Leaderboard

Chapter 14- Adventures in Petsitting pt. 2 My second day with Ruby wasn’t really going any better than the first. After I had the bright idea to a sneak a cookie from the partially open bag she left out in living room, I found myself scolded and leashed to the couch. This left me a captive audience as she started going on and on about her plans for own eventual pet as I laid there apathetically. She couldn’t help herself from tossing in another passive-aggressive comment about how she was going condition her pet to love attention from all humans. With tactless jabs like those, Ruby really was the perfect target to project all my frustration onto over becoming a pet. “Maybe you two could be playmates. Oooh, like pet cousins!” she gushed, “Oh my god, that’s so flippin' cute!” “That is, if you ever Bond to someone and if you end up on that side of leash,” I snidely inserted. “Look, I was born to be a Keeper. I read all the books, I listen to the podcasts, I watch the reality TV shows— ‘Pets of the Stars’, ‘Real Life of Pets.’ I’m basically an unbound Keeper.” “Pfft, you are not a Keeper,” I scoffed. “You wouldn’t get it, there’s just no way you could understand the Bond.” I smirked, relishing the chance to be the smug one. “But maybe you’ll be able to when you finally do Bond and become a pet.” “Oh my god, are all new pets this bratty or were you just plain rude as a human too?” she huffed. “I would never let my pet talk back the way you do.” “Well I’m not your pet, I’m Annie’s. And I don’t need to talk back to her because she’s not a dick.” Ruby was standing over me in a flash, faster than I was ready for. She gripped my leash tight so I was forced to stare up at her. Despite my resolve, I felt my body instinctively cowering as my submissive nature bared itself. “You are such a bad boy! You are so lucky Annie told me I couldn’t muzzle you, or wash your mouth out with soap.” Her furrowed brow turned to a smirk, “But…I can put you in a timeout. And I think it’s well deserved. So let’s go, little pup,” she chirped. She tugged on my leash enough to get me to come down off the couch, pulling me in the direction of my cage. I used all my strength to pull back. “No! That’s not fair! I didn’t do anything!” “You’re being disrespectful and acting like a spoiled brat,” she retorted and continued to drag me. “This is bullshit! Just because you get off acting like a Keeper doesn’t mean I should have to suffer.” “And swearing too. Bad boy! Bad bad boy! Move, Oliver. Now,” she warned. “Do you really want me to tell Annie you disobeyed like this?” I huffed loudly and relented, letting her lead me to the kennel. With a firm hand on my padded bottom she pushed me in and quickly latched the door shut. “Annie is going to be so disappointed in you, pet," she said before walking away. Those words punched me in the gut. If Ruby knew what that meant to a pet, it would’ve been cruel. I wanted to bark something back at her but she had left and I was too emotional for any quick wit anyway. Is she right? Did I let Annie down? Of course I did. Ruby is her sister and I made her hate me. I’m such a selfish pet. I felt the coldness of my Keeper’s disappointment wrap around me. I tried to warm myself with the blanket, but it wasn’t enough. I could barely smell Annie, at least not nearly enough to calm me down. The sweater she left for me filled with her scent was still on the couch. I wanted to ask Ruby for it so badly but my pride and embarrassment wouldn’t let me. My disdain for her grew. None of this felt fair, and I hated that I was now saddled with this person in my life. Sleep was out of the question given my emotional state, and hearing Ruby’s idle chuckles as she scrolled through her phone while I was caged with nothing to do but wallow. She should be the one locked away in a cage, on a leash. I didn’t have a good sense of time since bonding; minutes sometimes felt like hours, while time spent with my Keeper flew by. I held out as long as I possibly could in the cage before getting up and looking out to catch a glimpse of Ruby eating some sort of avocado toast and watching TV. “Ruby, I’m sorry,” I announced, swallowing my pride. “Yeah, I bet you are,” she said nonchalantly, taking another bite of her snack. “Come on, Ruby, you made your point. Let me out. I’m cold.” “Oliver, you don’t tell me an adult to do anything. You ask. So ask me.” I bit my tongue. “Can you please let me out?” “And what are you not going to do anymore?” “I’m not going to…” I gritted my teeth, “talk back to you.” “Because you’re a what?” She’s the fucking worst. “Because I’m a pet.” “Good boy.” She moved to unlock the cage. “How’s your diapey?” she asked. “It’s fine,” I lied. “Ah ah ah, not so fast,” She caught me and felt around for herself. “Even if you were being incredibly snotty, Annie would kill me if I left you a soggy diaper for long. Come on, let’s change you. Diaper change time!” I was too defeated to put up a fight. I was still devastated thinking about how Annie was going to react to me defying Ruby. I stayed silent anything as Ruby swaddled my bottom in one of the horribly embarrassing diapers with infantile prints on them. I immediately b-lined for Annie’s sweater. It helped but I still felt cold. And humiliated. “I want to take a nap in Annie’s bed,” I said to Ruby as innocently as I could. “She said it was fine. Please can I?” “Why, so you can get into some mischief where I can’t see you?” “No! I won’t do anything, I swear! Leash me up, stay in there with me— I don’t care. I’m just so cold. Please.” I saw her face soften, as if she actually was a normal empathetic human. “Fine.” She picked up my leash and led me to the bedroom. I curled up in the fetal position, face buried in the pillows, trying to surround myself in Annie’s scent— anything I could to do alleviate the gray, murky cloud hanging over me. I was grateful Ruby left the room. I tried to keep my sniffling tears as quiet as possible. I woke up to Annie picking me up and pulling me into her lap. I immediately wrapped my arms around her waist. My eyes were still damp. “You had a pretty hard day, huh sweet boy?” She asked gently. I nodded, wanting to cry all over. “I’m sorry,” I squeaked. “It’s okay, love. You are warm and everything is going to be okay. I’m not mad with you. I talked to Ruby, and I understand where you’re coming from…both of you.” “I hate her,” I said softly. Annie let out a deep sigh. “Look, she’s just jealous she’s not a Keeper and she’s overcompensating with you. I mean seriously, she’s talked about wanting a pet of her own since we were kids. She’s always telling me about some kinky BDSM shit she’s doing in the bedroom where she can boss someone around and make them act like a pet. ” “Yeah well, I hope she becomes the pet…,” I grumbled. “Maybe then she wouldn’t be such an asshole.” “Hey, No. None of that, honey,” she warned me. “You need to at least try to be nicer to her. She’s doing us a huge favor helping out like this. She could be home resting before her ten-hour overnight shifts but instead she’s giving up her time to be here looking after you. At the end of the day she really does mean well, even if she comes across poorly…or very poorly.” “Yeah, but you should hear the things she says.” “I know how she can be, trust me. Which is why I’m not more upset with you. I’m proud of you for being so brave through all this change. But still, I don’t want to hear about you giving her a hard time like that.” “I won’t, but she’ll probably just lie about it to get me in trouble anyway!” I whined. “No, I’ll know. Because I’ll ask you and you will tell me the truth, won’t you, my precious pet?” She said in her impenetrable Keeper voice, with a hint of her irresistible flirting that made me feel small in the best way possible. “Mmhmm.” “Yes you will, sweet thing. Plus, I have the pet cams anyway,” she smirked. She bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “I know you’re having a hard time, but I promise it will get better soon. Once we both settle into things. I love you so much.” The next few days were better. Annie had clearly talked to Ruby and it didn’t feel like we were at each others’ throats as much. I found if I just indulged her desire to baby me a little bit, things went a lot better. I still didn’t like her, but appeasing her for Annie’s sake actually made me feel good— like I was showing love to my Keeper. I was in a good mood on Friday because it meant Annie would be home from the weekend. I was lot less snappy with Ruby. However, my body hadn’t cooperated to have my morning bowel movement before Annie left, which meant unless I could hold out until she was home, I was about to cross another mortifying threshold with my petsitter. Every minute felt like an hour as my gut grumbled. But I had learned by now that sheer willpower wouldn’t be enough to overcome my pet biology, so I finally got up and moved over to Ruby with my head low. “Um, Ruby?” “Mmhmm, what is it, boy?” “I have to go.” She looked up from laptop. “What, potty?….And?” “Well, It— it’s number two… I, uh... my body didn’t want to go this morning,” I said sheepishly. Ruby looked amused, not used to me speaking to her so subserviently. “Okay. Well if you can’t hold it, I guess you’re going to have to just go now then, huh? You don’t, like, need my permission, do you?” she asked genuinely. “No. I just…I know you don’t want to have to clean it... and you wouldn’t have to if, you know…maybe you just me let use the toilet,” I pitched hesitantly. It’s odd just how tunnel-visioned pets become when they have a desire. I knew Annie had pet cams, and even if she didn't, Ruby would never lie to her on my behalf, but facts like those just completely leave my brain when I want something. Ruby just laughed off my request and looked back at her laptop. “Oh come on, save us both here. Plleaassee?” I pleaded. She rubbed her eyes in annoyance. “Ollie, no. Just do your business in you diaper like a good boy. Now. Do you really want me to tell Annie you’re trying to break the rules?” I huffed out a growl and dragged myself to the spare room to at least find some privacy before I let out a gross, soft mess into the seat of my diaper. As much as Ruby normally delighted in my embarrassment, this wasn’t going to be very fun for either of us. After I carefully laid down on the changing mat, she took a moment to steel herself. I brought an arm up over my face. “Just get it over with,” I whined impatiently. “Don’t rush me!” she snapped back. “You’re not the one who has to clean your big stinky mess.” “Well you wouldn’t have to if you just unlocked my diaper for two fricking minutes.” “Hush, you!” she warned sternly. She put on some latex gloves and made a 'i can do this' face before peeling open my diaper. “Oof, I really shoulda brought a mask for this," she said while scrunching her face. “Shut up. It’s not my fault.” “I'll let that go because you're clearly just mortified for what you've done to this poor diaper.... But it’s okay,” she softened, and then pulled out a wipe, “I know you can’t help it. Sometimes pets get a little smelly. That’s all.” The cleaning took a while because she wasn’t as practiced as Annie. “There you go,” she soothed. “Good boy being still.” It was actually kind of nice to hear her voice being gentle instead of grating. Still, she couldn’t resist the opportunity to throw in some babying comments about me being a ‘little skinker’ and be amused by my discomfort, but all things considered, I guess it could’ve been worse. She gave me some treats after wrapping me up in a fresh diaper. “But I am bringing that mask next time.” **** I’m not sure there’s really a honeymoon period with being a pet, but there was definitely a surreal feeling to the first couple weeks where it still felt temporary, like an odd vacation from real life. Whatever it was, it had worn off around my fifteenth day as a pet. The permanence of everything really hit me. I was never going back to any version of what I had before. Being collared, owned, diapered— this was my future. As Annie announced she wanted to take me for a walk and I heard the leash clip close around my collar, it all became too much to handle and I jerked back. “No, I don’t want to go! Please Annie, let me out of this stupid diaper. I don’t want to be a fucking pet anymore,” I begged, on the verge of tears, “I want my life back! Please take off these restraints. Just let me go!” Instead of being offended and feeling like I didn’t want to be with her, Annie simply wrapped her arms around me and held me as I collapsed to the floor sobbing. She rocked me gently as I wept, softly whispering reassurances and rubbing my back. She held me all night and even took off the next day of work to coddle me. We spent the day soaking in each other. Annie talked long-term about our life together— about how eventually I wouldn’t need the restraints, or even a petsitter, and how we’d make new friends, discover new hobbies, go on trips, and build a life. Imagining my future had become a source of despair, but when my Keeper talked about it, it actually sounded like a pretty wonderful life. It made me feel warm and tingly hearing her talk about me being such a permanent fixture in her life. She wanted me forever. I'd never been chosen like that by anyone before. I had never been anyone's number one. I laid against her chest and resolved that I could bear it— embrace it, even. She was worth it. My Keeper, my caregiver, my owner, my self-proclaimed mommy.

Part 3 That’s twelve days ago and, despite all his protestations, he’s still wearing a thick fabric nappy. Early on he tried a few times to lose them, and, on each occasion, he’d been found out. His parents expressed their disappointment but then gave him the opportunity of being re-nappied or experiencing an even worse (but undisclosed) punishment. By then he was so scared of what that might entail he reluctantly let himself be folded into what has become his customary thick fleecy padding. However, he had disobeyed them so there were to be consequences. At the time he didn’t quite realise what that meant but now - he couldn’t go anywhere without an adult; TV programmes were monitored so was only able to watch Children’s TV without supervision and bedtime was brought forward by half an hour each time he’d tried to scramble out of his nappy. Although the initial idea hadn’t been to reduce him to act like a toddler the more he protested and squirmed in his padding, the more it all seemed appropriate to deal with him in that way. They’d let him grow up choosing his own path but that had led in the wrong direction, so the pull back, the reining in of his possible self-destructive side, was now down to them. Psychologically, the fact that he was wearing a nappy made it easier for them to treat him as a little boy in need of such instruction. What’s more, with him having restrictions both physical and mental, what they were doing appeared to be getting results. Even after the first day he’d thought it would be over quickly. He couldn’t understand why his parents would want their son to wear something so childish. He felt silly and vulnerable and dreaded anyone knowing anything about it, and yet they seemed perfectly fine with it all. So, when he was put into another nappy, and then another... he was upset but the fit of temper he wanted to unleash was kept firmly in check. Quite simply, now he was wearing a nappy, he found it difficult to fight back against his mum and dad’s fervour. There had been times when he’d checked his drawers to see if his ‘proper’ underwear had returned, only to be saddened at the number of nappies piled there. It didn’t look like this punishment was going to end soon judging by that amount of fleecy cotton. Also, because of the times he’d not told them he was wet, they insisted that, when at home, no shorts. He was furious at that rule but, like everything else, it came to pass. Something else that had crept up on him unaware was that his room now had a faint smell of urine but quite a heavy atmosphere of liniment and baby powder. It was something that, like everything else about this project, brought memories, happy memories, flooding back to mum who was in her element dealing with it all. ~ With each ‘pull back’ by his parents, and the added reaction that had on his entire mental capabilities, he was feeling tense, nervous and had difficulty concentrating, whilst feeling detached from what was happening. At times it felt like it was all happening to someone else and when he felt that way his nappy was perplexingly a comfort, whilst at other times just an irritation. At bedtime his padding was made thicker with booster pads and tougher plastic pants, which in truth his mother thought made him look just too sweet for words. (The photographs she took at such times both when he was awake and asleep bore testimony to this fact). There were times when the plastic cover just held the nappy cushion to perfection and made him look every inch a sweet little toddler. There was no hiding the fact that, with each change (and application of cream and powder), mum was enjoying seeing her boy wearing such an item and loved to see each of his ‘special covers’ mould itself around the padding and produce what she thought was the ideal way Robbie should wear his nappy – glossy and firm. What was even odder was there were also times when she spoke to him as a child and he didn’t react badly or shrug with disdain. Despite claiming not wanting to be treated as a baby her constant reassurance he was a ‘good boy’ was having an effect. He seemed to actually enjoy being complimented and comforted - mum especially always keen to deliver a supportive hug. This was strange because no matter how many times he told himself this shouldn’t be happening, the hugs immediately made things seem better. In the days since she’d put him back into a nappy she’d persuaded herself that because she thought this a good idea AND for his own good, he’d eventually appreciate that fact for himself. As if by some magical spell, even if he didn’t confess his multiple sins, he would acknowledge what was happening and know it was all in his best interest. She was unyielding in her belief that this was for the good (and possible redemption) of their wayward boy. He’d been irresponsible and wanted her good boy back. She repeatedly told herself that by making him wear a nappy, he would understand he was still only a child and under their protection. They knew what was best for him and, quite simply, he looked so adorable wearing one. At each change mum and dad were positive and encouraged him to be happy in HIS nappy. They kept emphasising that it was HIS and that it was because of what he’d done that he was wearing one. They doggedly pursued the notion that if they insisted his nappy wearing was all down to him then he would find it more difficult to blame others. In next to no time, and quite unexpectedly, Claire and Thomas had eroded his independence and made him totally dependent on what they decided. The mouthy pre-teen was, to their surprise, quickly subdued and learned that his way of life depended on wearing his nappy. He may not have been happy-in-a-nappy but what he perceived to be the alternative meant he had little choice. The thing was, so embedded in his thoughts was the brutal ‘THWACK!’ of the strap on his unprotected bum, that mental image alone made him recoil from pushing too hard at the new boundaries - that, together with the fact he still had no idea what exactly he needed to apologise for. Well, actually he did and the unforgivable shame about what he’d done was quite overwhelming so he certainly wasn’t going to confess to THAT. ~ Meanwhile he tried apologising “for everything” but his parents asked him to be specific. He struggled by admitting to some of his lesser crimes, but his parents just smiled and asked him to think again. This of course incensed him, which made him feel angry and argumentative, but to no avail. The restrictions for where he could go and what he could do were quite severe but he didn’t have the conviction or proficiency to combat them. So the nappy stayed and because of that he didn’t want to go anywhere or see anyone. The reality that they’d got him into nappies a lot easier than anticipated increased their desire to make sure he didn’t get out of them again anytime soon. Seeing their son totter around the house wearing such nice thick protection, and him being aware of that fact AND that it was down to ‘something he’d done’, oddly made for a lot less stressed household. His father’s firmness and mother’s equal, but more understanding, approach had befuddled him enough so as not to be sure where he stood. Every time he disputed the need for a nappy as punishment, his reluctance to admit to why he was now wearing one was used against him. “We don’t have to explain anything young man... but keep arguing and see where that gets you. Remember, you brought this on yourself!” This nebulous contention left him mystified and angry but had nothing to fight back with. He couldn’t confess, that would be just too much. He also thought, no he knew, if what he’d done ever got out then his parents would disown him completely. It wasn’t worth even thinking about, the repercussions were too dire to contemplate... he had enough to worry about as it was. As a result, because of his quarrelling, bedtime, with extra thick fabric padding and heavy protective plastic pants, had at one point been 7pm, which for a lad his age was ridiculously early. So, although he wriggled out of them to begin with, pretty soon learned that wasn’t going to happen without significant cost, especially when they quickly returned him to the now permanent cushion of a fleecy nappy, which of course was accompanied by the sweet telltale rustle of plastic pants. Being put to bed, not sent, they made sure he was tucked up nicely and kissed ‘night-night’ so he knew they meant business. They also added the proviso that he wasn’t to get up for any reason and if he did - how did he fancy a six o’clock bedtime? To get to this point there had been several complete family eruptions but all were dealt with by mother’s sympathy and understanding coupled with father’s refusal to change his mind. In fact, Robbie had never known his parents be so difficult to influence. In the past he’d always been able to get his way playing one parent off against the other. Well, so he thought, but of course that wasn’t quite what was happening. His parents had always thought they’d brought him up to be responsible but now they’d seen that error, no matter how temporary or otherwise, of a free rein. They were determined to stop that decent and had decided on this, perhaps controversial, way to alter the circumstances. “We said you’ll wear a nappy all the time and that’s just what we meant,” his mother said with a severity Robbie just wasn’t used to. He shivered at her determination as his own hope that he still had any say in the matter diminished. “We don’t want to baby you but you are still a child and under our care and it appears you need a constant reminder of that fact... and what is more... you know exactly why.” His body radiated a hot guilty flush, his padding seemed to get heavier, and the tell-tale rush of nervous pee into it only confirmed why he now wore a nappy. “Try and remove them again and see what happens,” his father added with touch of malice but of course always added a smile, which could have been interpreted in two ways. THWACK! – the heavy mental guilt trip made him comply. That final threat left Robbie all but feeling what that might be, though grasped it was something he didn’t want to experience. ~ He’d resented early bedtimes but, with the prospect of it being moved to 6:00pm, he gave in, much to his mother’s relief; she didn’t want to fight him she wanted his acceptance of the situation. She took great delight in getting her boy ready and into his thick nighttime nappy. His usual sleepwear of boxers and t-shirt had been replaced by a nice, but very thick, fleecy nappy with extra padding (to help take care of his morning mess) and a t-shirt that was supersoft, which was in a plain pastel colour. So, despite his protests, wriggling and total un-cooperation her determination (and control) was definite about what he would be wearing from that moment on. She made sure that every little interaction, whether good or bad, ended with her pulling him in for a hug. It may not have been what he wanted but confusingly there was no denying a comforting warmth spread through his body (though not necessarily his nappy) whenever it happened. Because of all this, at each change the memory of his babyhood would surface when she’d slipped in a dummy or fed him a bottle of warm milk, such a happy and fulfilling time for her (why couldn’t things be like that again she’d fantasise?). However, that wasn’t the outcome they were searching for. This wasn’t an attempt to baby him (but more and more it did appear to be heading that way by its own volition), it was to make Robbie realise the penalties for his unchecked actions and the culpability he shared in this outcome. Once he’d stopped fighting them on that particular front, he was able to gain a later bedtime and some restricted playtime on his console but that was reliant on his behaviour. Nevertheless, each change of nappy didn’t stop his mother, emotionally at least, reliving those times when he was such a cute and loving little tot. Rubbing in anti-rash cream and sprinkling his naked little genitals with talcum powder, were all such a heady image. She’d covertly capture such moments on her mobile when he wasn’t looking and often when he was asleep – he was one loveable nappied teen when lying there dreaming about who knows what. It was no burden for Claire to be responsible for his nappy changes... wet and messy... she didn’t mind. That was the other thing, he wasn’t allowed to change himself, not that he wanted that job, but his parents insisted that only they were allowed to change his nappies. It made it more personal; they could also keep a check on him and of course it made him totally reliant on them for dry padding. His night time nappy was thicker to cope with everything he was expected to have deposited in it come morning. Claire made sure that his huge, glossy plastic padded bum was the last thing she saw each night as he climbed under the covers. To her the smooth shiny bulk was the epitome of innocence and also a not-so-subtle reminder that he looked very much a pre, pre-teen. “If only...” she’d think. Which would lead to thoughts of him nursing on a warm bottle of milk or happily sucking on a dummy like he had when a toddler. She’d try and ignore these mental images but they were quite strong and very, very pleasing. Sometimes he was grumpy and ‘not in the mood’ for a hug but that didn’t worry her as she’d kiss him affectionately on his forehead and whisper “Goodnight sweetie”. The gentle rustle of his plastic pants against the bed linen as he got himself comfy a delight to her ears. He complained about the mass being too weighty, the plastic pants made him hot and sweaty, which made his nappy damp even when he hadn’t peed in it. However, the truth was that his mother had fitted them perfectly. She’d made it so that his nighttime protection was much thicker with extra padding to soak up any extra ‘flow’ and that his clear or white plastic pants were also much larger and more robust to cover the extra material. She discerned what would work and what wouldn’t and knew that the smooth rounded shape, both front and back, would not only let him know he was well-protected but that a boy, her boy, would be very secure. Of course, he wouldn’t admit to this startling fact but his nappy was indeed annoyingly snug... and begrudgingly there were times when her praise and love was very, very welcome. At his age it was those things he’d been trying to escape from, however, when it came down to it, and it’s constant availability, it was something he quite liked. She was completely in her motherly element as each night she patted and stroked his slinky large plastic bottom when he crawled under the bed covers. The cushiony package filling her nightly with happy mummy-hormones and even happier memories. “Night-night sweetheart... we love you Robbie... never forget that.” She caressed his hair and kissed his forehead. His bed times might have got a little later than when he was being confrontational but they still weren’t overly late. So, even though he was full of resentment and hated the large bulky item fixed around his groin that had that soft swishing sound as he moved, his mother’s words were always positive and loving and it was hard to stay cranky under such circumstances. She’d got him into a loving routine which happily meant all his arguments were forgotten as he fell into a blissful night’s sleep. ~ However, the first time he’d had to crap in his nappy had been the most difficult. On that first day he really wasn’t sure. He’d decided to ‘just get it over with’ so was trying to cope as best he could but also he was twelve and thought there was no way he should be wearing a nappy never mind having to use it. After mum had reapplied his wet one and told him to use it - that was a shock. He’d held off as long as he could and eventually begged his father to let him use the toilet like he had for the past eight years. Dad was resolute that he used his nappy as prescribed and insisted that the boy should just relax and not worry about it. This made no sense to Robbie who was sure it was being done just to humiliate him further. His absolute refusal to shit himself was skewered by the fact that the holiday was fast approaching. His parents had made clear that all future events depended on him carrying out their demands and that meant staying in his padding and using it. So, no matter what he wanted, this was the state of play. However, he had no intention of missing out on the holiday and was still of the opinion that, if not before, when that day arrived then his punishment would cease, and everything would return to normal. Although no nearer acknowledging why he was being punished in such a way, he still felt guilty (very guilty). There was no doubt that with the intensity of his parent’s chastisement he must have crossed a line somewhere, even if he didn’t know how or when. It was all very frustrating and perplexing but didn’t know what he could do to change things. Everything he’d so far tried had ended with a smile and a push back – “You know why you’re wearing a nappy sweetheart”. To do what he was being told to do was the ultimate betrayal of what growing up was all about. How could he forget all the years of going to the toilet easily? It was difficult and of course the reluctance was causing him great pain. His stomach growled as he tried to keep from releasing his smelly load but still dad wouldn’t let him visit the toilet, he had to use the nappy. “Please dad... please let me just go...” “Come here son,” Thomas beckoned him over and hugged the crying boy to his chest and rubbed his back and patted his thick padding. “Just relax and let go.” “I can’t dad honestly I’ve tried,” his sobbing son appealed. “Sshhhhh, don’t cry...” he patted and rubbed his son’s cushioned bum, “We don’t want you to be ill and all that’s in you is going to come out eventually so... let it.” He whispered in the boy’s ear. “Just relax son, just relax and let it happen... I’m here for you but it’s something you need to do...” Tears of incomprehension and total irrationality spun in his head. It didn’t make any sense as to why he needed to perform such a dirty and backward action. It wasn’t right... “But why dad... why?” The sobbingly increased. “Because son from now on that’s how it’s going to be. So, the sooner you do it the sooner we can all move on.” The words were supportive but Thomas wondered if this was really necessary. Claire had said that Robbie needed to know he was wearing a nappy and thought just wearing one wouldn’t quite get the message home. However, a wet and messy nappy made sure he realised that he was being punished. “But dad...” Unfortunately, as his father rubbed his back to console him his resolve ended abruptly with a huge involuntary fart and the back of his nappy began to fill. A loud cry of anguish came from Robbie as he had no alternative but to release the entire load once it started. His body shook as his father held him tightly and offered words of reassurance. “There, there son, that’s better... get it all out and then later we can get you all changed into a fresh one for the rest of the day.” Robbie was crying hard, mortified about what was happening. He couldn’t escape his father’s hug and, in a strange way, being held by his understanding dad was somehow comforting. However, he didn’t take in what had been said as lump after lump of mess pushed into the seat of his already well-soaked nappy. Robbie couldn’t get over what was happening. Surely this couldn’t be what anyone wanted but still his nappy grew messier as the mush continued to fill it. This was the most horrendous thing that had ever happened to him and it wasn’t his fault. His mum and dad had made him do this and yet, as the pain in his stomach lessened, he was grateful for it to be out, though hated where it had ended up. Tears of humiliation, frustration and incomprehension were streaming down his face “Good boy, I’m sure you feel better now. It’s all part of a process... well done.” The plastic pants had expanded but held the contents as his dad stroked the warm bulk that now settled in the seat of his son’s browning terry nappy. Once he was sure he’d finished Thomas patted him reassuringly one more time and left him so he could come to terms with it all. Robbie really didn’t know what to do next; the shame and disgust at what had happened left him paralysed. A lad his age not only having to wear a nappy but messing in it as well hammered away at his once proud self-image. He was reduced to nothing but a toddler, which the tears coursing down his face only went to support. He was totally chastened. The bewildered lad was stunned that he wasn’t immediately changed but his reactions were very strong – shock and revulsion. He was surprised at the weight that dragged at his rear. In fact, it was his tight plastic pants that were holding the entire thing up and, for the moment at least, contained the smell. A few minutes later and still standing in his room, the smell became apparent so, despite loathing each little movement, went in search of mum hoping she’d change him. However, he caught sight of himself in the mirror as he slowly waddled and was nauseated. He could see through the clear plastic pants just how discoloured his nappy had become, how streaked with tears his face was and how totally miserable and juvenile he looked… and it terrified him. He’d become the very thing he was afraid of becoming, a baby. “Ah sweetheart, yes of course I’ll change you but, I’m busy at the moment. Why don’t you go and play in the garden, and I’ll sort you out as soon as I finish what I’m doing.” “Play in the garden?” I’m not a kid thought Robbie. However, his full and increasingly saggy nappy indicated otherwise. Reluctantly (and carefully) he waddled outside, if for no other reason it diluted the smell around him but couldn’t do anything. He dreaded sitting down or mushing the mess against his skin so stood patiently but totally sickened waiting for her to come and sort him out. Whilst waiting he had time to take in the ludicrous situation he found himself. He was angry, frightened, sad and a whole bunch of other emotions were bubbling around in his head. What were his parents playing at? What could he do to change things? But worst of all, was he destined to spend the rest of this inexplicable punishment wearing messy nappies? Again, he tried to pinpoint in his mind just what it was his parents knew that had produced this weird and retrograde step in his advance to becoming a teenager. He was in turmoil; wouldn’t it just be easier to admit to his ‘crime’ and have done but that confession was just too much to contemplate. Then he had a panic attack – what if any of his mates came around now and witnessed his shame? He was twelve he shouldn’t be wearing a nappy and definitely not shit in one but as he thought this, he also remembered that he’d said neither of these things would happen and yet they had. He hadn’t realised just how much his body was shivering. It wasn’t cold, far from it, but his body seemed to be reacting to the situation on its own. He felt vulnerable, that was it, vulnerable and scared and every bit the small child who needed mum or dad to sort things out for him. This was all too much; the emotional strain had been stretched to snapping point... and it had just snapped. Another huge sob wracked his body – why, why, WHY were they making him wear a nappy and worse still use it? What the hell had he done (that they knew about) that made this a punishment that fit any crime? Even the slightest movement reminded him of the grainy sludge he was carrying around. He hoped that now he’d done it he wouldn’t have to anymore. Alas he was wrong. Twenty-five minutes later mum came out with a changing mat and a bunch of other items and laid them out on the sunny lawn and called him over. Cheerfully, and there out in the fresh air, she was going to give him his first messy nappy change since he was three; the first of many she anticipated whilst getting her boy back. Back from what and where was between him and her. He couldn’t understand why she was so pleased he’d just shit himself yet she was full of praise and patted his filled nappy with enthusiasm. “You’re doing very well Robbie.... keep up the good work and who knows?” This had been yet another big test, he’d wet without any encouragement, but this had needed pressure and deprivation to get him to comply. Still, he’d done it now and she was unbelievably proud of him. Quite simply, that might have been down to the fact that she now thought of him as a little kid and, although that wasn’t supposed to be the idea, the thought was happily held in her head. “But mum,” he tried to get his snivelling under control, “this can’t be what you want... I’m, I’m, (hic) not a little baby.” Unfortunately for Robbie, as his mother looked down on him, she didn’t agree. A messy nappy, a tear-streaked face, pleading eyes and needing a mummy’s love to make things better. She wasn’t going to tell him, but yes, that’s just what he was, her baby boy. “Well love, let’s think about it. You’ve been returned to wearing a nappy for a reason...” “Yes, but I don’t know what for...” The frustration and absolute bewilderment at what he’d just done evident in his sad eyes. “I’ve not been told what it is I’ve done.” He sheepishly countered; face creased simply not understanding. “We think you do know,” she gave him a look as if to say, ‘you aren’t fooling anyone’. “Now we think the return to wearing a nappy will give you time to contemplate on the ‘why’ and perhaps, once we see that recognition in you, then things might return to normal... well relatively.” “But this is unfair, why do I have to use these damn things...” He pulled at the messy material, “It doesn’t make any sense...” Even as he said the words he knew that his fate was sealed and the nappies, HIS nappies, were about to become a more permanent fixture than he had anticipated. “Well son, to your father and I this is what you need... a simple and effective reminder of the repercussions for what you’ve been up to. You’ve abused your responsibilities of being grown up so now, as an aide-mémoire, a reminder if you like that you are in fact still a child, our child, you’re back in nappies. Not very subtle I’ll grant you, but we hope it will prove effective.” The need in him to defy all of this, to shout “NO” at the top of his voice, to not just capitulate to his parents demands was brewing. He was agitated about what had happened, he couldn’t understand WHY it had happened and what’s more, even though he had a nappy full of shit, he was determined it wouldn’t happen again. Until that is his brain reminded him... THWACK! Overcome with anger but still worried he bawled, “But I’m twelve... I can’t be a, a, a baby.” He stuttered whilst crying and not for the first time wondered why they were doing this? Could it be that he was growing up too fast? But that was a stupid motive surely they didn’t know his secret... did they? Catching his baby reference Claire said. “But love, we remember the days when you were at your best and it was when you were a toddler and still wearing a nappy. Then you were such a happy and loving little boy; no secrets, no agenda, no...” she thought for a moment and then added “well... let’s just say... we’ve decided what’s for the best.” “But a messy nappy... mum... that can’t be right.” He was unsure how he could put this any clearer because to him it just didn’t make sense. She had some sympathy but there was no doubt that lying there in such a juvenile state, a lot of that brashness and flippant remarks had all but disappeared. What’s more, for the first time in ages he looked helpless and in need of his mummy and daddy... and that’s just what he was going to get. “We’ll see sweetheart, we’ll see. We think you were at your best then and maybe it’s what you need now...mummy and daddy making all the decisions and your return to a time of innocence... but for the moment let’s get you out of this dirty nappy, hmm?” The snivelling continued all the way through the clean-up and change; he was one very unhappy and very mystified twelve-year-old but perhaps weirdly, a fresh clean nappy was a wonderful relief. He was also out in the open, in the middle of the garden, where anyone paying a visit would be able to see. “Mum, please can’t we do this indoors... please?” He begged. “Sweetheart, you must not argue with mummy. She’ll decide where and when your nappy needs checking or changing... not my sweet little...” “Mum, I’m not a baby please don’t...” But his protest were in vain as whilst he closed his eyes and hoped no one else would see him, ‘mummy’, whether he liked her using the term or not, had him cleaned up and changed in just a few moments. “There now,” his mother beamed as she proudly patted the finished item, “doesn’t that feel so much better?” Compared to the dirty, sopping load that had been surrounding his waist, anything would be better. However, a look of incomprehension and disbelief on her son’s face was oddly offset by an unintentional nod of agreement, much to his mother’s approval. “Now then love,” she said tenderly “the secret to avoid wearing a messy nappy is to get into a routine.” Robbie wanted to say that the secret was not to wear one in the first place and just get on with things he’d done since he was three... like get to the toilet on time but he wasn’t given the chance. She saw him about to speak and hushed him into silence. “Now, as we’ve told you we’ll make every effort to change you as soon as we know your nappy needs it but, if you get into a routine then you can more or less be free from constant checks.” She could see he was not happy as she patted the thick padding, an action that was enforcing the fact this was now part of him. There was a slight wriggle as Robbie got used to his fresh underwear and Claire couldn’t get over just how much pleasure she got from seeing his fleecy white nappy and ducky pins through the glossy plastic and the subtle rustle gave an aural aspect to what was before her. As far as she was concerned it was all simply... Perfection. “What I suggest is that in the morning when we change you out of your lovely thick night time nappy that you take the opportunity to fill it before that happens. That way, you’re not carrying any poo around during the day when opportunities to change and clean you up might be a little more difficult.” He looked horrified at the suggestion. “So, we expect our morning changes to be messy but at least it will be out of the way, then, apart from any accidents, which of course we’ll deal with as soon as we can.” “But mum...” “It’s for your own good sweetheart, take my advice or not, it’s your choice but do you really want to be wearing a messy nappy for any longer than you need to?” Robbie wanted to say it was no choice at all, he was being made to act like a toddler but knew that shouting wasn’t going to work. “But mum, I don’t...” “Those are your options sweetheart and it’s up to you whether you follow my advice. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, things won’t change, the nappy stays for all your toilet activities... OK?” “But mum... please... I... I...” “Shhh, shhhh, shhhhh, sweetheart, this is happening so why not make the best of it… who knows… you might just enjoy it.” He was stunned into silence – might just enjoy it... joking right? That was her final words on the subject and although horrified he knew it wasn’t going to end anytime soon. ~ tbc ~

Chapter 23: Christmas Eve Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- Another month passed by. I still missed walking. Crawling was… fun… but I definitely missed using my legs properly and actually walking around. It was a lot quicker, and a lot less exhausting. I also missed using the potty. Sure, this was like nearly four months into my stay here, and I hadn’t seen, let alone used a potty the whole time. I was used to nappies at this point. Changes still made me blush, but by now it was just routine. Still missed using the potty though. Ugh. Potty. Even my language has been dumbed down here. Potty. Peepee. It was like I really was just an infant learning to talk when saying specific words. Early in December the Nannies got all excited, as one day we got wheeled into the playroom and suddenly everything looked very… festive. I used to be a very festive person… but when I lost my Mum… the magic of Christmas just kinda went with her. I’ve mostly just endured Christmas since, putting on my fakest smile so I didn’t ruin everyone else’s Christmases. So when they said we’d be celebrating it in here… I put on that same fake smile and went along with it. Apparently we’ll all be wearing festive baby clothes throughout the month, hence why I’ve worn a ridiculous amount of red and green onesies whilst crawling around the playroom. We’re also doing a Secret Santa thing, but we haven’t been given any details about it until today… and we’re already halfway through the month! Christmas age-appropriate movies on the TV, Christmas music coming from the speakers all day long… Everyone else seemed to love it… everyone except me. Even Jack and his goons were enjoying it, they seemed cheerier than usual, having moved out of the play gym area finally… and moving back into the boy’s only section. They quickly established that as their own private area, and have never once come out into the main playroom… which I am one thousand percent okay with. Especially as it meant we could finally get a turn with the centre of the playroom. They did seem to be following the rules a bit more, actually engaging with the program or treatment or whatever you want to call it. I even saw them colouring in some times. Though never with us, always by themselves. I don’t know what the Nannies did to scare them into obedience, but it was working, whatever it was. Because it seemed like it was just… overnight. Such a drastic change made me wonder if they had played with their mind or something… which was scary. But at the same time, I was just glad they weren’t expected to play with us, because right now… I don’t want anything to do with those morons. Everything got cheerier… happier… Everyone had accepted their place here. Everyone knew there was no chance at escape, it had been nearly four months now… and there was no gap in their security. Especially not when the Nannies could probably bench press a car. Everyone was enjoying this festive time. Especially Ollie and Ella. Both of them were feeling really festive, really getting into the Christmas spirit. Both of them… being really distant with me since Ella’s birthday. Ella and I still talked a lot during the day, trying our best to talk in sign so I could get better at it. Nanny Vesta moved my daily lesson to just before our afternoon nap, and Ella joined us. But the whole time… Ella seemed… distant. Like she didn’t want to get too close to me. Like she was scared of me. Well, not of me… but of getting too attached to me. We were still close friends, but we hadn’t touched since her birthday and I felt a little… rejected. Ollie was even worse. He has been so distant with me it’s like he’s on another planet. He’s friendly enough, but he talks to me like we aren’t close friends, often keeping his distance, often focusing his attention on Rowan or the girls rather than me. I know that really I should confront both of them, I should discuss this with them both and find the root of the problem and try to fix it. It’s probably a simple fix too, or a simple discussion. But there’s no way I can confront them. And they aren’t bothering to talk to me… so I’ve just been kinda… distant to everyone the past month. Doesn’t help that all this Christmas bullshit is making me feel even more lonely. “So, Noah… You’ve got Jack for Secret Santa,” Ceres said, in my nursery, with just the two of us here. The Nannies had taken each person throughout the day, taken them to their nurseries, and discussed what possible gift we would like to give for Secret Santa. At least I assume that’s why everyone left, as no one talked about it when they returned, and I only realised when Ceres brought me in here and told me this. “Really?” I whined. “Don’t sound too happy about it…” All I could do at that point was sigh. “You know what he’s done, right? And now I have to get him a fucking gift?” “Language. And yes. Because it’s Christmas.” “Christmas fucking sucks.” Oops. Seems as if my bad mood may have just earned me my first punishment in here… “Sweetie… you know you’re not allowed bad language in here. I’ll let you-” My anger and frustration with everything going on in the past month, along with my feelings about this time of year all culminated in one big outburst. “WHY? WHATS THE FUCKING POINT?” Ceres’ eyebrow quickly raised. And I knew I was in trouble. I could barely sit down. I had never been spanked like that before. To be honest… I don’t think I had ever been spanked before. Like… at all. And after apologising profusely, tears and snot covering my face, I planned to never earn another one again. She had thrown me over her lap so quickly, I barely had any time to react, as she pulled down my soggy nappy, exposing my bare arse, and she quickly gave me ten swats on each cheek. I was crying by swat number three. “Are you going to stop swearing, Noah?” she said as she held my arms, with me just standing there with my nappy hastily pulled back up. “Y… yes… s… s… sorry…” I mumbled, all the while sobbing my eyes out, wiping away the snot from my face. “Sorry what?” “S… sorry Nanny…” “Good boy. Now, can we discuss what we’re going to get Jack for Secret Santa like grown ups, I do I have to regress you further?” “There… there’s further than… this?” “Oh sweetie… of course there is. How do you think Jack and the others started to behave?” Shit. How? When? Like… if it got them in line… it must be bad, right? Surely she wouldn’t stoop to those measures… not when I’m good most of the time? This was just a one time outburst. Either way… I’ll definitely be watching my language from now on. In the end, I asked them to get Jack a remote control car from me. Sadly, because of the age we were currently at, or at least being treated as, it meant that the car was rather… babyish. It wasn’t one of those cool ones I had always wanted as a kid. But I think he’ll still appreciate it. It’s better than a teddy bear or a colouring book, especially when I don’t even know him very well. Shortly after picking out my gift, there was a knock at the door. “Hey Ceres…” it was Minerva… holding Ollie in her arms, his legs wrapped around her waist just like a baby. “Oh hey… what’s up?” “It’s nearly feeding time, and it’s Ollie’s turn to pick out a gift for Secret Santa. Figured I’d bring him in, you done with Noah?” “Yeah. Had a little… outburst… from him, but he’s decided.” I felt guilty as the two talked about me as if I wasn’t there. And the pain radiating from my backside still reminded me of my little ‘outburst’. “Want me to take him while Ollie picks?” Minerva suggested. “Nah, it’s okay. Noah can stay. Ollie didn’t get him for Secret Santa, so I’ll just let Noah rest in the crib for a while until I feed them.” “You sure? I better go get my two, no doubt they’re up to all sorts of mischief…” “I’m sure. You go feed your two.” “Talk to you later! And Noah? Be a good boy for Ceres, okay?” I nodded at Minerva, who quickly walked out the door, smiling at me. “You could get her a teddy bear?” Ceres suggested to my nursery-mate. “I guess…” Ollie replied to our Nanny, who was clearly getting fed up with Ollie’s indecision. They had been looking for a good twenty minutes now, and Ceres had suggested lots of good gifts Ollie could get for Ella, but Ollie couldn’t decide on a single one. Teddy bears, onesies, toys, colouring books… Ollie wasn’t sure what to get her. It wasn’t like he needed it to be special either, he didn’t care that much if it was special to her or not, he just wasn’t very good at deciding. Apparently he’s ‘terrible at getting presents for people’, which is clearly true. I had been watching from the crib the whole time, and it was annoying me just how indecisive he is. Like… I’m bad… but Ella… Ella was easy to get for in comparison to Jack. “Noah…” Ollie whined, finally talking to me like he used to before Ella’s birthday. “What do I get that girl? You know her best.” “Is there anything unicorn themed in there?” I asked, as I only got to see the boy’s section. “Why? Does she like unicorns?” “Didn’t you see what I got her for her birthday? Yes, she likes unicorns…” I replied, rolling my eyes at the clueless boy. “There’s… unicorn socks?” “Anything else?” “A unicorn stuffed animal? It’s pink.” “Perfect.” “Thanks mate…” I hated being called ‘mate’. Same with ‘dude’. Despite what everyone says… it’s such a masculine term. There’s nothing ‘gender neutral’ about it when it’s used by a guy. So as the words passed his lips, my whole body began to shiver. And not in a good way. “It’s… okay,” I replied, trying to pretend it didn’t bother me. He smiled up at me, and for the first time… it felt like he actually saw me as a friend again. So I returned the smile back. “Nanny?” he asked, turning to Ceres. “Yes, sweetheart?” “Can I sleep in Noah’s crib again tonight?” “Sure!” Even Ceres was taken a little aback by this. But I think she was as happy as I was about this development. Okay… so things improved with Ollie in the run up to Christmas at least. We were back to being close again, he was sleeping in my crib every other night, and he barely left my side in the playroom. Even the others commented about how awkward it was recently, but Ollie just shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Ella though… she wasn’t any closer, despite our lessons and everything. She still kept herself emotionally distant from me. Which suuuuucked. It was afternoon playtime in the playroom, on Christmas Eve. We had already been fed and had our naps, and we were settled down, ready to go back to our nurseries to sleep soon so that ‘Santa’ could deliver our presents. I mean… despite how we’re dressed, we’re still grown adults, none of us have believed in Father Christmas or Santa Claus in like two decades nearly. And then there’s the fact we’re doing a secret Santa thing… but apparently the Nannies want to ‘keep the magic’ or whatever. So as we sat there, all snuggled up in the bean bag chairs, watching a Christmas movie I remember from my childhood, I looked around to find both Ella and Ollie gone. “Where… where did they go?” I asked. “You zoned out again hun?” Ava asked, giggling slightly. “Ceres took Ollie for a change, and Ella went off with her Nanny to talk about something. No idea what though.” “I…” I think Ava is right, I must have zoned out during the movie because I don’t remember either of them getting taken. “I must have.” “D’awww… you worried about your girlfriend and boyfriend?” “I… what? No! They’re not…” Jess and Sophia leaned forward a bit. I think it was mostly Sophia doing the leaning, but because those two were practically joined at the hip, Jess kinda got brought along for the ride. “Hun… we’re not stupid. We’ve all seen the way you look at them. And we’ve seen the way all three of them look at you.” “I… no… wait… what? Three?” “What my very not-so-subtle girlfriend is saying, is that you seem to have three admirers…” Jess said, rolling her eyes at Sophia. “Three? Who… who’s the third?” I asked, confused. They both started giggling. But I genuinely had no idea who they were talking about. Unless… they mean… I mean… I know the old thing parents used to say… that boys would tease and bully girls they like… but I’m not… I’m… I’m a boy in here. Jack wouldn’t be interested in me… Unless… “Your Nanny…” Maria threw her voice into the conversation, though by the sound of it, and the sigh that followed, she couldn’t be bothered with any of it and just wanted it to be over. “Ceres? Wait… since when?” “Since always. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. None of our Nannies are like that with us. With the exception of maybe Juno with Jess and Sophia…” “Hey! We’re just extremely well behaved and she likes how cute we are together,” Jess then rolled her eyes at Maria. “Whatever. Anyway, yes…” Maria huffed, ignoring that last comment, and focusing her attention back on me, “Ceres clearly likes you. More than she lets on.” I… I didn’t know what to say. What to do. It was bad enough having two people liking me, all of us being too awkward to initiate anything… but to have three people liking me… What the hell do I do with this information? ====================================================== Ruh roh. Love quadrangle! Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks! I said I put a lot of myself into this... and his way of thinking was very much how I started off. Now, like 8+ years into my transition, I agree with you, but back, well over 10 years ago... I thought I could put it off and off, until I nearly broke. When I say I put a lot of myself into this story, I really mean it Awww I'm sorry the monster series wasn't for you, but I'm glad you're enjoying this one! I don't know if you caught up with the non-monster ones I've written in between, but check them out if you haven't already.

If our crazy tangerine president wants to run for a third term, in violation of the 22nd Amendment, then I'd vote for you, @Little Sherri, Canadian citizenship notwithstanding!

I should probably just stay quiet, because these things never end well. But I will attempt to make a couple of points. Have you ever looked at what the economic indicators were in the 1990's under Clinton? The US was doing pretty well. I know this is a popular talking point, but seriously, look at the numbers. And there have been plenty of good times since, from an economic standpoint. The USMCA agreement surpassed NAFTA, and was signed by Trump himself during his last administration. He called it a great deal at the time. It was still in effect, until he decided to violate it himself with new tariffs The number of cars made in Canada about equals the number of cars purchased by Canadians, we just don't buy the same cars we make, all the time, and neither do Americans. So, rather than having to have, say, a Chevrolet Equinox plant in the US, and also one in Canada, they might build the Equinox's in Canada, and build, say, the Chevy Traverse in the US, and then send them back and forth. Which we can't do anymore, unless everyone wants to pay 25% more for them. Trump wants all cars to be built in the US, but that won't pan out - we'll buy more of them from Europe and Japan and Korea. People don't tend to buy from countries that are punching them in the face every day. Witness Tesla's freefall. The US is primarily a service and a technology economy - they make big bucks selling Microsoft licenses and Boeing aircraft to the world, and they buy the raw aluminum at a decimal point fraction of what it becomes worth when you turn it into a 737. However, punitively tariff the people selling you the aluminum, and they tend to shop elsewhere for their planes. Europe, for example - Airbus also makes nice planes. The US's economic supremacy is very service based - again, Microsoft licenses, engineering, medical technologies, intellectual property, credit cards, finance, tech companies. Their GDP per capita is the envy of the world - the problem they have is that it isn't distributed very equitably. So you have billionaires (such as the President and his friends) who made all the decisions regarding offshoring manufacturing, because it generated huge profits, now saying they are going to fix the problem, and blaming other nations for "stealing" the jobs. And the people at the ground level, who feel they don't benefit from "globalism", aren't going to benefit from this, either - the idea that these billionaires are now aligned with Mr. and Mrs. Common Person is wishful thinking. They want to slash public services, slash taxes, and increase their share of the nation's wealth. They are salivating over the current situation. They are not your friends - never have been, never will be. If iPhones and diapers and mop buckets can only be made in the US, prepare for $3700 iPhones and diapers that are $12 each and mop buckets that cost $40, because with no global competition allowed, do you think prices will go down? This will beget a massive recession and wealth transfer, and the people engineering it will say, "Hold on, good times are just around the corner", until they've taken all that they can take from the system, then they will walk away and live in palaces in gated communities, and not use the public services that they've decimated. Their factories will be staffed by robots and AI, which will be the new "offshoring", not proud Americans making $50 an hour, who can now afford $12 diapers and $3700 iPhones, because they pay no taxes What amazes me is these free-market economic purists, who say capitalism, like Darwinism, always favours the fittest, if we could only get the government out of the way, now saying they want the government taxing literally everything, in huge amounts. This is going to blow up before it blows over, with a standoff between the executive branch, and a bunch of newly-elected Democrat congresspeople and senators, as a once-great nation staggers into a depression, taking the world with it, during the midterms in 2026. Trump isn't a genius - all these things have been tried before. There have been 25% interest rates, runaway inflation, and massive tariffs before, and there were corresponding depressions and recessions. He's just not a student of history. He is fixated on being the center of the universe, the only thing everyone can talk about, even if the universe is crumbling around him. Even if this is indeed the great cure to what "ales" America - the richest nation on earth, BTW, so from an outsider's perspective, not exactly on its deathbed, with the economy booming until a couple of months ago - but, even if this eventually "fixes" all the problems, it's going to take a generation to work itself out. Good times are not just around the corner. People are going to suffer first, as much in the US as elsewhere. But not the billionaires who begat this - rather, the people who voted for them.

This is good news for people in the US, although @OddlyEnough raises a good point - these supply chains have been so integrated, for so long, that it won't be like throwing a switch, getting all of these materials locally. Input costs will definitely go up. And I would point out that, absent any competition, one of the fundamental tenets of free-market economics, the alter of which so many current leaders claim to worships at, is that prices will go up. The competition now costs 100% more. Buckle up.

Even if the diapers are made here, the materials are from overseas. So, yeah, they'll cost more.

Sadly, Most are made in, you guessed it.. China. I fully expect the price of diapers to skyrocket. And we all know who to thank for that, "He who shall not be named" and I don't mean Voldemort. Most of what's made here is is less than sub par. And even most of our products are only "Headquartered" in the US, but manufactured outside the US. Quality isn't something most US manufacturers are interested in, its the almighty $. We Preach "Made in the USA", but quite frankly most of the worst made crap I've bought was made here, Not overseas.

Part 11: Plateau Chapter 124: Spoiled Janet cut the engine to her car and sighed relief. The trip was over. The weekend was just begun. Unification was less than twenty-four hours, but being trapped in a moving box was done. Everyone could have their own space. Everyone except me, that is, but I’d grown used to the constant monitoring. Life as a Little was already a panopticon. Adoption just made it so that there were periods of time where you were the only cell being monitored. “Alright,” Janet’s mother groaned and opened up her door. “Let’s get settled in, right Pop Pop?” Her father chuckled. “That’s right Nana. I’ll get the bags.” I nibbled on my tongue to keep from flinching. I was going to be hearing those two words a lot over the next several days no doubt. It’s a good thing Janet didn’t snatch me up while she was still married. I don’t know that I could have withstood the feedback loop of two Amazons pumping up one another’s crazy for such a prolonged period of time. Half the reason I was able to get away with calling Janet by her proper name as much as I did was because she didn’t have a collaborator constantly reinforcing her as ‘Mommy’. Helen got out and stretched her arms to the garage ceiling. Bill exited and slid around to the trunk. Janet popped said trunk, and as had become familiar, circled over to me. “I don’t mind getting Clark out,” Janet’s mom offered. Okay, it was more of a hint. She might as well have been looking at Janet’s dessert and asked if she were getting full. Janet didn’t take the hint. “No thanks, Mom,” she replied. “Clark’s used to me getting him out of his carseat.” She opened the door, leaned in and released me from my restraints. “Come to think of it,” she said, “I think I’m the only one that’s ever put him in or taken him out of his car seat.” “Oh…” her mother said with all the sad disillusionment of a child learning they could not fly if they jumped off the roof and flapped their arms hard enough, “Routine is important.” I kept my mouth shut so hard that my teeth were grinding themselves into powder. Jessica had carted me around too, but there was no reason ‘Nana’ had to know that. Janet carried me up the garage steps and held the door open for her parents. Her father tugged and jostled the tremendous suitcase, while her mother opted to grab the extra bag that had been shoved beneath my dangling legs. “Do you want me to get Clark’s buggy thing out of the trunk, Pookie?” her father called. Janet’s eye twitched so subtly that I almost didn’t notice it despite being close enough to bite her. Someone didn’t like her childhood nickname, especially now that I knew it’s origin. “No thanks, Daddy. I don’t use the stroller often enough. Maybe it’ll get more use in toy form.” She bobbed me slightly like it was a hint. “We should take a walk this weekend,” Janet’s mom said coming through the door. “It’d be like old times as a family. You, me, your father, and a stroller.” “Only this time,” Janet interjected, “There’ll be a new baby in the stroller!” She nuzzled me gently and I couldn’t help but make a face like I’d just had mildew shoved into my mouth. “Thaaaat’s right,” Janet’s mother agreed, “One we don’t have to worry about growing up!” I suffered one final cheek pinch before she went through the damn door. The thought came to me then: Was Janet really such a late bloomer or were her parents just so baby crazy that they delayed and sabotaged her for as long as they could get away with? Zoge seemed more than content having a biological daughter who would never get past toddlerhood. What did that say about my students and their parents? The first time I’d almost been abducted, it was because an Amazon still wanted to have a baby around the house as soon as I’d gotten her kid ready for Kindergarten. How…typical. Her father was lightly huffing, lugging his suitcase. “Thank you, Pookie.” “Welcome,” Janet chirped. “Want some help?” “No thanks. I got it.” He grunted and lugged it up and over the threshold. “It was harder getting it unstuck is all. Now it’s easy street.” Janet closed the door and we watched as her parents walked deeper into the house. “Guest room where it was last time?” her dad asked. Janet followed behind a few steps into the living room. “No, that’s Clark’s room now. You’re looking for the office. I can show you if you want-” “No, I got it,” her Dad said. “I’ll just look for the room that’s got the bed without bars,” he chuckled, to himself, and kept walking. Janet seemed comfortable enough letting her father explore and slowed. More likely was that her mother yet lingered, examining with an intensity just short of drill sergeant, her mother slow rolled through the kitchen and the living room. She didn’t touch anything, but her eyes scanned all. “No baby gates,” she noted. “I don’t see a playpen, or baby gym, either.” This woman just did not have an off switch. She was my father-in-law but with childcare instead of do-it-yourself carpentry and alcohol. Janet pointed to the nigh abandoned obstacle course box. “We’ve got one in the cor-” “I’m guessing you do a lot of lap time?” Her mother brightened. Janet perked up immediately. “We do!” Janet said. “He’s a real cuddle bug.” “Thought so,” her mother commented. “Does he watch television or play on the floor?” “Sometimes, yes.” “But no playmat so his knees don’t get worn out crawling on the floor?” Janet froze. “We didn’t get one at the baby shower and it didn’t seem practical,” she said. “Good,” her mother said, oddly satisfied. “Good?” Janet and I said in unison. “I noticed the socket plugs and drawer latches so he doesn’t hurt himself trying to get things for himself,” the older Amazon reported. “But you’re still giving him a good combination of freedom to explore and personalized attention. I’m proud of you, baby girl.” It wasn’t the first time today she’d been praised like this, but Janet reacted like a camel being offered water. “Thank you?” Her mother shook her head, but kept smiling. “Really, sweetie. Take the compliment. I’m proud of you.” “Why is it a good thing we don’t have a playmat?” Helen Foster beamed. “Be right back.” She practically skipped off after his husband. “Is this normally what Unification is like in your family?” I whispered. “Kind of,” Janet whispered back. “Mom normally goes through the fridge and pantry and starts making a grocery list for the feast. Dad plops down and watches football.” “What’s going on now?” I asked. “No clue,” Janet answered. “They’re up to something.” We didn’t have to wait long to find out. The pair came back out to the living room not two minutes later. Her dad had a rainbow colored blanket tucked under his arm, with the surface divided up into different colored squares. It almost looked like a two dimensional rendering of an unsolved Rubix cube. It had a slicker sheen compared to the cottony softness of a proper blanket, but still wrinkled and furrowed from the pressure of the man’s grip. Her mom carried two rectangular gift wrapped boxes, the smaller one stacked on top of the larger. “This one is from your Nana,” her dad said to me. He unfolded it once and doubled the surface area. Then again. And again. And again. It was an infinite newspaper that doubled over on it self and folded out of his direct control. “Just a second,” he grumbled, shaking it like an over starched bedsheet. It laid it on the ground in front of the television. The factory made creases were barely visible when it was all laid out. “Every baby should have a space that’s for them,” her mother said. “Keep them safe and make them feel welcome, and it still be theirs. It’s his house too!” “Oooooh,” Janet said, clearly relieved. “That’s why you were glad he didn’t have a mat or a playpen!” “Can’t spoil my grand baby if I get him something he already has,” she said, smugly. She was proud of herself and in no way attempting to hide it. “Give it a try.” Janet took me off her hip and lowered me down by the armpits onto the thin padded mat. My bare feet touched the bright patchwork pattern and my weight settled. “It’s…” I stopped and couldn’t help but marvel at it. “Oh…” The mat couldn't have been three millimeters thick unfurled as it was. Somehow, it was the softest and most forgiving thing. I’d ever been on. It was better than my old bed. I felt aches in my feet that I didn’t know I had start to vanish. The fibers in the foam pushed back in equal measure to the weight I was pressing down on. “Oh…oh wow…” I took a knee and felt the same sensation massaging my legs back in turn. “Wow…” From a purely tactile standpoint, this was literally the most comfortable I could ever remember being in my whole life. I felt the half-slick half-stick of vinyl on my bear skin, but cushioning made me feel weightless. “I think he likes it, Nana,” the older man chuckled. “He should,” his wife said back. “With as much as that cost, I’d hope so.” “Yeah, we might have to delay our retirement by a year with how much this thing was.” “Mom! Dad!” Janet gasped. “You didn’t!” “Your father’s just being dramatic, dear.” Speaking of dramatic, I stood up to my feet, took a breath and dove straight forward into the center, belly flopping with a sickening thud. “Clark!” Janet said. “Are you alright?” “Mmmhmmm,” I buzzed between my lips. Even kissing this thing felt good. “He’s fine, Pookie.” Her dad said. “That mat is the safest spot in the house. I could powerbomb him onto that thing and he wouldn’t get a bruise.” It was true. If not for the texture beneath me I might think I was floating. I rolled over onto my back, and closed my eyes. It would be very easy for a Little to get used to this type of comfort. The world outside the thin cushioned square would seem so much harder and harsher in comparison. I was as reluctant to get up and walk around as if the perfect cat had curled up on my chest and started purring. I could nap here. I could play here. I could stay here. If only I had my tablet, I could be so bold as to lay on here and tinker all day. Tablet! I stopped breathing and forced myself to rise. I looked up at Janet and about faced, toddled in the opposite direction. The soles of my feet screamed at me upon stepping off, but I persevered. The car ride was over, but I was still putting on a show. “Thank you Nana,” I said, wrapping my arms around the woman’s legs and burying my head into her thighs. “I really like your gift.” It hurt to say because it was true. Such marvels the Amazons created. If only they came in ‘adult’. “You’re welcome, baby boy,” she said. The air whooshed by me in an instant and I opened my eyes to find myself resting on her hip. As long as she didn’t tickle me. I was carried away to the couch and sat down. The other two giants migrated towards me, and loomed, Janet to the left of her mother, and her father to the right. I was surrounded and scrutinized on a couch cushion stage. This was my baby shower all over again. “This next present is from your Pop Pop,” the Foster family matriarch said. She handed me the larger of the two gift wrapped boxes. The paper was baby blue with repeating storks carrying bundles dotting it in even geometrically precise spacing. “It’s very special.” “It’s not as fancy as the playmat,” her dad explained, “but I hope you’ll like it anyways.” “I’m sure he will, Dad.” Yup. Still performing. Gift giving as a ritual was often more about the gift giver feeling appreciated than the gift itself. Especially gifts from Grown-Ups to perceived children. I poked at the box and felt the give. Thin cardboard. I’d heard no rattling inside. This was clothing of some kind. “What is it?” “Go ahead and open it,” Janet said. “Find out.” “Yeah, you can do it Clarky boy,” her father encouraged. “Rip it up!” My so called Nana eyed me hungrily. “Or I can hel-” I ripped into the thin paper as if it were fall of the bone baby back ribs, and threw off the plain white box top as if I were a lion gutting its kill. “Never mind!” They all laughed at that one. With the gifted clothing still concealed behind a thin line of white tissue paper, I braced myself and readied to mask my emotions. I’d already had sailor suits, onesies with embarrassing slogans, and shortalls with cutesy decorations so there was no hope of passing as anything older than two foisted upon me. The onesie I was presently wearing was an infantilized mockery of my old wardrobe. Short of the sort of dress that Ivy might wear and the mandate that for as long as they were in town I would have to play the part of their granddaughter, I couldn’t imagine worse. I was correct and happy for it. Beyond the dead paper lay a flood of red, black, and gold. Sports jerseys, hockey, football, baseball, and basketball were folded inside. Some loose fitting shorts, too. All were a bloody crimson with black trim, on them a noble lion emblazoned in gold somewhere on the chest staring seriously forward. It wasn’t my goofy dead eyed lion with it’s vacant stitched on smile, of course, but it was still a very good mascot. “The Leos?” I read the team name off one of the many jerseys. “University of Nemeanna Leos,” Bill puffed out his chest. “My old Alma Mater.” He waggled his finger. “You uh…”I looked over the inventory, “Got me a little bit of everything.” I smiled as best as I could. Clothing was rarely the most exciting gift for me, especially when I was a kid the first time around. It was easy to fake the manners. “Thank you, Pop Pop!” “That’s just the first part of your present, Clarky boy. The second part is a promise.” I didn’t ask what. Didn’t have to. “I’ve got season tickets to just about every home game for every big sport,” he said. “Whenever you and your Mommy come and visit Nana and Pop Pop, we’ll have us a boys’ day out and watch a game. I got a matching outfit for every one of those, so we’ll be rolling in style, kiddo.” Janet indicated a sporty looking polyester shirt and matching pants that was second from bottom. “Even the male cheerleader outfit, Daddy?” “Ahhhh, no.” her dad fiddled with his hand on top of his head. “Your mother made me put that one in, Pookie.” “I think Clark would look very cute,” Helen said, “dressed up and helping the real cheerleaders from the stands.” My tongue worked around the back of my teeth, trying to muster some form of sincerity. I wasn’t going to be visiting. But the old guy just met me and wanted to spend time with me sharing his favorite past times. In some ways that was just as impressive as any of the gadgets. “Thank you Pop Pop.” It was easier to smile that time. “Dad,” Janet interrupted, “how are you going to do a boys’ day out if you’re not changing diapers?” Realization flashed on his face. “I…did not think about that.” A splash of color painted itself on his cheeks as he said, “Maybe one of you girls could tag along.” “You don’t wanna spend time with just me, Pop Pop?” My eyes became big and mournful. “Just because I’m a baby?” Janet was resting her chin on her hand, her fingers fanning out over her lips, forcing herself to look away lest she bust out laughing. She knew what I was doing. “No…uh…Clark..it’s…it’s-it’s it’s not that. It’s just that…” “If Mommy and Nana are gone,” I pretended to choke up, “am I gonna have to sit in my mess until they get back?” Both giantesses smirked and drilled holes into the man’s skull using only their gaze. “Yeah, Pop Pop,” Janet said. “Is he?” “Do you not know how?” my voice cracked. “Is that it?” “Yeah, Bill,” his wife drilled into him. “Is that it? Are you a slow learner?” I didn’t think the man could get pinker. Outside I was fighting back tears. Inside I was cackling. That’ll teach him to pull the old fart joke on me. “I’m sorry, Pop Pop,” I said. “I didn’t mean to. I can’t help it. I try to be big like you, but I ca-” “What I meant to say is that uh…” he took off his hat and mopped his brow with it, fighting against his own stubbornness and embarrassment in the moment. “What I meant to say is that I’m not changing any diapers here! I’m on vacation, you know.” No one interrupted him, leaving him to drown in his own quiet. “Buuuuut…when you two come visit us, I guess it’d be your vacation. So yeah, Clark. I’ll pack a diaper bag.” Any looming waterworks were turned off. Proportional revenge complete. “I’m holding you to that, Bill,” Janet’s mother said. “As long as I can get it in Leo colors, I’ll be fine,” he replied. Then to me he said, “keep digging Clarky boy, there’s one you missed.” I piled Little sized jerseys daintily one on top of the other in the reverse order that they’d revealed themselves. Down at the bottom of the clothes’ box was one final shirt. It was the same red, black, and gold design as its predecessors but its colors were worn and faded. I dug in with both hands and unfurled it. The thing blanketed me; practically a circus tent. “Dad,” Janet gasped. “Is that what I think it is?” “Mhm,” he said. “Lemme show you, something.” He reached over and gently took it from my grasp. I gave it up without resistance. It’d have been difficult to read without him holding the thing for me. He turned it around so that I could read the back. “Foster,” I read aloud. “Number forty-eight.” “Pop Pop’s old football jersey from when he was in college,” he proudly said. “For you, bud.” Janet was beside herself with surprise. “Dad, you never take that thing out of its case!” “Not true,” he said. “It’s the first shirt you ever wore. Soon as we got you home from the hospital. I got the baby pictures to prove it.” Now it was Janet’s turn to fight back tears; the difference being she wasn’t faking it. This dumb shirt from the guy’s glory days gone past really meant something to him. “Why?” she asked. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Seemed right. I don’t got any heirlooms or whatever that a kid would want. Figured maybe he could use it as a sleep shirt or something. You did.” “You’re not dying or anything are you?” “Ha!” he bellowed. “Pookie, I just made our Little rugrat a promise to take him to a game and pack a diaper bag. I gotta live forever if I’m gonna make that sacrifice worth it.” “Oh,” Janet laughed to herself, embarrassed. “Yeah.” She regained her composure. “Clark, say thank you.” This was not a request. Even I could read the room well enough to know there are some buttons left unpushed. Also, I’d never gotten an heirloom before. Sometimes it really is the thought that counts. “Thank you, Pop Pop! I love it!” He put the old worn jersey back in the box with care normally reserved for holy artifiacts. “You’re welcome, kiddo. And I love you too.” Janet’s mom took charge again. “This last present is from both of us,” she handed me the smallest gift. It was wrapped identically, but the case beneath was stiffer and had less give. She said to Janet, “It’s technically for Clark, but it might be a present for you too, dear.” “Probably should have let him open up this one, first,” her dad said. “But it’s kind of nice in a practical sort of way.” I tore open the wrapping paper carelessly tossing it aside, curious to see what next oddly thoughtful or convenient gift had been bestowed to me from the pair of doting would-be grandparents. My disappointment and horror showed only in my faint reflection thanks to my placing the ‘gift’ directly in front of my face. It was a DVD case, still wrapped and vacuum sealed. It sparkled in tinfoil silver. The cover was two lightly stenciled children, one girl and one boy, wearing simple pastel colored t-shirts, pink and blue respectively. They were barefoot but wore plain white panties and briefs. Yet when I tilted the case just so, the holographic cover changed. The girl and boy looked less chubby, their limbs slightly longer. Their t-shirts sized down with them, but the outline of their underwear remained the same, seeming much puffier by comparison. The frills on the waistline of the girl’s panties and the front fold panel on the boy’s briefs disappeared, each replaced with the tiny rectangles on either side representing diaper tapes. And just as quickly, moving it changed it once more. Littles in diapers turned into Amazon toddlers in undies and back again. The title at the top, changed similarly. Look at it dead on and it was “Potty Time: No More Diapers!” Tilt your head less than an inch and it was “Potty Time? No! More Diapers!” A hypno-cartoon. Three guesses to what watching it did. The first two don’t count. I slammed the door shut on any and all emotions and made my mask up. “Here, Mommy,” I said. “It’s for you.” “We know some Littles have a hard time accepting their diapers,” Janet’s Mom spoke over my muted horror. “This video is supposed to help with that.” “Yeah, it’s a potty training video,” her dad said, placing his hat back on his head. “Teaches kids all about using the potty and lets them decide if they’re ready for it, y’know.” Janet’s expression became identical to my own. “Mhm,” she said. “That’s what it says on the back.” “One of our neighbors recommended it,“ her mother went on. “He’s got three Little girls. We were there when he adopted the third. She was so fussy for that first week, but then she started getting better.” Bill tagged in. “Says he just plopped the tots down in front of the screen for an hour every day, and before he knew it, they were singing the songs and laughing like nobody’s business. No more fuss about being big girls.” Janet cracked open the case and turned it over in the way one might examine a weapon. “It’s double sided.” “Yeah,” her father nodded, oblivious to Janet’s quiet panic and outrage once more. “One for the Littles, one for regular kids. Same basic story or whatever, but different characters. Kids like to see characters that look like them, you know?” Were they really so basic? So willfully ignorant? So…so…typical? Evidently, yes. “That way parents with Littles and Amazon children can show them each a cartoon that will help them decide if they’re ready for the big kid potty or not,” her mother concluded. “Let them each develop and mature at their own pace.” Knowingly or not, what she really meant was that the video could be used to actually help potty train children, while mindfucking Littles into liking their forced infantilizations. In some instances, they could give themselves plausible deniability by flipping it over to the safe side depending on whether or not hypnosis was legal in an area or not. “Clark?” Janet’s dad broke in. “You okay there, Clarky boy? You’re lookin’ awfully red, there. Is he pooping, Pookie?” “Mom. Dad.” Janet said. “I really appreciate the gift, but Clark-” “I’m not potty trained!” I burst out. “I’m just a baby! I like my diapers! The potty scares me! It’s too stressful! I don’t wanna learn again!” I smiled, but only because I was reflexively fighting down sobbing in terror. Janet nudged her mother aside and picked me up. “I don’t think it’s needed,” she said softly. “But thank you for the thought.” She rubbed and patted my back, trying her best to soothe me “Is he crying?” her mother asked. “Clark? What’s wrong, baby?” “Knew we should have led with that one,” her father lamented. “Should have gone practical gift, sentimental gift, fun gift. Movie and clothes; jersey; playmat.” Janet answered for me. “I think Clark’s just a tad overstimulated. It’s been a big day.” The perfect lie was a half truth. “Why don’t we go get you dressed up in one of these outfits?” Janet said in a way that wasn’t exactly asking. I felt her lean forward and grab one of them. “Then you can show Pop Pop Lion and lay on the mat. Maybe take a nice nap?” “Good idea, Pookie.” “Take your time, dear,” her mother agreed. “I know how babies can be. Sometimes they just need their Mommies, right?” “Yeah. Thanks, Mom.” “Maybe give him some milk, too. That always calmed you down when you were that little. You’re breastfeeding right?” My right hand quietly snuck behind Janet’s neck and my nails dug into the back of her neck; I was a cat threatening with my claws. “We’re experimenting with formula and juice at the moment,” Janet said. “Trying to figure out what works best for him.” “Breast is best, dear.” “Thank you, Mother.” she quickly stepped away. “‘Scuse us.” “What channel gets sports, Pookie?” her dad called out. “Thirty-five, Daddy!” “I’m going to take inventory so I can make my casserole.” “Sure, Mom!” My skin boiled. I let myself forget how completely awful most Amazons could be. How callous they were in their indifference; how aggressive they were in how they smothered you; how utterly self-centered and ego-centric; how determined they were to view themselves as something other than what they were. Typical. Janet shut the nursery door behind us and locked it. “I am not breastfeeding!” I hissed. My voice whispered even though my face shouted. “I know,” she said, her face still a mask of placid calm it had been; just shy of full frigid cold. “I’m not intending to make you.” She laid me down on the changing table. “You did very well out there. Thank you.” I struggled to turn my countenance into something besides the snarl of a rabid animal. “You’re welcome. What are you going to do about that movie?” She showed me. She took the DVD, held it up I could see it, snapped it in half, and shoved both halves down the diaper pail. “This.” Witnessing the vile disc’s destruction made my pulse start to slow. “Yeah. Okay. Thanks, Janet.” “Welcome.” I was on the changing table for a reason. She repositioned herself and undid my tapes. “See why I was stressed?” I nodded, “Mhm.” “They’re good parents, but they’re like that sometimes.” That wasn’t the defense she thought it was. “I’m gonna lose it, Janet. I’m gonna lose it.” I plopped my hands on top of my face. “You’re doing great,” she said, cleansing me and powdering me as she always did. “I think the worst is over. They’re only going to be here for a couple days. They’re here tomorrow, and leave on Friday.” Friday felt a long way away after that rollercoaster of awkward. “Why are you changing me anyway?” I groaned. “I’m not that wet.” “Would you rather my mother change you? I’m trying to stay ahead of the game here.” My hands didn’t move from my face. “Honestly? I don’t care.” Almost every other woman in my life had gotten into my pants by this point. A couple men too. What was one more at this stage? “If she wants to, let her. Give me chili and coffee three meals a day. Just get her to stop tickling me, shut her up about the breastfeeding and stop being so…so…” “Herself?” Not my preferred word, but - “Kinda, yeah.” Janet finished changing me and took the last remnants of one costume off so she could swap me into another. “Hope you like being a cheerleader,” she said. “It was top of the pile. Sorry.” “Whatever.” “You can bring Lion and torture him on the play mat.” She snorted and said, “Actually, Dad might get a kick out of that.” “Can I do stupid stuff like belly flops on top of him?” “No.” “Mommy!” I whined, my hands still covering my face. “It’s comfy” “Fine,” she grunted, slipping the polyester leggings over me. “But nothing that could land you on your head. No flips or anything.” “Can I land on Lion’s head?” “Yes, that’s fine.” **************************************************************************************************** The rest of the afternoon was a blur. Janet and her mother made a grocery run. Over that hour I alternated between suplexing Lion onto the impossibly soft mat, and just zonking out and watching football with her dad. “You a wrestler?” Bill asked. “No. But I’d rather pretend that than be a cheerleader.’ “Atta boy.” Everything was draining to the point where if I did dream, I don’t remember it. Tomorrow was going to be rough. Family gatherings like Unification were always rough. That it wasn’t my family I’d be with didn’t help. What would the Braun’s be doing without us? Did they at least get my letter? I banished the grim contemplation from my mind before I realized I was awake. No nightmares plagued me, forcing my conscious mind to swim through the darkness of dreamland up into a terrible waking world to get a gulp of fresh air. My bladder was no longer in the habit of obeying me without active vigilance, so my slumber was uninterrupted by a stretched bladder requesting release. No joints or muscles ached from age that my captors would rather deny. “Fuck,” I cursed. I rolled over onto my stomach and felt the uncomfortable rock in my gut. I rolled back and felt a fullness between my cheeks and a desire to push. I had to poop. There were no sharp pangs or cramps. No terrible wave of gut racking pain to force me to violate myself. It was simple, mundane discomfort. Just enough for my conscious mind to hone in on to prevent it from drifting back off. The kind of distress that was only urgent if it was sleep I craved. Shit myself and lay in it until Janet got up. Or stay up until well past dawn with nothing to occupy my time. Alone with my shit or alone with my thoughts. What a choice. I sat up and stared at the baby monitor. Maybe not… As I had done too many times before, I crawled over and grabbed crib rails. I stood up and closed my eyes, ignoring the circus tent of a shirt draped around my body. Janet had had to safety pin the neck shut so that it didn’t slip off me at the color. Enough of that, for now. I picked a spot behind my eyelids, tried not to think about where I was, and pushed as hard as I could. A few seconds, and some muffled farts later, the mess came out of me, same as it always did. As hydrated as Janet kept me with all the fruits and fiber she made sure to make me eat, the act was literally easier than it ever had been. Any other reason was soundly rejected by my mind. A few intense pants passed while I built up the nerve to use the baby monitor for its intended purpose. Fuck it. “Mommy!” I called. The light in the darkness started blinking. “Mommy, I need changed, please.” The light kept blinking. Had she heard it? “Mommy? Are you there?” No footsteps came. No calls or voices from the monitor or the hallway. No way of knowing if the message had gone through. “Mommy? Are you there? Can you hear me?” The door opened. A familiar shadow, outlined by the nightlight crept in. “Hey hey, Clark,” a voice whispered. “Need a new diaper?” “Janet?” “Nana,” she corrected me. She walked up to the crib, the specifics of her face only becoming apparent when she was by the railing. In the dark she looked and sounded so much like my Mommy. “What are you?” “My room is closer,” she spoke softly. “I heard you crying.” Two hands lifted me out of the crib. “Let’s get you sorted out and back to bed.” The door creaked. “Mom?” Janet’s voice sleepily called from the darkness. “I’ve got him, Janet. Go back to bed dear.” She laid me down and hiked up the sleep shirt so that my diaper was exposed and ready for operation. Impressive considering the darkness. “Is he okay?” “Just a messy diaper,” her mother reported. “Nothing I haven’t handled before.” She spared a moment to lean out and press the button on the monitor to stop it from broadcasting. “You sure?” My win condition was not spending the night in a shitty Monkeez and getting off to sleep feeling dry. Didn’t matter who helped with the first objective, as long as it happened fast so I could stay groggy and achieve the second. “I’m fine, Mommy.” “Okay,” Janet yawned. “Night Mom. Night Clark. I love you.’ “Love you too,” Janet’s mother called back. That was enough for Janet to sleepily shuffle back across the house. I laid on the changing table with my eyes closed and grumbled while the strap was fastened across me. Maybe I could pass out mid change. Maybe I’d be allowed to sleep in till nine or ten. That’d be nice. Maybe I could weasel that out of Janet’s folks in the name of ‘spoiling’ me. “You didn’t say, ‘I love you’ back to your Mommy,” the Amazons said. “Why’s that?” I yawned and feigned being sleepier than I really was. “Hm? She did?” Quiet tongue clicks came in reply. “Oh, Littles. It’s a good thing you’re all so cute. Otherwise I don’t know what we’d do with you.” I suppressed a snide remark about leaving us alone so she could start to clean me up. “Don’t you wanna turn the light on?” I asked. “Not miss a spot?” “I can see well enough, Little boy,” she snipped. “Thank you.” Yikes. “Sorry.” “It’s okay, sweetie. You can’t help it.” The conversation paused only as long as it took for her to ball up the used diaper and pile it on top of the broken hypno-cartoon. “Help what?” The giantess pivoted the conversation. “I’m really happy that Janet found you when she did,” she said. “I think you’re good for her.” My eyes started adjusting to the darkness. The strangest sense of deja vu washed over me, like waves of cold ocean water splashing up against me as I was buried up to my neck on the beach. I’d heard something like this before. Not from her. Not from any Amazon. Different lyrics, same melody. “Thank you?” “You’re welcome, baby,” her voice softened an instant. She used too much cream, smeared it everywhere. “I’m glad she had the restraint to wait till after the divorce to Adopt you.” Very different lyrics. But a hauntingly familiar melody. “Why? Was he abusive?” “No,” she said. “I don’t think so. But you and Edward wouldn’t have gotten along.” Now it was too much powder. All the way to my belly button. The last time I’d heard this song, there had been organ music accompanying it. I’d been wearing a rented tuxedo. “Why?” “You’d have fought,” Janet’s mother said. “And that’s not right. Picking on a baby for something he can’t help. It’s not like you’d be an actual threat to anyone.” The diaper covered me up, feeling off, crooked. It wasn’t quite right. Needed to be realigned. “Your Mommy loves you. Just not like that. Not like you love her.” The last time I’d heard this ditty, a Little with the muscle mass of a Tweener was keeping his hand on my shoulder, and started it with ‘If you ever hurt her…’. ‘“Huh?” The strap went loose. I was lifted off and placed back down in the crib. A blanket was drawn over me. “No need to be ashamed, baby boy.” In the darkness Helen Foster’s voice sounded far more sinister; her shadow cloaked smile looked far more predatory. “It’s natural. Your Mommy’s very nice, and very pretty. I bet from your perspective, you had a crush. Thought she liked you back.” “A crush?” I echoed stupidly. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to believe it. Couldn’t stop listening. “She does love you back,” the old woman repeated. “Just not like that.” “Like what?!” Why was I asking this? Why did it feel like there was an ice pick positioned directly above my heart? Helen Foster’s hand brushed against my tangled mess of hair. “I see how you look at her, dear. You’re not the first Little who fell in love with a Grown-Up and got Adopted instead. You won’t be the last. Probably not what you were fantasizing about when you two met, but you’re still one of us. You’re family, baby boy. Your Mommy loves you more than you’ll ever know. Nana and Pop Pop love you, too.” I’d heard this song before. Different lyrics. Same melody. Except for the last line, which they had in common. “Welcome to the family, Clark.” She left the nursery and quietly closed the door behind her. I didn’t go back to sleep.

Hey everyone and welcome to my new story! It has the same title as a story I began a few years ago and since deleted as I wasn’t satisfied with it. Completely different story apart from it revolves around British characters visiting the US. Hope you enjoy! ————— Chapter 1 “Have you got everything?” Kerry said as she joined her son Ben at the end of the airport security scanner conveyor belt. “Yeah all good, I’m glad my bag didn’t get pulled to the side for any searches!” Ben said as he picked up his suitcase and set it down on its wheels. “Oh they rarely do. Shall we go and get some breakfast?” Kerry suggested as she led him towards the vast duty free area of Heathrow Terminal 5. Although it felt like it, this was far from a holiday for Ben. Only a few months after his nineteenth birthday, his mother had decided now was the right time to look at out of the box solutions to a problem that had plagued him for most of his life. At least 4 or 5 mornings a week, Ben would wake up either with wet bedsheets or a soaking adult nappy. They had visited multiple doctors and specialists and none of them could get to the bottom of why he was having trouble staying dry at night, and it was becoming a real concern for Kerry who realised he’d soon want to be moving out and starting a life on his own. For this reason, and after days of research, she’d found a clinic in the US that specialised in bedwetting in teens and adults that seemingly had a 90%+ success rate. Luckily for her she worked as an accountant and was also boosted by generational wealth so it was no problem paying the associated fees to get her son to this clinic. After some pushback he reluctantly agreed to take the trip and she decided she’d accompany him to make sure he was buying into the treatment. “So looking at the itinerary, I think the clinic has a taxi ready for us when we land at JFK!” Kerry said as she held her phone in one hand. “That’s cool. Mum are you absolutely sure about this? I looked up the clinic and they don’t have much information on their website. Is it definitely legit?” Ben asked. “Ben don’t worry sweety. I’ve spoken to them on the phone quite a few times and they are definitely real, and the results speak for themselves. This could really change your life. Now come on and finish up your breakfast, we’ve got to get you ready for the flight before we go to our gate” Kerry ordered. Ben scoffed the remains of his beans on toast and him and Kerry made their way to the nearest toilets. As Ben was about to head into the men’s toilets, his mum grabbed his arm and stopped him. “I think it’ll be a good idea if I give you a hand, let’s go in here” Kerry said as she led him into the disabled toilet, with no fight from Ben. Kerry grabbed Ben’s bag and opened it up, revealing a stack of Goodnites next to a stack of Tena Slip Maxi’s. Ben’s mood dropped when she saw him pick up the latter. “It’s a long flight and you’ll probably fall asleep so I think it’s best you go with a nappy Ben okay?” Kerry explained. “Mum don’t call it that!” Ben snapped back. “Sorry, I mean a ‘Tena’. Hop up on there” Kerry corrected herself as she pointed towards the changing table. Ben reluctantly hopped on and allowed his mum to strap him into a nappy. This had become a regular occurrence most mornings and he was beyond the point of embarrassment. Once he was strapped in he stood up and pulled his grey joggers over the top of the nappy. His bum looked slightly flat but thankfully it wasn’t overly obvious he was wearing a nappy. They then left the toilets and took the long journey over to their gate ready to board the flight. There was already a queue but Kerry had purchased priority boarding so it wasn’t long before they were heading down the walkway towards the plane door. “Welcome onboard” the air stewardess said in her American accent. Ben couldn’t help but slyly look her up and down and admired her tight pencil dress and he thought how incredibly hot she was. He nodded and she smiled back, which made him blush. “Here we are Ben, do you want the window seat?” Kerry asked as she placed both of their bags in the overhead locker. “Yes please” Ben replied as he shuffled over the aisle and the middle seat before plopping down on his seat. Kerry saw his nappy poke up over his joggers as he shuffled across the seats. Ben then quickly got to work scanning the in-flight entertainment and discovered that there were loads of new movies he hadn’t seen yet and smiled at the thought of watching a few. The plane quickly filled up and before he knew it they were preparing for takeoff. All of the pre-flight rituals were being carried out and he just stared out the window waiting to watch the plane take off so he could get a view of the English countryside disappear into the clouds. Once they had taken off, Ben was preparing to settle down to watch Deadpool vs Wolverine. He looked over at his mum who was reading one of her many novels she loved reading. “Mum I’m going to watch a film now so don’t expect me to respond if you try and talk to me!” Ben said as he nudged his mum’s arm. “Okay sweety” Kerry replied not even looking up from her book. Ben placed his headphones back onto his ears and he locked into the film. After about 45 minutes or so he began to feel his eyes getting heavy and despite fighting for another 20 minutes or so, he succumbed to tiredness. They had had a very early start getting to the airport and his lack of sleep had caught up with him. Despite his eagerness to watch the film, he just couldn’t stay awake. He was jolted awake by a crescendo in the third act of the film, and simply opened his eyes as if he’d not missed any of it. As the credits rolled, he sat up from his slunched position and looked around the plane to see everyone preoccupied by the screens in front of them. As he sat up straight, he noticed an all-to familiar sensation and his exploring left hand confirmed his suspicions. His crotch felt puffier than it did when he first sat down and he concluded that he must’ve wet himself after falling asleep. It wasn’t completely soaked but his Tena was noticeably bulkier than before. Annoyed with himself but not at all surprised, he looked over to his mum who had now also fallen asleep. After debating in his head, he decided to nudge her arm a few times to wake her up. “Mum. Mum!” Ben whispered. Eventually she woke up. “Yes Ben? Is your film finished?” Kerry asked. “Yeah it has. But it’s not that” Ben said quietly. “Oh, did you fall asleep?” Kerry said as she looked down at his lap. “Is it that noticeable?” Ben asked as he looked down as well. “No no I just know what you’ve got on underneath! How wet is it?” Kerry asked. “Doesn’t seem too bad but I definitely wet it” Ben said quietly, trying not to catch the attention of anyone around them. “Well we’ve only got just under 2 hours until we land and the toilets are too small on here for me to change you so you might have to just sit in it until we’re in America. Can you manage that?” Kerry explained. “Yeah okay mum” Ben agreed. For the rest of the flight, Ben made sure not to fall asleep again in order to avoid any further wettings. Once they had landed, both Kerry and Ben headed to the toilet where she changed him out of his wet nappy and back into some stripy red and grey boxers, which he much preferred. After a good hour getting through security, they retrieved their bags and headed to the exit of the airport. “Oh look there’s our ride!” Kerry said as she pointed towards a tall brunette woman holding up an iPad with their names on, and the logo of the clinic underneath. “Kerry and Benjamin Chandler? Welcome to the United States! Ready to go?” The woman greeted them. “All good, great to be here. Thank you so much for picking us up” Kerry replied. “Our pleasure. It’s all part of the package! Let me take your bags” the woman then placed their bags on a trolley and they headed to the parking lot, where they were bundled into a large black people carrier. As they got in the back they marvelled at the lavish interior complete with leather seats and an ice bucket with bottles of water inside. They also noticed a screen just in front of the front seats. “You guys get comfortable, we’ll be at the clinic in an hour or so. As part of onboarding, the clinic have created this welcome movie for you guys to watch. It’ll set it to play once we hit the road” the woman explained. “That’s amazing thank you so much. I never caught your name?” Kerry enquired. “Oh of course. My name is Maria. I’ll let you guys relax and let you know when we arrive. Enjoy the journey!” Maria replied. A pane of glass then hummed from the ceiling and shut them off to the front seats and the TV screen booted up. After a few minutes it began to play a video. “On behalf of the Rockaway Clinic, we’d like to welcome you to the United States. My name is Dr Luna Jones, lead doctor at the clinic. This video is to put any nerves at ease and help you get to know what we’re all about” the tall, beautiful blonde woman, who looked no older than 40, explained as she stood in front of the futuristic white building. For the next 45 minutes, both Kerry and Ben watched a tour of the clinic. It looked like a super modern version of the private clinics they’d been to in England and they were shown case studies of other ‘residents’ varying in age and gender. Admittedly it did what Dr Jones said and it did calm Ben’s nerves, it looked quite nice and everyone seemed very friendly. Before they knew it the car eased past a set of big security gates and the clinic came into view. “Here we are, welcome to the Rockaway Clinic!” Maria said as she pulled up to the main entrance. As Kerry and Ben stepped out, two members of staff opened the boot and took their bags as Maria guided them into reception. As the doors opened, they were met by the sight of Dr Jones herself. “Kerry and Benjamin, welcome were so glad to see you! How was the flight?” Dr Jones asked as she shook both of their hands. “It was very smooth actually, this place is incredible!” Kerry said in awe of the building she was in. “Thank you, we’re very proud of it! I know you guys are probably tired but would you like to start the induction process? How does that sound Benjamin?” Dr Jones asked directly. “Yeah okay, thanks Dr Jones” Ben replied. “Let’s get this show on the road then! And please, call me Luna” she replied as she led them into one of the induction rooms. It looked like an doctors office with a desk and some accompanying chairs. Luna sat at the desk and Kerry and Ben sat on the chairs to the right of her. “So hopefully the video you watched on the journey here has done some ground work for me but I’ll cut to the chase. As you know our clinic specialises in treating, and hopefully curing, nocturnal enuresis. Now you’ve obviously been super helpful filling in all the necessary paperwork prior to arriving but I’d just like to ask a few questions” Luna explained. “Benjamin are you happy to answer a few for me?”. “Yep happy to” Ben replied. He was used to this considering the amount of doctors he’d seen. “First question. How often do you wake up with a wet bed, or wet protection?” Luna asked as she began making notes. “Maybe 4 or 5 times a week” Ben answered. “Okay. And you were protection every night? What type of protection?” Luna continued. “I do. And sometimes I wear Goodnites, sometimes Tenas” Ben answered confidently. “Great. And on a scale of 1 to practically unconscious, how deep do you sleep?” Luna asked. “Probably an 8 or 9” Ben estimated. “Brilliant thank you so much Benjamin. Those were helpful answers, but you’ve also shown maturity and acceptance of your condition. That’s sometimes hard to get from some of our residents” Luna explained. “So a few things you need to know during your stay. Firstly you’ve been allocated a twin dormitory on site which has everything you need for your stay. Full catering is available, as well as fitness and entertainment facilities” Luna elaborated. “Wow sounds amazing! Weird question, but what’s expected of me during treatment?” Kerry asked. “No problem. Of course you’ll be providing moral support to Benjamin, but we also like partners and parents to be an active part of treatment so you’ll be getting involved at certain points. When you are not needed, there are plenty of others here in your position so feel free to socialise with them” Luna said. “So Benjamin a few things for you as you’ll be the one receiving treatment. In order to encourage our other residents to feel at ease and equal to others, you’ll be provided with clothing that you’ll be expected to wear during your stay, which are in the changing room next door”. Ben was slightly surprised by that. He’d packed two weeks worth of clothes which have now been rendered useless and he was anxious to see what this ‘uniform’ looked like. “Okayyy” he said rather nervously. “Your treatment starts officially tomorrow, but part of that includes providing you with certain supplements and nutritional extras so your diet will be controlled as part of treatment. It’s totally harmless and everything we do will be to help treat and cure your condition. I understand you signed the contract before arrival?” Luna enquired. “Yes we did. That’s all covered” Kerry replied on Ben’s behalf. “Perfect! So next steps are for you to get changed Ben while I go through some of the boring legal stuff with your mom. It’s just through the door there” Luna pointed at a wooden door on the opposite side of the room. Ben looked at Kerry, who looked back at him with an approving nod. “See you in a second” Kerry said lovingly. He then stood up and walked towards the door. As he opened it he was met with the sight of a changing room not to dissimilar to a changing room in a clothes shop back home. It had a mirror, bench and a coat hook which had a hanger with a suit bag hung on it. He slipped off his shoes and began to unzip the bag. He saw a white tracksuit with white trousers, a white t-shirt and a soft zip up jacket all emblazoned with the clinic logo. The trousers and jacket had a grey stripe down the arms and legs. As he pulled out the clothes he noticed that there was a pocket which had a pair of plain white underwear in it. He was surprised that the uniform included underwear but accepted it for what it was. But as he pulled them out he noticed they were briefs, which he was absolutely not used to. Back in Britain, men his age did absolutely not wear briefs and they were seen as childish and infantile, he hadn’t worn them since he was a little boy. After some hesitation, he began to undress himself and put on his new ‘uniform’, complete with his new underwear. It was quite comfortable, apart from the briefs which felt weird. As he looked in the mirror, he actually looked pretty cool he thought; as if he was an athlete getting ready to walk out onto the pitch. After one final look he folded his own clothes and walked out to see Luna and Kerry going over some documents. “Looking good Benjamin! Maria is waiting outside to take you to your dormitory. I’ll see you in the morning for your first day of treatment! Have a lovely evening” Luna said as the door opened to the sight of Maria. “Thank you so much Luna, we can’t wait to get started can we!” Kerry said excitedly as Ben nodded along. Maria then led them down multiple corridors, some with doors that had signs on such as ‘Treatment Room 1’, ‘Communal Room 3’ and ‘Transition Room 6’. Some had red and orange labels on them and some didn’t. Additionally, some corridors had sights of outdoor spaces and gardens. They also passed couples varying in age, with some clearly parent and child and some husband and wife. What was consistent is that one of the pair was wearing exactly the same tracksuit as Ben, but some had different red or orange pin badges. He wondered what they signified. “Here we are. You’re room 056. Inside is a manual and all the timings and dates you need. Dinner is served at 6pm, so you’ve got an hour or so to get settled. See you there I’m sure!” Maria explained as she turned and walked back down the corridor. Kerry unlocked the door with the key card and they were met with a spacious white room complete with two double beds, a living area with a TV and a huge bathroom. There was also another door next to the bathroom door but it seemed to be locked. “Wow look at this Ben! Incredible!” Kerry said. “Our bags are here too”. “I shotgun this bed!” Ben said as he jumped on the bed closest to the floor to ceiling window, which looked over a vast garden complete with a pond and loads of benches. He saw more couples and families walking around and enjoying the clinic. “Okay okay. I’ll unpack, are these the clothes you were wearing?” Kerry said as she picked up the pile of folded clothes he had just taken off. “Oh, are these your boxers? Did they give you some new ones?” Kerry asked as she saw his stripes boxers on top of the pile. “Oh yeah they did. I thought it was a bit weird too, they aren’t even boxers” Ben explained. “What do you mean?” Kerry asked. “They aren’t boxers, they are briefs. I think the Americans call them ‘tightey whiteys’” Ben joked. “Ha ha ha that’s so funny! Let’s see” Kerry asked. “No way!” Ben said as he stood up at the end of the bed. Without warning, she yanked down his white trousers. “Aww they are so cute! You’ve not worn pants like that since you were a little boy!” Kerry teased. “Mum please!” Ben said as he quickly pulled up his trousers. “I’m only teasing you, I’m just excited to be here. I think this is the answer to all our problems this place!” Kerry said as she picked up the laminated piece of paper on the desk which was labelled ‘Daily Schedule’.

Chapter One: The Scent of Lavender and Longing Notices: I haven't been posting much because of my college, it's complicated and I have a lot of work and I also have to work to pay for it, but I promise to post more chapters. If you want to support me, there's a link to my ko-fi and my buy me a coffee. Sorry for any spelling mistakes. I'm learning to improve my English, it's not my native language. *** The summer sun hung lazily over the sleepy suburb, casting golden streaks across the lawns and rooftops. For Lily Harper, it was supposed to be a peaceful day—curled up in her room with a dog-eared paperback, or maybe binging the latest sci-fi series she’d been raving about to her friends. At sixteen, she was a whirlwind of curiosity and independence, her short auburn hair perpetually tousled from biking through town, her hazel eyes sharp with the kind of defiance only a teenager could muster. But peace wasn’t on the agenda today. Her mother’s voice had cut through her plans like a knife that morning: “Last-minute work trip. You’re staying with Aunt Clara. No arguments.” Lily hated visiting Aunt Clara’s house. The air there always smelled of lavender and regret—a cloying mix that clung to the furniture and seeped into her clothes. It wasn’t just the scent, though. It was the way the house felt: too quiet, too still, like a museum of unfulfilled dreams. She stood in her bedroom now, shoving her Kindle, a sketchbook, and a tangle of earbuds into her suitcase, muttering under her breath. “I’m sixteen, Mom. I can stay home alone. I don’t need a babysitter.” Her mother, already halfway out the door with her own suitcase, didn’t budge. “Clara’s expecting you, Lily. Be good. It’s just a week.” A week. Seven days in that suffocating house with her aunt, who always seemed to hover too close, her smiles too wide. Lily sighed and zipped up her bag, resigned. She didn’t know it yet, but this summer—her sixteenth—was about to unravel in ways she couldn’t imagine. **** Forty miles away, Clara Bennett stood in the checkout line at the supermarket, her fingers tightening around the handle of her basket. She was 28, with soft blonde hair pulled into a neat bun and a floral sundress that screamed “housewife.” She worked part-time in marketing—crafting slogans for products she didn’t care about—but her real life was at home, waiting for something that never came. Her husband, David, was a salesman who spent more time in hotel rooms than with her, and their marriage had withered under the weight of a single, devastating truth: he was infertile. Clara’s dream of motherhood, once a vivid tapestry of nursery rhymes and tiny shoes, had frayed into a quiet, gnawing ache. The two women ahead of her in line didn’t help. They were her age, chatting brightly as the cashier scanned their items. One cradled a swollen belly, her hand resting proudly on it. The other held a pack of diapers, grinning. “I’m having my first,” the pregnant woman said, her voice bubbling with excitement. “Twenty-eight feels like the perfect time.” “Absolutely,” the other replied, tossing the diapers into her bag. “Plenty of energy to chase them around, change those diapers, enjoy every second.” Clara’s chest tightened. She stared at the jar of lavender candles in her basket, pretending to read the label. Enjoy every second. The words stung like salt in a wound. All the women her age were becoming mothers—posting baby photos online, swapping stories about sleepless nights—while she was left with an empty house and a husband who barely looked at her anymore. But today, something shifted. Her phone buzzed in her purse, and she fished it out to see a text from her sister: Lily’s staying with you for a week. Work emergency. Thanks, sis! Lily. Her niece. Sixteen, bright, a little wild—like Clara had been once, before life sanded down her edges. A slow smile crept across Clara’s face as she paid for her candles. She’d always adored Lily, hadn’t she? The girl’s visits were rare, but they’d given Clara a taste of something she craved—someone to care for, to fuss over. And now, a whole week. An idea flickered in her mind, fragile at first, then blazing. Lily could be more than a guest. She could be Clara’s chance. Not just to play aunt, but to have something—someone—to call her own. A little girl. Her little girl. The diapers in the woman’s bag flashed in her memory. Cute clothes. Soft blankets. A nursery she’d never gotten to use. Clara’s smile widened as she walked to her car, the summer heat pressing against her skin. This was fate, wasn’t it? Her luck was finally changing. Back at home, Lily dragged her suitcase down the stairs, her sneakers scuffing the hardwood. She’d argued with her mom until her throat hurt, but it was no use. “Clara’s lonely,” her mother had said, almost as an afterthought. “She could use the company.” Lily rolled her eyes. Lonely or not, Aunt Clara was weird—always watching her too closely, asking too many questions about school, about her life. Last time, she’d even tried to braid Lily’s hair, her fingers lingering like she was savoring it. It creeped Lily out. She tossed her suitcase into the backseat of her mom’s car and slumped into the passenger side. As they drove toward Clara’s house, the city faded into tree-lined streets and tidy lawns. Lily stared out the window, her Kindle resting on her lap. She’d survive this week. She’d hole up with her books and shows, tune out Clara’s hovering, and count the days until she was free again. The car pulled into the driveway of a modest two-story house, its shutters painted a faded blue. Lavender bushes flanked the porch, their scent already curling through the open window. Clara stepped out the front door, waving eagerly, her sundress swaying in the breeze. “Lily! Oh, I’m so glad you’re here!” she called, her voice too bright, her eyes glinting with something Lily couldn’t place. Lily forced a smile and grabbed her suitcase. “Hey, Aunt Clara,” she mumbled, brushing past her into the house. The air hit her like a wave—lavender and regret, thick and inescapable. She didn’t notice the way Clara’s gaze lingered on her, or the way her aunt’s hands clasped together, trembling with a quiet, desperate hope. This was going to be a long week.

^This. Example: Gary Manufacturing are based in the USA. They make pretty good plastic pants. I buy them. They do NOT however, make PVC, or any of the other raw material fabrics that go into their products. That will come from China where most of the world's PVC comes from. Sure, they could switch to US-made PVC. If they can get it. It's going to be a lot more expensive. Partly because the USA has an EPA (which is no bad thing) but mainly because there won't be enough production capacity. I guess the classical answer would be "build another PVC factory" but those things cost money and take a long time to pay for themselves: a lot longer than say, a presidential term. And that's before we consider policy flip-flopping which means the use-by date of the need to build a PVC factory could be, say, next Tuesday... Interesting times.

I trained myself back to bedwetting about 25 years ago, and my general experience supports this. At some point, my subconscious became convinced that if I needed to pee when I am asleep, it's okay to just do that. It's not so much that I will pee just because I'm asleep, but rather if I do need to pee and I'm asleep, I will. To that end, things that increase my need to pee in general... be it alcohol or stress... will make it more likely that I'll wake up wet. Things that decrease my general need to pee, including dehydration, but also just a general lack of stress, mean it's less likely. For me, I think the thoughtlessness and permission are now always there, but unless the need (opportunity) is there nothing will happen. Being on a stressful work trip and going to bed in a strange hotel room after drinking a bunch of beers is a 99.999% chance of waking up wet. Sleeping at home, with a cool rain outside, after having worked in the yard under the hot sun all day... well, I could _almost_ risk going without a diaper. (Not that my wife would be okay with that risk.) But it's all a matter of probability, even after more than two decades... From what you said there, I think there is still a journey for you... which (I guiltily admit) is good for me, because I very much enjoy reading your writing. I wonder how things will change for you as the cooler weather kicks in and you're more hydrated on average...

I prefer wet squishy diapers.

We need a red, white, and blue diaper with stars that fade when wet, fading stars rather than shooting stars. If this were my diapers, the stars would fade quickly!

I believe I asked for GOOD disposable diapers. The one's you've listed here are sadly lacking in quality....

Stilted, grammatically correct dialogue in stories is a writing/ editing problem IMO. (The editing phase of writing can be used to catch things like this. Either the author themself or an editor if the author has one). Some writers or those new to writing may struggle with this. One trick some authors use to read their dialogue out loud so they hear how it sounds and can adjust accordingly. Current case law so far has set the precedent that author-written works are copyrighted. AI-generated are not. In hybrid works where someone has added to whatever the AI came up with, only the parts the person wrote would be copyright protected. At the end of the day, people are free to do what they want and we rely on the honor system. So someone can slap their name on an AI generated story and call themself an author and claim they 100% so totally wrote it and they really are a real author. They can also buy a black belt from Amazon and call themselves a kung fu master. Doesn't make them one. The problem a lot of people have with AI are the ethical concerns because of some AI models being trained with illegally pirated books. Those are the subject of some ongoing lawsuits from professional authors and publishing houses. AI should only be trained with works in the public domain.

Little Sherri, you summarized this perfectly, I can’t believe how low America has sank since this idiot came into office. If shoes, clothing diapers and many other items were to be made in the USA the cost would be astronomical, and would take us years to establish. I just don’t see Americans clamoring to get a job sewing tee shirts for minimum wage in a sweatshop. I really don’t think Trump has a clue what he’s doing and it’s already been very costly for us Americans. My 401-K and IRA accounts are down over $70,000.00 since he took office and he’s ruined our standing and respect with our Allie’s. I can only hope this madness ends soon and our Canadian neighbors can forgive us.

This is another of those subtle cadence changes that I have also noted. I had a doctor's appointment a week ago; there was no expectation of any in-trouser work to be done, however, out of an abundance of caution, and, out of respect, I went in dry. I put on a thin, white diaper - a Tranquility ATN (ATN being an acronym for "All Through The Nappy", which is where the fluid goes when you use it - through the nappy, the way sunlight goes through gauze... I may have stolen this from you, @oznl - I know you came up for a acronym for these a while back..). Being thusly attired, I held it for the drive to the office - about 20 minutes - and I held it in the waiting room for maybe another 15, and then I got up, and uncharacteristically made my way into the washroom, for a stand-up wee the likes of which I haven't experienced in a while. It took a few beats to get things rolling, and then after I stopped, and was washing my hands - and maybe it was the faucet that triggered a Pavlovian reaction - I had a sudden, very strong urge to wee that made me look back at the gaping porcelain maw, and briefly consider reengaging with it. However, it was all over before I could pivot - Mini Me coughed a shot glass of wetness into the front of my nappy, and it was done.

I came out with another revelation on my most recent trip: Trains are utilitarian at night. I like to look at the land, but there is nothing to see once it gets dark. I rented a movie on my IPAD, and bought a bottle of wine to drink while watching the movie (It was Wicked- which is good). I drank it from a cup, but I was worried about spilling it. It just so happens that I use an adult sippy cup when I drink wine at home. Guess what I'm taking with me when I take my trains in Canada this summer? It's a perfect vehicle for drinking wine, especially on a bumpy train. My trip to Canada is the perfect AB experience. I get to wear diapers, I get to use a sippy cup to avoid spilling (PS- that should be the norm for me), and I get to sleep in bed that is small and the wall is close enough that it might as well be a crib.

This is a special, 'Sorry for being later' on Friday, celebrating over 500k reads on this story, and an early happy birthday to @Moon3ye bonus chapter. Hope you all enjoy! Chapter 130: Weekend Getaway BETH WOKE UP and headed off to breakfast with Carly and a couple of her nestmates who would be going to Carly’s grandparents with them that afternoon. “How did the party go?” She asked. “Great!” Willow said. “Yeah, that cake was amazing, Carly,” Amy said. “I’ve only ever seen cakes like that on TV before.” “What was the cake like?” Beth found herself asking. “Here,” Carly said. She’d had the foresight to take a picture of the cake with her phone. “That’s adorable!” Beth said. “The whole night was,” Everly said with a smile. Beth noted that Mia had sat down with them, but she didn’t seem as put together with her hair this morning as she usually did. Her hair was a bit of a mess, and that was a red flag for Bigs. She debated trying to help, but Willow beat her to it, “Mia, do you have a brush with you?” “Yes?” She said timidly. “Hand it to me?” Beth watched Willow brush Mia’s hair into a ponytail and tie it off with a white scrunchie. She was surprised that Lilly had let her leave the nest like that. ‘Maybe she partied too hard after they all went to sleep...?’ “Thanks,” Mia said. “Mia, we got permission to go to my grandmothers today for the weekend with you all. What time is your last class?” Carly asked. “Do I have to go?” Mia asked nervously. “Yes,” Willow said. “When else are we going to get off campus?” “Fine... I’m done after lunch?” “Great, meet us at the nest. Pack clothes and anything you need to study for two days; we’ll bring you all back here Sunday.” Carly told them. “Who will change us?” Mia asked nervously. “I can help, or Carly’s grandmother?” Beth said reassuringly. “I’ll be around too?” Nikki said gently. Mia nodded nervously, “Sorry, it’s been a hard week so far.” Willow hugged her, “That’s why we’re getting out of here for a couple days!” As Beth and Carly made their way to their first class, she got tired of looking down to talk to Carly and picked her up to place her on her hip instead. “What...?” Carly said. Beth just tickled her stomach through the jacket she’d worn to block the cold, “You know you like being held.” Carly’s blush confirmed that even as she leaned in closer to Beth’s body. “Is everything okay with Mia?” she asked Carly. She shook her head, “No, she’s in the worst major any Little could be in, and now she’s dealing with bullies.” “Oh...” Beth said in reply, “Anything we can do?” Carly shrugged, “I’ve done all I can. I suspect Grandma is going to do what she can now?” Beth’s hand was on Carly’s bottom and she could feel there was a bit of a squish to her diaper. “Let’s get that soggy diaper changed before I drop you at class,” she told Carly. “Beth...” she whined. “Hush,” she said and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead. They found the bathroom nearest to Carly’s first class to change her quickly, and then Beth dropped her off in her class. “See you in a bit!” Beth said. Once they were down at her class, Nikki said, “Beth, you realize you’re doing the smothering thing again, right?” Beth sighed, “Yes, and I don’t think I can stop...” “Kids!” Nikki said with a sigh, even as she sat beside Beth to keep her safe, as she learned less about her class in two hours than she would have learned in five minutes with Carly! I FINISHED MY last class of the day, feeling good about how all of my classes were going. I’d started completely clueless on some terms, but in the seven weeks I’d spent in the dimension, I felt like I had come to understand the material at least as well as my fellow classmates! Beth and Nikki came from her math class as I approached her classroom. After a quick diaper change, we started walking towards our dorms when we ran into Charlotte. “Hey, Charlotte,” I said to her. She looked lost in thought and looked down, “Oh, hey Carly, Beth, Nikki... How are you doing?” “Good,” I said, “Friday’s done, and the weekend is here!” “Doing anything special?” She asked me. “Actually... yeah, we’re going to have a bunch of my nest mates and Beth’s friends over to my Grandmas for the weekend. Actually...” I thought for a second, “You’d be more than welcome to join us too if you wanted to?” She looked shocked, “Really?” Beth seemed just as surprised with my suggestion as me, but she said, “Really, we think you’re a great friend?” She paused, “You could get away from campus? We’ll plan to get some study time in, but we’re also planning on spending some time in his grandma’s pool, watching some movies, probably nails, hair, and all that stereotypical slumber party fun?” Beth patted my head, “This one didn’t really get much of a little girlhood!” Charlotte winced and laughed, “No, I guess she didn’t. I’m still sorry about that, Carly,” she told me. “Don’t worry about it,” I told her. “So, you in?” “When are you leaving?” “About thirty minutes?” Beth said. “You know what... yeah, I’m in. That sounds like fun, and I can avoid my agent that way, too!” I was curious about that statement but never had a chance to ask her more about it before we reached the dorm area and split off. In the nest, I found Willow, Mia, Everly, and Amy loading their backpacks with spare diapers. “I don’t hardly know what I’ll wear,” Willow complained. “You have the unicorn onesie?” Amy said with a smirk. “And not much else other than uniforms...” Willow said sadly. “You’ve got that outfit?” I heard her saying. “I have a couple things that might fit?” Everly offered. Since she was the only native Little in our little group, she had some spare clothes. In the end, I watched her help Mia and Willow with a few things. “Anything you have?” Amy asked with a smile to me since we were about the same size. ‘Or had been before I shrank last weekend,’ I thought morosely. ‘Grandma never said if Mom got back to her... But she probably wouldn’t over the EdgeSphere link.’ “Quite a few things at my grandparents? I don’t keep much here?” “Well, we’ll have to raid your closet there!” she said with a smile. “Thanks for bringing us with you,” she added. “I think they stopped with the hypnotic movies on the weekends, but I still don’t trust them,” she whispered. I nodded in agreement, “It has saved me to not be here.” I added, “Sorry...” “Not your fault you were smarter than us!” “Not sure about that,” I laughed. Lilly arrived right then, “Are you girls ready for your big weekend?” She asked. “Yes, Miss Lilly,” the other girls all responded. “Make sure you mind your manners around Doctor Westerfield; she’s one of the most important people at the university.” “Yes, ma’am,” the girls said. “You all have everything? Toothbrush? Diapees? Wipees? Jammies? Clothes?” she went through a list of things, getting nods from the girls. I didn’t have to take anything but my backpack, which was already loaded, so I was the only one without one of the matching pink unicorn duffle bags she’d procured for the girls to use. “How about I walk you out to your ride?” She asked. It wasn’t really a question, and soon, she guided the five of us outside, where I saw a large Luxuria Limo waiting for us. “We’re going in a Luxuria?” Everly asked incredulously. “That thing is huge!” Mia said in awe. “Oh, that’s right. When we went to the mall, we rode in my grandma’s and Nikki’s cars, didn’t we?” I asked them. “Who’s paying for this?” Miss Lilly asked aloud. “My parents,” Beth said, coming around from behind her. “You all beat us, I wasn’t expecting that!” “They were ready to go when I got there,” I told her. I saw Livy and Reila behind her, and Nikki was shadowing Beth. “Just waiting on Charlotte?” Beth asked. I motioned to where she was walking up with a small rolling bag, “Nope, she’s here too.” “Shall we get going?” Nikki asked. “You’re...” Everly said, seeing Charlotte up close. “Charlotte,” she smiled at her, “just a normal college girl like you.” Mia pulled the star-struck girl along, and unfortunately, we soon got the joy of being fitted in ‘appropriate’ car seats. Amy and I were in our infant carriers, complete with toys on the handles to obviously entertain us. Willow, Mia, and Everly were placed in rear-facing toddler seats, Reila got a forward-facing one, and Beth and Livy objected but were placed in five-point booster seats. “I swore my dad fixed that setting,” Beth grumbled beside me. “At least you don’t have toys?” I told her while beating one of the stupid rattles overhead. “So, what’s so great about this crazy car?” Amy asked. “Well, you can get drinks?” Beth said. “Drinks?” Mia asked. “Why yes,” the Luxuria attendant reappeared, “I was going to let you get settled first. What can I get you all?” “I’ll take an iced latte,” Beth said. “Normal preferences?” It asked. “Please,” she told it. Charlotte asked for the same, while the other girls asked for water, cokes, and tea. Finally, the attendees asked, “And you, Miss Slane?” “An iced tea would be fine,” I told her. I couldn’t see much with the odd reversed infant car seat. The Luxuria had reconfigured its typical open seating to benches moving across to accommodate so many child seats. A moment later, though, a holographic hand offered me a baby bottle. “Umm... I don’t need...” I heard from beside me. “Why do I have a baby bottle?” Mia asked. “A sippy cup?” I heard Livy exclaim. “Luxuria, we can all handle normal cups?” Beth told it. “I’m sorry, Ms. Sylvester, but my programming forbids me from accepting that statement from you.” “What about from me?” Nikki asked. “Sorry, the command has to come from the account holder.” “I am the account holder!” Beth said exasperatingly. “No, your mother is.” “Maybe we take a couple of cars back instead,” Beth said. “Sorry, guys.” “We could try to switch the ride to my account?” Charlotte offered. “Not worth it,” Beth said. “I’ve seen things go haywire before on something like that.” “Well, when in Rome,” I heard Mia say. “What did you end up with?” I asked, unable to see her. “What else, a baby bottle?” “Same,” I sighed, staring at the nipple. I’d had to suck on one in the film, but I’d managed to avoid it elsewhere. Seeing nothing else to do, I stuck it in my mouth and sucked on it. “At least the latte is pretty good,” one of the girls said. It was a longer drive to Grandma’s house when she wasn’t driving. I knew she had to be doing something with the programming to speed up her vehicle since she tended to stay on auto still. When we eventually reached the house, the Luxuria attendant gently pulled me from the seat, “Ms. Sylvester, would you like me to change the babies’ diapers?” “That’s okay,” she sighed, “We’ll take care of my friends inside.” “Very well, have a good day, and please travel with us again soon!” On the ground outside, my friends looked astonished at the massive house, and some looked at my aunt’s house. “Is that a playhouse?” Charlotte asked. “Yes,” Grandma answered her, appearing. “That’s my daughter and her kids’ playhouse. I let them pretend to be grownups there.” I raised an eyebrow at Grandma, who gave me a look. Clearly, she must not trust Charlotte completely? “Come on inside, and we’ll get you all settled,” Grandma told us. “These stairs are huge,” Amy told me a moment later when we approached the staircase that led upstairs. “You girls can choose if you want to sleep in sleeping bags in the living room altogether. Or, you could probably share our guest rooms and the other rooms here with the trundles if a couple of you are willing to sleep in my daughter’s crib. We could also break out the playpens if you want it to be a bit more comfy?” She looked at me for the lead, “I think the sleeping bags would be better?” I suggested, looking at everyone else. “Yeah, that’s more of what I think of a sleepover as,” Willow said nervously. “Great!” she said, “I’ll get Fred to help bring them down. In the meantime, I’m guessing a few of you need fresh pants?” I saw several blush, but pretty much every Little nodded. “We have a couple of changing tables upstairs?” Without asking, Beth picked me up, and I watched each of the taller members of our group follow her lead. Nikki, Grandma, Livy, and Charlotte each picked up one of my friends. Charlotte grabbed Willow and Amy with their permission, and the hike up the stairs began. Ten minutes later, with clean diapers, everyone was sitting in ‘my’ room sitting down. It was a big enough room that even with a Big, three Tweeners, and five of us Littles, we had plenty of space on the bed, rocking chair, bean bags, and floor. “Oh my god! This is so cute!!!!” Mia said, looking at a tiny frilly baby dress that had been my mom’s as she looked through my closet. “This looks too small even for our munchkin, though?” I blushed, “It was my mom’s,” I told her. “How tiny was she?” “Thirty-four inches when she went home,” Grandma said as she came to check on us. “Do you need anything? Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes?” Everyone was silent for a moment or said, “No thank you,” to her. “So your mom, like, really just came here?” Charlotte asked, “And then let you come?” I shrugged, “Yeah, she’d come on a trip with her parents when the portal first opened. She fell in love with the technology and Emerson and set up the trip for herself?” “Wait, how does your Grandma come into this?” Everly asked. “Mom had talked to one of the rare, free, shorter people she’d encountered and gotten the straight story. That meant she decided the right foster parents, so to speak, seemed like a better idea than the dorms. Back then, things were even harder to make it through if you were in them,” I added. She nodded, “I’ve heard... So how’d she set that up?” “She spent a fortune on a transdimensional ad and met up with a couple of the people via transdimensional video call to vet them. One of the couples she considered ended up being a horrible set of people – Mom got kidnapped by them later – but the other was Grandma and Grandpa, who were apparently amazing.” “They let her be a grownup?” Reila asked. I shook my head, “Mom was their baby when she wasn’t in her classes. She did everything an adopted Little does at times.” “Even...?” Livy asked. “What?” I asked. “You know...?” She said, pointing to her breasts. “Breastfeeding?” I asked, enjoying the blush that came to her face. “Yes?” I told her “Eew...” I heard a couple of the girls say, even as Everly had a strange look on her face. “It’s pretty much inevitable if you get adopted,” Livy said to us. “Why?” Willow asked. “They can’t help themselves,” I told her. “Even now, Charlotte is probably having issues with so many of us around?” She blushed. “Sorry to call you out,” I apologized to her. “It’s pretty normal, I was already having issues since before we were filming, though,” she told me. “Issues?” Amy asked. “Lactating?” “You mean Miss. Maddy didn’t take stuff to make that happen?” Willow asked. I felt bad that the girls were reminded of that horrible girl. “No, it naturally happens,” Charlotte said. “It’s part of why the Big and Little dynamic began.” “Oh,” Mia said, “That kind of explains that better.” “What better?” Reila asked. Mia blushed, “How quickly all the other girls in my classes just started feeding the Littles at the daycare? I couldn’t imagine that all of them had been pregnant, but I didn’t want to ask?” “Probably smarter not to ask,” Livy told her. “Yeah, it would only seem like you were too interested,” Everly said with a shudder. “I don’t know how you even handle being in that daycare for your class.” Shelby chose to make an appearance right then, having come home from school. She looked intimidated as she looked around the room, “Hi, Shelby,” I told her as I stood up and hugged her. “Everyone, this is my cousin Shelby.” “Hi,” she squeaked, even as she realized Charlotte was there. “You’re...” Charlotte smiled, “One of Carly’s friends.” Shelby looked at me, “Mom was right; you and your mom do get into the craziest situations...” I laughed at that. “Come join us?” I asked her, scooting closer to Beth, who suddenly picked me up and placed me on her lap. I looked up at her to complain, but she just smirked and settled her arms around me. ‘Hard to be grumpy when she’s cuddling you,’ I thought to myself. It was fun hanging out with everyone there, and I couldn’t help but feel good about the weekend for once! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please press the Like button and leave a comment! I'm just finishing starting Chapter 157 now, so I have a fair lead time on you all at this point. 157 finally ends the current Act we're in as well. Glad to be making some progress here. Your comments and Likes always help inspire me to keep making that! Please keep leaving them! I don't know if it's possible or not, but I really am trying to finish this book in the next few months. It's going to be tough as there are 2-3 Acts remaining to finish the story, and my muse keeps taking little side-trips here and there! (Hopefully a positive for you all!) Thanks for reading!

Social acceptance, the death of the stigma. Normilization.

...by my first setting on my back, and reaching inside to direct the stream better down along the crack to the butt area of the diaper. After that, I pull the top of my MegaMax out in front and put an extra dash of powder down the opening. I do the same in the back. This morning, after the coolness of the powder went away, the back padding was still kind of warm. It was interesting to feel cool up front and the warmth in the rear. Just thought it was interesting and shareable. Stay padded, my friends, MixerOp

I'm ok either way.

I'm used to being wet as a default setting, because I tend to try to economize by wearing fewer, better diapers, so I can often get through 24 hours in 2-3 diapers. I work from home a lot, which helps. Good diapers really help mitigate the discomfort of being wet, and they also mitigate the chemical changes that happen over time, which can lead to diaper rash. All of that said, I always reach a point where I'm tired of being wet, and in high-capacity products, you can spend the last few hours of their useful lives feeling like you're sitting in a bag of damp oatmeal, at which point, the feeling of being in a dry diaper is very welcome!

I can certainly empathize, I HATE feeling wet and ask my Daddy to changebme ASAP. A dry diaper is so so much better in my experience.

I second that nomination! You can run as the Great White North party.

I think this is the story you are asking about. Error.txt

You are writing a great story....I can not wait for more . I look foreword to the next chapter ,

Why would I break ground on a new widget factory that won't go into production for another 5 to 7 years when we know all these tariffs will be reversed as soon as the Democrats get back into the White house? Perhaps if congress actually passed legislation to enact the tariffs (the way the constitution says it should be done), I'd see it as a long term change. But as is, 4 or even 8 years is too short a time frame to make that kind of long term commitment. The problem with that, however, is the Republicans don't have the votes in congress to do it. Not for this kind of crazy anyway. I'm wondering who will be picking the peach crop this year now that all the illegal immigrants have ben deported. Not to mention the strawberries. The last time we tried kicking out the immigrants (during Clinton's term IIRC), the farmers couldn't get enough actual citizens willing to do the work. Then, the state Governors raised a stink and got a bunch of exceptions added to bring back the immigrant laborers.

Happy belated birthday 🎂

We tend to get stuff slowly down here in the deep south too. Always takes a couple weeks after "in store now" to get to our stores, and longer to be in-stock if its good!

I used to use vaseline.... but it affected absorbency too much. To replace it, I was originally using hand lotion (wouldn't look "sus" buying that at the store)... but then switched to baby lotion. I usually get the giant "jugs" at the warehouse store (though Amazon or Walmart are both good alternative sources). Extra benefit .... makes you smell "legit".

Does that also mean you're going to give me 30 diaper pats?😏 Thank you so much my little baby wolf! It was an awesome birthday! Filled with cake and love and lots of presents!😊❤️😃🫂

I have a fantasy of having a full, leaky diaper and three or four men taking turns on me while I keep the diaper on, masturbate and use toys for hours and hours until the diaper is full of piss and poop, my cum and their cum.

I'm a wannabe travel vlogger, but my travel is for the fun. I love travelling, and love traveling by myself. I'll be honest, it's partly due to diapers. But it is also because I get to go and do whatever I want to do, and when I get lost, nobody else gets lost. PS- if you're visiting a city and don't get lost at least once, you missed out.

Chapter 21: Complications Elysium – LittleFallenPrincess ------------------------------- I think I fell asleep during the movie, because when I opened my eyes, I was being wheeled back to our nursery in our stroller. Rubbing my eyes, I shook my head to try to clear the cobwebs inside, and looked over to see Ollie twiddling his thumbs in the seat next to me. Ceres pushed us inside the nursery, closed the door, and turned the light on, before walking around the stroller and undoing the restraints. “Oh he’s awake!” she announced. “Did… did I sleep through the movie?” I asked as Ceres bent down and lifted me out of the stroller, holding me on her hip. “Yes hun. Both of you did…” Ceres giggled. “Both?” “You and Ella. You two looked so precious together. It was difficult getting you two apart from each other without waking either of you up!” “We… ahh…. Umm… we were…” “Snuggling? Yes. It was so cute!” Ceres squealed with joy. “Right… let's get you changed, then get you in the crib all snuggled up. “No… nursing?” “You’ve had your milk already, baby. And it's getting late for you both, so let’s get you out of your costume, followed by a quick nappy change, then off to sleep for the pair of you.” I blushed as she quickly stripped me of my costume, laid me down on the changing table and proceeded to untape my nappy, popping my dummy in my mouth when I wasn’t expecting it. --------------------------------------- “Aaaaand all changed!” she announced after finishing Ollie’s change. I was changed out of my costume and had my nappy changed, dressed in a cute blue footed sleeper, and put in my crib before she did the same to Ollie, picking him up out of the stroller and placed him on the changing table, popping his dummy in and quickly changing his very full nappy and dressing him in an identical sleeper. The whole time… he didn’t say a word. He was oddly quiet. I couldn’t help but worry that maybe I had said something or done something to upset him. Or maybe the movie was… umm… scary? Was it sad? Honestly I have no idea, I fell asleep before I could even see what movie it was. As Ceres lifted Ollie up, she was about to walk over to his crib when she stopped and leant her head forward a bit, as if Ollie was whispering something to her. “I mean… sure. If that’s what you want. And provided he’s okay with it. Want me to ask?” I saw Ollie nodding his head. “Noah?” Ceres asked, turning around. Ollie had his face firmly planted in Ceres’ shoulder, as if he was avoiding eye contact with me as I sat up in my crib. “Umm… yeah?” “Ollie would like to ask… if he can sleep with you in your crib tonight?” “I… umm…” I was a bit taken aback by this. Surely they wouldn’t have shown a horror movie. I know it’s Halloween, but they’re also treating us like babies… so surely it would have been something cute and not scary. So why would he want to sleep in my crib tonight? “It’s okay if you’d rather no-” “No! It’s okay! Sure. He can sleep with me… I mean… sleep next to me… I…” Ceres giggled as Ollie squirmed about in her arms and kicked his legs gently. “Come on then, scoot over…” Ceres said to me. Moving quickly to the side of the crib closest to the wall, as it was probably easier for her to lay him closer to the side that she’s at, I waited for my Nanny to place Ollie alongside me. I’d give him some space, so I rolled on my side so my back was to him. I figured he wouldn’t want me staring at him, and the crib isn’t that big… sure, we could lay side by side on our backs comfortably, but it was a little bit of a squeeze. I grabbed my side of my blanket and cuddled up into a little ball on my side as I felt a weight being placed on the bed beside me. “Right, you two be good. I’ve got some work to do. So get some sleep and I’ll see you in the morning… Night night, sweethearts…” “Nini Nanny…” Ollie and I replied, our words muffled by our dummies, which still made us blush whenever we spoke out loud. As soon as the door closed and the light went dim so the room was only lightly illuminated, I lay there… awkwardly… not knowing what to say. I wasn’t used to having another person in my crib. I was used to watching him fall asleep on the other side of the nursery, not him being here with me, sharing the same blanket… Should I turn around? Should I say something? Should I ask why he wanted to sleep in here instead of his own crib? All these questions swimming around my head… and here I was just laying here, anxiously wondering which one should be asked first… if any. But before I could pick one, before I could decide anything… I felt something shuffling behind me. One foreign arm wrapped itself over me, whilst another one went under me, burrowing under my body. Wrapping themselves around me. As a warm, soft body pressed up against me from behind. And he began nuzzling my neck, getting himself comfortable. I wanted to ask why he was doing this. What he wanted. And why now of all times. But as I heard the faint snoring in my ear, I knew it was futile. I’d let him sleep. I wasn’t going to wake him up or disturb him. I… I kinda liked this anyway… So as my friend snuggled me from behind, spooning me, I let myself finally drift off back to sleep, wondering what all of this meant. -----------------------------Weeks Later-------------------------------- It has been a couple of weeks since Halloween now. Two weeks since I had cuddle sessions with both Ella AND Ollie. And neither one of them had brought it up or mentioned anything since. And I… being the useless, anxious piece of shit I am… couldn’t bring myself to bring it up to either of them. And what’s worse… is that that wasn’t a one off. Ollie now spends every other night in my crib, snuggling up with me. I want to ask, but I feel so fucking awkward asking him. I mean what do I even say? ‘Oh hey, why do you like to be the big spoon? Why do you like cuddling up with me? Do… Do you ‘like’ me?’ No… I can’t ask that! I tried skirting around the issue, dropping little hints to get him to open up about it, but he just acts as if it's no big deal. I mean sure, it’s not really. I really like cuddling him. Or at least him cuddling me, as it’s always me being the little spoon. Though one time I rolled over in my sleep and woke up with my head resting on his chest. Which felt so good… And Ella is no different! She’s been really affectionate with me, but she won’t talk about it. I feel like she’s flirting with me, but I’m useless at telling signs or doing anything about them, so I wait for others to make it extremely obvious. Maybe she’s as bad as me… which means we’ll never tell each other that we like each other and we’ll be stuck in this awkward friend zone forever, unable to admit our feelings. But maybe after today… that’ll be different. Because I’ve been preparing for this day for the past month. And Vesta says I’m ready for it. Her birthday. “What do you want to wear today for her birthday party?” “Can I wear my favourite dungarees?” I replied to Ceres, as she rummaged around the wardrobe that was embedded in the wall, only visible when she swiped her wrist across the scanner. “I think we can manage that. And you Ollie?” “T-shirt and jeans?” he joked, laughing awkwardly. “Want me to throw some big boy undies in too? Maybe some hair gel and some aftershave?” Ceres replied, playing along with him. “As if we even need aftershave here. You did something to our faces that prevented any hair growth!” he whined. That… was one thing I was massively appreciative of. Not having to worry about my facial hair or my body hair… It was like Christmas came early! Sure, the downside is that we don’t get any hair between our legs either… but hey, it’s not like I like looking down there anyway, so why do I care if I’m bare down there? I guess it’s more hygienic too for all these nappy changes. “Hmm… all out of undies it seems… how about a cute lion nappy and a pair of shorts with my favourite t-shirt for you?” Ollie sighed at this request. It wasn’t really a request, we all knew that. Ceres is nice enough to let us pick out our own clothes most of the time, but we know not to fight back if she really wants to dress us in something she likes. And the t-shirt in question… she really loved to see Ollie wearing it. The one that said ‘I’m perfect the way I am. The only thing that needs changing is my nappy’ on the front of it, along with a small picture of a cartoon nappy. You can see why she liked it by the blush on Ollie’s face right now. Grabbing the clothes needed for today, Ceres walked back over to the changing table, where I was sat, still restrained by the wrist supports so I didn’t fall off, but free enough that I could at least sit up. And as she walked up to me, laying the clothes down on the crib railing, she turned and did something I wasn’t expecting. She kissed me. Sure, it was a kiss on the cheek, but… she had never done that to me before. Forehead kisses are one thing… but cheek kisses? That made me instantly blush, my cheeks turning as red as Ollie’s were right now. This was the first birthday we’ve had since we were all taken, so none of us knew what to expect. If they went all out for Halloween, and I assume they’ll go all out for Christmas… I’m going to also assume that they do the same for people’s birthdays too… because think about it… they want to regress us, they want to turn back the clock and make us feel like babies again. What better way than a baby’s birthday party? I could already tell as we were wheeled towards the playroom that there would be decorations up, balloons everywhere… and they’d have a cake with like one candle on it. It’s extremely obvious. It’ll reinforce it in our heads that we’re only babies now, making us one or two at most, with everyone singing happy birthday. I just hope that Ella enjoys today… “Did you not get her anything?” Ollie asked as we went past the usual security guard. “I… I did…” I replied, nervously. He didn’t know I had been up an hour earlier for the past month or whatever just for Ella’s sake. I looked over to the other side of the stroller to see Ollie holding a little present in his lap. Ceres must have helped him pick it out. Or maybe he told her what he wanted to get Ella, then she and the higher ups procured it? Either way, I felt a little awkward, as my present wasn’t exactly something I could wrap up. Was I being cheap? Not that we have any money in here… it’s all covered by Elysium… but like… was I being lazy in not getting her a gift as well as this surprise? Too late now I suppose. At least I had had one last quick lesson with Vesta this morning. The last one I’ll ever have to get up early for hopefully… as she said that once Ella knows about my plan, she’ll arrange our lessons to include her at some point in the afternoon. “Here… I got you dis…” Rowan said, handing Ella a present. We had already played some party games at this point, the classics like pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, musical chairs… and then they brought in a huge cake… with, I guessed it, one candle. After Ella blew that out, we sat down in a big circle and she began receiving presents from one person at a time, making her way around the circle. I was last, seeing as I was sitting directly next to her and she had gone clockwise, the opposite direction from me. Her smile grew as she quickly tore into the wrapping paper. No doubt Rowan’s Nanny had wrapped it for him, as it looked extremely well wrapped… something I can’t see Rowan doing. “Fank you!” she said, hugging it to her chest, before showing it off to everyone as we all sat in a circle. It was a new colouring book, one that was unicorn themed. Ella looked so cute with her little pink baby dress and her little party hat on. We all wore those stupid little paper cone party hats, but I think only Ella pulled hers off. So far everyone had gotten her some various toys or stuffies or colouring books. I think Jess and Sophia got her some new crayons, Ollie got her a little stuffed bear. Even Jack and his lackeys were sitting with us today, by order of our captors. He was on his best behaviour, apparently, as he just sat there rolling his eyes every time Ella opened a present. I could see it on his face… he wanted to make snide comments every time she spoke aloud… and I wanted so desperately to dash over and shove his snide comments up his… Anyway… He held his tongue… so I held back my anger. At least he was nice enough to get her a new hair bow, though I assume that was his Nanny’s idea. I very much doubt Jack had any input or care about Ella’s birthday present. Now… it was time for my present… Ella turned to look at me, the last one left. God… I hope she appreciates this… I want to make her birthday special… “Noah, what did you get Ella for her first birthday?” Vesta asked, playing dumb, knowing full well what I had in store. I took a deep breath, worrying even more that I had fucked up as Ella started looking around for a wrapped present from me, but looked somewhat disappointed by the absence of any sort of gift. Turning to face her… my heart racing… I had to make this special. It had to be perfect. Raising my hands in front of me… ‘Ella…’ I signed. Her eyes, widened in shock, began tearing up. ‘Happy Birthday… I hope… you… have… a really… great… day…’ She quickly signed something back to me, but I only got a bit of it, it was so frantic and emotional, and with my limited knowledge, I only got ‘you’ and ‘me’ from it. ‘Sorry… I am… still learning…’ I signed back perfectly, as I knew it would be a phrase I’d probably be using a lot early on, so it was one of the first I learned. Ella, teary eyed, looked up at her Nanny, who signed something. Thankfully, she spoke along as she signed so everyone else could hear, mostly me. “Noah asked me for lessons. He wanted to learn this… for you…” Vesta said, and signed. The whole room gasped. Well, everyone except the three morons. Jess and Sophia even squealed, quickly followed by the rest of the girls. Even the Nannies joined in with the excitement. “So that’s why Vesta’s been busy…” Venus commented, giggling a little. Ella signed something back. I think she said ‘for me?’ though I worry I may be wrong. “Yes. He thought it would be nice for you to have someone to talk to beside me.” Ella turned back to me, the tears in her eyes had grown exponentially bigger in the past few seconds, as she quickly signed something I couldn’t make out… and pounced on me, kissing my cheek and hugging me tightly. I returned the hug, wrapping my arms around her, squeezing tightly. “So… she likes it?” I joked. “You’ll be lucky if she ever lets you go now… I’ve never seen her like this with anyone before,” Vesta replied, smiling at me as I lay on the floor, covered by this cute, affectionate girl. In the corner of my eye though… I saw someone crawling away as quickly as possible. Someone wearing a familiar, very embarrassing t-shirt. ====================================================== This was a chapter that made a few people cry. And I loved writing every minute of it :3 I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Don't forget I'm on Subscribestar! Subscribers get 2 weeks early access to chapters, and exclusive short stories (Nessa's Tale is currently the only available one). The next four chapters of my new story posted on my Subscribestar! ======================================================== I hope everyone enjoys this chapter! Please leave likes and comments and all that fun stuff, I love reading them! If you want to read the next 4 chapters, thanks to two weeks early access to my main story and also soon-to-be exclusive access to short stories (or even have a chance at commissioning one when I add the tier for them!), why don't you check out my SubscribeStar! The basic tier gets early access and exclusive access to short stories (when they're written), higher tiers will be limited but get a short story each month (1-2 per month in total, also not yet running this tier yet, will announce when I'm starting!). Thank you to all my subscribers for their support over the past few years! Seriously, your support means the world to me. New chapters of my latest story every Wednesday/Sunday! Also just a quick note: I don't mind people saving this story for personal reading. But I'd appreciate it if people didn't post it elsewhere, even if you're just suggesting it to other people. If you want to show others, please send them a link to the first page of this post! Thanks!

Maddy and Hannah need to meet up my two characters, Tara and Caitlyn. I think they would have a lot in common. I liked the description of going back to underwear after a week in diapers. I know this sounds weird, but I can't remember what it feels like to just wear underwear

Chapter 9 “Do what?” Lilly shouts over the music.. “Do.. You.. Need.. To.. Use.. The.. Bathroom!?” April shouts back slowly enunciating her words. Lilly blushes at the suggestion.. (Why would she ask me that? Does she know? Am I doing a pee-pee dance? Shit!) “Uh, why? Do you?” April nods her head and Lilly feels relieved (and dumb) for worrying. “I’ll go with you.” She replies thinking it’s a good time to get rid of her panties, though after 2 hours out on the town they aren’t that wet anymore, or is it because Lilly is half drunk? (How many drinks have I had? 3 at the dinner… 2 at the bar… 3 here? No it was 4.. and then two tequila shots with the girls… shit).. Lilly and April stumble their way to the bathroom and now that Lilly has had time to think about the restroom, she realizes she ready to burst.. “God, look at that line!” April says as they see the line at the club’s ladies room.. “We can make it!” Lilly giggles. But on the inside the drunk girl is getting worried.. Before the line moved 10 feet she’s doing a for real “pee-pee” dance while April laughs at her. “You can hold it! You’re a big girl!” April tells her laughing. (I’m a big girl…) Lilly repeats to herself, the little thought of April chastising her for peeing her panties gets her going again… “I hope so!” She says back hoping April will say some more. “See look? The line is moving again. I swear I’m the one that’s gonna piss themselves if we don’t get up there soon.” “Well I won’t tell.” Lilly says pretty casually. “What?” April looks at her with a raised eyebrow. “Nothing!” Lilly gets flush with embarrassment. “I.. I was kidding.. you know?” She stutters out. “Ok? Well I’m not a baby that can’t hold her pee Lilly. That’s weird.” Lilly groans at the comment, little does April know that the “grown woman” beside her doing a potty dance is wearing the panties she wet just a few hours ago.. “I didn’t say you were. I’m sorry, bad joke?” April smiles and then grabs Lilly pulling her up on her toes and whispers in her ear “Girl for real, they better get moving or you’re going to be right!” Lilly feels a spasm and maybe a little pee escape as her bladder is pulled into the hips of the taller teacher. Her perfume smells good, and even though Lilly doesn’t consider herself a lesbian, it feels good to have someone breathing on your neck and the feeling of her breasts pushed against another pair… Finally April’s turn and as she ducks into the bathroom stall Lilly pulls out her phone and sees several messages and comments… DomDaddy and AgeGapMommy have started a group chat with her and they are discussing future “rules” and posts they expect Lilly to provide.. “Hi! I got asked out to hangout with some other teachers after the dinner.” “I figured you were a teacher:” DD replies “What?” Lilly responds (OMG I put I was a teacher!) Lilly got too comfortable tonight along with the alcohol.. “oh.. yeah I’m a school teacher. Why did you guess that?” “As I told you when we first started messaging, your posting schedule suggested that you were off of work before 5 and you clearly don’t work on weekends which is why you post then.” “And then there is this that pretty much cleared up any doubts.” AGM says attaching the picture of the empty pitcher. You can see the corner of the main screen, it reads “…ual Teacher’s Union Banquet.” Lilly gasps at her carelessness to not check the background of her pics… she zooms in and makes sure that you can’t see the District’s name or even the union information in the facets of the empty pitcher. She’s relieved to see that you can’t. “You got me there. Silly girl!” She replies “So you wet your panties at a teacher’s event? That’s cute.” AGM says. “Now now.. she should’ve gone when I told her.” “But I couldn’t, they had me come up to the stage and cut the cake.” Lilly explains. Her little motor revving up again at being chastised… “A big girl could’ve held it.” “Yes ma’am. You are right, I wasn’t being a very big girl when I let some out.” “I bet it makes you even wetter to know that while you put on such a front, you aren’t a grown woman at all but instead you should be in kindergarten wearing training panties.” Lilly moans and leans against the door.. “Yes mommy… I’m just a fake..: I’m too little to control myself…” her hand slides up her thigh.. she reaches the trim of her childish panties and just as she starts moving towards her clit the door opens and a tall woman exits eyeing the small woman in a cocktail dress exposing her pink panties… “It’s all yours.” Lilly yanks her hand away and drops her dress.. “ok.” She says meekly “Cute panties.” The woman says walking away. Lilly is feeling even more humiliated and being caught showing her panties.. (What if she knows I was gonna touch myself??) the thought has her biting her lip… she ducks into the open stall and yanks down her panties. She starts to ask permission but then decides that if they know, they won’t let her run her button and she NEEDS to cum… her pee comes out in a rush and before she even finishes she is already rubbing her clit, biting her lip to keep from making noise… “Almost there… almost there….” She says running her fingers up and down her slick sex and just as she starts to cum Bang Bang Bang… “Lilly are you in there?” April says Too late… Lilly is cumming and she practically moans out a “Jus… Just a minute…” her eyes rolling back in her head. “Hey! I need to piss, can you hurry it up?” Another woman’s voice says.. Lilly is shaken out of her revelry by this other voice.. “I’m sorry! I’m coming!” She replies quickly wiping herself and pulling up her panties.. and opens the door. “Yeah. We could tell. Please tell me you didn’t get any juices on the toilet seat…” the woman says passing her to go in the stall. “In fact, I’ll wait on the next stall.” She turns and waves in the next woman waiting. Lilly steps past the women in the bathroom, washes her hands and then looking at the floor, walks back out to the club, the post orgasm feeling squashed by the embarrassment of someone catching her in the act.. “Did you really… you know?” April asks her as they get back to the group of teachers at their table: “No!” The embarrassed teacher blurts out. “She’s crazy.” “That’s what u thought. She was a little weird. Banging on the door like that. I told her someone was in there.” April responds. “I think I’m ready to go home.” Lilly says picking up her things… “Need a ride?” “No, I can just Uber. My car is back at the banquet parking deck and I’m too drunk to drive.” “Ok, well we should all go out again soon! You’re a good time Lilly!” Another teacher says. “I will!” Lilly says setting up her Uber and cashing out the bar. On her ride home she sees a message from DD “Did you have fun out with the girls?” “I did! Well up till the end, but I made some new friends so that’s good.” “What happened at the end?” AGM “Nothing.. I just felt kinda dumb.” “Did you have an accident?” “No ma’am. I kinda got caught touching myself.” “I told you DD. She’s a naughty little girl. Can’t stop touching herself. Even out in public!” “I’m sure it wasn’t out in public. Tell us what you did and don’t leave out any details baby.” DD. Lilly enters the sedan and blushes as she puts in writing that she was caught “red handed” by the woman in line and then masturbated in the bathroom and got called out by another woman. She squirms in the seat explaining how the woman didn’t want to use the same toilet seat… by the time she sends the message her chest is red. Her cheeks are flush, and her left hand is slowly rubbing her clit through her panties…

Chapter 7 The small teacher walks up to the stage and stands next to Mrs Primm. She’s been teaching for over 40 years and announced she will be hanging it up at the end of this school year. “Lilly Edison is a first year teacher at George Washington working in our ESL department there.” The Master of Ceremonies says. “Lilly, how old are you?” “I’m 22.” Lilly replies and then qualifies her young age with “I graduated a year early.” “Goodness, that means that Mrs Primm could’ve taught your grandparents if they married young!” He says with a laugh. Mrs Primm shrugs her shoulders. “I’ve been blessed to be able to teach so many young minds over the years. I’m going to miss getting to be a part of their lives, and I’ll miss the friendships I’ve made with all of you too.” “Now our youngest and most senior educator will cut the cake.” The MC says on the microphone. A photographer approaches to get a closeup of the “1st Slice” of the cake, Lilly and Mrs Primm both holding a large knife and making the ceremonial slice. They hand the cake off and the start to make the second slice. “I hope you and I don’t have to hand out every slice, this is a big crowd.” Lilly says quietly to the elder teacher. “What was that?” The MC asks “She’s worried she has to pass cake to everyone.” The cameraman replies “We won’t make you do that Mrs Edison.” He says waving the serving staff to take over. “You can tell she isn’t a math teacher. That small cake would never feed this large of a crowd.” Mrs Primm says nudging the small teacher’s shoulder. But unknown to the retiring teacher, young Lilly had crossed her legs due to the pressure in her bladder so what should have been a small nudge sends the teacher tripping over her heel and falling on her butt with an audible “Oh!” from the small woman. “Oh my! I’m so sorry dear, let me help you up.” She says taking Lilly’s hand and pulling her to her feet. “It.. it’s ok. Um, I’m fine.” The blushing teacher meekly replies. “Are we good?” She asks the MC. Who nods and waves his arm to the side of the stage. Lilly walks carefully to the edge of the stage, grabs her purse and then makes a beeline to the nearest restroom. The “Oh!” She made when she fell wasn’t from the pain in her butt from hitting the floor, it was from the surge of pee that escaped when she lost her control from the fall. She wants to see what the damage is to her underwear considering she feels wetness running down her inner thigh all the way to her thigh high. Stepping in a stall and yanking up her dress she sees that her panties are soaked in urine. “Shit” she says. Bladder still begging for release she slides the wet garment to her ankles and then sits on the toilet. Just as the sound of pee hitting the water begins she grabs her phone and starts a “live stream” of her peeing. “I made it!” She says in the background. Her pee finally ends and she sees a comment from DD. “No accidents?” “No sir! See? I used the potty!” “Show me your panties then.” Lilly lets out a “Hmph” “I… um.. I had a little come out, but it wasn’t my fault!” She whines on the video “A lady made me fall down and a little came out.” “Let’s see it.” “Oh-wa..” the embarrassed girl whines as she pans the camera down to her wet panties between her red heels. “Uh oh. That’s not how a big girl’s panties look is it?” “Na.. no daddy.” “Well if you can’t keep your panties dry, we might have to take measures to protect your pretty dress.” “Yes sir.” Lilly says followed by a sultry moan on her video. But while she’s getting in trouble for her wetness, her hand is moving towards her labia, which is getting puffy from arousal… the idea of being called out during her live feed getting her worked up.. “No ma’am. You don’t get to play with that kitty. You need to cleanup your thighs and your little parts first. We don’t need you getting a rash.” Lilly sees the comment and realizes it’s from AgeGapMommy!

She will learn her lesson, we all do. ;-) Chapter 6 Across town at the coliseum: “First timer?” A woman asks Lilly as she’s looking for her table. “Yeah, I’m a first year teacher.” “Lol I can tell. The seats aren’t assigned, only the tables. Just pick a seat and go grab a drink.” Twenty minutes later (and two cocktails) Lilly is starting to feel that familiar pressure in her bladder, and her little clit is starting to feel a little pressure of its own… Feeling brave, she reaches under her table and slides up her dress. Slipping her phone down she takes a picture of her pantied crotch to survey the state of her arousal. “Yup.” She whispers seeing that her kitty has made the usual spot on her panties. The speaker has been talking about the success of the last school year and Lilly decides to go ahead and post a “current situation” update. She takes a second pic of the empty pitcher of water on her table and then adds the post while checking on comments and messages. The post from the bathroom at her work is definitely proving popular, lots of comments about how sexy her damp panties are and the usual “I wish you’d show us more of yourself” or “Don’t be shy, we need to see your pretty face.” She checks over her messages and DD is giving her more ideas about tonight and encouragement to follow through with her plan. “I know! But for real, I am starting to really feel the pressure!” She tells him. “Just hold it a little longer. Be a good girl!” “I will!” “Promise Daddy you’ll be a big girl and hold it until I tell you it’s ok to potty.” Lilly blushes a little at the comment.. “I promise I’ll hold it till you say I can go Daddy.” “That’s my good girl.” The next speaker is just taking the podium when a sudden spasm hits Lilly’s bladder. “Ooph” she says instinctively putting a hand on her lap. She picks up her phone: “Daddy? I gotta go.” She checks her messages and there is nothing from DD. “Daddy?” She messages him again 5 minutes and two more spasms later… “Post an updated pic of your panties to your page and then we will discuss going potty.” Lilly groans knowing that spreading her legs isn’t going to make holding it any easier.. She takes the picture and notes that her labia is swollen and not because she’s desperate to pee. She quickly posts the updated picture. “Good girl.” DD says on the public picture. “Thanks Daddy, can I go now?” Lilly responds under his comment. “Not yet. Be my big girl and hold your pee pee.” Lilly looks around the table and then starts looking for the nearest bathroom sign. “Order a drink and when you finish it, update us with a picture of the empty glass.” “Ok Daddy.” Lilly orders another gin and tonic and practically “shoots” it to get it over with so she can post the empty glass. “There! Now can I go potty? I’m about to pee my panties!” She says. “Ok baby. But you have to post a video of you using the potty so we know that you didn’t have an accident.” “Ok!” “Promise?” “Yes sir! Thank you!” Lilly stands to head to the bathroom when a spasm makes her knees buckle.. She steadies herself on the table and then starts to walk towards the exit. “There she is! Mrs Edison, as the youngest teacher we need you and Mrs Primm our most tenured educator to approach the stage!” “What?” Lilly says panicked “ it’s time to cut the cake, dear, they always have the youngest teacher and the oldest teacher come up to show the partnership in education over the generations. So you two will cut the cake and then help serve it.” a woman at the table informs her. “But I need to use the restroom. I’m sorry.” “Nonsense silly, I’m sure you can wait a few more minutes lol.” Lily looks around the room and sees all eyes on her. She squeezes her legs together and makes her way to the stage.

Thanks for the feedback! 🥰 ~ K Chapter 4 “I downloaded it.” “You did? So does that mean you want Daddy to send you something to protect that bed?” “Hmmm. Maybe. I’m not sure how much I trust this address thingy.” “Well here. You can send yourself something privately and if you get it and it doesn’t show who sent it; that’s half the battle.” “Maybe. I don’t know; I’ll think about it.” “Just think of all the stuff I could send you. You could even get your fans to start sending you things to wear in your shoots, you win, they win.” Lilly lays back on her bed and looks at her new babydoll nightie. It’s pink with ABDL themes printed on it. She ordered a new onesie that’s blue with sleepy teddy bears on it but it hasn’t come yet. She slides her hand down to her matching pink full cut panties with a “scrunch butt” and sees that her usual arousal has left a damp spot just above the gusset. She gives her kitty a couple seconds of attention and then snaps back to her conversation. “True. I’ll try it out.” “So did you ever decide about “playing” on your outing?” “I don’t know.. I mean, I’ve been thinking about. It would be pretty sexy and fun.. sitting at a dinner and then an awards event holding it till the last second? Whew.. what if someone notices me squirming? What if I pee? lol. I don’t know. Could be fun.” “Well the event is tomorrow right? Better make up your mind.” “If I decide to, you’ll be the first to know.” “Oh yeah?” “Yeah! If I send you a pic of my panties then you will know I’m going for it!” “Can’t wait to see your decision. Will you wear your cutsey panties or a thong?” “You’ll just have to wait and see Daddy!” “Tease.. lol.” “Ok, gotta get some sleep!” “Good night baby.” “Nite nite!” Lilly jumps up with her alarm and dashes for the toilet, another night of holding her pee made it easier for her to cum twice since going to bed.. she gets showered and looks at her dress hanging on her closet door. She looks over at herself in the mirror. At 5’1” she is what you’d probably think of as “cute” in her clothes, but underneath those clothes she looks like a bombshell that’s been miniaturized. Only 5’1” height and weighing 110lbs, gives her a 30C bust and a pert ass (if she says so herself). Her legs are short but look long due to her build. Looking back at her dress Lilly thinks about her school system’s annual awards night. It’s a semi formal event so she’ll be in a dress, she could totally pull this off if she plays her cards right. It’s a Thursday night so it’s not on a weekend…. But… she doesn’t have work on Friday so technically it’s the weekend so she isn’t breaking her rule. “Fuck it.” She says picking up her Stanley and taking a big gulp of water before putting on her “teacher clothes”. While most of the staff at GDub wear more casual clothes, Lilly usually wears dresses or suiting, something she can wear heels with; and it’s always heels. Really anything that gives her a little more height and professional look around the students, and even some of the staff. Her lead teacher is 5’9” and Lilly literally has to strain her neck to talk to her. At meetings, her legs don’t touch the ground when she’s seated and she looks like a kid sitting at the “grown up” table. She probably should’ve taken the advice of her parents and focused on elementary school education instead of pursuing a position teaching high school ESL. At least teaching “Senior English” gives her the benefit of no obnoxious freshman students making comments about her body. She takes steps in the classroom to help her appear taller like putting her desk on a slight pedestal and using a shorter chair so her feet touch the floor. She makes sure to have her white board ready so she isn’t straining to reach the upper portion during instructional periods too. Just little things to make sure her height isn’t too obvious. After lunch she decides to let DD in on her little secret about tonight’s event. She sends him a pic of an empty water bottle sitting on her desk. After going over today’s assignment with her 3rd period class she checks her phone and sees that he’s responded. “It’s a go! Lol” “Yes it is!” She replies. “You should post this random pic to your account and leave everyone guessing.” “Well you know my rule about weekdays.” “Yeah. But it isn’t like it’s some sexy pic or anything. Just an empty water bottle. What could it hurt?” “You sure like pressuring me!” She says giggling out loud. “Not as much as the pressure in your little bladder young lady. Lol.” “Lol” The bell rings and Lilly starts to stand only realizing that DD is more correct than he might know. Her bladder *really* is begging for release, something that she didn’t notice building during the last class. “Oof!” She half moans as the familiar tingle of a different sort causes her cheeks to flush.. over a month of either cumming because she needs to pee or needing to pee because she’s cumming is starting to be a Pavlovain response for her toilet habits and sexual needs… One seems to always follow the other and this bond is getting stronger. She looks at the clock and decides to make a quick run to the restroom in the teacher’s lounge before her next class starts. Quickly moving down the hall she reaches the room to find two male coaches working with football players that are close to losing their eligibility due to grades. The four men smile at her and wave and she feels embarrassed walking into the bathroom for some reason. She doesn’t know why, same reason she doesn’t like eating in front of a guy on a first date she muses. Obviously they know women use the bathroom after all. A spasm knocks her back to the mission at hand and she reaches for the doorhandle… it’s locked! “Occupied” is the response from the other side of the door.. “Oh I’m sorry.” Lilly responds trying not to do a “pee-pee dance” in front of her audience… “Mrs Edison?” One of the students says “Yes Ray?” “It’s probably going to be a minute.” Nodding towards the door. “You think?” “Yes, I’m in her 3rd period class and she mentioned lunch not settling well.” “Ah. Ok thanks. I’ll just use the student restroom.” Lilly says heading for the door. “Don’t get caught vaping missy.” Coach Wilson says laughing. “Lord, if I have to hear about students vaping in the bathrooms one more time I’ll burst!” Lilly laughs at his joke and then heads down the hallway towards the girl’s bathroom. Her “bursting” comment was becoming all too real by the time she reaches the safety of the bathroom. By the time she locks the stall door and lifts up her skirt her bladder is ready to explode… she yanks down her cotton panties and her pee angrily hisses as it hits the water beneath her.. She looks down at her panties and sees that the gusset is quite damp, and not from pee. She likes these panties, they are a fairly new set that has different princess themes. Today’s pair are Snow White, they are baby blue with a sheer back panel. She decides that the panties laying between her ankles is kinda sexy so she takes a pic to post later on. That reminds her of DD saying she should post her water bottle pic so she makes a quick post and only comments #ThirstyGirl. The bell rings and she quickly pulls up her panties and rushes out to wash her hands. Standing in front of the mirror she looks left and right and realizes she’s the only person in the bathroom.. she looks at herself in the mirror and wives herself a wink.. Feeling frisky she sides her skirt up to her waist and pulls up her phone taking a selfie of her visibly damp panties in the mirror.

Chapter 2 “Shit!” Lilly hops out of her bed and sprints for her bathroom. She looks at her phone “Shit!” She notices the time again and turns on the water in the shower and runs to pee. When she finishes and starts to wipe she feels the slick tell tale sign of last night’s escapade and blushes. “That was pretty fun.” She giggles and then flushes and gets in her shower. All clean and she towels off getting her morning routine moving, but rushing since she overslept. Moving to her bedroom she yanks open her panty drawer and grabs a thong since she’s wearing jeans today. She isn’t one for dressing down at school but she’s in no position to take her time today. “Make up in the car I guess.” She says to the bathroom and she heads to her garage. Pulling up at the teacher’s lot at George Washington High School she pulls in, grabs her coffee and rushes to her classroom. 2nd period and she takes a look at her phone to see if she’s received more messages from last night’s fun.. “Nothing… Whatever, screw her. Go “play” with some other girl.” She mutters putting her phone away. “Mrs Edison? Did you say something?” A front row student says. “What? Oh no. I was just talking to myself.” Lilly replies before standing up and getting started with today’s lesson. It’s fourth period and she’s aggravated that she’s still heard nothing from AGMommy and even more frustrated that she’s even checking her phone again for messages. On her drive home she swings by the grocery store and grabs a couple of items to make dinner, as she gets in her car she gets a naughty idea. “Just a little tease.” She says as she unbuttons her blouse and leans forward in her car taking a pic of her cleavage in the evening sunlight. It’s two weeks into the school year so the sun is still hours from going down. “I might be a “little”, but up top I’ve still got a lot! “ she says as a caption to her pic. “Now let’s see if she notices me.” Lilly thinks as she heads back to her home. At home Lilly checks her account and see a lot of comments about her spanking pics and even a few from her cleavage shot. She sees one message and despite her effort to not care about her new found playmate she frowns when she sees it isn’t her.. “Hello little lady, I noticed you needed us to know you had “big girl”’boobs.” DomDaddyforKittens Lilly shrugs her shoulders.. “I didn’t “need” anything, I just felt playful and posted that.” She says with defiance. “I think you are mistaken. You have made it a point to show how “little” you are but just a couple of hours without any attention from your new Mommy, and you are acting out.” Lilly rolls her eyes. “Please.. I don’t do ANYTHING just to get attention from any of the people that follow me. I do whatever I want.” “Spoken like a real life brat.” “I’m not a brat! Look, unless you have something nice to say, just move on dude.” “I have plenty of nice things to say. I just wish you’d be more honest with me and really, honest with yourself. You apparently had a good role play session with AGM seeing the pictures you posted Sunday. I’d venture a guess that you posted that cleavage shot today to get her attention.” “Yawn dude.” … “Did it work?” Lilly ignores his message and starts her laundry. An hour later she’s thinking about what he said.. “Did it work? Fuck no it didn’t. I guess she’s still playing with her other girls and forgot about me.” She thinks as she folds her panties. She holding up a pair of her Little4Big princess panties and then decides to get a head start on her Saturday posts. Bending at the waist wearing nothing but the cotton panties she positions herself perfectly so that you can see her breasts in the background but they are blurred, the focus on her pantied ass. “Click” She checks out the picture and then smiles thinking about her role play with AGMommy.. she sets her phone back in place and this time starts a video. She starts spanking playfully at her ass and then gradually increases the rhythm watching her ass bounce up and down with her hand. She giggles as the upturned cheeks start turning pink and then a deep angry red… A little moan escapes her as she uses her other hand to reach down between her legs and rubs her excited clit through her panties… “Almost there…” she gasps… “Oh…. oh…. OH!!!…. ugh!” She squeals as an orgasm rocks her making her knees weak. She slowly slides down to her knees and then reaches for the phone to stop the video.. The rest of the week drags by for Lilly as she still hasn’t heard a peep from AGMommy. The only thing getting her by is the banter she’s having with DomDaddy. They’ve talked about her fantasies and what “draws” her to ddlg. He gave her a lot of ideas for videos and little “games” she can play like drinking lots of water and then holding out to the last second before “going potty” and seeing how long she can last. Lilly hasn’t noticed it yet, but she’s starting to check her phone and message back and forth even at school. She’s snuck off to the bathroom twice to take “panty pics” for her upcoming weekend posts. “Finally.” She says hopping in her Infinity on Friday afternoon. She starts driving home and with a devious grin slides her skirt up to expose her pink bunny panties and takes a pic. She stops at a red light and notices that the pink fabric is a little darker right at her clit. “Kinda hot” she thinks to herself and decides the rest of the drive she should pet that kitty to pass the time… An orgasm later and the flush cheeked girl arrives at her home. She rushes inside and drops her purse on the counter sprinting to the bathroom as she was in such a rush to get home to post her first content of the weekend that she didn’t use the restroom (well at least not to pee) before leaving the school. She starts to sit to pee when she thinks about the “game” DomDaddy was talking about.. “hmm.. I’ll hold it till I get this first post up.” She starts getting the video of her self spanking ready and the pressure really builds, she bends her knees a little to ease the pressure.. “oh no! I got in trouble and got a spanking! Sure be a shame if I got so hot I rubbed my kitty till I came!” She captions the post. Another spasm hits from her full bladder and she can tell she’s almost beyond the breaking point.. “Gotta get this posted!” She thinks as she starts watching the video to make sure she doesn’t show anything she doesn’t want out in public… Another spasm and she gasps quickly publishing the post, drops her phone on the sink and yanks down her panties to use the toilet “like a big girl” she muses… All cleaned up and hands washed she picks up her phone to find that she’s already getting comments to her latest post. “Sweet!” She says walking out to her bedroom to slip into something a little more “little”. She checks her hiding spot and decides on a pair of pink bunny panties along with her teddy bear pjs. Reading all of the comments she decides to give a little tease to look for a new post soon. She sees a message from DomDaddy: “So did you?” “?” “Rub that kitty till you came?” “Oh! lol. Maaaaybe. Wanna see if my panties are dry?” “Sure baby.” She sends him the picture from her car with the damp spot from earlier. “Uh oh. Someone’s been playing big girl with her little parts.” “Winking emoji, “who Daddy? Me?” “I think so. Naughty girl.” Lilly smiles and decides it is going to be a fun weekend…

Okay now we see the true colours you're the type of man child that has no respect women and just thinks they are yours to control and take what you want from them as they should be there to please you. Well there are some words for that kind of behaviour chauvinistic and misogynistic and frankly that kind of behaviour is not acceptable. And oh boy thanks for showing how ignorant you are and it's beyond comical you just looked at a thumbnail and went that must mean sex. If you bothered to actually watch it and listen which I know must be hard for a man like you to hear a woman talk you'll notice that the short is about valentines day which comes with the chronotations of cupid so the outfit is topical to the content and goes on to talk about self love over needing the approval of others. There is again literally nothing sexual about it. Again this is just you sexualising content that is not sexual you clearly have problems with woman, woman empowerment and you clearly have issues containing your sexual urges since you're going around fetishising disabled people without their consent you should go seek help cause your behaviour is just vile and disgusting to see.

Chapter Fifty-Five "I don't think this video is working..." I sighed. We had been trying a few different styles of 'changing your voice' over the past few days. Luckily, the internet was littered with blog posts and video tutorials. Unluckily, some of them seemed to contradict each other. We were trying a new thing about "where your voice sits" or something, but I could barely follow along. I didn't need all the technical terms or whatever; I just wanted to know exactly what Ellie should be doing! Why wasn't there a Baby's First Voice Training app? Would that be too on-the-nose? "I'm telling you again, there is credence in the idea of being a mute. And and I'll be every guys wet dream, imagine; a girl who doesn't talk? Chauvinistic guys would eat that up." Although if I was being fair, guys already fell over themselves for me and that was before this whole 'El is a girl now' thing. Kylie looked about as impressed with my banter as usual, though, and I rolled my eyes. "You're no fun!" "I say we go back to the other video, with the girl talking about breathing." "That video was so boring..." "It was the only one that got any good results," I sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought. "I don't know how I'm supposed to learn to talk when I have trouble even staying awake..." I deflated somewhat. Kylie had this level of patience for me that I'd never seen in her though, and that was kind of inspiring. I rewarded her with a few makeup tutorial videos. Then we watched TV. And finally, we looped back to voice lessons. I was starting to think there was nothing else we could learn. It would just have to be trial and error. "So here's what I think. You do this thing, that she did in the video. Breathe in. Center your... whatever. And talk." It didn't sound great, but maybe practice would help? "Any time you don't talk in that voice, I'm going to hit you." I pouted. "You know positive reinforcement works better than punishment, right?" "Hm..." I paused a moment and nodded my head. "Okay, if you can go a whole week without me needing to remind you, I'll... buy a dress. I'll even wear it sometimes." Ugh, this better be worth it... "A dress that I pick out?" It was important to clarify these things in negotiations! She shuttered and nodded her head, and I found myself clapping jubilantly. Oh yes, heavens yes! I owed it to myself to nail this. I owned it to the world! "Today doesn't count," I sighed. "Use it to practice. The real game starts tomorrow." How bad could a dress be, anyway? Though I notoriously hated them. Probably because my mom used to force me into dresses when I was a kid. Mommy and I had to do a lot of emotional work before I would even wear one at her place. Memories of that awful frilly baby dress from last weekend sent a shiver up my spine. "So? Weekend plans?" "Uh... at least one night at Marnie's place. She's swamped at work and I haven't seen her since Sunday." Though we had been texting quite a bit. "Do you feel like I'm encroaching on your space there? I worry a bit that like... Marnie is your jam, and here I am all bursting on in and stuff. You promise that's okay?" I always sounded a little gloomy when discussing the topic. "I don't feel encroached upon, if that's what you're worried about. But yeah, I guess she's sort of... my jam." We hadn't talked a lot about it, but Ellie had been spending more and more time with Mommy and me. "I mean, I don't mind sharing her. She's... uh..." This felt awkward. Maybe we needed a baseline before having this conversation. "I guess, what do you want from it? Are you just there to play and have fun? Do you even have fun? Or do you want more like... a relationship with her, like I have? I just... I guess I don't know what you get out of it." "I don 't know, that's a complication question. She helped a lot in this whole ‘coming out’ thing and that's pretty magnificent." This question was proving to be more challenging than I'd thought. Hmm. "I have a lot of fun. I get to explore with you and with her, and we kind of got to be close, and..." Ugh. "Would it be weird if I told you I was sort of getting into the whole Littlespace thing..?" "No weirder than me telling you the same thing," I shrugged. Though Littlespace was something that seemed to come naturally to me, the past week had been... enlightening. I really liked it. Not in a "helped with anxiety" way, but in a "felt nice" way. Ugh, this was so messed up. "Anyway, go on." "I felt really performative at first, but I realized recently that I'd been overthinking it. I had too much going around and around in my head as to how I should be instead of just focusing on who. Like. I like being your little sister, I think that's way cute. And it's a healthy way for me to look up to you without the pressure of idolizing you in a day to day way?" "I'm a bad idol anyway." I rolled my eyes. "So then you like it? Or, you think you might like it? The dressing up and the..." I didn't have to mention diapers by name; the implication was there. "I think so. I mean, once you uh... once you do what they're made for, I guess that's like a threshold. I’m on the other side of it now and it feels weird to make a fuss, you know?" I was blushing. "Yeah, I get that..." I blushed a bit too and looked down at my feet. Jeeze, this was awkward... "Um. Well, if you're sure you want this kind of. Uh. Thing. Maybe you should talk to Marnie? Figure out your... relationship." My relationship with Ellie was simple. We were best friends first, and sometimes - when it was fun - sisters. But Marnie took some time. She was my friend who I sometimes called Mommy, and now she was my Mommy I sometimes called my friend. What was Marnie's relationship with Ellie? Were they friends? "On the one hand…" Usually I would have debated this in my head, but I was doing my best to be a more open and communicative girl than I had been as a boy, so I let it come to my lips instead. "I feel like maybe I could talk to her now and get it all sorted out with all this other life-changing stuff. On the other hand, I'm like, shouldn't I handle just one thing at a time?" "Well, I guess it's up to you." I knew Ellie and Mommy spent some time together without me. They were at least friends at this point. And they had each others' numbers - did they text? I wondered if I should be jealous, but... weirdly enough sharing things with Ellie didn't seem to provoke that jealousy. Maybe if they were a little more intimate... oh, yeah, that flared up some jealousy for sure. "Just know, you have my permission if you want to be her Little. So don't worry about violating my space or whatever. I'm cool with it." "You're a good girl, Kylie," I bopped her on the nose playfully, deciding against any further discussion on this topic. "I should get shopping for dresses for you." "Yeah, you do that." I rolled my eyes and let the topic fall away. We went back to watching TV the rest of the night and I would remind her when she used the wrong voice. It happened ten times in one hour! No way she was going to win at this rate. That night, I arranged for another play date with Marnie. One night with Ellie, one without. There were a few things I wanted to explore with our new Mommy/Baby dynamic. Or rather, I wanted to let her explore them with me. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Fifty-Three Noland's dinners were notoriously good; it was one of the reasons I loved coming over here. Maybe my only reason. I liked Jen well enough, but we weren't FriendsTM. I had eight pieces of garlic bread and elected to skip out on the pasta. Ellie barely ate anything. It was almost normal. Like my best friend looking totally different and wearing totally different clothes didn't actually change anything at all. What was I so worried about, anyway? "We should go to your place tonight," I offered Kylie, in a moment of quiet after dinner. She may have missed the earlier comment from Jen, but I sure hadn't - they had date night planned tonight, and I really could think of a thousand things better to fill my night with than the sounds of pegging via proxy. "My place?" I blinked in surprise. Of course, we had stayed at my place a thousand times. It was convenient. I even had a spare room for her! But, well... other than the one time Marnie crashed in my room after the Solstice Party, I had never had a girl stay over before. Obviously Ellie was always a girl! Even if she didn't know it. Right? It wasn't weird, right? Just two totally gay girls that totally probably had crushes on each other staying in the same small apartment. Totally normal. Totally ordinary. "Uh... sure. Yeah. Sure. Of course." "You're the best." She was oddly quiet though, a lot less her usual 'I know~' kind of response than I'd been expecting. We watched a movie with Noland and Jen, but I was a little lost in thought. I knew nothing should be different, but it felt different. Just a little bit. We hadn't had a night alone together since the "I'm a girl" thing, which was... admittedly only yesterday. Yesterday? It felt like weeks had gone by. After the movie, I drove Ellie and I back to my place. She had clothes already in the spare room - she stayed over often enough - but I doubted she would appreciate them anymore. Maybe she wanted to borrow a nightgown. Was she going to take off her makeup? Maybe if she looked more like a boy this wouldn't be so weird. Was that transphobic? Fuck, I was such a mess... "Do I wear a bra to bed?" I mean, I figured I wasn't supposed to, but I knew about as much about girls as I knew about video games: very, very little. I cocked my head to the side in curiosity as she stared up at me from the bed; I was in a skirt and bra and nothing else, and I hadn't taken off my makeup. And she was staring. Was this a faux pas? Fudge. "Uh. Ordinarily, no? Uh, I think it actually has to do with your bra size, so..." My chest wasn't huge; Caroline measured me at a C cup. But Ellie's boobs were... for lack of a better term, non-existent. Maybe she would feel more comfortable in a bra? "That one is from Caroline's store, yeah? You should be fine to sleep in it if you want to." Notably, Ellie would need new bras, ones that gave her a bit more padding in the chest area. Then I wondered if she would get real boobs. Was that a surgery thing? And that led to the thought of Ellie with boobs, standing topless in my room, and I felt warm. I passed her a spare set of pajamas; totally not up to her fabric standards, but they were purple and had flowers on them. More girly than anything she owned. "I'm gonna step out," I muttered, leaving Ellie alone in my room. I took out my phone and sent Marnie a text. I wasn't doing very well... I wore the bra. I also wore her pajamas, and I didn't cause a fuss about wearing them either. But until I bought some more suitable sleepwear of my own, I was just grateful that she was being so generous. * * * * * > What's up? > Stupid feelings shit. > It's literally no different having her here! I should not be freaking out! > Ugh I'm so mad at myself right now. > How can I help? > Talk to me about it, Smylie. > I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. She's cute, so what? I have gone my whole life without getting flustered around cute girls. > And honestly I am not even flustered around her normally. It's just now, because she's staying the night. Even though it's happened like a billion times. > Fuck I'm stressed. I'm gonna have a stupid panic attack over this! Then what? > I hate this. I should be better at handling this. > Maybe it's Ellie you should be sharing those feelings with? > I know it sounds anathema to do that, but I'll talk you through it if you’d like > I don't want to like her. > I don't want to date anyone. > I just want to not have a panic attack please. > Fix it. > Without coming over. Wow, I sounded like a Mommy's girl... > Well, put her in the spare room, pretend nothing's different. > The world won't end, Smylie. > I planned to do that anyway! > You thought she was sleeping in my bed or something?! The door opened next to me and I looked over at Ellie wearing my pajamas. My heart was racing and I was feeling queasy. I'm sure it showed on my face. "So... you're freaking out, huh? Want me to... go? I can." Go? Great. She sees I'm not doing well and immediately wants to leave. Of course she does. Because I fucking ruin everything. "I'm fine," I said sharply and walked away from her, sitting on my sofa and sending another message to Marnie. > Forget it. > You know I won't. "I'm sorry... I'm not good at emotional confrontation, but I can see that you're upset and I wanna be the kind of girl who is good with that kind of stuff. So even if I suck at it, let me try? Tell me what's up?" I looked away from Ellie and down at my feet. What was I supposed to say? She made me nervous? She had no reason to make me nervous. It was just my fucked up mind fucking everything up, like usual. Maybe I should just... talk. "I have anxiety," I said flatly, still a bit annoyed. But the racing of my heart was making it hard to be anything other than scared. "Do you know why?" I asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa. "No," I lied. Though the next part was true. "Sometimes it just does this. And I can't do anything..." "Does it usually help more to wait it out, or to talk through it and figure out the cause?" I was almost certainly the cause; I knew enough to calculate cause and effect here. I knew she was uncomfortable around me. Seeing your best friend as a different gender was bound to make a person feel weird. "I don't know," I said quietly, more to myself than to her. "Marnie doesn't talk about it until it's over... she just helps me get through it." But Ellie wasn't really in the position to do something like that. No offense to her, but she wouldn't be a very good caregiver. Too indecisive. "It's just anxiety," I sighed. "I'm sure I'll be fine." Anxiety and anxiety attacks were different. Maybe this one wouldn't develop. But I was rarely so lucky. "I'd like to hug you; can I do that? Is that okay?" I was more of a 'sit on the sofa across from an upset person and listen' kind of person. But Marnie would hug, and she made up precisely 25% of my sample size of girls. What would Jen do? What would Caroline do? What would Kylie do? "I..." I looked sideways, from the corner of my eye, at the girl wearing my pajamas. My cheeks felt a little warm. Ugh... "Sure, I guess..." So I sat down on the sofa next to Kylie, next to arguably my favorite girl out of the whole sample, and I put my arms around her. Did I lean into her? Did I pull her into me? In the end, the indecision led me down a third option I hadn't considered; we leaned into each other, and I rested my head gently on hers. ...awkward... We had hugged before. We put our feet on each others' laps. We have even nodded off on the other's shoulder. But this felt different. My heart was beating too hard and too fast. My stomach was doing flips. My thoughts wouldn't stay in a single file line, no matter how I bossed them around. They charged the stage, waving signs and screaming as loud as they could. Then my phone buzzed. I checked Marnie's newest text on the home screen. > Remember you have diapers in your closet. I quickly flipped my phone over and tucked it into the couch cushions, hoping Ellie didn't see it. Honestly, what good would a diaper do? It wasn't diapers that made me feel better. It was Marnie. And she wasn't here. They were just a... a prop. Ugh, I felt sick to my stomach. Diapers in her closet. Of course I saw; I was a pixie girl with a short attention span; bright lights and buzzy sounds drew my focus without even trying, and I didn't mean to eavesdrop. Er. Text drop? Who even knows. I sat up nonchalantly and yawned. Did I mention it? Should I? "Do you wanna cuddle in your bed? Like we did at Marnie's? Would that help? I could be the big spoon again." "I don't think that would help," I muttered under my breath, pulling my knees to my chest. I put my forehead to my knees and tried to breathe the way Marnie taught me. In, hold, out. Slow. Why did this have to happen now? Why couldn't I just be a normal person? "So, Caroline, you remember Caroline, from the store? This one time I ordered these gorgeous cotton panties online, and—" I paused on that, wondering what I was doing; she was hyperventilating, and I was telling stories. Was it to distract her? To distract me? I think maybe I just wanted to make her laugh, because if I couldn't chase away her bad feelings, maybe I could drown them out in laughter. "And I get there and Caroline is having this argument with this like fifty year old woman, who insists they're her preorder. So they're going on and on and on, and Caroline is trying to explain things to this customer, and this customer is getting angrier and angrier. Eventually I say 'It's okay, Caroline, I don't want them anymore,' and there is just... silence. Silence while Caroline wonders if I meant to imply they were for me. Silence while this woman tries to figure out if I was implying they were for me. Silence from me as I literally hold my breath." I held my breath at the end of that too, for dramatic effect. "And you know what this woman says?" "Hm...?" Her story was like background noise. But nice background noise. Like a song you heard when you were in middle school. Like I knew all the words already. I guess that's just how best friends talk. "So she says 'I promised my nephew I'd get them for him'. And we're all still silent, and she looks at me, and I look at Caroline, and finally I tell her 'Your nephew has fantastic taste.' And she says to me 'He's too scared to come buy for himself and his Mom's a bit of a basket case.' So there I’m like, what do I say to that? Like, Auntie of the Year, right? But also, is that weird? And then. Then. She says, 'He's about your age, his name is Carson'." Boom. Mic drop. Because Carson isn’t a very popular name and we both went to high school with Carson Radick. That boy was the poster child for toxic masculinity and homophobic as could be - he gave kids like me the worst type of hell. A little laugh broke through my breathing and I closed my eyes tight. Okay. That was actually pretty funny. I turned my head and looked up at Ellie with a smile. Already, I felt exhausted, and the anxiety wasn't even that bad yet. Maybe it wouldn't get any worse. "Carson was a dick... he pinched my ass in ninth grade. I should have beat him up." "You should've pinched his ass and asked where his Aunt got those panties from. Do you think he was wearing in high school? I bet he was. I was. Can you believe the nerve of that boy?" I laughed a bit and ran my fingers up the back of her neck, so I could ruffle her hair playfully. I had no fricking idea what I was doing. Quiet filled the room. My anxiety wasn't going down, but it wasn't going up either. At this level, I could manage it. It was uncomfortable. It was exhausting. But I could go about my daily life. Or nightly life in this case. I let out a little sigh and lowered my feet to the ground. Everything felt like it was underwater. "I'm going to get my pajamas on," I told Ellie with a fake smile. "Do you want these ones?" I offered helpfully. "They're definitely some of the softest clothes you own." "N-no, I'm... I'm okay. I'm just gonna put on some pajama pants or something..." Plus, she looked gorgeous in my clothes. I didn't even know that was something I found sexy! And now I couldn't stop thinking about it. Why did she have to be so cute, anyway? I left Ellie alone in the living room and closed my bedroom door behind me. Pajama pants. Then I could lie down. Sleep would make all this go away, right? I changed into pajamas and paused at the door. I looked over at the closet. She only left those stupid diapers here because I was having bad anxiety last week and she wanted them nearby for convenience. I wasn't ever going to wear one, not without her putting it on me. But my mind wandered to the closet all the same and my body followed. A stack of diapers were waiting for me on the top shelf. This was stupid. Why was I even doing this? With a sigh, I stood on my tip toes and plucked one off the stack. Immediately, the feeling made me think of Marnie. The light rustling of the plastic. The cute pink patterns. And thinking of Marnie made me think about cuddling in her lap and watching movies and playing with toys and getting tucked in. And... I started to feel a little better. I hugged the diaper to my chest, causing it to crinkle, and took a deep breath. It was so calming... after a minute or two, I put it back on the top shelf and went to find Ellie. "Cute pajamas, wow. Why do you own such cute stuff? You have really good taste in clothes!" I just wished she'd spend a little more on them so they felt as nice as they looked. Speaking of feeling... "You're looking better!" I had good taste in clothes? Those were the last words I ever thought I'd hear out of Ellie's mouth. Honestly, she was more likely to tell me she was a time traveling alien from another dimension. I had to take a moment to shake away the shock. "Yeah. Uh... I just needed a minute, I guess." My chest was aching, but my heart rate was down. My stomach didn't feel like it had been tied in knots. Even my thoughts were a little less obtrusive. Weird... "Do you wanna play one of your games? I'll watch and I promise I won't even be on my phone, okay?" Which would be hard, because video games were boring. But for her… I could tough it out. "Yeah, I think that would be nice." I smiled warmly at Ellie - a real smile! - and grabbed my game controller. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Fifty-Two "So, does Noland know?" "Know?" "About being a girl. Did you tell him yet?" Ellie and I were dressed in our usual clothes. Or rather, I was dressed in my usual clothes and she was wearing a skirt and a blouse that she borrowed from my closet in Marnie's house. Her makeup had been re-done and her hair was fluffed and beautiful. The lip gloss on her lips left prints on her mug of cocoa. Mommy had changed us early in the morning back into panties - funnily enough, I think Ellie and I were wearing the same kind from that store Caroline showed me. I kept thinking about it. Ellie in her panties... kinda sexy. But now Ellie and I were alone in Marnie's apartment. She had work. I had a key and I would lock up behind us when we left. "I don't think so? Maybe? I mean, I think he probably already knew, but he's also self-righteous enough that he probably wouldn't have ever assumed." Which, to put it more simply, was to say; "I don't think he'll be surprised." I nodded and sipped my coffee. I didn't like coffee, but it was all Mommy had in the house that would wake me up. "Do you want me to be there? It might be easier with a friend. Though I don't think he'll care." Noland was a socially conscious kind of guy; he had always been that way. "I don't know, maybe? I think logically he's just gonna be like 'okay cool’, and it will be a three second conversation. But I also figured it'd be like that..." With you too, that's what I was going to say. But I bit my damn tongue, because that would have been bitchy. "How about I go anyway?" Truth be told, I wanted to go. I hadn't been the most supportive person at the start of all this, and I wanted Ellie to know that I didn't care if she was different. She was always my best friend, no matter what. "What about your parents? Do you think you'll want to tell them?" "I mean, I guess it's better that I tell them before they find out in some weird viral online video or something," I smiled coyly, but she sighed with her eyes alone. I nodded having got the message loud and clear. "Yeah, I know, I should tell them. They won’t believe me." "I'll be there for that too." Truth be told, Ellie's parents weren't that bad. Way better than my parents, anyway. They let me crash at her place when we were kids when most parents would be like "gender this, gender that". Maybe they knew what a bitch my mom was. But they were also very... ordinary. Something like this would come as a surprise. It was something to be worried about. "Let's work our way up, okay? Noland first. Are you wearing that out? I think it looks really good." "Yeah? You think so?" I was never doubtful of my fashion choices, but I felt like I was starting all over from the beginning now. I had more than a little reservation when it came to putting together ensembles. "Absolutely! Way cuter than me, that's for sure." It wasn't hard to accomplish. I wore torn jeans and ten year old t-shirts. She could wear a burlap sack and still have more style than me. "And Marnie did amazing on your makeup. I swear, no one will mistake you for a boy." Hopefully. "I mean, I sound like a boy, and I move like a boy. So maybe if I just keep my mouth shut and hide behind you, there'll be no problem at all?" Wishful thinking, maybe. The voice thing was true enough. But there were tons of trans girls out there, right? They had to do something about it. And Ellie's voice wasn't exactly masculine. It just... wasn't that feminine either. Hmm... "I'll google it. Rinse out these cups for me and get your shoes on." "You're the boss." This was a world I really knew so little about - what was I supposed to sound like? How was I supposed to move? Maybe I was cute, but was I feminine? Was I cut out to do this, to be this? What about laughing? Sneezing? Coughing? I could put an outfit together, but could I sit like a girl? Gosh. I was in way over my head. * * * * * Ellie and I hit the drive through on the way toward her apartment. Then we sat in the parking lot on our phones flipping through YouTube videos on transgirl voice lessons. Ellie tried a few of them, but she didn't sound... great. Obviously this was something she would have to practice at. We looked up some other stuff about "how to be a girl" but a lot of it was subjective. Basically, be whoever you want. In my opinion, Ellie already had a leg up on that. She already did what she wanted, regardless of gender. Now she just had more freedom. Before we knew it, the sun was on its way down. Afternoon was slipping by. The ice in my soda had melted. How many videos had we watched in this car? "I've come up with a great and original idea that I'm sure nobody has ever thought of before, ever. I'll learn sign language, and be mute. Problem solved." I'd progressively notched the recline on the passenger seat further and further back as our pursuit of knowledge had borne progressively less and less fruit. "I'm all for sign language." It would be fun to talk in secret with someone else in the room. "But you shouldn't be so embarrassed. Girls and guys have a ton of different voices. I think with enough practice you'll find one you are happy with. Look here." I held up my phone. "Vocal chords are like muscles. Stop using one and it will atrophy. That means if you stop talking in a deep voice, eventually it won't happen on its own." Deep was relative, but whatever. "This sounds so tedious, Ky," I groaned, and then groaned again, because I was immediately aware of how boyish my groan was. Aurgh! This was stupid. Gender was stupid. I was stupid. "Then don't change your voice at all. Fuck what other people think." "But I want to sound different! Not for other people, but for me." "Then that takes practice. I could do it with you? I could try to use a different voice?" "I like your voice..." I sighed and leaned back in the chair. This really was harder than I thought it would be. Why wasn't there a pill for this? There was a pill for everything else. "Sorry it's hard," I muttered. "I'll do everything I can to make it easier." "I know, because you've always been there. I had nightmares, you know, at the idea of you not being here, because of this whole... me thing." I sighed, deep as could be. "Let's go home; I wanna tell Noland." * * * * * I wasn't worried about telling Noland. Honestly, there was no way he would do a worse job than I did when Ellie came out to me. But things got a little more complicated when we walked in and found Jen on the sofa. I didn't see her car outside, but I didn't look very hard either. Damnit. Jen looked up from her phone at Ellie, in her blouse and skirt, and stared for a minute. Like she was processing. Then she looked back down at her phone. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad, but I bet it made Ellie nervous. I took her hand for support and squeezed it. Things would be fine... right? "Nole's just down at the store getting some fancy-butts bread flour - I teased him last time he tried to make bread and he feels like he has some honor to defend. He should be home any minute tho." Jen didn't look up at all during that, although she did shuffle over on the sofa to allow sitting space for the new arrivals that we were. So I sat down next to her. It was almost like I'd have preferred the earth-shattering kaboom. I looked at Ellie curiously. Did she want to tell Jen? That wasn't the plan. But she'd figure it out sooner or later, right? Ellie shrugged her shoulders and we both took a seat on the sofa. This was so awkward... "So uh, Jen," I cleared my throat, because it felt like I had about a thousand bees making honey in there. "Hm?" She didn't look up. "I wanted to talk to you and Noland about a thing." "Yeah? A thing?" "A thing," I nodded. Was it warm in here? Gosh. "Do you wanna wait until Noland gets here?" I offered, more to Ellie than to Jen. Maybe if she only had to explain this once, it would be easier? I wondered what it would be like if I told my mom I was gay. That's when I realized how awful this really must be for Ellie! I would rather die. "Let's wait," I decided. "We could watch TV or something until then." "Sure, if you want. You can play The Sega if you wanna plug it in," Jen offered, sounding about as outdated as could be in her vague understanding and description of video games - they weren't really her thing, so nobody ever criticized her. Her sense of disinterest and distraction left me with a conflicted mixture of relieved and pouty, so I passed the remote to Kylie and put my faith in her to make me feel better. I put a show on Netflix; something Ellie and I had been watching. Jen didn't seem to mind - she was distracted by her phone. I hoped it was calming Ellie down a little, but I held her hand all the same. You know. Just in case. Noland turned up ten minutes later. He came in, saw Ellie and me, and started talking about dinner. "I didn't know you guys would be here but I'm making enough garlic bread for a small country so feel free to stick around." "Uh, so, Noland..." "Oh, right, no bread, huh? Can you have garlic butter? There's no calories in that, right?" I blinked, had a brief hard lock, and then recovered from the absolute stupidity of that comment, and shook my head. "Can you sit down? I wanna talk to you." And, I guess… "and Jen, about a thing." "Urgent talk?" Noland said with a touch of nervousness. He looked down at the bag in his hand; it was clear he wanted to start baking. But Noland was nothing if not accommodating. So he traded places with Ellie - between Jen and I - who got up in front of us wearing her cute skirt and blouse, makeup on point, and hair fluffed up with a headband. Honestly, other than her voice, I wasn't sure how Jen and Noland even recognized her! "So..." You got this, El, what's the big deal? You look great, you feel great, you're going to impress the heck out of them. So just say it already! "I'd like you to call me Ellie now. Uh. She and Her pronouns, please." I nodded, but Kylie turned her head at me and opened her eyes wide in equal parts encouragement and huffyness. Why did it matter what I said from here? Why did I have to say that? I know, I know, that's who I am, this is the truth of the matter, an- "So you're a girl?" I got freed out of my thought loop by Jen asking the question and Noland then reprimanded her. "If she says she's a girl, she's a girl, but she can be a boy with she/her pronouns, or she can be nonbinary, or genderfluid, or anything, you shouldn't assume." "Duh, boyfriend. I just wanted to clarify so we knew." "If Ellie wanted to tell us that, she'd tell us that." "Maybe she's having trouble finding the words?" I wasn't sure if them bickering was helpful or harmful. I felt like a deer in the headlights though. "Yeah, she's a girl," I interrupted. Best to put this whole debate to rest before it got out of hand. Though Noland and Jen both took to the she/her pronouns quite quickly. "Oh okay, that's a relief," Noland said with a laugh. "I was worried you wanted to move out or something. Sorry Ellie, but I can't afford this place without you right now!" This had to be the weirdest coming out I'd ever seen... "I'm not moving out..." I was baffled. Why? Because they didn't care? Of course they didn't care, they were my friends. It shouldn't matter one damn bit if I was a girl or a boy or queer or anything like that. I just... didn't expect that expectation to apply to reality. "Y'all are great people, you know that?" I mumbled, equal parts happy and deflated. "Yeah, and I'm gonna make great garlic bread. Come help me, because—" "Because women belong in the kitchen?" Jen teased. Noland went bug eyed and shook his head, waving his hands. "No no no! I just know that Ellie won't try to eat the cookie dough, unlike some ladies I know." I looked at Jen and we both shrugged our shoulders. He wasn't wrong. * * * * * Noland led the way into the kitchen with the bag of flour in hand. By the time Ellie got there, he was already mixing some ingredients. Now that the two of them were alone, Noland was a little less cavalier. "Hey. I'm proud of you, you know. For finding something that makes you happy and going for it. Honestly, it must be hard." "Being a girl isn't hard, it's the rebranding issue that sucks. Can you imagine how telling my parents is going to be? Some people, I can literally just picture how they'll take it. Caroline will clap and squeal and jump up and down. Michael at the tailors will be like '...you weren't a girl before? I'm confused,' but when it comes to my folks... I don't know, Noland." I thought about being a girl, about rebranding, about who I was, who I wanted to be. And so I did something very out of character for a boy who obsessed over expensive clothing - I put my hands on the counter behind me, and pulled myself up onto the countertop, scooting back and dangling my legs over the side. It was kind of freeing. "Identity is a tricky thing," Noland said without looking up from his recipe book. "It changes like... every day. Even if you don't realize it, it changes a little bit. And then there are the big things that mean so much to you that you don't want to let them go. So you hold onto those big things, so you have an idea of who you are, you know? But then sometimes holding onto those things makes it impossible to find the next thing, the thing that might define you even better than the thing you're holding onto." Noland seemed to be speaking from experience, but about what specifically was unknown. "Changing is good. Rebranding is good. If no one changed, they couldn't grow or become better. But people like to hold onto what they know. It's safe or comfortable or something. And then they think badly about people who have the courage to change, because they can't. And it's easy to hate things you can't do." I didn't have much to say, because Noland wasn't exactly a smart guy, but he was wise as heck. I was worried that anything I said to follow that up wouldn't match up to his poignancy. So I nodded, and I kicked my feet, and I waited for him to say something less brilliant. Which, being Noland, didn't take too long. "So does that mean you're dating Kylie now?" I blinked and quickly shook my head. "No no no no, it sure doesn't mean that." "Well, you weren't dating before because she likes girls. And you didn't think you were a girl. Turns out - surprise! - you are a girl. So it seems sort of... serendipitous." "Well, she would have to like me to date me." "She barely knows you!" Noland said - probably a little too loudly - and toned it down to a heavy whisper. "I mean, you were an Automatic No before, and now you aren't. Maybe the Automatic part was the only thing she had trouble with." "Right, but if I make some move on her now, she's going to think I'm only being a girl for her, or to get with her, or to... to go into girls' bathrooms, or something. I don't know." I wondered if I should tell Noland about the series of kisses… "I really don't think she's that shallow," Noland said, oblivious to the fact that exactly that thing had already happened. "But maybe you're right. You made your move, so she knows you like her. Maybe you should wait until she makes the next move? The ball is in her court, so to speak." "Assuming we're even playing the same game." I muttered, feeling a little more glum than I wanted to admit. To his credit, Noland countered with a very solid. "At least you're playing for the same team now." ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!

Chapter Fifty I looked up from the trains at Ellie. She was so cute, sitting on her bum with her legs spread. If I paid enough attention, I could see the diaper under her dress. But something else caught my eye; the little disk hanging off her pacifier. I hadn't used that thing in forever, but it had helped me a lot back in the day. Marnie had it made for me from some Etsy shop. She only put it on my pacifier when I was worried I would do something wrong. Did Ellie think she was doing something wrong? I pulled the pacifier from my lips and crawled over to Ellie, who continued to suck on hers. I took her hand in mine and smiled brightly. "Everything is okay," I assured her. "Lets play trains, okay? I gotta get this one to the station on time." I put the small wooden train in her hand. "Nuhuh. Not moving." I shook my head in absolute certainty, refusing to look at her. I'd wet myself, like a baby. In a diaper, like a baby. Not on accident, but on purpose, and I didn't know if that was better or if that was worse! But the world didn't end - maybe if I moved, though, it might. I certainly felt like if I moved, I'd just gush a tidal wave of pee all over the floor though. Ack. Gross. I couldn't fully understand her around her pacifier, but so she definitely was anxious. Nervous about something. But that's what Littlespace was for. So I pulled on her wrist and forced the wooden train into her hand. "Come ooooonnnnn! You're gonna make it laaaaaate!" "Nuhuh there's been a flood, no more trains are running." I shook my head and wriggled my fingers, trying to squirm away, maybe out of her grasp, maybe out of reality, I didn't know. I took the binky out and shouted as loud as I could. "Mommy!" Mommy was quick to come into the room, and I sat blankly on the floor. Why was Ellie upset? I didn't understand? Did I do something wrong? But when Mommy saw the worry on my face, she shook her head. "It's okay Smylie. You know how babies cry over silly things." But despite her reassurances, I wasn't sure I'd ever heard Ellie talk so loudly in her life... "Come on, Ellie. Let's have a talk, okay?" Mommy leaned down to help Ellie up off the floor. She had a surprising amount of strength, even for her height. It was easy to get the little girl onto her feet. "I did it, I did it, I did it, now you do it, you do it, you do it, you do the thing you said you'd do if I did the thing you wanted me to do." My words were running together, and even the momentary pause to stand up didn't really slow them down or make them any clearer. But to my relief, at least, there was no puddle on the floor. Mommy led Ellie down the hall toward my room, but the anxiety was building in my chest. I wanted her to be okay. I felt like I did something wrong. But Littlespace was strong enough to prevent an all out panic attack. I got to my feet and tip toed down the hall, trying to hear what was going on. "Shh, you're a good girl, such a good girl for Mommy..." Marnie had slid her hand up the back of Ellie's dress as they walked up the hall and felt the seat of her diaper. She was definitely wet, but not enough to be a worry. Once Marnie and Ellie were inside the spare room, Marnie sat down on the bed and pulled her little girl onto her lap. She held her tight and cooed softly, like she had once before in the bathroom. Marnie slid the pacifier between her lips. "Look at you, perfect little girl. You did everything right. Suck for me and calm down, okay princess?" I winced when she sat me back down, because I was sure there was going to be a gushing fountain of wetness soaking her lap when she did that, but once again I was left relieved and only basically reminded of what I'd done by the warm squishing of the diaper. I didn't think I liked this very much, but the binky seemed to help... probably because she said it ought to. "That's a good girl..." Marnie was nearly whispering to Ellie. The fact that she hadn't taken the pacifier out of her mouth and even started to calm down some boded well. "I'm going to tell you some truths," Marnie said gently. "You should accept them, because society is often wrong and Mommy is often right. Okay?" She waited for her to nod, still rocking and rubbing her back. Why wasn't she changing me? I'd been good, I'd done what she said. Why wasn't she changing me? She wanted to talk? Okay. She could talk. Maybe while getting me out of my pee soaked undergarments? "You're a good girl. A wonderful girl. A perfect girl. You did what Mommy said. You make me so happy. Diapers are meant for this. You did what you were supposed to do. You gave up your responsibility to your Mommy. You stopped listening to the world and started listening to yourself. You didn't get anything wet. You didn't leak. If you did, that's not wrong. That's Mommy's fault for not changing you sooner or diapering you better. You can't do it wrong. You aren't gross. You aren't icky. You are exactly as you should be. You are adorable. You make my heart sing. You give me butterflies." Mommy spoke in soft tones. I stood outside the door, catching every other word. I remembered this speech, or something like it. Back then, I thought it was stupid. They were clearly lies. Even if they helped in the moment, I never thought she was telling me the truth. But she was... Tears dripped down my cheeks and I headed back to the living room. This was Ellie's moment. Even if she didn't know it now, she needed it. There was a lot on my mind, when there ought to have been nothing. The implications of this, that Marnie expected this, that Kylie had been doing this for a while, that within these four walls it was the most normal thing in the world and that my whole understanding of normality was pretty much moot anyway by this point. I didn't register a lot of what Marnie said consciously, but it all hit at a deeper level anyway. This was a normal she expected. This was a normal she preferred, that she got fulfillment from. Whether or not I got anything out of it didn't matter, because she bent over backwards to take care of me, and of Kylie, and if all she wanted in return was a freshly-minted girl to pee her pants every now and then, that only seemed fair. Well... as long as it wasn't my literal pants. Those were expensive. "Change now?" Ellie was doing a lot better. Her voice was quieter and her eyes were softer. Some of that anxiety and panic had gone away. Marnie smiled happily and nodded. "Of course, princess." Marnie knew that the first time someone wet a diaper it was an unpleasant experience. It was scary and new. She couldn't control that. But she could control the part that followed. She knew how to perfectly change a diaper. Exactly what to comment on: the cuteness of the little girl on the blankets, the fresh smell of new baby powder, and the soft dry diaper as it crinkled under her bottom. Every single thing Ellie hated about a wet diaper, Marnie would help her love the opposite in a dry one. And one day, if Ellie ever found herself liking the wetting part, Marnie had words for that too. "All done!" Marnie cheered, patting the front of Ellie's diaper. "Nice and dry, and you smell so sweet. Should we get you some pajamas, too? It's almost bedtime." "Uhhuh, please." I would have asked her not to tell Kylie, but if Kylie hadn't figured it out by now, she'd know next time it happened anyway, so what was the point? The world didn't end, I was still the same girl I'd always been, and now I got to smell like fresh baby powder and wear cute pajamas. It was... kinda nice to be spoiled. To feel loved. ---------------------- Thank you for reading! Like, Comment, and check us out on Patreon!