do because of his stupid designation. “Come on, stop dawdling.” Troy suddenly said. Richy looked up in confusion. The words weren’t aimed at him though; Troy was looking behind Richy as he gestured someone to come forwards. The swing made it hard to look over his shoulder, but Richy did his best. It still wasn’t until Jess was stood next to the other swing that he saw her properly. Richy’s eyes opened wide as Troy started helping Jess into the swing just like Kate had done for him. “Wait… you’re with him!?” Richy looked at Jess in shock. He turned to Troy as he stood back up, “You’re with her!?” “Come on, man, you remember my sister. Jessica? I talked about her all the time.” Troy said as he looked at Richy. Jess was blushing and gave a little shrug. Richy just stared with his mouth hanging open. He did indeed remember Troy mentioning his sister, fairly often if his memory was correct, but he never really met her. Whenever they hung out it was usually either out of the house or at Richy’s place, he hadn’t seen Jess since she had been a little kid. Troy shook his head and snorted with laughter. “You always were a little self-centred.” Troy joked, “Maybe that’s part of the reason you are where you are.” --- If you liked this update and want to see the CONCLUSION RIGHT NOW you can do so here: https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/mozb40hx8a1381/chapter/mrn8j8647a674310 https://subscribestar.art/posts/2596594

I can see play dates coming up

89. My Big Girl Tess hesitated for several minutes, her gaze roving back and forth between me and her new potty. She was so excited to use it, and it was hard to believe that she’d been a confident wannabe-adult so recently. Now she didn’t even have the courage to admit that she’d already wet herself. And then she forced a smile. “I gotta go potty like a big girl,” she said, but the tone was more like she was asking permission. “Can I do that?” I told her that she could, and praised her for knowing that she needed to pee. I reminded her a couple of times that knowing when she needed to go was one of the most important signs of being a big girl, so if she could tell then she might be big soon. I was pretty confident she was bluffing; her bladder couldn’t have filled up again so quickly, but I played along for now. Perhaps she was overconfident, or she really wasn’t sure because I’d told her it was her first time. I encouraged her, and asked her if she needed help. This was when I would find out just how little she was feeling, and whether she could stay in her headspace that long. I talked to her soothingly, just like a real child. She was my little now, there was no mistaking it. I was so glad when I knew that I was finally in charge and everything was going to go just how I had hoped. I asked her to stand with her hands out of the way while I loosened her diaper. I didn’t comment on how soggy she was; that would have just diminished her enjoyment when she was so excited about being able to go potty like a big girl. I tossed the diaper in the trash, and made a mental note to get another one after she was done. I was pretty sure that she wasn’t going to use the potty this time, not after having an accident only fifteen minutes before. But it was adorable watching her try, showing me just how small and helpless she was feeling. This was perfect, exactly the mood I wanted to see, and I couldn’t get over how much she was enjoying it. It was like all my dreams had come true; I was a kid at Christmas, although less literally than my baby. She was excited, and nervous, and everything else I might have expected. And she was staring at the potty like she wasn’t sure what to do. Precious. So I reached out and pressed one of the buttons on the side, shaped like a snake. “You can do it, Princess!” a slightly electronic sounding voice called out. It was clearly a digitised clip from the cartoon, but I didn’t know the show that well so I didn’t know which character it was supposed to be. Still, it had the desired effect. Tess’s face lit up, and I repeated the words. She told me that she was going to do it, she was sure of that, and she was going to prove to me what a big girl she was. Not a hint of embarrassment either, like the experience was completely real for her. I kept on noticing every little detail that proved how small she was in her own head, and I didn’t stop being amazed at what a good little she was now that we’d got her properly into the role. I had to make this as fun as possible, so that it would be easier to bring her back to this headspace. This wasn’t just about me enjoying the feelings of control; it was about teaching Tess that she needed to be a real little. So I helped her to sit down, guiding both her hands. She squirmed from side to side, maybe not quite comfortable on the soft plastic seat. But then she was staring expectantly, like she still needed some help. She reached down to mash some of the buttons with clumsy hands, and got a whole chorus of different sound effects, but she was no closer to being able to pee. Was it just because her bladder was empty, or could she genuinely not remember how to let it out? “You just need to make tinkles, Princess,” I told her with a smile. “Can you do that like a big girl? Do you know how to pee?” She nodded, but she was still staring into space. Trying hard, but nothing was coming out. “I can’t do it!” she said. “No fair. It doesn’t work!” “Aww. Maybe you weren’t ready to go yet? Or do you need a little encouragement? You could keep trying for a little while, and see if you can work out how to let go. Or try pressing the buttons again and see if they help. I know sometimes when you’re learning, you can build up a habit of always doing it when you hear the right sound. Like, you might be so little that your body responds automatically, so if you’re not already empty you’ll pee as soon as you hear that snake’s ‘you can do it’ clip. Do you think it would be nice to be that little? Making habits can make it easier to learn a new thing if you’ve not done it before, but it means you need help too.” I could see her thinking, and I wondered how deep her thoughts were. And how much she was focusing on her thoughts, or on her bladder. In the end, she responded just how I might have hoped. “Y…yeah,” she mumbled. “In case I didn’t learn it all the way yet. I’m that little.” A faint trace of a blush rose up on her cheeks, but she didn’t seem upset. “See, I’m little so I need the button, but that means I can go potty. Like a big girl!” “Maybe you can,” I said. “Do you want to press the button, or should I?” I can do it myself!” she beamed proudly, and slammed her hand down on the little plastic panel. Her coordination wasn’t too good today, she was already feeling too small to properly control her fingers. And a dozen different clips came out of the tinny speaker. There were too many of them to make out all the details, but I was sure there were a whole bunch of cute animals wishing her luck and telling her that she could use the potty. She laughed at them. And then the snake’s voice came on. “You can do it, Princess!” Tess beamed, eyes wide. But nothing happened, nothing at all. I watched her face fall, just for her to perk up again a second later. “It didn’t work,” she said. “But I can try after?” “Of course you can. Maybe you just didn’t need to go yet. There’s no rush, you can keep trying for as long as you want, if Ffrances doesn’t mind sharing.” “She doesn’t need it. She’s just a little baby.” “Of course,” I nodded slowly. It was still hard, thinking of my girlfriend being forced into a little role. But she didn’t seem too upset, and it made it easier for Tess to accept that the potty was hers now. If she spent a day insisting that she wanted it, and trying to convince me to let her keep it and not give it back to Ffrances, then those thought patterns would leave an impression on her mind even when she was an adult again. And if she really enjoyed it, she would find it easier to slip into that headspace in future. “But we should still ask her. And then you can keep trying as much as you want, until you can go like a big girl.” She stood up again, and didn’t object to being diapered. It felt so good that she was finally willing to be treated like this, and I couldn’t get over how much I enjoyed it. I took extra care with baby powder, and taped my little one up again, and helped her to her feet. “So,” I asked, “what do you want to do now, baby?” I thought that with the good mood I was in now, we could do whatever she wanted. I would have played along with anything, and I wanted my little to be happy too if she was being good and doing all this for me. “I can go potty?” she asked hopefully. “I think it’s a bit premature. You should wait a while before you try again, until you really need to go. If you try too soon you won’t be able to go again, that’s how it works.” She looked a bit disappointed at that, and not quite believing me. So I added: “I’ve been a grown-up for years now. You know I’ve learned that stuff, don’t you? So believe me, I already learned that. If you try to pee and you can’t, it’s better to wait a bit.” She nodded, but I could see the idea wasn’t going to get out of her head anytime soon. I suggested we do something that Ffrances can enjoy too, so we ended up back in the lounge, opening the last of the small presents. Tess helped Ffrances, and I helped them both. The last few presents yielded a mound of scrunched up paper that was bigger than the presents themselves, but I knew I would be happy to tidy up. The presents included a couple of individually-wrapped dolls that she might like to add to her collection, some old-fashioned wooden toys, and several little bundles of chocolates or hard candy. I even suggested that really little kids would get a thrill out of being naughty and sneaking treats when an adult wasn’t looking, and feel really proud if she could get away with it. And Tess was already giggly enough that she accepted that one without question. She wasn’t that good at stealth, but her attempts were adorable. Before we knew it, nearly an hour had passed. And I noticed that by then, there was one lonely bag of mini chocolate reindeer in the middle of the pile of toys, and a whole lot of empty wrappers. I looked over at Ffrances as she giggled, and tried to work out what she was feeling. There was an expression on her face that I couldn’t quite place; an unfamiliar feeling, after all the years I’d spent learning to give her exactly what she wanted in every possible situation. It took a while before I realised that she wasn’t trying to show me her emotions; she was regressed too far, and she was peeing. “Looks like your sister’s too little to need a potty,” I told Tess, and walked over to Ffrances. I would have to change her quickly, while she was too young to ask. And I couldn’t leave her to get uncomfortable no matter how weird it seemed. I just hoped that mentioning the potty would distract Tess, and she wouldn’t be paying enough attention to complain that Ffrances got a change right away. “Do you need to go?” “Yeah!” she leapt up suddenly. “I gotta pee. I can go the potty like a big girl, and show you–” “Hmm?” I asked, the sudden end of the sentence catching me off guard. But before she could even tell me, I knew that she now needed a change too. It was yet more proof of how much she really wanted to be a little, where it mattered in her subconscious mind. She was a baby at heart, no matter how hard she tried to pretend, and she would carry on wetting her diapers even without me triggering her. That was the proof that I had been right all along. This was exactly what she needed, and she wanted it as much as I did. “Ummm…” she mumbled. “Maybe I gotta get a clean diaper too?”

Hello everyone this is my 3rd attempt at a long form story. Any criticism or advice is always accepted both through comments and DM's. Thank you and please enjoy. Chapter 1 Monday Morning The sunlight shines through the pink curtains into the light pink room. Stuffed animals, stuffies, and dolls littered most of the sides of the room except a small desk with two backpacks and a tablet on it and a large white dresser with 2 baskets on top with a pack of wipes between them. The purple themed bed shifts as a small framed girl pops her head out of the comforter, her hair a brunette mess around her head. "Ugh go away Mr. Sun." The girl sighs groggy. The door opens slowly as it usually does once one of the two sleeping girls start waking up in the morning. "Good morning girls. How did we sleep last night?" The tall woman says entering the door way. Her robe hung to her tall curvy frame. The girl under the purple comforter sighed still hiding. But under the pink blanket on the other side of the room a messy blonde haired girl shot up with a giggle. "Good morning mommy! I slept good!" She giggles some more seeing mommy open the curtains letting more sunlight come into the room. "Good morning Addy. Sounds like you slept well and are ready for the day. How about you Natalie or are you sleepy bye this morning?" Sara asks her oldest daughter sitting next to her youngest daughter on Addy's bed as Addy jumps up to hug her mommy. Natalie growns a little coming out of her blanket. A look of "I want 5 more minutes please" was the polar opposite of her little sister as she looks over at her mom and little sister. "Mom I'm just not looking forward to today. We have so much to do plus I have to finish my homework. If I dont turn it in on Tuesday I'll have to take the 5th grade final and rather have a short week." Natalie sighed whining a little she shifted under her blanket sitting up. "Well honey if you want instead of taking family pictures with us this morning and running around all day I could just drop you off at Aunt Linda's daycare." Mommy laughed followed by both daughters and a whining "mommy..." at the teasing followed the teasing statement. Sara moves to Natalie's bed as Addy jumps up and goes over to her favorite doll and picks it up hugging it close. Her disney princess night gown doing nothing to hide the soggy pull-up underneath. Sara picks Natalie up still in her blanket knowing Natalie doesnt like showing off her soggy pull-ups unlike her little sister. Natalie giggled as mommy picks her up and playfully whines as mommy almost swaddled her in her blanket before being placed in mommy's lap. "Natalie you know I wont let you fail 5th grade or go to summer school, but we gotta go to this appointment you know grandma made this appointment for us so she can have sweet pictures for the news letter and to add to this year's invite for her summer party at her house. After that we can get breakfast and just have to do some quick shopping. We can get this all done before lunch s long as we dont dilly dally. Now how about we get you ready first. It looks like your pullup leaked again so I imagine your not that comfortable in there huh?" Mommy smiles lightly teasing but softly comforting her tiny oldest daughter. Natalie blushed and sighed at this but nodded. She wanted to be shocked at her pullups leaking but this has happened most of the last month and a half. She also wanted to rebuttal against her mommy getting her ready but she know with the pictures this morning grandma probably told mommy to get them ready a certain way just like for fancy events. And with that mommy took the blanket off her and stood her on the floor. The 10 year olds pullup was obviously pushed past its limits. And was sagging from under her unicorn night gown much more than her 6 year old sisters. Mommy sighs and grabs the wipes and a simple outfit seeing the soggy leaky pullup. "Honey do you want a fresh pullup or undies this morning since we are going to be busy this morning and your so tired?" Mommy asks slightly teasing but honestly offering. Addy giggles watching the scene. Natalie just huffs and point to her undies mommy picked out. 'I really hope no one ever finds out about mornings like this. I'm big girl not a toddler, but mommy knows this. I guess that s all that matters on morning like this.' Natalie thought to herself as she looked a little confused at the tee shirt and shorts that were put down as mommy started tearing away the pullups and cleaning her up with the wipe. "No fancy dress or anything? Grandma usually has a big to do planned for pictures and stuff right?" Natalie questions. "Yeah like when she has us wear those fun dresses and those head things like big silly dolls!" Addy joins in with her dolly pointing to the old timey bonnet on it head. Sara laughs pulling the sleeping beauty undies on Natalie. "Girls its a bit different today than the last few years apparently all our outfits are at the photo shoot already. Grandma has them picked out and ready to go. She told me was the theme was 'time'. So we get to be comfortable heading there at least. And Addy sweetheart thats called a bonnet, both babies and ladies back in the day wore those." Sara says finishing dressing Natalie which now in normal clothes looked less like a tall todfler and now like the short 10 year old she is. As mommy got Addy ready for the day next Natalie went off to there joined bathroom and put her stool in front of the sink to brush her teeth. As the tooth brush hit her mouth *BOOM* *CRASH* *GLASS BREAKING*. Natalie falls off her stool on to the tile floor with a hard smack. The lights went out and with the little sunlight coming into the bathroom from her bedroom Natalie couldnt see anything. With an emotional surge she cried out "Mommy!!! Whaaaa!!!" Into the darkness.

Really excited for the next chapter:)

At home, as a child, there was always the plastic sheet on my bed. I wet every night until I was 12 when I was sent away to an English boarding school. I soaked the bed on the first night. The floor under my bed was awash, then later that day there was a red rubber sheet just thrown on top of the bed. Everybody could see it in the dormitory of 14 boys, I was mortified, but to their credit no-one ever said a word. I wet the bed, but less frequently as time went on but the red rubber sheet followed me through school until I left at 17. Back home after that it was the plastic sheet again. It was my choice to put myself back into nappies after that, something I had wished my mother would have done many years before.

Loved it! you had me on the edge! Please keep up the good work!

I had a very similar experience. The teacher always expected us to raise our hand and ask to use the bathroom. I was a bit shy about letting all my classmates know, so usually I went between 'activities'. Like before recess, or lunch, or some other break in the class. One time I had to go while the teacher was talking, so I raised my hand. But she didn't call on me for a minute or two. I don't think she was deliberate about it, she was just busy explaining something. Well, I wet myself right in my desk/chair and started whimpering. The teacher saw and stopped what she was doing. She sent me to the bathroom and in a moment or two appeared with some other pants and underwear. She simply said to change and leave my wet things on some hook in the bathroom. About the only consequence was when it came time for afternoon recess and we all got up to go play outside, "Not you Michael. Boys that wet their pants can stay inside today." So I stayed in the classroom, looking through some book or something, while my friends and classmates were out having fun. She wrote a note and put my now dried pants in a bag, telling me to be sure to give my mom the note as I went home wearing some dark maroon corduroy pants that I hadn't worn in the morning when I left the house. I don't remember that mom (nor dad) said anything more about it. But when I raised my hand in class after that, I was always promptly allowed to use the bathroom. Is this why I have this fetish today? Or the 'need' to be humiliated about diapers and wetting?? Who knows... It certainly left an impression, still remembering it decades later.

Chapter 53 I helped with dinner by chopping some things for the salad. Then after dinner, I helped with the dishes. As I put the last dishes in the washer, Mommy was there, hugging me tight and giving me a kiss. She smiled at me and whispered, “I have a little surprise for my good little boy.” She took my hand, grabbed one of my bottles from the fridge, and led me towards the living room. Surprise? Mommy feeds me a bottle every evening after dinner… Only once I was laying in her lap and her hand reached to check the front of my diaper, did I even seem to notice I hadn’t been wearing pants since my nap. Going around the house in just my diaper and shirt had become second-nature. But her finger tracing the elastic band around one leg… well it made my peepee start to wake up and I spread my legs for her. She stopped and just patted the front of my diaper, gently nudging my caged peepee… That’s another thing… I don’t even think of it as a ‘cock’ anymore… I’m using Mommy’s words… my ‘peepee’. And ‘tinkles’… instead of piss. Slowly changing my very thoughts about things… even the words a little boy should use. In the middle of the second game show, I’d finished my bottle and Mommy was undoing her top. She spoke softly as she guided my head, “Time for baby’s little surprise… now be a good baby… have your milkies.” I latched on and began to suckle, the same as we’ve done for months now. I closed my eyes and relaxed. Then I tasted it… just a little bit. But definitely… I released her nipple and looked up at her, “Mommy??” She was smiling at me and palmed my head, whispering, “Go ahead sweetie… It’s just a little to start with… but it’s all for my baby…” I latched on again and tasted it again. A hint of sweet… rather watery… but definitely milk… MOMMY’S MILK!!!! I felt my heart soaring. I managed to get a few more drops and Mommy quickly helped me shift to her other nipple. She whispered softly, “I noticed some after naptime… started to leak a little. And it’s all for you sweetheart… All for my baby.” I rolled onto my side a little to face her breast more squarely, and she helped me with a pillow to support my head. I could have nursed all night if she had let me. Mommy’s baby… nothing proves it more than her breastfeeding me and gently thumping my thick diaper. Sigh… but it didn’t last long. She only produced a couple swallows from each and then she was gently pushing my mouth away, replacing her nipple with my pacifier. She said tenderly, “It’s not much yet sweetie, but it’s a start.” I took my pacifier and nodded as I cuddled with this wonderful woman. When the shows were over, she gently patted my chest and said, “Now, there’s a movie I wanted to watch, and it’s Saturday night. Why don’t you go play with your gaming friends for a bit.” I sat up and thought about it for a moment. Her gentle way of saying, that’s enough for now. Yeah, she’s having her period and just needs some ‘alone’ time of her own. I got up and started for the upstairs and the playroom, where my gaming system was. As I reached the first step, Mommy called out, “Sweetie… take your pacifier out of your mouth before you log in with your friends.” I blushed a little as I reached up and did as she said. She loves me, knows that I wouldn’t want to have to explain this purple thing in my mouth to my online gaming friends. … I knew my diaper would be off camera, and soon was part of our hunting party, questing and exploring. I lost all track of time and while ‘BladePrincess’ and ‘Gypsythief’ had to call for bathroom breaks, I hardly noticed when my diaper grew warm a couple of times. But when Mommy appeared in the doorway in her nightgown, she said gently, “Sweetie, it’s time to call it a night. It’s after two.” ///// WoodlandWarrior: “Guys, I have to go now.” BladePrincess: “The old ball and chain nagging ya?” WoodlandWarrior: “Yeah, it’s late, and don’t call her that.” GypsyThief: “It’s okay, I know what it’s like. We love our partners” GypsyThief: “Even when they interfere with important stuff like gaming.” BladePrincess: “Want to keep going Thief?” GypsyThief: “Nah… no offence but without at least one healer…” BladePrincess: “Yeah, fair ‘nuff. Besides, I need to pee again. Night all..” WoodlandWarrior:” Good night all… sweet dreams.” ///// I blinked at that last message I typed. Oh well… they probably didn’t even notice. Mommy took my hand. Soon I had a dry diaper, finished my nighttime bottle, and fell asleep with that new taste on my tongue, blissfully happy. … “Who’s Mommy’s little girl!!! Who’s just the CUTEST!!!” I felt Mommy’s finger tickle my toe and I kicked my chubby little legs as I squealed for her. Her face was fuzzy and out of focus at first, but as she leaned closer it became clearer. Pretty black hair that I tried to grab, but my little fingers just clenched in a helpless little fist. I is mommy… I Mommy’s baby… I was drooling and babbling. Not words, just helpless little babbles… but it made Mommy smile. She kissed my tummy and it tickled; my arms and legs flailed about helplessly as I squealed some more. Mommy’s face lifted and smiled at me again. Then she shifted and I couldn’t see her face, but something big and round and warm… and that darker thing… I wanted to put it in my mouth… It was something… Mommy’s voice.. “time for baby to have num nums….” My lips suckled from reflex and I tasted yummy num nums… making me happy and calm… Mommy’s num nums… Fingers gently running through my hair woke me up. I had dreamed I was just an infant, Mommy smiling, breastfeeding me. But I still felt the pressure on my lips. Mommy IS breastfeeding me. She woke me up by placing her nipple in my mouth. “Is my little Tammy awake now? Having your num nums?” I heard her whisper. I nodded gently as I suckled. I felt her hand stroke my hair again, “Mommy let you sleep in, you were up late. But we can’t sleep the day away.” I just relaxed and nursed. It had been a dream, but a wonderful dream. A helpless baby, with Mommy cooing and smiling, gently stimulating me with touches and kisses, then calming me down with her breast. After switching me to her other breast, she finally used her finger to push my lips away, saying gently, “That’s all for now sweetie-pie. I should start making more soon enough.” I must have made a pout because Mommy giggled as she sat up. Then she added, “Now, it’s Sunday so Mommy needs her little helper to help with the chores.” … After breakfast, Mommy picked out my ‘little helper’ outfit with a pair of pink plastic baby pants. Soon I was waddling about the house, helping Mommy. She picked up some dirty dish from the coffee table, no doubt a snack she ate last night, while I went around the room with the duster. Something different, she got out the step stool and set it in the middle of the room. She pointed and said, “Be a good girl for Mommy… see if you can dust off the ceiling fan?” I wasn’t completely steady, but standing on the stool and on my tippy-toes, I managed. As I turned it by hand to do each blade, I heard a giggle. Mommy was smiling and said, “Careful Tammy dear, your baby pants are showing when you reach up like that. Pink certainly IS your color!!!” She knew I’d have to reach, she just wanted me to show off my new baby pants. And she giggled some more when I lowered my arms and blushed. Then she said, “It’s okay sweetie, you look very cute. Now do a good job.” Then she walked away and I slowly raised my arms again to resume. After a moment, I heard one more giggle from the hallway. After she started the laundry, I heard her working in the kitchen. I climbed down and picked up the stool and carried it toward the laundry where it was stored. As I passed the kitchen, Mommy said, “That’s a good girl!! Now, when you put that away it’ll be time for lunch.” Ooo… lunch!! Does that mean some more breastmilk? I hurriedly put things away. But when I returned to the kitchen I froze for a moment. My highchair was pushed up next to the table, the tray resting on the table, waiting for me. Before I could say a word, Mommy’s cheerful voice said, “In you go princess.” I frowned a little as I put my hands on the two arms and lifted myself in. I saw the plastic plate with divided sections each of the three filled with food. She quickly and efficiently slid the tray into place and I heard the ‘snap’ as she locked it. Then she turned towards the counter. With a flourish, she produced what looked at first like a tea-towel. But it was decorated with little animals, baby blocks, and colorful ABC’s. Mommy smiled as she reached and held it under my neck and started to fasten two drawstrings around my neck, saying, “We don’t want little Tammy to make a mess on her pretty dress now do we….” I squirmed in my diaper, something about this made my peepee twitch in its ‘little house’. I’m Mommy’s little girl…. A little baby that needs Mommy to feed me… A little baby still in diapers… Mommy got behind my highchair and with a little shove, I was scooted closer to her chair until the tray bumped against the table. I heard a tiny squeak as her toe locked the wheels. She sat in her chair and with a broad smile on her face announced, “Now, let’s see what we have for Baby Tammy today. Hmm?” She used a small plastic spoon to stir the first division of food. “Oooh…. Tapioca pudding…. Yummy….” It wasn’t bad, but she didn’t give me much time between mouthfuls. I think a couple of times, she deliberately ‘missed’. Bumping the spoon against my chin or cheek, letting some fall onto my bib and then mildly reprimanding, “Now now… mustn’t make a mess sweetie…. Just imagine how messy you would get if Mommy didn’t help…” I blushed when she used the spoon to scrape some food from my chin or cheek, then feeding it to me, “Waste not… want not….” After a few spoons of the pudding, it turned out the green stuff was pureed peas. I don’t mind vegetables, but being the same consistency as the pudding… YUCK!!! After a couple of spoonfuls, I balked. She frowned at me, “Now Tammy… good little girls eat their dindin… Or you’ll sit there until you do.” I felt my lips quiver, but I slowly opened my mouth. As she pushed the green goo into my mouth, “That’s better. Tammy is a GOOD GIRL!!!” The third partition, the red one, turned out to be some sort of cherry puree. Same consistency, but sweeter. A lot easier to swallow. Finally, after I had eaten all three, Mommy put the spoon down on the plate and picked up the corner of my bib to wipe my chin and face, commenting, “Tsk…. Baby girls are such messy eaters sometimes…” Then she picked up my bottle and handed it to me with, “Here you go cutie pie… drink your baba while Mommy takes care of the dishes. Both hands now…” I reached and brought the nipple to my lips and started suckling. That familiar taste of a hint of vanilla. I settled in, suckling while my eyes followed Mommy. She picked up the plate and carried it to the sink. Then she reached for the bread and fixed herself a sandwich. I was still quietly suckling as she sat back down, taking a bite of her own lunch and smiling at me. After she swallowed, she said simple, “You did good Tammy darling. I knew you wouldn’t like all of it, but you did good. Not one little complaint.” I nodded, still sucking on my bottle as she took another bite. After a third, she paused and looked at me. Then asked, “Being my baby girl… trapped in your highchair… it makes your little thingy tingle doesn’t it. Trying to get hard in its little house?” I felt my face flush and ‘that’ muscle clenched, making the blood surge a little in my peepee. Making it tingle and strain a little in my chastity cage. She was quietly staring and the more she stared, the more uncomfortable my peepee became. Then her face broke into a grin as she whispered, “Thought so…. Yeah… Mommy can tell.” I lowered my bottle and was about to say something when she tutted, “Now now… finish your baba.” She brushed a few crumbs from the table in front of her into her hand and stood up. She was wiping her hand into the bin when the doorbell rang. I jumped a little in surprise, but all Mommy said was, “Oh… they’re early.” She wiped her hand one last time and turned, walking towards the door. Early?!?! WHO!?!?! WHO Mommy?!??! Mommy…. Mommy don’t leave me trapped in my… in my highchair!!! I called to her as her footsteps echoed away, “Mommy??....” But instead of answering me, I heard the front door and Mommy’s voice, “HI!!!! I didn’t expect you so soon!!!” A woman’s voice, “Hi there… Yeah, little Mikey here wanted to see a movie later. Hope you don’t mind???” I know that voice... and ‘Mikey’… It was Miss Sarah… Shelly’s mom!!! But… but she said ‘Mikey’ As I was starting to understand, several footsteps were coming closer and Mommy was saying, “Tammy was just finishing her lunch, come in and have a seat.” I pulled my bottle from my lips and twisted, trying to see. I could barely make out Miss Sarah as she came around behind me. Her hand brushed my shoulder as she spoke, “Oooo this is cute! Look Mikey… Tammy has a new highchair!!!” Then she came into full view as she sat down opposite Mommy’s usual seat. The one that I used to sit at before we got my highchair. Then I saw Mikey. His hair wasn’t in pigtails, just hanging around his neck. A polo shirt and long pants. Baggy, I couldn’t really tell, but I’d have bet that he had on a diaper underneath. It was a little weird, seeing that face without seeing ‘Shelly’ in a dress. He sat directly opposite me, between Mommy and Miss Sarah. He gave me a little smile and said, “Hi Tammy. Did you have a nice lunch?” I blushed and kicked my feet as I whimpered, “Mommy….” But trapped in my highchair, Mommy just reached and gently tugged my bottle from my hand. Then I felt the silicon teat of a pacifier as she said, “Here sweetie…. Just sit quietly while the grownups talk.” I accepted it, but then my eyes widened. It didn’t SEEM that much bigger, but it was. In my mouth it went deeper, and it held my tongue down. It reached in so far, I almost felt a gag reflex for a moment, but my other reflex took over and I started sucking on the oversized nipple, making the button-shield bob against my lips. One of those new ones… ‘bigger pacifier for a bigger baby’…. I whimpered a little as Mommy untied my bib. She said something, “Tammy LOVES her bigger pacifier. Keeps her nice and quiet.” Then she seemed to nod towards Miss Sarah, “Is that it? Do you have time to show me how to use it?” Is what… ‘it’? What is she up to now…?? Miss Sarah shifted and removed a strap from her shoulder, setting a case on the table, “Yes, I got it when we were traveling, but you can borrow it for as long as you like.” I stared at it as she unzipped the top and flipped it open. She pulled out some tubing and two strange looking things as she explained, “It’s a little noisy, but these go on your nipples… and the milk goes…” Mommy’s nipples?? But… but they’re for ME!!! But when I jerked to look at Mommy, she was already pulling her top off over her head. She took one of the things and turned it about. “No no… here, let me show you,” Miss Sarah said as she stood up and walked around behind me. I stared as she took the plastic thing from mommy and turned it, then gently pressed it against Mommy’s nipple. She simply commented, “It’s a little tricky getting them both on… then you turn on the machine.” I stared as Mommy’s hand held the first one against her breast as Miss Sarah put the other against Mommy’s other nipple and reached for the case. Then a small thrumming, with a gently, “whirr… click… whirr… click… whirr… click.” Mommy giggled, “Oh… that feels funny… but yeah… I get it now…” Miss Sarah walked behind me again as she sat back down. Miss Sarah spoke while pointing, “If it isn’t enough, you can adjust the strength with that knob.” I watched Mommy reach one hand to the machine and the sound changed a little. Then she said, “Oh yeah… I can feel the difference.” Miss Sarah just pointed and said, “There you go… it’s starting to flow now.” I looked and sure enough. A thin milky liquid started trickling down one of the tubes. A breast pump!?!?! Mommy’s extracting her milk with a breast pump?!?! But I want to suck them… Don’t babies get to…. Mommy was talking, “I just wanted to borrow it for work. We have a room for new mothers to do this sort of thing. I figure besides when I’m home with my baby girl, if I use this at work I’ll make more milk for her.” I felt some relief to hear that. At home, Mommy will still breastfeed me. She just wants it for when she’s at work. I kept staring, that tiny miracle, Mommy’s body creating something for her baby…. For me. My eyes followed a small bit as it trickled down the tube into some sort of collecting jar. Then I saw a drop from the other tube as her other breast started to respond to the rhythmic ‘whirr… click… whirr…click…” “…looked into donating some when I was traveling for a week. I didn’t want to dry up,” Miss Sarah was talking. She went on, “And believe me, if you’re on a schedule with your baby… you’ll know when you need to nurse little Tammy.” Then she winked at Mikey and added, “But little Mikey here is more than happy to oblige, any time I…. Oh shoot!!!” Mommy looked up and asked, “What? Is something wrong?” She looked down at the suction cups attached to herself for a moment. When I looked back, Miss Sarah had her hands on her own breasts and asking, “Would you mind? All this talk and watching you… I’m starting to leak some. Would it be okay if Mikey…?” I looked at Mikey now and his face was bright red. He squirmed a little in his chair. Mommy stared for a moment and then said, “oh.. . OH!!! No of course not!! Go right ahead!!” Miss Sarah simply whispered, “Thanks…. Mikey? Come around here… Milkies time…” I watched as Miss Sarah undid her top and her nursing bra had two dark spots, one covering each nipple where apparently her nipples were leaking. She unashamedly unclipped one cup and for the first time in perhaps a year, I saw a woman’s breast other than Mommy’s. There was a drop of white forming and I watched as Mikey got down on his knees. Then I couldn’t see Miss Sarah’s nipple any more as Mikey latched to her. Miss Sarah’s hand gently cradled his head and she kisses his long hair, whispering, “Good boy….” The room was silent for a few seconds, nothing but the ‘whirr…click’ sound as the breast pump continued. My mouth filled with my new pacifier, I suckled quietly as I watched Mikey have something I longed so badly for. Mommy whispered, “It seems so…. Wonderful….” Miss Sarah nodded and smiled, adding, “It is… having a little one… knowing how much they depend on us…. That we nurture and care for them…” I looked over at Mommy and whimpered, sucking on my pacifier while that machine did what I so desperately wanted to do right now. I kicked my foot and grabbed at the tray that had me trapped. Mommy smiled at me and whispered, “Later sweetie… Mommy needs to be able to use this at times when my little girl isn’t able to suckle.” I felt myself pouting, nothing but my pacifier to console me. Then I heard a different sound. Coming from Miss Sarah. Or was it Mikey…. I looked and stared for a moment. She was gently kissing his head and whispered something in his ear. He whined and the noise stopped. Mommy spoke up, “Oh go ahead, let him play with his peepee if he wants.” Miss Sarah looked across at Mommy, “Are you sure? It’s just that… well you know… sucking on my tit always gets him…” Mommy interrupted, “Oh sure. I take it he’s not wearing his little house today?” When I turned back to look at Miss Sarah, she was talking softly to Mikey, “Go ahead darling, it’s not cheating if Mommy is with you.” The effect was almost immediate. Mikey’s hand disappeared in between his legs and he clear was starting to play with himself. Then Miss Sarah spoke to Mommy, “No… he likes to wear it when little Shelly. Or for when Sammy visits. But we’ve agreed he doesn’t need to wear it when with me. If he has an accident and squirts in his diaper when with me, it doesn’t count as cheating.” Then she looked at me, “How about you Tammy? Are you wearing yours today? You let your Mommy put your dinky in it to keep you safe?” I was whimpering a bit, all this talk had made my peepee start to strain and the more it strained against my cage, the more it wanted out. Mommy answered for me, “Oh no… I never put it on her. She does THAT all by herself. You put Mikey’s on sometimes?” Miss Sarah nodded, “Sometimes. A couple times when I couldn’t get it to fit because…. You know. I found a good couple of slaps with my hand… makes it fit easily.” She smiled down at Mikey as he kept sucking and playing. When she added, “Isn’t that right sugarplum? Or a good spanking…” Mikey squirmed and nodded once. But then I think he undid the front of his pants, they seemed to drop a little and then the noise of his diaper crinkling got louder as he started playing with his peepee again. Mommy’s voice got my attention as she spoke, “Little Tommy and I have an agreement. He decides when to put it on…. But I decide when it comes off. And since he put it on yesterday… Well… I haven’t decided to let him out yet. Isn’t that right Tammy darling?” I whined, my peepee was very unhappy. Mommy’s talking with this other woman about my very manhood as if talking about the price of celery. And the more my peepee strained, the more my muscle clenched, the more it tried to get hard and strained in its little house. They didn’t speak for a moment. The sounds of ‘whirr…click’ and Mikey’s diaper filled the silence. I heard Miss Sarah start to say something, my head jerked to look directly at her, “Well that sounds like a happy arrangement. Funny though…. How little boys are so willing to lock up their favorite toy…” The conversation must have been having an effect on Mikey. Or as Shelly had once told me, he’s ‘terribly quick’. Because all of a sudden, everyone turned to look at him as he let out a whine and his body seemed to stiffen. Miss Sarah held his head to her breast as she spoke softly, “That’s a good boy… get all those ickies out…. Then we can go see your movie….” It’s NOT FAIR!!!! He… he just… and … And is breastfeeding and I… I… I spit out my pacifier and started crying. “Mommy…. Mommy it’s not fair…. Please?!?!?! Please Mommy!!!! IT’S NOT FAIR!!!!!” Mommy was still attached to the machine, but she managed to bend and pick up my pacifier. She looked at me with a stern frown as she pushed it back in my mouth. All she said was, “One more outburst like that Tammy… And you’ll be taking your nap with a sore bottom.” I whined but sucked on the huge thing anyway. Miss Sarah whispered, “Other one now sweetie… Drink up…” I looked and she was guiding Mikey to her other nipple. Mommy reached for the machine and the noise stopped. She said to Miss Sarah, “It does start to hurt after a while.” Miss Sarah inquired, “how much is in the jar?” Mommy lifted the jar to eye level to read the markings, “Sigh… only two and a half ounces.” “Don’t worry, you’ll get there. Even actual babies don’t need much at first,“ was Miss Sarah’s reply. Then she nodded, as she added, “It’ll keep for almost a day in the fridge. Just remember to rinse out the machine each time.” I watched as Mommy detached herself, covered up her beautiful breasts again and got up. She puttered about with the jar and tubing, pouring her milk into one of my clean bottles, rinsing the tubing and suction cups. When Mikey stood up, I turned to look and Miss Sara had fastened up her top again. “Well, we really need to be going. Call me anytime if you need anything,” she said as she stood up. Then she leaned over me and kissed my hair, “See you later Tammy. Be good now for your mommy.” She took Mikey’s hand, simply saying, “Come along sweetie. We need to get a move on if we’re going to catch the matinee. Carole dear, we can see ourselves out.” Mommy stood in the kitchen and waved, “Bye you two… And thanks again Sarah.” When we heard the front door close, Mommy turned and stared at me. Then she walked to me and gripped my chin, not too lightly and lifted so she could stare into my eyes, “What was THAT all about? You know our agreement.” I wasn’t so sure of myself now. Looking up at that frowning face, I felt a little scared. In fact I felt so scared that I suddenly felt myself wetting my diaper. It wasn’t a trickle, it was a full-blown flood. I tried to defend my behavior, “It… it’s just that Mikey… and… and he got to and he didn’t have to wear a dress… He.. he gets to be let out and… and I…” My voice trailed off, knowing my position was a weak one. She let go of my chin and reached under the tray. As she set the tray on the table next to the machine, she was short and curt, “Stand up.” Then she took my hand and turned, adding, “Come with me Missy.” It was a short trip, just around the end of the counter. She spun me around and I knew what was going to happen. I pleaded, “No please Mommy…. I’ll be good…. I’m sorry…” I heard the drawer open. She didn’t want to take the time to go upstairs to get my paddle. Her hand shoved the middle of my back and my hands shot out to grip the other side of the counter as I bent over it. As she pushed my dress up and tugged at the waistband of my plastic pants and diaper together, she scolded, “I’ve told you many times….” WHACK!!! WHACK!!! WHACK!!! “YOU put it on!!! Not me!!!” WHACK!!! WHACK!!! WHACK!!! I cried out, “OWWWW!!! I’m SORRY!!!! I… I know… I… I know….” “Well apparently not. Yelling and carrying on like that in front of company….” WHACK!!! WHACK!!! WHACK!!! I knew better than to reach behind, but my foot stomped as I tried to wriggle away from that wooden spoon!!! “Who decides when it comes off?” WHACK!!! WHACK!!! WHACK!!! “YOU DO!!! Mommy decides… WAHHH!!! WAHHH!!! Mommy!!!!” WHACK!!! WHACK!!! WHACK!!! “That’s right! And it’s NOT going to be today!! Not after THAT OUTBURST!!!” WHACK!!! I heard the clatter of the spoon on the counter. Then there wasn’t any sound other than my sniveling and runny nose. But I didn’t move. I knew better than to cross her right now. Then I felt the two tender kisses, and she tugged at my diaper and plastic pants, restoring them over my now burning bottom without saying a word. My peepee completely forgotten as it was now just a nub in it’s little house. A hand reached for my arm as she whispered, “Stand up sweetie.” She turned me around and wiped the tears from my cheeks with her thumbs as she held my face in her hands. She hugged me tight for a moment. I hugged her back. Then she took my hand and turned towards the front room saying softly, “Time for Tammy to have a nap.” To Be Continued

Sorry for delays... 'life' happens. Hope this is worth the wait... Chapter 7 I woke up sometime in the night. Cindy was snuggled down between me and the back of the couch. I managed to untangle myself from her arms and not fall on the floor. My top and bra were still tangled as I stood up, so I shucked them away. There was some light coming in the windows. I walked over to investigate. Totally nude, I slid back the balcony door and stepped out. For a moment, I thought of myself as some Greek goddess… Selene, mother of the night and moon. So freeing, the cloak of night. I’m totally nude and feel completely free, as if there’s no one else in the world awake… It’s so bright… I craned my neck around the corner a little and saw it. The clouds had all cleared and a full moon was the source of the brightness. I gently gripped the railing and threw back my head to embrace the night air. What would it be like to just live naked all the time… Everyone seeing everyone else just as they are, ‘warts and all’ as they say. No need to hide anything, no shame… I reached with my right hand down to my bush. The gentle breeze tickled gently. Maybe not completely… maybe if I just trimmed… But the night air was starting to feel cold, my nipples were starting to stiffen, so I turned and went back inside, gently sliding the door closed. She was still sleeping. The idea of just grabbing my clothes and leaving in the dead of night flicked across my mind for just a moment. But no, I’ve had that done to me and couldn’t do that to her. Instead, I found my jeans and fished my phone out. I set my alarm extra early to give me time to take that ‘walk of shame’ back to my place in the morning. Then I gently woke her up and whispered, “Come on baby… Let’s get baby’s diaper changed and tucked into bed.” I helped her up and walked with my arm around her, down the back hall to her bedroom. There was enough moonlight coming in through the bedroom window to find a clean diaper and change her. Then I slipped into the bed next to her and she nuzzled against me. I smiled when she took my nipple and gently sucked. Angie… you might regret this, but damn she’s everything you love about playing ‘mommy’. She needs me, but not overly ‘needy’. She’s cute and actually pretty sexy looking in those diapers. She’s great in bed. But what about outside the bedroom? She DID acknowledge that Gretchen woman. Maybe we can make it work… She stirred and reached for me. I draped my arm over her shoulders and went back to sleep. --- --- I was all cozy when I heard a strange beeping. Then someone next to me stirred and the beeping stopped. I stretched and opened my eyes. My bedroom. And ‘Mommy’. It was just getting light and I smiled as she leaned over to give my head a quick kiss. I murmured, “…’morning.” She gave me a quick smile as she stood up, still naked. She started for the bathroom, “Good morning sweetie, I need to pee.” As I saw the bathroom light click on, and then the door swing mostly closed, I reached between my legs. I knew I wet myself last night; but I was dry now. She must have changed me sometime in the night. And I’m in my bed now, she must have done that as well. The toilet flushed and she didn’t return right away. I heard some footsteps and then she was in my doorway, dressed again. She spoke gently, “I need to get home and shower, then get to work darling. Sorry…” I didn’t want her to go. I sat up and offered, “You could take a shower here?!?! Stay a few more minutes???” She walked over to me, leaned over and kissed my cheek, “Tempting… But if I stay, we both might end up not going to work at all today. Best if I get on home.” I knew she was right, but I wanted to pout and throw a tantrum. I took a deep breath and then saw a look in her eyes. No, it wouldn’t work on her. And I want her to know I’m a good girl… at least some of the time. Instead, I reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze, telling her, “Have a good day Mommy. Call me or text when you can…” When I heard the front door click shut, I fell back into my bed and sighed. My bladder wanted attention and I debated with myself, diaper?? Or toilet?? I decided since she wasn’t here, and I couldn’t lounge around at home in it if I wet it, I shimmied off my diaper and used the toilet. Time to be a big girl Cynthia… … We didn’t see each other for a couple of days. I had to work late, not getting home until after seven. But Mommy texted me each night to make sure I put on a diaper for bedtime. I was getting used to sleeping in them every night. I would wake up dry, have my breakfast and coffee and tinkle in it. Then a quick shower and off to work. Friday had started the same. But just after lunch, I got a text message while researching through some law books in the large room used for both conferences and as a library. ///// “Hi baby, Mommy needs you to do something for me this afternoon.” “Hi Mommy! Sure, what do you need?” “The next time you go potty, I want you to tinkle in your panties.” “What? I can’t do that!!!” “Yes baby, just lift up your skirt, sit on the potty, and tinkle with your panties still on.” “But… but then they’ll be all wet?!?!” “As soon as you do, text Mommy.” “While still sitting on the potty, then Mommy will tell you what to do from there.” … … “Understand me baby? Say you’ll be a good girl, do as Mommy said.” … “I… I’ll be a good girl.” “Text me the moment you do. Byeeeee” ///// Sheesh… wet my panties? But… but only little girls… What if someone… Just then, one of the paralegals came in to borrow a law reference. I quickly locked my phone and tried to seem busy. He stopped for a moment to ask if I needed anything and for some reason, I just blurted out, “A cup of coffee? Black?” Now why did I… it’s just going to make me have to… gulp! PEE!! He brought it back and I thanked him. I took a sip and tried to get more work done. But by two o’clock, my nerves and the caffeine teamed up against me and I had to visit the ladies’ room. I locked the door as always, it’s a small, single-person room. Then I stepped behind the divider and reached for my skirt, lifting. Then just as Mommy said, I sat with my panties still in place. It took a moment to relax. The familiar sitting on the potty helped, but still.. Then I heard the familiar sprinkling, but also a new sensation. Wetness spreading upwards, and back. I can’t believe she has me doing this… I can’t just walk around in wet panties the rest of the day. This skirt isn’t very thick, they’ll soak right through it… I gathered my skirt a little under my elbows and took out my phone. ///// “Mommy? Mommy I wet my panties…” “Aww poor baby girl.. *giggle*” “It’s okay sweetie… but you know what that means…” “Please Mommy… I can’t go around in wet panties…” “It means you spend the weekend in DI-PURRS!!!!” “<shiver> Mommy please….” “Be a good girl and do as I say.” “Carefully take them off and throw them in the trash.” “No more panties for BABY CINDY!!!” “Then wipe your little kitty as best you can and get back to work.” “But Mommy….” “But do NOT PLAY with kitty.” “Only BABIES in DI-PURRS do that.” “I wouldn’t do that at work!!!” “You better not!! Mommy will know.” “Now, off you go BABY CINDY… do as Mommy said.” “Yes Mommy.” “And text me when you’re leaving for home.” “Mommy will meet you at your place, to take care of BABY CINDY.” “Yes Mommy. Did.. Did I do good? Am I a good girl?” “A VERY GOOD GIRL…. Now… run along for now.” “Remember to message when you’re going home.” ///// She said I’m a good girl…. For wetting my panties… <shiver> I did as she said, careful to bury my shameful underwear under some paper towels in the bin. As I walked back to my office, my still damp skin sent a chill as the air curled upward under my skirt. It’s not like anyone can tell… Right?? Nobody needs to know that I… I just did that. But I kept thinking about tonight. Meeting Mommy after work, spending the weekend… in diapers. Because I’m a good girl… Mommy even said so. … Finally finishing up, I turned down an invitation from a couple of coworkers to have a drink and headed towards my car. The fresh breeze under my skirt reminded me I was ‘commando’, naked underneath my skirt. I’ve gone ‘commando’ a couple of times on weekends, or just for a little thrill to the corner store. But tonight it made me feel… vulnerable. With no pubes and no panties, I felt… a teeny bit scared. Like I was being naughty, but also wanting to cling to someone…. Someone like Mommy. Sitting in the car, keys not yet in the ignition, I texted. ///// “I’m on my way home now Mommy.” “Good girl. Meet you in your lobby.” ///// That’s all? Just…. Meet me there? Suddenly that’s all I could think about and all I wanted. I wanted to rush into Mommy’s arms. I almost ran a red light. I passed several cars and was thankful there were no cops around. I practically jogged from the parking lot to the front door of my apartment building and there she was. Standing up from the small bench by the elevator. I didn’t care if anyone else was around, I didn’t even look. I just rushed to her and hugged her tight. After a few seconds, she whispered, “I’m glad to see you too. Now, Mommy has our whole evening planned. Come along.” She took my hand and pressed the elevator button. I noticed she had a large handbag draped over her shoulder, but I was just happy to be holding her hand. Now I feel better… I feel safe with Mommy. She stood next to the buttons, so she pressed the ‘5’ button for my floor. As soon as the doors closed, she reached into her bag and pulled out a large white diaper. She just said simply, “Hold this for Mommy will you dear?” Not even in the door and… I held it nervously in my hand. Praying that nobody else would get on the elevator. When the doors opened and we stepped out, I started down the hall to my door. But she gently gripped my elbow, turning me back to face her. Before I knew it, her arms were around me and my face tilted upwards as she kissed me. I practically melted in her arms. Mommy is bigger and stronger, I feel like putty in her arms… I wanted her tongue to touch mine, but her lips didn’t part. Her hand reached and cupped my bottom as she broke the kiss and whispered, “Now… little ones that wet their panties… Mommy puts them in diapers. Understand?” She gently pushed away a little and looked into my eyes. I nodded and submitted, whispering, “Yes Mommy…” Then I felt her hands as she bent a little, grabbing at the sides of my skirt. EEP!!! Right here in the hall?!?!!? “Hold your skirt up for Mommy,” she was saying gently as she pulled it all the way to my waist. She took the diaper from me and my hands did her bidding. Here I was, standing in the hall in front of the elevator doors, flashing this woman with my naked kitty. She dropped to one knee as she unfolded the diaper and I was staring at the elevator doors, praying they didn’t suddenly open. Then I felt it. The familiar soft padding rubbing across my bare butt. The slight tightness of an elastic band wrapped around the top of my thigh as she pulled one tape snug. Then the other leg. She gently pushed the padding upward between my legs, gently pressing against my kitty. Her fingers pushed a little against the waistband of my skirt as she did the upper two tapes. One final pat against my bottom and she took my skirt from my hands to lower it and smooth it over the soft plastic material now cradling my ‘girly bits’. “There, that’s what Mommy’s good little girl wears this weekend, for wetting her panties,” she said as she gave my cheek a gentle peck and took my hand. I grinned as we finished the short walk to my front door and I opened it. *giggle* Yeah, I wet them because MOMMY TOLD ME TOO!!! And somehow, I love this!! Inside, she got out her phone and tapped on it. I watched a moment. Then she looked up and said simply, “Give me your keys and phone darling.” I wasn’t sure what was happening, but I trusted her enough by now. I handed them over. I watched as she slipped them both into that large handbag. Without saying a word, she took my purse from me and set it on the table. Then she turned and went down the hall to my bedroom. I waited for a moment and then started to follow her. But she reappeared and took my hand, saying simply, “Come along baby, our ride will be here any minute.” As she led me back to the front door, I noticed that handbag seemed to be bulging more than it had before. Without my purse, she tugged me out the door. She pulled it closed and checked that it locked properly. I was confused. First, I wet myself just as she told me. Then she teases me that little girls that wet themselves get put in diapers. We meet at my place, but she diapers me in the hallway. Now we’re leaving again… “Where are we going?” I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question. Her perfectly reasonable answer was direct but rather short, “Out to dinner.” When the elevator doors opened in the lobby, there were some other residents waiting, arriving home themselves. I suddenly became very aware that my current underwear was crinkling rather loudly as we stepped past them. We stopped at the curb and she checked her phone. I saw her car in the third row. “Aren’t we taking your car?” I asked. Again, what I thought was a perfectly reasonable question. And again, her answer was perfectly reasonable, if not a bit curt, “Nope. Uber. Mommy’s not going to be in any condition to drive by the time we get back.” Just then, a car drove up and the driver leaned over, “Ride for Angela?” We got in and Mommy gave him the name of a restaurant. … When we arrived, the hostess took our name and said it would be about twenty minutes. Mommy nodded and pointed, “We’ll be at the bar.” As we each took a stool, I noticed we were next to two other women. The bartender came over and Mommy looked at me, “Strawberry daiquiri?” I nodded and Mommy ordered two. As I watched the lady bartender walk away, I watched as she spoke with a waitress for a moment. Then I looked around and it slowly dawned on me. Everywoman here seemed to be paired of with another. And every guy seemed to be… Or at least they all LOOKED like they were with someone of the same gender. That couple at the other end of the bar… well maybe the left one was trans… but I couldn’t be sure. I leaned over and whispered to Mommy, “Is this… is this a…” Before I could figure out just what I wanted to ask, she leaned her shoulder against mine and whispered, “Yes sweetie, it’s mainly LGBTQ+ folks here. Just relax and enjoy your drink. Nobody here is going to judge us.” I took a sip from my newly delivered cocktail and looked about. But after a minute or so, Mommy murmured, “Don’t stare sweetie, it’s just people being themselves. Enjoying a nice evening.” She gulped the rest of her drink and ordered two more. Then she leaned over and whispered, “In case you haven’t figured it out, we’re going to have a bite to eat, I’m going to get you drunk, take you back to your place, and ravish your body until we collapse in each other’s arms.” I almost chocked for a second as she sat up straight again and winked at me with a huge smile on her face. I reached for the fresh cocktail in front of me and mumbled as I brought it to my lips, “Well… as long as you have a plan…” We looked at each other and both burst out in a fit of giggles that attracted the attention of more than one fellow patron. For ‘dinner’, we shared several different appetizers. Cheese bits, chicken bites, chips and salsa. Nothing heavy. And some more daiquiris. We both noticed our waiter was the most… so ‘campy’ and ‘limp-wristed’. He was like, “Oh you girls!!! What can I get you two lovelies???” But he did his job, checked on us once in a while to get us refills or another platter of something. Honestly, it was kind of a nice change of pace, not having him trying to hit on one of us. The more we had to drink, the more uninhibited we became. Mommy chided me for spilling some salsa, grabbing a napkin and wiping my front, “Tsk… poor baby. Does Mommy need to get you a bib? Maybe Jimmy can put your drink in a baba…” I just squirmed a bit and whispered, “Yeth Mommy.” Then I went ahead and did something to let her know I’m just her baby girl. I reached for her hand and put it up my skirt, whispering, “Mommy…. I tinkled…” Her hand squeezed as she leaned in and kissed me full on the mouth. Her tongue explored and I purred, spreading my legs for her. We both jerked when our waiter Jimmy asked, “Would you girls like your check so you can leave soon?” I blushed red as Mommy handed her credit card over. Then Mommy ordered an Uber ride for us. … It took Mommy to break our embrace when the elevator door opened. Otherwise, we would have ridden it back down to the lobby while groping at each other. As soon as I opened my apartment door and stepped inside, I turned to pull her towards me, but she took charge. She closed the door, walked me into the room a little, and turned me to face her. I tried to reach for her but she tapped my hands, “Behave baby, let Mommy do it.” My arms hung limp at my sides as she unbuttoned my blouse and shucked it back over my shoulders, letting it fall. Then she stepped closer and reached both hands behind me to undo my bra. All the while, I was staring at her face as she concentrated on her task. She pulled me against her, my naked boobs pressed against her as her hands slid down my back and unhooked the back of my skirt. In those few seconds, I’d been stripped down to just a wet diaper, standing in front of her as she whispered, “That’s a good girl…” But before I could reach for her, she turned me around to face the living area. A soft pat on my bottom as she said, “Now just stand right there… no peeking.” I did as she said, but I could hear that she was moving, taking off her pant suit. I wanted to be a good girl for her, but I was getting impatient, “Please Mommy… Hurry…. Please…” Then I felt her hands on my bare shoulders, her lips near my ear, “Mommy’s here… Mommy’s going to make her little baby girl cum…” I shivered as she stood behind me. When I tried to turn, her hands on my shoulders resisted. Then they slipped under my armpits and slid up my belly, each one cupping one of my boobs. Her lips were gently kissing my neck and my head tilted to let her. I felt her bare tits against my bare back as she nudged me forward. I took a step but was blocked by the back of the sofa. Then I felt something against my diapered butt. In a moment I realized, it wasn’t Mommy’s hips. It was… narrower, more… pointed. “Mommy? What are….” “Shhh… be a good girl now… bend over the couch….” Her hands let go of my boobs and one pushed between my shoulder blades. As I leaned forward, I stretched out my hands to support me. Her hands were sliding down my back and her fingers slipping into the waist of my diaper as she whispered, “Little girls in diapers…. Do as their Mommy says….” I whimpered, “Yes M….Mommy” as she peeled the tapes open and my diaper dropped away. One hand was on my hip and then I knew what it was. Mommy had a strapon attached to her hips and her free hand was guiding it. All I could manage as my chest heaved with my breathing was, “Please… Not my ass…..” “Shhh…. Just behave… do as Mommy says….” I bit my lip, trying to twist my neck around to see, then I felt it rubbing and suddenly parting my pussy lips. Then it slipped inside a little and I couldn’t wait any longer, I pushed my hips back, taking it inside me. I heard a soft chuckle, “My my… such a horny little diaper girl….” Her hands gripped my hips and she thrust forward, my thighs stopped at the back of the couch as it filled me. She pulled back slightly and thrust again. “Ahhhh…. Mommy….” I cried, not in pain but in desire. She started slowly, for a few strokes the only sound was her skin gently patting against my ass. Then her hands slide along my back. I lowered my head and let her fuck me. After a few more strokes, she stopped while fully against me and whispered, “Lift up your head sweetie… look out the window.” I did but there wasn’t anything that I hadn’t seen before. The night was partly lit by the moon, the distant mountain. She started moving again and soon I was purring and rocking back against her. She stopped again, “Sweetie, I said to look out the window…” I lifted my head again and she started again. But the feelings were intense, I was horny as hell and was rocking back against her, matching every stroke. When my head dropped again, she pushed forward and I felt her hands sliding up my back as she leaned over me. Her hands twirled in my hair and gathered it in a pony tail. She didn’t yank, or hurt, but she slowly pulled back on my hair, whispering, “Head up darling… stare out at the mountain…” With her holding my hair, I didn’t really have a choice. I opened my eyes and whispered, “I’m looking Mommy… I… I’m being good….” That was what she wanted, her hips started pounding, the strapon was gliding in and out of me as her grip on my hair gently tugged, holding my head up as she kept fucking me. At one point she whispered, “Every time you see that mountain…. You’re going to think of tonight…. When I made you my baby girl…” My little boobs where swaying with her thrusts. Her hips were slapping against my ass with each thrust as I stared at that mountain. Oh god… she’s right… I… I’m going to remember this… She just kept going and my knees were wobbly, she adjusted herself a little to stay inside as my hips rested on the back of the couch. I could feel my own wetness joining with the lube she had applied to the thing. I could barely keep my arms extended to support me as I quivered and started to climax. She could tell, she pulled a little harder on my hair, simply saying softly, “Eyes open… stare at that mountain when you cum…” I quivered and felt my body spasming… My mouth was open from my neck being stretched as she pulled my head back. But she didn’t stop, she just kept pounding into me. “Mommy… Mommy I need to stop…” But she didn’t say a word. She just kept at it. After several more strokes I found myself starting to get close again. All she said was, “Eyes open sweetie… the mountain… You’re my baby girl now…. “ In barely a minute, I was about to climax again. I stared at the mountain, my eyes crossed, and there were two. My belly clenched and I shivered, my pussy tried to close as she pulled back, only to be penetrated again. She thrust especially hard and I cried out…. “MOMMYYYYYY!!!!!” as I shivered and climaxed. She slowed and stopped, letting go of my hair. My arms collapsed and my face fell against the seat cushion. I expected her to pull back, but she didn’t. She just stopped, pressed inside of me as I panted, gasping. I finally moved a little, but she bumped her hips against me. Then her hands slid over my back as she leaned over me. They massaged my shoulders for a moment and I purred softly. I thought we were done. But her hands, they gently stroked down each of my arms, found my wrists, and lifted. As she pulled my arms out straight behind me, she whispered, “One more time baby…. One more time for Mommy….” “No… no please…. It… I… I can’t…” But Mommy insisted. Her hands pulled my arms back, actually lifting my shoulders from the cushion as her hips pushed my own forward. Soon I was half-standing, my hips pinned between the sofa and her. My arms pulled firmly back as she leaned back away. The strapon pushed deeper inside than I thought possible. I twisted my head to try and look back at her. She pulled her hips back for a fraction of a second, only to thrust her strapon back into me again. “That’s it baby… let the world see those little titties of yours while I fuck your cute kitty…” I was surprised at her strength. I’m not sure I could get away if I tried. But my pussy was getting sore as she kept pounding. I whipped my head side to side, my hair flailing about. All she kept saying was, “You can do it baby…. Show Mommy what a good girl you are… Cum one more time…” I was… I was getting aroused again. Her forcefulness, my helplessness… As my head twisted, I caught a glimpse of that mountain. My eyes locked onto it, and I felt myself trying to clench down against the shaft inside me. I heard my own voice, “Yes… I… I’m a good girl….. Please Mommy…. Please!!!” There was nothing I could do. Her grip was too tight. There was no position I could shift to get away from it. My tits were bare and bouncing with each thrust and I couldn’t even touch them. And there, out the window, was that mountain. I cried out, I didn’t care who in the world heard me as I screamed with my next climax. I pulled at my arms and thrust my hips so hard the couch moved and still, I shivered and quaked. As it passed, she slowly leaned forward, letting me bend over the sofa and released my wrists. She finally pulled out of me. It ached to be empty once again, but it seemed my pussy could never be the same. Like some gaping maw… I was breathing, drooling onto the cushion. Unable to move. When I felt her grip one wrist, I whined, “Noooooo…. Noooo…. Pleeeaseee… No more…” But she tugged one arm, then I felt an arm slip in front of my legs and I was lifted bodily right off the couch. I was limp as a wet noodle as she had me over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry. When I opened my eyes, I saw the dining table receding behind us as she carried me to the bedroom. I fell with a ‘plop’ onto my back on the bed. I could still barely move my arms as I watched her grab a diaper. She was naked, no sign of the artificial cock she had just used in me. She unfolded the diaper and gripped my ankles. I winced a tiny bit when she held the padding against my aching pussy, taping it into place. Then a shove and she was lying next to me. She pulled me towards her, half on top of her as my one leg lifted across her, my arm hugging her. I felt her lips kiss my hair and passed out. To Be Continued

Chapter 15 - Preparations Ellen prepared for the cruise the way a quartermaster prepares for a campaign, and somewhere in the preparing I understood that the holiday had stopped being a thing we were going on and become a thing she was building. It was full spring now, turning toward summer, and I noticed one warm morning, dressing in a light shirt with no jumper to layer over it, that the thing I had spent the winter hiding under wool was no longer a thing I was hiding at all. The cover had gone, the heavy trousers and the thick jumpers packed away with the cold, and I stood in the bright bedroom in summer-weight clothes and realized I did not mind, that I had stopped, somewhere across those months, scanning myself in the mirror for what might show, because I had stopped being afraid of being seen. The wool had hidden me all winter while something else, something slower, had been quietly happening underneath it, and now the wool was gone and the something else had done its work, and I could stand in a thin shirt in May light and be perfectly at ease. I had been so glad, in January, of the cold and the layers. I did not need them now. That was its own small measure of the distance travelled, and I let myself notice it, and then I went down to help Ellen with the campaign. The supplies were the heart of it. Eight nights, four changes a day, plus the long excursion days when a change might not be possible for hours and a heavier one was prudent, plus a sensible margin for the unexpected, because Ellen does not travel to the Arctic Circle and run short of anything. She sat at the kitchen table one evening with the notebook and the calculator and worked it out to the unit, the way she works everything out, and then she ordered it, and when it came it filled a corner of the spare room, plain packages that she regarded with the quiet satisfaction of a woman who has provisioned correctly. "That's a lot of diapers," I said, looking at the wall of them. "That's the right number of diapers," she said. "Which is a different thing, and a better one." She was already thinking about the suitcase. "They'll have their own case. The hard one. There's no sense trying to thread them in among the clothes, we'll want them all together and easy to get at, and the case can come home empty for the things you'll buy me in the ports." She made a note. "You are buying me things in the ports. I've decided. Consider it the freight charge." I did not argue. I had stopped arguing about the small things weeks ago, and discovered, to my surprise, that a life with fewer small arguments in it is a lighter life, and that conceding the inconsequential to Ellen was less a defeat than a kind of rest. The exposure doctrine, which had already taken in a pharmacist and a saleswoman and a parking attendant, now went fully professional, and I listened to it happen with my ears burning, and noticed, as I always now noticed, that the burning faded faster every time. She rang the travel agent first, the cheerful woman who had booked the whole thing for us over a year before, back when it was going to be an ordinary anniversary cruise for an ordinary couple. I sat at the kitchen table and heard Ellen's half of it, clear and flat and entirely without apology. "I wanted to flag something so the right arrangements are in place. My husband is incontinent, he wears protection full-time, and we'll be travelling with a lot of medical supplies. I'd like to be sure the cabin's suitable and the transfers allow for it." A pause. "Yes. Yes, that's right. No, he manages perfectly well, we just need the practicalities sorted." And the travel agent, audible as a friendly murmur down the line, was apparently neither shocked nor even particularly interested, was simply helpful, making notes of her own, and the call ended with Ellen thanking her and writing something in the notebook, and the whole of my great private shame had been processed, once again, as a logistics matter by a professional who dealt with such things before lunch. Then she emailed the cruise line, the special-needs desk, and that exchange came back with the same brisk competence: yes, of course, they would arrange a sharps-and-medical bin in the cabin, serviced daily, additional collections as required, the steward would be briefed, would we like the bin lined and lidded, was there anything else they could prepare. Ellen read it out to me across the table in a tone of mild vindication. "There," she said. "You see. They have a desk for it. A whole desk, with people who do nothing but arrange exactly this, all day, for hundreds of people a year. You spent six months certain you were a unique catastrophe, and it turns out there's a help desk." She typed her reply. "Lined and lidded, yes please. He's not a unique catastrophe. He's a Tuesday with a cabin number." I had thought, when this all began, that letting the world know would be a series of small deaths. It had turned out to be the opposite. Every professional who absorbed the fact of me without a flicker took a little more of the shame off the pile, and by the time Ellen was emailing cruise lines about bin collections I found I could sit and listen to my own incontinence being administratively arranged and feel almost nothing at all, except a sort of distant gratitude that the world was so much more practiced at this than I had ever let myself believe. A new brand arrived two weeks before we sailed, and it was with the new brand that Ellen showed me, plainly, that the rules had changed, and that she knew I knew, and that she expected no argument, and got none. It was thicker than anything I had worn. Noticeably. I opened the box she pointed me to and lifted one out and felt the heft of it, the substance, and I looked at her. "These are a lot more than the premium ones," I said. "I haven't leaked through the premium ones in weeks. The physio's working, the doctor said so. I'm needing less, if anything, not more." "I know," said Ellen. She did not elaborate immediately. She let it sit, the way she lets things sit, and she looked at me with an expression I had come to know, the calm and slightly amused expression of a woman who has decided something and is waiting to see whether you will make her spell it out or whether you will, as you increasingly do, simply understand. "Then why these?" I asked, because I wanted, I think, to hear her say it. "Because I wanted to see these on you," she said simply. "That's all. Not because you need them. We settled that in the car park, didn't we, that it's not about need anymore. It's about what we want. And I wanted to see you in the thicker ones for the trip. I like the idea of it. Eight days at sea, you properly looked after, in good thick ones, not because the doctor's frightened of your bladder but because I'd like you that way." She held my eye. "You can tell me no. You can always tell me no, that's the whole arrangement, the no is real or none of it means anything. But I don't think you're going to tell me no." And I did not tell her no. I stood in the spare room with a diaper thicker than any I had worn in my hand, and I understood that we had just crossed, openly and by daylight, the line we had been walking toward for weeks, the line between protection chosen because a body required it and protection chosen because a woman wanted it and a man wanted to be wanted that way. Every escalation before this one had been earned by an accident, a leak, a failure in the field. This one was earned by nothing but her pleasure and my consent to it. And I found, standing there, that her saying it out loud, because I wanted to see these on you, did not embarrass me the way a year of smaller things had embarrassed me. It warmed me. It steadied me. It was the truest thing either of us had said about what we now were, and I handed the diaper back to her and said, "All right," and the all right meant yes, and we both knew it, and she put the thick ones on the top of the suitcase pile where they would be the first thing reached for. We went back to Monique together, Ellen and I, for the cruise wardrobe, and it was Monique who solved the one worry I had not been able to solve for myself. There was a plain practical reason for the visit to begin with. The trousers from before had been cut to sit cleanly over the premium diapers, and they did, beautifully, but I was in the thicker travel ones now, the ones Ellen had wanted to see on me, and the extra bulk of them, though slight, was just enough that the old trousers pulled a fraction where they hadn't before. Not obvious. But I could see it, and Ellen could see it, and a cruise is eight days, and a cruise has formal nights, and a cruise has a great many people in a relatively small floating space who would be seeing me, the same people, day after day, with nothing much to do but look at one another. If there was a fraction to be seen, someone, over eight days, would see it. So we needed trousers cut for the thicker ones, and that was the errand, and I had a worry stacked on top of the errand that I had not yet found a way to solve. I confessed it to Monique while she had me up on the little dais, because she had long since become a person I could confess such things to. It was the bulk, I said, but it was more than the bulk. It was the height of them. The premium ones I had worn all winter had sat low, their top edge finishing a good few centimeters below the waistband of my trousers, tucked safely down out of sight, so that even bending or reaching there was only ever trouser and belt above them and nothing to see. The new thick ones were a different proposition entirely. They came up far higher, the front of them rising all the way to my navel and beyond, so that now the top edge of the diaper stood several centimeters above the waistband of my trousers, a band of plain white showing clear above the belt whenever my shirt lifted or my jacket fell open, exactly where no such thing should ever be. In the old ones the trousers had hidden everything. In these, even well cut, there was a real chance of the diaper itself showing, at the front when I reached up, at the back when I leaned on a rail, a clear inch of it standing proud of my waistband for anyone to clock, and eight days was a long time in front of the same faces. Was there anything to be done about that, or did one simply accept that someone, eventually, would notice. Monique considered this with the seriousness she brought to all such problems, which is to say as a question of cloth and engineering and not of shame. "What you want," she said, "is to take the waistband out of the equation entirely, and stop anything riding up or gapping at the back when you bend. And the answer to that is older than any of this." She smiled. "When mine were babies I had them in those little bodysuits, the ones that fasten under, day and night, because nothing rides up, nothing gaps, everything stays put and smooth no matter how they wriggled. The grown-up version's the same idea. A plain bodysuit, white, snug, worn under the shirt, fastened under so it can't ride up. It holds your protection close and flat, smooths the whole line, and there's simply no waistband to show because it's tucked away under the suit. Nobody sees a thing. You could bend over the rail for a week and more and there'd be nothing to notice." It was, the moment she said it, obviously right, and I felt the worry dissolve. "Where would I even get such a thing?" "I know a seamstress, does alterations for us, lovely work. She'd run you up a few in plain cotton, made to your measure so they fit properly, which the shop-bought ones never do on a grown man." And then, because she was Monique and thought of the part I would have dreaded, "And there's no need for you to go and be measured and fitted all over again somewhere else. I can take your measurements now, while you're here, and pass them to her with the order, and you'll never have to set foot in the place. They'll just arrive done." She was already reaching for her tape. "Pop into the room and I'll take what I need." And so I went into the fitting room and Monique took my measurements through the process she made entirely unmomentous, and I did not have to present my situation to one more stranger, and a small problem that had been sitting on my chest for a week was solved in five minutes by a woman with a tape measure and a good idea she had got from her own children. I came out of that shop, as I had come out of it before, lighter than I went in, marvelling again at how much of the help I had spent my life refusing had been there the whole time for the simple price of asking. What I did not hear, because I was in the fitting room with the curtain drawn while it was arranged, was the rest of the conversation. Ellen told me about it eventually, long after, when such things had become things we could smile about together. But she did not tell me at the time, and at the time I knew nothing of it, and I have decided to set it down here in its proper place because it belongs to the preparations even though I did not witness it. While I was behind the curtain, Ellen had drawn Monique a little to one side, and lowered her voice, not unkindly but practically, in the register of one competent woman briefing another. "The bodysuits are a good idea," she said. "We'll have several. But I want to ask you something, and I'd rather he didn't hear the particulars, so quickly while he's in there." A glance at the curtain. "He has a history of taking his protection off when he shouldn't. Not lately, but it caused us a great deal of trouble when it happened, a ruined day, an accident in public, the lot, and it came from him being able to simply remove things himself when his pride got the better of his sense. So I'd like at least one of the bodysuits, perhaps two, made so that he can't easily get out of it on his own. No fastenings he can reach. A zip up the back rather than anything underneath, the sort of thing that needs another pair of hands. Can your seamstress do that?" Monique, who had seen a great deal in her years of fitting the human body and its difficulties, did not bat an eye. "Easily," she said. "Back zip, set high, no pull he can get a grip on himself. I'll mark it on the order. He'll not get out of that without you, and it'll look like an ordinary vest from the front, nobody any the wiser." A small professional pause. "Very sensible, if you don't mind my saying. It's the same principle as the babies, really. You fasten it where the wearer can't reach, and then you don't have to worry about it." "Exactly the principle," said Ellen, and thanked her, and the order was placed, the plain bodysuits and the one or two that fastened only at Ellen's discretion, and the curtain opened and I came out knowing none of it, pleased with my clever solution to the waistband, with no idea that my wife had just quietly arranged for some part of my protection to become, for the first time, something I could not take off without her, and that she had done it for reasons that were half practical and half something else entirely, something she was still discovering the size of in herself. She filed it away, the knowledge of those particular garments coming in the post, the way she filed everything. And the reader knows it now, and I know it now, but I did not know it then, and that gap, between what Ellen had arranged and what I understood, was about to become one of the quiet pleasures of her life, and, in time, of mine. The swimming she ruled on without much ceremony. There was a pool on the ship, and decks for lying in the sun on the warmer southern legs of the voyage, and I had wondered, vaguely and anxiously, what was to be done about any of that. Ellen had not wondered. Ellen had already decided. "There are containment swim things," she said, "the kind that hold an accident in the water, they make them, I looked." "What does that even mean," I said, "containment. How does anything contain anything underwater? It'd just fill up." "It's not absorbent," she said, with the patience of a woman who had read the product descriptions properly while I had not. "That's the whole point of them, and the thing people get wrong. An absorbent one would just swell up full of pool water and do nothing, you're quite right. The containment ones are sealed instead, snug elastic at the waist and round the legs, so that if you had the other kind of accident, a solid one, it stays put and doesn't end up in the pool with everyone else. That's all they're for. The solids. They don't do a thing for wee, your wee just goes in the water the same as everybody else's in that pool, which is a cheerful thought I'd suggest you don't dwell on while you're swimming. So for you, who only has the bladder to worry about, a containment brief in a swimming pool is honestly close to pointless. Which is rather my argument." "Ah," I said, enlightened and faintly appalled. "Yes. Ah." She went on. "But honestly, for the pool, I think we keep it simple and you give the swimming a miss. It's eight days. There's a hot tub you can sit in if you fancy it, but if you do, you'll wear a swim brief with a containment one underneath, no arguments, because a hot tub is exactly where the other kind of accident would matter and I'm not having you be the reason they drain the thing. That part I'm firm on. But proper swimming, lengths, I'd rather not chance it and have us both worrying. You can lie on a deck chair like a sensible man and read your book and be brought drinks, which is a better holiday than swimming anyway, and far less effort." She looked at me. "Unless you feel strongly." "I don't feel strongly about swimming." "No," she said. "I didn't think you did. You've never once voluntarily got into a swimming pool in thirty years. Settled, then. Deck chair, book, drinks. I'll put a containment brief in for the hot tub and that's the swimming dealt with." And it was, and I noticed, the way I noticed everything now, that I had just had a small decision made entirely for me, a thing ruled on and settled and removed from my hands, and that I had not minded in the least, had in fact felt the small familiar ease of it, the relief of a thing decided by someone I trusted so that I did not have to carry even the question of it. The night before we flew, she laid my clothes out on the chair. I came up to bed and found them there, the travel outfit for the morning, the comfortable trousers and the soft shirt for the flight, folded with her particular precision over the back of the bedroom chair, and on top of the pile, where it could not be missed, where it was simply the first and most obvious item of the morning's dressing, the thick diaper, the new kind, the one she wanted to see me in. I stood and looked at it for a while. It undid something in me, that chair, though I could not have said exactly what, and it was a long time before I understood it, and when I understood it I did not mind. She had laid out clothes on a chair like that thousands of times in our marriage, but never my own, never for me. She had done it for the children, every one of them, the night before a school trip or a first day, the little outfits laid ready on the chair so the morning would be smooth and nothing forgotten and the child would wake to find everything prepared and have only to be dressed. She had done it for three children across twenty years, and now, on the night before we sailed for the top of the world, she had done it for me, laid out my morning on the chair down to the diaper on top, so that I would wake and find everything prepared and have only to be seen to. "All set for the morning," she said, from the bed, watching me look at it. "No fuss, no forgetting. Everything's ready. I'll do you before we leave for the airport." "You think of everything," I said, and my voice was not quite even. "Somebody has to," she said, but gently, and she held the covers back for me, and I came to bed, and she turned off the light, and I lay in the dark beside her with the chair a pale shape at the edge of my vision, the morning laid out on it, everything prepared, and I slept better than I had slept in years, the deep untroubled sleep of a man who has, at last, stopped carrying a thing he was never any good at carrying, and handed it to the one person who was, and been glad, purely and simply glad, to let it go. We were down to one night now. Whatever Ellen had decided, and I had begun to understand that she had decided something, some larger thing she was steering us both toward with all her quiet certainty, she had not yet told me what it was. And I fell asleep with no idea at all of what she had settled would happen at the top of the world, and no fear of it either, only the chair in the dark, and the morning laid out, and her breathing slow and certain beside me, carrying us both north.

I've been exploring classical/pavlovian conditioning recently. The goal is to have a trigger that creates something like urge incontinence. Engage the trigger, suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to urinate. The origin came after exploring "latchkey urgency" or "latchkey incontinence", where when arriving home after some hours away, feeling no real urgency, as soon as you reach your front door, you have a SUDDEN, URGENT need to go to the toilet. The theory is that you've accidentally conditioned yourself (using the same classical/pavlovian conditioning as soon with Pavlov's dogs), connecting arriving home to urinating. If the first thing you do when getting home after some time away, is go to the toilet, then an association forms. I extended this thinking to a deliberate trigger. I thought about different triggers available, but wanting to avoid something I'd come across in general life. Tactile triggers, odours, sounds, are the most common. I decided to explore odours, using an essential oil (like a concentrated aromatherapy scent). Something unlikely to be found in general life, but distinct enough to condition against. Clove oil is really good, and Vetiver is pretty decent too. Clove is more distinctive and probably more trainable, but perhaps too likely to come across in life. Vetiver is a bit more vague, but less common. Choose something that's good for you. After some two months of training (every time I needed to pee, I would smell the trigger first, some 1-30 seconds prior to going to the toilet, or wetting my diaper). Today, I was coming home, feeling some minor urgency, I smelled the trigger, and suddenly I wasn't even able to open the front door before I wet my training pants. It's certainly not conclusive, and there's obvious overlap with latchkey incontinence, but it feels like a really positive step. I've started gathering data, so perhaps in a month or three I can produce some charts. But the signs are positive enough I thought others might like to know about my approach. Feel free to ask questions.

Chapter 7: Saturday morning arrived beneath clear blue skies. For Ben, it felt as though it had taken years. He wasn’t sure he’d actually slept. If he had, it couldn’t have been for more than an hour or two at a time. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind replayed the dinner from the week before. Emily’s warm smile. Kevin’s easy laugh. The invitation. “We’d like you to spend next weekend with us.” Each time he looked at the clock, fewer hours remained. Eventually, he gave up trying to sleep. At six-thirty in the morning, he climbed out of bed and wandered into the tiny kitchenette of his apartment. He made toast. Took one bite. Lost his appetite. The toast eventually found its way into the trash. His stomach wasn’t upset. He was simply too excited. And too nervous. His phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. A text from Kevin. Kevin: Good morning, Ben. Hope you managed to get some rest. Our driver should arrive around 9:00. No rush when you get here—we’re just looking forward to seeing you. Ben smiled. He quickly typed back. Ben: Morning. I’ll be ready. Looking forward to seeing you both too. He hesitated before adding another sentence. Ben: Thanks again for inviting me. A response appeared only a minute later. Kevin: You’re very welcome. Safe travels. Emily has been counting down the days. Ben chuckled quietly. Somehow, that made him even more nervous. He looked around his apartment. Kevin had told him not to pack much. “Just bring a light bag,” he’d written. “Anything you’ll need this weekend, Emily and I have already taken care of.” That sentence still puzzled Ben. What exactly had they prepared? He tried not to think about it. Instead, he packed carefully. A change of clothes. Toothbrush. Phone charger. Wallet. A paperback mystery novel he’d been halfway through. One extra pair of shoes. That was it. The small duffel bag looked almost empty. He zipped it closed anyway. By eight o’clock, there was nothing left to do. So he waited. He sat on the couch. Stood up. Walked to the window. Looked outside. Sat back down. He checked the time. 8:03. Only three minutes had passed. He sighed. “This is ridiculous.” He picked up his book. Read the same page three times without absorbing a single word. His eyes drifted back to his watch. 8:17. He laughed to himself. “I just checked…” Another walk around the apartment. He made sure the lights were off. Checked the faucet. Checked the stove. Checked his wallet again. Everything was exactly where it should be. Still…He checked once more. His thoughts wandered. What if this weekend changes everything? He pictured eating breakfast with Kevin and Emily. Watching movies. Talking. Laughing. He’d imagined family life countless times growing up. Sometimes while sitting alone in foster homes. Sometimes while walking past neighborhoods where parents played with their children outside. Sometimes during Christmas when everyone else seemed to have somewhere to go. Now…For the first time…Someone had invited him in. Not out of obligation. Not because they had to. Because they wanted to. The realization settled heavily in his chest. He blinked rapidly. “No crying,” he muttered with a nervous laugh. “Not before they even pick you up.” Across town, the Harrison penthouse was already alive with activity. Emily had been awake since dawn. She’d insisted on making breakfast herself despite the chef offering several times to help. The kitchen counters were covered in ingredients. Pancake batter. Fresh strawberries. Blueberries. Whipped cream. Maple syrup. Kevin walked in carrying a mug of coffee. “You’ve made enough pancakes for a football team.” Emily looked over her shoulder. “I don’t know how hungry he’ll be.” Kevin smiled. “I don’t think anyone has ever starved in this apartment.” She laughed. “I know.” She carefully arranged fruit onto a serving platter. “I just want everything to be nice.” “It already is.” Kevin wandered over and peeked into the guest room once more. The bed had been perfectly made. Fresh flowers sat beside the welcome card. The navy sweatshirt Emily had purchased rested neatly folded at the foot of the bed, alongside the pajamas and slippers she’d carefully chosen. He smiled. She really had thought of everything. Emily joined him in the hallway. “Do you think he’ll actually use any of those?” Kevin looked toward the folded clothes. “I’m not sure.” “I probably went overboard.” “You definitely did.” She sighed. “I know.” Kevin wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “But it came from the right place.” She leaned against him. “I keep remembering what he said. I’ve never been invited to spend a weekend with a family before.’” Kevin nodded. “So do I.” Emily smiled softly. “I hope when he leaves on Sunday…” She paused. “…he leaves with a few happy memories.” Kevin looked at her. “I have a feeling all three of us will.” Back in his apartment, Ben glanced at his watch again. 8:45. Only fifteen minutes. His heart began beating a little faster. He slipped on his blazer—not because anyone had asked him to dress formally, but because it made him feel a little more confident. He picked up his duffel bag. Set it back down. Checked the apartment one final time. Then stood by the window. Every dark sedan that drove down the street caught his attention. Every time one continued past, his anticipation grew. He looked at his watch once more. 8:58. Two minutes. He rested a hand on the strap of his duffel bag and took a slow, steady breath. In less than an hour, he would be stepping into a home unlike any he had ever known. He had no way of knowing exactly what awaited him behind the doors of the Harrison penthouse. But for the first time since he was a little boy, the future didn’t feel lonely. It felt full of possibility. Chapter 8: At precisely nine o’clock, a gleaming black Rolls-Royce eased to the curb outside Ben’s apartment building. Ben glanced out the window, his heart skipping a beat. “They’re actually here.” He grabbed his duffel bag, took one last look around his apartment, locked the door behind him, and walked downstairs. As he stepped onto the sidewalk, the driver was already waiting beside the rear passenger door. The gentleman appeared to be in his late fifties, neatly dressed in a tailored black suit, polished shoes, and a matching chauffeur’s cap. His posture was impeccable, but the warm smile on his face immediately put Ben at ease. “You must be Ben.” Ben smiled. “I am.” The driver extended his hand. “I’m Dave.” They shook hands. “It’s nice to meet you.” “And you as well.” Dave reached for the duffel bag. “I’ve got that.” “Oh, you don’t have to—” “I insist.” Ben hesitated only briefly before allowing Dave to place the bag carefully into the trunk. Once they were both seated, Dave eased the car into traffic with practiced smoothness. For several minutes, neither spoke. The city slowly drifted past the windows. Ben found himself admiring the quiet luxury of the vehicle. The leather seats were softer than any furniture he’d ever owned. The cabin was almost silent despite the busy streets outside. Everything felt…Effortless. Dave noticed Ben looking around. “First time riding in one of these?” Ben laughed sheepishly. “Is it that obvious?” Dave chuckled. “A little.” “It’s… nice.” Dave smiled. “They are.” Another comfortable silence settled between them before Dave spoke again. “So.” Ben looked over. “Nervous?” Ben laughed. “Very.” “I figured.” Dave kept his eyes on the road. “I’ve worked for Mr. and Mrs. Harrison for ten years.” “Really?” “I started shortly after they moved into the penthouse.” Ben listened carefully. “They’re good people.” There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in Dave’s voice. “They treat everyone with respect. The staff. The concierge. The housekeeping team.My family.” Ben looked over. “Your family?” Dave nodded. “When my daughter graduated college, they came to her graduation party.” Ben blinked. “They did?” “They insisted.” A smile crossed Dave’s face. “They’ve always remembered birthdays. Anniversaries. They ask about my grandchildren.” Ben found himself smiling. “They sound…They’re exactly how they seemed at dinner.” Dave glanced over briefly. “I imagine this weekend means a great deal to them.” Ben nodded quietly. “I think it does.” Dave smiled. “And judging by the look on your face…It means a great deal to you too.” Ben looked out the window. “…Yeah.” His voice was almost a whisper. “It really does.” As they continued downtown, the buildings grew taller. Glass towers reflected the morning sunlight. Busy sidewalks filled with professionals enjoying the weekend. Dave eventually slowed as they approached one of the city’s most recognizable residential skyscrapers. Ben’s eyes widened. The building was breathtaking. Its sleek glass exterior shimmered beneath the morning sun, while polished stone framed the grand entrance. Fresh landscaping surrounded the property, and elegant fountains flanked the driveway. The entire tower had the look of something pulled from the pages of an architectural magazine. Dave smiled knowingly. “It had a major renovation last year.” Ben stared upward. The building seemed impossibly tall. Way up near the top…The penthouse occupied the highest floors. It almost disappeared into the clouds. The view must be unbelievable, Ben thought. Dave pulled beneath the covered entrance where uniformed attendants immediately approached. One opened Ben’s door. Another retrieved his duffel bag. Dave stepped out beside him. “Welcome home…” He stopped himself with an apologetic smile. “I suppose it’s a little early to say that.” Ben smiled warmly. “…Maybe not.” Dave grinned. “I hope you enjoy your weekend, Ben.” “I already think I will.” They shook hands. “Thank you.” “My pleasure.” Ben turned toward the enormous entrance. The revolving glass doors opened into a magnificent marble lobby. Crystal chandeliers hung overhead. Fresh flowers decorated elegant tables. Soft classical music played quietly through hidden speakers. The air carried the faint scent of polished wood and fresh lilies. Before Ben could take more than a few steps, an older gentleman behind the concierge desk smiled. “You must be Mr. Ben Carter.” Ben nodded. “Yes, sir.” The gentleman stepped around the desk. “My name is Charlie.” He extended his hand. “I’m the head doorman here.” “It’s nice to meet you.” “You as well.” Charlie smiled warmly. “We’ve been expecting you.” Ben couldn’t help smiling. “You have?” “Oh yes.” He lowered his voice conspiratorially. “Mrs. Harrison has mentioned your visit several times this week.” Ben chuckled. “That sounds like her.” Charlie gestured toward a set of private elevators tucked away from the main bank. “If you’ll follow me.” They crossed the lobby together. Charlie stopped before a pair of beautifully crafted bronze elevator doors. “This elevator serves only the penthouse residence.” He pointed toward a single button positioned slightly apart from the others. “Simply press the top button. t will notify Mr. Harrison that you’ve arrived. Once he grants access, the elevator will take you directly upstairs.” Ben nodded. “Thank you.” Charlie smiled. “Enjoy your stay, Mr. Carter. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.” “I… thank you.” Charlie tipped his hat before returning to the lobby. Ben stood alone before the elevator. He shifted the strap of his duffel bag on his shoulder. His pulse quickened. He reached forward. Pressed the illuminated top button. For a moment…Nothing happened. Then his phone vibrated. A text from Kevin. Kevin: We’ve got you. See you in just a minute. Almost immediately, the elevator chimed. The bronze doors slid open silently. Ben stepped inside. The doors closed behind him. The elevator began its smooth ascent. Floor after floor slipped by. The city outside the glass panel beside him gradually fell away. Soon, neighboring rooftops disappeared beneath him. Then office towers. The skyline stretched farther and farther into the distance. Sunlight poured through the glass as the elevator climbed toward the very top of the building. Finally…The elevator slowed. A gentle chime echoed through the cabin. The doors began to slide open. Standing just beyond them, waiting with unmistakable anticipation, were Kevin and Emily. Emily clasped her hands together to keep from fidgeting, while Kevin wore the same calm, welcoming smile Ben remembered from dinner. For a heartbeat, all three of them simply looked at one another. Then Kevin stepped forward “Welcome,” he said warmly. “We’re so glad you made it.”

Annual Reviews at work are coming up. Most people are expecting raises and promotions, but after your third time wetting your desk you're worried about one thing. You walk in and see the manager of your department as well as the CFO, HR and The Youth Employee Manager. "Hi." You bow your head. "Have a seat." They tell you. You sit down and HR speaks first. "First we'd like to say you've been doing stellar work for the company, everything is fast, efficient and done right." "Thank you, ma'am." The CFO speaks next "Although we have some concerns with cleaning and maintenance costs in your work space and we want to move you to another office zone." "Will I still be in the accounting department?" You ask. "Yes." The CFO returns, "You do the job well, we wouldn't want to lose you." The Youth Employee Manager speaks comfortingly. "You will still work under the accounting manager, but you'll also be reporting to me." "But I'm an adult, I don't need diapers or supervision." You get worried. "That's something else we wanted to discuss." "No, no, no. Gary tell her I'm fine." You beg the accounting manager. "I'm sorry, but three accidents in 6 months is a lot." The Youth Employee Manager speaks again. "Please don't make this hard. Climb up on the table and I'll get you changed. Then we'll set you up in your new zone." "I'm cued up for a management position. I'm next in line. Will this effect that." HR explains. "Sorry kiddo, youth employees aren't able to be promoted to management and you'll also be working under everyone else in accounting. You'll be an accounting assistant." "Please I have a wife and daughter." You beg, "I can't take a pay cut this close to Christmas time." She ignores you. "Now please get on the table." The youth Employee Manager says, "I don't wanna have to spank you." "I'm sorry ma'am." You say, holding back tears. You climb up and she tugs down your suit pants and underwear. Quickly she powders your special parts and tapes you into a big bulky diaper. Soon you find yourself being walked through the halls, holding hands with your new manager. She helps you put your work stuff in a box then walks you down the hall to a colourful room labeled Youth Employee Den Walking in you see 7 adult looking people sitting on padded floors working on their laptops. All of them are in diapers just like you. She places your box in a cubby with your name already written on it and hands you your laptop. "Check your emails for new assignments, kiddo." She walks to the corner of the room and sits in a recliner chair, clearly she's keeping an eye on all of you. You join the others on the floor, knowing this is your life for a long time coming. A woman in a short dress, her diaper exposed talks on the phone. "Hi Mr Jefferson. I'm Kaitlyn a Youth Sales associate at Munna Snack Cakes. Our records show your store hasn't made an order in 6 months." She's silent for a few seconds and speaks with a happy voice "Why yes, my diaper is dry and I should be able to patch you over to a grown up in some time. Are you willing to hold?" You look over at two men, one is making a slide show about monster trucks and the other is typing up some kind of Excell spreadsheet about which sesame street character should be on which snack cake for the brand deal. You open your laptop and it claims a new software download is mandatory. You click yes and wait for it to download. As you move the mouse around you notice that it has a dictionary description for each word when you hover over it and two buttons at the bottom of your screen have a picture of a crying baby and a picture of a diaper. You click on the crying baby and then you hear a ding come from the Youth Employee Managers phone. You look over and see her walking towards you. "What's wrong cutie pie? Need Help already?" "No I'm ok. I just didn't know what these buttons do." You say, looking embarrassed. "Ok, well the one you pressed let's the grown up in charge of you know you need help and the little diaper button lets me know when you need your diaper changed." "Oh good. So I won't have to deal with random checks." You breathed a sigh of relief. "No I'll still be checking you every half hour, but this is just a way of proving you're mature enough to ask for a change." She ruffles your hair, "you ne ver know when you'll be ready to start potty training again."

Chapter 88 I didn’t wake up until nine that morning—not bad, considering I’d only gone to bed around four. Betsy was due to arrive in just thirty minutes, so I jumped into the shower and grabbed a quick breakfast. I was just finishing up when she walked through the door, her face lit up with excitement. What a great day we’re going to have! she said cheerfully. I smiled. I agree with that. She tilted her head. So… what’s on the agenda? I grinned. You’ll find out as the day goes on. I walked over and gave her a warm hug, then gently patted her bottom. No diaper today. Her face fell into a playful pout. No? Well, I said, we might be able to get away with it if you wear a dress. So if you want one on, go grab your diaper bag—and make sure there’s an extra one in there, just in case. Her eyes lit up again. Okay! she said, and in a flash, she was out the door. Before I knew it, Betsy was back—her underwear off, dress lifted, standing with a shy but expectant look. She was ready to be diapered, and I didn’t keep her waiting. Once she was snug in her new diaper, we headed out the door. She kept asking what we were doing for the day, her curiosity bubbling over. I just smiled and said, You’ll find out as the day goes on. She pouted a little, clearly hoping for more, but didn’t press again. Our first stop was the shopping mall, where we walked into a baby store. As we stepped inside, Betsy looked around and asked, Why are we here? You need to pick out a diaper pail, I told her. One for your used diapers. She blinked, then simply said, Oh. As we made our way toward the back of the store, two little girls—maybe three years old—came running past us in just diapers and t-shirts, their mom trailing behind, calling for them to slow down. I glanced at Betsy with a grin. See? You’re not the only one who likes to run around in just a diaper and a tee. Want to join them? She shot me a playful dirty look and kept walking. When we reached the diaper pails, I told her to pick the one she liked best. It didn’t take long—she found one with soft colors and a simple design that made her smile. As we headed to the counter, I noticed a sign offering custom name engraving on the pails. I asked the clerk about the price—it was reasonable—so I turned to Betsy. What style and color do you think Baby Betsy would like? Her cheeks turned pink, but she stepped up and told the saleswoman her choice. The saleswoman told us it would take about thirty minutes to personalize the diaper pail. As we stepped out into the mall, I noticed Betsy was unusually quiet. Her shoulders were a little tense, her smile gone. I glanced over. Hey… what’s wrong? She hesitated, then said softly, You embarrassed me in the store. I blinked. How? You told her the diaper pail was for me. I shook my head gently. No, I didn’t. I asked you what you thought baby Betsy would like on her new diaper pail. I never said it was yours. She frowned. But… you said my name. I said baby Betsy. I never told her your name was Betsy. She has no idea who it’s for. Betsy paused, thinking it over. Then she let out a small sigh. Yeah… I guess you’re right. I smiled, relieved. What I didn’t say—what I kept to myself—was that her pink cheeks and shy smile probably gave it away. We wandered into another baby store in the mall, just to see if Betsy wanted to gather ideas for her future baby collection once we moved in together. She browsed quietly, taking everything in. The only thing that caught her eye was a set of pacifiers. I leaned in and said, You might want to wait on those until we move in. Wouldn’t want your mom stumbling across them. She nodded quickly. Yeah… good idea. With that, we headed back to the first store to pick up the diaper pail. The same friendly saleswoman greeted us and waved us over. Before you go, she said, I wanted to show you something neat that comes with the pail. She pointed to a small built-in scent sprayer. It goes off every thirty seconds, so even if there’s a messy diaper inside, you won’t smell a thing. I smiled. That’s brilliant. Betsy’s cheeks turned pink again, clearly flustered by the mention of messy diapers. I figured that was our cue to wrap things up. I thanked the saleswoman, grabbed the pail, and gently guided Betsy out of the store. Once we were back in the car, Betsy turned to me. Where are we going now? We’re heading to see the guy who’s building your changing table, I said. She looked surprised. Why? Two reasons, I explained. First, we need to drop off your new diaper pail so he can fit it into the design. And second, I thought you might want to see your changing table in progress. She hesitated, then shook her head. I don’t want to go in. Why not? I asked gently. I don’t want him to know I wear diapers, she said, her voice barely above a whisper. I gave her a reassuring smile. He doesn’t know that. All he knows is that you have some trouble staying dry at night and need protection while you sleep. That’s it. She still looked unsure, so I added, And besides, he builds furniture like this for lots of people—especially for adults who identify as littles. He’s used to it. Just like the woman we saw yesterday. And that went really well, didn’t it? Betsy thought for a moment, then gave a small nod. Yeah… I guess it did. When we arrived at the workshop, I turned to Betsy. You coming in? She hesitated. I guess so… She wasn’t sure, but after a moment, she followed me inside. We met up with the craftsman, and I handed him the diaper pail. He greeted us warmly and led Betsy over to her changing table, walking her through the layout—where everything would go, how the compartments worked, and asking if she wanted to add anything or change the paint color she’d picked. Betsy nodded. No changes. I still love the color. The best part? He had a knack for humor. He kept cracking jokes—light, silly, and just the right kind to make Betsy laugh until she was nearly doubled over. I honestly thought she might wet her diaper from laughing so hard. She had a great time, and I was glad to see her so relaxed. Eventually, I had to gently break up the laughter. Alright, giggle monster—we’ve got a long drive ahead. Time to hit the road. As we were heading out, I pointed to a nearly finished crib tucked in the corner. What do you think of that one? Betsy’s eyes lit up. It’s so pretty. I wish I was getting it. I smiled to myself, keeping the secret. She was getting it—it was a surprise for when we moved in together. I just hadn’t figured out where we’d put it yet. She admired it for a good ten minutes, tracing the edges and imagining it in her space. Then I gently nudged her. Come on—we need to grab lunch, and we’ve got an hour’s drive ahead of us. She nodded, still smiling, and we headed out—one step closer to building the life she’d been dreaming of. After lunch, Betsy leaned over and asked, Where are we going now? I smiled. We’re heading to our new apartment. I need to sign the lease and drop off the deposit. Then we’ll go up and take a look so you can start thinking about how you want to set everything up. Her eyes lit up. Really? Yep, I said. I’ve got all the furniture measurements with me, and we’ve got parking sorted. I even brought some tape so we can lay it out on the floor and see how everything will fit. She grinned. That sounds like fun—and a really good idea. As we got back in the car, I glanced at her diaper bag. How many diapers did you pack? Two, she said, then raised an eyebrow. Why? I chuckled. Because with all that pop you had at lunch, I don’t think you’re going to make it through the day without needing at least one change. She rolled her eyes playfully, but her smile said it all—she knew I was probably right. I told Betsy to find a radio station she liked and settle in—it should’ve been just a one-hour drive to the apartment. But traffic had other plans. Two hours later, we finally pulled up, running behind schedule. It was her first time seeing the building, and her eyes widened as she stepped out of the car. Wow… it’s so tall, she said, clearly impressed. She turned to me with a hopeful smile. I wish we were on the top floor. I chuckled. Yeah… just a wee bit out of my price range. We’re on the seventh floor, right? she asked. Yep, I said. Back side of the building, overlooking the park. Her face lit up again. I bet the views are nice from there too. They are, I said, smiling. You’ll see soon enough. As we sat there signing the lease paperwork, a man walked into the office. The woman helping us turned to him with a smile. Mr. Bates, I’d like to introduce you to the new couple leasing apartment 701. Mr. Bates gave us a curious look, his eyes narrowing slightly. Is your dad’s name Bill? he asked me. I nodded. Yeah, it is. His face lit up with recognition, and before I could react, he pulled me into a big, heartfelt hug. I blinked, trying to place him. You probably don’t remember me, he said, laughing. But I used to live across the street from you. I think you were about four, and Betsy— he turned to her with a smile —you must’ve been three. He went on, his voice full of nostalgia. Our families used to get together almost every Sunday afternoon for BBQs. During the summer, you two and my twin daughters would run around in just diapers, having the time of your lives. Betsy’s eyes widened, a mix of surprise and amusement on her face. Turns out, the man we’d just met—Mr. Bates—wasn’t just a familiar face from the past. He was the owner of the apartment building, stopping by to check on some remodeling work. Curious, he asked what brought us to town. We’re both going to school here, Betsy replied. Mr. Bates nodded, then turned to me with a nostalgic smile. Your dad… he changed my life, he said. I had a failing business—losing thousands every month. Your dad stepped in, helped me turn it around. Now it’s worth millions. He paused, eyes warm. And he never let me pay him back. Always said, ‘When the time comes, pay it forward.’ Well… the time has come. He turned to the leasing agent. Hold off on that lease for a moment. Then back to us. I want to offer you two another apartment. It’s recently remodeled—brand new appliances, freshly painted, bathrooms redone. It’s normally priced at one and a half times what you’re paying, but I’ll give it to you for just $150 more a month. I hesitated. That’s a bit over my budget. He smiled. Just go look at it. Apartment 2101. You’ll see. Betsy and I exchanged a glance, then nodded. Alright, I said. Let’s go. We stepped into the elevator and noticed it went all the way to the 21st floor. Betsy’s eyes widened. Wow… we’re almost at the top. Yeah, I said. The views should be amazing. When we reached the 21st floor, we noticed something different—only eight apartment doors, compared to the eighteen on our original floor. It felt quieter, more private. We found 2101 and paused at the door. This place has to be really special, I said, if we’re going to pay $150 more a month. I looked at Betsy. Ready? She nodded. Yep. We opened the door—and both of us said it at the same time. Wow.

4. My Compromise “I’m not a baby!” I’d seen the words in email more than a dozen times already, and John Naylor had already told me that it was Tess’s favourite thing to say when she was upset about something, but it was the first time I’d heard her say that in person. I’d had half an hour to get to know Tess and her parents, talking as we walked around the neighbourhood, and I still couldn’t get over how cute she was. I’d been sure to remind myself that she had grown up since the last time we met; I didn’t want to be disappointed on seeing her face to face. But she barely looked any older. If I’d seen her in the street, I would have guessed that she was nine or ten at the oldest, and I could understand why kids at school would have picked on her. She was an easy target; someone they could envy, perhaps. She was so small, so cute, that everyone would want to be like her. Practically perfect, with silvery-blonde hair swept back in a tight ponytail and an expression that looked so innocent and dreamy in between moments of intense focus. I’d just left her parents unpacking some of her stuff in the kitchen – she was a picky eater, apparently, and had wanted to bring some of her favourite stuff in case she didn’t share my tastes – and taken her upstairs to show her the new nursery. She yelled. Well, I half expected that. She would realise just how good it felt to sink into her little headspace when she tried it, but right now she was still trying to be as adult as possible for her parents. I did my best to comfort her, explaining that it was only temporary, that she didn’t have to keep it like that if she didn’t want, and that Malcolm would be happy to decorate again. When her parents joined the conversation I explained that I’d already paid Malcolm to redecorate, and that if Tess picked a colour scheme he’d be here just as soon as he finished his current big job. They all seemed satisfied with that, although John pointed out that he’d be willing to pay some of the costs. I assured him that he didn’t need to, that I could cover it. Easy to be generous, when I knew my new baby would have changed her mind long before it was convenient to have a decorator in. She had a lot of stuff with her; almost as much as all the things I’d already bought to get ready for her visit. I helped as much as I could, did everything possible to reassure her parents that she was going to be happy here. Before four o’clock they were gone, and it was just me and Tess in the house. A family, alone at last, and I couldn’t resist a smile when I thought about how much fun we were going to have. * * * We spent the evening watching TV. I’d picked out a movie that Jenny at work said was a classic; a family movie that I should have seen when I was a kid. I figured that I needed to get to know Tess, so she could trust me with her problems. We laughed along with the movie, and by the end we were feeling like family again. In the circumstances, I felt like it would be appropriate to offer Tess a glass of wine. I had a bottle of some low-alcohol stuff that was more like grape juice, and I figured that after all the pressure she’d been under to act her age, she would appreciate it if I treated her like an adult a little more than I had to. That would make it easier for her to trust me. I got up a few times to refill our glasses. We were on the second bottle now, and it was easier to talk; but this was reduced-alcohol wine so it was only like drinking a glass or two. And apparently Tess was feeling more comfortable with me, so she came out and asked if she would have to look after herself. She told me that she could make her own dinner if she needed to, that I didn’t have to look after her, and that she didn’t need a babysitter anymore. It seemed a strange thing to come out with, and I was pretty sure that wasn’t what she really wanted. She just felt obligated to say it. I gave the best answer I could on the spur of the moment. I said that if she acted like an adult, I would have to treat her like an adult, and made some lame joke about splitting the bills or something. It made sense in context, and seemed funny enough. And then I turned that around and said that if she wanted me to treat her as a baby, she just had to act like one. She didn’t argue then, because it was clearly a joke. I think she was starting to warm up to me, and she didn’t need to be so defensive. And I knew that if she remembered the conversation, she would have to dismiss the next time I called her “baby” as a continuation of the same joke. I went to fill the glasses one last time, and hesitated. She’d had a long day, and I knew she must have been exhausted. Not to mention that she had school in the morning, and it would be her first time rushing to catch the bus. I gathered that her old home had been on the edge of Raybridge, so almost within walking distance of her school; but from here it would take ten minutes of brisk walking just to reach the nearest stop for the school bus. I glanced back into the lounge, and saw Tess bouncing in her seat, smiling. Well, that was a good end to her first day, but it had its own problems. I knew Tess had to be tired, but she was also excited and giggly. Not good for a child who needed to sleep. So I reached to the back of the top shelf, and found a little plastic tray loaded with vitamins, painkillers, bandages, and a selection of assorted first aid stuff that I’d never found the time to sort out. I opened two small packs of tablets, and took out one of each. A sleeping pill would certainly be good for her in her current state, to make sure she actually slept before her early start. But I wasn’t sure if a whole one would be too much given how small she was, so I broke the tablet in half. Then it was time to hesitate again. I didn’t know what her parents’ attitude to medication had been; they could have been the kind to insist that you didn’t take anything unless it was absolutely needed. And even if we were friends again, she might not trust me enough to just take a pill when I said it was a good idea. That was a question it would be better to put off until she was a little more sure of where she stood. So I crushed the tablets up with the back of a butter knife, and tipped the white powder into one of the glasses. The strong taste of a sweet dessert wine would mask the flavour, I was sure. And she would be a lot happier with a good night’s sleep before having to learn the new route to school. Twenty minutes later, the movie was over and I knew I’d made the right choice. She was already sleepy, and went straight to bed. The nursery door was ajar, so I looked in on her twice before the morning and found her sleeping soundly. Everything was going perfectly now.

Greetings everyone! This is a teaser for a story I am in the process of writing and will be posting the first chapter in the near future. I am hoping the teaser gets people interested in something perhaps a bit "different" from the bulk of AB/DL themed stories posted here. I have always been a fan of horror, and wanted to explore that genre in a way that many have not. It’s no surprise I have an AB/DL side, and have been obsessed recently with a new genre of horror the internet has really helped kick off, liminal horror. I wanted to explore the idea of places being characters, and having feelings and motives like people do. The place in particular for this story is an old abandoned play place, and though this story will blend things such as mental regression, diapers, lost nostalgia, and even have a few characters who identify as AB/DL; this is mainly a horror first and AB/DL story second. If that doesn’t sound like it interests you I understand completely, as this is a very different approach to writing an AB/DL story. However, if this seems like it would interest you or your intrigued by the teaser below, then I hope you’ll follow along when the chapters are posted in the near future! I am more than excited for those interested to get a little view into what’s to come! (Also, I understand this isn’t a full story…yet. However, I figured this would be a good place to post the “technical start” to it, being a part of the story forums) Clocks Without Hands Teaser.mp4

Hi there, folks! I know it's been a while since I last uploaded anything... and I have no excuse. The will to write had slowed down in me as of late. Could be stress from work and life, though I really wanna blame the HEEEEAAAAT! Even so, I am back with an idea that sparked a two parter story! I hope you all enjoy it! The Prototype (Part 1 of 2) by Panther Cub "And there, all fixed!" Luci said, proudly looking at her handiwork. Sitting before the red panda on the red plastic table was a white plush bunny with button eyes, now also sporting some stitches going across its stomach. Putting away the emergency sewing kit in the childproof container, she turned and handed the plush back to a little badger girl in a bright yellow sundress. "There you go, Sarah! Miss Bun-Bun is all better and ready to go on some more adventures." "YAY! Thanks Miss Luci!" The little badger gave her a hug before scampering off to play with the other children. Luci sighed as she got up and walked the box of sewing supplies back to the employee storage room. As she did, she passed by the nursery area, spying an older she-wolf with crimson colored fur. She was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a sky blue button up blouse. Next to her was a changing table, over which stood a tall machine. Four legs, ending in three maneuverable toes on each foot, extended over the table, meeting a basketball-sized spherical center. Half of the sphere was solid metal like the legs, while the other half, which was facing downwards at the table, was a black screen lit up with a red circular glowing eye. Four small mechanical hands were extended from the metal ports of the sphere itself, reaching down to finish up the changing of a little giggling skunk boy's diaper. "Diaper change complete. Care target: Sebastian. Status: Ready for playtime," a mechanical voice spoke out from the speakers embedded in the spherical eye. The mechanical hands, which briefly took a moment to sanitize themselves and dry off, scooped Sebastian up in a gentle cradle, and the legs began to walk the little one over to a playpen. The arms extended down to gently deposit the baby amongst the toys. "That new auto-changer working out fine, Mom?" Luci asked, opening the bright green storage room door that read Employees Only in black letters and setting the container on a shelf. She was quick to close and check that it was locked, lest some of the more rambunctious children try to sneak inside. "Sweetie, I've told you, the Nannybot does much more than just changing diapers... or, well, it will once I'm finished working out the kinks," Miranda said with a sigh. "There seems to be a bit of a glitch that I'm having a heck of a time sussing out. A shame since it's otherwise working so well today. But it seems like I'm going to have to install an update after we get home." "That won't interfere with your and Dad's trip, right?" "Of course not. The update will take some time, but after it finishes, everything will shut down automatically in my workshop. You'll still get to have the house to yourself for a week, hun." Miranda smiled at her daughter. "I take it someone's thrilled to see us go." "Whaaaat?" The young red panda feigned mock shock. "Such a spurious accusation, and from my own mother no less!" Luci dramatically draped her arm over her eyes. "I'm simply anticipating the day that your curious contraption is fully up and running. With it working, I won't have to have anything to do with dirty diapers." Mother and daughter shared a chuckle just as a thought sparked in Miranda's mind. "Oh! Honey, I forgot to ask this morning. Did you have a dry night?" Luci's ears splayed flat on her head and her tail tucked itself in between her legs, all while she quickly looked around to make sure none of the children or other daycare workers heard. "Moooom!" Luci whined as quietly as she could. "Can we please not talk about my nighttime problem around others?" "Oops! Sorry, sweetie. I just needed to know if we had to stop and pick up another pack of Sleeptights on our way home." Luci sighed as she blushed. "As of this morning... I am out of my... protection." Miranda got up and walked over to her daughter, pulling the embarrassed girl into a hug. "I'm sorry, hun. I had the same problem when I was your age. Heck, I was still bedwetting intermittently in my early twenties!" Luci blushed some more but returned the hug. "We should probably start getting ready for the parents to come and pick up their little ones. Thank you again so much for helping out after school this week, sweetie." "Always happy to help, even if it means I end up on diaper duty," Luci said as she began to head over to the indoor jungle gym to start getting the children ready for the pickup. Looking out across the street was the main headquarters of Snuggies Inc. Connected to the tall and rather utilitarian gray, fifty story building was the largest factory of the company, with large automated sections tirelessly busy manufacturing their many products. Sure it was a little out of the ordinary for the company's run daycare to be a separate building entirely, yet some executive correctly figured that not only could the wide and colorful red, blue, green, and yellow splotch-covered building be used to provide their employees free childcare, but even offer its services to the general public for a rather cheap price, with offers for modeling gigs and product testing being made in exchange for generous discounts. As usual for the end of the work day, and a Friday at that, she could see cars pulling up. The checkout process was rather smooth, the receptionist, Becky, a lovely honey badger woman was well-versed at this point in the vast majority of the usual clientele. Luci assisted her mother in clearing out the back of the family van, a solid bright yellow, to make room for her robo nanny. It received some curious side-glances as it spider-walked its way to the open side door, legs retracting enough to allow it to climb inside and fold up nice and compact. The security system of the daycare did a final sweep for any signs of life as the daycare workers finished up putting the last of the toys and supplies away, ensuring everything was locked up tight. The red panda girl had heard that during Spring Break, the whole daycare was going to be closed for upkeep, some new paint, and upgrades to its systems. "Ready to head home, hun?" Miranda asked, making Luci jump a little. "Yup! Two weeks of no school and one week of getting to be home alone, here I come!" She grinned as she climbed into the passenger seat, being careful to keep her large, and fluffy, red and white striped tail from getting caught in the door. "Now you know where all the emergency numbers are listed on the fridge, right?" Miranda asked as she started up the engine. They patiently waited for the last of the parents and employees to leave before exiting the parking lot. "Yes, and I have them in my phone too," Luci said, holding up her phone displaying the group of numbers labeled Emergency. "Good! Now we have plenty of food at home, and we trust you not to burn the house down, but we've also left you a little money for some take-out if you decide that's what you want some nights." "Boo-Yah! Thanks Mom!" Luci may not be a wolf like her mother, but her tail still started to thump against her lap. They talked about school and an upcoming softball game Luci and her school's team were going to be having at the end of the month, with Miranda assuring her daughter that she and her husband would both be there. She pulled to a stop in the parking lot of a supermarket, and Luci blushed. It always amazed Luci of just how big the diaper section of the baby aisle was. Granted, she hated how familiar with said aisle she'd become thanks to her nighttime problem. To add insult unto injury was the unfortunate fact that the Sleeptights, and their contemporaries from competing brands, were sitting at the very top shelf, right where Luci could barely see them. As she stood on her tiptoes and stretched her arms as far as she could, he paws barely brushed against one of the obnoxiously pink and white packages. Just below them were the training pants, thus leaving her, thanks to her species' naturally short stature, at eye level with the packs of actual baby diapers. The red panda girl was starting to regret insisting she could just run in and grab them and run back out and that her Mom could stay behind with the prototype. She brushed against the pack again, causing it and several others to fall backwards. Luci growled under her breath as she jumped up a bit, satisfied when she could feel her dull claws hook into the plastic packaging enough for her to yank it down into her arms. "Luci?" She froze at hearing a voice that clearly didn't belong to her mother, identifying her by name. She spun while whipping the pack of absorbent padding behind her back, trying her best to look casual. "Yeah?" Standing there was an otter girl wearing her school's uniform, A white t-shirt with their school's mascot, the Tundra Scorpions, over the heart and a bright blue skirt ending right at the knees. "O-oh! Hey, Rachel! How was practice?" Rachel smiled, her tail practically wagging. "Exhausting, but fun! I can't wait for my next match!" Luci noticed that Rachel had her usual gym bag hanging by a strap around her shoulder, no doubt housing her personalized tennis racket. "But why are you here on the baby aisle?" "Uh... just... checking up on the competition for my folks' job!" Luci gulped, hoping that Rachel wouldn't see she was holding a pack of SleepTights just out of sight behind her. She kicked herself for lying to her friend, but it had been an act of pure instinct. "Makes sense! Especially with those new aggressive ads I've been seeing around!" Rachel then easily reached up, unintentionally reminding Luci of her own diminutive stature, and grabbed a pack of blue and white SleepTights. "My little cousin is gunna be staying with us for the week! OH! That reminds me, it's confirmed that you'll have a whole week of the house just to yourself?" Luci smiled, feeling some of her initial excitement from earlier return. "Yup! It's a done deal!" "So... are we still on for the party?" Luci rolled her eyes. "You, me, and Kara aren't exactly a party." Rachel wagged a finger. "It's not about quantity, it's always about quality." Rachel tried to maintain a serious and sageful expression, but the two couldn't stop as a wave of the giggles washed over them. "Anyways, Rachel, my Mom's in the car with her latest invention..." "The robot nanny thing she's been talking about lately?" "Yup! So I kinda gotta hurry." "Understoodles! Tell her I said hi!" "Will do!" Luci watched as Rachel turned down a different aisle before rushing over to the self checkout. Not wanting to draw any additional attention to herself, she hurried as she scanned the pack, not even really looking at it and the display of the offending garments within modeled on the front. It was then rapidly shoved into the light tan plastic bag before she paid. In a flash, she was back at the van, sliding open the side door to toss her package inside next to the giant metal spider. "Ran into Rachel inside, she says hi," Luci said as she got back in and buckled up. "That reminds me! While it's okay to have your friends over, no parties. Understood?" Miranda said it in mock sternness, and Luci just snorted. "Me, Rachel, and Kara will hang out, sure, but other than that? We'll just enjoy the pool." As they spoke, the family van drove outside of the city proper, past the last few houses dotting the hilly grasslands, the road winding around curves. "We figured. But still, we just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page. And you know that you can call or text us at any time during the conference, right?" "Right." Rounding another bend, the road straightened out, just as a two-story house resting atop a hill came into view. It was an eggshell white converted farmhouse, with solar panels running along the roof. The house and the lovingly restored old barn were connected now, with the latter being the workshop and laboratory for Luci's parents. As they pulled up, her mother pressed a red button on her key fob, and the barn doors silently slid open. The van was driven inside, with Miranda killing the engine just as the doors closed and the overhead lights came on. All around were computer screens, mostly dark, a new specialty 3-D printer that her parents had tinkered with and now referred to as a Fabricator; mechanical arms and pieces, markerboards with ideas and formulae written on them, and so many sets of tools and cables all about. "Okay, sweetheart, you head inside while I get started on setting the Nannybot up for the usual diagnostic scans and start the update," Miranda said as she got out, walking over to the side door to open it and allow the robot to crawl back out. Luci headed for the open door to the rest of the house just as Miranda was opening a panel on the back of the sphere and inserting some cables. Luci walked through the doorway and into the kitchen, the plastic bag from the store giving a faint crinkle. She spied her father, a large gray wolf in jean shorts and a colorful yellow Howliian shirt, setting some suitcases by the front door. "Hi there, Pumpkin," Mark said, his tail wagging as he looked over at Luci entering.He walked over and leaned down to give his little girl a hug. Luci blushed a little but returned the embrace, trying not to think about how due to the species size difference, she was toddler height standing next to either of her parents. "Hey, Dad! You finishing up getting ready to head out?" "Yup! This week is going to be fun on the bun!" "I thought that this was a work conference." Mark shrugged. "It is, but for all the crazy cool new tech being worked on in the industry. All at a luxury beachside resort! So, be it during the conference gawking at fun new robotics and showing off some of our own projects or just spending time with your mother soaking up some rays, it'll be a good time." "I'd bet the Nannybot would kill this year," Luci mused. "Meh, your mother and I both can't sign off on a fancy new prototype to show off until it's ready by our own standards. Too many times some company or inventor comes out with a doohickey that they claim will revolutionize something... only for years and years to go by for nothing to come of it. That's why only when it's ready to go will we actually start to properly show it off. Still the trial runs over at the daycare have been a goldmine for raw data on its functionality! Miranda has really outdone herself this time! Why, I even think that..." Luci smiled and politely nodded as her Dad started to excitedly go into detail about the Nannybot and its AI. She tried to follow along, and was able to understand the broad strokes, like how it will observe children that it has been assigned to, in order to learn about their needs and how to care for them. It was even programmed to do so without being noticed by the designated child, so as not to cause a disruption that could potentially alter the child's behavior and in turn alter the data. Unfortunately, the technical jargon got to be too much for Luci, and so she zoned out halfway through. "... still some fine-tuning to go, but overall it's just amazing what it can do already!" "I'm sure that the company will be thrilled when the prototype is all ready to go." "Count on it, Pumpkin!" Mark reached over to ruffle Luci's headfur. "Try not to go too wild without us here, kiddo." "Aww, but I wanted to throw a wild and crazy party that ended up with the house trashed and me arrested on the news!" Luci smirked as her father chuckled. "That's my girl!" Mark then resumed double checking his list and confirming that everything on it was packed and ready to go at the front door. Luci scurried upstairs and set the grocery bag of shame down just inside the door to her bedroom, coming right back down to find both of her parents readying to go. Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs, the red panda girl could hear the sound of thunder rumbling in the distance. A wind had begun to pick up, the scent of rain on the air. "Looks like we need to get going sooner rather than later," Mark commented, checking his phone for weather updates. "A big storm should be rolling through the area." Miranda pulled Luci into a tight hug, planting a gentle kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Now you be safe while we're gone,okay sweetie?" "I will, Mom, I promise." Luci blushed a little at being fawned over so, a small part of her reluctantly enjoying it. "We'll be sure to let you know when we make it to the airport and keep you updated for when we land, Princess." Mark smiled, reaching over to hug his little girl once more. With one final goodbye, Luci's parents were out the door and in the van. She watched as the taillights disappeared around a bend in the growing gloom, the dark and angry black clouds growing closer, more deep and ominous rumbling accompanying them. Luci shut and locked the door, checking the custom security system to ensure all the doors and windows were locked and secure across the property. Initially, as Luci flopped down on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, she felt excitement at finally being home alone. She decided to enjoy a nice scary movie thanks to the dark and stormy night that was rapidly descending. Yelp, a 90s classic. As the movie went on, Luci began to feel a sense of foreboding, painfully aware of just how alone she was now. There was a crack of thunder like a gunshot that made her jump, followed immediately by heavy rain slamming down on the roof and hammering on the windows. Luci instinctively curled her fluffy striped tail around herself to hug it. There was another crack... and suddenly the red panda girl found herself surrounded by darkness. She blinked as the lights flickered back on. "The generators must've kicked in," Luci said in a low, soft voice. She texted Kara and Rachel, confirming with them that there was apparently a major outage due to the storm. She was just about to text her parents when a message came through from her Dad. Hiya, Pumpkin! Just checking in to let you know we got here to the airport just fine and are taking off. There was some concern that the storm might cause a delay, but thankfully it seems to have shifted course enough to not be a problem for takeoff! Of course it seems like it's hitting you all the harder for it. Luci smiled and texted back. Glad you guys made it there okay. Yeah, it's hitting here hard. There's a power outage in the area, but the generators came on. Probably gunna head to bed soon. Her phone buzzed a minute after she sent her reply. She saw another text from her Dad pop up. Glad I double checked the Jennies to make sure that they'd be up and running. Have a good night, sweetie. I'll shoot ya a text when we land! Unbeknownst to Luci, back in the workshop, the Nannybot had still been in the process of downloading and installing its latest update when the power had gone out. While yes, the generators had kicked back on only a few seconds later, the Nannybot's red eye began to flicker to life in a haze or all red static. The body of the machine rose up from where it had been standing, yanking the cables out of its port with its hands that were flailing about wildly. The red eye went dark as it collapsed, letting out a quiet buzz. "System Rebooting. Status: ... Error!" The whole frame of the robot shuddered, then went still. Quietly, it folded in on itself, a single red dot in the eye glowing ominously in the darkened workshop. Luci picked back up where she had left off with her movie and continued to text her friends, which in turn helped her to feel a little less creeped out. At the end credits she shut off the tv and DVD player. Letting out a yawn, she got up and elected to turn in for the night, hoping to wake up with the storm having passed. She of course put her empty popcorn bowl in the sink, and double checked that the power outage hadn't affected the alarms and locks on all the doors and windows. Satisfied, she headed upstairs, letting out a sigh as her eyes landed upon the grocery bag. Stripping down, she went over to her closet and grabbed her favorite long t-shirt that she liked to sleep in. She slipped it on, the lime green fabric bringing her some comfort. With an internal groan, she knew she couldn't put it off any longer and walked back over to the bag, pulling out her pack of Sleeptights. Looking at it, she stopped, her eyes going wide. "No..." Luci's blood ran cold as she looked over the package in her paws. She read it over and over again, but the picture of the sleeping baby polar bear in just a red t-shirt and diaper helped to emphasize the words printed just above in big happy pink letters next to a crescent moon. Snuggies Overnights. Diaper Count: 68. Turning the package over, she saw a diagram of one of the diapers inside. The diaper had the classic sleepy moon print with some sleeping bunnies resting on clouds. Her face broke out in a deep blush as she read that it had a curved fit to contain 100% of leaks, its new Bone Dry liner, its extra absorbency to last for up to 12 hours, and its new triple "Sure Grip" strips, to ensure that it stays put until the next diaper change. "How?" She asked aloud... and then realized what must've happened. For some reason, these must've been placed at the top shelf with the Sleeptights, and in her excitement and hurry and need to keep them hidden, she hadn't noticed. It certainly didn't help that the packaging was the same color as her usual Sleeptights. Looking back at the clock, Luci sighed and looked down at the pack. She could try and roll the dice... but due to the last two weeks, she knew that waking up in a soaked mattress was all but a guarantee. She considered just doing a load of laundry when she got up... but the whole idea felt gross. Not having any other options, Luci reluctantly tore open the pack and pulled out one of the folded white rectangles. She looked down at the lightly crinkling object in her hands and unfolded it. She bunched up her long shirt and tried to put the diaper on herself. First she tried just standing up to do it, but that didn't work. Leaning up against a wall wasn't much better, and even laying on her bed, now with both hands free instead of using one to keep the hem of her shirt up, to try and do it was also still a failure. With a grunt of frustration, Luci reflected on how easy it was with the Sleeptights. Just pull on and thread her tail through the hole and done. "I can change a bunch of anklebiters at the daycare but apparently I can't put a... diaper on myself!" She huffed, until thinking more about the daycare sparked an idea. The Nannybot! She grabbed the opened diaper and headed back downstairs, phone in hand with the flashlight lighting her way. The red panda girl went into the workshop, the emergency lights flickering on and giving the darkened area a kinda eerie vibe. Approaching the folded up spidery-form of the Nannybot didn't help to make it any less foreboding, nor did the sounds of the now distant rumbling thunder and the rain hitting the roof. She spotted a metal table that had been designated as a "changing area" to train the bot's AI. Remembering her Dad explaining how it learned to respond to the dummies laid onto the surface, she reached over to the sphere and pressed the Power button, with its red electronic eye glowing immediately afterwards. Luci felt nervous about doing this, but just wanted to hurry up and get some sleep. She refolded the diaper and set it on the table, before climbing up and laying beside it. "Charge detected!" The electronic voice said as the machine stood up on its four legs. It walked over to the table, making soft ka-thunk sounds as it did. Its electronic eye started to scan Luci and the diaper just as the four arms extended out of the sphere. The hands picked up, fluffed out, and unfolded what was to be Luci's new sleepwear for the night. Another hand gently grasped her ankles and lifted her legs up, allowing the diaper to be slid underneath her. Before setting her back down, the fourth hand snaked forth, a small opening in the center of it. Luci watched, confused for a moment, until it began to puff out a white powder onto her bottom. The sweet smell of baby powder tickled Luci's nose, and she blushed as her legs were lowered and the front of her diaper pulled up. The Nannybot was precise in its measurements and, as it pulled the tabs open and secured them to the wings of the diaper, it was a perfect fit. She was gently rolled over so that the tab on the back could be opened and snugly secured around the base of her tail. After a final examination, she was picked up under her arms and set down next to the table. "Diapering complete!" Still blushing, Luci reached up and wordlessly pushed the power button again, feeling a sense of relief as it hurried back over to its docking station and folded itself back up. The red eye went dark, and Luci could now head back to bed. Heading back out of the workshop, she was too focused on how much thicker this diaper was from her usual Sleeptights, causing her to walk with a slight waddle; to notice the red eye coming back on and flickering a bit as it focused on her. Walking past a full-length mirror on her way to the stairs, Luci frowned as she shined the flashlight of her phone at herself, showing that the lower part of her new underwear was visible below the shirt. Grumbling to herself, she waddled back up the stairs and headed right to bed, curling up and thinking about how hard it was going to be to try and sleep with such a thick pillow between her legs. But she was soon out like a light, unaware she was being watched and observed. A single glowing red dot watching her from her darkened hallway. Heya folks! Lemme know what you think, and have a fantastic day!

I'm so excited. Me and mummy are going to stay with our ABDL friends for a few days. I get to play with another baby and mummy can have adult company when we are put to bed. They have a guest room with a crib for me. I'll share some pics soon.

Is it just me or is there a growing trend in this community to actually make ourselves incontinent and dependent on diapers? The urge to do it to myself is almost irresistible. For a long time I thought I could fight it if I only knew where this desire came from. But now I have so many reasons why I want to be incontinent that any form of resistance would be futile in advance and would actually cause more damage than it would prevent. What are your reasons to actually become incontinent? For me it is options 1. 2. 4. 5 and 6. Option 7 is what is holding me back for now.. How about you?

Curiosity Killed the Cat Guided forward by the faint glow of light beneath the door, the sound of typing reached your ears. The door was already partly opened so you peered through the crack to find your husband behind desk with lines of exhaustion etched into his skin. He was a very important man that a lot of people depended on. While you knew he worked hard, this was not the first night you awoke alone to an empty bed. Knocking gently so as not to startle him, you entered without prompt. His startled face smoothed over into something akin to surprise. “Baby? What are you doing here?” Automatically, your shoulders hunched forward. You realized that you hadn’t really thought this through. His office was a no-go area. It’s why your appearance was a mystery to you both. “Did you have a bad dream?” His voice softened as he shut his laptop. “N-no - ” “You know it’s past your bed time.” “I’m sorr-” “Come here.” He ordered in a way you could not refuse and padded across the room with your chin tucked into your chest. You could feel his body heat from where you stood between his legs, nose flared at the scent of sandalwood. “Lift.” He commanded with the click of his tongue. Unable to stop the fiery burn of humiliation, you could only frown as you bunched your silk nightgown above your waist. His hand slipped between your thighs. Inspecting the thick diaper that consumed your lower half, you were used to this by now. Diaper checks were an everyday reality. The best reaction was no reaction as his fingers swiped over your sex and elastic band snapped back against your skin after checking your bottom. While every movement brought another crinkle, it was white noise to your ears at this point. “Dry.” He murmured to himself, seemingly lost in thought. As he stroked his chin, his head tilted up. “What seems to be the matter then, my love?” He pulled you to his lap where you straddled his leg. His arms wrapped around your waist. Too often you were rendered helpless at his touch, melting like putty, you hated how he made you feel. “Did someone miss me?” “N-n-I,” you pathetically stammered and could feel the vibrations in his broad chest as he began to laugh. “So shy,” he cooed, thumbing the hardness of your nipples through the thin fabric. In response, a bubbling heat simmered just beneath your skin, so hot, it burned. “I thought we talked about this before. It’s not nice to keep secrets from your husband.” He playfully warned but the underlying threat was all too real. “It’s nothing,” you breathed as he continued to pinch and twist and - A moan pierced through the room, too delicate not to have been from you. “My naughty little wife.” He smirked. “Only good girls get rewards.” “Puh-puh-please…” To your shame, your hips ground into his leg. Anxious to sooth the itch of your chastised pussy, it ignited a deeper shame, especially knowing that this was not the first time. Against your will, your back arched and you all but pressed your breasts into his mocking touch. Desperate for more, so painfully eager - “Hey!” The words were out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. He pulled away. That was the farthest he had let you go in a long time. Even now, he didn’t stop the rhythmic rocking of your lower half. “I couldn’t sleep!” You whined and pressed your head into his shoulder. “I ju - I just…” “Can I tell you what I think?” He hushed, rubbing the small of your back. “I think someone had too big thoughts for their little head and didn’t know what to do with them all.” So utterly condescending, that was just the way of the Patriarchy. Diapered and babied at the prime age of thirty-two, you were nothing more than a trophy wife to be shown off and mocked. But that was the case for all the women. They were just diapered pawns in a man’s world. “Honey, you know what they say… curious minds make for troublesome women.” Sitting up, he cupped your cheeks and thumbed away the tears with a touch so gentle it left you reeling. “What’s the other one…” he cracked a smile, so completely condescending. “Diapered wife, happy life? You know what the doctor said. A full diaper and empty mind is the best cure there is.” “I’m sorry,” you whispered but knew it was not enough. You had disappointed your husband which in turn meant you had gone against the Patriarchy. “Don’t cry,” he soothed, bouncing your crinkling bottom. “My little wife has a sickness and as your husband, it is my job to nurse you back to health.” “Sir, please-” you pleaded with a hitch in your throat but it was to no avail. You knew what was going to happen. It was the same thing every time. Pecking a kiss on the tip of your nose, he beamed, “a daily enema and healthy dose of Soggy Froggy should clear this up in no time!” “But - “ you tried one last time but a pinch to the inside of your thigh ended all protest. ”Nuh-uh,” he reprimanded. “You know what to do. Don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.” That you did. “Yes, sir.” Sighing heavily, there was no way out of this. That is why with great reluctance, you laid yourself over his lap. Backside up, your eyes closed at the sound of the ripping tapes and the cool air hit your skin.

Chapter 3 A deal made in the dark "Girls. Everything is ok, but we wont have power here at the house for a long while so lets get a move on." Sara calls out coming back up the stairs. She hears giggling as she approaches the girl's bedroom for the second time this morning. "Well thats gotta be a good sign right?" A sarcastic sigh follows the words out of her mouth as she opens the door to see the curtains letting in sunlight and a sight that made her laugh out loud. "Girls whats going on here?!" Sara laughs. "I wanted to help you mommy, and since I'm already and you wanted sissy to stay still til you changed her. I'm changing sissy to help!" Addy says proudly laughing a little in the process. Addy was taping on a diaper to Natalie's waist, the soaked pullup with a pile of wipes sat near by along with an old bottle of baby powder. Which was covering some of Natalie's thighs and tummy as well as the floor. "Well thank you Addy thats a big girl of you to *giggles* help your big sissy out after her accident. Here honey let me get those tapes though." Sara smirks kneeling down in front of her oldest daughter, taking over the role of taping the diaper on Natalie. Natalie laid there blushing with embarrassment after not only being tricked by her baby... well little sister, but being diapered by her and now mommy too. "Addy why did you diaper your sister though? A pullup or a clean pair of undies would have worked." Sara asks as she pats Natalie's diaper.before helping her sit up. "Well she had such a bad accident and we dont want to be longer today then we want too. So sissy asked me to help her change. I couldn't reach anymore of her pullups but she said it was ok and I could give her one of those diapers that grandma gave us for that big boat trip we took!" Addy proudly states like it was the most logical, obvious thing for her to do. Sara then turned to Natalie whose still sitting in front of them both clad only in a purple youth diaper and purple tee shirt. "And what do you say about all this? Is Addy telling the truth? I thought you hated those diapers baby." Sara says almost expecting a sarcastic response or for them both to laugh like it was some sort of joke. Natalie still blushing nods. "Yeah mommy I asked for her help. It was so dark in here still and you said not to move so sissy helped me out. And shes right I needed a new pullup after that and these were all she could reach for me. Is that ok?" Natalie says trying not to expose Addy for extorting her because she was being a scared baby, but tries to get mommy to say this is silly and take her out of it. Hopefully saving her from the humiliation of wearing a diaper this morning and at least being able to wear a pullup where she was able to pull them down when she needed to and hide them better than this crinkling purple baby monstrosity she was taped into. Sara lets out a big laugh and picks Natalie up. "Ok lets fix this."

I remember this story - it was good, and I didn't know there were notes. Would you mind sharing them? Via DM is fine to avoid spoilers.

I love sissygasms. Has taken many years to achieve one and be able to get one regally, but all the work was worth it. I haven't masturbated as a male for over a year. I can achieve one both anally with a vibrator or dildo, or with my doxy. Apart from when my wife want's sex I am caged 24/7.

Yes, we hope to launch a new print about every 3 months for a while and then will see how well they sell. We have both AB and DL prints under development. There's much more to PackPals. It's a comic book printed on a diaper. Lots of details.

Please do 🙏

Chapter 7: Bet Tales of the Sanctuary: Book 2 - Anger – LittleFallenPrincess “Those… are definitely wings…” Jen said, as she stared at the enormous shining white wings protruding from my back. It felt so weird to have them out. But if I’m actually going to try flying… I kinda need them to be, otherwise I’m going to get real friendly with the pavement below. To say I was nervous was the understatement of the year. Maybe even the understatement of my life… right below the time when I asked Lucifer if everything was going to be okay if we rebelled and she replied with “Yeah, of course. Dad isn’t that petty. How bad could it be?” But I know that it’ll be fun. I have memories of flying and they’re always happy memories. But… It's like not riding a bike after decades of not cycling… you have memories of it but you still need to learn it again. Not that I’d know… I never learned how to ride a bike. I mean… What demon would need to? We learn to drive because humans love cars and it helps us get around. We don’t learn how to ride bikes. I mean isn’t it usually human Dad’s who teach their kids? Mine wasn’t the best tutor in general… “You’re in your head again. Get flying before I kick you off the edge of the roof myself and force you to learn… very quickly.” “Fine!” I whined back at her. Staring at the edge, I knew I had to do it. I’d be fine. It’s like muscle memory… right? Just that I haven’t flown in millenia… and I haven’t even had wings in that long either… and… and… FUCK IT! I ran full speed towards the edge of the roof. I flapped my wings a bit. I could feel the wind blowing through my hair and on my face. But I couldn’t open my eyes. “You’re going to have to open them eventually… don’t want you steering into a building or anything…” a loud, roaring voice called out from below me. Huh? I opened my eyes to see a huge black-scaled dragon, the size of a bus, flying below me. She was gorgeous. “WHEN? HOW?” “I jumped off just after you, think of me as a sort of safety net. If you panic and fall, I’ll catch you.” “I… thanks…” Honestly, that was actually extremely reassuring and instantly eased my anxiety about flying. But here I was. Flying. Without help. Looking around, now that I was feeling brave enough to keep my eyes open, I got the best view of the city I had ever witnessed, beating even the rooftop of the Sanctuary. This is beautiful. I’ll definitely have to take my friends for a fly around the city or something… …That is when I tell any of them. Because right now this is still some dirty little secret. Which is weird, considering… you know… they’re angel wings! They’re supposed to be divine, clean, pure… and to me they just feel shameful. Like a sign of bad things in my future. I’ve only told Jen and Lucy. And two of my sisters. That’s it. No one else knows. No one else can know. Not until I’ve figured out more about it, exactly what’s causing it, if it’s a good thing or a bad thing… and most importantly… if it’s going to replace my demonic features entirely. “You’re in your head again. Nia… focus,” Jen warned, with a much deeper, much more growly voice than she had just moments ago on the rooftop in her human form. Honestly though? Her dragon voice was just as hot as her human one. And damn did this girl look fucking badass as a dragon. “Right, sorry. Focusing.” Recalling the memories of me flying, at least the ones that I had regained since this all started, I felt my body adjusting to the gusts of wind and the weight of my body better. As if I was just recalling muscle memory from the days where I’d fly all the time. “Having fun?” Jen asked. “Yeah. I think I’m getting the hang of it again.” “Already? That was quick.” “That’s what she sai- I mean… I just needed to get back my muscle memory. Which apparently was locked away in my mind. Look… what… I… can… do!” And as I said that, I did a barrel roll, before plummeting downwards, speeding right past Jen’s large, scaly neck, diving headfirst to the ground below. “NIA!” she cried out. I could tell she was about to dive after me, so I cut short the showing off, pulling up and doing a loop, before thrusting forwards, back up to Jen’s altitude, where we hovered in place, miles up above the city. “Sorry.” “Don’t scare me like that! At least I can tell you’ve got a handle on things now. You no longer need me to be your safety net.” “Like I said, muscle memory.” I grinned over at her as we hovered on the spot. “Don’t get cocky, kid.” “Kid? I was flying before you were even born. I just… haven’t done it in a long time.” I don’t know where the newfound confidence was coming from. But hey… it seemed to make Jen grin. At least I assume that’s what a dragon grinning looks like. “How about we race then?” she suggested. “What are the stakes?” I asked. “If you win… I’ll wear a nappy.” “And if you win?” “You talk to Michael about what’s going on with you.” “Oh you’re evil…” “Says the demon…” “Fine. I accept the terms. Where are we racing?” “Race to the ocean to the south, then back to the Sanctuary. First one to grab a fistful of sand from the beach, then land on the Sanctuary roof again wins.” “Agreed. So… you calling it?” “Yup. Ready?” she asked, so I nodded back, grinning at her. “Three… Two… One…” I was on my way back to the Sanctuary, fistful of sand in my hand… and I was miles ahead. Jen was fast, but our wings appeared to have the same strength, so with me weighing a lot less… I was able to fly much quicker. I definitely caught a large lead when she had to turn after grabbing her sand, as her turning circle was much larger than mine. She had to bank and turn, whereas I did like professional swimmers do and just turned on the spot, shooting back in the direction I came. So I was pretty confident I was going to win. And I was never ever going to let Jen live it down once I’ve seen her in a nappy. She knew I’d agree to those terms because… well… It's me! Oh this was going to be sweet… ♪ I'm done hidin', now I'm shinin' ♪ FUCK! NOT NOW! I scrambled for my phone, hastily searching my pocket so I could answer it, all whilst flying… and I nearly plummeted thirty feet doing so. “Hello?” “Nia?” “Hey Mummy…. Hi… uh… what's up?” “Nia where are you? It sounds awfully windy!” Vic replied, sounding concerned. Fuck. Lie your arse off, Nia! She can’t know. “Just driving with my sister.” “Lucifer? Or one of your other ones?” “Yeah, Luci. Just going for a drive, getting to know each other.” “I was told you were at the Sanctuary…” “I was… she picked me up there.” “Well I need you back home. As soon as possible.” “Why? What’s up? You sound stressed. Did something happen?” I asked. “Wedding planning. I need your input. And maybe your succubus abilities to convince them to convince the venue to turn off the CCTV.” “Why do you need that?” “Because they’re human… and a lot of our guest list… well… aren’t?” “Oh shit… yes…” “Language, baby…” “Sorry!” “Can you tell Luci to pull over? I can barely hear you.” I angled my wings and came to a complete stop so I could have a proper conversation with my fiance. “Is that better?” “Much, thank you. Now… where were we?” “Venue. Seduction. You sure you want me to use my abilities like that?” “Well the witchy sisters are both busy, it seems, and I don’t know if their magic could work long term. But I know your succubus abilities do. So can you just… flirt a little with him?” “I love our weird relationship. Any other fiance would be warning me not to flirt with anyone, but here you are encouraging me to do exactly that so we can secure the perfect venue for our wedding.” “Because I trust you, babygirl.” Ouch. That hurts. Sure, I would never cheat on her, but when I’m flying in place above a small little town using the wings I still haven’t told her about… I feel like I’m betraying her. I just have to keep telling myself it’s for her own sake. Because she will overreact. She’ll go into panic mode and assume the worst. Once I’ve figured out what’s happening, and if I can stop it… I’ll tell her. “Fine. I’ll be home in like…” At that moment, a large figure zoomed past me. “FUCK.” “What is it, baby?” asked Vic, sounding concerned. “...Nothing. I’ll be home in about twenty minutes. See you then,” I sighed, knowing there was no chance I was going to finish this call then catch up with Jen in time. Not this close to Sanctuary. I had lost. Fuck. “Will Luci drop you off? It’d be lovely to see her again. You should invite her in.” “She’s busy today, she’ll just drop me off by the gate and then she’s gotta go,” I lied. “Oh okay, maybe another time then. Okay baby, I’ll see you in twenty minutes. I love you!” “I love you too, Mama. See you soon.” I hung up the phone, slipped it back into my pocket, then sighed heavily. I guess I’m going to have to talk to Michael. At least… I never specified when I would. That’s the problem with making deals with demons, I guess… As I landed on the rooftop of the Sanctuary, I could see Jen, in her human form, dancing a little happy dance because she won, throwing her fistful of sand up in the air in celebration. “I guess you win…” I sighed. “What made you stop?” she asked. “Vic called.” “Ooof. Look, normally, I would happily accept I would’ve lost and just hand you the win because of your misfortune… but I am not wearing a nappy. And you really do need to talk to your brother. So… speaking of… when are you going to talk to him?” “You never said when I have to. We never specified a time. And I already went a millenia without talking to him… I can manage another.” “FUCKING DEMONS. This is why I avoid deals with you. You’re worse than the fae.” “Nuh uh! Fae are way worse.” “Not in my experience,” Jen shrugged. “You have experience with them? I guess dragons would have some links…” “They were exceptionally nice to me. You, you little brat, haven’t. You better talk to your brother the next time you see him at least.” “I’ll just avoid talking to him then,” I replied, grinning at her. “Look, you’re buying me a winner's drink then I’m getting back to work. And I’m going to make it expensive. You can afford it, especially considering your ‘Mummy’ is loaded.” “I will buy you a drink, but not right now. Sadly, that ‘Mummy’ needs me to go seduce the venue guy to make sure our existence isn’t made public to humans.” Jen just looked at me, bewildered. “...You better. God… your whole group is weird.” After promising to Jen that I would talk to Michael the next time I see him, and also promising her a drink sometime, I launched myself off the rooftop of the Sanctuary again, heading in the direction of the Manor. I made sure to land outside the gates, away from Vic’s own CCTV, and walked up to the large iron gates, jumping over them in one swift leap, before running up the path to the Manor I called home, to get to my fiancée in time… before I earned myself a spanking. ===================================================== If you want to read a month in advance (that's 8 chapters), or just want to support me and my writing, you can do so through Subscribestar! Subscribers get 4 weeks (8 chapters) early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want four weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories, why don't you check out my SubscribeStar? Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post. And it goes without saying, my story is not to be used in any way to create AI work. Thanks!

Good story and you're doing well with the characters. However, this has been heading more and more towards AB and that's not my cup of tea so I'm out. Well written and I've enjoyed it up until the last couple chapters, so you did good! Thank you, and I hope you and your audience enjoy it from here out. Christi

I want these right now. They're Megamax, with fun prints. And they cost the same as the plain white ones too. https://www.northshorecare.com/adult-diapers/adult-diapers-with-tabs/northshore-pack-pals-12-hour-printed-adult-diapers

Yeah, you're over reacting. It takes at least 3x more than normally used to cause --temporary-- neurological or cognitive impairment. It takes many years with large repeat doses to cause any long-term problems. And botox does work, albeit only temporarily, and only when administered perfectly.

MMMMMm! cant wait for more teehee!

Those look adorable.

My wife of 17 years is incredible as a partner and mom to our kids. She is undoubtedly the love of my life. She considers herself fairly kinky because we have tried anal a few times, but her mostly vanilla self would probably have a stroke if she saw me diapered. I have not openly discussed my want for diapers, and the couple times it came up at all didn’t exactly get a warm response. Personally, at this point it isn’t worth upsetting the apple cart, but I’ve felt how I do about diapers as long as I can remember so that isn’t going away. We have two teenagers so I’m gonna give it a few more years and maybe capitalize on that empty nest feeling lol. She would accept it, because we both know we are with the right person, but at best I think she would look the other way. We have always allowed each other space for individuality. I feel like an idiot on here. First day, seeking community support I guess, or just to see that there are other real people with these situations. Of course I want to share this with her, but it feels selfish and unnecessary right now… and for the last 17 years. SMH.

Yes!!! You’re back!

And after a long delay... Chapter 22 Jasper walked out of the airport terminal almost numbly, one hand gripping the handle of his carry-on, the other shoved deep into his coat pocket. The sliding glass doors opened to a wash of damp night air, heavy with exhaust and the stale heat that seemed to rise from concrete long after the sun had gone down. For a moment, he simply stood there. Atlanta. Finally. A thin line of taxis waited beneath the curbside lights, their roof lamps glowing in a tired row. Jasper blinked at them as if they had appeared from some other world. He was thankful, at least, that he didn’t have to wait for luggage. If one more carousel, one more delay, one more murmured apology from an airline employee stood between him and home, he might have laughed. Or snapped. Or sat down right there on the curb and refused to move. He adjusted his grip on the carry-on and walked directly toward the first taxi in line. The driver rolled down the window. “Where to?” Jasper gave the address. The driver nodded, popped the trunk, then stepped out with the slow, practiced movement of a man who had done this a thousand times. Jasper handed him the bag and climbed into the back seat before the trunk even closed. He did not want to waste time opening an app, watching some tiny animated car wander in circles around the airport, calling a driver who would tell him he was at the wrong door, then take his sweet time finding him. He did not want to explain the terminal. He did not want to make small decisions. He wanted a driver who knew the city, a meter that clicked, a direct road home, and no more surprises. The taxi pulled away from the curb. It was past two in the morning. The city outside the window looked hollowed out, all glass, sodium lights, and empty lanes. Jasper leaned back and closed his eyes, but not all the way. He had spent too many hours trying to rest with his body strapped upright and his mind pacing like an animal in a cage. New York to Indianapolis. Indianapolis to Dallas. Dallas to Atlanta. Even thinking the sequence made him feel vaguely sick. It had not been a route so much as a punishment. The original flight had vanished behind delays, weather holds, crew issues, mechanical checks, explanations that sounded official and meant nothing. Each new boarding pass had felt like a small insult, each connection a fresh negotiation with exhaustion. He had stood in lines, watched monitors change, jogged across terminals, eaten something wrapped in plastic that sat in his stomach like regret, and listened to people around him complain into their phones with the raw intimacy of strangers past caring. And still, despite all of it, despite the crushing need for sleep, he had not been able to doze on any of the planes. His eyes had burned. His neck had ached. His legs had gone restless and then stiff. He felt tense, bloated, and faintly grimy, the way air travel made a person feel handled by too many systems and touched by too many surfaces. Beneath it all ran the sharp little ache of disappointment. Friday evening had been the prize at the end of the week. That was what kept him going through meetings, airports, and the long, stale hours away. Not the house itself, not merely his own bed, though he wanted that badly enough. It was Melissa. Dinner with Melissa. A proper dinner, the kind that began with her opening the door before he could reach for his key, laughing at the look on his face, maybe wearing something that told him she had been waiting for him. Even if it was a diaper and T-short. Maybe, a baby doll and a diaper, he had fantasized. A table set. Music low. Something warm on the stove. Or maybe nothing that domestic. Maybe takeout and candles. Maybe her arms around his neck and that sly, secretive expression she had been wearing over the phone for three days. “You just get home Friday,” she had told him. “I am trying.” “No. Don’t try. Do.” “I have some influence over airplanes, Mel, but not as much as you think.” “I have plans.” “What kind of plans?” Her voice had softened then, slipping into that murmur that had followed him through half the week. “You’ll see.” He had smiled at his hotel ceiling when she said it. Now the thought came back to him in the dim back seat of a taxi, and instead of warming him, it made him exhale slowly through his nose. All his expectations had come to nothing. Or almost nothing. The reunion he had imagined had burned up somewhere between Indianapolis and Dallas, or perhaps while he was standing under the dead white airport lights in New York, staring at a gate screen that kept pushing his departure farther into the night. The evening was gone. Dinner was gone. Whatever surprise Melissa had been guarding was gone with it, dissolved into the miserable arithmetic of missed connections and airline incompetence. He took out his phone and checked it again. No reply. His own message sat there, plain and lonely. Arrived ATL. Coming home. He stared at it, then turned the screen off. Melissa was asleep. Of course she was. She had probably tried to wait. He knew her. She would have fought it. She would have curled up on the couch with a blanket and told herself she was only resting her eyes. At some point, she would have gone to bed, the phone would have slipped beside her or under a pillow, and the house would have gone quiet without her permission. Good, he thought. Let her sleep. The taxi merged onto the highway, and the engine settled into a low, steady hum. Jasper watched the black road unroll beneath the headlights. There was no conversation from the driver, and for that Jasper felt almost grateful enough to tip him double. The silence allowed his thoughts to arrange themselves into something practical. He would get home. He would pay the driver. He would bring the carry-on inside without letting the wheels clatter too much over the entryway. He would close the door softly. He would not turn on the big lights. Shoes off by the door. Bag in the corner. Jacket over the chair, unless he had the energy to hang it. He pictured the hallway, the faint outline of furniture in the dark, the quiet order of home. He pictured Melissa asleep in her room, turned slightly to one side, in a diaper and little else, one hand tucked under the pillow. He would undress quietly, perhaps rinse his face if he could bear standing at the sink, perhaps not. Then he would slide into bed beside her, carefully, so as not to wake her too suddenly. Maybe he would kiss her shoulder. Maybe her eyes would open just a little. “You’re home?” she might whisper. “I’m home.” Maybe she would smile without fully waking and reach back for his hand. Maybe she would murmur, “Welcome home,” in that soft, sleep-thick voice he loved. Maybe there would be nothing. Just her breathing. Just warmth. Just the relief of lying down beside the one person who made the word home mean more than a destination. He knew he was in no position to even feel tempted to make any advances, no matter how much he found the scene of Melissa clad in a diaper erotic, enticing or arousing. Jasper leaned his head against the seat and looked out at the city lights sliding past. After everything, a gentle kiss and a “go back to sleep” would be enough. At least, he told himself it would be. - It almost felt like a dream. As Jasper stepped out of the taxi, he looked around him at the heavy, unbroken stillness of the complex. Darkness stretched across the rows of windows, and a profound silence hung in the humid Georgia night. He nodded at the taxi driver, who offered a low, appreciative word for the generous tip, and walked into the apartment building. The transition was jarring as he stepped into the lobby, his eyes burning as he squinted at the bright, sterile lights in the hallway and the elevator. He made his way to the familiar apartment door and slid the key into the lock, turning it with an agonizing, practiced gentleness so the metallic click wouldn't carry through the wood. It was entirely dark in the apartment at first glance. But as he stepped inside and walked into the entryway, a faint warmth eased the tension in his shoulders, and he smiled. Melissa had left a few lights on for him, creating a soft, amber trail through the gloom. He kicked his shoes off by the door, letting out a long breath as his feet hit the cool floorboards. As he walked past the kitchen, he reached out and turned off the small nook light, and when he crossed into the living room, he paused to click off the corner lamp stand. The apartment plunged into a deep, velvety shadow. He carefully set his carry-on and backpack on the floor in the corner, shedding the final weight of his journey, and stepped into Melissa’s bedroom. He breathed in deeply, his lungs filling with the comforting, clean scent of her space. A tiny, faint glow caught his eye, and he smiled at the small child's nightlight plugged into the wall near the baseboard, shaped into a star with a cheerful, painted-on smiley face. Jasper grinned in the shadows, shaking his head slightly. It was incredibly cute, a soft nod to the private world they were building together. His gaze drifted upward, falling onto the sleeping form in the center of the bed. Melissa. She was fast asleep, showing no sign of being awake or even drifting on the surface of consciousness. She was lying on her side, slightly curled, with the thin blanket pulled up to her waist. She had probably given in to the exhaustion of waiting, knowing Jasper would arrive at an unreasonable hour of the morning, and had simply let the quiet room claim her. Jasper resisted the immediate temptation to wake her, though the urge to hear her voice was a heavy ache in his chest. Moving with slow, methodical precision, he pulled off his heavy travel sweater and his t-shirt, balling them up and tossing them toward the hamper. He unbuttoned and slid off his stiff jeans, feeling his skin finally breathe after days of confinement, and folded them loosely onto the side chair. His socks came off next, and he wiggled his toes against the carpet in immense relief. He sat down carefully on his side of the bed, the mattress shifting under his weight as he looked over at Melissa’s sleeping form. She was positioned almost perfectly on her side, as if she had unconsciously selected this exact spot to wait for his familiar, comforting spooning motion. He felt his heart beat a little faster against his ribs. The visual was too enticing to ignore. He reached over, his fingers catching the edge of the thin blanket covering her, and lifted it gingerly. There she was. She was wearing only a soft sleep t-shirt and a pristine white disposable diaper. The hem of her shirt had bunched up around her midriff, leaving the clean, neat lines of her diaper completely exposed to the faint light of the star nightlight. He reached out, his large hand hovering for a second before he gently pressed his palm against her diapered bottom, moving with extreme care so as not to startle her awake. He justified the touch to himself, whispering internally that he just wanted to check and see if she had wet herself while she slept. She was dry. He let his fingers slide slowly along the smooth, soft plastic of the diaper. The material was warm, radiating the natural heat of Melissa’s sleeping body. His fingers drifted lower, tracing the neat contour of the padding as it wrapped around her hip, careful not to let his skin brush against her bare thighs. He could feel the sudden, unmistakable rush of the beginnings of an arousal tightening in his gut, a direct response to how beautiful and sweet she looked lying defenseless before him. But as quickly as the heat flared, he realized he was simply too exhausted to do those feelings any kind of justice. His body was running on fumes. He pulled the blanket back over her, tucking her in gingerly, and felt his muscles complain with a dull, heavy ache. He needed the bathroom. After hours—days, really—of not having a proper, relaxing moment to himself, he got off the mattress and headed toward the ensuite bathroom, stepping inside and closing the door completely before he switched on the light. The brightness made him wince, but as his eyes adjusted, he noticed an open package of diapers neatly tucked away between the white vanity and the toilet. Jasper smiled tiredly at the domestic sight. He slipped off his boxers, sat down on the toilet, and let out a long sigh as his body finally gave in to the sweet surrender of home. His bowels responded instantly to the profound sense of safety and relief; he was finally back where he belonged, and his mind finally stopped pacing. As he sat there, his gaze fell on the marble vanity counter directly in front of him. There was a tidy stack of three diapers set out on the edge, placed there for easy access and practicality. They were folded, soft, and uniformly white. Jasper reached out, his fingers brushing the top one. He felt a sudden, quiet urge to just take it, to feel it and caress the material in the quiet of the night. He lifted the clean diaper and held it against his cheek for a brief moment, feeling the soft, plastic texture of the outer shell. He unfolded the tapes slightly, bringing it closer to breathe in the faint, distinct scent of the manufacturing—the subtle clean smell of the cellulose fibers and the sterile plastic backing. He resisted the urge to fully open it up or play with it any further. He folded the tabs back down and set it neatly back on the countertop, watching the stack settle. The sheer exhaustion in his skeleton seemed to worsen now that the stress of travel was draining out of him, his posture sagging as he leaned forward. He cleaned up thoroughly, washed his hands, and slipped his dark boxers back on. He quickly brushed his teeth, staring at his bloodshot eyes in the mirror, and completely rejected any further attempts to humanize himself tonight. He didn't have the energy for a shower or a full routine. He was falling into bed exactly as he was. He turned off the bathroom light, opened the door, and navigated the dark bedroom by memory. Melissa mumbled something incoherent, a soft, sleepy sound, as he slipped under the covers and the mattress dipped under his weight. "Go back to sleep, love," he murmured into the darkness, his voice low and raspy. Melissa didn’t even answer, already drifting back down into the deep warmth of her dreams. Jasper allowed his head to hit the pillow, feeling every muscle in his back and shoulders completely relax into the mattress. He didn't even have the strength to roll over and pull her close against his chest. Sleep claimed him instantly, pulling him under before the final echo of her diaper's faint rustle could fade from the quiet room.

Richard is called through for an interview that will determine everything that comes afterwards... --- I am only able to write as much as I do thanks to the generosity and support of my subscribers. Writing is my only source of income and it is because of these people that I am able to do that. It allows me to keep the lights on and puts food in my fridge. My subscribers get early access to all my stories, and access to around 30 EXCLUSIVE stories that are only available for my subscribers along with other benefits. If you are interested in supporting me and getting these benefits please consider checking out one of my subscriber pages. Thank you ❤️ https://reamstories.com/elfy https://subscribestar.adult/elfy --- The corridor was very long and there were a great many doors leading to, presumably, a great many offices. Richard walked through the door he had been directed to with butterflies in his tummy. Zoe followed him in and closed the door behind her. “I hope you haven’t had to wait long.” Zoe said with a smile as she indicated a chair in front of her desk for Richard to sit in, “This is always a busy time of year for us. We get a lot of August babies leaving it to the last minute.” “It wasn’t too bad.” Richard replied. “Good.” Zoe logged on to her computer, “Right, there’s some things I need to fill in. Whilst I’m doing that there is a test I would like you to fill out. Multiple choice, no big deal.” A collection of a dozen pieces of paper was slid in front of Richard, stapled together. He looked from the paper to Zoe and back down again. “No big deal”, she had said. Richard knew enough to think there was nothing done in these offices that wasn’t a big deal. He picked up a pen and started looking through the questions whilst Zoe continued to type. The test was bizarre. The questions were all over the place. One second Richard would be answering a simple math question like “Steve had seven apples and ate two, how many apples does Steve have left?” and then the next question would have him searching his morals, “A trolley is coming down the track, you can do nothing and let it run over five innocent people or pull the lever and make it run over one innocent person…” “Still going?” Zoe asked a few seconds after she seemingly finished typing. “Should I be done already?” Richard asked. “You don’t need to second-guess everything.” Zoe chuckled, “There’s no time limit.” Richard subtly felt the pressure being applied to him. He wondered if it was intentional. Was he really being slow? Or was Zoe deliberately making him feel slow to see how he reacted? He took a deep breath and forced the paranoid tension out of his body. These people were bureaucrats, not psychologists. “I think I’m done.” Richard said a couple of minutes later after ticking a couple more boxes. “Are you sure?” Zoe asked. Her eyebrows were raised. “I… think so?” Richard replied. His answer sounded more like a question. “Want to double check anything?” Zoe continued. Richard was starting to doubt his earlier musings. Maybe Zoe was a psychologist after all, she was certainly making him hesitate before he shook his head and pushed the paper back across the desk. Zoe picked it up and started leafing through it. Richard had assumed she would scan the results into the computer or something, instead she glanced through once and then placed it on the desk. She looked up at Richard and didn’t say anything. “How did I do?” Richard asked. He was trying to maintain an air of confidence. He hoped the desk hid how much his legs were shaking. “How do you think you did?” Zoe asked. She leaned on her desk, her elbows on the flat surface and her chin cupped in her hands. “I don’t know.” Richard shrugged his shoulders, “Average?” “Hmm.” Zoe made an interested sound and returned to the computer where she inputted more data. Richard could feel himself starting to sweat. He had first thought he would be in and out in no time, then that talking to Zoe would be a formality… but now he was panicking. He could clearly see that he should’ve been worried all along. His mind turned to running away. He imagined leaping out of the chair, wrenching the door open and sprinting towards the big double doors. If her was lucky, maybe he would catch the guards unaware, get a bit of a head start… but then what? “You’re looking a little pale.” Zoe commented. She was still typing but her eyes kept darting over to Richard, “Are you feeling unwell?” “A little…” Richard’s stomach churned. He desperately wanted to know what Zoe was typing, “So… you’re some kind of therapist or something?” “Or something.” Zoe replied, her answer giving little away. “L-Look… C-Can we be upfront with each other?” Richard asked a little desperately. “About what?” Zoe turned away from the computer. “It’s just… I think that maybe I haven’t given the best account of myself.” Richard tried to smile, it didn’t work, “And, I think, maybe if you gave me the test again I could do better.” “Hmm.” Zoe made the same interested sound again as she went back to the PC and typed out some more sentences, “You think you could do better?” Richard swallowed. He felt like he had just made things worse. Maybe he shouldn’t have drawn attention to it, maybe the whole thing was a test and stressing over it was failing. His hands were shaking now as he gripped the arms of his chair hard. When he didn’t answer her, Zoe went back to rapidly typing. “Well, I think we have everything we need.” Zoe said, “Unless you’ve got anything to add?” Richard stared forwards dumbly. He felt like he SHOULD have something to say. He should be pleading his case forcefully, proving his masculinity and maturity. He couldn’t think of anything. His mind was blank and after a few seconds he just shook his head. As Zoe reached into a drawer and pulled out some forms, he started praying to be designated Big. “Well, Richard, we’ve looked at your whole past.” Zoe started, “Your grades at school were average, though your attendance was in the lowest fifteen percent. There’s very little in terms of extra-curriculars and those we have asked about you have made comments suggesting a certain… immaturity.” “You’ve asked people about me?” Richard interrupted. “We are thorough.” Zoe replied, “We don’t want to make a mistake with the rest of your life after all. We have asked teachers and community leaders, people who know you but maintain some objectivity.” Richard watched as his name was filled out on the certificate in front of Zoe. She wrote in the date and time, then she moved across to the box showing designation, the one where the big stamp went. On the corner of the desk was a green stamp, like the one Richard had seen used on the other young man’s certificate, and next to it, a red stamp. Zoe’s hand started to move over to them. Richard watched with wide eyes and a dry mouth. The young woman’s fingers brushed against the green stamp that would’ve meant Big, instead her fingers clasped the red stamp. Richard’s heart and stomach dropped simultaneously. It was like a nightmare was unfolding in front of him in slow motion. “Wait!” Richard exclaimed, “L-Look, I know you have a bad impression of me. M-Maybe I haven’t tried hard enough up until now but…” “Richard, I’m sorry, but…” Zoe lifted the stamp. Richard could see the red ink on the mould which read “Little.” His lip trembled, “We don’t make mistakes.” “No! Please! I can’t be a Little!” Richard begged, “I’ll… I’ll give you money! I’ll do whatever you want! PLEASE!” “Richard, do you know that trying to bribe a government official is a crime?” Zoe asked, “I’m willing to overlook it, I’m sure this is a shock, but you’ll get used to it.” “I… I…” Richard wrapped his arms around his midsection. It had to be a sick joke. The stamp came down on the certificate. Zoe pressed it down, making sure the word “Little” would be permanently affixed to it. As the stamp came away, it took with it all of Richard’s adulthood. He could only stare as the ink quickly started to dry. He thought about running again, but as if his mind was being read, Zoe picked up the phone on her desk and called for security. “It’s just procedure.” Zoe said as she replaced the phone, “To escort you to the next phase.” “I’m… not a Little.” Richard said weakly. “As of about ten seconds ago, yes, you are.” Zoe replied, “I know it gets a bad rap, but it’s not so bad. You will be well looked after and you won’t have to worry about things like money, relationships, jobs…” “I WANT to worry about those things!” Richard suddenly said. “It has been decided that you won’t have to.” Zoe replied. She was smiling again, but it was the sort of indulgent smile you aim at a child telling you about their day, “I’ll level with you, baby. Once you came in here, the chances of you being a Big were almost nil. You had some very bad scores. You would’ve had to ace the test, and even then…” “Can I appeal?” Richard already knew the answer as the crush weight of what was coming started to fall on his shoulders, “Speak to a supervisor or something?” “It doesn’t work like that I’m afraid.” Zoe said. The door to the office opened and two men in security uniforms walked in. They moved across and stood either side of Richard’s chair. He looked up at them, one stared resolutely ahead whilst the other had a sympathetic expression. Richard’s brain had seemingly emptied. He didn’t know how to react, he didn’t know what to think. All his plans and thoughts about the future had just gone up in smoke right in front of him. It didn’t seem real that he was losing his adulthood, had already lost it, from the moment the ink hit the certificate. He thought about all the other people in the lobby who would now be walking away with their adulthood intact, just another day, off to call friends and hang out. Richard thought about his own friends and how humiliated he would feel if any of them knew what had just happened. “Richard, we know this can be a stressful time.” Zoe said. Her smile was sympathetic, and her voice was soft, “These are some big changes that are about to hit you. That’s why these gentlemen will escort you to the next part of the process.” “Can I…” Richard started another forlorn desperate attempt for a reprieve. “No, baby.” Zoe replied, “There is one thing you can help me with though. Did you come here with anyone?” “My parents.” Richard’s voice cracked as he said it. His eyes teared up as he imagined what they would think when they heard the news. “We can’t let you leave here without legal guardians. This is likely the last serious choice you will have to make.” Zoe said the second sentence as if it was a good thing, “Would you like to be placed under the care of your parents? Or would you prefer to be put up for adult adoption?” What a choice! Richard blinked and felt fat tears rolling down his cheeks. He wanted a third option, one that meant he didn’t have to spend the rest of his life as a baby! Richard took a deep shaky breath. He hadn’t given any thought to what he would want. He didn’t think ANYONE would spend time asking themselves where they wanted to be a baby, at home or somewhere else. Richard started thinking about what was going to happen. He had seen TV shows of Littles. He’d seen the nurseries, the toys, the… diapers. He felt himself starting to get angry. This was unfair. He had never agreed with the whole designation process at all. His sister had spent years telling him what a farce it all was! He hadn’t really paid much attention but now it was the only thing that mattered at all. Why should he have to make such a decision when he was perfectly capable of being an adult? “No.” Richard stated. He tried to inject as much authority into his voice as he could manage, “You can’t do this to me!” Richard tried to get up and out of his seat. Two hands immediately clapped him on the shoulder and pushed him back down against the chair. His hands balled up uselessly. He was tiny compared to the two behemoths standing next to him. In his impotent rage he stamped his feet against the floor and let out a scream that he felt must’ve been heard all the way back in the lobby. “Calm down, son.” The older of the security guards said, “You don’t want to cause trouble.” Trouble was exactly what Richard wanted to cause. He acted as if he was calming down, just enough to get the security to lower their guard. Then he lunged forwards at the desk. He didn’t really know what he wanted to do, he wouldn’t hit a woman, but his frustration and fury couldn’t be contained. He aimed to hit the computer, the avatar of the algorithm that had just condemned him. His arm barely started to swing forwards before it was grabbed by a large hand. --- If you liked this update and want to see the next update RIGHT NOW you can do so here: https://reamstories.com/page/lpjgftb4y2/story/mozb40hx8a1381/chapter/mpsy9vm1a1813a3 https://subscribestar.adult/posts/2517454

37. My New Power When we got down to the back door, I hesitated for a second. I couldn’t find my shoes. There was a rack next to the door, but they all looked way too smart for running around the park with a soon-to-be-little kid. But Ffrances came to the rescue. I didn’t see where she managed to find a pair of black Converse, but I was sure they hadn’t been anywhere I could see them. I put my shoes on, and then turned to Tess. She had bright pink Crocs, so she didn’t need to lace them up and was already waiting for me. She was also laughing, like she had seen something I missed. I looked down at myself again, and then back at her. I didn’t think I’d changed, and nothing else in the room seemed at all unusual. Tess was wearing kids’ clothes, so it would have made sense if I just kept on laughing. In fact, it was hard not to. But I hadn’t changed at all; Ffrances might have picked out the clothes for me, but she’d given me jeans and a tee that showed off my style pretty well, and I didn’t think anyone walking past would think I was a sheep. Or a baby, like my cousin. If she told me to be younger, I might have to think about it so I would know how to play along, but she certainly hadn’t said it yet. This trick was even easier than I had expected. “What’s funny?” I asked, and then went right back to giggling over what I was going to show her today. I had to start slowly, but I knew I’d be the one laughing when she was just a little kid again. I opened the door and stepped outside, and then wondered why we were going out the back way. It seemed a bit weird, because I was sure the front door was closer to the park. “Come on, girls,” Ffrances ushered Tess outside, and then closed the door behind her. “Now, we’re going to be playing a lot. And I want you both to have fun. But I have to set some rules. Do you understand? No going outside the garden, I don’t want anything unusual happening in front of other people.” I could understand that, anyway. I could get in so much trouble if somebody saw me teasing Tess. Here there was nobody who would see anything; the windows overlooking the garden were all on our house, except for Mrs Hogarth’s attic next door, and the view from that direction was surely blocked by the evergreens that stretched higher than the roof now. It was a perfect safe space to try out the magic words on Tess. “You ready to be my little sister now?” I asked her, and stuck out my tongue. It seemed the perfect way to show her that I was going to be in charge today; just a little childishness. Just enough to make sure that Ffrances didn’t know I hadn’t really been hypnotised. “We can be sisters?” she said, and she seemed to be just as amused as I was. “Better than calling you cousin all the time. Like we live together, so it’s like we’re sisters anyway, right? Cousins sounds like you have to come visit each other.” “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.” Or my head was still full of one of my fantasies, one of the stories I’d been reading at school yesterday about a bully being turned back into a baby by her sister. I could so imagine myself doing that to Tess, it would be incredible. And now I had the chance, it was hard to get it out of my mind. “Just a minute,” Ffrances interrupted, but she was still smiling. “I want to see if we can take that picture again. Right? Let’s get that done, before you wear yourselves out with whatever games your little hearts can come up with.” “I’m not little,” Tess protested, but she was still laughing about it. “She’s the little one.” “You’re going to be!” I answered, and we were talking over each other for a few seconds. But I knew we still had to do what Ffrances said. My teasing of the baby would have to wait. Ffrances told us where to stand, and pointed her phone. She took a couple of pictures, and then asked us to move our arms around, and tried again. But she wasn’t happy with the results. After a while I was getting tired of posing, but then she seemed to have another idea. “Okay, you’re chasing each other in the old picture,” she said. “So maybe you’d better try running around again. You can be excited, can’t you, and moving? That might work better.” She started out telling us where to go, and then gave us a little more freedom. We ran around in circles, with me trying to catch Tess and then her loping awkwardly after me. It was easy to laugh when I saw her, dressed up in clothes that were really too small for her, and looked like something a little kid would wear. But that was the point today, to have her dressed up like a toddler, and she was having so much fun I don’t think she minded. It wasn’t long before Ffrances realised that the baby needed to be a bit more excited; so she could just throw herself into the game and stop looking around to see where the camera was. So she told us both that we were eleven now, and to get totally absorbed in the game whenever they started playing. I blushed as I realised that this was nearly it. She still hadn’t noticed that I missed the hypnosis. Every time she said something like that, Tess was getting a bit younger while I just stayed the same. And now that Tess was seeing herself as being eleven, I knew that the next time she would have to be younger than me. But right now she was running away, trying to prove that she was faster. I set off running, and straight away she was changing direction. We had a big garden, with a big lawn and a couple of trees to dodge around, but I was sure that I could catch her soon enough. She dodged, I weaved, trying not to leave a gap where she could run past me. I slipped once as I tried to turn too fast, but I was back on my feet right away and almost ready to catch Tess. I caught her, and Ffrances told me well done. And then it was Tess’s turn to chase me. It was a simple game, but a lot of fun, and before long I’d completely forgotten that we were supposed to be posing for photographs. The next time I let her catch me, I knew that I had a chance. I wanted to be older than my cousin, but I was only allowed to use the magic words when they were fun. And we were having so much fun that Ffrances probably wouldn’t make her any littler, so I had to do it myself. “Hey Tess,” I grinned, “Really think you can get away from me with your little legs?” “Yeah, it’s my turn!” “Then why don’t we make it more fun? Have something to play for.” Ffrances was watching. I could feel without looking that she’d turned in my direction. But I carried on, sure that we were allowed to play. Wasn’t that the whole point? And Tess was nodding, so there was nothing the grown-up could tell us off for. “Tess, you’re nine now, and you’re really ticklish like a little kid, you can’t stop me tickling you once I catch you. Okay?” She thought about it for a second, and I could see her blushing. But she didn’t want to admit that I was faster than her. And then she answered: “But then I get to chase you too!” Before I could react she’d jumped up and sprinted away towards the hedge, and the only thing on my mind was showing her how small she really was.

Act II For ease of navigation, Act II of The Last New Start also starts at Chapter 36. 36. Our Baby’s Clothes When I reached my room, I gave a little sigh. Ffrances had laid clothes out on the bed for me, and they were just what I’d been expecting. But somehow, seeing them spread out like that made it all the more embarrassing. They were the same clothes I had worn when babysitting more than ten years before. Jeans that I might have considered stylish. I’d probably called them distressed, but in truth they were worn out. I’d been so opposed to being a vapid follower of fashion like Jenny Hollister that I’d found a completely different style without realising. I’d mistaken scruffy for edgy. It was just my good luck that I’d been attractive enough for people not to say anything. Or maybe they had said something, just not where I could hear. The T-shirt that went with those clothes was a Paramore one, much worn. Well, it wouldn’t really have been anything else. I might have listened to a dozen different bands at that age, but half my wardrobe was filled with almost identical prints. That had been my attempt to be edgy as well, and it was only looking back on it as an adult that I realised how cringeworthy I must have been as a child. Still, I was going to be older than Tess today, and the only way I could achieve that was by changing into my old clothes. They were freshly washed, at least, and smelled of Ffrances’s favourite floral fabric conditioner. She must have washed them at home, to save them from any dust that had built up while they were in storage; making sure that there was no chance of Tess seeing them before she knew what we had planned for today. I’d seen Tess’s clothes as well; they looked just like the ones in the photo we’d just been staring at, but I was sure they weren’t actually the same. Tess hadn’t grown as much as she would have liked in the intervening decade, and I thought the outfit looked quite loose on her in the photo, but there was still no way she could have fitted into toddler clothes without extreme discomfort. But when Ffrances held them out, I was sure that they weren’t quite as small as the last time I had examined them. She’d either adjusted the clothes, or remade them in something closer to my cousin’s current measurements. I changed my clothes, feeling a little strange about it. I wasn’t supposed to be getting younger today, that wasn’t the point. I was supposed to be the older cousin for a change, so I could look down at Tess a little, and tease her the same way she’d always done to me when I was younger. But persuading Ffrances to hypnotise her had been hard enough; and the only way I’d been able to get Tess to ask for it was pretending that regression was something I wanted to do as well. So I would be thirteen again, a little kid who didn’t know any better. I wasn’t enthusiastic about being young again, but as long as it gave me the chance to turn Tess into a real child I would take it. I didn’t know yet if I would make her twelve, or ten. Or if I would tell her to be even younger, an excitable six-year-old perhaps, or all the way back to being a toddler, or even a baby. Every possibility excited me, but I also knew that going too far would put her off, and there was a chance she might decide against being hypnotised again if she didn’t enjoy it. Six was probably a happy medium, small enough that there would be no doubt who was in charge, while still old enough to say what she wanted, so she didn’t feel like she was out of control. Under the rest of the clothes, I found a pair of zebra-print knee socks. I didn’t even remember those until I stretched them out, and remembered just how awesome they had seemed when they were nothing like anything my friends would wear. I felt confident and in control, proud of my individuality. Even without the suggestions that should have turned me younger, I was feeling excited. Happy enough to play along, knowing that before long my cousin would be the little one. I went down the stairs two at a time, and saw that Ffrances was waiting outside Tess’s room. And then the soon-to-be little girl came out, looking just a little embarrassed. She was wearing green dungarees, sturdy fabric that would give her great freedom of movement, with a stiff skirt-like bit that just about hid the fact that her outfit had buttons between the legs of her shorts. It would be easier for the grown-ups to change her diaper if they needed to, but I assumed she wouldn’t actually be wearing a diaper today. Ffrances had said that we would start slowly with making us younger, and I didn’t think Tess would ever have agreed if we asked her to wear a diaper right away. Still, it gave me a google to imagine my so-serious cousin dressed up like a tiny little baby. “All dressed up?” Ffrances asked, and we answered with a chorus of “Yes.” “Feeling young and cute?” We chorused our agreement again, although I wasn’t really feeling any littler. I’d watched the hypnosis without taking part, so I would just be able to play along. This was going to be so cool. “How old do you feel, Tess?” I joined in the questions, because I wanted to show how grown up I was to start with, putting myself on the same level as Ffrances. Then Tess have to think of me like a grown up, and she would do what I said when she started getting properly little. “Umm…” she mumbled. “I’m fourteen. Like we didn’t start changing yet, did we?” “No. But it’ll change soon enough,” I giggled, and then thought about the instructions I’d heard Ffrances give her. The things I needed to say, when I wanted Tess to start being younger than me. Did I just have to tell her how old she was, and how it felt? I looked at Ffrances again, wondering if she was going to show me how to do it the first time. But she didn’t seem to be doing anything. I took a deep breath, swallowed, and tried to remember how it felt to be a little bit younger. “Tess,” I said, confidently. “You’re only thirteen now. That means you’re all giggly, and you still get excited about cartoon shows and all those teddy bears you’ve got in your room.” Tess started to blush, and I couldn’t even guess what was going through her head. Did she feel herself getting little again, or did it just change without her noticing? How would I know if it had worked? “Are you?” Ffrances asked, and Tess nodded. “How old are you?” “Thirteen,” she answered, with no hesitation at all. It had worked! “I bet this is going to be loads of fun, it’s so cool!” “And you, Gabby? How old are you?” “I’m nearly thirteen,” I answered right away. “But there’s only a few months in it now. As soon as I tell her to be littler again, I’ll be the big one and then she’s got to do what I say!” “Is that fair?” “Yeah. It’s my turn to be in charge, isn’t it? I get to look after a real baby now and she can’t stop me.” “But I can, young lady. And I say you’re only allowed to make her younger once she’s had time to get used to it, and you have to stop if Tess says she’s uncomfortable. You can try to be a big girl, but you’re not allowed to be a bully.” “Sure, sure,” I shrugged, certain that I could do whatever I wanted. I had made my plans, and I knew how much fun today was going to be. Tess was already giggling, like she could see the biggest joke ever and nobody else had got it. If she did what I said so easily then there was no way she could stop me. When I realised that I started laughing too, and thinking about all the fun I was going to have. The two of us were laughing away, not paying attention to anything else around us. But there was one big difference between us: I actually had something to laugh at, and the supposed teenager was just giving up and feeling like the little kid I’d told her to be. “Well, would you two like to come and take a photo, then?” Ffrances asked, and we both managed to nod an answer. So with Ffrances in the lead we headed for the garden, where I could show her the next bit of my brilliant plan.

Chapter 9, No More Fuss, Baby Boy I woke slowly to the soft sound of birds outside the window and the weight of a warm arm draped over my chest. Emily was still beside me. Half-asleep, breathing quietly, her forehead resting near my shoulder, her fingertips gently brushing the thin fabric of my pajama top. The room was dim, with morning sun just beginning to peek through the curtain edges, painting golden lines across the bedding. It was peaceful. It would have been perfect, if not for the heavy, unmistakable squish between my legs. I didn’t move at first. Just blinked up at the ceiling, the slow fog of sleep pulling back as my body registered the truth. The diaper was soaked. Not damp. Not mildly used. Soaked. The padding pressed close against me, thick and swollen, sagging slightly inside my pajamas. It was warm, too, not freshly wet, but not entirely cold either. The kind of warmth that came from hours of absorption. I remembered waking up once, maybe twice, during the night. I remembered thinking about holding it, about maybe getting someone to change me… and then deciding to just let a little out. Just enough to fall back asleep. But this much? Emily stirred beside me. Her hand drifted lower, over the blanket, then slipped gently beneath it, resting on my stomach, then sliding down to the front of the diaper. She squeezed once, then gave a soft hum. “Good morning, baby,” she murmured, kissing my shoulder. “Looks like your night diaper did its job.” I said nothing. Because how could I argue? I didn’t remember doing all of this. Emily sat up slowly and stretched, her shirt lifting slightly with the movement. She glanced back down at me with a soft smile. She leaned in, kissed me on the forehead, and brushed a few strands of hair from my face. “You just relax for a few more minutes,” she said sweetly. “I’ll start breakfast. Tessa’ll come check on you soon.” And just like that, she slipped out of bed and padded out of the room, humming softly to herself, as if it were the most normal thing in the world to leave her husband lying there in a very wet diaper, waiting patiently to be changed. The door creaked open a few minutes later. I was still lying there, awake, wet, half-dressed, and staring at the ceiling, when I heard the soft rustle of fabric and the click of the light switch. Tessa’s voice followed, bright and chipper. “Good morning, sunshine.” I turned my head. She was already walking toward me, barefoot, her hair twisted into a loose bun, a fresh diaper folded under one arm and a pack of wipes in the other. She didn’t even pause. “Oh yeah,” she said with a grin as she approached the bed. “I can smell it from the hallway. Somebody’s diaper did a lot of work last night.” I flushed. “I didn’t… I mean, I don’t remember going that much…” She raised an eyebrow and peeled the blanket back. The heavy warmth of the diaper immediately greeted the cool morning air, making me squirm. “Well your diaper tells a different story,” she said, clicking her tongue. “And we both know diapers don’t lie.” I started to sit up, but she placed a hand gently on my chest. “Uh-uh. Lay back, sweetheart. Let Auntie handle this one.” I exhaled slowly, sinking into the pillows again as she tugged my pajama pants down and got to work. The tapes came undone with familiar rips, and the swollen diaper peeled away with a wet squelch. “Wow,” she said, shaking her head with mock amazement. “Emily’s gonna need both hands to lift this into the trash.” I groaned. Tessa only smiled. She cleaned me with quick, practiced wipes, teasing as she went: “Legs up. There you go. You really soaked your whole little bottom, huh?”, before slipping a fresh diaper under me and smoothing it out. A generous dusting of powder followed. Then came the snug pull of the front panel and the firm, expert tightening of each tape. “There,” she said, giving the front two pats. “Fresh as a daisy.” She helped me sit up and handed me my soft lounge pants. I pulled them up slowly, the clean padding thinner than what I’d been wrapped in all night. Compared to the swollen bulk of the soaked overnight diaper, this one almost felt… light. Manageable. Still thick enough to keep my legs slightly apart. Still impossible to forget. But not heavy. Not sagging. Not squishing. Just… snug. Downstairs, Emily had the table set for breakfast: scrambled eggs, warm toast, little slices of apple with cinnamon. A full glass of water already waited at my place, no coffee, no juice, just what they’d decided I should have. “Perfect timing,” Emily said as I entered. “Sit down, baby.” I sat. The chair gave a soft creak beneath me as the diaper compressed slightly under my weight. Tessa slid into the seat across from me. “We were just talking about what a good boy you’ve been. Staying in your jammies all night, using your diaper like you’re supposed to…” I looked down at my plate. They weren’t mocking me. Not exactly. But they weren’t joking either. They were just… telling the truth. I ate in silence for a while. At one point, Tessa stood and walked to the fridge. She opened the door, took something from the front panel, and turned with a little grin. “Let’s not forget your sticker,” she said, peeling off a gold star and placing it on the growing chart taped to the door. “One for a soaked night diaper. That’s what we call ‘excellent compliance.’” Emily clapped softly. “You’re earning your rewards, sweetheart.” I wasn’t sure if I wanted these rewards. After breakfast, Emily wiped my mouth gently with a napkin, then took my plate with a quiet kiss to my cheek. “Go get comfy in the living room, sweetheart,” she said. “We’ve got something relaxing for you.” I padded softly across the wooden floor, the fresh diaper crinkling faintly beneath my lounge pants. It no longer felt strange, it just felt… present. Always there. Always warm. Always reminding me that I wasn’t in charge of when it came off. The couch had a light blanket already laid out, and a small stack of items waited on the coffee table: a coloring book, a simple plastic box of colored pencils, a sharpener. The cover of the book had soft pastel animals on it, babyish but not cartoonish. I sat down carefully and opened to the first page. A bear with a honey pot. Trees. Clouds. I picked up a blue pencil and began to color. The rhythm of it was oddly soothing. No decisions, no expectations. Just keep the lines neat, fill the shapes, stay busy. From the kitchen, I could hear the soft clink of dishes being rinsed and the low murmur of voices. They were talking. Quietly. I couldn’t hear the words, but I could tell by their tones, easy, warm, vaguely amused. Then I caught a whisper from Emily, her voice clearer for a moment. “…if he starts fussing, we’ll use it.” Tessa laughed under her breath. “Oh, I’ll make sure he does.” Another pause. “Keep it close, just in case.” The water ran. Cabinet doors opened. They weren’t rushing. They didn’t sound like they were hiding anything. I looked back at the page. Finished the bear’s fur. Started on the grass. My stomach gave a quiet flutter. They were planning something. And they weren’t even pretending to hide it anymore. Lunch was light: grilled cheese, apple slices, more water for me. The kind of meal I might have had at age seven, served with smiles and soft chatter while I sat squirming slightly, the padding beneath me warm and gently expanding from another quiet wetting I hadn’t quite noticed until it was too late. After the plates were cleared and wiped down, I stood to help with the dishes. But Emily gently took the sponge from my hand. “No, no, sweetheart. You’ve done enough for now.” Tessa leaned casually against the counter, arms crossed, smiling. “Besides, it’s almost naptime.” I blinked. “Naptime?” “Just a little rest,” Emily said lightly. “After your big day yesterday, and such a wet night, we think you should lie down for a bit.” “I don’t need a nap,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m fine.” Tessa’s smile didn’t move. “We didn’t ask if you needed one.” “I’m not tired,” I tried again. Emily gave a soft sigh and turned to the counter drawer. She opened it slowly, and when she turned back, I froze. In her hand was a large, pale blue pacifier, the medical kind, with a soft silicone nipple and smooth shield. My breath caught. “Wait … what is that?” “We decided earlier,” she said, stepping closer. “If you start fussing, this goes in.” “You can’t be serious.” Tessa reached behind me, lightly touching my back as Emily raised the pacifier to my lips. “Open,” Emily said simply. “Now.” I stood frozen. “If you open now,” she continued, calm and gentle, “you can lie down quietly and keep your dignity. If you don’t…” Tessa’s voice filled in, playful and cool: “We’ll get mittens and straps. And you’ll still wear it anyway.” My cheeks burned. Reluctantly, slowly, I opened my mouth. Emily pressed the pacifier between my lips, then adjusted the shield gently with her fingertips. “There we go,” she said, stroking my cheek. “That’s better.” “No talking,” Tessa added. “And don’t even think about taking it out yourself. You’ll wait for one of us. Understood?” I nodded, shame prickling behind my eyes. Emily took my hand. “Let’s get you tucked in, baby.” I was led down the hallway, the twins at either side of me, until we stopped in front of a door I hadn’t seen opened before. Tessa turned the knob. Inside was another guest room. It was softly lit, neatly arranged, but unmistakably different. My heart skipped. A hospital-style bed sat against the far wall, high rails folded down for now. A rolling cart stood nearby with wipes, gloves, folded diapers, powder. A changing table. A sturdy wooden chair. Everything calm, sterile, quiet. Emily guided me to the bed. I didn’t resist. “Climb up,” she whispered. I did. The mattress was firm, the sheets tucked tight. She helped me lie back, adjusted the pillow beneath my head. Tessa pulled out two soft fabric restraints, clipped neatly to each bedrail. “Just for safety,” she said sweetly, as she buckled one around my wrist. “And to remind you that you don’t get to choose when naptime ends,” Emily added, fastening the other strap. I whimpered behind the pacifier, but didn’t fight them. Emily pulled back my lounge pants, checked my diaper, and gave a little nod. “Let’s freshen you up before you drift off.” Tessa handed her a new diaper, same type as this morning. No booster. Not needed, apparently. I lay still, eyes wide, cheeks hot, as they changed me right there on the bed, working together in perfect rhythm, calm and practiced. They taped it up snugly, patted the front. “You’ll be nice and dry when you wake up,” Emily whispered. Emily pulled the blanket up to my chest, tucked it gently around me, then leaned in to kiss my forehead. Tessa moved around the bed silently, and I heard the soft click… click… click of metal latches as she raised both side rails, locking them into place. I turned my head slightly, watching as the soft bars slid into view on either side of me, high enough now that I couldn’t simply roll out or climb down. The bed no longer felt like a bed. It felt like a crib. “You’re safe, sweetheart,” Emily whispered. “You’ll sleep so well like this.” The light dimmed, the door clicked shut, and I was alone. I woke slowly, the pacifier still resting between my lips, the blanket pulled snugly around my chest, the room quiet and dim. It took a few seconds to remember where I was, the crib-like bed, the soft restraints still fastened loosely around my wrists, the faint scent of baby powder lingering in the air. Then I moved. And felt it. The diaper between my legs was definitely wet. Warm. Cushioned. Slightly swollen. Not soaked. But clearly used. And I didn’t remember doing it. I’d fallen asleep dry. Emily had changed me right before my nap. And now I was lying there in a diaper I hadn’t meant to wet, still sucking gently on a pacifier I hadn’t removed. My stomach fluttered uneasily. And then came the other sensation. Pressure. I realized that I still had to go. Badly. My bladder ached, the kind of tight urgency that came from holding it too long. But the diaper was already wet, and I wasn’t even sure when that had happened. I stared up at the ceiling, my hands resting near the rails on either side, chest rising and falling as I tried to make sense of it. Was I starting to… lose control? Had I wet in my sleep? Why didn’t I wake up? Why did I still have to go? Nothing made sense. The door opened before I could convince myself I had control. I’d been lying still, hoping to ignore the pressure building in my bladder, the quiet but insistent ache that hadn’t gone away since I woke up. My diaper was already wet, and I was sure they’d check. I could tell it wasn’t enough to warrant a change, and I didn’t want to add to it, not while strapped into this crib-like bed, not with the pacifier still tucked between my lips like a mute button. But the second I heard the hinges creak, the moment their footsteps touched the threshold, my body gave in. Not all at once. Just a tiny pulse. Then another. And before I could stop it, a slow, helpless release spread through the front of my diaper. I could feel the warmth blossoming in waves, soaking quietly into the padding that now clung to me in ways I couldn’t ignore. My face flushed red. I closed my eyes, hoping desperately that they hadn’t noticed. But of course they had. They always did. “Aww,” Emily said, her voice soft and full of gentle understanding as she approached the side of the bed. “Were you trying to wait for us?” I blinked up at her, still helpless, the pacifier resting in my mouth like a silent admission. Tessa circled around the foot of the bed with a wide smile. “You were, weren’t you?” she teased. “Trying so hard to hold it… and then we walk in and oops.” Emily reached down and cupped the front of the diaper through the blanket, then slipped her fingers past the waistband to check more thoroughly. “Oh, honey,” she whispered. “You just couldn’t help yourself.” Her tone was warm. Tender. Like it was nothing to be embarrassed about. But the heat in my face didn’t go away. Tessa leaned against the rail, watching me. “It’s kind of adorable,” she said. “He tried to act like he was in control. But his body knows better now.” My stomach twisted. Emily began unfastening the restraints, her fingers working efficiently, like this was just part of the routine. “That diaper can still handle more,” she said softly. “So we’ll leave it on. You’re nice and safe in it, and we’ve got errands to run.” Tessa opened the wardrobe and pulled out a pair of soft pants and a zip-up hoodie. “Let’s get our little shopper dressed,” she said, tossing them onto the bed. “Something cozy that won’t hide the padding too well.” She grinned at me. “We wouldn’t want the villagers thinking we keep you in boring underwear.” Emily helped me sit up slowly, her hands careful and steady beneath my arms. The front of the diaper was heavier now, clinging warm to my skin, swollen enough that I felt it press and shift as I moved. She said nothing about it as she guided my legs over the side of the bed and crouched to unclip the soft restraints from my wrists. “You did just fine,” she whispered, brushing my hair back. “It’s all part of what we agreed, remember?” Tessa reappeared with the clothes she’d picked. Soft cotton lounge pants in a light gray, a long, loose hoodie, and a pair of thick socks. “Lift your bottom,” she said lightly, folding the pants open in her hands. I obeyed, cheeks still burning. The diaper crinkled audibly as I shifted. Emily slid the hoodie over my head while Tessa helped me step into the pants. They went up slowly over the bulky padding, clinging a little at the crotch and backside. Not enough to be obvious to a stranger, maybe, but I knew it was visible. They definitely knew. Then she cupped my chin and gave a gentle tug on the pacifier’s ring. “You can go without this for now,” she said, slipping it out slowly. “But only if you remember how to behave.” I blushed and nodded, jaw stiff. Tessa leaned in, smirking slightly as she took the pacifier from Emily and tucked it into her handbag. “It stays with us, though. Just in case.” “Good,” she said. “Because we’re taking a little trip into the village.” My eyes widened. “I told you this morning,” Tessa said, grabbing her purse from the chair. “You’ve been such a good boy lately. You deserve a little treat.” “But no change,” Emily added, stepping into her shoes by the door. “Your diaper’s not full yet. There’s no need to waste one.” “You’re not leaking,” Tessa agreed, turning to glance at me with a smirk. “Not yet, anyway.” I followed them to the door, waddling slightly in the damp bulk, arms folded in front of me, hoping the hoodie would hang low enough in the back. The drive into the village was short. The sun had come out again, and the streets were quiet. Mostly locals tending to their gardens or chatting near shop windows. Emily parked in front of a small grocery shop with a painted wooden sign and potted plants flanking the door. “We won’t be long,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt. “Come on,” Tessa said cheerfully, opening my door. “Let’s go pick out some candy.” Inside, the shop was calm. An older woman behind the counter gave us a polite smile as we walked in. She didn’t look twice at me, but I kept my head down anyway, hands tugging gently at the hem of my hoodie, trying to feel less obvious. Emily handed me a small woven basket. “You can choose one soda and one sweet, baby.” Tessa leaned down to whisper near my ear as we passed the candy shelves. “If you behave,” she said softly, “we might let you drink your soda from a straw instead of a bottle later.” She gave the front of my diaper a casual pat through my pants as she turned away. Tessa had wandered toward the back where a wooden bin held fresh plums and nectarines. I knelt slightly in front of the candy shelves, trying to look relaxed, but the rustling of my lounge pants and the slight tug of my hoodie every time I bent forward made me constantly aware of what I was wearing underneath. I reached for a small bottle of orange soda and a chocolate bar, moving quickly. But just as I turned to place them in the basket, a quiet voice behind me made me freeze. "Everything alright there?" It was the shopkeeper, an older woman with a kind smile, wiping her hands on her apron. Before I could think of an answer, Emily stepped in beside me with a light laugh. "He's just choosing his treat for later. Took a while to decide." The woman smiled at both of us. “Of course. Let me know if you need anything else.” She turned away without a second glance. My face still burned. Back at the cottage, the afternoon was soft and quiet. Tessa unpacked groceries while Emily handed me my soda, already opened, a flexible straw tucked into the bottle’s neck. I was placed on the couch with a puzzle book and some old magazines while the twins worked around the house. I tried not to squirm, but the wet diaper had cooled and bulked slightly, reminding me constantly of its presence. No one mentioned a change. No one asked if I was comfortable. And I didn’t want to draw attention to it. Dinner was light: vegetable soup, bread, and thin slices of cold meat and cheese. I ate quietly, sipping water while Tessa poured wine for herself and Emily. I tried to pretend everything was normal. Later, after the dishes were washed and put away, and the light had faded to a soft dusk, I couldn’t take it anymore. Emily was folding a blanket at the edge of the couch. Tessa was rinsing a dish, humming lightly. I stood up. “I think I should be done with these now,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “The diapers.” Emily turned slowly. Tessa paused at the sink. I added. “I don’t need these.” Tessa turned, drying her hands with a towel, one eyebrow raised. “Don’t need them?” she echoed, like she was testing the words on her tongue. Emily gave a quiet sigh and stepped closer. Her voice was calm, measured. “That’s not what your diaper said earlier.” “That was … ,” I said. “I just …” “It wasn’t just once,” Tessa interrupted, already walking toward the sideboard drawer. My stomach dropped when she returned holding the blue pacifier. “I think it’s time to quiet those complaints,” she said, stepping in front of me. “You don’t need to talk right now, you just need to listen.” Emily guided me gently back to the couch, her hand on my shoulder. I didn’t resist. “You’ve had such a good day,” she whispered. “Let’s not ruin it over something silly.” Tessa stood in front of me now, pacifier in hand. “If you want to keep acting like a grown-up, maybe we move you back to our bed. But if you keep complaining, we move all your things into the special room, day and night.” My mouth opened in protest. But Emily’s hand slid up to cradle my cheek. “We’ll still love you either way,” she said gently. “But this”, she gestured to the pacifier, “is what happens when you try to argue your way out of what your body clearly needs.” Tessa tapped the pacifier lightly against my lower lip. “Open.” I hesitated, then did. She slid it in and gave the front a light press. “There,” Emily whispered. “Now we can all have a calm evening.” The pacifier stayed in for the rest of the evening. No one asked if I wanted it out. No one offered. Tessa curled up on the armchair with a novel while Emily stretched out beside me on the couch, her fingers lazily tracing circles on my leg. We didn’t watch anything. The quiet filled the house like fog, soft, inescapable, and oddly soothing. When the clock struck nine, Emily stood and offered me her hand. “Time for bed, sweetheart.” I didn’t argue. The pacifier was still nestled against my tongue, and somehow, by then, it just felt easier to leave it where it was. She led me upstairs with slow, steady steps. At the bedroom door, she turned and gave me a soft smile. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” I was laid back on the bed, the pacifier still in place as Emily untied the drawstring on my lounge pants and peeled them down slowly. The front of my diaper was puffy and warm, still not soaked. She didn’t say anything at first, just cupped it gently, then pressed two fingers beneath the leg elastic to check. “A good day,” she said softly. “You stayed relaxed. You let us help you.” I nodded faintly. She untaped the diaper with slow, practiced motions. It peeled away with a soft sound, revealing skin marked faintly with creases from hours of wear. She cleaned me gently, talking to me the whole time in a calm, near-whisper. “We’ll try one of the night diapers again. With the booster.” I wanted to protest. But I didn’t. When she was done wiping me down and patting me dry, she unfolded the thick, bulky diaper and slid it beneath me with quiet efficiency. The booster pad came next, tucked neatly into the center before she pulled the front up over me. She taped it snugly, smoothed it down, then helped me into a soft, oversized sleep shirt. No pants. No plastic pants either. Just the thick diaper, soft and obvious between my legs, crinkling faintly as she tucked me into bed. And then she disappeared into the hallway. I lay still, watching the ceiling. I didn’t even flinch when she returned with the bottle. Warm milk. Vanilla. Heavy with comfort and expectation. She helped me sit up just enough, then cradled me into her lap. One arm supported my back. The other brought the bottle to my lips and gently replaced the pacifier. “Good boy,” she whispered. “Drink it all.” I suckled slowly, the milk soothing, sweet, familiar now. Emily rocked me slightly as I drank, her fingers combing softly through my hair. And in the stillness of her arms, my thoughts drifted. Was I really just doing this because I lost a bet? Or had I stopped pretending somewhere along the way? I hadn’t taken off a single diaper since we got here. I’d stopped asking to be changed. I’d wet myself, not just accidentally, but quietly, willingly. More than once. And now I was falling asleep in a nursery-thick diaper with a full stomach and the taste of warm milk on my tongue. I wasn’t sure I minded anymore. Emily kissed my forehead and took the empty bottle from my hands. “Sleep well, baby boy.” She slipped into bed beside me, pulled the blanket over both of us, and gently wrapped her arms around me.

Thanks for all the feedback I'd love to know if anyone can guess how this will go… your speculations about what comes next are the biggest reward for me. (And sorry to anyone waiting on the new chapters of TLS; I've let myself get a little too sidetracked with other hobbies lately, like learning Godot and making videos about the process of creating my first game. The story is still coming on, just very slowly) 2. My Preparation I read up everything I could find on littles. I wanted to know everything that could go wrong; having decided that a cousin I’d not seen in years was going to be my little, I needed to be sure that I could make it work for her, and that I knew how to make her enjoy it. The hardest part would be getting her into the right headspace, but I’d learned a lot of basic psychology in the time I’d been dating Ffrances, and I knew that the biggest part was the environment. If I could get her comfortable with just a few childish things, maybe a cutesy nickname, then I could build on that. And if she was surrounded by the right environment for a toddler, it would be so much easier for her to slip into her headspace without even noticing. I had some neighbours around for drinks the day after the first message, so I made sure to get some good photos. People after a few drinks, doing dumb things that they would groan about being reminded of in the morning. Not anything that would give a bad impression; more good friends with lowered inhibitions, not the kind of drunkenness I might have seen in my college days. I didn’t send any pictures of the room Tess would be living in, because I wanted her to be surprised. What I did do for her room was pick out paint, furniture, and details that would be perfect for a toddler. I wasn’t sure yet what her little age would be, so I made sure there was stuff in there suitable for any age from 9 months to 9 years. That was practically her real age anyway, so she might not discard everything without a thought, and then I could work on gradually expanding the age range of things she would be willing to play with. The biggest effort went into getting the walls painted. I could have done it myself, but I wanted it to look perfect. Thankfully there were friends I could call on. A local guy who I’d done some favours for in the past could be persuaded to come in the same day, and give the room a complete makeover. Not just the paint work, but a decorative border set slightly higher than normal, a door handle a couple of inches above the most common height, and shifting the light switches and outlets just a little, would create a subconscious impression that the room was smaller than it seemed; or help the girl waking up here to feel a little smaller than usual. I’d already seen in her father’s emails that Tess didn’t like anyone mentioning her height, so I had to make sure that there was nothing she would actually notice was off. I needed to make her feel small in a safe place; not feel like I was calling her small. It reassured me, as well. If she was constantly picking fights if someone treated her like a child, she would put up a wall between herself and the rest of the world. If I could get her to understand that she was still a cute little one, I could help her to get over that. To make the most of her natural cuteness, so she could enjoy it rather than always being in denial. Of course I couldn’t be sure that she actually was that cute, because asking for a picture would have seemed weird. But I had no doubt that she would become just as adorable as she’d been ten years before. Once the decoration was done, I started on the furniture. The bed in there was a camp bed, that had only seem occasional use when college friends came to stay over, but it was quickly packed away and stashed at the back of the attic. I found a new bed for her, with a wooden headboard made of twisted vertical rods. The kind of thing that might be reminiscent of a baby’s crib, without any distinct point you could put your finger on. Slightly larger than a standard size as well, which made it harder to find cute character bedding decked out with princesses and stars, but a person with enough determination could find anything. A bigger bed could help her feel nice and small, and she wouldn’t even notice the extra eight inches without something to compare it to. The same for the increased height; it wasn’t something that most people would even notice. It took more than a week to get everything ordered; and then once it was delivered I spent an hour every evening pushing the furniture around, trying different layouts. In the end I settled on the first rough arrangement that I’d tried, just with the changing table on the opposite side of the window. Still, the movement had served its purpose. The vivid pink carpet no longer looked or smelled new; there were faint marks that would never quite fade where the a bookcase full of heavy textbooks had stood for a week and a half. It gave the impression that this was a room that had been used as a nursery for several years before I even moved in; so my baby wouldn’t be suspicious. And the smell of paint had already faded. Everything was perfect. I had three more days to plan. I still needed to think about some things; I needed to make sure that I wasn’t going to upset my new baby. I needed to be sure that she would be happy here, and for that to work she needed to know that I wasn’t mocking her, that I didn’t see her as a child. I would be her friend, until she was comfortable letting her little side out around me. * * * “You sure she’ll like it?” Ffrances asked, when we were reclining on the couch after a tough hour of moving furniture around. And other activities; which were just as tiring, but came with more immediate rewards. We’d probably have to change the bedding in the nursery again before Tess arrived, but we still had a few days to do that. I’d told my cousin Trish and her family that Ffrances and I were away enjoying ourselves, having finally got work schedules that allowed us to take a vacation at the same time. It wasn’t really a lie; we’d only been back for a day when I got the first email from Grandma Forton. But if Tess noticed anything out of place, it would be easier to dismiss her concerns if she thought that I just hadn’t had time to get the room ready for a child her age. “Tess?” I answered, not quite sure what the right thing to say would be. “Yeah. I mean, you said she likes pink, but isn’t that a bit too much?” “She’ll love it. She’s just… look, I can trust you, right?” “What kind of question is that to ask your girlfriend?” “Yeah, I was just thinking too much. Like, I’m nervous about it. But I think I should tell you the truth…” It was a long conversation, but I’m sure she understood. 3. My Confession “Tess told me a secret,” I whispered. It wasn’t just that whispering gave me an excuse to move a fraction of an inch closer, or that I loved to breathe right into Ffrances’s ear and feel her shiver with anticipation. Because the things I was about to tell her were a real secret, and if she didn’t keep it to herself it would hurt both me and my beloved baby cousin. “What kind of secret?” “She’s… I’m not sure I even know the word for it. Tess’s mom, Trish, had a big bust up with Uncle Phil, right? I might have mentioned it. It’s not that important right now, but after that half of them wouldn’t talk to them anymore. The kid always had this huge extended family, right? Experts in everything, a small army who all had each other’s back. And now her mum insulted their church, their faith, and the town they grew up in. They were pretty much ostracised. Tess didn’t know what was going on, she just knew she wasn’t seeing her aunts and uncles anymore. Trish and John both threw themselves into work to get over it, from what I heard. And they weren’t paying so much attention to Tess.” I didn’t see her nod, but I felt her moving against my chest. She was listening, paying full attention to my words. She believed it too, which was no big surprise because it was all very easy to believe, even if she didn’t know the people involved. “Anyway, she felt a little left out. And then she’s been bullied at school too. Not recently, but it was pretty bad when she was younger. She went from having this huge extended family all doting on her, and a tight group of friends at school, to a new school with nobody who cares and parents who barely have time to show her that they still care. She wasn’t old enough to properly understand then, and she felt like her childhood was kind of tainted. So now…” “Like she wants to catch up on what she missed?” “Yeah, that’s what I get. She reached out to me because she remembered playing together when she was a kid. She’s my cousin once removed or something, I’m not sure the right terminology, but to her I think I was more like the cool young aunt. A symbol of the bits of childhood she enjoyed, so she jumped at the chance for me to look after her again. She wants to recapture her childhood, see, and her parents leaving the country again was a perfect excuse. She couldn’t tell them that, and she’s embarrassed to admit it even to me. She’s always felt like she’s under so much pressure to grow up and be responsible, see, but really she wants somewhere she can be nurtured and find out what childhood would have been like if she was loved and supported. She wants to go back to being the little kid with everybody looking out for her again.” “I think I can see that. If she can still be mature enough to get her schoolwork done, or whatever, I think that’s pretty neat. And you’re going to such lengths to create a good environment for her. What are her parents going to say about the pink? Wouldn’t it be better to change everything up after she moves in, so you know she’ll like it?” “I thought about that. But I had to work with the days Malcolm was available. And her parents, well. They’ve not spoken to anyone in the family since Trish’s big meltdown. So all they know about this place is that I moved here after uni. If they question it, I’ll tell them it was like that when I moved in. I’ll give her the chance to make any changes she wants, anyway. It’s all about making her feel safe as soon as she arrives, so she knows she doesn’t have to be embarrassed. I bet she’ll still have a hell of a time trying to admit it out loud, after all those years of people shaming her for acting childish at all. But at least this way, she can see how it feels before we have to have any serious conversations. She can deny what she wants without having to give it up. And making it look like it’s always been like that, I think there are other benefits. Like she won’t feel self-conscious. I don’t want her to know how much effort I’m putting in, I don’t want her to feel like she owes me. If the furniture is a bit worn, and the carpet is stamped down, there’s no nagging feelings of guilt over asking for something weird.” Ffrances nodded slowly, and I could imagine the thoughts jostling around in her head right now. I hoped she would understand, and she wouldn’t have a problem with all this. It all made sense, I was sure of that, even if I wasn’t technically speaking the truth now. I knew that Tess wanted to be young again, that much was clear, but she hadn’t had the courage to come out and say it even to me. But when she contacted me so soon after I realised I wanted a little to care for, it could only have been fate. Tess was in the dark about my decorating attempts as much as her parents, but I was sure that it wouldn’t take long for her to realise how much she loved it. And with Ffrances helping out, I was sure it would be that much easier to make it feel real for her. “You really got in this girl’s head, didn’t you? Repressed desires, and providing an avenue to express them in a healthy way. You picked up something from those psych seminars, then?” “I picked up the best thing to ever happen to me,” I chuckled, and nibbled her ear. The conversation about Tess was over for now, I was sure. There wasn’t much need for understanding human psychology in my line of work, but I’d found it interesting enough that I’d taken a two-module elective in the last year of university. I’d spent most of the course ignoring the slides on the whiteboard, drawing distracted sketches of the teaching assistant’s ass. I would never have had the courage to say anything, but apparently my gaze was too direct to overlook, and she’d offered me a private tutorial after I struggled with one of the exams. Three years later, she was seriously considering moving in with me; so there was no way I could have forgotten that particular part of my education.

Here is the first chapter of my brand new story - Elysium! Just a heads up... the first chapter is kinda heavy. But it's needed. There will also be content warnings throughout the story, but I'll make sure to flag them whenever possible. Now... Elysium... This is what happens when I put a lot of myself into a story. Infernum and Arbitrio were the first ones where I put a lot of myself into it... but this one feels a lot more personal than any of my other stories, so I really hope you like it. It's also a lot longer than my usual stories (Probably aiming somewhere around the same length as Little in Love or Love in Dimensions). It's different in a lot of ways, so I hope you enjoy all the differences to my usual stories. I know this genre is a little overdone in our circles... but this is a story I needed to write. You'll see why as it goes on. Enjoy! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Especially when it comes to new stories! Chapter 1: The Edge Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Tw: Depression, suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide ------------------------------- Just one more step. Just the tiniest bit of momentum. That was all that was needed. Was I being selfish doing this? Maybe. But it’s not like people will care for more than a week at most. They’ll get over the initial shock and go back to living their normal lives. I was always just a background character to their stories anyway. Always was. Always will be. At least since I lost Mum anyway. They’ll be like ‘Oh, did you hear about Noah? He jumped off the bridge and died. Such a shame. Had so much life to live.’ The same useless shit people say whenever someone dies. Everyone says the same rubbish especially whenever someone kills themself. That ‘they wish they had seen the signs’, ‘wish they had done something’, ‘they were struggling’, ‘at least they’re not suffering anymore’… and it’s all bullshit. They don’t care. They just feel bad that they didn’t give enough of a fuck about someone who was struggling to do anything before it was too late. It takes the tiniest amount of effort to reach out to someone struggling like this, but none of them can be bothered. I bet they’ll say the same things about me. But I think I gave them enough signs. If they can’t read them… that’s their fault. I pretty much plastered them on the walls in bright red paint in all caps… but they were still oblivious to the message. Even if they did read them though… At this point, when I’ve reached rock bottom… what could actually help me at this point? Therapy? Ha… sure… I’ve tried like four different therapists and not one of them could help me. Meds? Doc won’t prescribe anything else because nothing seems to be working. Mental hospital? I’d rather di-... yeah… that’s why I’m here on this ledge… I stared out at the empty road below. Thankfully… no traffic this late at night. No one’s oncoming car to accidentally fall onto. Which is good, because I already feel pretty fucking guilty for ruining the day of whoever finds me… But hey, at that point I won’t have to worry, I won’t be around. Part of me worried that maybe this isn’t high enough. Because I had heard somewhere that people had survived large drops… and if I do take that final step, I want it to be exactly that… final. I don’t want to survive it. That will just lead to… complications. Locked away for a while ‘for my own safety’. The thought of that sends a wave of terror through my whole body. One of my biggest fears is being locked away, unable to escape. It’s why I’ve put this off for so long. I could’ve attempted something before… but I was worried of failing and what would happen if I did so. But now I’ve reached absolute rock bottom and I’m like 99% sure I’m done with this life now. So as my foot hovered over the large drop in front of me, my hands tightly gripping the railing behind me, balancing precariously on the edge of the bridge… I tried to mentally prepare myself. It wasn’t too late to back down though. No one would know… it’s the dead of night. There are no cars, no people… it’s a quiet little English town after all. And I picked this spot in particular so that no one could stop me, that there would be no-one around to stop me. But if I backed out… I could just go home, and no one would have any knowledge of what I planned to do. Which means no-one is doing anything drastic to keep me safe that would end up with me getting much worse. No… I’m ready. I’ve contemplated this for years. Even before I lost my Mum in my teens. Even before I told my Dad about all that stuff… before he kicked me out. I was always depressed. Always wanted to stop existing. It was never a ‘I want to die’, it was more of a ‘I don’t want to exist’, or ‘wish I had never been born at all’. Now it’s different, of course, I mean it’s why I’m balancing here on the edge of a bridge. It wasn’t all bad though. I loved my childhood. Mum made it special. She was my support… my best friend. I loved her so fucking much. Then… she was just gone. Dead. And I was left with Dad. That’s when it all went downhill. Grades slipped, Dad got aggressive. Never violent, but definitely more aggressive. You could tell he didn’t love me the way Mum did. I was just this dumb kid of his, some failure of a son. And he loved to remind me. Then when I told him about all the things going on with my life… he reacted a lot worse than I’d hoped. Kicked me out. Haven’t talked to him in years, but hey, good riddance I say. Mum hated him anyway, it’s why they separated when I was very little. When I had to move in with Dad after Mum died… I think another little piece of my soul died. I’m still surprised I got into university despite all that. Barely scraped through too, earning myself a useless degree that may have actually hindered my job prospects afterwards. So my education was ruined, as was any job I worked after I left Uni, as were all my relationships. Relationships… Ugh, this is the worst timing for me doing this, isn’t it? So close after Abigail broke up with me. She’s… she’s going to blame herself for this. Sure, she broke my heart into a billion tiny pieces, but she didn’t push me over the edge. Even if she did turn all our friends against me. No, I was ready for this for a long time, even back when we were dating. I just didn’t want to hurt her. And now look at me… I liked her. A lot. But I was always holding myself back with her, keeping a large part of myself locked away in fear of how she’d react. Hell, pretty sure that’s part of the reason she broke up with me. She said I was always so ‘mopey’... which she’s not wrong about, but I think she knew I was bottling things up around her, keeping her from seeing what was going on with me. She always had this big plan. She wanted me to propose soon, then we would get married, have kids… typical heteronormative crap you see on TV, with me as the loving husband who comes home after a busy day at the office. White picket fence and all that. But I didn’t want that. Well no, that’s not entirely true, I like the idea of it… but it wasn’t… me. I’m not that kind of guy. I’m not even… No, but anyway, I wasn’t right for her, she deserves her dream. So I’m glad she broke up with me. She deserves better. I just hope she doesn’t blame herself for what I’m about to do. No. I’m ready. One final breath. One final step. One final thought. Better make it a good one. …Nope. Can’t think of anything. Mind is racing too much to pin a thought down. Ah well, go out the same way I came in, eh? And with that last deep breath, I released my tight grip on the guard rail, the blood rushing back into them after they had turned white just moments ago. Momentum took over. It was out of my hands now. A stillness radiated my entire body. I was ready. This was actually happening. This is it. “WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YE’ DOING?” Something that felt like talons dug themselves into my shoulders, gripping tightly onto my shirt, and yanked me backwards back over the guard rail, tossing me like a ragdoll onto the pavement behind me. I crashed onto the pavement with my arse taking the brunt of the impact. Then my mind and thoughts rushed back, realising I wasn’t dead. “I…” Everything was spinning. I couldn’t focus or think. I had been at peace, ready to end it all, but then something, or someone, came along and literally yanked me from my fate, and now my mind was trying to catch up with my situation. “Hun… were you seriously about to do what I think you were about to do?” came a soothing voice, from who I assumed was the woman who just prevented me from doing something very stupid. At least I assumed it was a woman from what her voice sounded like, with the slightest twinge of a Scottish accent in there. Though it must have been some woman to have been able to throw me back over that guard rail… “I…” Adrenaline was coursing through my body, and I couldn’t figure out whether I wanted to admit the truth, lie, or simply just run away. My vision was blurry and I couldn’t focus. All I could hear was this soothing voice. So I couldn’t even put a face to it. “Sweetie… are you okay?” she said, crouching down in front of me. “I… umm… I’ll get back to you on that one…” I replied, finally managing a full sentence. “Hopefully sooner, rather than later… because you were one second from ending up as paste on the road below!” It was weird hearing such a lovely, almost maternal voice form such crude imagery, but it made me laugh a bit. “What’s so funny?” she asked. “Paste…” “Is your head okay? I didn’t knock it too hard, did I?” “No… I…” My vision started clearing as I looked up at who would normally be called a ‘saviour’ in this situation, though right now… I saw her as more of a hindrance to my overall goal. Freckles. That was the first thing I noticed. Well that and the very red hair. Like… proper ginger. She couldn’t look more stereotypically Scottish if she tried. Her voice definitely matched her appearance, dressed in jeans and a simple amethyst-coloured blouse under her black denim jacket. “Good. Because sometimes I don’t know my own strength. Now… are you going to tell me your name first?” “N… Noah.” “Well N-Noah,” she replied, imitating my stutter, “Care to tell me what you were about to do?” “I think that… is pretty obvious,” I replied, smiling awkwardly. “I guess it is. And why in the world would you do something like that?” “Because…” “‘Because’? Just ‘because’? Oh come on, sweetie… give me a better reason than that!” It was always hard to tell people this. To admit what I want. “I… want… I mean… I don’t want to be here anymore…” “And why is that? Did something happen?” “No. I mean yes. But I… I’ve been wanting this for a long time. Please. Just let me go. You shouldn’t stop me…” That’s when she took my hands into hers. “Sweetie, I’m not going to let you do anything drastic right now. You’re not in the best place, and I’m here to help, okay?” She sounded so… genuinely nice? Like sweetness personified. Even her words in her soft spoken accent made me instantly drop my guard around her. Which somewhat scared me… I nearly always have my guard up. “I… don’t think you can help.” “Try me.” “No. I… I don’t want…” “...To bother me? Shush. Now tell me, precious, what happened to cause such a little cutie like you to take the most drastic action he could possibly take?” I really don’t know what it is about this woman. She… she melts away whatever protection I had guarded myself with. Her voice, her mannerisms, that cute freckled face of hers… “Come on, petal…” “I… don’t even know your name…” “Ceres,” she replied, smiling down at me. “That’s a very… unique name.” “Well I’ll take that as a compliment then, but only because you’re cute,” as she said this, she sat down in front of me, not letting go of my hands as she parked herself on the cold pavement below. “I’m… not…” “Not cute? Lies. Look at you. I bet your girlfriend is all over you.” “D… don’t have one…” “You don’t? Well sorry, sweetie, but I find that hard to believe.” “I’m too depressed for her,” I replied, hanging my head in shame, trying to look anywhere but at her face. “Her? So there was someone? Is this what it’s all about?” “No. Yes. I mean… part of it.” “Then tell me more.” “It’s just… I’ve felt like this for a long time. Since…” “Since what?” “Since I lost my Mum,” I sighed. She went silent for a second. “Ah. Yes. I know how much that hurts. No Dad to help?” “No. He… didn’t like who I was growing up to be. I wasn’t his clone, so he didn’t care. I was always too much like my Mum.” She squeezed my hand, causing me to look up into her beautiful green eyes. “Oh sweetie. I understand your pain. But that doesn’t mean you go taking a step onto the motorway below like that. Are you in therapy? Missed your meds?” “None of it works. Tried it all.” She looked at me, no smile on her face anymore. As if she was trying really hard to read me. She was thinking about something, but I couldn’t even begin to guess what it was that was going on in that head of hers. “Right. Come on. Come with me.” Okay… I wasn’t expecting that. But hey, as long as she doesn’t call the police or for an ambulance… maybe I can get away with just slinking off home once she’s given me a talking to, and no-one in my life will be aware of what nearly went down tonight. “I… okay…” “Good boy. Let’s go sit on a bench and you can talk about what’s bothering you. Spare no details.” ------------------------------- “So depression, dead end job, no girlfriend, bad degree, shit dad, lost your Mum, facing homelessness, and nothing the doctors are trying is working? Is that everything?” “That… is pretty much it,” I replied, shrugging at her, not knowing what else to say. Ceres had found a nice little bench in the nearby park. It was just as dead as the bridge was, probably due to it being like… 3am. She had sat me down, wrapped her jacket around me (as I had been stupid enough to come out wearing just my t-shirt and jeans. Sure, it’s only the start of September, but it’s still pretty bloody cold at 3am in the UK, no matter what time of year it is), and barely released my hands from hers the entire time. I hesitated at first. I didn’t want to go and bother this complete stranger with all my issues, even if she had just technically saved my life. Despite wishing she hadn’t done so. But something about this woman, who looked not much older than 30, made me feel so… safe… that I eventually just blurted out everything, just one big stream of consciousness. I was worried maybe I had overwhelmed her, but clearly with her little summary… she had listened to everything. Not that I told her everything. There’s some stuff that I’m not even able to talk to myself about, let alone a cute stranger who just prevented me from ‘becoming paste on the road’. “Right. Well whilst I can see why you’d want to do what you were about to do… I still think you’re an idiot for attempting it.” “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be all nice and reassuring? ‘Idiot’ isn’t very nice, is it?” I asked, smiling cheekily at her, the first smile I had managed since she saved me. “Excuse me…” she said, trying her best to hold in her laugh, the one you could clearly see bubbling at the surface. “I’m very good at what I do. Not my fault some cute idiot decided to do something stupid and change my plans…” That’s when a wave of guilt hit me. The one I had hoped to have missed… after I had done the deed. “I… oh… sorry…” I replied, hanging my head in shame. “Oh shush. I was only on my way home from work.” “Still… sorry. You should be home right now.” “No, Noah… none of that bullshit with me, okay? You were in a low place, I understand that. Hell, I understand getting to the point where you’re teetering over the edge… but I will not have you putting yourself down just for slightly inconveniencing me. I’m just happy I got to stop you before you became vulture-chow.” “We don’t get vultures in England…” “And apparently you also don’t get jokes…” she said, nudging me playfully. “Sorry…” “What did I just tell you?” “S-... ah… yeah… Fine. No more apologies. For now,” I replied, pouting slightly at this cute girl. “Good boy.” Shivers ran through my body when she said those two words. And for a moment there… I swear she could tell. But it wasn’t good shivers. It wasn’t bad. It was like… a mix of both? “Now, sweetie. I’m a bit worried about leaving you alone right now. Have you got anyone you can call?” “No,” I snapped back at her, maybe a little too quickly. “No one?” “I… no. Sorry. I’ll be fine, you can just let me go home.” “Via the motorway?” she replied, pointing in the direction of where I had nearly jumped. “Oh I don’t think so, sweetie.” “I’ll be fine…” I groaned. “Look, I’ll give you my number. If you need someone to talk to, or have a drink or something, you just call me, okay? You’re not a bother. And I want you to be okay. You’re a cute guy.” I grumbled a bit, before she finally released her hands, reaching into her shoulder bag with both of them, before pulling her phone out with one of them. “Right, come here. I’m giving you the biggest hug ever. That way you’ll want another one, and be a lot less likely to go stepping off bridges…” Hey, I wasn’t going to argue with this woman. First off, she’s cute. Secondly… she gives off this vibe of ‘do as I say, or you’ll regret it’. Thirdly… I was still calming down after everything, so if I was going to try this again… I’d need a few days, I think, to get my head back to normal. And fourthly… and most importantly… she hadn’t called anyone. She hadn’t called the police. Hadn’t called to get me locked away for my own safety. She was just… letting me go. This was the best thing that could have happened once she saved me, and I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. As I stood up, she held out her arms, creating an opening for me to hug her. Slowly shuffling forward, I got closer and closer until she took the lead and stepped forward, wrapping her rather strong arms around me, squeezing me tightly. I wrapped mine around her waist and embraced the hug. With my head pressed against her chest like this, this hug felt like the best thing in the world right now. The best thing I had experienced in years. I felt all the sadness I tried bottling up, all the anger, all the pain, everything… come rushing forward, flooding my body with emotion. I began to cry into her shoulder. “There there, Noah, let it all out. You’ve had a stressful life from the sounds of it. Just let it all out. Forget about it. You don’t have to be big and strong with me.” Her words, along with the soft, comforting accent of hers… made me feel smaller than ever. Even as she stroked my blonde hair, which must have come untied from the ponytail earlier, I felt smaller than ever, despite her only being a couple of inches taller than me. And I’m 5’9! Yet I felt two feet tall compared to this woman somehow. “I… sorry I’m such a mess. You… you shouldn’t have to comfort me like this.” She squeezed me tighter, then moved her mouth closer to my ear. “Sweetie, I am so glad I ran into you tonight. I think fate brought us together. Because I think I can help you.” A small little pinch. In my upper arm. That’s all that was felt before the world… and my body… got really heavy. Before the world started spinning. Before everything felt… almost good for once. And then… the lights went out. ====================================================== Sorry for the really heavy start to this story. I promise you it gets easier. It's a very emotional story, and may have some darker moments like this. But I promise you, it's worth it. I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, despite this! Like I said... I put a lot more of myself into this story... Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

I don't know if you're the hero of this story or not, but you have certainly inspired a lot of us to try and to know that it's possible. I've managed to accidentally make a stent based off your design that I'm quite happy with. Hero? I don't know. But a successful influence? Yes. At the end of the day we're all in on this together and we learn from each other. Standing on the shoulders of giants, I would say at least.

Yeah that’s all I wear, I only wear panties or nappies for nearly 20years now. I am not allowed to wear boy clothes I’m proud to be a girl 🥰

I'm sure it will be very different, if only to avoid redundancy in the narratives. Anyway, the stories are set up very differently: unlike the other one, there is no suggestion that the ARs here are in any way mistreated or blamed for their condition.

Hey everyone! I added another chapter here, so now the total is up to 25. When I was actually getting into the depth of some of these characters, I realized I needed to flesh them out a bit more with the stakes and losses. Originally, Pete was going to lose a lot more at the end of the first chapter and just immediately head to the local institute that I’ve alluded to before. To me, in all these edits and additions, that felt way too rushed and I needed a chapter just dedicated to that first hurdle of going from an independent adult just going about their way in the world to the angsty teen mad at the world who now feels powerless. That being said, this one is a little longer than a few of the others to get all the stuff I needed to get done accomplished. I think longer chapters actually might be a trend for a few of these upcoming chapters as I already wrote them a while ago, but now I need to make even further edits and additions to them. I don’t think most of you mind a little more bulk in my stories though, and I think the characters get a little more growth going the longer way of things. Next, just as a reminder, a new poll is up for you all to let me know which story you all would like to read next. Story options and the link can be found back in the beginning of chapter 2. As I mentioned before though, if you feel more comfortable leaving a comment here or as a private message to me, I will count these as well. Additionally, like before, this poll will be shut down right before I post my final chapter on here. Further announcements will be made regarding this when the time gets closer. Last but not least and as usual, I hope everyone enjoys this next chapter! Chapter 7: That Old Familiar… Loss ‘Just a little push.’ My physics professor in college tried to coin that off as their own personal catchphrase at one point whenever describing their experiments. ‘Just one push and the ball will roll down the hill,’ or ‘Just one little push and the bridge might break under the strain you’re applying to it.’ It made sense, but most of us non-science majors just passed it off as another cooky quirk of our college professor… never thinking it would ever truly apply to our outside lives. I mean, the guy wore socks with sandals half the time, so surely his advice on life outside of science wasn’t worth much, right? Well… I was wrong. With Molly off to Milan for her photoshoot or whatever, I made sure to go to Simon’s and drink away my worries the very next day after my new prognosis. Being a Monday, the crowd was a little more limited, but there was a decent enough crowd that, sitting at the bar, I kind of blended in for a while. Having now bounced at 15, Oliver had a life to rebuild and a job to dedicate himself fully to. So, it wasn’t until about 9 or 10 that night that he finally showed up. “Olly!” I shouted as I waved over to my friend. Oddly, he looked a little embarrassed as he wandered over to me. “You made it! Here!” I quickly shoved a tall glass of the so-called ‘Popcorn Delight’ over to him. The foam on top a creamy yellow, it smelled like buttery popcorn and tasted close to an alcoholic cream soda. “Hurry! You’ve got a lotta catchin’ up to do to match me.” Oliver smiled and took a sip of his drink, but not downing it like he usually did, I knew right away that something was on his mind. “Thanks, Pete, but… how did your appointment go yesterday? You celebrating or trying to forget about it?” ‘Shit.’ I forgot I had told him about my appointment with Dr. Faulkner. Feeling like my only friend lately, I thought I should tell him on Saturday, but being too shocked over the news yesterday, I had essentially turned my phone off after my appointment and my impromptu meeting with Molly. Clearly eager to know, I knew I couldn’t keep something like this from him. “Uh… iss not great.” Not sure how he would take the news, I was trying to be subtle about these things. From Oliver’s expression though, even with changing my approach, I wasn’t sure he believed me. “I see… not great as in a few more years down, or…?” His eyes then darted over to the younger section of the crowd, before shooting back to me… almost like he was trying to hide what the true purpose of his question was. Seeing through it, but not wanting to hide the truth, I quickly sighed. Represented by their cup of a dog on its hind legs with a ball on its nose, the youngest group in here of the three ranged from 8 to about 11 or 12 years old. ‘8 years old… shit…’ Sadly, with my new diagnosis, even that seemed like a fantasy now. Still, I knew I had to tell him. “Other…” I gritted my teeth but then pushed through. “It… it’s under 6…” Few and stumbling simple words, but the expression on Oliver’s face said it all. “I…” To my mortification, he now unusually seemed at a loss for words. Being a social butterfly and uber confident in his previous life, he always had something to say. Now, I could see that my new diagnosis was hitting him like a ton of bricks. Sadly though, like he had been through this before, almost on its own, his body seemed to start going through the motions. First, his hand reached up and patted my shoulder warmly and gently. Next, he cocked his head to the side slightly and smiled pleasantly toward me. Last were his words… “I’m so sorry, Pete. Just take a breath and I’m sure everything will be okay. Just one step at a time and I know you… you’ll get through this.” It was practiced… almost to the point where I wanted to believe his words no matter what, but also to the point where emotion was starting to be stretched thin over each word. I had never asked about any of his friends other than me, but now, I was morbidly curious as to where they were. After all, in all the times I had gone to Simon’s with him, aside from a few women, I seemed to be his only friend. Still, I couldn’t think about that tonight. I wanted to drink… to forget about my worries. That was why Simon’s existed. A dark and bleak purpose or personal practice perhaps, but Simon’s was a way out for those that didn’t want to think about what they were losing. Or for people like Oliver, it was a place to relive their youth… a redo on the mistakes they felt like they had made the first time at these ages. So, I danced all through the night. Having to go to work once again in the morning, I knew I had to call it though. Oliver seemed a bit crestfallen over that, but he just gave me a hug. “Good luck, Pete. I know you’ll be okay.” Again, it was practiced like he had done all this before. Shuffling that off though, I got in the ride service I called and headed back home, all the while ignoring the occasional look from the ever-silent driver at the front. After that, things kind of just bumped along. I kept getting this odd sensation that I was somehow living a double life… my diagnosis posted online for all to see… if they looked. Apparently, no one really did, because a few days later, no one else still knew about my new prognosis. At least until that Thursday. The letter posted to my door, the phone call, and even the email I received all said the same thing. ‘Eviction Notice.’ It was so inhuman of my apartment complex, but after a series of fires and late-night parties in Buffalo where an AR eight-year-old nearly fell out of a four story up balcony, the law stepped in. Anyone diagnosed to bounce under the age of 13 or 14, depending on your state, would need to live with a caregiver. Most just got their significant others to step in to fill the role, but for those too prideful, single, or stubborn, other state services were provided… or family stepped in. With Molly still in Milan and then immediately accepting another photo offer in London, I had little choice in the matter now. “Which ones do you want to keep, sweetie?” my mom asked on Saturday. “And which ones do you want to just put in storage… for now?” I had screamed in anger on Thursday, called my parents on Friday, and now, my mom and dad were here packing up my old life. It was one of the most bitter pills I had to swallow yet, the prospect of having to move back in with my parents, but knowing I had no say in the matter, I had already mostly separated my things out neatly. “The ones in the plastic containers with lids go into storage,” I said, pointing to the left side of my living room, now stacked high of the same boxes. With no aches or pains, I had fully plunged myself into packing up yesterday. I started again this morning, and my and I parents finished the rest… now mostly just sheets and clothing. “The ones in the cardboard boxes come with me.” My mom quickly peered into the boxes and immediately seemed confused. “But why would you need your diploma with you and your new li…” “We’ll get right on it, bud,” my dad said, jumping in and nudging my mom to the side a little. To my mom, I suspected a degree for someone under six didn’t mean much. To my dad, who saw how hard I had worked to earn it, from our conversation this morning when he asked me if I was okay, he was right later assuming that such tokens from my past were now essentially buoys to my burdened psyche that I at least hadn’t lost everything in a single second overnight. Younger, yes, but I was still me and the knowledge I had already gained was still there. Regardless, with myself and my two youthened parents, the work of the elevator and a nearby parked car and moving truck, by the afternoon, my apartment just contained a few of the larger furniture items, like my bed, couch, and a few other bits. It was a little heated this morning in figuring out what to do with them but considering the regulation of being 14 to live on your own, the prospect of Molly taking me in at some point now being questionable at best, and the fact that one simply didn’t grow up at least eight years in any shortened span, it was decided to either donate or sell them. With these things now becoming terribly common in AR’s lives, a company specializing in this service had popped up. Soberly, by tomorrow afternoon, beyond a few holes from some picture hangers, a small carpet stain where Molly had spilled wine on our third date, and a few dimples on the carpet, it would be like I never lived here at all. Like the moving and selling company for the larger pieces of furniture, though, due to new regulations, my lease was voided, and I didn’t have to pay for the remainder of the time on my lease. So, by five that night, I turned in my key to the front office and left my apartment complex of three years in my parents’ van… never to return. That night, after a tempting meal of fast-food burgers and fries we picked up from on our way home, I leaned back in my bean bag chair from college in my old room and thought of the future… and the past. Seemingly coming full circle, I could only sigh as I remembered back to April when all this started. Now, I was back in the same room I had stayed in overnight when Marshall Law went into effect on Orange Day. Everything seemed terrifying that day… but still distant. With ARV becoming an everyday matter, it seemed the opposite… more normalized but also hauntingly closer to my life. Closing my eyes that night, I dreaded where I would be next April. It was strange not to have to drive over for Sunday night dinner but also nice not having to drive back as well. I was grateful to keep my car at least in all this mess and Amanda seemed pleased when she realized I was staying here more than just one afternoon at a time now, but I could sense that my presence was still awkward for everyone else. My dad didn’t seem to know the right words to say. My mom kept looking at me wistfully, almost like she was imagining me back when I was 17 the first time. And worst of all, Lucas… technically my ‘older brother’ now, was trying to do his best to be supportive of me. The sentiment was nice but having been the true eldest of the family for years, it felt more like the care of an older brother sympathizing with their younger brother. It didn’t help that he even used the same tone I did with him when we were growing up. Only back then, I tried to only use it when he was still a kid… like when he fell off his bike or couldn’t tie his shoes. Still, I had hope for easing back into my job the next day. I managed to get through a pretty solid stack of documents, and I was feeling accomplished... finally. Out of everything, I never expected my job to be the one constant I looked forward to in life, but not taking anything for granted right then, I just held on to the feeling for as long as I could. “I’m so sorry, Pete…” Todd said suddenly, almost waltzing by my desk and breaking my thoughts. Being so random of a statement without context, regardless of the sentiment, I looked back at him questioningly. “For being an AR?” Tood shook his head. “Then what are you even talking abou…?” “Pete?” I turned around to see Jeanette standing on the other side of my cubicle. “Can you come with me, please? We need to talk…” I didn’t know what she wanted, but turning pale, I knew from her saddened tone, it wasn’t anything good. Turning around back to Todd as I stood up, I remembered his expressed sympathies to me from less than a minute ago. As I followed Jeanette, I wondered how he knew… “Take a seat, Pete,” Jeanette instructed me. Sitting down as well, she sighed. “Pete… before anything else today, I just want to apologize again for the mix-up that was how your ARV status was handled by HR. I honestly don’t think they had a protocol at the time and that you received the brunt of that… misstep.” She seemed more guarded with her words today than usual. Normally, that only occurred when she felt a contract was under risk of being terminated of we would lose a bid for one, but this? This felt like the wind-up to something more… sinister… at least for lack of a better word. Despite that feeling, I wanted to show my thanks for her effort in at least apologizing to me. “That’s okay… Admittedly, it was a little tough, but I think everyone has gotten used to the fact that I got it as well now.” Immediately, Jeannette looked relieved. “I’m so glad that you feel that way.” Looking behind me, she then waved back toward herself. I was about to look at who she was gesturing to, but she quickly continued. At that point, I only heard the door open. “That being said… it has come to my attention that you have now received a new diagnosis…” ‘Shit.’ It was truly out in the open now. It was public before, but I held onto the hope of ignorance of others. With my apartment and now my job knowing, the list of those that didn’t know was dwindling rapidly. “Yes… I just found out about it…” Quickly, I saw Jeanette look a little uncomfortable. “But I still have my adult mind!” I didn’t mean to blurt it out like I did, but my outburst was undeniable. Unfortunately, Jeannette seemed a little taken aback by it. Trying to ease myself down and not regret everything in life, I saw her eyes flick over to my left. Looking there as well, I saw Rozz… the initial person from HR who I told about my ARV status. “Hello, Peter.” “Rozz…” I nodded to her, but with her presence, I almost instantaneously felt a cramp in my stomach. “What… what are you doing here?” I turned back to Jeannette in a panic. “Did I do something wrong?” She was about to speak up, but Rozz swooped in and took the majority of my field of vision up, now partially obscuring my view of Jeannette. “Not at all, Peter. You’ve done very well at this company. But your ARV diagnosis makes your current employment here… a liability.” “A liability?” I tried to look at Jeanette for any sense of hope of answers, but Rozz was clearly running this meeting now. “Yes,” she replied, her tone clinical, despite her otherwise friendly appearance. “Speaking to the heads of departments, our shareholders, and our board of directors… we feel that ARs diagnosed under the age of 13 pose a potential problem to serving our needs. There are reputedly several potential problems below that age, and the company feels the risk isn’t worth it… at least until a test can be performed.” “A test?” I remembered hearing about one before, but with my job now seemingly on the line, I didn’t want there to be any gaps or miscommunications. Rozz nodded. “That’s right. I believe most just simply know it as a maturity test, though I find that a little crude… it basically just tests your general mental functions. Once you’ve bounced, simply take it and inform me directly.” She then handed me the thick, red-colored folder labeled ‘ARV Leave.’ “This will tell you all you need to know… payments, insurance, how to come back… all of it.” Distressingly, I had seen a packet like this before. A few changes in direction to my last company and half the staff was deemed ‘replaceable,’ so we all got ‘laid off.’ Tantamount to being fired at that place, the packet in my hands now felt all too familiar. “So… I’m fired?” “Oh no, Pete,” Jeanette said quickly, jumping over a slightly perturbed looking Rozz. “This is just a temporary leave. Pass your tests and…” “And we will welcome you back with open arms,” Rozz butted back in. Jeannette didn’t seem to appreciate the policy or Rozz very much, but I knew how the company worked. If the heads of departments, the board of directors, our shareholders, and now HR had signed off on the policy, there was simply nothing she could do about it. “So, relax. Take the time off to breathe and just take in all that’s happening. Get better and then come back… after your test.” I didn’t have much to say after that, feeling numb from it all. Between Jeannette’s silence and Rozz’s almost clinical approach, I wasn’t feeling very good about any of this. Placing so much emphasis on the test being such a crucial component, it quickly made me weak at the knees just thinking about it. After all, if I had to list out all the planets or do calculus again… I wasn’t sure of my odds at passing it. ‘I mean… how often does anyone not in a science or math field use calculus in their daily lives?’ Still, back at my desk, everything was pretty easy to pack up. The office being what it was, everyone soon knew about my leave. It was all smiles of sympathy or comfort… except Todd. The weasel rumor mill of the office just seemed proud of himself. I didn’t have any proof, but as I left my office with all my stuff… sans my work-provided laptop, I had a sneaking suspicion that he was the one who ratted me out to HR or Jeanette… both times. But what’s done was done. No matter how much I wanted to hit Todd, I didn’t want to give Jeanette or Rozz a reason not to take me back. Hitting him now would likely just get me in trouble and prove to everyone that even my mind and maturity were slipping. So, resolved, I just got in my car, and coming back home, I told my mom straight away. At this point, there was no reason I had to keep any of this stuff a secret. Being a little more understanding about these sorts of things, I wished I was telling my dad first, but he was still at work. So, looking after Molly when she wasn’t at pre-school and working from home managing a website for a flower company, my mom offered as much comfort as she could. To be blunt, I loved my mom… I really did, but her advice wasn’t much. I hugged her like a good son but then beat a hasty retreat back to my room. Still, later that afternoon and all alone in my room with a locked door, I thought about what she said. For now, I could only pray that in an ideal world and that I passed my ‘maturity’ test, I could now use my extra years and time to improve my skills. Reading up on it to at least give me some semblance of hope, I found that already, many ARs had gone back to college or had taken nightly or online classes to improve their skills. For those initially hit and who had already passed their tests, employers seemed eager to snatch those types of employees up as they were considered ideal candidates for job placement. Young and fresh from an education of sorts but also containing the years of maturity and experience of a more senior employee. With everyone complaining about the job market, it seemed like a perfect match. For today though, as soon as I closed my laptop, I could only hug my pillow as the reality of it all started to sink in and cloud my previous optimism. Despite all my research, the best I could find was an eight-year-old AR going back to his job on wall street. Eight… not even six. With my diagnosis under six, I knew I could only wait and hope that somehow, maybe I would be the exception and try to go back to how things used to be. The next few days… were a little rough to say the least. Even not shaving for a few days and wandering around in a stupor, nothing felt real. I felt cast off from the rest of the world, and worse, my parents now imposed a ‘weekends only policy in going to Simon’s. I tried reaching out to Oliver… even thinking of sneaking out my window and getting him to pick me up on another street so my parents wouldn’t be alerted to me starting my car late at night… but he wasn’t answering me back. I tried not to think about it, or at least give him the benefit of the doubt, but as Friday rolled around, I still hadn’t received one reply back yet. “Alright, mister,” my mom said briskly, dropping a backpack in front of me. “This has gone on long enough.” “What are you talking about?” I asked, confused as to why she was lashing out at me today. Her eyes then narrowly focused on me. “Listen, Pete. I love you, and I even gave you a little space and time to take all this in, but if you think you’re going to be lounging around forever until you bounce… you’ve got another thing coming. Understand?” I groaned and rolled my eyes for a second. “Yeah…” “And no attitude either.” Her words were biting, and I felt all my younger age once more. She was a great person, but to me and Lucas, we always felt like she ventured a little too far into dictator territory when either of us weren’t doing what she wanted… or at least when she thought we weren’t ‘living up to our full potential,’ as she used to like to say. “Fine…” I just wanted the argument to end, but as soon as I turned away, she stopped me once more by blocking my path out of the room. “Didn’t you hear me before?” I didn’t answer and she sighed. “Pete… I’m not going to let you just sit around here. So…” I then saw her eyes dart to the clock. “Okay… how about this? You either go out on your own and get some fresh air or you come with me for some errands and then we pick up Amanda before her playdate. Which will it be?” I loved my sister… but errands and then sitting around for a playdate seemed the worst possible choice for me right now. Seeing the backpack my mom had slumped on the chair earlier, I quickly noticed it was the one I mainly used to go hiking. “Fine. Sheesh! I’ll go hiking, okay?” My mom knowingly smiled, almost as if she had set all this up. “Good. Just be back before dark, okay?” “Yes, yes…” My patience was running thin, and it was coming out in my tone of voice. Fortunately, my mom then left me alone to get dressed a little more warmly, done my hiking boots, and then raced out to my car. Annoyingly, as my mom predicted, five minutes into my drive, I was already feeling better. Already getting late in the day, I decided to go for one of the more strenuous, but also shorter treks up the nearby mountains. Alternatively, my favorite was called the south green trail winder. It wound around about midway up on the mountain with a series of switchbacks and wove itself through a massive pine forest… hence the name. My favorite part though was that due to the switchbacks and a portion of the trail uncovered, it gave one a beautiful view of the surrounding landscape. Stretching for miles, even on a winter day like today when most of the trees had lost their leaves and everything was a little gray already, the view was still spectacular. Today, however, I chose the white bear trail. Starting higher up on the mountain, it meant it was shorter, which worked for the amount of limited daylight I had left, but it still gave one a great view at the top. Being winter though, most of the trail was at least going to be flanked by mounds of snow and ice. Beautiful, but several warning signs cautioned against both night hikes and going up without checking the weather first. Still, I soon parked at the base of the trail, did a few stretches, locked my car, and then set off on the trail beyond the parking lot there. As predicted, like some scene pulled from one of my sister’s snowy storybooks about some magical being or whatever, snow littered most of the area around me. It meant a few slips here and there, but the grind to the top was worth it. Going up, I also met a few people, but in less than two hours, I made it to the peak. Almost fully enclosed in snow, my youthful and heat-producing younger body felt more alive than it had in years. Between my job, dating, and just the general business of life, my hiking habits had fallen off slightly. Now, at the top of the mountain, I couldn’t help but shout out a little in triumph. “Woo hoo! Made it to the top, ‘ma!” I giggled a bit at my silly antics up there. Fortunately, being practically painted purely by snow and wintry weather this time of year, no one was around to hear my echoing yell of triumph as it bounced off the rest of the peaks. For the briefest of moments, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Even with my fingers prickling with the cold air swirling around them, I felt a tiny burst of joy in my heart. Everything else waited for me down the mountain… but up here, even if it was for a single moment in my day, I felt like the king of everything. In the distance though, in my triumph, I saw the sun was well on its way past its zenith overhead. Using my hand to measure the time as a bit of a force of habit from a technique my dad taught me when I was younger, I realized that I had to turn back quickly. Grimacing, if I was at all accurate, I realized that if I was lucky, I would just be getting home as the sun set behind the mountains. Living with my parents now and not wanting to tread on the freedom they were giving me, I sprinted away as fast as I could. Nearly jumping down the mountain, I finally saw my car where I had parked it. Getting back to it, I quickly knocked off the snow and a few bits of gravel and mud from my boots and hauled myself inside before revving the engine to life. Checking the time and then my GPS, I knew I was going to be cutting it tight getting home tonight. Speeding along, I was hyper focused on both my GPS and the time. I wasn’t even looking at the speedometer at one point. In fact, I was so focused on the ETA at the bottom of my digital map that I just noticed the light turning yellow. Worried about getting home and not wanting to wait, I barreled through the traffic light. With maybe half a second left, I made it to the other side before the light turned red. “Haha!” I yelled in triumph once again. “Made it sucker! That light has nothing on me! I’m the king, baby!” I felt a rush of my teenaged hormones shoot through my veins. I felt invincible and quickly flipped on my radio, listening to the local rock station. “Yeah! Turn it up! Louder, baby!” the music blared in my car, threatening to shatter glass and my eardrums, but I didn’t care. I was undefeatable. I was mighty. I was the best ever and I was going to do everything right this time around… A siren then went off to my rear. My heart then froze as I looked behind me. I saw the red and blue flashing lights and quickly smacked off my music. “Shit, shit, shit!” I wondered if the cop car was for me or someone else, but with the sunset blazing in the sky, the roads were almost empty. Seconds later, I knew the truth. The cop was telling me to pull over. “Shit!” Seconds later, I had pulled to the side of the road. Minutes after that, I saw the uniformed officer get out of his car and begin to approach mine. Looking at my GPS, I knew for sure now that I was both in trouble with the law and now, beyond the time I needed to be back. I was most definitely screwed. Knocking on my window, the mid-40s officer gestured for me to roll my window down, looking at me sternly. “License and registration please… and proof of insurance.” My heart was already pounding and with trembling fingers, I pointed over to my glovebox that held my registration. Pulling it out, I then retrieved my license and insurance and showed it to the police officer as calmly as I could. Unfortunately, I nearly dropped them with my hands and fingers shaking so much. The officer didn’t say anything at first, but holding the three items, almost instantly, he sighed. “Sir, do you have any idea why I pulled you over tonight?” I wasn’t sure exactly why, but I knew it had to be because of my speed or that somehow, I didn’t see the traffic lights right and had blown through it illegally. “Y… yes, officer.” “Well… that’s something I guess…” He then looked back down at my ID. “You were going 68 mph on a road that’s supposed to be 45 mph. That’s reckless driving…” I swallowed hard at hearing that. Reckless driving was a serious offense in this area, with the mayor cracking down on those drivers since his first term in office, and even before when he was just a state representative. “I…” I tried to say something… anything, but my words just refused to come out. The officer, once such a imposing cut of a figure, then looked into my car and at me, and sympathy swam to his eyes as he returned the documents I had just given him. I took them, but I was still confused, and I think he saw that. “You’re an AR. I’m assuming all this is new to you… correct?” I nodded. “Y… yes, s… sir. Found out last week of a new diagnosis.” “I thought as much.” Adjusting his belt, his eyes suddenly looked pained. “A lot of my friends got whacked hard on Orange Day. Serving and protecting everyone downtown… a lot of them lost so many years.” “You weren’t there?” I questioned. I had a sneaking suspicion, especially with his seeming sympathy to me that he hadn’t managed to escape the mist either, but considering he wasn’t a baby, I knew there had to be more to it than that. Confirming my suspicions, he shook his head. “No. I was on the highway that day. Big accident and all.” Thinking back, I quickly remembered that was the reason I went downtown in the first place that day. “All the explosions went off and I got hit. My partner did too. We both lost 20 years.” He deeply sighed. “I was about to retire and go fishing. Can’t say I’m too happy about postponing those plans, but considering my old partner is currently in Linfield… I feel I got the better end of the deal.” “Linfield?” I felt like I had heard that name before, but I couldn’t quite place it. Based on the cop’s expression alone, it didn’t seem like the best place to be though. “Yeah… it’s one of the institutes around here the government set up for younger ARs. Caters to a lot of ages that way…” The cop then faded off and shook his head. “Anyways… I just… I can understand your situation is all.” He paused but I could tell there was more he had to say. “But I also need to protect the public. Law says that as an AR with reckless driving, I take your license, give you a big ticket here, and impound your car.” I think my soul died a little on the spot. “But as I said,” he quickly continued, clearly trying to be reassuring in all this, “I understand what you’re going through. So, instead, I want to give you a warning on one condition…” He paused and then squinted at me. “Have you started living with a caregiver yet?” I felt the shame of living with my parents once again, like I was somehow not affected by a major virus and was still 28. Still though, I knew I couldn’t just dodge his question. “I have… my parents…” “Good. Very good,” he said, a little relief spreading over his face like he needed me to confirm that for his deal to work. “So, here’s what I propose… I’ll give you just a warning today, but you need to call one of your parents… or your home, and I need to talk to them as well. Deal?” I didn’t want to make that deal… but the alternative was so much worse. I was sunk either way, especially with the sun now fully dipped beyond the horizon. So, not seeing much other choice, I reached for my phone. “The warning… I’ll take the warning…” “Good. Now, call one of them or your home now.” I hesitated for a moment as I looked down at my phone. “I can wait…” My fingers still trembling, I searched through my contacts and debated whether I should tell my mom or dad. As both would be home by now, I decided to essentially give myself an equal shot at both by calling my home. “Hello? Where are you, Pete?” It was my mom. I wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not at this point. “Mom… I…” The cop looked back at me and I sighed. “I got pulled over…” “What?” she nearly screeched. I could already hear my dad in the background asking what was wrong. “What did you do? Are you hurt? Did you wreck? Are you…?” “Mom!” I knew she was spiraling at the mere thought of a possibility of me now being dragged away in cuffs or something. “Please… I have an officer here now. He’s making a deal for this just to be a warning, but… he wants to talk to my… caregiver.” “What? He does? I…” She then trailed off for a second, and I could already hear her relaying part of the message to my dad. “Okay… put them on.” Grimacing, I then handed the cop my phone. “Here… it’s my mom…” Nodding, he took the phone and walked off just out of my earshot. Not long after, he handed the phone back to me and I listened in. “Hang up now. Just come straight home. Do not go anywhere else, Peter. I mean it.” Gulping, I knew something was going to come of this. “Stay safe, and we’ll see you soon.” The phone then clicked off. “Okay. Deals a deal, Pete,” the cop said back to me. “Take a second to breath and then drive safe and straight home. When you get there, take another breath and try and calm down. Trust me… you’ll thank me later.” He almost walked away but then turned back to me. “Oh, and Pete? Keep it under the speed limit, and… good luck.” “T… thank you, o… officer.” He smiled and then went back to his car. As soon as he was inside, I calmly drove off, eyeing the speedometer of my car almost a little too much, honestly. Still, not long after, I pulled in the driveway. Coming inside, I hung up my coat and removed my hiking boots, still damp from the snow and mud from the mountain. Barely making it into the kitchen, I saw my dad finishing the last of the dinner preparation and helping Amanda with a light snack before dinner later. Seeing me, he looked at me with both concern and frustration. “Pete… I…” He sighed. “Your mom is waiting for you upstairs. Whatever she says, I’m on board with as well.” There was a finality to his statement and hearing it before, I knew that they had already talked and agreed on a strategy for how to deal with all this going forward. So, trudging up the stairs, each one feeling like a weight had been attached to the underside of my foot, I made it to the top. This scene felt too real… walking slowly to her office for summary judgement of my crimes. I was shaking like a leaf, but still, entering her home office, I knocked on her open door. “Mom?” She looked up from her computer where she had also been furiously scribbling out a few notes on a nearby legal pad of paper. Standing up, she stuck her arm out. “Keys.” There was no hesitation or sign of regret in her voice. Still, I had already hung them up downstairs on the rack that contained the rest of the family’s car keys. “They’re downstairs…” “Oh… good,” she said, almost like she was trying to convince herself of that. “Makes my point up here a little less enforced, but it’ll be easier to take them away.” “Take them away?” I didn’t have to ask the question. I knew what she meant, but there was still a tiny spark deep within me somewhere that was just hoping and praying that I was very wrong. “Yes, Pete,” my mom said, her gaze unshifting away from me now. “As of today, your dad and I are revoking your privilege to drive anymore. For now, if one of us is in the car, we will allow you then but going forward… considered yourself benched.” It was yet another hammer blow to my ego, each one whacking me further into the horrid muck of ARV. I knew this was coming eventually… just not this soon. “But…” “No buts, mister,” she said sternly, even going as far as to slice her hand through the air to make her point more clearly. “You got pulled over for reckless driving tonight and it was only by the good will of that cop that all this wasn’t worse.” Her rigid and uncompromising face then began to soften slightly. “I mean… with your diagnosis, you had to know this was coming. And I hate to say this, but you are going to lose things in this process. What’s more, it’s going to be more than just a car. Which is why…” she then turned her monitor around, “your dad and I have agreed to enroll you in Linfield Institute starting next Monday. I quickly flashed to what the cop had told me about his former partner. I would have done anything or gone anywhere else but that place. “But mom!” “No, Pete,” she said, her voice full of remorse for doing this, but a resolution as well that told me that this decision was final. “I’m very sorry about all this… I really am, but we need to face the facts. As it stands today, we know you’re dipping under the age of six. That could mean a lot of things, but if you ever want to get back to who you were… you need to go to at least one of these new institutes. Linfield is the closest.” “I…” Again, for the second time tonight, I was at a loss for words. Instead, I just turned and left the room. I could hear my mom call after me, but considering she only called my name once, I knew she gave it up and just let me go. In my room, determined to leave though, I texted Oliver to pick me up tonight. I didn’t get a reply back. An hour later, though, I reemerged for dinner. It was painfully quiet, with only Amanda really making any noises. So, as soon as I had finished my peas and swallowed the last of my milk, I wanted to be excused. “Can I go now?” From her expression, I could see that my mom wanted to use the moment to confront me, but my dad was a little too quick for her. “Yes, Pete. You can be excused. Just take your dishes into the sink, okay?” I nodded and left. Picking up my plate, I could see my dad give my mom a look I had seen before. Usually, it was telling her not to push things with us kids and to just let things breathe for a second. Regardless, I took the little bit of leeway my dad was giving me and ran up the stairs to my room. Locking the door once more, I pace for a few minutes… desperately trying to clear my head. It wasn’t working… Everything was falling apart. No job, no car, possibly no girlfriend anymore, a diagnosis under six, living with my parents, and maybe even no friends anymore. I tried reaching out to a few of my old buddies, but others getting ARV or those who managed to escape now ghosting me essentially over my own ARV, I was virtually alone in the world and facing these problems like a mouse trying to confront a freight train. Simply put, I was getting a bad feeling that no matter what now, somehow, this wasn’t going to end pretty. Speaking of friends… I checked my phone once more after a few more paces. I had felt it buzz during dinner, and I knew I was going to need a clear head to respond to Oliver’s reply. Either I needed to be clear headed about what the plan was going to be, or I needed to be clearheaded to ensure that I wouldn’t snap suddenly if he rejected me… losing yet another thing in my new life with ARV. So, popping my phone on, I took a breath and opened my messages to read what Oliver had put. I readied myself to tell him to park a few blocks away so that my parents wouldn’t hear a car in front of the house… the same reason I wasn’t using a ride share or whatnot tonight. Unfortunately, peering at his message… it wasn’t the good news I was hoping for. “Pete… sorry its taken a second to respond back to you, but I’m going to have to decline tonight. Get things settled on your front and then maybe we can talk after. O” Few words but they told me everything I needed to know about our friendship. Like two ships passing each other on a stormy sea it seemed now, he had shared his knowledge and friendship with me while I had provided him with the temporary company he needed. Now that I was deemed as going to be too young, I doubted that we would see each other much more now. I might have been jumping the gun a little bit, but tonight, it just felt like another loss. Linfield Institute… The name rang in my head as I sat on my bed, feeling isolated and alone from everyone and everything I had known in my life. Even those that stuck around were treating me differently, but Linfield… Maybe I was just trying to cling onto anything I could… the tiniest piece of scrap of hope, but it felt like a new opportunity and my salvation... regardless of the circumstances of my new company. So, I decided to research the living stuffing out of it. Over the new thirty minutes, if it was on the internet and talking about Linfield, I found it. Right as I was going through the apparent level they offered though; I heard a knock at my locked door. Curious if it was my mom coming to apologize to me or offering comfort in some way, I nearly wanted to ignore it. Going so soon to Linfield, I felt my priorities had to be to focus on that place and what lay in store for my foreseeable future… but when I heard a second knock, this one much weaker, I knew I had to investigate. Walking over and opening the door, I first didn’t see anyone… until I looked down. “Amanda?” I asked, surprised to see her still up. “Is everything okay?” She looked up at me with her big dollish eyes. “Awe you?” she asked sleepily. I blinked one or two times at her, not even believing what I was hearing. I was so used to my younger sister going through life on a whim, that I hadn’t even considered her growing up… or at least becoming more aware of the world around her. It was a good thing for sure, but now… I realized that she could likely feel the tension between my parents and I at the dinner table earlier. “I…” I wanted to lie to her… to tell her that everything was okay, but I knew that was a bold-faced lie. I lied to her occasionally, mostly as a way to protect her from certain truths about the world… like if magic existed or that unicorns were really just in hiding, but this time felt differently. Her newfound lack of ignorance combined with my continued regression felt like a disaster waiting to happen once she realized I had lied to her. So, I switched tactics. “I just had a hard day, Amanda. It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” Amanda, all 40 inches of her little body stood there silently. Her eyes flicked about my taller frame and blinked a few times, almost as if she was trying to filter out a new image of me somehow. “Why?” No hesitation or recoil. She was the curious type, so I knew I should have expected it, but hearing it out loud felt different somehow. I wanted to play dumb, but I knew hard times were coming for the family. I was losing more each day and none of that seemed like it was going to be easy in the slightest. Someone like Amanda, despite her young age, still felt like a person I didn’t want to have as an enemy… especially considering her age. In a few months, I knew she would be turning five. Unless I was extremely lucky, I knew I very well could be the same age as her. I shuddered at the mere thought… but I knew things could also be very much worse than even that. This fact, above almost all others, poisoned my soul even more. “Remember when mommy and daddy got younger?” She thought for a moment at my surrendered question, and then nodded. “Well,” I said with a sharp inhale to prepare myself, “I have what they had too.” “You do?” she asked, her curiosity not backing down for even a second. I nodded and sighed. “I do. Unlike mommy and daddy though, I’m going to get younger. Much younger…” Once again, Molly seemed to be contemplating the universe. I think I would have paid good money to know what was swirling inside her head, but with concerned but maybe even slightly excited eyes, she looked back at me. “Younguh… like me?” It felt like an arrow to my heart. I wanted to tell her no flat out… but I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie to her about any of this. If she was going to be my equal… and that was a good scenario in all this now, I knew I couldn’t alienate her starting now… no matter how much it hurt. “Yes, Amanda. Maybe like you.” Staring at her bunny slippers for a second, I could tell she was close to getting ready for bed. Feeling overly tired myself, I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer either. Still, Amanda finally spoke back up and even took a step closer to me. “You know…when I have a weal bad day… mommy gives me a hug, an’ evewyfing feel bettuh.” She then paused again and looked at me with eyes full of hope and sympathy. “Do you need a hug, Petey?” I wanted to say no to her. She was my younger sister, and I wasn’t opposed to receiving family hugs… but there was something about the way she put it that put me at unease. Mom gave her hugs to feel better, and maybe it was just my imagination playing, but if she hugged me, by the transitive property… she would be my superior in his case. It felt paranoid, but also that there was a single ounce of truth in it. Still, Amanda seemed itching to give me a hug. Telling her no now would have just upset her feelings. Weighing the options, at the end of the day, my pride and paranoia felt small compared to a kind gesture that she almost seemed to want or need… I couldn’t tell, as well. So, I opened my arms. Needing no further prompting, she ran over to me at my computer desk and launched right into me. Gasping for air for a second, I pulled her up in the air and gave her a tremendous hug. She giggled slightly as her feet dangled in the air and I spun around my chair, and to be honest for a moment at least, nothing else seemed to matter. It was a simple gesture and one I had to admit I needed after today. It was such a small thing, but as her small form wrapped around me, and she whispered. “I love you, big bro…” I couldn’t help but feel a little warmth in my heart. Like only something a child could give you on your worst days, her gift was free but potent. I sighed and smiled. “I love you too, sis.” Unfortunately, my computer dinged, and I looked up to see that it was just an added feature into the website of a ringing old fashioned school bell. ‘Nice touch…’ But my eyes also wandered over and saw the tab I had opened last… section three, otherwise known as the daycare building. I didn’t like it, but I knew as I hugged Amanda a little closer for my own needed comfort, I had no choice either. Come Monday, I was going to attend Linfield… something that remained to be seen if that was a good or bad thing. For now, I knew only time would tell…

Chapter 5: Promise Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Silence. The only thing making any noise right now was that other guy… ‘Ollie’. He was sleeping soundly enough, barely making a noise, but due to the deafening silence… that’s all I could hear and focus on. He looked so peaceful. So… happy? Just sleeping there… sucking on his dummy… His jet black hair was tucked behind his ear, showing his rather youthful face. Gotta say, he looked almost… cute? Would… would I be that cute? Wait, what am I saying, I’m already dressed just like him. So… Do I look as cute as he does? I’d probably say no, but I’m not exactly unbiased when it comes to my own appearance. I still believe I’m the ugliest creature ever created, despite how many people say how cute I am. Looking around the room, trying to distract myself from that question, I took in this very infantile room. This… nursery… was ours, I guess? We’d be sleeping here… playing here… being changed… oh god… I actually have to use these nappies? From the stacks of spare ones underneath the large wooden changing table… I’m going to assume I will have to eventually, though from the weight of mine… I’ve got a feeling I must have already done so during my sleep, probably because of the sleep meds they gave me. I… wet… a nappy… my nappy… Now, I’m guessing most people would be freaking out right about now. And I’m not talking about the whole ‘kidnapped and reraised into better people’ thing. I think just the act of wetting your nappy, even consciously… would send most people into a panic. I… just didn’t care at this point. It was either this… or I’d be in a casket six feet under the ground. And with the promise that I’ll get better after this, as fucked up as this is, I mean can you blame me for wanting to give it a go? If it doesn’t work… I’ve got free room and free food. And I’m having everything taken care of for me for the first time since my Mum was alive. Sure, the requirements to get all that are a bit… unusual… but hey… I’m not exactly hating the feeling of this wet nappy between my legs right now. Ask me again later when I need to go number two though. Maybe I’ll think differently. Then just as I was prodding my already soaked nappy, trying to get used to this weird, but slightly pleasant feeling… the door opened. And it wasn’t Ceres. “Good evening, Noah,” she said. “Umm… hi?” I replied, nervously, as the woman walked over and sat down in Ceres’ place. Her whole demeanour was very different to Ceres. She seemed a lot more… official, if that’s the right word? She looked like she was more upper management than one of the ones on the floor. But the thing about her… is whilst she wore a gorgeous black fitted suit, which hugged her curves perfectly and matched her black heels… She also wore a veil that was attached to a small feminine hat, which obscured her face and hair. Which to me was a little weird and a little scary. She was clearly hiding something. “I’m Miss Fraus,” she said, with her voice just oozing confidence. She had clearly worked on it for years to get it sounding so demanding and dominant. “Not ‘Nanny’?” I asked. “No, Noah. Miss. I’m on the board for Elysium.” “Elysium? I heard Joy talking about Elysium. Is that what this place is called?” “Yes, it is.” ”You’re also avoiding the cute little pet names like Ceres does, I’ve noticed…” “Yes, I am.” “And why is that?” “Because, Noah, I’m going to be honest with you. I’m going to treat you like an adult, because honestly… you shouldn’t have been brought here in the first place.” “That’s not what Ceres said.” “And Ceres got a stern talking to, believe me. But… she also wasn’t wrong.” “Okay, now you’ve got me a little confused. Am I supposed to be here or not? Will you kick me out? Wipe my mind with some fancy little device?” “Ceres did something she shouldn’t have. But for the right reasons. And after going through your history, your medical records, and watching you with her…” “Watching me?” She pointed up, above her head, without even turning around. And my heart nearly stopped beating at the tiny little black dot in the corner of the nursery. “We watch everywhere. If you want to stay, you will have to get used to it. You will also not divulge this information, or any information I give to you to any other resident here. Okay?” “I…” “I said, okay? Because otherwise… I will wipe your mind and leave you somewhere with only your name and the clothes on your back.” I couldn’t tell if she was joking or if she was being serious. Her voice made it sound like she was serious, and I couldn’t see her face still, it was still being obscured by the veil. “I… okay,” I replied, nervously. “You… are getting information no other new starter would get.” “Aren’t you scared Ollie will wake up and hear?” “Ollie won’t be waking up until morning, trust me.” “I… okay.” “You know what this place is. We heard your conversation with Ceres. And we genuinely believe… This institute can help you. I believe Ceres can help you. But due to your… circumstances… I am bending the rules for the first time ever… and giving you enough information as to allow you to give consent to our treatment.” “What about the others? Do they not get to consent?” “Some of the others have earned criminal records. The others can be violent. The others would choose to leave in a heartbeat if they were given the opportunity… and they would get worse out there in the world. So we keep them here. Against their will, yes. Because we would be doing a disservice if we allowed such behaviour to continue, when we have the power to stop it. Now trust me, we don’t take in people we believe we can’t save. Extremely violent ones, rapists, murderers, those kinds of people aren’t considered for our treatment.” “What about Ollie? So he can’t leave? What did he do that earned himself three years in a nursery? Didn’t he just get drunk or something?” “Ollie… had a bit of an issue with drinking. He wasn’t an alcoholic, but when he’s drunk he gets a little… problematic, to put it nicely. I don’t share others' pasts. At some point though, they will need to look back at what they have done and learn from it. Learn to be better. And our regression therapy will help them become better people.” “So… Ollie just doesn’t drink and voila! Problem solved. No need for regression or kidnapping him.” “Hun… if it was that easy we wouldn’t be here. Ollie’s friends tried to help. But one too many times… he got involved with the police. And now he’s facing criminal charges for one drunken mistake. We saved him from prison time and once he’s finished his three years here, he’ll be free to be a new man, and won’t want to drink again.” “So it’s basically one prison for another…”I sighed, rolling my eyes at this ‘Miss Fraus’. “I’d like to think we’re infinitely better than a prison. We like to… nurture… our residents.” I could almost hear the smile behind the veil. The one I couldn’t see… but knew was there. “Right. So. You take people, illegally, and treat them like babies. Then you let them go. What’s your success rate?” “One hundred percent.” Bullshit. No treatment has a one hundred percent success rate. …Right? “And how long have you been going?” “You’re our fourth year now.” “So three years of one hundred percent… wow. And why do you think this will work on me and my issues? I don’t have issues with the law, I have a… kinda steady job… I have… had a girlfriend. I just…” “Sweetie…” There’s the softness I knew was there. No one could run a place like this without having some kindness in their heart. Unless they were all lying through their teeth and this was going to be actual torture… “Yes?” “You tried to walk off a bridge last night. You need help. And the NHS is not helping. No one is. You’re alone. You have been since-” “Don’t,” I warned her, sternly. “See. You need help. And I genuinely believe we can help. So as Ceres promised… three months. If in three months you feel like we aren’t helping, like this isn’t working… you may leave. Provided you sign some NDA’s… of course. You give me three months, and don’t tell anyone about our little conversation or what you know about this place already… and if you don’t want to stay by the time it reaches Christmas, you can leave.” I didn’t know if I could trust this woman. Who says she’ll actually let me leave in three months if that’s what I want? Who says she won’t keep me here the full three years against my will? “But…” she continued, “If you choose to stay at that point, you will stay for the full duration, okay?” “Okay… couple more questions.” “Okay sweetie, but then that’s it.” “So we get treated like babies. We have to… use… umm…” “You will have to wet and mess your nappies, yes. Though it’s clear you’re already used to and accepting the former.” “I… look… I was expecting worse…” I replied, blushing a little, my cheeks burning up. “You took it surprisingly well, I must admit. Usually the others are screaming and shouting and threatening us.” “Will… Ollie be like that?” “Maybe? He doesn’t react well to things out of his control. So I was going to ask… could you help him?” “Ha… wait, what? You want me to betray the guy I may be sharing a room with for three years? To manipulate him into being a ‘good little boy’?” “Yes.” “Wow… not even going to sugarcoat it, eh?” “Nope. You don’t have to, of course, but then you’ll be stuck with a very awkward roommate, one who may end up gagged and tied into his crib. Not much conversation at that point.” “I… will try to be there for him. That’s all though. I’m not pushing him to do anything he doesn’t want to do.” “I knew you’d say that. Like I said, you’re not supposed to be here, Noah. You’re too good of a person to need a place here. It’s other people who have let you down and betrayed you that have caused you to be here. So yes, that’s fine. Ollie is a good lad… but he needs a bit of guidance. Ceres can only do so much. And if you’re a good influence… Maybe he’ll be good too. Right, is that everything?” “I…” I wanted to ask about something. But… Now was not the right time. I was still a bit shaken from being kidnapped and told I’m going to spend at least three months as an adult baby… to come out and say what I wanted to say… would be too much. “No. I think that’s it. Could… and I know this is silly. Because you could just lie, you could manipulate me, and I’m not in any position to argue. You don’t even have to let me go, you could keep me here forever… but could you please promise me something?” “Promise you what, sweetheart?” “Promise me… this will help me. Promise me and I will sign anywhere you need to sign. It’s not like I have any other options outside going back to that bridge. I’m willing to give anything a shot. Even if it’s as ridiculous as wearing a nappy and shitting myself.” “Language…” she warned me, sternly. “Sorry. Just… please? I need it.” Miss Fraus stood up, walked over to the crib, bent over the rails, cupped my face with her hand, and whispered to me softly. “I will personally make sure of it, sweetheart.” ------------------------------- After she had left, the tingles in my body still stuck around for a minute or so, long enough for Ceres to walk back in. “Now sweetie, do you think you can go back to sleep now? It’s late for you, and you’ve got a busy tomorrow,” Ceres said, in her soft Scottish accent. “It is?” I couldn’t tell the time, the lack of windows made it difficult to tell what time it was. And with the enforced sleep I had earlier from the Doc… my body clock was all messed up. “What… are we doing? If you can tell me of course…” I asked. “You spend the first week in here. It’s all about you adapting to being a baby again, and allowing me to take care of you. You’ll get used to your new diet, your lack of walking, being changed, being nursed, all that fun stuff. It’s also the time for you to get to know Ollie, as you should only ever see me and him in the first week. You shouldn’t see Miss Fraus again for a while, if ever.” “What about after the first week?” “Next week you’ll be allowed into the playroom, though only on the boys side.” This made my stomach churn. I did not like the sound of that. I was hoping I’d be able to go hang out with the girls straight away… but it’s looking like it’ll be a while before that happens. “You’ll make friends with the other boys…” she said, not noticing me shivering with disgust as she said ‘other’, “... and then eventually you’ll merge with the girl’s side in the middle playroom, though that’s around the one month mark, depending on progress made on both sides.” “So the girls… and the boys… are split?” “Yes hun. The girls' nurseries are on the other side of the basement. It gives them a bit of space from the boys, so they feel safer.” ‘What about me? Why do I have to feel unsafe?’ I thought to myself as she just smiled at me, hovering above me, leaning on the crib rail. But of course I couldn’t tell her that. I can’t tell her why I don’t want to be here, with Ollie… with the boys… “You okay, baby?” she asked, sounding concerned. “Yeah…” I sighed. “You sure?” “I’m fine,” I replied, smiling at her, putting my best fake smile on. The one I’m used to at this point. “Well let’s get you tucked in. I won’t read you a bedtime story tonight, as you’re supposed to be asleep like Ollie.” She quickly lowered the crib rail so she could tuck me in properly, even going as far as tucking my covers under me… …Just like Mum used to… “Noah?” she said, looking me in the eye as she raised the crib rail now that I was all snuggly. “Yes… Nanny?” “I’m glad you decided to stay. And that you’re willing to give this a shot.” Her smile… her voice… I genuinely believed she was happy for me right now. And that alone… that was going to give me the drive to at least see these next three months through. She left quietly, turning the already dim lights completely off, before closing and locking the door behind me. I felt so peaceful, so comfy… And then I realised I hadn’t been changed yet. I was going to have to wait until morning to get out of this soggy nappy. God I hope it doesn’t give me a rash or anything. Surely they wouldn’t let that happen? Shrugging, I lay my head back, closed my eyes… and it was at that moment that my brain replayed a little snippet from our conversations tonight. ‘What did she mean by… nursing?’ ====================================================== Just for clarity: Current wait times for a first appointment for UK Gender services... about 5-8 years depending on where you live. And even then, we are still treated like a mental illness. And the appointments are dehumanising. And they don't offer the most up to date medication for trans people. Trust me, as someone who has gone through the gender clinics... it sucks. So bad. And trans kids can't even access gender affirming care anymore here. Our country was very anti-trans to begin with, but it's getting even worse now. And it's even worse over the other side of the pond right now. Hence why some people (like Noah), may try to talk themselves out of being trans. I realised I was trans over a decade ago, but even then, back when trans people were starting to be more accepted, I found it easier to just not transition, to doubt myself, to pretend I wasn't trans. Obviously that changed eventually, but I did tell you I put a lot of myself in this story. Noah's feelings did not come from nowhere. Also, please remember this is a fictional story. I know there are a lot of health problems with locking someone in a basement for a year, but this is also an institute who can give super strength to their Nannies and has access to advanced technology. I'm sure they figured all this out, but aren't tell their charges how it all works. You don't have to take it so seriously Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Hi again! Apologies for my delay in response, and it's pretty great reading my commitment to a regular release schedule and then immediately failing to meet that mark. That's definitely a good way of looking at things! Sometimes I can get bogged down in perfectionism, but also sometimes it's better to just move on with a solid 95%. I'm happy to hear I've inspired, just as tons of other folks have inspired me! Thank you and best of luck with your endeavors! And also, please enjoy two more chapters! 21 - Age Appropriate It was the sensual rub on her shoulder that had Dawn murmuring in her sleep. She was on her side, cozy on her mattress, head against a plush pillow. “Time to get up already…?” Dawn groaned as she stretched, feeling the warm sunlight across her face. “Thursday’s just afternoon class for you, right?” his calm and casual tone climbed up, over and around her neck, as if she could feel his breath against her. “Yeah…” Dawn dreamily whispered, still with her eyes shut and oblivious to the rest of the world. “You?” A resounding sigh from her lover. “Yeah…well, guess I’m the early bird this semester…” She could feel the mattress shift as a body rolled and moved. “Gonna make something fast though; should I get you too?” “Mmm…nah,” Dawn yawned and stretched all over again, reaping the rewards of a well-rested body twice. “I’ll make something after…” “If I leave, you’re not just gonna go back to sleep, are you?” His voice was distant and off the bed, and she just nearly turned her head to hear him better. Just nearly. “Nope…promise.” Thankfully making a promise to her optional attendance wasn’t all that sacred. There was some moving around the bed; dresser drawers opened and closed and curtains were drawn. A few minutes later he asked, “Still with me, by the way?” “Hnnn…?” Her face rubbed into the pillow and sheets just a little more. “I’ll try again when you’re a little more awake, but, uh…sorry about being tied up with research for next week’s break, and everything… It’s just it’d look good on a portfolio, so… I promise we’re gonna do something special over the summer, okay?” “Kay…” with hardly a cognizant horse in the race, Dawn mumbled back, but she had the gist. Whatever her boyfriend was rambling on about, she had made her peace with it. “Oh, by the way, don’t forget to take care of all the junk mail on the counter; I’m gonna throw it all out if you don’t look through it!” She had a point in her mind to dismiss him, yet without any of the class or tact given how badly she wanted to go back to sleep. Putting it much more crudely in a sleepy voice, she muttered, “You’ve got…classes…” “Yep, you’re right. Love ya, and don’t go back to sleep!” “Love you…” She groaned back, trying to focus on the comfort for as long as she could. Maybe she could just skip class today and catch up on some personal reading… There was that one anthology she was enjoying, or maybe the introspective on that one convicted killer? So many choices, and she had the whole day to enjoy it. But first came finishing off the high of her sleep. And she rested there, enjoying the sunlight for a few more seconds, all until he start rocking her on the shoulder again. Slowly, gently, but to a point that she couldn’t ignore. “What…?” She tried to sound playful, but even boyfriends could only rock a sleepy girl so far. “You’re gonna be late…!” she tried to roll away, but there wasn’t much place to go. And the rocking continued, and continued, all until… Finally in a clear voice, she sighed and rose with a frustrated voice. “Luke, what?” And she opened her eyes to the sunlight, laying in her mattress, head against a cushy pillow. She blinked, staring at the dark wooden panel of the desk that she was stashed under, spinning her head back over to the light leaking in from outside the furniture. Groggily, she looked down at her bed and pillow, finding now that while her head truly was cushioned, the bedding beneath was nothing more than an Amazon jacket and hard floor. But her boyfriend rubbed her shoulder again, and she spun her head as worlds seemed to collide, but her rush and urgency stopped on a dime the moment it was killed. The baseless excitement died once she understood. The hand affectionately rubbing her came from a soft-smiling Katherine. “Did you have a nice nap, sweetheart? You slept without making a peep!” Katherine fawned and cooed, and Dawn was still trying to make sense of where she just was…or…what dream she was just having… Just a second ago she could see it; the other side of her apartment bedroom…sunny, warm, and cozy… The doorway to the bathroom was right in front of her; close enough where she could leap out of bed towards it. And yet… Her hand reached out and pressed against the wooden panel, sliding her hand up and down, like there was going to be a ripple, or intangible piece that was a portal; a gateway back to what she knew she saw and knew she was experiencing…! “Dawn?” The same female voice was calling her back though, fastening the chain to the post that kept her rooted. “Y-yeah…?” Slowly, the frazzled girl turned her head. “Did you have a bad dream?” Katherine frowned, and soon their foreheads were touching. “You don’t feel warm…” she commented, but the concern wasn’t completely gone. “I-...I’m fine,” Dawn insisted, taking another breath and trying to fight the phantom surroundings from her dream. She’d been rocked emotionally and mentally so heavily though that it gave Katherine the opportune moment to tug down her pants. “Hey…!” Dawn complained as well as a piece of paper stayed dry in water. And speaking of which, the front of her diaper was squeezed and a dry, crinkly puff spoke back. “Getting her up?” Grace, if Dawn remembered correctly, asked Katherine from her adjacent seat behind the lobby desk. Dawn could see the Amazon on her knees looking up and away to her friend that was well out of view, chatting, “Yep. We’re done for the day so I’m gonna get changed and get us out of here.” And without any debate whatsoever Dawn was being lifted up and onto her feet. “Want me to watch her while you get dressed?” Grace asked. Dawn stepped out and into the light, squinting just a small bit from actually adapting to the meager amount of darkness she had, though she did feel a tiny bit sore from sleeping effectively on the floor. “Would you mind?” Katherine smiled appreciatively, and Dawn looked up at Grace, sitting in her chair like she had been before the girl fell asleep. Her friend waved her off with a hand. “I did it the first time, didn’t I? Besides, if she slept well that means no crankiness, right?” she chuckled. “Lucky it’s been a slow day!” “Really lucky,” Katherine nodded. “Dawn, honey? I’m gonna go get dressed and then we’re gonna get going, okay? Can you behave for Grace?” Let it be said how lucky Katherine truly was. With Dawn still fully waking up it was the absolute sole reason why she wasn’t getting any pushback right then. She slept long enough to forget the good graces and also temporarily lose the energy to verbally fight back. So instead she lightly nodded, feeling distant more than anything else. “Okay, I’ll be right back,” and Katherine stood and left, leaving Dawn with sunken shoulders and a gaze up at her new warden for the brief intermission. Another stickler for the rules, but just maybe slightly less oppressive than Dayna was… “Did you wanna come sit on my lap?” Grace smiled, misinterpreting common courtesy through the eyes as just a silly child’s wanting. “No, I’m fine,” Dawn replied, lucid enough for that, at least. “How long was I sleeping for?” “How long? Hmm… I would say for a little bit, at least.” Maybe it was coincidence, but it was another mention of passing time without any real metrics. No numbers, just phrases. Qualitative, but not quantitative. “N-no, as in, like, how many hours?” Dawn clarified, hoping that being blunt was just shining light on a silly misunderstanding. “Hours?” Grace repeated, but paused for a thoughtful hum. “Hmm…a little over three, maybe?” Three? Since when did naps go for three hours? Weren’t they an hour or so at most? “That long?” “Littles like you are always having big and exciting days,” Grace chuckled, “you’re gonna need a break in between all the fun, you know!” That long though… Was she actually that tired? The days were longer here, weren’t they? So was her body just…catching up? Acclimating? The very word made her shudder just like her diaper crinkled. Her diaper…fuck. “So did you have a fun day?” Grace did both the chit and the chat, leaving Dawn to wander in her very immediate space, curiously peering around the central pillar that the desk surrounded. Almost as if it was her own fortress… “Uh…it was fine,” Dawn was passive in replying, wishing Katherine could somehow change faster. “Did you like meeting Dayna?” Did leprechauns bleed lucky charms? No, and not because the answer was blood, but because they didn’t exist. Things that don’t exist don’t bleed. So no, she very much did not like meeting Dayna. “She was…nice.” All Grace did was chuckle, and Dawn gave her a look. “What? What’s so funny?” Dawn frowned. “Hm?” she raised her eyebrows. “Oh! No; your mommy had some stuff to say about that, is all. Between you and me, sweetheart,” she leaned in with a playful whisper afoot, “you need to learn to behave!” Were they talking about her when she was asleep? “Wh-what? What did she tell you?” “How silly you can be,” Grace stayed vague with a cheery smile, and Dawn only exhaled, knowing just how impossible it was to get any kind of direct answer from anyone here. “Oh hi, Grace!” a voice from beyond the great wall was heard and the Amazon sitting with Dawn looked up and over. “Hey, Dayna! Excited to be off the clock? Vacation awaits!” “You can say that again,” and the voice drew closer. Closer right until an unfortunately familiar face was visible to both Grace and Dawn now. “Just glad I got to finish it with a fun shift, no offense!” “None taken,” Grace sighed herself, waving her hand. “Running the Little’s corner is definitely the highlight of the week,” she said, and Dayna solemnly nodded. “Definitely. Though,” Dayna chuckled for a moment, like it was required just to get the next part out, “I had to deal with one who was being a little bit bratty today…” “Oh yeah?” Grace asked, and Dawn, still somehow unnoticed, shook and quivered. She shook from the anger of knowing exactly what she was about to imply, and quivered from the fear of having dodged a bullet. It sounded like she really did have a vendetta, if only by a little. “She’s new and all, so I’m not going to hold it against her, but have you met Katherine’s new Little yet?” “Yeah, I did, actually. Sweetheart in my opinion! Not yours, though?” Grace chuckled, and by forgoing any mention of the very person standing right beside her, just maybe the Amazon was covering for her. “Mm, well… She’s something. It was like she was ready to throw a tantrum over every little thing! First she didn’t want her juice, then she got upset when I wanted to check her diaper, when she had to sit down for story time… Promise you won’t tell Katherine this part?” Secrets from Katherine? Suddenly Dawn felt an oncoming bargaining chip, even if it was a tip from her newest enemy. Grace nodded and said, “Lock and key. Whatcha got?” “When Katherine came to pick her up for lunch? She called Katherine by her first name!” And the sound of shock in the woman’s voice rang an uncomfortable bell for the culprit. Dawn looked beside herself in a weird way. Did it really matter that much? Enough to tell another person about it? And of all things, too. It couldn’t have been that important to call her Mommy, right? “Really?” Grace spoke with a similar spike of surprise, and Dayna readily confirmed. “Yes! You should’ve seen how embarrassed she was! I completely get it, but still… I can’t imagine how embarrassed I’d be if my Little called me by my name in public; gosh, even in private! I wonder if–” “Oh come on!” In a shocking turn of events, Dawn stepped back and shouted up to the heavens, catching Dayna off guard. “You can’t be serious! It’s not even that big of a deal!” Clearly Dayna was taken aback, never expecting a second listener. But still, a second later and her persona was composed. The friendly, gossiping tone was dropped for one that played from statuses, enforcing the separation between teacher and student. “Dawn? What are you doing back there?” “Minding my own business,” she spoke crudely. “What about you?” But instead of getting an answer, the grown up simply deferred to the other, continuing to talk right over the girl’s head. “Grace? Did you let her play here? Wait,” she turned her head both ways, “where’s her mommy? Where’s Katherine?” “She’s just getting changed out of her uniform. I said I’d watch Dawn for her,” Grace explained, but Dayna looked far from satisfied. “Has she been here this whole time? Katherine never brought her back after lunch– Oh, perfect timing! Katherine?” And Dayna disappeared from beyond the desk. “Jesus…what’s her problem?” Dawn muttered, but she spun her head as the floor fell from beneath her. Or, more aptly, she was picked up. “Hey!” “Don’t ‘hey’ me, troublemaker,” Grace playfully sighed, “Your mommy’s gonna get in trouble if you let anybody find out she let you nap back here, you know?” “Why, because Dayna is sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong?” “Dayna cares about Littles a lot, honey…” Grace explained, but it seemed to be sparing an awful lot of enthusiasm, to the point where the woman seemed to doubt it herself. “Let’s go hand you off. Sooner you two skedaddle the better.” “I can walk, you know?” Dawn complained, but was barely even acknowledged as Grace carried her out the back and back to the front of the desk where they closed in on Katherine and Dayna. “Katherine, you never brought her back after lunch. The whole day were you just–?” “Bwah!” Grace forcefully interrupted, and even Dawn could feel the tense atmosphere. Katherine looked pensive and reserved, meanwhile her peer came off as aggressive and annoyed. “Sorry, Kat! Dawn wanted her mommy!” And like a box of chocolates Dawn was held out as such, to which Katherine warmly accepted now in her street clothes. Dayna’s mouth still hung agape with a stern sentence she seemed like she wanted to finish, but apparently Littles really did function the same like children as far as set pieces went. No adult in their right mind would chew out another in front of a kid. “Oh, thanks!” Katherine smiled, briefly bouncing Dawn against her hip. “Did you miss me?” Dawn wasn’t sure whether she was just being exploited as a diversion at that point or Katherine was being genuine. Either way, the warm smile still made her feel uncomfortable and brought on a blush, so maybe it didn’t really matter. “And actually, Dayna, do you have a sec?” Grace asked with a sense of apology in her voice. She clasped her hands with a guilty look. “Since Katherine’s gotta go, I was wondering if you could help me organize just a few late return filings real quick? Call it your last job before vacation time?” Dayna looked caught between two different hares she was trying to catch at the same time. She briefly stuttered, then ultimately sighed. “S-sure…” “Perfect! Thank you so much!” Grace grabbed Dayna by the shoulder, then tapped Katherine’s. “Have a good night, Kat; be good for Mommy, Dawn!” Apparently if it was coming from an Amazon and not a Little, Katherine was adept at reading cues, hence why they were already drifting away. “Thank you!” She waved. “Have a great vacation, Dayna!” Katherine called, then whispered in Dawn’s ear, “Can you say bye to Grace?” “What?” Dawn, not whispering so much, rebutted, “why?” “Because she did something very nice for us. Please?” And like that they were back to speaking in broad strokes and flowery words. Reluctantly, and without a gesture, Dawn called out blankly, “Bye Grace.” “Bye-bye!” Grace, still within earshot, waved back, still escorting Dayna away. “Jesus, what was her problem?” Dawn vented as they reached the outside. “Was she mad at you, or something?” “No, Dayna wasn’t mad,” Katherine was quick to correct, “she just…wanted to make sure everything was okay,” she briefly explained, but didn’t leave room for comment. “More importantly, did you have a fun day?” Calling it ‘fun’ couldn’t have been farther from the truth. But what wore on the girl was Katherine’s constant smiling. Her stupid, kind words and overbearing attitude, especially with how upset she could be over the stupidest things that Dawn would say or do… “It was…interesting.” She froze up from the elated gasp from the Amazon. “Really?” Katherine asked, sounding no less happy. “Oh, that’s great! I’m so glad you had a fun day!” She squeezed her tighter, and Dawn tried to push back just to give herself breathing room. “I know we had some problems, but I know it was a lot of fun spending my lunch break with you!” And maybe it felt begrudging to admit, but that was probably the highest point of the day for Dawn as well, if not the part where she slept through the remainder of it. After all, she was at least humored in browsing some of the books, even if she was censored the whole way through. It was the highest point, if only because everything else was simply so much worse. “Next time…” Dawn started, but wished she never even began. Next time. When was next time? Tomorrow? Two days from now? Days. Days she referenced going by with the full expectation that she would be here for that much longer. Waiting and wondering just when her sentence would end. “‘Next time’ what?” Katherine, as inquisitive as always, bounced Dawn on her hip like she needed a reminder to finish her questions. “...Nothing. So now can we go home?” Dawn asked as she looked around the parking lot, finding it to be far more packed than it was that morning. “We can…” Katherine lulled, and Dawn wasn’t much of a foodie, but she knew how to smell a carrot dangling from a stick. “I was thinking we could make one quick stop somewhere first. Is that okay?” No, it probably wasn’t. “Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise! Do you wanna guess?” “I just want to go home… Can we, please?” “We will right after. I promise you’ll like where we go, though!” Soon Dawn was slipped into her car seat, slipped and snaked into the cushioned seat, safely secured and strictly strapped into place without a chance of getting out on her own. What she didn’t appreciate was her accompanying accessory set being placed right next to her. She watched Katherine drop the diaper bag right next to her before shutting the door and getting into the driver’s seat. “Wanna listen to some music?” Katherine asked as she pulled out of their space. “Nope. All set.” Did she really care if her doll was entertained or not? “Ta-dah!” The excitement was sure and true, but it wasn’t shared. Dawn gave her a skeptical look as she watched outside the window from her seat. In another attempt to spark some joy, Katherine asked, “Dawn, you know where we are, right?” A sliver formed between her lips just to let out a quiet sigh. “A toy store?” “Yes, the toy store! Don’t you wanna pick something out?” Again, the Amazon kept trying to sweeten the pot, but her tricks and tactics were simply suited for a different kind of opponent. “Can’t we go to a bookstore, or something? I’ll gladly pick out a book,” Dawn tried to compromise. “They sell books here, too! But, you need to pick something out to play with too, understood?” “Why is it so important I get a toy? I don’t play with toys, Katherine,” Dawn tried to explain as clearly as she could, yet hearing the clicks and snaps of her own car seat straps seemed to make for a sore juxtaposition, somewhat. “Because you need fun things to play with!” Katherine emphasized, finally sighing herself, albeit in a much more playful way. “I like books too, but I can’t be a bookworm my whole life!” In other words, diversify with your hobbies. What “hobbies” was Dawn allowed to have here? Books, if at all, and what; playing with toys? Toys and books? Or were her hobbies just the different games that she was supposed to play? The self-defeatist attitude was as justified as it was demoralizing. But having been through the song and dance enough, Dawn decided to be as much of a buzzkill as Katherine could be when she wasn’t the one getting her way. “Is it because of LPS?” The apparent Big Brother of this world. “Don’t worry about that,” Katherine hushed much more somberly, but she still came off as positive. “Besides, you tried really hard today and you deserve a treat for that. Anything you want, okay?” “So what if I want nothing?” A real glass half-empty kind of gal. “Then I pick something,” Katherine grinned, catching Dawn in a way she didn’t expect, annoyedly so. “Fine. Whatever…” Dawn muttered on the brief walk across the lot and into the store, advertising with big bubbly, colorful letters and all. The moment they stepped inside, Katherine was already fawning. “Oh wow! Isn’t it so big?” She pointed and Dawn followed her finger up to the massive animal balloons floating around the warehouse ceiling. Pigs, cows, and horses, all equally as round and bloated save for their unique colors and tails. They looked larger than life; far bigger than the normal Amazon, and only served as a reference for just how big this place really was. “Yeah, cool,” Dawn commented, then glanced at all the metal cages of balls, boxes, colorful adverts and distant beeping and buzzing noises. Katherine walked them through the entrance, swiping a catalog like it was some kind of dead drop. Had Dawn not been watching the endless number of pages flip past her fingers, she likely would have seen the stars in Katherine’s eyes as she made small noises of glee at the colorful image explosion of endless products, gadgets and gizmos. “Sure we’re not here to get you a toy?” Dawn called her out, and all she did was chuckle. “Hmm, maybe! I only get to come here when it’s for one of my nieces or nephews, so I guess I’m a little excited to have another reason to go…” Katherine giggled. Or in other words, Dawn was but another means to an end. “So? Did you have any ideas?” “Ideas? I wanted a book. Not a toy. If we get Waver a toy can I just take the book?” “That’s very thoughtful of you,” Katherine said as she rubbed her head, “but I think he has plenty of things to play with. You on the other hand?” So much for trying… She sprung for the first pointless thing that came to mind. “Fine. Blocks. I don’t know.” “Yeah? Let’s go see if we can find some…” And off they went. The toys certainly were endless, much like the shrieking children and crying Littles inside the store. “NO! I WANT BOTH!” One would wine, and another would beg. “Just fucking let me go you sadistic bitch!” Identifiably, the Littles were the ones with more…refined language. And while Katherine may have tried, either her hasty pace to avoid the meltdown or hand to cover just one of Dawn’s ears was always a reactive strategy rather than a proactive one. “Pllleeeeeaaaasssse!” “Mommy! Mommy! This one! This one!” “I DON’T WANT A FUCKING TOY! I’M AN ADUL–” Cue the slaps and smacks. “You don’t have to try and cover my ears, you know…” Dawn spoke simply, getting more annoyed with each attempt. Katherine, missing the point entirely, opted for an unnecessary teaching moment by saying, “I don’t want you thinking that just because others do, that doesn’t mean you can use naughty words, understood?” “Yeah, kinda figured that…” Maybe it was all in her head, but her bum may have twitched just then. Hearing more and more from kids and captures had her both unnerved and observant. Of course it made her uncomfortable; she was forced to listen to people who had it just as bad as her. They were all mirrors for her circumstances, as far as she could tell. Maybe that’s why the store was so big as well. Enough space and soothing music from overhead speakers just to tune out the cries of the eternally damned. “I think we found what we’re looking for!” They finally turned into an aisle that was thankfully empty. The tall shelves were organized like warring factions, each section championing some kind of branding or product. Something that looked like a knock-off for legos, others as some superior imitation of knex, and more. Big block sets, small block sets; soft ones, hard ones, plush, mesh, and more. It had to have been some kind of haven for any aspiring materials engineer. One that still needed pull-ups for bed at night. “There’s so many…!” Katherine looked up, down, left, and right. “You’ve got a lot to choose from, huh?” “Those,” Dawn pointed out a small box. “Let’s get those ones.” “These ones?” Katherine crouched and pulled the box off the shelf. It was a bright orange box seemingly filled to the brim with cubes, spheres, and prisms of endless shapes, sizes, colors, and patterns. A circular cutout lined with plastic was a snapshot into the eternal land of creativity the toy assuredly had, but Dawn hardly cared. It could have been as boring as a stick in the mud and she still would’ve asked for it. As long as it was in the same place. After all, she pointed at the first thing she saw. “Hmm…” Katherine hummed, and Dawn by chance followed her finger tracing across the packaging. Her digit moved and moved over the selling points and finally stopped on some label. ‘L4+’ Interesting, but certainly more random jargon. Dawn didn’t care to think too hard, given how peeved she still was by that Library’s stupid sorting system. She’d figure it out soon enough, but she didn’t want anything else to kick her while she was still down. “And you’re sure about these?” Katherine asked, like she was warning her with a ‘last chance’ sort of look. “Yep. They’re perfect.” “Alright then!” And in Katherine’s hand they stayed. Boom. Easy. Done. “Can we go now?” After thinking twice about it, she decided it’d probably be better not to try and see any of the books here. Given the setting, she was more than likely going to leave book-less and disappointed. “Yes, we can,” Katherine started, but then stopped, raising her eyebrow with a grin. “After you pick something you really want?” Was it really that obvious? Dawn just barely clicked her tongue. “I said I wanted those blocks, didn’t I?” “And I’m sure you do, but let’s pick out something else, okay? I want you to really think about it, okay?” “How should I know what I want if I didn’t even want anything from the start?!” Was she really being forced to choose if she was upfront about her complete lack of interest? “That’s okay,” Katherine soothed and bounced, but it only made Dawn boil hotter. “How about I walk down some aisles, and if you like it, we’ll get it?” “Then…just get me another thing of blocks, or whatever.” At least playing architect meant needing the imagination for what a finished building might look like. “You have enough blocks,” Katherine decided for her, now apparently the arbiter of all Dawn’s needs and wants. “We’re still gonna get you a book too, you know?” “Don’t want one anymore.” “What? Why not?” “Just don’t. Changed my mind.” “...Well, can I pick a book out for you?” “I’d really rather you didn’t.” And instead of pushback, Dawn got literal pushback when the Amazon smothered her cheek against her face. “Jeez…what’s got you so grumpy?” Katherine frowned for just a second, but was back to smiles as they moved down the aisles, traversing the endless maze. Some time later, Dawn felt the need to broach a recurring and uncomfortable topic. “Kath– Mommy?” Shit. No one was nearby, as far as she could tell. She could have gotten away with it…! “Ya-huh? See something you like?” and she already started to turn on her heel. “No. I…I need to go use the bathroom.” “Hm? You don’t feel wet…” But before Katherine could administer a check, Dawn quickly spoke up, “N-no! I didn’t…urgh, I didn’t do that! I’m just saying that I need to go!” “Oh,” Katherine said, though her face implied the disconnect. “Dawn? Sweetie, it’s okay to use your diaper?” “Yeah, I know!” Fuck! No! I don’t know because it’s not okay! “Just… Please? No one’s watching! No one’s gonna know! Just take me!” “Dawn…please don’t get upset with me.” “I’m not gonna be upset if you just let me go!” The very thought of needing to go had her fidgeting, but Katherine’s arm around her back kept her from going anywhere. “Are you nervous?” “Nervous?” How did that even apply to the situation? It was just…disgusting! And yes, embarrassing! Nervous didn’t even apply! Nervous made it sound like peeing herself was a willing possibility, like she just needed a light push on…! “I’m not nervous! I’m just…just let me go use the bathroom! If…if I pick out a toy will you let me? Please?” “No, but I’d still like it if you picked something out,” and like it was an open and shut case, Katherine kept walking. That was it, then. No more talk about using the bathroom. “Ka– Mommy! Please!” Dawn begged and her legs squirmed. All because of that stupid juice…! “Shh…Dawn, it’s okay, honey.” Softly, yet firmly, she was being refused, and every second with trying to hold it meant less brain cells she could use to strike up an argument. “You’re not even being fair…!” “It’s okay…” she tried shushing the girl, moving on to hums, “you don’t need to be embarrassed.” Dawn at many points had been a fool in underestimating the absurdity of this dimension, but at least now she was starting to see when and where she was at a total loss, hence her frustration right then. At the library she had no option; no Katherine to beg. However now she did and couldn’t afford herself the excuse of “had Katherine been there, maybe things would have gone differently.” The only difference though would be being held while she peed herself versus standing on her own two feet. “Just…can you just put me down?” Dawn was desperate with her shaky ask. “I won’t run…!” Even if she tried, her bladder would be the first thing to give out before her legs. And like the question hadn’t already been asked, Katherine whispered, “Honey, are you nervous?” “Yes, I’m nervous!” Dawn blurted out. Fuck it, if she was being forced to do it, then yes, she was nervous! Nervous and embarrassed. Disgusted like she was since doing it the first time. Every disgusting and awful feeling that came with the act…! But in a shocking turn of events, Dawn was slowly set on the floor. Yet another dreadful compromise. A small, technical victory, which was nothing but a loss framed through a different lens. “Ah-ah!” Katherine snagged Dawn by the hand the moment she tried to take a step. “Stand right here.” “What? Why?” Dawn asked as she was parked in front of the shelf, feeling a shadow overhanging her as it reached closer to the floor. Soon Dawn was being held by the waist while Katherine was crouched behind her, covering the Little on both sides with her legs and hanging her head over her. “Katherine?” “No one’s watching, it’s okay,” Katherine whispered, and Dawn felt an assuring pat on her stomach. “Just look at the toys, okay?” “W-wait, no!” Dawn tried to wriggle free, but the Amazon wasn’t letting go. “S-stop!” “Didn’t you want some privacy?” “Y-yes…!” Privacy from everyone! “But…but you’re…!” “Dawn,” and she broke up the words with a kiss atop her head. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen, silly. Just let me know when it feels like you’re done, okay?” Let it be known that it could have been argued this was something Katherine had not seen. However, it couldn’t be debated that she had certainly seen Dawn do worse… Pertaining to the number poo variety… Or did she pee herself then, too? It didn’t matter! Her breaths were nervous all the same and she was waiting for the chance to disappear, but the adrenaline was just making her feel the need to pee even more. What was she supposed to do? Lie and say she went? What if Katherine checked her just to see if she did? Or what if she didn’t? Then Dawn would really have to pee herself in an even more public situation than this farce for privacy already was. If anyone did see, they’d just see a mother sheltering her child from the rest of the world while they did whatever kids do. Cry? Throw a tantrum? Wet their diapers? Either way there would be the instant recognition, and the only thing protecting Dawn from that was her own willful ignorance and Katherine’s motherly demeanor shielding her from it. She breathed and breathed. Inhaled and exhaled. Sighed, fidgeted, and squirmed. Finally she was looking at what was in front of her. Speed Racerz toy trucks, zipping across the cardboard cover in a blazing trail and all. Big, bulky plastic trucks…with big wheels…premade, customizable tracks, and… A meager meep left the girl’s mouth as her legs went stiff and she tensed up. A warm drop left her body, but it didn’t go far. Katherine’s touch was almost as snug and secure as the diaper was around Dawn’s hips, quickly soaking up the sudden and ongoing stream. For a quiet, uninterrupted moment, she wet herself; freely as much as she’d been forced to. “Good job…!” Katherine whispered her praise as an Amazon hand wiped away the tears. She’d done it multiple times before, but never in such close proximity like this. There was simply no way of hiding from her. Even if she knew what went on, and even if she changed her diapers, what didn’t change was the self-disgust and embarrassment. “Why…why do I have to…?” Dawn tearily muttered. “Because we love you so much, sweetie,” and after another kiss Dawn had finally emptied her system, drained in more ways than one. “Ready to go back up?” Meekly, Dawn nodded. “And…upsie-daisie!” Katherine cooed and Dawn soared. Apparently she’d put on a show convincing enough to not warrant a diaper check, and her face grimaced once her thickened, diapered front pressed her fake-mommy’s side. “Just tug my shirt if you see something you like,” she said as she rubbed her back, and on they went. They went and went. Aisle to aisle. Dolls, stuffed animals, play sets, kitchen imitations, and more. There were toys that felt awfully advanced for what Dawn would consider friendly for kids. Train sets with gearboxes to manipulate the speeds, robots with programmable command sets, and make believe cauldrons with “substance synthesizers – PARENT MUST SUPERVISE,” and so on. Everything at first glance reminded her of what might be pure gold to kids 8 and under, but the idea felt deceptive once she had a closer look. “Wait,” Dawn finally spoke up, “what are those?” “Those?” Katherine took a step back. It was a large display behind a thick layer of transparent plastic glass, or something. Large, wide tablets were propped up on tiny posts, lined in protective and color casings that had handles reminding Dawn of her sippy cups. The edges were patterned and textured for easy grip and the top even personified the technology with a friendly cartoonish face. Maybe there really were some parallels between this dimension and her own. They were tablets marketed for kids. Dawn was no kid, naturally, but it probably felt like it was the most dignified thing she could get. It was the first screen she had seen since losing her phone. Ignoring the childish case, it could just maybe be something bearable. And after all, Katherine did say she could get anything… “I’ll get one of these,” Dawn decided. And she waited for Katherine to grab one above the display. And she waited. And waited. “...Why don’t we look at something else?” “What? But you said I could get anything? It’s a toy, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is, but I don’t think we need any more screens in the house. Besides…” she murmured as she looked at one of the boxes, “I don’t know if one would be appropriate. Let’s go find a different toy, okay?” “Wh-what? But it’s actually something that I want!” “And I’m sorry, Dawn, but I don’t want you playing with one of those,” Katherine explained, but her decision was firm. “Maybe another time, okay? But let’s try and get you some things you can touch and play with in your hands.” “Yeah, and you can use a tablet in your hands. Katherine, please? I lost my phone; this is the closest thing to that!” “Dawn, no,” she firmly said it again. “And…ah, see here?” Dawn looked at where she was pointing. ‘A6+’ “Yeah? And?” “The ‘A’ means ‘Amazon’,” Katherine slowly explained, then traced the six and plus. “It’s for Amazon kids that are six and up.” Her first instinct was to blink, and then to wonder to what kind of discrimination she was being subjected to. Because she was a Little? Wait– no, that was obviously the reason. The only reason. But did the age factor even matter? “A-are you serious?” “Uh-huh, see the ‘A’?” Katherine started to re-explain, “That’s the first letter for ‘Amazon’--” “I know how to spell! But are you seriously saying I can’t have one because I’m a Little?” “Dawn, some toys are made for different boys and girls, okay? There’s even toys just for Littles, too!” Like the mutual exclusivity was somehow supposed to make her happy again. “Katherine, that shouldn’t matter. I’m smarter than a six-year old, Amazon or not. I know how to use a tablet!” “I don’t think you should be using things like that, is all.” “What? Why?!” Would it somehow be too stimulating for her? Was that it? “Because–” And just because Dawn’s foot was against Katherine’s thigh she could feel the vibration from her pants. After maneuvering the Little in her arm she pulled out her own personal tablet, answering a call with the phone against her ear. “Hi honey, what’s up?” James? Was she talking to him? “Put it on speaker…!” Dawn hissed quietly, and Katherine didn’t even look at her, as if it was deliberate, like she was implying not to ask. “Uh-huh, yeah,” Katherine paced in place, bouncing her charge as if to distract her. Dawn could hear mumbling noises from the phone, but hardly anything to piece out something on the other end of the phone. “We’re at the toy store right now, actually! Just getting Dawn a few things she can play with.” “Mhm. Mhm? Wait, she’s…right now? Waiting? Al…alright. Okay, we’re on our way now. We’ll just be a few minutes, okay? Okay…thank you…” Katherine took a breath that Dawn knew to be nervous, and she concluded the call by saying, “Love you. Bye.” “What? What was that about? Did James call?” Dawn was immediately asking, and Katherine was hardly telling. Dawn checked both ends of the aisle before making her move, finally whispering in the Amazon’s ear, “Katherine!” “Huh? Sorry, sweetie? What?” “Who called?” “Just James, sweetie… Hey, we’re gonna just get you the blocks for now, okay? We’ll come get you some more toys another day,” she explained as they started walking back to the front of the store. “You’re acting weird,” Dawn gave her a scrutinizing look. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing’s wrong; everything’s okay,” Katherine smiled, but Dawn wasn’t buying it, and the lack of communication was poisoning the already toxic waters. But not needing to pick a toy out was in its own way a victory, so maybe the urgency to leave wasn’t all that bad. After all, if Katherine wasn’t running, surely no one died. No big deal, then. “Who’s here?” Dawn couldn’t help but notice the black car parked out by the sidewalk, but her personal chauffeur was headed straight for the house, skipping the driveway and stone walkway by shooting through the lawn. It seemed urgent, but apparently not enough for Dawn’s bundle of blocks to be left behind in the car, now hanging from Katherine’s wrist in the bag they were packaged in. The door was unlocked and Katherine stepped inside. “James?” she called. “Right over here!” he called back and around the corner. It was like a dramatic reveal with the way they stepped into view. James was positioned opposite to them, and in between was an eerily familiar head of hair. That same head turned up for a moment, then stood to realize its full Amazon form. “Hi Katherine, I’m sure you remember us meeting the other day?” she held a hand out over the couch. “Francine?” “R-right,” Katherine forced out a chuckle, shaking her hand. “From LPS?” “Gosh,” the woman feigned a frown, looking distraught, “I hate seeming like the boogeyman with all these visits…! Ah! And this cutie right here is Dawn! Not Donna!” she corrected and laughed, but Dawn didn’t. As friendly as she tried to be, Dawn wasn’t fond of Amazons, especially the ones that talked to her like she really did go to daycare. Other than that, a smiling face that intruded on your home in a suit and badge never had any real smiles to give. “Oh, please, sit!” Francine gestured over to James, which Katherine quickly went for, sitting leg to leg with her husband. “I just had the chance to meet with James.” “S-sorry for making you wait,” Katherine jostled the bag, “We were just getting Dawn some toys from the store.” “Oh, that’s not a problem,” the woman smiled. “What toys did you get her?” It was a fairly innocent question, but even Dawn couldn’t help but feel slightly weirded out by it. There were different ways to ask something like that. One was as a lead-in to cheer for the child who got them, acting all impressed and excited, but this wasn’t like that. As if it was a question exclusive to the Amazons in the room. Like she was ready to judge. “Just some blocks to play with… She loves being creative…!” Katherine explained on the spot as she quickly pulled them out, brandishing them. “Oh those look fun,” James leaned out just to see for himself. “Right?” Katherine agreed. “Dawn picked them out all by herself!” “Good pick, Dawn!” “Yeah, thanks…” the Little murmured. “Would you mind if I took a look?” Francine asked, already holding her hands out. “O-of course,” Katherine obliged. The woman stared at the packaging for a brief moment, slowly turning it over, studying the contents like it was a bomb, or something. But whatever inspection she was conducting, possibly they passed, because she was soon handing it back over for James to accept. “Thank you,” and just a second later she was typing something in on her phone. “Did you get her anything else?” “Anything else…? No…well, we were going to, but…once my husband called that you were here, we hurried…so…” and with each pause she made a half-glance at her husband, like somehow he might have an answer. “Oh, well I’m sorry for interrupting like this!” Francine chuckled, and James did most of the heavy lifting on meeting her gesture halfway. Dawn was back to being coddled like a security blanket for Katherine. “Just to reintroduce myself for you both: my name is Francine Bush and I’m a case handler for LPS. I’m here on a report that was made about an alleged mishandling, or kidnapping that’s still under investigation.” Despite the obvious tension, Dawn with her lack of knowledge had a far easier time being rude. So out she blurted, “Yeah, the one that person was lying about?” “Dawn…!” Katherine warned sternly, then quickly apologized, “I’m sorry, she…I think she’s just a little upset we couldn’t finish our trip to the toy store…” “No, that’s okay!” the woman smiled, then pointed at the box in James’ lap. “Actually, I’d hate to be the reason she can’t play with her new stuff. Why don’t we let her keep busy with that while we talk?” “I’m fine, I don’t want to–” But the sound of tearing cardboard was already making Dawn purse her lips. Suddenly a rainstorm of blocks was pattering on the floor. The only kind of forethought that saved her was using her feet to stand before Katherine could set her on her bottom – her warm diaper, before she could feel the squish. It felt like she was under a magnifying glass now that every big in the room was sitting on the couch, and she was the cute decoration playing in the middle. On the floor. Lower than everyone else. She had half a mind just to make a point of her disinterest, but just to keep up the bare minimum of appearances she slowly dangled one block over another, watching the unsurprising clank and crumble of her two-block structure. And as she performed similarly unimpressive feats, she quietly listened on. “Where’s Waver…?” Katherine quietly whispered to James. “Upstairs. Figured it’d be better to keep him in our room…” “So,” Francine continued, “I said I’d be making some unscheduled visits in the future. I apologize for this one being so soon; it’s important for these kinds of things that we get to meet both parents, if and when applicable,” and she nodded to both Amazons. “If–” Katherine spoke up, suddenly stopping. “If…if James can answer any questions a-about whatever this witness reported…” “No, that’s alright,” Francine said. “I was able to ask him some things before you got here. Unfortunately I can’t offer any more information right now other than that the claims are still being investigated. I hope you can understand, but we take the wellbeing of Littles into very serious consideration, which is why we ask that until we’ve resolved everything, you don’t try to finalize any sort of adoption paperwork.” “Right, of course,” James was the one to answer, and even with her back to them, Dawn could feel the strength leaving Katherine. “So is there anything we can do for you?” “Well…like I said, I know that it’s soon, but as of yesterday I understand you both were still getting some of the essentials for Dawn?” “Y-yes. We finished the start of her nursery the other day,” Katherine explained, and James backed her up. “A crib, changing table…” “And a toy chest?” Francine raised her eyebrows, and only after a solid second did she smile with a glance down at the blocks, finally implying that what she made was a joke. James and Katherine made another on command laugh. “That’s great, then,” Francine murmured as she did something else with her phone. “And how did today go? You both work, yes? Do you already have her in daycare?” Nope. No daycare… Dawn quietly shook her head helplessly as she tried to balance a cylinder on a cube. “W-well…I brought her into work with me today,” Katherine slowly started. “My work has a place that watches parent’s Littles when they need to do research or use any of the library’s services.” “Mhm…” More notes on her phone. “And that’s for employees, as well? They watch the Littles of employees?” “There’s…there’s no rule against it…” Katherine explained, but she sounded a bit stunned, like she was caught off guard. “And is that your long term solution for her?” Francine glanced from guardian to guardian. “Every day at the library?” Maybe minus Dayna, sure, it could work… Dawn pessimistically supposed. “A couple days out of the week I regularly work from home,” James volunteered. “She’ll be staying at home with me then.” “While you’re working?” Every question she had seemed to be judging. Maybe it was her job, but did she have to sound so bitchy about it…? “I’m able to be away from my computer; she’ll be under safe supervision,” James answered with more confidence than Katherine could seem to. “Okay…” Francine nodded, making more notes. “Is…is that okay?” Katherine asked, finally asking an obvious yet unanswered question. It felt like something fairly essential, and yet Francine sounded like she was only answering because they asked. Otherwise it was on a need to know basis. “For now, yes, but I’m sure you both understand we want what’s best for Dawn’s wellbeing?” “Right,” husband and wife agreed. “That’s why I’d be concerned about her socializing opportunities. Sometimes parents can underestimate it, but having routines and consistent faces can be important for a Little to feel comfortable with their environment. At the library; is it usually the same Littles that are being dropped off?” The air went quiet for a moment. Finally, Katherine, like a student caught without her homework, admitted, “Not…all the time, no… It-it’s just that getting her into a daycare this time of year when it’s already in the middle of the year…” Another wordless nod from Francine. “That’s alright. It should be fine for now, but I suggest trying to put her around with some other kids her developmental age. As far as daycare goes, we can arrange something for you if need be.” Dawn stayed quiet, but boy was she clambering those blocks real hard. There was no way in hell she was going to a daycare. And what gives? Being forced to play with mindfucked Littes? What did she mean by “developmental age?” She had the developed mind of an adult, so that obviously meant socializing with adults. Right? Right? “How about doctor’s visits? Do you have anything scheduled for her yet?” Every question was like a bombshell that threw the Amazons off their game. Dawn had never seen the mighty and immovable checkmated before. “No…not yet… We wanted to find someone that we were comfortable with…” Whether it was true or not, this was the first Dawn was hearing Katherine speak of it. “Mhm, I can understand new parents being nervous about that,” Francine sagely nodded, and for once it felt like they’d reached a point of common ground. “But it is important you make sure your Little is up to date on everything and in good health. It’s a number one priority we recommend,” and she let the pause hang just to intensify her point. “Littles pre-adoption can be known to not be so proactive with taking care of themselves. Thank goodness they have the grown ups looking out for them though, right?” Another collective laugh from the trio, all at Dawn’s bitter and annoyed expense. “Which is why…” Francine, already with something prepared in her inner pocket, pulled out a slip and scribed a few things on it with a pen. “I’d like you two to take her to that appointment for tomorrow,” she handed them the paper. “I understand if the timing may not be ideal, but it really can’t be overstated making sure your Little is in good health…” “Nope, we understand,” James nodded, glancing down at the slip. “I’ll make the time. No worries.” “Perfect,” Francine nodded appreciatively. “That’s an appointment for a local Little-trician we like to refer parents to in the area. There won’t be any need to explain the situation or your current circumstances; just treat it as a normal check-up. You’re more than welcome to use her as Dawn’s primary care moving forward, but we’d like to know of any switches you might be making if that’s the case.” “Right…thank you,” James said again, and Katherine said something similar. “Okay,” Francine exhaled, then looked around the living room. “Since things have changed, would it be alright if I saw her nursery now?” She lifted her note-taker from the coffee table. “Just to keep all our information fresh.” Just how anal is she…? Dawn wondered as she contemplated the best way to chuck a ball at her spindly structure. Maybe in a way where the ball would hit the woman? More importantly, she still had the card to play about being stranded here by a tour guide, but would she even listen? As “helpful” as she sounded, Dawn didn’t quite get the most positive vibes from her… If anything though, at least she gave thoughtful explanations, as twisted as they are. Nothing like “bad words are bad, or this toy isn’t appropriate for you.” She worked like math whereas Katherine functioned like creative literature. Vague and operating on a sense of reason that merely just “felt” right. Real glime-dazzling stuff. “Kat?” James stopped his wife from standing. “Why don’t you stay with Dawn while I go show her around? Sure your day was busier than mine.” “That’d be fine,” Francine cooly included. “I’m done with my questions for today.” “Uhm…sure…” Katherine agreed, sinking back on her seat. And Dawn flinched once a rough hand over her head tousled her hair, leaving the gesture in James’ wake as he walked ahead with the LPS worker. “We have a high chair for her if you want to see that?” James chatted as he guided her to the stairs. “That’d be great. I’ll see it on the way out…” Dawn watched them disappear up the second flight from her leaned out position. But before she could look away she was suddenly pulled into a tight embrace. “K-Katherine?” Dawn grunted over the sniffles from the woman. “C-can you let go?” “I’m sorry…” she sniffled again, sounding on the verge of tears. “I love you more than anything, sweetheart.” And without asking to, Katherine kissed her on the forehead. With Dawn’s foot hanging from the hold, still close enough to the floor, all she did was kick one of the spheres with the back of her foot. Going… Crash! Crumble! The great tower of babble had fallen. 22 - Decompress “Is it not going to affect your work?” Katherine spoke with James, and Dawn did her damndest to contribute. “Don’t worry, I’ll be able to make the time,” James was casual as he passively rubbed his palms from his seat. “Thankfully my time is flexible when I’m at home.” “Mm…” Katherine quietly agreed, and Dawn boredly watched the Amazon, sitting right behind the Little with her legs splayed on both sides like walls meant to keep the smaller girl in. She watched her hand occasionally add a block to her amalgamation of cube, prism, cylinder and more. The once mighty tower had fallen and much like the result of Babel, better thought of as babble, that’s all either architect seemed to be communicating with each other. Dawn placed a block here, Katherine placed one there. Dawn implied step one, and Katherine opted for step six. The conversation finally reached one of those quiet moments, and while Dawn seriously doubted that was for her sake, she certainly treated it like so. Speaking up, she said, “So did either of you two plan on asking me?” “Ask what, sweetheart?” Katherine patted the top of her head. “Ask if I was okay with any of this? What did she even call it? A Little-trician? Is that like a doctor, or something? I’m not going to any doctor.” There wasn’t a need for one. None whatsoever. Maybe mentally was an ongoing question, given how horrible things were becoming, but at least physically she was in tip-top shape. “Well Dawn,” Katherine used her gentle, ‘too dumb to understand’ tone, “you have to go to the doctor’s. What if you get sick?” “I’m not going to get sick,” Dawn said, then immediately realized how ridiculous that sounded. “I’m not sick. Not right now. Fine, take me if I get sick, but not until then. I feel fine!” “Dawn, we all have to go to the doctor’s,” James turned it into a double-team. “The LPS lady gave us an appointment. We have to go.” “There’s a number on that, isn’t there? Just call and cancel, or something. Tell them I feel fine.” “Dawn…you need to go,” the woman right behind her said. “Just let me stay here!” Dawn insisted, and James looked up, like he was sharing a look with his wife beyond the Little’s scope of vision. “Why don’t we all go tomorrow?” Katherine offered, not to Dawn, but to James. “I’d want to meet them, too…” “Well if this works out, you can always take her the next time,” James suggested, and Dawn looked concerned. “What do you mean ‘next time’?” the Little tried to interrupt. “I’m not going the first time either!” “I can just call out for the afternoon; they’ll understand.” “Hon, you called out once this week already,” James played the gentle opposition. “It’ll be fine, I promise.” “I’m not going!” Dawn raised her voice, and Katherine calmly tried to shush her. “Shh…shh…indoor voices,” she calmly reminded her, and Dawn was ready for another outburst. But all it took was that stupid look from James! It wasn’t enough to make her any less agitated, but…she felt far less willing to challenge his wife’s mercy. “I know, but…” Katherine started, but started to drift. “It’ll be fine, trust me,” James smiled, and Katherine did as well. Dawn sure didn’t though. “Let’s forget about that stuff, though. You two have a good day?” “Meh,” Dawn scoffed just as Katherine looked like she wanted to say something much more glowing. “Meh?” James raised his eyebrow, but looked at his wife for answers. “Do you remember Dayna? She was in charge of the Littles today at work. Dawn had a little bit of a rough day…” Rough day? Being forced into the custody of strangers, have her hobbies and interests be made mockeries of and held out of reach, and plummet her dignity by being treated like an actual child, and that was all just a “rough” day? It was a fucking horribly unfair day! The worst of the worst! Shitty, no-good…! “Did you behave?” Suddenly Dawn was included, for the softest of softball questions only, of course. “I did what I was told,” Dawn exhaled, dropping another block on what could have only been an architect’s worst nightmare. “She was good,” Katherine said just as it looked like James was going to say something back. “Just a little nervous around new people, and that’s okay.” More misdirection and misinformation. She was the farthest thing from nervous. Pissy and independent would have been more accurate. But she was sitting between the legs of a woman who had more or less been her safeguard all day, and even now against the person that spanked her once already. “I-...” Dawn came off the handle again, ready to correct her, but quickly went quiet. Maybe it was better to be misunderstood than to be punished… “Well, good job, then.” James smiled, and Dawn’s head quickly fell down. Complimenting her? For what, enduring all the unfair treatment? Call her a soldier, maybe a veteran once she finally made it back home from the war. “Yes, she did a very good job,” Katherine was just as warm and affectionate, and Dawn was trying to lean away from her hands now on her shoulders. “She ate all her lunch and we even got to look at a few books together!” “Yeah? Anything interesting?” Hardly, for all Dawn knew, considering she barely even got to read the first few pages of one. And that overly-complex book sorting system… “We were looking at some fantasy books, and actually,” Dawn suddenly slid forward on her bottom just so Katherine could stand. “Where did I leave her diaper bag…?” “Right here,” James grunted as he leaned back to grab the bag. “Bring something back?” That got Dawn’s attention. “Uh-huh…” Katherine hummed as she flipped the top open and rummaged through. “Ta-dah!” Dawn leaned out from the side and saw something familiar in the Amazon’s hands. It was the same book they were looking at right before lunch ended. They got it? She checked it out? “Huh…” James mumbled as he read the back and front before handing it back. “Is that gonna be okay?” “It should be fine,” Katherine said as she cradled the book with both arms. “I made sure it was appropriate.” “Wait, you ended up getting the book?” Dawn asked, now beside the woman’s leg. It was an honest and admittedly positive surprise. “Can I read it?” “Of course I got it!” Katherine chuckled, and Dawn shuffled awkwardly. “But remember, Dawn: we’re borrowing this from the library. That means we can’t keep it forever.” “I know what borrowing means, so can I just read it now?” Maybe if she finished it fast enough she could convince her to bring back another one tomorrow. Given how intellectually starved Dawn was feeling, she probably did have it in herself to finish it in one go. “We’ll read some later tonight before bedtime,” Katherine calmly assured the girl, but that was far from what she wanted, and even carried unfortunate implications. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘we’?” Dawn frowned. Katherine looked considerate, but again, there was that same feeling that she just wasn’t quite connecting with the girl. “These books can be big and heavy, sweetheart, and these aren’t like the books at the Little’s area; we need to be extra special careful with these. They’re not toys, okay?” “I never thought of them as toys! I just want to read! I know how to take care of stuff! I don’t need help holding a book! I’ll just set it on the floor!” “Nuh-uh, not with these,” Katherine shook her head. “That’s how they can get dirty and stepped on.” There was hardly a chance of that happening, unless the Amazons themselves decided to be careless. Then she glanced around for a moment, remembering that the four-legged member of the household was still being kept in confinement. Maybe not everyone could be trusted… “Then…fine, on the couch!” “Dawn,” James cut in, “would you rather no books at all?” “No! Ugh,” she groaned, “I’m just trying to say that–” “We’re going to do things responsibly or we’re not doing them at all,” James quite firmly doubled down. “Do you understand?” And with a bitter, horrible feeling in her stomach, Dawn finally croaked. “Fine.” “Dawn, sweetie? Where are you off to?” It was an observant and omniscient voice that had the flustered girl caught in her tracks, ready to disappear into the dark of the corridor. “I-I…I just wanted to see something…!” she grumbled back, trudging onwards while trying to squeeze her own legs together as much as she could. “Please play where James and I can see you!” Katherine called back, and given how things were, the fact she was giving Dawn the choice to walk back on her own rather than be retrieved was something in and of itself. So she slumped back to the living room where Katherine was petting Waver, and Dawn was looking for a place to relieve herself. “Did you wanna play with your blocks some more?” Katherine suggested with a smile. “Or I can put some cartoons on?” “I’m fine…” Dawn huffed, feeling no appeal for anything right then. Correction: there was no appeal for remotely anything this house had inside of it, but at least once upon a time her one and only toy could occupy her mind for five minutes at most. “Kay, girls, come and get it!” James called from the kitchen, and yet Waver was the first to bolt. “Ah-ah! Waver, no–!” Katherine did her best to tame the beast, but the sound of pebbles hitting the metal bowl in the kitchen was like a lightning rod in a storm. Dawn bore witness to a barreling train that hopped over Katherine’s lap, to the arm of the couch, and then soaring for the kitchen. He was just as well-received by James’ scolding once his paws scraped past the doorway and into the kitchen. It was a bitter feeling knowing that a dog could somehow get off easier than Dawn, but she could certainly fly higher since every Amazon just seemed to think she was a collectable at this point. Katherine unannounced swooped her into the air and brought up the rear. “Ready for some dinner?” “What are we having?” Dawn asked and tried to focus, continuing to squeeze her legs. “Yummy stir-fry,” Katherine bounced the girl lightly as they treated themselves to the aroma from the stove. “Mmm! Smells great, hon!” “Feel like you’d say that even if I only gave you a glass of water to drink,” James playfully rolled his eyes and Dawn watched him remove the apron around his neck. “There’s such thing as good and bad water, you know,” Katherine coyly joked as Dawn was deposited into her special seat that hung from the table. Her legs were fed on either side of the center strap, and soon enough she was secure. “Speaking of water, I’ll take that,” Katherine said as she sat right next to Dawn. “I’ll have water too–” Dawn also asked, but her jaw hung in silence as the timing couldn’t have been any more comedic or cruel. Her sippy cup came down on the table with the same old red hue hiding behind the plastic. “Can I please be asked for once what I want to drink?” “Sorry, was just in a rhythm,” James said, but it didn’t feel like much of an apology. After all, she was expected to drink it anyway. Katherine grabbed her cup and unscrewed the top, just the way she preferred it. “We’ll get you some water after. Sound good?” “Mhm…” Dawn dejectedly hummed, but continued to fidget, finally admitting to her needs. “I need to pee.” “Hm?” She was acknowledged, but not in the way she would have liked. Without being able to see, but certainly being able to feel, a hand went around her seat strap and firmly pressed against her lukewarm diaper. “Don’t worry, it’ll hold,” and before Dawn could make some kind of stink, Katherine’s head turned, “oh, thanks,” she accepted the warm, white porcelain plate of food. “Mmm! Looks so good!” “And here’s Dawn’s,” James with his last occupied hand gave Katherine a bright blue plastic bowl, not a plate, which then made the final shift in front of Dawn. The bottom was flat and rock-steady, as if to minimize the chance of tipping it over. “What do we say?” Katherine hummed, and Dawn curled her toes just so her face wasn’t what looked annoyed. “Thank you.” “Course, kiddo!” And just like the night prior, all three were sitting at the dinner table. If only Dawn could eat as fast as Waver, who was already slumped by the table to her left with a full belly. Dawn leaned in just to see Katherine’s plate. Noodles once yellow had gone for tinted orange and caramelized brown. Cuts of red and green vegetables were hiding in between with cubes and strips of meat, onions too. With it all bathing in a sauce, it did look good, and made a point that takeout wasn’t the only means of getting good food here. James really did look like he could cook… But then Dawn looked at her own bowl. If Katherine’s noodles could go on for miles, Dawn’s looked like they stopped somewhere in the realm of inches. They’d been deliberately cut and shortened to a bite-sized degree. Where the Amazons had slices and dices of whole vegetables, all Dawn got were slivers and smithereens of colored specks; tiny cubes that could only imitate the little brother of the main course that others were having around her. The colors were mostly the same, but it was undoubtedly a doctored dish, and that didn’t sit well with her. Staring at her food, Dawn spoke up just as the first fork that she did not have clinked with a plate. “Mine is different.” “Huh? What do you mean?” James asked, and Katherine looked over herself. “What’s wrong, honey? It’s all the same,” Katherine insisted. “No, it isn’t,” Dawn disagreed. “Why is mine in a bowl, but you both got plates?” “That’s because this can get messy,” the chef explained. “Messy just for me?” “Yes, because you’re not using a fork.” “So give me a fork?” In her hasty pursuit for equality, James caught her by the tongue and scolded, “When we want things, we ask nicely.” Before she could bite her tongue, she asked, “May I please have a fork?” “We’ll get you something you can use, but we don’t have it yet. I cut it up so you can use your hands,” James said right before he took a bite, using his fork, no less. Dawn stuttered, “Wh-but…but it’s covered in sauce? How am I not going to make a mess?” “That’s okay!” Katherine sang beside her, “we’re gonna get you in the tub after this, so if you get a little messy, that’ll be fine.” “Tub?” Yet again, the first she was hearing of her immediate and constantly changing life plans. But as much as she wanted to argue, at least on some level she knew she needed to get clean after all the things she’d done in…in things and in places. “But…I don’t want to use my hands!” “You could just use your mouth like Waver?” James grinned, and suddenly imitated a bark. “Woof! Woof!” “Ah-ah!” His wife stared sternly at him, sinking his act into just a sheepish smile. Dawn wasn’t finding it funny at the start or by the finish. “Dawn, I can feed you while I eat too, don’t worry.” “No, it’s fine…” Dawn sighed, yet again choosing the lesser of evils. Her hand hesitantly reached out for the bowl, feeling less like a person and more like a savage with every meal she had. All it was now was to be fed, or enjoy finger-foods or figure out how to turn a meal into one, and that’s what this was, only James did the figuring out for her. She made a face once her fingers brushed against the layer of sauce atop the noodles, and she cringed as she grabbed a handful, trying to be as dignified as she could, but at least Waver could eat without getting his paws dirty, so where did that put Dawn? The noodles weren’t even long enough to hang out of her hand. Nevertheless, food like this wasn’t meant to be eaten with hands, and that’s why it looked less and less appetizing by the second. It was starting to become some sort of gross muck…sludge? Junkyard stew? All brown and orange, covered in– She stuffed it in her mouth with speed, just as fast as a handful of hand soap could be smothered against her mouth. Everything about it was seasoned and refined. It had a good taste, but there were bitter and slightly spicy tones, like it was a touch burnt on the perfection it was meant to achieve. “Is it yummy?” Katherine asked as Dawn swallowed. Her left hand felt unusable now that it was coated in sauce. She looked for a napkin, but it was yet another thing she hadn’t been given. “It’s…” Dawn coughed, “good…” “You didn’t use any spice with hers, did you?” Katherine was already accusing James, and he briefly surrendered his hands. “I promise! Separate batch, just for her! I had to use some of the powder though for a similar taste, just less of it.” “It’s not too spicy, right?” Katherine cooed while she rubbed the girl’s back. Dawn could feel the light tingles and pricks along her tongue. It didn’t hit nearly as bad as the pizza did, but it was a level of spice that she still did not like. And yet up until that point it did taste good, but now she could hardly taste anything. “It’s…fine…” Dawn lightly coughed and breathed. “Here, drink some sippy,” Katherine brought the cup to her mouth and she sipped from the lid, swallowing a heaping helping of juice all while someone else held it for her. “All better?” “I said I’m fine…” Dawn wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, still holding up the left like it was contagious. “Sorry, Dawn,” James looked apologetic, “Let me know if that’s too much and I’ll put something else together for you, okay?” And to answer his offer, Dawn swiped another handful of food and stuffed it in her mouth, mumbling through her mouthful, “I said it’s fine…” Suddenly she squinted from a wet thumb rubbing the corner of her mouth. “Messy is okay, but let’s not get too dirty,” Katherine laughed as she cleaned her mouth, and James chuckled himself. Meanwhile, Dawn furiously tried to keep her knees together, holding back emotionally and physically. “Can I get out of the chair, now?” Dawn asked yet again as her impatience was mounting. James and Katherine were gone from the table, leaving the Little with an empty tabletop and her pleas supposedly being drowned out by the sound of a running kitchen faucet. “Don’t worry, Katherine’s gonna get you out in a second,” James strolled behind her, swiping the sippy cup still a quarter full of water along the way. “Did you like dinner?” “It was fine…” Dawn said again, choosing to leave her review just slightly north of neutral. If cooking shows taught her anything, how the food tasted itself was but a single factor of many that constituted a “good” dish. It was not only that, but the quality of service and establishment that went into it. And given she was refused silverware, served a biased meal, and not even provided a napkin, maybe the real-feel of her scores were actually headed south. “I’m sure I’ll get something you like going soon,” James chuckled like it was a challenge, one of which Dawn did not want to partake in. She didn’t want anything preferential; not somewhere like this. “Okay!” Katherine announced her return, though Dawn couldn’t see. “Bath time!” “Bath time?” James played the game and egged her on. “Nuh-uh, not for you~” She teased right back, finally roping Dawn into their marital banter. “For this little chick-a-dee right here!” Her two fingers found their way underneath Dawn’s chin, lifting her unwilling head up and looking up at the Amazon. “One, two, three spots I can see right here!” she giggled as she pointed out each and every spot and splotch on the girl’s face. Was this teasing? Teasing her over something she wasn’t allowed to refuse? “It’s not like you gave me a choice,” Dawn grumbled and shot her head right back down. “Don’t worry, we’re gonna go clean you up right now. The tub’s filling up right as we speak! Annnd whoosh!” Up she went like a rising star, but just as fittingly she missed the moon and was forced to drift. Riding against Katherine’s hip she held the girl as they made for the living room and then the stairs. “Ope– let’s say goodnight to James right now, okay?” “What? Why?” “Because after your bath it’s gonna be close to bedtime.” “But…!” She wanted to argue the time, but she hadn’t laid her eyes on a set of numbers since getting to this place. “It’s not even late!” “It’s gonna be late,” Katherine corrected, looking like she bested the girl. “You’ve had such a busy day! I bet once we get you dried off and in your PJs you’re gonna feel a whole lot more tired than you are right now.” “No I won’t, because I don’t go to sleep this early!” “Goodnight, Dawn!” James waved from the sink with a soapy hand. “No! Not goodnight, because I’m not going to sleep yet!” Dawn barked back, and all James did was shake his head after looking back down at the sink. “Oh, actually, hon? Did you figure out what you wanted to watch tonight?” “Mmm…not yet,” Katherine shrugged, “but I’ll pick later. But okie-dokie, let’s go before the tub overflows!” “Wait, what? Watching what?” Dawn looked at Katherine, then at James, but they were already moving, so that just left her escort. “Watching what?” she asked again. “Nothing,” Katherine smiled, “just something for us later tonight.” Something after Dawn went to bed. Without her? Fuck, it wasn’t even about being without her! It was the fact that life went on without her. She was being forced to her prison while the wardens got free reign of the palace. She could hear the faintest sounds from downstairs, just as vibrant and lively while she against her will was committed to confinement. “I don’t go to bed this early!” Dawn insisted and fumed, “Just let me go to bed when you two do! Come on, this isn’t fair!” “You’re not going to bed yet, though?” Katherine frowned. “Sweetheart, grown-ups don’t need naps, and it’s easier for us to stay up later,” she calmly explained while they climbed the stairs. “I don’t nap either!” Dawn finally whined. “You just think I do! But I don’t! Let me prove it, at least!” “But you’ve already been napping for two days now?” Katherine countered, and Dawn went ballistic. “Because YOU made me! I didn’t get a choice! You can’t just use that against me…!” “Ahh, hear that?” Katherine tried to change the tune, “I think that’s the tub getting full!” “And stop changing the subject…!” They reached the end of the dark hallway and re-entered the warm light coming from the bathroom ceiling. It was another giant room with all its giant faculties. The shower and tub were separate and the toilet was sitting right between them. The tub lined with an indent in the wall, right next to a door that must have been their closet. A giant mirror spanned the counter opposite to that, right next to the shower, sitting over the counter and sink too high for Dawn to see over on her own. The atmosphere was warm and humid, precisely because the faucet from the corner was gushing steamy water, and a calming buzz-hum from either a heater or fan in the ceiling. “Oops, definitely too much…” and with Dawn still against her, Katherine dropped to her knees, reaching over and turning a flat metal dial. Then an invisible beast made a murky, bubbly groan as the insides of the nearby wall swarbled and gargled the draining water. Down and down, right up until… “Perfect!” Katherine decided, stopping the flow. Dawn was dropped the short distance to her feet, landing on the plush bathroom carpet. Her first instinct was to look at the exit and consider running, but even on her knees Katherine’s feet were on their toes, raising her calves and heels that made for obstacles Dawn would need to hop over if she wanted to break free. “Arms up!” Katherine cheered, and even though Dawn didn’t listen, it didn’t stop the shirt from coming off anyway. The Little expected her bra to go next, but remembered the cruel reality she was given from the sight of her already naked breasts. She covered her chest, but was too slow to remember that there was still more to lose. Katherine grabbed her pants and tugged them off, sending Dawn back on her bottom as all that remained were her socks and diaper. “Did you go pee-pee yet?” Katherine asked, but it very well could have been talking to herself. She stole the socks next, and before Dawn could even decide how she wanted to answer, an invasive finger proved between her diapered front and inner thigh. “Mm…doesn’t feel different. Let’s give it a few minutes.” She managed not to pee herself the entirety of dinner, somehow, but she was certainly at her limit. But what better place could she have been in? “Katherine?” Dawn spoke up as she rose to her feet, stumbling over to the giant toilet. “I can use the toilet! I still need to pee! Please? Please just let me go?” “Mm? Dawn, honey, it’s okay to use your diaper. Look, I’m gonna get your towel and PJs, so I’ll be right back.” In other words, make use of the five seconds of privacy that I’m giving you. Assuming she even meant it like that. Today at the toy store did show that Katherine was cognizant of privacy, but only as far as strangers. Clearly she didn’t consider herself separate from Dawn’s business. And naked from head to toe, save from her diaper already suffering from slight discoloration, Dawn sadly watched the toilet, standing taller and bigger than her, at a size that without a stool or any kind of help she’d have a seriously hard time using. And she looked down at herself, seeing where the padding just started to protrude beyond the plastic landing strip of puppies playing on her personal potty-pad. Something she couldn’t even take off by herself. With a thousand yard stare she watched the toilet, then looked beyond it, now not even able to hide her greatest shame from what she longed for the most. Had the toilet been animate she would have fallen to her knees in tears, pouring out for her imaginary second-boyfriend that this was all some unfortunate misunderstanding. That she was still committed to their relationship and that this wasn’t some horrible relapse. She wasn’t cheating, just…taking a break. A break that hopefully wouldn’t be long. Not a single drop of pee went anywhere but where the Amazons wanted it to, and suddenly Dawn’s diaper had become thicker, heavier, and warmer. With only an ounce of will left to give the toilet any recognition, trapped in her own diaper, salvation felt so frustratingly close, but of course impossibly far away. “Brrr! It feels so chilly in the hallway now!” Katherine giggled as she came back in. With a small bundle of cloth in her arms she gently knocked the door shut with her hip and it closed with a click. Everything she had went on the top of the toilet seat, because what else was it now to Dawn than just a place to park her bottom, assuming she’d even be allowed on it. And as Dawn soaked in a new low, Katherine took the time to feel her soaked diaper once more. “Good job!” the woman praised, and Dawn cringed. The tapes were like magic. Dawn remembered pulling as hard as she could, panting and straining her muscles without it budging in the slightest. They must have had fingerprint recognition from how seamless Katherine made it look and sound. Each tape was pulled with a flick and Dawn could barely feel the resistance pulling her forward. One. Two. Three. Four. Each one undone was an added sense of weight as the security on her hips finally fell through and her diaper dropped with a slump on the carpet. Not another word was spoken on the matter of diapers, at least for now. Katherine rolled up her sleeve, skimming her hand through the bathwater. “That should be good, but let me know if it’s too hot,” and she lifted Dawn up and over. The girl slammed her knees shut and tried to lift her legs– anything to give herself some modesty. The moment her toe touched the water it recoiled from the initial heat, but quickly hot became warm, and the discomfort was just from being apart from hot water for so long. It really had been a while since she bathed… The water only reached somewhere more than half way, but it was more than enough for the girl’s size. “Nice and warm?” Katherine smiled. “It feels fine… Where’s the soap?” Dawn asked, turning in place on her feet. The sooner she finished, the more time she had to try and negotiate a plea deal from later tonight. “Don’t worry, I got it, but thank you for asking!” she sang as she stood on her feet, opening up the closet door that was out of view. “What are you getting in there?” Dawn tried to do the impossible by leaning out to see, but her cheek was already pressing against the tub before she could even get close to seeing around the corner. “Something to keep the soap out of your pretty eyes,” and as she said it, a contraption descended onto Dawn’s head. It was a saucer or donut that went over. Suddenly she was shaded from the light, all except for her scalp. “What…? What did you put on me?” Dawn grumbled and grabbed at the edges of the device, but Katherine was tutting all over again like she did whenever she disapproved. “Ah-ah! No touching. You’re gonna get something in your eye and then it’s gonna sting reeeal bad,” she warned. And then the waistband of her head-frisbee was stretched as Katherine’s hand brushed against Dawn’s head, collecting tufts of hair , lifting then resting atop the silicone paradise above. Was she wearing a visor? Soon after enough adjusting from Katherine’s end Dawn had no more bangs and was just all forehead, and while she turned every which way just to see what she was wearing, it wasn’t to much avail. “Keep that head still…!” Katherine laughed like it was a game, but Dawn wasn’t having nearly as much fun. She couldn’t touch it, couldn’t see it, all because she was being told not to. Would James hit her again if she disobeyed over something like this…? Then she watched Katherine drag a cup through the water, and suddenly a trickle was pouring on the girl’s head. It made her tingle and wiggle, starting from a sensitive place on her scalp that sent vibrations throughout the body. The warmth was spreading all over her head, but she soon started to hear the dripping from the flaps covering the back of her ears and soon watched the rain pour from the visor in front of her. She sat there quietly and listened, then watched. She stared long and hard at the thing just above her vision and coming out from her forehead, finally noticing how yellow it was…and possibly a…design? “Wait– am I wearing one of those stupid things for kids?!” Dawn splashed the water as she stood, and Katherine yelped. Dawn turned her head and so did the visor too. The Amazon was looking down at her chest, now clinging to her skin from where all the tiny streams of water were flung on it. “I knew I should’ve worn a different shirt…” Katherine mumbled to herself, but shifted her focus. “Sweetie, let’s not splash so much, okay?” “Why am I wearing a stupid kid visor?!” Dawn demanded answers, but her shoulders were grabbed and hands dropped on them like gravity times two, putting her back on her bottom. “It’s so you don’t get soap in your eyes, sweetheart,” Katherine said as she scooped another pour of water. “I won’t get soap in them if you just let me clean myself!” “Some spots can be hard to clean, though? I’d really like to help?” “I don’t need your help! Just give me the soap and shampoo; I’ll do it myself!” “Sweetheart, there’s not gonna be any time to read after your bath if you don’t behave…” The woman warned, and it was another knot in Dawn’s stomach after having every little safe haven or benefit used against her. “It’s not going to take long! Just let me prove myself for once. Please!” It wasn’t even as if Katherine sounded mad, or even all that annoyed. She just sighed, like she knew how the story would end and where things would go, and understanding that impression completely made Dawn even more upset. “You’re sure you wanna do it?” “Yes!” God, was she finally going to listen? “...Okay, you can try.” Katherine ever so graciously allowed Dawn to do the thing she’d been doing for herself for almost the entirety of her life. Her hair was like an inverted turnip once the visor came off. The water made it thick and heavy, but the cage around it sculpted it into a momentary bundle that was quickly falling apart. But like a badge of shame, what didn’t go far was the visor. Katherine set it on the edge of the tub, still peeking over, and Dawn could now see that the thing sticking in front of her had been painted as the bill of a duck, right beneath to black and sparkly eyes. Cute for kids, but humiliating for Dawn. “Hold out your hands, please,” Katherine requested, and Dawn complied. She held out a bottle and pumped a light purple substance into her hands. It was fragrant and sweet-smelling, honestly, but her mangled sense of trust could somehow misconstrue anything at this point to be cruel and unforgiving. But most importantly, instead of something at least viscous and closer to gel, this stuff was far more runny and thin, almost like water… “Now you need to spread that around in your hair extra good, okay?” “I know how to wash my hair…” Dawn turned to her side and started lathering, but now with a critic most likely expecting her to fail, she felt the need to be fast and efficient. “Be careful not to get it in your eyes…” Katherine warned again, and Dawn ignored her. I know how to use shampoo… Dawn rolled her eyes, but found that with the amount she was using it was similar to having too much hand sanitizer in one go. In other words, the moment she lathered her hands, excess amounts ended up on the floor. So while she ran her hands through her hair, drops of water went down the sides of her head, and finally the front of her face. But she ignored it and continued, merely blinking it off, but then feeling the need to blink again. Again until she could feel it stinging, and suddenly her eyes slammed shut. “Ah-ow…!” she grumbled and started to rub, but the chance for prevention was gone and all she could do was grow more and more uncomfortable by the second as the stinging continued to permeate. It was actually starting to hurt… But it wasn’t her fault! That stupid shampoo was so runny…! Was it dilated? Did Katherine get scammed? Scam or no scam, it didn’t change the fact that her face was scrunched and she was stumbling in the tub, feeling on the verge of tears. Did someone pepper spray her when she wasn’t looking?! “I know, I know…it stings, doesn’t it?” Katherine was nowhere to be seen (given that Dawn’s eyes were closed), but she was certainly heard. “Can you move your hands for me? Please? I’m gonna make it all better…” And between Katherine’s requests and finally just forcing Dawn’s hands aside, a wet washcloth went against her face, rubbing up and down and gently massaging into her eyes. A hand on her shoulder kept her in place, and she tried not to sniffle as the unbearable pain went away. “Can you try opening your eyes?” She hesitated like it was a trick, or that the shampoo would come back as soon as she opened them. “I-I can still feel it on my forehead…!” Dawn complained, already lashing out. “It’s just water, honey,” Katherine said, but Dawn still felt the cloth wipe above her eyes. Finally she did open back up, only now with a raw feeling around her peepers now that she could see again. She blinked and sniffled just a few more times, but ultimately kept her head tilted back, lest there be more shampoo she still had to wash out. But in spite of the pain and the mistake, it didn’t make her any less upset seeing the baby duck visor coming right back on. “No…” Katherine warned as Dawn started to step away, but she froze. “We let you try, but now I’m gonna do it, okay? I promise that won’t happen again.” A promise that was likely to keep Dawn out of her own way. And Katherine, the devil she was, kept on saying things like they were questions, or kept on “asking” for consent, but doing them anyway whether Dawn disagreed or otherwise. “Wh-what…what do you guys even put in your shampoo? Why is it so runny? Why does that stuff sting…?!” she complained and complained, and they were all fair grievances. Everything Amazons had was so…deceptively difficult…! “Sweetheart, it’s just normal shampoo, but that’s why we need to be careful with that stuff, okay? I’m gonna be extra gentle, so you just relax. But I’m really proud of you for trying!” And that left Dawn in a bitter mood for the rest of the bath. She felt cheated. Had she known how slippery and stupid that stuff was, she could have made a far better impression. One that didn’t beget a sympathetic consolation or pat on the back. So she wore her crown of shame, admittedly anxious now that somehow Katherine would slip up. A whole new batch of liquid death drizzled on her head; probably because the Amazon didn’t even think Dawn’s handiwork was fit to pick up on. She ran it through her hair, slowly and carefully, massaging her scalp in a way that made her head bob and body rock ever so slightly to and fro. Her eyes felt less sensitive and the pain was leaving. Just rhythmic massages for her head and the monotone hum from the bathroom fan. It was sort of hypnotic. Soothing. Katherine didn’t try to talk to her, and Dawn didn’t talk back. Coexisting in somewhat silence. What’s more though was when there was a disturbance from Katherine’s mouth. A melodic hum that was far from a song, but enough repetition to become one with the white noise. The heat, the warm water, her hair being washed…the hum, the rocking, the drifting, the sitting, bending forward…and… “Just a little more to go…” a distant voice said with a chuckle, but it could have been a whisper. It didn’t sting anymore, but Dawn’s eyes were heavy, and suddenly they were flickering like lights, going from opened to closed. Back and forth. Back and forth. Despite her protests, the defiant Little didn’t even make it to the end of her bath. She was dreaming before she even realized it, engrossed in some kind of unintelligible blurb of noises and feelings, but it made enough sense to her sleeping conscience, so she didn’t think a thing of it, not even realizing she was sleeping. The rest of her was cleaned, dried off, diapered, dressed, and finally whisked off to her room, all while she slept away the day’s exhaustion that took a toll on her far more than she ever could have realized. All until she finally opened her eyes with a start, lurching forward. She half expected the splash of water, but it was different. The warm air was gone and the room felt cool. It was dark, save for some moonlight and a crack in the door. Her body was warm and the mattress was cool; a kind of juxtaposition that was pure ecstasy after any long or exhausting day. She even stretched, feeling the gathers of her sleeper at the wrists and ankles stretching with her, and finally hearing the crinkle of a new diaper she never remembered getting put into. Her hand reached out and collided with one of the many bars of her crib, dazed and confused about the details, but aware enough to understand the comfort and her horrid blunder. Not only would there be no reading that night, but no staying up either. Not unless she wanted to sit up in bed the whole night again. She looked down at the fuzzy clothes she was in, brandishing a bumble bee embroidery on her breast. She wiggled her toes, pressing them into the soft mattress, completely and utterly defeated. And the worse part? Faintly, if she leaned her ears against the bars and towards the crack in the door, there was the sound of something. Some show or some movie, but far too distant to sound like anything distinct. But in that moment, she could understand on some level what she was listening to. The jealousy of missing out. “...Shit…” “I’m sorry we didn’t get to read last night,” Katherine apologized, but it didn’t seem like she really minded. “You went out like a light!” “I wasn’t…tired… I just get that way when it’s hot,” Dawn poorly excused herself. “Wait, stop. I can put that on.” “I know you can,” Katherine agreed, but it didn’t stop her from taking the lead. A bundle of shirt was stuffed over Dawn’s head then stretched and smoothened out. “Still dry?” Katherine frowned when she felt the front of her diaper, and Dawn took a step back as she blushed. “Because I don’t need diapers,” she said for the umpteenth time, and Katherine only sighed. “Wanna wear your pants today or something else?” Dawn gave her a weird look. What else was going to cover the diaper? “Pants?” she said it aloud just as skeptically. And a different colored pair went on. Today’s were a faded yellow, which was reminding her of things that made her stomach turn, particularly to do with bathroom habits. “Okay, grab my shoulders and step in,” Katherine beckoned as she slouched over and held open a shoe for her. “I can put on shoes…” Dawn groaned yet again, but stepped in anyway, knowing just as much how little the Amazon would bend. “I can tie them, too.” Certainly not the same way Katherine could, though. She tried to watch her handiwork with the knot again, but it was like she was some kind of master at sleight of hand. Her movements didn’t make sense, and by the time Dawn was done giving up on how to decipher the first step, her foot was already entombed. “Okay…” Katherine made a cursory glance around the room, then settled her eyes on Dawn and lifted her up in the air. “So, are we gonna be good for James today?” “Yeah, maybe if he behaves,” she scoffed, and Katherine hummed her disapproval. “Today’s about you, honey. I wanna hear only good things when I get back today, understood?” More threats over being reported to the secret police. Be good for X and behave this way for Y. Was there anyone she could just be herself around? Everyone was a witness and a snitch, and the constant enforcement of unrealistic standards was making her go insane…! “Dawn?” the girl blinked and Katherine was tilting her head, waiting for an answer. “Fine,” she groaned, then turned her head. They kept walking down the stairs. “And remember, it’s ‘Daddy’ today.” Please don’t fucking remind me. “Okay! She’s all set!” Katherine announced the moment they reached the end of the hall downstairs. The same office Dawn had been creeping into that one night was now bright and full of life. Waver was laying in the corner in his second dog bed, because apparently he was just that pampered, and James was at his desk with three different screens of all different sizes. A notebook filled with scribbles of pen as far as Dawn could tell were all over the pages and his hand was on some weird kind of mouse. “Oh yeah, is she now?” James got up from his seat, smothering Dawn as he kissed his wife. Suddenly she was a rock stuck between a hard and soft place. James was all muscle and Katherine was all…love. Either way, they both had big breasts. “Is it okay if she plays in here?” “I don’t play,” Dawn tried to interrupt, but failed. “Yeah, that’s fine. We’re gonna take off in a few minutes anyways. Think we already lost against the traffic,” James shrugged. “Don’t remind me…” she sighed, setting Dawn down, then clasped her hands. “Okay, I left her diaper bag by the door and packed it with everything you might need. She has her juice, a snack if she gets hungry, some of her blocks, a change of clothes, diapers…wait– I should probably put another pair of socks in there…” “Kat, Kat!” James called, and Dawn felt the vibration in the floor as the herculean giant leaped one step forward for his wife. “It’s fine!” he laughed. “Just a doctor’s appointment?” “And you’re gonna text me once you get there, right? Let me know how it goes?” “I will, I will,” he nodded again, and Dawn fought the urge to keep on being openly pissy. “...Alright…” Katherine gave in, but she sounded just as uneasy, as if the slightest breeze might change her mood entirely. “And don’t forget to ask them about those things we talked about, please?” “Hon, I’m like a steel trap; I won’t forget,” and he kissed her again. “You should get going now or you’re gonna be late?” “I know…” the woman moped again, and unlike Dawn, there wasn’t anyone who could carry the Amazon and make her do what she didn’t want to. How envious. “Dawn…?” She turned her head and Katherine was low to the floor in a squatting position, holding her hands on her knees. “Could I have a goodbye hug?” What, was she actually going to miss her? The sense of attachment and affection was so one-sided that their reactions couldn’t have felt more opposite of one another. Maybe hoping that the silence and inaction would speak for itself, Dawn didn’t move, other than shifting her pupils from side to side. Is somebody gonna get this wackjob out of here? But standing behind Katherine was her significant other, one who was giving her a far less innocent and much more expectant look. She choked down a distasteful sigh and shifted her eyes the other way once she took a hesitant step forward, and that’s all Katherine needed to practically fall forward like a gluttonous leviathan with her talons wrapped around her prey. “Oooou! I’m gonna miss you so much!” Katherine squealed like her batteries were charged and her hopes were as full and vibrant as they’d always been. Dawn hardly even moved her arms, but she felt the death-squeeze from the woman that finally released her. “Have a great day!” James called, and after petting Waver Katherine finally left, ending with the distant shut of the door. “There’s no need to feel so distant, you know,” James said as he hung over his keyboard without sitting back down. “Distant?” Dawn gave his back a sideways look. “You mean be all affectionate with people I’ve known for like three days?” “We’re not strangers, Dawn. I know Katherine’s said it, but I guess I should make it clear too. This is your home. Even if you like to throw tantrums, we still want to take care of you.” “Then start by realizing that I do not throw tantrums,” Dawn spat and crossed her arms. “Everything I’ve said has been fair and valid arguments, but no one ever actually listens! Ugh, forget it. This isn’t worth getting into…” she paced around, then stopped. “And wait, what stuff does Katherine want you to talk about? What did she say?” “Huh? Oh, just some stuff with the doctor.” “Yeah,” Dawn stressed and rolled her eyes. “What stuff?” And James, the increasingly cheeky bastard, had the gaul to grin at her once the computer screens went black and he turned around. “Wanna know that badly?” “Yes, I do, because it’s my business! It’s obviously about me!” Dawn fumed. “Just tell me! I’m gonna hear it anyway once we go, right? So just tell me now!” “I could,” James nodded sagely, but his head stopped, “but, I feel like you wouldn’t be so chatty if you ran out of reasons to talk with me?” She blinked as she scrunched up her nose. “I hate you.” “Hate me?” James said in a taken aback voice. “Yeah, I do. You’ve been nothing but mean to me; pushing me around, telling me what I can and can’t do, hitting me, and then this: talking to me like I’m some sort of friend! You act like you didn’t just get finished beating me then pretend like we’re cool, or something! You think I just forgot something like that? So yeah, James, I hate you. What, you build a bed with bars in a room you’re lending to me? Gee, thanks. I already said I was going to behave for Katherine, but don’t act like that changes how I feel…!” She was breathing over the silence that ensued, and while Dawn stood in a way far more primed for a fight, James looked far more neutral as he stood in place. But the moment he took a step forward it was the fire that lit the fuse for the regret in Dawn’s words. She stumbled back, shying away headlong into fleeing rather than fighting. She talked a big game, but that was it when it came to Amazons, and she’d have it no other way. But she stumbled and fell, scrambling back up on her feet just to backpedal some more. All of this and James never went past the first step. He watched the entire performance and seemed sort of speechless, then finally pulled back. But finally, James said, “We’re…gonna head out in a few minutes, okay?” He had barely moved and only said that? Dawn’s little spurts of adrenaline were already dying as it gave way to confusion, like she was missing something, or was just surprised by the fact that things didn’t go the way she expected. So with no other real sensible thing to do, Dawn slowly dropped her hands and quietly exhaled. “...Yeah.”

Chapter 26: Ellie's Birthday Party “So what’s the plan?” I asked Rose, nervous as heck. “Well they’ll arrive soon. They’ve been given the tea to drink, which should be in their system by now. When they arrive they will only see you as my babygirl. They won’t remember much of your old life with them, only that you were part of it. It’ll be like you were their friend but also my baby. It’s complicated. And then when they go home later, they’ll forget all this ever happened and go back to their normal memories of you.” “So they’ll see me as a baby AND a friend?” “Yeah, I think. It was easier with the villagers as they don’t know you. But your friends have had years of memories with you. Instead of the new, temporary fake memories overwriting their original memories, it’ll kind of... merge? I’m guessing they’ll see you as a baby who was also their best friend maybe? But that you were always my baby. Again, never done this before, so we’ll have to test it first. And if it fails, I can wipe their memories and send them home.” “Okay. I think... I think I can do this. When do they arrive?” “In two minutes.” “TWO MINUTES?” I blurted out. Rose quickly shoved a dummy into my mouth, silencing me. “Be a good girl.” She kissed my forehead and smiled. I blushed and hung my head as a portal appeared in the hallway. “Hello?” Stella called out. “Rose? Are you there?” Rose walked out of the living room and into the hallway to greet them, leaving me sat on the living room floor on a playmat with some toys. “Hey you three! Glad you could come!” I could hear them clearly from this distance, but they couldn’t see me. “We couldn’t miss our little Ellie’s birthday party!” Willow said excitedly. “Did you follow the instructions?” Rose asked. “Uh huh. No idea why you asked us to try the tea.” ‘Well that’s a good sign!’ “Just seeing how well the tea tastes, thinking of offering it to more people. I developed it myself.” Rose was lying to them, sure, but she had gained consent from them beforehand apparently. Not that she told them exactly why she needed an evening of their life with no memories of it for them to remember. Apparently she had just told them that it was a surprise for my birthday party. They agreed, not looking further into it. “Well I thought it was yummy!” Alex said. “So... are you ready to see the birthday girl?” Rose pointed her arms towards the living room. “I’ve never been to a baby’s birthday party before...” Stella commented. ‘There! It’s worked! Or else they wouldn’t have known anything about it being a baby’s birthday party!’ And as my three best friends in the world walked in, my face turned crimson and I froze solid, waiting for their reaction. “D’aww! She’s so precious!” Willow squealed. “Oh my god! Can I hold her?” Stella turned around to look at Rose. “Of course you can. Would you like to feed her a bottle?” “Can I?” “Of course you can. Why don’t you go pick her up and get her settled on your lap on the sofa? I’ll go get you a bottle you can feed her.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rose flick her wrist towards me, and suddenly I felt a slight tingle of magic surround me. ‘What did she just...’ My question was answered as soon as Stella reached down and picked me up effortlessly. Rose must have cast a spell that makes me weigh as much as a baby. Good thinking. “Come on you little cutiebutt! Let’s go get you settled with Auntie Stella!” Stella said, holding me in her arms and settling down on the sofa, cradling me. As I looked up at one of my closest friends, feeling more vulnerable than I had ever felt, I couldn’t help but see a new side of her. Like this is part of who she was, a part even she may have never gotten to explore. Maybe she wasn’t a Mummy like Rose, but she definitely gave off a maternal vibe. And as she gently rocked me, the nervousness I was feeling over being in this situation, letting this side of myself be seen by people I would have never have let seen, washed away, instead being replaced by a feeling of joy, acceptance and happiness. That feeling continued as Rose walked back in, holding a bottle of milk and handing it to Stella. “Here you go sweetie.” Rose said, smiling at me but handing the bottle to Stella. “Thanks Rose.” Stella replied. Stella gently rested the teat of the bottle on my lips and I opened up, letting her push it further in. I started suckling, and suddenly tasted something I quickly recognised as the milk from before... Rose’s breast milk. I started blushing more, but as the sweet milk ran down my tongue, I couldn’t help but feel even more happiness and joy. That was until I saw Alex’s face. As I nursed on the bottle Stella was holding, dressed up like a giant baby, in a stupidly thick nappy, my friend Alex stood in the doorway, just staring at me. ‘What’s up with him? Did... did the spell work?’ Before panic set in, he quickly rushed over with the biggest smile on his face and tickled my tummy, causing me to spit up a bit and giggle. “Careful Alex! She could choke!” Stella scolded him. “Sorry, I just got super excited at the little baby looking at me. I couldn’t resist!” “Well be more careful next time. You can hold her and tickle her when I’m done feeding her.” Alex sat patiently as Stella fed me the rest of the bottle. Willow was sat nearby, watching us. Despite being dressed like this, I felt... at peace. It was now Alex’s turn to hold me. Stella lifted me up carefully, holding me over her shoulder and patting my back. That’s when I realised just what she was doing, and humiliatingly, I burped. “There we go. Now you can go to Uncle Alex!” Stella said, smiling at me and handing me over to Alex, who sat me on his lap. I sat there, looking at his face, waiting for him to say or do something. “Oh I know! How about a horsey ride?” he said. Alex bounced his legs up and down gently, making me bounce with them, squishing my padded bum on his lap. I couldn’t help but giggle and play along. “You’re such a little cutie! Miss Rose is the luckiest Mummy!” My friends started talking between themselves as Alex kept bouncing me gently on his lap. They kept talking about things in the city, as if I wasn’t an adult. I was a bit sad to hear them talk to each other as if I didn’t exist in their lives anymore, but to be fair, I had been with Rose for a month now, and I wondered if they missed me. Not that I’d find out right now, to them I’m a full time baby with Rose, to their knowledge I don’t have a life in the city with this spell. That’s when Rose walked back in. I hadn’t even noticed she had gone, but I could smell something yummy coming from the kitchen, so I assumed she must have been working on something whilst my friends babied me. “Now... who wants cake? After we’ve got some cake feeding pictures with my babygirl of course!” Rose announced. Stella and Willow were up like a shot, and already out of the living room. Alex kept bouncing me on his lap, slowing the speed until it came to a gentle stop. “Can Uncle Alex get a cuddle?” I nodded and smiled from behind my dummy. He pulled me close and I wrapped my arms around his neck so our heads were beside each other. “Baby Ellie... I didn’t know this was a part of you. I should have seen it sooner. I always knew there was a softer, more innocent side behind that tough Witch exterior. And I knew about the accidents too.” I pulled back quickly in fear. “Wha?” I said, the dummy making my words sound more babyish despite the fear in my voice. “Rose’s little spell was good. It worked on the other two. But I had been testing a new mixture for Willow. She’s been getting into alchemy lately, and I’m her guinea pig. Her little mixture must have cancelled out the effects of Rose’s tea.” “So... you...” “I’m not under her spell, little Ellie.” He grinned. “Wha... buh... I mean... wha are you gonna do about dis?” “Nothing. Oh sweet little Ellie. My lips are sealed. You were always like a little sister to me, even if you always saw me as your little brother. I’ve been protecting you and looking out for you since we first met as kids. And this explains a lot. So don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I promise. Pinky promise.” He held out his pinky finger and I hesitantly shook mine with his. “No judgement from me Noelle. I’m glad you finally found this part of you. And I’m so happy Rose is going to such lengths to make you happy. She really is something special. As are you. And I’m so happy you found each other.” I blushed. “So don’t worry, I won’t ruin anything. I’m still your Uncle Alex. I don’t expect anything and I’m not going to tell anyone. I won’t hold this over you or tease you. At least not enough to make you uncomfortable. I can see from your face you like a bit of teasing...” I blushed more. “So little Ellie... how about we go get you some cake?" Alex walked into the kitchen, holding me in his arms. “Babygirl. Are you okay? You two were gone a long time...” Rose looked at Alex suspiciously before walking over and taking me from him. As she gently rocked me in her arms I whispered up to her. “He knows. The spell didn’t work. But it’s okay.” Rose’s face turned serious for a second before she put me down in my highchair in the kitchen. In front of me was a large pink princess cake with a little candle sticking out the top that had the number one on it. My focus on the cake was quickly turned away when I saw Rose look at Alex. “Alex. Can I speak to you in the living room please? It won’t take long.” Rose said. I could hear the anger in her voice. Alex looked terrified. Like he was in trouble. So he followed quickly behind her and she shut the living room door. Stella and Willow continued to baby talk to me and play with me as I sat in the highchair, often tickling my feet or commenting about how cute my hair is. I would have loved to have enjoyed it more, and normally I would, but right now I was a bit concerned for Alex. Five minutes later, Alex walked out followed by Rose. She walked over the highchair and bent down so I was within earshot. “It’s okay. We had an honest talk. He knows of this kink and I trust him. He’s not into it himself, but he’s got his own. So you can feel safe, even if he’s not under the spell. Plus I may have threatened him with nappies and some public humiliation if he ever let slip...” “You never!” I said as my dummy fell out into my lap. “A Mummy’s gotta do what a Mummy’s gotta do. Anything to protect my little princess. Now... are you ready for some cake?” As my friends and Rose stood around the cake, all looking at me, I couldn’t help but feel more happy than I had ever felt in my life. Rose started singing again, with her perfect soothing voice. “Happy birthday to you...” My friends joined in. “Happy birthday to you...” they all sang. “Happy birthday dear Ellie... Happy birthday to you!” And that’s when my little heart couldn’t take anymore. Happiness flowed through my body, making me feel more complete than ever. The place felt... brighter. Like the shade of the world had been cast off and there was nothing but love that remained. I looked at Rose, with nothing but love and happiness, and she looked back at me... squinting her eyes a bit and looking puzzled. Doubt entered my mind and started spreading, causing my anxiety to return and the shade of the world coming back to return the place to normal. Thankfully Rose rushed over and kissed my cheek, making the anxiety go back into hiding again. Waving her hand, the kitchen knife lifted off the table and floated through the air, hovering over the large princess cake. Slowly cutting down into it, it continued to do this until the cake was cut up into many slices. The first slice started floating through the air, stopping a couple of inches away from my face. I blushed. I knew what was going to happen. And so it did. The cake lunged forward, smushing itself against my face, causing it to go everywhere. “D’awww! She’s so cute!” Stella squealed. “Don’t worry babygirl, you’ll get an actual piece. I’ve been dying to do that.” I pouted at Rose, who just couldn’t stop smiling at me. ========================================================== I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Witch in Training. The first tier is purely for supporting my writing. Access to my Discord server is included with both tiers, where people can discuss early access chapters, although it seems most of them use it just to tease me ? New chapters every Wednesday/Sunday! Don't forget to check out my third story, Glitch in Nanny!

Chapter 25: Toy Shop As Noelle lay in my arms, gently suckling at my breast, I couldn’t feel more complete. Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed I’d have someone so beautiful, so amazing, so... perfect, suckling from me as she was wrapped in a thick nappy and actually enjoying it. So I made sure to savour every second of this as if it was the last time it’d ever happen. “Is it good sweetpea?” I asked, looking down at her beautiful face. She blushed and nodded. I stroked the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear and gently running my fingers down her cheek. “I love you babygirl.” I hadn’t said that to anyone before. It just... came out. Like it was natural. I wasn’t lying when I said it either. Sure, it hadn’t been long with her, but it felt like years, despite it only being a month. We connected in a way that I never thought I’d bond with another person before. And when I looked down at her adorable little face, I didn’t see panic or fear or someone who was uncomfortable by those 4 little words I uttered... it was someone who clearly felt the same way. She pulled away from my breast, wiping her mouth with her hand. I pulled my bra and dress back up. “Done?” I asked. She nodded and smiled, sitting up and looking at me directly in the face. “I love you too Mummy." My heart nearly exploded when I heard those words. Just as when I told her I loved her, hearing it from her felt just natural. “Come here sweetheart!” I pulled her in for a cuddle, holding her close and kissing her head. “I’ve never felt like this before with anyone. Thank you for seeing me for who I really am. And thank you for helping me discover this side of me...” as she poured her heart out to me, her face got redder. “I love you with all my heart Ellie. You will always be my babygirl, okay?” She nodded and smiled. That image would be stored in my brain for the rest of time. “So baby, I guess you aren’t hungry anymore...” “Umm... no... sorry...” she replied. “Shhhhh. Nothing to be sorry for. I wasn’t expecting to feed you. It was a nice surprise. Did you enjoy it at least?” “Uh huh. It was... I mean I can’t say it wasn’t embarrassing, but the feeling... the closeness... the taste... everything about it was just... perfect.” “Good. I’m glad you enjoyed it. When I went to the other dimension I saw that the taller ones produced milk and fed the small ones they kept as babies. Apparently it was very addictive and caused the littles to lose all control. I tried to imitate the taste, but I couldn’t manage it without it taking on the less ideal properties.” “You’ll have to tell me about this other dimension sometime. And how you can travel between here and there.” “All in good time sweetie. For now, let’s get you back in your stroller and head back into town. I think someone’s earned a toy for being so good!” “A toy? For... me?” she looked genuinely surprised. “Of course baby, why? Why wouldn’t I get you a toy?” “Umm... I don’t know. I just... I haven’t been bought anything before. Like I’ve had gifts for birthdays and Christmas... and I get free stuff from deals and companies... but no one has ever bought me anything because they wanted to for no other reason.” “Then that makes this extra special. Good. Let’s go get you something. You can pick out any toy you want from the shop.” “Any?” “Any babygirl.” She squealed and wiggled her cute little padded bum on my lap. “Hmm... can I try something babygirl? It requires a spell I’ve been working on.” “Umm... what’s it gonna do Mummy?” “Do I have permission to cast it on you? It’ll only last until we get home.” “I... I trust you. Okay, you can do it.” Channelling the spell I had only attempted on Jinx, Noelle started to glow. “Mummy? Is... is this supposed to happen?” “Yes baby, just give me one... second! Done!” She looked at me with a mix of fear and confusion. So I quickly grabbed her and held her close, stroking her hair. “What... what on earth?” Noelle said with a much lighter, higher-pitched voice. “I can reverse it if you want?” “Umm... I... I don’t know.” “How about you stick with it for a little bit. At any time you feel uncomfortable, just say and I’ll reverse it. You can also reverse it yourself with a simple nullification spell.” “Okay... I can deal with that. Umm... why did you want to do this?” She pointed at herself, at the change I had made. Instead of my girlfriend who was normally only a few inches smaller than me, here stood my girlfriend who was now less than half my height. She still had the same body, the same shape. She was still a perfectly proportioned adult. But now she was two or three feet tall. “Well talking about the littles and stuff got me thinking. Then I had this urge to keep you close and not put you back in your stroller. This way...” I conjured a harness that wrapped around my body, the kind where you’d put a baby on the front and they’d hug your chest. “Oh! I... I mean... that sounds fun...” she started blushing again and my heart melted. I was so glad I came up with this idea, because putting her back in her stroller would have been agony. I needed her close to me. I picked up the changing bag from the back of the stroller and whisked my hand, causing the stroller to disappear. “Come on then petal, up you go!” I said as I picked her up and placed her perfectly in the harness. She was pressed against my chest, hugging me and I felt so close to her in this moment. “I... I like dis.” She commented. “Me too. Don’t worry, this isn’t permanent. I don’t quite get the height thing that the other dimension has. My friend fell in love with a little and I always wondered how they had a relationship when she was twice her wife’s height.” “That sounds... awkward.” “But hey, they looked happy. And right now, I get to keep you close and walk around town with you attached to me. When we get home I’ll let you out and we can go back to normal, okay?” “Otay Mummy.” My heart melted again. Those two simple words could do more damage to me than she realised. I waved my hand, conjuring a dummy and placing it in her mouth. “Now, let’s go get you a toy shall we?” As we walked across the side of the lake, the warmth of the sun on our skin, I looked down at my now-tiny girlfriend and smiled. “You okay poppet? Not too weird being two or three feet tall?” “It... weird, Mummy. Buh it nice being dis close to you!” “Hehe, good. Just tell me if it gets too much okay?” She nodded and rested her head on my chest. We strolled through the village, waving back at the residents as they waved to us. Occasionally we’d get stopped by someone, and they’d dote on Noelle in the harness on my chest, cooing and baby talking to her as if she was an actual baby. I was still so happy that my spell had worked. I had wanted this birthday to be special for her, and so far... I think I nailed it. Each time we got stopped, Noelle would get blushy and try to hide her face in my chest. I think she was glad she had the dummy in her mouth, that meant she didn’t have to talk back to these people, currently twice her height, as they baby talked to her. “Thanks! I’ll be sure to pop round sometime soon and have a look at your garden for you. Thanks Tom.” I said, walking away from one of my neighbour’s front gates. “Dat was... embawwassing!” Noelle said. She was quiet as a mouse whilst I chatted to the villagers. “D’aww, you’re so cute when you try to talk from behind that dummy!” I grinned. And as expected, and planned, she blushed, hiding her face in my chest one more time. I had planned that perfectly, because as she looked up once again, her eyes widened in wonder at the toy store that stood in front of us. “Is... is dis it?” “Yes babygirl. It’s not as big as all the city toy stores, but it’s still very cute and has a good selection. Remember, you can pick one toy. Anything at all.” Her legs kicked and she tried wiggling in the harness. She seemed genuinely excited, confirming everything. No vanilla or non-little would get this excited over a toy store. Opening the door, the bell above the door rang. The store wasn’t very big. Three small-ish aisles full of toys. The whole place was decked in natural materials, looking very much like an old school toy shop. The actual toys on offer were a mix though, some were traditional toys like teddy bears, wooden trains, rocking horses, but mixed in were a bunch of newer toys like electronic interactive baby toys and modern looking dolls and playsets. I was sure Ellie would be able to find something in here that she liked, even if the selection wasn’t as big as one in the city. “Oh hey Rose!” I heard from the counter. Looking over, I saw George, the owner of the shop. “What can I do for you today?” he said as I walked up to the counter, Ellie hiding her face once again. “I promised little Ellie here that she could pick out any toy she wanted.” “Any toy? Oh wow. Special occasion?” “She was a good girl today and I wanted to treat her.” Noelle looked up at me and pouted. “And it’s her birthday.” She scrunched up her nose at me and hid her face again. “Well happy birthday little Ellie! How old is she?” George asked. “She’s... two.” I said, knowing I’d get a reaction out of her. Which I did. Her little padded bum wiggled about in the harness. “They grow up so fast don’t they?” George commented. “They do. But I hope she doesn’t grow up too soon. I love having my babygirl...” Noelle clutched onto my cardigan and I knew she had no intention of ever growing up for good. “Well have a look around; if you need assistance, I’ll be here, okay?” “Okay, thanks George!” I said, walking off into the aisles. As we walked up and down the aisles repeatedly, I kept pointing out toys that may be fun for Noelle to play with in littlespace. But every time, she said no. Back and forth, up and down the aisles, going past toys we had looked at only moments before... she just couldn’t decide. “Is there nothing you like Ellie?” “I... I can’t decide Mama...” she whispered to me. “Hmm... one second. I’ve got an idea.” I turned around to the counter. “George? Have you still got those cute little comforters? The ones with the animals built into the blanket?” “I think I’ve got a couple left in the back room. I’ll just go check.” I walked over to the counter with Noelle still in the harness. Bouncing up and down slightly, she seemed to enjoy the gentle motion. I was sure she still hadn’t realised just how much of a little she is... it was like she was born for this. Just like I was born to be a Mummy to one. “Here you go. There’s three left.” George said, placing the little coloured blankets on the counter. Each one had a different animal head attached to it. “Would you like one of these babygirl?” I asked Noelle. Noelle started clapping excitedly. “I think she likes them. Go on baby... pick one of them.” There was a lion, an elephant and a unicorn. “No lion.” She whispered to me, still too shy to talk in front of this stranger to her. “She doesn’t like the lion one.” I said. George moved it out of the way. “What about the others baby?” “Umm... I can’t decide...” “Well you unicorns are cute. But Ellie... elephant...” “ELEPHANT!” She shouted out. “D’aww, she’s very happy about that one!” “Wait... can he understand me?” I shook my head. “So what do I sound like to him now? Baby babble?” I nodded and smiled. “AHHHH I WET MY NAPPY AND I LIKE IT!” she screamed. I couldn’t help but giggle as she realised what she had just said. Sure, George couldn’t understand her, all that came out of her mouth was baby babble to him. But she just admitted something very blushy in front of her Mummy. Her Mummy who understood every word she just said... “Umm...” she couldn’t stop blushing. “I think my baby is a bit soggy, so I’ll need to go change her. Hurry up babygirl, pick one.” She started blushing and pointed to the elephant comforter. “I’ll take the elephant one then please George.” I quickly paid him and picked the comforter up, handing it to Noelle. “Happy now babygirl?” She nodded and blushed into her new little friend. Her new little friend who must have seemed massive to her whilst she was this height. When she returns to her normal height, he’ll be much smaller. But I could easily make it scale with her... As we exited the store, I looked over to the hill where my little cottage stood. “Now baby, we better get home. We’ve got guests coming.” “Guests?” She looked shocked and surprised. “I invited your little friends over.” “YOU INVITED MY FRIENDS?” “Don’t worry babygirl, they will be under the same spell as the rest of the village. And we’ll make sure it works before they see you like this. If that’s too much, we can cancel everything.” “I...” She really struggled with this idea. I could tell. But I think she was enjoying this too much to give up on it now, and she seemed to enjoy the villagers all treating her like a baby, because she eventually smiled at me. “Okay. I trust you. If they work the same as the villagers, then yes." “Good. Because I’ve got a whole birthday party planned for you back at the house and our guests arrive soon!” ========================================================== I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! Thank you to all my patrons for their support! Don't forget, the next 4 chapters are available on my Patreon, which can be found here if you go for the second tier. You get two weeks early access to chapters of Witch in Training. The first tier is purely for supporting my writing. Access to my Discord server is included with both tiers, where people can discuss early access chapters, although it seems most of them use it just to tease me ? New chapters every Wednesday/Sunday! Don't forget to check out my third story, Glitch in Nanny! I've managed to pick up the pace whilst writing Glitch in Nanny, getting about 2 chapters done per day, which is nice after struggling to write for a while now. I've only got about 9 chapters to write, then I can finally start work on Book 4! I'm so excited!

This is my first attempt at a story. I think I did ok. (IMHO) But I know I can do better. I am open to any constructive criticism. Thanks! Growing up, my kid sister Lisa and me had different Daddy’s. They both musta not loved us very much, since they stopped coming around. I just turned 9 and she was 4. I hadn’t seen my Daddy since I was 6. I don’t even know if Lisa remembers hers. Mommy was pretty independent and didn’t have to rely on anyone to raise us. I was a nervous kid and ever since I can remember, I wet my bed. Not every night, but at least a few times a week. And it made Mommy frustrated always having to wash my bedclothes and sheets. Especially after I turned 9. She would say more about it than she use to. Like how I should be a big boy. Because only babies wet their bed. She kept saying if it continued she was going to have to do something about it. I guess she thought that because Lisa didn’t do it, I was way too old to be wetting the bed. Then one day, Mommy said... ”If you wet your bed any more, I’m going to buy you Pampers and make you start wearing them to bed.” She said, “if you’re going to act like a baby, then you’ll wear diapers like a baby!” I was so embarrassed. Mommy wasn’t mean. She just had her way of taking care of a problem. And I guess this was her solution to the wet sheets and pajamas. So after that, I tried really hard. Nothing to drink after dinner. And pee really good, especially before bed. I did really good the first week, and Mommy was so proud of me. She even said she would give me a surprise at the end of the month. But, after that, for some reason, I got really anxious. It was in the second week after having some dry nights. I woke up to a wet bed. I tried to hide it from Mommy, but how could I? So I just decided I better tell her instead of her finding out on her own. ”Mommy, I have something to tell you.” she could tell I was almost ready to cry. So she stopped what she was doing and listened to me. ” I don’t know what happened, maybe Lisa did it with a cup...” She didn’t have to listen any longer. “You wet your bed, didn’t you???” She didn’t sound angry. Just frustrated that I would try to blame it on someone else. Unfortunately Lisa knew what was going on with me too. Mommy said, “Well I guess it’s first time in over a week, so we just have to try again.” She didn’t say anything about it after that. After that, I thought everything was going to be ok. I was thirsty after dinner a lot, and when I went to potty, I pushed any pee out so hard it hurt. A couple nights later, I don’t remember much. The night before, I kept getting up in the middle of the night to go potty. So the next evening I kept falling asleep while watching TV. Lisa kept waking me up and making me mad. So even though I musta been half asleep, I went to my room. Mommy didn’t know till later since she was in the kitchen washing dishes from dinner. Lisa told her where I was. So she came to check on me and saw that I was already in bed asleep. So she left me alone. The next morning, when I woke up, I wet my bed a lot because I didn’t potty before bed the night before. I didn’t even have to tell Mommy. It was Saturday and she came in to see if we were up. ”What happened?” she asked. I tried to think of a good excuse, but she stopped me and said that I must be going back to my old ways. ”You know we have to do something?” When she said that, I knew what she meant. Mommy was going to go to the store and buy me Pampers and I would have to wear diapers to bed. I have to admit, inside I was kind of relieved, because I was so stressed and exhausted from all the trying. But I kept saying “Mommy, I won’t do it again, I promise!” While I helped take the sheets off my bed, Lisa stood outside my room and giggled. She said “Honey, Mommy loves you, but what’s done is done. We talked about this way too many times and it’s just something we have to do.” After lunch, I was feeling kinda scared about what was to come. Lisa was going to go to to dance practice. So Mommy was going to drop her off. At least that was a good thing. Because I didn’t want Lisa coming with us or saying anything to me. Then we had an hour to go to the store. There were a few things Mommy had to get anyway, but then I knew what was next. “Hold on to the cart, and lets get this done, ok?” I was almost ready to cry, but I held it back. We headed for the baby section. Luckily they kept all the diapers kinda way back in that part. But there were a lot of mothers, some with babies there too. Mommy looked at the Pull-Ups thinking they might work just as good. Then she looked at price and also remembered how they would leak on Lisa back when she was potty training. The Pampers were cheaper than pull-Ups. Mommy said that she wanted to make a point that as long as I kept having accidents, I had to wear diapers. So she grabbed the biggest size and headed to check out. I thought we were going to get out of there fast. Pick up Lisa and go straight home. Of course Kim, a friend of hers from work was coming down the aisle. So she had to stop long enough to say hi and stuff. I tried to wander off, but Mommy said we had to get going to get my sister. Before she said bye to her friend Kim, I know she saw the diapers in the cart. Kim also knew Lisa was fully potty trained at 18 months so they weren’t for her. I got red in the face when she had to know that they were for me. Mommy tried hard not to let Lisa see the Pampers when we got home. She took them to my room and put them in my top drawer where she couldn’t find them. After that, the afternoon seemed like it was so long. And when i was in my room playing, I got curious. I wanted to see what they looked like. So I closed my door and snuck over to open my drawer without making a sound. They smelled good. The same baby smell that I remembered last time there were diapers in our house, which was a very long time ago. I kept watching the clock in the early evening. After dinner, I still had the same rules, no liquids and try to potty a lot before bedtime. The thing I didn’t expect was a new rule. “Your new bedtime is 7:30. So go get ready to take a bath.” I didn’t understand at first what she meant. ”Mommy, that’s an hour before Lisa even had to be in bed! Why???” She said, “When you were two, that’s what time you went bed. So you know why.” I slowly went to my room to get my pajamas. She came by to start the water. Then came in my room, and opened my top drawer. She took the package of Pampers and pulled out a diaper. Then said, “For now on, don’t forget to always get one of these before your bath.” Then took it and me by my hand to bathroom. Lisa was peeking around the corner, but Mommy told her to the living room and watch TV. ”I need you to try to potty before and after your bath.” I wasn’t use to her seeing me naked at my age. But she said, “I’m your Mommy, don’t be ashamed.” So I took off my pants, shirt, and then my socks and underwear. I felt kinda funny, but I kept remembering that she was Mommy and it was ok. If it helps, you might want to sit down to potty. It covered my bare bottom, so it sounded like a good idea. “Mommy, I just can’t go right now.” ”Ok, we’ll try again after your bath.” Then she helped get me in the tub and left me alone for a few minutes to go and check on Lisa. When she came back, she checked to make sure my hair was clean. And then took me out of the tub, helped dry off and had me brush my teeth. ”Ok, I’m going to go do something for a minute, I will leave so maybe you can go potty easier without me in the room. Just relax and let it go.” This was my chance to get it all out. The more I thought about it, the more I tensed up. But I managed to get some out, just not as much as I should. I guess I was nervous more about what was to come next. I sat on the potty for what felt like an eternity. Then I heard Mommy coming down the hall. ”Ok, hon... Let’s make this as easy as possible. I need you to lay down on the rug on you bottom.” I felt so vulnerable while I slowly got on the floor. But a feeling of safety and security came over me when I saw my Mommy and hadn’t felt that way in years. ”Ok, I need you to spread your legs and lift your bottom when I ask you to.” She took the pajamas and the diaper off the counter and laid them next to me on the floor. Then took the diapers and opened it up. ”Ok, lift up you bottom.” Actually I think she was a little nervous, but tried not to show it. ”Spread your legs a little more then put your bottom back down when I say.” I did just as Mommy told me, fully trusting her. ”There, you can get up now.” She helped me and we both couldn’t help but look. Here I was, 9 years old and back in Pampers like a two year old. She quickly got my pajamas and for some reason, helped me into them. I guess she didn’t even think about it that I could of put those on myself. ”Are you ok?” she asked reassuring. “yes Mommy.” Then I gave her a hug before she took me by my hand to my room. The clock said 7:35. She pulled the nice clean sheets over so I could climb into my bed. She got me tucked in and sat on my bed next to me for a few minutes. ”Are you tired?” actually I was, but I didn’t answer either way so not to let her know. “I’ll be right in the living room if you need anything, ok?” She seemed concerned that I was ok, but I felt more love from her than in a long time. “Ok Mommy, I’ll be alright.” then lifted up and gave her another hug. I think that reassured her that she did the right thing, since I wasn’t mad at her and said “I love you, Mommy” “I love you too! Goodnight...” Then she slowly got up, switched off my light and stood at the door for a few seconds. I rolled over on my side smiling, but not letting her see. Because I knew no matter what, I wasn’t going to wake up to a wet bed the next morning.