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I wasn not ieven out of Cardiac ICU when they had me on solid food and the first phase of physical therapy. walk 200 ft. I had to take baby steps because the nusres had to deal with carrying all the tubes and IV's. Modern therapy is NOT about take it easy, it is about getting going ASAP and as much as you can. Iwas then transferred to the ward just a notch below ICu; called 'Step Down". I did so well there, 600 ft that they decided I didk not need the hospital physical therapy and, 6 days after surgery, was trnasferred to a "skilled nursing rehabilitation facility on 28 August. By the last week, I had passed all therapy goals and had taken a wald of 3 or 3-1/2miles. They only kept me around until sternum precautions were no longer necessary and hated to see me go because I was very good to them, ktoo. I guess being part Fairy has some advantages, though I did not tell them obout that. I will graduall inrease my leven of activity until I am back to full strength, as the surgeon put it, by mid November. One of the workers at the hospital, and one of the physical/occupation therapists at the rehab place said I was an "inspiration"

For me it just sounds too much like exhibitionism and forcing people who dont want to be involved to be involved without their consent. I have no issue with what people wear but you just make it sound like the motivation is to force people to react to your diapered state and that doesn't seem respectful to be honest. Motivation is pretty important.

I lied: it was a quadruple.I passed all therapies with sparkling tiaras and was recently taken off the A-fib meds. I had about five tubes in me, indluding a foley cath. I do NOT want THAT ever again I just got home today and goes who the first two "persons" I hugged and kissed for just ever The scar has to be deatl with if I am to wear my classic babydolls On the Setp.6 exam the cardiologist said "your heart is strong" since there was no cardiac impact\ AT All I think Truthinder Lady Alicianne was there since ther doctor said nothing about the unursiall organs that I have in that area that make use able to use the "magic want" (in our language the words translate to "dong stick") she must have either shelded them or used some kind of specific amnestic on him of the sort that makes him unaware of them and their unusualness

Sophie was a young mom of 32 who has a teenage son of 16. She had her son when she was his current age and was a single mother. Recently though ever since he started high school, her son began to get quite rebellious and one day she thought of a way to set him straight before it was too late.

Hello I have an idea for a roleplay, I am looking for someone to play the father. Just to make it clear this is not a sexual roleplay. I play Tilly she is 21 and has just arrived in town. This is Tilly - She is a bit odd. She likes to read, paint and play chess. She also sometimes wears the rabbit mask when she wants to be "hide" behind something. She tends to speak whatever wonderfully weird thought that pops into her head. She is very immature for her age. She does have a very bad wetting problem. She wears pull ups and most of the time can get to the potty when she goes number 2 but never number 1. She has arrived in town with a mission, to find her birth father. That's you. PM me if you are interested.

I had one 25 years ago - built it myself. It had to go when I got together with my wife. Maybe one day I'll have another - I still miss it sometimes.

Wow. Not in a million years would I think of using regular diaper pins in a disposable. You guys are always resourceful and have good ideas.

68.) …I'd had worse afternoons. I mean, I didn't like being treated like a goddamn baby, but… but the thoughts were gone. Temporarily. The memories didn't bother me. I was too lost. I watched Dora and let Anni play with my hair for hours. When Nora finally made an appearance, I had just gotten the strength to move again, but walking was still out of the question. I sat up and looked at her as she came into the room. I pouted. "Hello, Princess." Nora was looking very well-rested, which was a well-deserved feeling for the woman who'd been up all the previous evening, and much of the morning. "Marta tells me that you've been a very good girl today, and it looks like you had fun with Anni — did she do your hair?" The pigtails were uneven and sloppy, but still pretty amazingly cute. "…I wanna go home," I muttered, trying to pull myself to my feet. Ultimately, though, I only got as high as my knees before giving up. I didn't like her towering over me like this… it made my words sound less powerful. And what was worse: I'd let myself get this way. Stupid milk… stupid, stupid milk... The woman smiled down at Josie and then motioned to the walls of the living room. "This is your home for a while now, princess. Until you're better. You asked for my help, and I'm going to make sure that you get all the attention you deserve." Marta had taken Anni out of the living room discretely during the conversation, and that just left the two of them together for now. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. I tugged myself up to my knees again, and with great effort pulled myself onto the couch. I was so exhausted from all of it, though. I couldn't believe I'd let myself get like this. "I'm not staying here. You can't keep me here." Jeeze, everything was so hazy… "My sweet, you asked to stay here, you asked for my help. And I'm going to do just that, and once you're properly treated, you'll be allowed to go, just as Rissa did this morning." Luzy knew just how things worked here, though, but not how it began, not what the early stages were like. Not the progression from autonomy to eventual dependence. She just saw the end results. "I'm not like Rissa! I am not a child!" Rissa left…? I didn't even notice… but I supposed she wasn't out here. She should have been out here… "Rissa's still…" I had to take a breath. Breathing was as hard as staying focused when you had so much to say… "Rissa's still got problems. She should be here. Not me. I have school. I have work." Okay, I didn't have work. But I needed work! "I have an apartment, and furniture… I'm not staying here!" "Everything is taken care of, princess. Rissa is going to stay with Koi for a spell, and then she'll take care of your apartment. Don't you worry too much about school, that's what Mom's are for." The word Mommy was still tenuous to the woman, she knew that it would be okay, logically, but she didn't want to rush the girl into things. She'd come to call her Mommy in the natural course of things. "…Rissa's staying with… with Koi?" Rissa. The girl who literally put her entire hand in my ass. The girl who had me lick her pussy ten times a day. The girl who basically took every ounce of my sexuality. Was living with the girl who kissed me? MY BEST FRIEND?! "I AM LEAVING!" The yelling didn't do me justice. It brought stars to my vision… "You must remember that Rissa is not the girl that she used to be. She's Ister, for the most part, now as an adult. You mustn't worry so much about others at the moment, princess. The sooner you can focus on your own recovery, the sooner you'll be cleared to leave." There was paperwork for Josie, things that had been lodged, treatment manifests, school forms, and legal custodianship. She quite literally could stop the girl from leaving, but that was a fact that didn't need to be shared right now. "…how long? A week?" The woman shrugged her shoulders. I looked harshly at her, or as harshly as I could with looking like I was going to cry. "I have class. I'm close to graduating. If you want me to start being happier and dealing with things, I need to move on, right? So I need to graduate." I'd put so much work into this program, to keep me on track despite my setbacks… "You're here under emergency medical suspension. You won't forfeit any of your classes, and you will be able to complete your current classes upon leaving the program, be that in a week or a month or more. The paperwork has been lodged, and the approval given. Your apartment is being taken care of, your school is handled, and you lost your job at Subway, so unless there's something else you'd like to worry about, I think we're safe to move on to your treatment program, don't you?" This would be the first of her twice-per-week talks. At first they'd be very direct and adult, but over time they'd become much more abstract. "I AM NOT STAYING HERE FOR A MONTH!" I went to stand, to yell more, to hit her, maybe! To fight for my right as an adult. But my legs gave out and I fell onto my hands and knees. I exhaled harshly, closing my eyes tight. Everything was spinning… everything was falling apart… "…I'm not… s-staying here…." "You're going to stay here as long as it takes for you to get well, princess. And our first step in that goal is to give you your new name." The woman reached into her pocket and took out a plastic-beaded bracelet with letter-block charms that read Josie. She fastened the bracelet around Josie’s wrist and smiled, allowing Luzy the opportunity to look at it, read it, understand what it meant. I ripped at the little beaded plastic, to snap it, to shoot stupid block letters across the room like I did the cookies. But it didn't move. The bracelet was familiar. Very familiar. Ister had one on her wrist, too, when I'd gotten here, and Anni had one on her ankle. I never paid them any attention before… but the bracelet didn't come off. It didn't snap. It didn't even budge. It just left marks on my wrist where the beads pushed into the skin. Josie…? I… I wasn't… "Josie. You will be Josie until you're ready to leave, at which point you get to choose who you become. Josie is a four year old girl, a sweetheart who enjoys playing with her sister, and very much enjoys her milk. Josie is aware of what has happened in the past, and doesn't hide from it, or ignore it. She understands, however, that her Mom knows best, and her Mom will tell her when it's okay to think about those things. Josie is pretty." Josie is pretty. At first, those words would be followed by something to cause positive feelings, an external tool — a shot, in this case, one to bring a sense of warmth and contentment — but in time, the association would be made, and those three words would trigger happiness all on their own. I pulled at the bracelet again, but for whatever reason, it didn't come off. I looked for a clip or a latch, but I didn't find anything. How had she put it on? I should have been paying more attention… "I'm… my name is Luzy…" I muttered, biting my lip. I pulled myself off my hands and knees, on just my knees, and looking up at the woman. She was so much taller than me… "I'm not… not staying here…" The shot, under her bracelet, the warmth, it was had a similar impact as the milk as most pure contentment would, in that it made the world seem quite a bit more lovely than it was. "Josie, you'll be praised for accepting your real name, because your old name is hurt, it needs time to recover and heal. You don't want to be in the way of that healing, do you?" "…cut it out…" I rubbed my eyes a little, but things felt weird. I felt weird… I felt… calmer… "…you can't…" I fell back on my bottom, rubbing my eyes a little more. Everything was hazy, but it was bright. I knew I was blushing, but I didn't know why. I looked at my feet, playing with my fingers… "Why don't you try saying it? I know it seems a little bit new right now, like a new pair of socks, but maybe you hearing your voice say it will help. Go on, now, tell me your name, Josie." Of all the things at work in the program, it was often the imprinting of a new name that people resisted most — even more so than doing all their bathroom, helplessly, in diapers! "…it's not… that's not my name…" I pouted, rubbing my eyes. I looked up at the woman and blushed. She smiled down at me, on my level now, kneeling, perhaps. She put her hand on my cheek and I fell into it, curling up against her fingers. I didn't feel right... "Isn't it possible you only feel that way because you haven't heard yourself say it in your voice, princess? Isn't it possible that… it is your name, and you're just not used to it, yet?" Josie was putty, barely able to move, nuzzling into the woman’s affectionate touch. She was prime for this sort of therapy, even chemical influence aside, she was such a naturally affection-starved girl. “It's not…" But my tone was a little lost. I couldn't even remember what I was arguing anymore. I'd never been in such a state, such blatant… disarray. I bit my lip and rubbed my eyes again. "Just say it one time.” One time. I could do that. I mean… why not? It didn't change anything… "…Josie…" "Josie is Pretty." The delivery mechanism for the chemical was ingenious — two nubs on the inner side of the bracelet that wouldn't break the skin, pressed lightly and the cocktail would be pushed through the girls skin, an instant rush of warmth and happiness. No pain, no needles, no obvious external influence. "It's such a pretty name, and even prettier in your voice, such a good match, doesn't it make sense to be yours?" "…I…" I couldn't even see things right anymore. Everything was a blur of colors and noise and prettiness and I couldn't remember any of those memories that haunted me. I nodded my head, slightly, and closed my eyes to regain some thought. "… I guess it's.. it's fine…" What was fine? What was I even saying…? "Tell me your name, Josie. Names are such funny things, you need to hear yourself say that it's your name, and soon it starts to be truth." Over the coming days, the woman would teach the girl the differences between Josie and Luzy, about how they shared memories, but Josie was going to protect Luzy and learn how to handle them for her, and keep her safe. For now, it started with the name. "…name is… Josie…" The woman played with my hair and helped me up on the couch. Honestly, I couldn't tell up from down. Nora pulled my head into her lap. She played with my hair for a long while while she reiterated, over and over: "your name is Josie". Sometimes I'd repeat her. Sometimes I'd enjoy the colors. All in all, it wasn't a bad afternoon.

But surely this can't go on for ever? You're going to have to talk about it some time aren't you? She may be very unhappy, but unwilling to show it. If that's the case, surely your relationship is in serious jeopardy isn't it? if so, you need to try to fix it if you want it to last. And if she isn't unhappy, talking about it shouldn't be too much of a problem. And yes, I know talking about it is very difficult for most people, including me and my wife. It's giving me grief at the moment too. I know I'm looking at things from my point of view, not yours. Don't take this as advice, it's just another bit of someone else's experience. Obviously I don't know the full story, and I don't know you or your wife either. Good luck with it to both of you!

That is huge for many people. Probably the hardest thing for non-suicial people to understand. Thanks for mentioning that.

A closed mouth gathers no foot

In all my years of wearing cloth diapers I have NEVER had a problem getting them tight.

I liked the way you introduced new characters! And how you are showing the regression of him ! I think he gonna look so cute wearing his new shortalls and I think he gonna end being a model for baby stuff like diapers etc rsrs

I got to show off my diaper and changed it in a public setting! Just got back from a multi-day stay at a dormitory style "camp." All of us guys were assigned a room randomly and each room had three beds in it. Community bathrooms/showers were down at the end of the hall. Toilets, urinals and showers were all fully open. Everyone could see everything. My disposable diaper got changed in front of everyone who wandered in or out of the bathroom. There was no hiding my dino print plastic panties. My roommates saw me go to bed and get up in a diaper and plastic panties. They all laughed, asked questions, had comments and got good natured ribbing about using the changing tale. Lots were envious, wished they wore, or said they should wear diapers. By the end they just yawned and said "hurry up" so that they wouldn't have to cleanup the floor if I leaked on it. Many saw me dripping. A lot of people got to experience my diapers and plastic panties first hand and I'll bet it spread like wildfire throughout the "camp." They kept us very busy with a lot of activity. Being camp, lots of outdoor stuff, camp files, water sports, and indoor/outdoor games. We all ate together at large, long tables. It was a good experience and would encourage you to do the same. And had lots of different beer to try. College babies: It ain't that hard. Or bad. You may discover that only you care the most and embarrassment is temporary and short lived. Just make sure to pee on the floor and say "oops... I did it again!"

Rain woke to the feeling of movement, like she was floating on a pool of water maybe, a gentle rocking. It felt safe and pleasant, and it was only with great reluctance that she opened her eyes. She was in Indara’s room like she was before she had fallen asleep. The room was dark except for a small candle on the nightstand nearby. But this time she was surprised to find herself in her captor’s arms. Indara was….. rocking her, cradling her like an infant. As alarming as that was, it was made even more awkward by the fact that Rain wasn’t wearing pants at the moment, as they had gotten wet in her last accident. So she was in a simple shirt with her diaper exposed. And Indara was rocking her. She was pretty sure Indara didn't know she was awake yet. In fact, Indara didn't seem to be paying much attention anyway. Her eyes looked vacantly toward the wall. With one hand, she brushed Rain’s hair, while her other hand was on her diaper, making small little pats. Finally, Rain felt like she had to ask. “Uh……Indara? What are you doing?” Indara looked almost surprised that she had been caught. It was too dark to tell, but it almost looked like she was blushing. Could she blush? Gabriel had mentioned how human like synths could appear. They could eat, they breathed, who knows what else. “I'm sorry. I know this is probably demeaning for you.” Indara said, smiling down at her. “If it's not too much trouble, would it be okay for us to stay like this for a bit?” “Yeah……okay, sure. But……um……what's going on?” Rain figured she didn't have much of a choice anyway. Indara was strong enough that she probably wouldn't have been able to get free if she tried. Indara was quiet, gathering her thoughts, but she kept a steady rhythm of rocking and patting her diaper. There was almost a kind of sadness in her eyes now. Rain had seen her angry, seen her excited during their fight, and now the all too human machine looked sad. “I just realized I don't know your name. I'd like too if you're okay with it.” “My name is Rain.” She said, still wondering what this was all about. Indara looked confused for a second. “That’s not a typical human name.” And so while being rocked like a child, Rain told her story. Indara listened with an almost blank expression. When she had finished, Indara nodded and gave a small smile. “It was raining that day too, when Jericho found me. You've had quite the journey for such a young girl. I hope you get your memory back.” There seemed to be more that she wanted to say, but couldn't, or maybe wouldn't. It felt like a shadow was over her, hanging heavy over her thoughts. “Indara, are you okay? Is something wrong?” “I wasn't totally honest with you earlier.” Indara said at last. “I told you I was a courser, and I am to some extent, but I'm also not.” “What does that mean?” Rain asked from her cradled position. “My original function......god I hate that word……function. I was not created a courser. I was originally designed as a caretaker, to watch the Institue’s children while their parent's worked. For years and years I helped raise their young. I loved my job, I really did.” “Okay. So all this is what? Nostalgia?” Indara laughed. A sweet and beautiful laugh. “Yes. Although you're a bit bigger than the kids I looked after. Not too much though. I'm not an expert on human biology, but should you be so scrawny? Doesn't Miles feed you?” “I'm just small. I always have been. I don't think I look like a kid though.” Indara nodded, and Rain felt her hand probing her diaper, checking it. “To be fair, the diapers make you look smaller somehow. No offense, I think you look adorable. By the way, you're pretty damp, so I'll change you after I finish my story, okay?” Rain could feel her face going red. Not even Tali had treated her like this, although she got close at times. Indara had just checked her diaper while rocking her and declared that a change was in order. Like it was a simple fact, not up for debate. Indara continued. “You know why I loved taking care of those kids? They treated me like I was a human. They couldn't conceive what I was, only that they had fun with me. I cared for them and they cared for me and I was happy.” Indara closed her eyes and sighed, and the rocking stopped for a moment. Then she moved on. “Time passed however, and those same kids grew up and they began to see me as an object, a machine. A machine that gave them nostalgic memories, but still a thing nonetheless. I didn't understand why, but suddenly I didn’t matter anymore. But I had new kids to care for so it was okay. But the idea had planted itself inside me. They looked at me different because I wasn't a person in their eyes. But I knew. I did matter. I wasn't just some machine. And I asked myself, didn't I deserve love too? It took years before it hit me. I didn't want to be used and discarded anymore. I wanted to be valued and that would never happen at the Institute.” “So you ran away?” “The war between the Institute and the Brotherhood was causing chaos, and many synths had used the distraction to escape. But I was afraid to leave. I knew I would be hunted. The Institute would sends coursers to hunt me down. The Brotherhood would kill me on sight, as they had others who escaped. There was a group of humans who were helping my kind escape, but I couldn't trust them, the Railroad. I thought they would betray me.” “So one day I decided to escape on my own, and to defend myself from whoever came after me, I took extreme measures. I stole the combat data for the coursers and uploaded it into myself. There were consequences, of course. The data changed me, made me more vicious and predatory. I suddenly knew how to fight and hunt, how to kill and butcher and destroy. Still, I was sure that I could handle myself if I had too. Then I left and escaped into the wasteland.” Rain could tell the story was difficult for Indara, and she instinctually reached and put a hand on her shoulder. “So you were like a nanny bot….and then you made yourself into a courser?” “Yes. In a way. But I wasn't built as a courser, and I soon discovered that even with the combat data, a true courser was more than my match.” * Years before…. She hit the ground hard. She was scared and frustrated. Despite uploading the combat data, she wasn’t able to defend herself. The courser they had sent was modeled as a man, tall and tan, wearing the traditional black garb of the synth hunters. He looked down on her with no emotion. She had thought that all synths had emotions, but the coursers were different. They seemed to feel nothing at all. And he was so strong. No matter how hard she had fought, he beat her down. No matter where she ran, he followed. If she hid, he found her. He had chased her for endless miles, across whole states. It had turned into a kind of futile game, and she knew now that it was hopless. She was going to be taken back, and the Institute would tear her apart, rip away everything that she was. She would cease to exist. “Stop this pointless struggle Z-1366. Give up now and things will go better for you.” She scrambled away. “No! I won't go back. I don't want to go back!” “Not your choice to make Z-1366. Stop being hysterical. It's embarrassing. Come along now, or I'll be forced to use your recall code and deactivate you. I'll admit, I was curious to see if you could match me with your stolen skills. An error, no doubt, that I let my curiosity, pride even, dictate my actions. Nonetheless, this is over.” She leapt at him one more time, and when he knocked her back down as she had predicted, she tried to sweep his legs out from under him. He saw through her tactic and effortlessly dodged her leg, at the same time kicking her so hard she was sent rolling across the dirt. “It’s time to go home.” He said. He grabbed her roughly by the hair. She screamed and she kicked but he ignored her and was preparing to teleport. Then, in an instant, his head simply disappeared, exploded in a shower of blood. He let her go and fell to the ground. Behind where he once stood, a man looked down at her, concern in his eyes. He looked young and rugged at the same time. In his right hand, a held a large caliber revolver, still smoking. “You okay? I don't know what that was all about, but whoever that guy was rubbed me the wrong way. It seemed downright wrong to let him manhandle you like that.” She saw more humans approaching, but her savior held up a hand and they kept back. The sky had grown dark and suddenly she felt wet droplets hitting her skin, first slowly, then faster as more and more fell. It was cold, ice cold, but she loved it. It was real, it seemed like the first real thing she had ever felt. Rain. It was wonderful. She was afraid. Who was this man? What did he want? She pushed herself away in fear. “Please……don't hurt me. I just…..I wanted to be free. I wanted to be real.” The man knelt down. The way he looked at her….like she was someone. “You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you. If you're a slave, you can consider those days over. You're free. You can do whatever you want.” She sat in the pouring rain, as the man stared at her awaiting her response. Freedom. It didn’t seem possible. “I don't know what to do. I don't have anywhere to go. I'm alone.” “Well in that case, why don't you come with me? I'll get you someplace warm, get you something to eat. You'll be safe. It's up to you though. No one will force you to do anything you don't want too.” “Why? Why would you help me? I'm nothing…..I’m not even real.” Then he stuck out his hand as water ran down his face. “You look real to me. Beautiful, if a bit rough around the edges. You can call me Jericho. What's your name?” She hesitated, staring at the outstretched hand. “I don't have a name. I have a number.” The man kept his hand outstretched and thought for a moment. “No name huh? How about…….Indara? A unique name for a unique woman.” He called her a woman. Not a machine or a synth or a tool. A woman. She nodded shyly. “Come with me, Indara. Let's get the hell away from here. First home, then…..wherever you want to go.” After a moment, she reached out and took his hand. It felt warm despite the freezing water. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. She felt happy again, for the first time in a long time. * “Do you know what it's like to spend your whole existence as nothing, just a tool to uncaring overlords? To be told everyday that you were nothing? Can you imagine what it would be like, after all that, to have one person, just one person, tell you that you mattered? That's what Jericho did for me. Even after he found out what I am, it didn't matter. He still cared for me, he valued me. He kept me safe from the Institute too. There were too many people for a courser to even try and get me.” Rain nodded, hoping Indara was too invested in her story to feel the steady stream of urine Rain was currently sending into her diaper. “So you help him, a murderer, because he was nice to you?” “Is that any different from you with Miles? He’s a killer, Rain. So is Gabriel of the Brotherhood, so is that ghoul. So are you. We murder those we are convinced are wrong, evil, and we convince ourselves that we're right. Jericho saved me, gave me a home, and I helped him in return. Even when he sent me away to be his general and I knew I would only see him on rare occasions. It didn't matter. I was useful to the only person who mattered to me. In time, I even found others to care about and who cared about me in return.” Rain didn't like want she was saying, but she couldn't really argue either. There had been several times, countless hours where she had questioned the morality of what she was doing, but the people she killed were clearly bad, threats to innocent people. It wasn't the same. But still, she was the same as Indara. Where would she be now if Miles and the others hadn't saved her? “It wasn't just me.” Indara continued. “Take Barnabas. A Super Mutant, a monster. There was no chance for him to be anything else, until Jericho saved him. Hudson is the same, a man with few skills beyond violence, and a temper to boot. We were all outsiders and freaks, and he brought us together, gave us something bigger to fight for.” Rain understood this too. Really, Miles was the same. He had brought together an unlikely team, united by a desire to right the wrongs of the world. Miyuki, Tali, Gabe, Rocco, even Rain herself, were damaged in some way, or stood out from the crowd of normal people. “Why are you telling me this?” Rain asked. Indara shrugged. “I don't know. I guess I just wanted someone to know. When you're something that's made, I guess…..I guess I just wanted someone to know who I am, so that I can be remembered as a real person, if that makes sense.” Rain wasn't sure how to respond. Indara seemed very concerned with the idea of her identity, on being a real person rather than an artificial one. What could she say that could reassure her? “I'm afraid, Rain. I feel like something bad is going to happen. I want to tell you everything will work out, that you and I will make it back to our respective leaders. Maybe we'd even call each other friends one day. But……when it comes to Jericho and Miles, nothing can be that simple, and more often than not, the wrong people get hurt. So let’s just stay like this for a little while. Please?” Rain didn't say anything, she just nodded and tried to relax. She didn't know how to feel. The Indara she had seen in Miles’ memories was capable of ruthless cruelty, and her first encounter with the general had reinforced that image, but she also seemed so vulnerable and full of doubt. Rain curled closer to her captor. She was having a harder time viewing her as an enemy. “Indara? Do you have a heartbeat?” She was curious, but she didn’t know why. “Why don't you find out, little one?” She laid her head against Indara’s chest. After a moment she heard the rhythmic sound of a beating heart. Was it real? Did it matter? Just because Indara was made of different parts, did that mean she wasn't a person? Or was her ability to feel what made her real, as real as anyone Rain had met before? “Indara……I wanted to tell you I was wrong before. When I called you a monster. If I make it out of this, I would be happy to call myself your friend.” Her words struck the synth hard. Her face seemed to crumble, and a smile broke free. Indara leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. Then they just sat there together for some time, away from their troubles and uncertain tomorrow's. For a short time, nothing else seemed to matter. “Stay awake, okay? We…….we still have to…..change that diaper.” Indara said shakily. And Rain felt suddenly……tears hitting her face. She looked up astounded. Indara was actually crying. How could a machine cry? “What's wrong? Don't cry, please don't, you'll make me cry.” Rain begged, feeling tears already welling up in her eyes. She didn't cry much longer, but it was jarring to see such a woman so upset. “I just want to go home. I wish it hadn't been you I was told to capture. I don't see the reason for it, why he wants you, I don't understand. His fight isn't with you, so why? Why did he ask me to do this?” Rain was fearful too. She wanted to go home as well. She wanted to do Miyuki’s hair again, play cards with Rocco and Gabe. She wanted Tali to read to her and hold her until she fell asleep. She wanted to shoot with Miles again and ask him about his adventures. More than anything she wanted them all to be together, safe and happy and laughing. Indara composed herself at last. “Sorry. Enough of this mopey crap, it's not like me. Let me change that diaper for you. Maybe you noticed, but I'm pretty good at that too.” Rain let herself be laid on the bed, her face warming as Indara prepared a new diaper. She shouldn't have been so embarrassed. She had been changed by so many people it shouldn't have been such a big deal. Besides, it struck her that maybe Indara needed this right now. The synth took her time with this change. Rain laid quietly, her heart hammering in her chest, while Indara thoroughly cleaned her up, before laying her down on a new diaper. The powder came next, and the smell brought another small smile to the synth’s lips. She taped up the diaper nice and snug, nodding proudly at her handiwork. “There we are. Look at that. You're just too cute, you know that?” Rain raised an eyebrow. “That sounds suspiciously like baby talk. Still, I guess my diapers came in handy at last. I doubt you'd be treating me this nicely otherwise.” For whatever reason, Indara seemed to find that quite funny. She began laughing, quietly to herself at first, and louder as time went on. Then Rain started laughing too. She didn't know why, but she laughed so hard she felt tears forming in her eyes. “Don't say that.” Indara laughed. “I mean, you're probably right. They give you a kind of vulnerability, I guess. But it's you too. You have an innocence about you that's incredible for the wasteland. I lost whatever shred of innocence and naivety quickly once I came to the surface, but it's still there with you. It makes you seem genuine.” Rain almost snorted when she laughed. “What are the odds? Me, a girl stuck wearing cutsie adult diapers, getting captured by a nanny-bot…….courser…….person.” Indara looked thoughtful for a moment. “Or maybe……it’s just because you are very cute, and my original programming has nothing to do with it.” Rain shrugged and batted her eyes. “I guess we'll never know.” * There was several more days of travel. Indara’s men seemed to harbor a healthy fear of their captive after she had brutally killed three of their friends. Outwardly, Indara maintained a cold facade on the road, but she spent most nights talking with her captive. For her part, Rain tried not to worry too much about what would happen at the end of the road. One night, Indara seemed different, deep in thought. She didn't stay after changing her prisoner, although she promised to return. Rain shrugged and climbed into bed. She was tired out after the day's walk anyway. She was both surprised and strangely relieved that Miles hadn't found her yet. What she didn't want was for Indara to have to fight her friends. After putting her thoughts aside, she fell asleep pretty quickly. She dreamed that Miles came to save her, and after Rain explained the situation, he forgave Indara for her part in the massacre of the Regulators and asked her to join them. Indara accepted of course. The next girl's night found her joining Tali and Miyuki. They all had a great time together, although the dream had begun to fade by then so it was hard to tell what they had done. “Wake up, Rain. Hurry, we gotta move quick.” Rain opened her eyes to find Indara changing her diaper at an almost mechanical pace. She wasn’t sure what the rush was, but it was definitely the quickest diaper change she had ever gone through. “What's up? It feels too early to get up. What's the rush?” Surprisingly, Indara shoved her bag at her. “I'm letting you go. Right now. You'll only have a few moments. I sent the guard on duty on a patrol, told him I thought I heard something, so you'll need to hurry. If you go southeast for about 10 miles, you should find your friends. They've been following closely.” “Won't you get in trouble?” Rain asked as her skirt was pulled up. Indara took her by the hand and drug her along, her head on a swivel in case they were discovered. Finally, she opened a door leading outside. “Nah, I'll be fine. Shit happens and you got away. Jericho will understand.” Rain hesitated for a moment before wrapping Indara in a hug. “Thank you so much. I know it's weird but…..I had a good time hanging out with you.” The synth stroked her hair and have her another hug. “Go. Get back to the people who love you. I'm planning on doing the same. If you're ever up north, stop by okay? I promise I'll only baby you a little bit.” “I will. I promise. Until the next time.” With that Rain took off, quietly and quickly, making her way back to her friends with a big smile on her face. Indara stood and watched her go, giving a small wave, until she finally faded into the distance. * An hour later Indara was “woken” to the news that their prisoner had escaped. Her guys seemed afraid she would punish them, and were relieved when she waved it off. “You all saw what she did to those guys that attacked her. Who knows what else she can do. I was worried a small door wouldn't hold her. Hell, maybe she picked the lock, I don't know.” “We're going after her right?” one of her men asked. Indara pretended to consider it. “No. We're low on supplies as it is. We don't have the time to going rutting through the wasteland again. We'll just have to tell Jericho she slipped away.” As if to mock her decision, she saw a runner approaching from the south. He looked exhausted, and she knew right away he wasn't one of hers. “Miss Indara! I'm glad I finally found you. Jericho’s here looking for you. He sent scouts out in all directions.” She felt it again, a sense of dread. Taking a moment to keep her face blank, she finally responded. “Jericho is here. Where?” “Actually, it looks like we passed you, he's a few miles south.” South. Where Miles and his crew were. Where she had just sent Rain to not but an hour ago. She wondered if her artificial heart was beating faster, or if her anxiety was showing. She had sent that girl right into the heart of the conflict. “Okay. Well our prisoner just escaped south. Let's go. Maybe Jericho will have seen her.” She signaled to her soldiers. “Let's get moving guys! Jericho is near by!” Those two were on a collision course, and she feared what would happen if they weren't stopped. * “Captain, I hate to shit in your coffee here, but we've been travelling for day with no sign of Indara or her scouts.” Rocco said, waving himself with his fedora. “I hate to say it, but we're lost. We've even been travelling at night and still we're no closer than when we began.” Tali shot him a dirty look. “So what? We have to keep looking. We can't just leave her to Thorne. She didn't give up on you when you were stuck in that ghoul tunnel.” He stuck up his hands in a calming gesture. “Hey, I'm not saying we give up. I don't know. We could try and radio Gabe if he's in range, but we got no idea where we're going here. How long before we follow Indara right into Jericho’s waiting hands?” Miles turned on him. “That doesn't matter. Listen to me. If Jericho gets his hands on Rain, he will kill her. He'll either shoot her in the head and leave the body for us to find, or he'll burn her alive like he's done to countless other enemies. Do you understand? He's an animal, a murdering psychopath. So we don't stop until she's back safe with us, got it?” “Yeah, I got it. So where are we headed?” “Same way as usual. We're bound to find something if we keep at it, some clue that we're close. That or Gabriel will find them first. We won't accomplish anything just standing here, so let’s go.” They kept moving for about a mile or so, but it all looked the same. The same dead city and ruined buildings, eerie in it's lifelessness. Miles hated to admit it, but Rocco was right. They lacked the numbers to be able to search a city this big effectively. If they had Mr. Happy with them, he could have searched quickly, all day and night if need be. As it was, there were so many places to hide, and far too much territory to check. It was becoming more and more apparent that they might not find Rain in time. That was when they got lucky. They heard a crackle from their radio’s and froze in place. It was Gabriel, but it was so distorted, he must have been only just in range.” “Eye on Indara…….meeting with…….looks like……going the opposite……..heading south?” “South? She's heading toward us? Why?” Tali asked. “Gabe, do you see Rain with her? Gabe?” The radio came to life, but the signal was too unsteady to understand. Tali and Rocco looked worried, but at least they had a direction. It looked like the fight was coming to them. Sure enough they finally ran into a group about two miles later. The group however, seemed too small to be Indara’s. There were only twenty, maybe thirty of them at most. Miles had the team stay out of sight and wait. Something was off. If this was Indara’s group, then Gabe should have been in range of their radio's, but that wasn't the case. The confusion was cleared up the second Miles saw a familiar figure shouting orders. It was him. Jericho Thorne. Right here, only a few feet away. It was unbelievable. What mad notion brought him here, Miles didn't know, but this….this was the chance of a lifetime. “Who is that?” Tali asked. She had never seen him before so it was understandable. Miles could feel his heart pounding at the sight of his target. It had been five years since he had last seen him in person, but he had seen Jericho every day, every waking moment, every nightmare, for years. Now he was here. “Thorne….” He managed to say in almost a growl. He could barely contain the rage that threatened to consume him. He stood and began to move forward, not even noticing Tali grabbing his arm. “Wait, wait! What about Rain?!” Miles couldn’t be stopped, couldn’t think straight. “It doesn’t matter. We kill Thorne and this ends today. We won't get another chance, we have to move now!” “If we attack Thorne, Indara might kill Rain. We don’t know where she is. It's too much of a risk. Miles, stop!” He was already running ahead, his guns at the ready. Nothing was going to stop him. Not when he was so close.

Chapter Three I awoke to the sun streaming in through the blinds. I curled back under my covers, cradling my blankie – with the vain hope of catching some more shut eye. That idea quickly died when I felt the rumble of a large truck outside our home. I yawned and stretched as I made my way to the front of the house. I opened the front door a crack. Dad, Katoa and several other young men were standing in the yard, watching a flatbed truck unload a large shipping container. Dad undid the large lock on the door, and started directing the men to unload our belongings. “Who do we have here?” A young woman’s voice caused me to jump into the air. She must have entered through the garage. “D-D-Dustin.” I managed to squeak out. “Huelo.” “Excuse me?” “That’s my name.” “Oh!” I felt my face turning red. “You are such a cutie. Running around in just your diaper.” She grinned. “And I think you need a change.” Why didn’t Dad leave me in my clothes? Ugh. “I should be ok for now, when Dad gets back in he can change me.” “I don’t know, you’re sagging pretty heavily.” She put her hands on my shoulders. “Come, I’ll help you get changed.” “But-“ “No buts. Don’t worry, I’ve helped out at the junior school for three years now. You don’t have anything that I haven’t seen before.” I was extremely worried about being alone with someone other than my Dad. He’d given me all kinds of warnings about that. I looked at her beautiful round face, deep into her dark brown eyes. She knelt in front of me when she saw that I made no movement towards my bedroom. “I know you’re worried, but you can trust me. I’m just going to get your diaper changed and help you get dressed.” “Promise?” She nodded as we interlocked pinkies. I would have felt better if Dad was close by but I didn’t want to bother him. I climbed up onto the changing table. “You look a lot like Katoa.” “He’s my older brother.” “How large is your family?” “There are eight siblings. Five boys and three girls. Katoa is the second eldest, I’m the third youngest.” “Wow.” I twiddled my thumbs as she untaped my wet diaper. She had been right – I probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer. “Are they all here helping?” “Yes, except for the twins. They’re out shopping for the upcoming school year with their mamma. They’re only a few years older than you.” I preoccupied myself with a spot on the ceiling as she cleaned, powdered and creamed my crotch. “Lift your hips, please.” I helped her out as she taped an extra thick diaper around my waist. She held out her hand, and I took it. She was quite strong for being so pretty. “Let’s find you something cute to wear.” Huelo went through my suitcase and found a sea green t-shirt and shorts. She laid the shirt on my bed and then had me step into the shorts just like a little kid. A normal kid would have been offended by the idea but Dad always helped me get dressed when he could. *** The next several hours involved emptying boxes full of books, pictures, kitchen utensils, hats, paintings and other keepsakes. Dad, Katoa, and his siblings handled all the heavy lifting. The couches, dressers, television and other big items. “Dustin, can you come here for a minute?” I heard Dad call from the other side of the house. When I walked in I found him and Katoa standing next to my bed frame. “The dumb moving company lost the bolts to assemble your frame.” “And I doubt any hardware store carries that kind of bolts.” I immediately saw where this conversation was heading. “I wouldn’t mind getting a crib.” Both Dad and Katoa looked at one another. Dad raised his eyebrows in surprise. “You sure?” I nodded. “Also, I’ve talked to Huelo. She’s going to be our housekeeper. Be sure to be on your best behavior around her.” “No problem, Dad. She seems nice.” We took a break and ordered some pizza. I somehow managed to get sauce on my shirt. Dad quietly remarked that he needed to get me some supplies. “Here you go, little man.” Katoa handed me a napkin. I blushed and tried my best to wipe the stain away. Giving up, I threw it into the corner with the rest of the dirty laundry and grabbed my last clean t-shirt. Katoa and his siblings departed after lunch as the crate was completely empty. Huelo offered to stay and continue emptying and sorting our stuff. I waved to her as Dad ushered me towards the car. I climbed into the back seat where the built in booster seat was and buckled myself in. Our first stop was a furniture store. We toured all different kinds of cribs built for teens. I eventually chose one made of white palm. I didn’t mind the dinosaur, superhero or sports themed beds, I just preferred something a little more plain. Dad paid for express delivery. We didn’t have to buy any mattresses as the ones from my old bed would fit perfectly. Next was the clothing store. Once again I found myself in just a diaper being measured by the store staff. I picked out a few onesies with various designs: teddy bears, anchors, dogs & cats. They came paired with different pairs of short alls – blue, black and tan. Dad picked up a sailor suit as well as some pairs of elastic short shorts. The staff were even kind enough to change my diaper as all the attention caused me to empty my bladder. When I was back into my clothes, Dad lifted me back into the shopping cart basket. We made our way through the various aisles. I noticed a few teenagers in harnesses being escorted by a large adult. I tried not to stare. “That’s a good idea for when my arms get tired of pushing the stroller.” I heard Dad whisper to himself. Soon the cart was full with several packs of youth diapers, swim diapers, wipes, lotions, clothes, baby bottles, sippy cups, pacifiers, and two small harnesses. Dad paid for it all and the clerk loaded everything in the trunk of our car. Dad even tipped him. “I thought we didn’t have a lot of money.” “My department gave me a stipend for all the moving costs.” Dad ruffled my hair. “There’s nothing to worry about.” He buckled me back into the booster seat and we drove towards the ocean. “Why are we heading to the beach, Dad?” “Well, after Katoa told me how much fun you had with him, I decided I wanted to find out for myself.” “But I didn’t bring anything!” I whined. “Relax, our swim stuff is in the trunk with your supplies.” We parked and I hurriedly unbuckled myself from the booster seat. Dad grabbed a large backpack from the trunk and we made our way to the boys changing hut. Moments later I was back in a swim diaper and Dad was sporting a speedo like most of the other guys on the beach. We locked the backpack in the provided lockers next to the lifeguard station. Soon Dad and I were playing in the waves. I laughed as he tossed me high into the air. The water was crystal clear and the temperature was perfect. Hours passed as we frolicked among the waves, built sand castles, and worked on our tans. I fell asleep on the sand listening to the sound of the ocean. I didn’t even remember being carried back to the hut and being put in a fresh diaper. Or being carried to the car. Huelo helped unload all the supplies while Dad carried me inside. The furniture guys came moments later. I got a lot of complements as they assembled my crib while Dad gently rocked my sleeping frame. Huelo quietly told him that she had gone grocery shopping for the both of us while we were at the beach. He wordlessly thanked her. The foreman then came out back several minutes later, telling him my bed was ready. They had gone above and beyond by making my bed after assembling the crib with my mattresses. They watched as my Dad gently laid me down and tucked me in. He handed me my blankie and I didn’t even stir. The foreman asked if he could take a picture of me for the company and my Dad gave his permission. Little did I know how that decision would impact my reputation at school. To Be Continued

67.) "Hi!" Anni crawled up onto the sofa next to her new sister, the girl who functionally had no name for now, and handed her a crayon and a coloring book with a smile. "I'm gonna watch Dora." Basically, in Anni speak, I'm going to watch television now, so you be quiet and color. Yes. Anni saw her as a younger sister. "…okay…" I passed her the little pink remote and played nervously with my fingers. I kept looking up at the kitchen. I kept shaking. Why wasn't she following me? Why wasn't she punishing me? Why wasn't she making me drink the bottle? Fuck, fuck, fuck… I got to my feet before I could think clearly about it and stormed back into the kitchen. I'd just keep yelling at her… "Oh, hello, Little Miss." Marta was on the floor, cleaning up the broken plate and the broken cookies with the duty appropriate for a maid. "Is there something I can get for you? I'm afraid there was an accident with the cookies, earlier, but I could cook you something else if you're hungry." "I… I wanna speak with Nora…" It wasn't getting any worse. The neediness distracted me from the memories. From the thoughts. It wasn't that bad, actually. But I just… was so thirsty. My body ached… I just wanted some milk… but it would fade. These things faded… right? "Y-you should g-get her… or… or I'll break something else…" "Oh, I don't think you'll do that. Would you like your milk, now? I put it back away in the refrigerator, but I can fetch it for you if you like, you only need to ask." Asking was important, in this stage. Though she'd force punishment upon Josie without issue, making her ask for childish things would help the most. "I don't want the stupid milk," I muttered, leaning against the wall. I just wanted the stupid milk! Why didn't she just make me have the milk! "Nora… I wanna see her…" "When she's available." This bitch was driving me crazy! "F-fucking get her! I mean it!" Marta sighed and brushed her hands on her pinafore, shaking her head. "If you'd like your milk, you'll have to ask for it. But now I'm going to need to soap your mouth, Little Miss, because you used bad words again, words that no little girl your age ought to be using." She wouldn't have to go far, either, there was a hand-soap dispenser by the kitchen sink. "…I don't want the damn milk!" …why was she making this so hard? I shook my head and, again, left the kitchen. I didn't go into the living room, though. I went down the hall - the other hall - toward the office and Nora's bedroom. I slammed open the office door first, but Nora wasn't in there. I thought she was working? I went to the bedroom next. Marta took Josie’s shoulder from behind and spun her around in place in the hall, and with her other hand, pushed the teat of the bottle between her lips, the milk flowing the moment she up-ended the bottom. Not that The Lady of the House would be disturbed; she was in her room, yes, but the door was locked and she was a remarkably deep sleeper. But Josie needed to know where her limits were. I didn't mind. It was what I wanted. I was acting out so she'd do exactly this. So I could have the bottle and keep my pride. But the bottle tasted so good, and Marta didn't let me off the wall. My eyes shined glossy and half-closed, sucking the nipple. I reached up to take the bottle myself, but Marta slapped my hand away. My knees were starting to feel weak…. "You didn't have to act out, Little Miss, you can have your milk whenever you like it, you only need ask." She was hungrily sucking it down, too, but she hadn't eaten in some time so that was to be expected. When she'd finish this bottle, Marta would move her to the living room, and then give her another to nurse with while she watched television. I whimpered, wiggling against the wall. I tried to get out between Marta and the bottle, but she kept me in place. So I stayed there, my hands at my sides, sucking. And sucking. Until the dizziness grew. Until I could barely stand, and then I literally couldn't. My knees gave out, but Marta caught me in her arms. I leaned on her quietly, a blush on my cheeks. The bottle was almost gone… "L-lemme go…" "Shh, Little Miss, finish your baba, and Miss Marta will take you to watch some pretty cartoons and give you another baba, won't that be nice? It will be nice, so very nice." Of course, once in the living room, the girl would be changed into a proper diaper, with the training panties pulled on over the top, but by then she very likely wouldn't even notice. Marta held me up against the wall until the bottle was gone. I was full. I didn't want anymore. I forgot about this part, about the difficulty thinking, about not being able to walk. I could crawl if I focused, but Marta refused to let me onto the ground. She was making damn well sure I didn't think this bottle was a reward. Marta was not a large woman, but she was strong enough to pick up Josie in her arms, propping her against her hip, and carrying her down the hall back toward the living room. One hand reached into her pinafore and produced a pacifier, a pacifier she pushed between Josie’s lips as she carried her. Foggy as she may be, she was so much calmer now, so much more serene. I sucked on the pacifier until Marta put me on the floor in the living room. I sat upright just fine, rubbing my eyes clumsily with my hands. Anni still sat on the sofa, watching TV. Marta disappeared into the other room and I pulled myself to my hands and knees. Shakily, I crawled over to the couch, but I'd only just made it when Marta pulled the pacifier from my lips. "I want to talk t-" A fresh bottle was pushed into my mouth and instinctively and immediately I sucked on it. I wasn't even thirsty! But I couldn't help it… This time, Marta allowed Josie to hold her own bottle, though she knew very well that she would not be removing it from her lips, which made it easy to do what she needed to do. As with most rooms in this area of the house, there was a tall, thin closet set into the wall, and from that, Marta fetched a diaper and powder. She returned to the girl on the floor and motioned to the television. "Watch Dora, Little Miss." "…not… w-wearing…" I sucked at the bottle nervously, trying to roll over, to swat at the woman while she lifted my dress. "…not a… baby… not wearing…" I blinked the cloudiness away, but it came rushing back. I couldn't help myself. Stupid bottle! Stupid milk! "Watch the television, Little Miss." Josie was pliable in body as she was in mind, and Marta had little trouble with pulling down the training panties to her ankles, fitting the diaper into place with ample powder, taping it up, and then tugging the already-padded underwear back up to act as a diaper cover. "Just a little extra padding for comfort, Little Miss. Doesn't that make sense?" "…stupid…" I muttered, but my eyes were watching Dora and my lips were busy drinking. When Marta left me alone, I didn't motion to lower my dress. I didn't try to cover up the diaper or take it off. I'd forgotten about it. And when the bottle was gone, I was so exhausted and flat that I couldn't even imagine moving. I just stayed there, watching TV. In this state, Luzy was an infant to Anni's toddler, and after Marta went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner, it was only the two girls left alone. And Anni took it upon herself to take care of her new baby sister, sitting with her and babbling to her about Dora, and about how it worked, and yelling at the television when prompted to by the animated little girl.

Fine. Ya’ll win. ———————— Chapter 35 and 1/2 Becky kept one eye on Jamie and one eye on the woman. Becky had never played a prank in her life. She’d been a wonderfully behaved child, partly by nature and partly because she was afraid of her mother. “So what happens now,” she asked Ella. ”We wait for her to get up.” ”How long?” ”How am I supposed to know?” Ella could tell Becky was a noob at mischief. “This isn’t going to hurt her, is it?” ”Might.” The woman stood and tried to step off the bench and out from under the picnic table. Ella had tied the laces as close together as she could. The woman wobbled, losing her balance and falling back sideways off the bench like a felled giant. Ella burst into laughter and Mel followed suit. Amanda smiled but didn’t laugh, and Becky looked half happy and half worried. ”You think she’s okay,” Becky asked as the littles the woman was with had a good laugh. If only she’d done a better job teaching them empathy. She was stuck, her ankles still caught under the table, twisting around until her friend got to the other side and helped her. When the woman stood up, she gave the little boys a look that silenced them, and they appeared to be denying any wrongdoing. The woman looked around. ”You think she suspects us,” Becky asked. ”if she doesn’t, she’s gonna,” Ella replied. ”Why?” ”Hey! Fuck you!” ”Ella! What’d you do that for? She’s coming over.” ”Ya gonna let anything happen to me?” ”Of course not.” Becky shifted Ella into her lap. Amanda shifted so she was facing away from their table, ready to get up. The woman stopped ten feet away. “Do you know what your little did!?!” ”Um, what’s that,” Mel asked. ”She tied my shoes together! I could have been hurt, badly!” ”Huh,” Amanda said. “I did hear her say “fuck you,’ but in fairness to her, she probably learned that from me, back when I said. Remember that?” Becky felt at a loss. She wasn’t one of these young kids who grew up online and were fluent in sarcasm. She didn’t feel in control of the situation. The woman felt at a similar loss and decided to ignore the younger woman, turning to Becky, who had an arm around Ella’s middle. “Well, are you going to punish her?” ”We’ve not established that she did anything,” Amanda interjected. ”Did you tie her shoes together,” Mel asked Ella. ”Yep,” Ella answered. “Sure did.” ”Why did you do that,” Mel continued. ”Because it pleased me to do it.” There was no sarcasm in that answer. Even Amanda and Mel found that answer a little off putting. The woman appeared to fume. “Young lady, if you were my little ...” ”She’s not,” Becky said as she found her voice, “and I don’t need advice from someone who hits littles, so go fuck yourself.” The woman ground her teeth but turned on her heel and walked away. ”Did you ever see a show called Deadwood,” Ella asked Becky. “I think you’d like it.” She was sure Becky would hate it, or more likely not be able to process littles behaving that way. ”I’m not sure which of us behaved worse,” Becky said, “her or us.” None of the rest of them had any such doubts. ”She hurt Jamie’s feelings because she’s prejudiced,” Mel replied. ”And she hits her littles,” Amanda added. ”So we said some dirty words and made her feel unwelcome,” Ella added. “She should feel unwelcome. Fuck that shit.” Becky felt outnumbered. She knew all they had done was make themselves feel better and ruin the woman’s day. They certainly hadn’t changed a mind, and they probably made the situation worse for those two little boys. She didn’t want to argue the point, though, not over her.

66.) I woke up in the blue walled room. I remembered it now. The room I played in when I was acting small, when everything else was bigger. I sat up on the bed and looked down at myself. I still wore the same stupid dress from the night before, wrinkled with the way I had laid down. The padded MLP underwear were still underneath - I could feel them with each step as I made my way to the door. I opened it and nearly bumped right into Marta. My lips curled down in a frown. "You don't have to babysit me." "One doesn't have to see the sunset every day, either — it does not mean that one wouldn't enjoy it, Little Miss." Marta smiled politely and allowed Josie to step past her; the program started with autonomy, then reduced autonomy, then complete and utter dependence, and then goals would be set from there. For now, she'd be allowed to walk around the house, though Marta would follow. "I can pee on my own," I said and slammed the door in Marta's face. I stepped up to the mirror and sighed, looking at myself. I looked older than I remembered. Maybe I was remembering when I was little. Were there mirrors, then? Were there mirrors in that apartment? I touched my cheeks and rubbed my eyes. Fuck this… I opened up the cabinet again, looking to see what medicines they left. Bandaids. That was all they had, now. I sighed and shook my head. I needed to just… relax… I needed to calm down… There were precautions taken when new arrivals started here, steps enacted to ensure their safety — and Luzy was one of the reasons why. "Little Miss, would you like to watch some television?" The Netflix on the children’s television set was carefully pruned and curated to only have the things deemed appropriate for a patients’ regression, but giving them the choice of what to watch, even from that curated list, was helpful for the transition. I didn't know what I was going to do. The memories of everything that happened repeated themselves in my head. They played on repeat. I couldn't make them go away, now, could I? Of course not. They were stuck here as long as I was here. But I couldn't die, either. Could I? I came out of the bathroom after pulling the training pants back up, looking at Marta absently as she offered television. "I want to see Nora." "Of course, Little Miss," Marta wasn't to use the girl’s new name just yet, but she was also not to use her old one. Little Miss worked fine. "At the moment, The Lady of the House is busy tending to work.” Actually, she was asleep. “Until she's available, I'd be more than happy to let you watch whatever you like from the television. There may also be some cookies, freshly baked, waiting for you…" "I'm more important than whatever she's doing," I said flatly, and walked past Marta toward the living room. Anni already sat on the floor, playing with blocks, and the television was tuned to Dora the Explorer. I sat on the couch, watching the young girl. "Undoubtably, Little Miss. Once she's no longer indisposed, you'll be able to see her." "Wanna come pway wif me?" That was Anni, playing with her blocks — she missed her sister dreadfully, but knew that soon she'd have another. It was tricky to remember not to call her Luzy, though! And Mommy hadn't told her what Luzy's new name would be yet... "No thank you…" Ultimately, I knew to be nice to Anni. I was angry and lost and scared and broken. I wasn't even human anymore. But I knew not to say mean things to Anni, because Anni's a kid. Maybe that's college training kicking in. Maybe I'm a better person than I think. Either way, I wasn't going to be mean to Anni. "Kaa~aay." Anni resumed her playing, and on the television the animated girl babbled about learning rudimentary Spanish. That left Luzy on the sofa, and Marta handed her the special remote in molded pink plastic with only a handful of buttons. "You're free to watch whatever you like, Little Miss, maybe you might find something to help you pass the time?" I turned the station. Again. Again. Again. I mean, I knew it was Monday morning, but seriously? All kid's shows? I put the remote down, climbing up from the couch, and walking out into the kitchen. Marta was putting cookies on a plate. "I need to see Nora now," I said more directly. "I have school." It was four in the afternoon, and any classes were probably already missed — Nora had already lodged the requisite paperwork, though, but it wasn't Marta's role to discuss that with Josie. So instead, she gave her cookies with a polite smile. "The Lady of the House will talk to you about that once she's available, Little Miss. You should try to relax for now, and just enjoy yourself. What would you like to do? Would you like to draw? Or perhaps build legos? That was Miss Ister's favorite past time." I threw the plate of cookies at the tile floor. The ceramic plate split off into a lot of pieces, cascading against the tiles. The cookies rolled around until they settled, ruined, on the ground. The crash rang longer than it took the plate to break, and I looked up at Marta, taking deep breaths. "Get. Nora. Or. I'm. Leaving." Marta didn't think too much of the aggression, and she simply smiled at Josie and turned back to the refrigerator, took two bottles out: a baby bottle, and a spray bottle. Both were filled with the same creamy white liquid. The milk. Instead of trying to coerce the girl to drink, she simply raised the spray bottle and misted Luzy's lips with the milk. Which seemed to catch Josie by surprise, and she gasped, her mouth opened, and Marta sprayed again. "What the fuck is your problem?!" I reached for the spray bottle, snatching at the maid, but she stepped backward out of my reach. I put my hands on the counter and shook my head, wiping my face with the side of my arm. My lips tingled… "I SAID GET NORA!" I was yelling now, really yelling, but my chest felt tighter, like I couldn't get the right amount of air. I shook my head slowly. The maid sprayed Josie’s face again, and continued to do so each time she yelled and protested, little droplets of milk working away at her resolve like erosion against the cliffs. "Little Miss, The Lady of the House is currently unavailable. Wouldn't you prefer to lay on the sofa and watch some television, while you drink your baba? It's full, see? Full and creamy." I closed my eyes and my mouth, shaking my head. Everything felt heavy. I licked my lips without thinking, and whimpered a little. I finally looked up at the woman with frustration plastered across my face. "…y-you're an idiot… I'm not a fucking child…" But my volume was lower. I couldn't keep my eyes off the bottle… "…you didn't curse did you, Little Miss? Because if you cursed, I'll have to put the bottle away and get some soap instead, and soap your mouth out, Little Miss." By now, having licked her lips, Luzy was on rails and she'd do anything for the milk, but that didn't mean Marta couldn't have some fun. "It's such a shame, too, you've been asleep for some time, Miss, and I might have let you have two bottles." "N-not… th-thirsty…" I turned away from Marta, away from the bottle, and walked back to the living room. My fingers shook. My hands shook, actually. I sat down on the couch and looked up at the door to the kitchen. Marta didn't follow me. I didn't feel good. I didn't need a bottle. I was a grown up. But… but… I wiggled uncomfortably on the sofa. I couldn't think clearly…

I'd actually recommend Protonmail. It's Swiss based and encrypted. The free version has 500 MB of storage but the paid plans offer more and other bells/whistles. Best thing is their revenue comes from paid plans, not advertising.

Been suicidal most of my life and recently upgraded to severely suicidal due to some BS going on this past 3.5 years let me say this DONT blame yourself DONT doght yourself . If someone alredy decided to take this step theres nothing anyone really can do besides the exact steps you have takend with youre other friend. I understand how you might feel guilt but again as i said you have done everything right and there isent more you could have done have done. IF on the other hand someone comes at you while still alive with hints or notes that said person is ready to leave / suddenly withdrawn /sad /depressed and so on THEN if you are said persons friend and also know that you can and are willing to deal with this contact said person or as you have done contact the proper authorities or there GF /Wife /parents What most sucidals are in need of is someone that are willing to help and LISTEN and try to understand them.

There was a thread on this quite recently: https://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?/topic/68963-a-permanent-baby/ I'm a bit hard line on this one: it's ALWAYS the responsibility of the ABDL to own their situation. If they have a partner who can and wants to help out then great but even then, walking away from adulthood 24/7 is far from fair on the remaining partner who then must carry the load.

Free members can send messages, just 5 or 10 a day to prevent spamming. And we don't block the sending of contact info to take the conversation off site.

I don't pay for sites so I quit diapermates and any other sites that are not free.

Chapter Two Dad finally walked over to where Katoa was watching. “Do you think you can watch Dustin? I need to head in to work and make sure my office is squared away.” “Shouldn’t be a problem. Lelani will be just fine.” “Who?” “Your kid. Lelani means ‘Redhead’ in our tongue.” “Dustin’s going to love that nickname.” Dad smiled as he walked up to me. I squeaked as he put a finger down my elastic shorts. “You startled me!” “Just checking your diaper.” “Guess I need to get used to that.” I glanced at the other boys, several of whom were being ushered into a small building next to the parking lot by their parents. I imagined large changing tables were inside. Many of the kids were missing shirts, pants, or were in just diapers. Dad nodded. “Son, I need to go to the office to make sure I have all my appointments and paperwork in order. You could come with me, but Katoa has agreed to watch you while I’m gone. I promise I’ll be home later in the evening.” Dad only called me Son when he was serious. “But I thought we were going to have a fun father-son day.” I pouted. “I know, but the sooner I get this done, the more time we have to play together before school starts.” “Are you sure it’s okay to leave me with him?” “Katoa and I have worked for many years together. Remember, you can always call me at work if you need to talk.” I was still nervous at being separated, but it couldn’t be helped. The three of us piled back into the car and we drove back to our new home. Katoa and I were dropped off and Dad drove away, but not before promising once again to me that he’ll be back home as soon as possible. “You hungry, little man?” “A little.” I had been playing hard, and worked up an appetite. “Come, we’ll walk to the beach. It’s not far, and there are some great food stands. Maybe you can play in the surf.” It was early afternoon, so the weather would be perfect. “I’d love to, but I don’t have a swim suit.” Katoa chuckled. “Most kids your age just wear swim diapers. I’ll buy a pack in your size once we get down there.” I took off my soccer gear and stored it in my closet, along with my school clothes. I grabbed a bright blue t-shirt and pulled it over my head. Shorts, however, were a little more challenging to find. Katoa came to my room. “We need to get going soon, otherwise the lines will be really long.” He saw my expression. “Don’t worry about the shorts. You’ll be taking them off soon anyways. Most kids here have trouble keeping them on, especially in the summer time.” “When in Rome…” I murmured to myself as I made my way to the front door. Katoa reached into the hall closet and pulled out a stroller. Just like with the high chair, I hesitated. “Trust me, you’ll appreciate the rest.” “Okay.” I put my faith in him as I climbed in and buckled myself in. A diaper bag (which my Dad had hastily assembled earlier) resided underneath me. Katoa made sure he locked the front door and we were off! The ride was smooth as Katoa pushed me along the boardwalk. I attracted quite a bit of attention as kids and adults stared at me. I pretended not to notice. The beaches were crowded with families who were using the last of the summer days to soak as much sun as they could. Children built fortresses amongst the sand, and danced in the waves. Lines were already starting to form outside small huts next to the boardwalk, and the smell of barbequed meat filled the air. My mouth began to water. Katoa steered me into a line, and we didn’t have to wait long before he got two large plates of food. He chatted with the vendor in his own colorful native tongue. Soon we found ourselves sitting next to several picnic tables. I started chowing down when the plate was handed to me. “I should have packed a bib in your bag.” Katoa observed. Somehow I had gotten sauce all over my face and shirt. Meh, too hungry to care. He leaned forward and wiped my chin with a spare napkin. “Time to go to the store.” We made our way to a kid’s store, located on the other side of the boardwalk. The clerks there kept glancing in my direction as we perused the diaper aisles. Katoa finally found a pack of swim diapers my size and paid for them at the front register. I endured compliments and waved goodbye as we made our way back to the beach. We followed a small family into the boys changing hut. I had guessed right: A large changing table adorned the back wall. A small supply rack with paid supplies resided on another wall. Showers were located opposite the shelves – and each one was being used by a naked child. Multiple young kids, and even a few teenagers were laying down as a sibling or a family member was busy changing their diapers. I found myself being unbuckled from the stroller and lifted onto the table. I had wet myself on the way to the store, and was glad to be changed. Katoa wiped me down as he gently lifted my legs into the air. A bright red swim diaper made its way up my legs and settled on my hips. Many of the other parents commented about me to Katoa in Panjeese. At least, that’s what I assumed. Katoa set me on the ground and patted my bum. “Ready to play, little man?” “I’d never thought you’d ask.” The next few hours were a blur. I caught and threw Frisbees with many kids. I helped the castle builders erect their masterpieces. I buried myself in the sand a few times. Even danced in the surf along with the others. I was smiling and laughing so much that my face hurt. Especially when a group of teens took turns tossing me into the surf. All while Katoa watched from a small cabana. I felt my stomach began to cramp. When was the last time I used the toilet for a number two? Trepidation shook my soul. I didn’t want to have an accident! I was ten, for goodness sake! But I watched a pair of twin four year old girls made their way to the beach, with a noticeable sag in their swim diapers. Another rumble and I whimpered. How can I override years of potty training? Instinct took over. I immediately crouched in the water and opened the gates of hell. When I was finished, I wiped my eyes. All the fun I was having immediately evaporated as I made my way to shore. Just like the girls I saw. Katoa locked eyes with me, and I saw compassion and understanding. I held on emotionally as long as I could, but I broke down when I reached the cabana. “It’s okay, Dustin. I know it’s not easy for you. Especially with everyone here.” “It doesn’t feel okay.” “Of course it doesn’t. Who likes being in a dirty diaper?” He gently rubbed my back. “Come on, let’s get you changed. We can head back home for now. You’ve had a big day.” I found myself being carried back to the changing hut. I just buried myself in Katoa’s large shoulder. I languished under the shower, as the water was warm. I dried myself off with the towel Katoa offered. “Up you go.” He assisted me once more. My bottom was thoroughly wiped down, cream and powder applied and a fresh Dino diaper graced my waistline. Weariness seeped into my body as I found myself in the stroller. Katoa hummed a popular island tune as he pushed the stroller back home. Dad had just parked his car on the street when we arrived. “All tuckered out?” “Dustin had a big day today.” “Thank you so much for looking after him.” “You’re welcome. He really enjoyed the beach.” “He and I will definitely go tomorrow. After our things arrive. By the way, will your siblings be there to help out?” “Yup. We’ll be at your place at 10am tomorrow.” Katoa waved as he made his way back to the boardwalk. His residence wasn’t a long walk for him, and the weather was still gorgeous. The sky shined with orange and purple highlights as the sun sank below the horizon. Dad wheeled me into my bedroom. “I’m proud of you, Dustin. You’ve been so mature. Most other kids your age would have flipped their lids about having to wear diapers, much less riding in a stroller or eating out of a high chair.” He laid me on my bed. I curled up under my blankets, as if I was making a nest. “I like it here.” Dad kissed my forehead. “Me too.” To Be Continued...

I’m in north east Austin work in round rock

I thought the forums there were well balanced overall with a decent variety. About babyfurs, it seems like it's just some closed minded furries that don't like babyfurs. I personally think that you and the babyfur community are awesome.

Mommydom, babyslace couple in Spring Branch/ San Antonio area Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G935A using Tapatalk

So I took your advice and it worked out! He was in a good mood last night and I told him I wanted to wear diapers at night because I felt like I needed to and he said whatever I want and he loves me with all his heart. So I'm so happy ?? thanks again. Now I can pad and not hide ?

I'm from Texas too! Happy diapering! And I'm new to this too.

What Stroller needs to do is get used to voiding in any position. There is a thread here that states to do same, get into a bath (naked) and try to void in any position. That is consciously trying to affect voiding which is contrary to the autonomic voiding that ABDLs are aiming for. Instead, what one needs to do is wear a thick bulky cloth diaper and plastic pants. That means the diaper can handle everything from a dribble to a complete flood. As a result, the consctious mind will accept not to retain urine and will revert to the automatic voiding process of pre toilet-trained. It is not the sphincters / bladder one has to teach to void, it is the mindset one has to change. The body will adapt. Wetting when laying down (in bed) is all about confidence, and not control. Diapers leak (no matter how good they are)... and one needs to create the situation that a leaky diaper / wet bed is not an issue that causes discomfort. The thicker the diaper (cloth), the less likely it is to leak. Laying on a cotton bed protector that is on top of a mattress protector will ensure that even if you pour a gallon of water on the bed, the mattress will not get affected is a good way to convince the mind that there is no consequences to wetting when laying down. To achieve diaper dependance needs one to remove the issues that triggered the toilet training. Once this is done, the second part will happen almost instantly, while the bladder and bowels will shrink thus ensuring ones need for diapers.

I can’t really remember exact kids, but l do recall overhearing conversations, my mom would have with others on the subject. I had wet the bed till about 6, so it came up from time to time, to my embarrassment. I do vividly recall, my younger cousin, by 2 years being put back in diapers. He was almost fully pottytrained, when due to a family emergency, was put back into diapers, by his mother. She thought, it would be easer when he was being babysat, and looked after by others, to just be in diapers. I remember, he was still wearing those plastic covered terry cloth training pants at 4 years old. I loved catching glimpses of his plastic pants, especially when he had to ask an adult to help him unbutton, and take him to the bathroom. There’s another time, when I was friends with this girl, we were about 10, 11, and sometimes she was forced to look after her younger sister, who was 4. She would come to my house to play, and I would notice her sister, who was obviously in a diaper. She wore thin cotton shorts, and her shirt didn’t come all the way down, so you could see the bulging diaper, and it stuck up over the top of her shorts. I asked my friend ( dumb question ), is she wearing a diaper? But, she only simply answered yes! I didn’t want to push, or seem overly interested, so I didn’t question her further. It did suck when she showed up with her sister though, cause it ment she couldn’t stay and play for long.

There are two bowel sphincters - one autonomic and one under trained control. The autonomic releases when there is something in the bowels. The trained one stays closed until pressure and/or one releases same. Diet controls the effectiveness of these... ie more liquid diet = less ability to retain bowels. Nerve and/or muscle damage effects ones ability to control ones bowels as bowel control is about retention - delaying when to void. One cannot stop voiding... it will happen AND most people are somewhat aware of the process. One can ignore it and let it happen (similar to breathing) OR try and fail to prevent it. In my case, both sphincters open at the same time. When I am awake, I am aware of the body pushing, but can do nothing to stop messing. Asleep, the pushing does not wake me. If I change my diet - harder stool, the voiding becomes uncomfortable. More liquid = diapers can't contain the mess. Bowel incontinence can be managed - 1. Enemas and/or forced bowel evacuation. Problems include possible damage to bowel wall; weeping mucus and/or liquid; diaper rash from liquid; messy diaper 2. Diet to harden stool. Problems include cramps; lethargy; maybe explosive voiding; sore anus; diapers and/or bag as containment. 3. Diet to soften stool. Problems include most diapers cannot gandle that amount of liquid; Usually caustic = diaper rash; Usually high in bacteria = very smelly. Since poop happens, my choice of management is - good diet - keep poop soft; cod liver oil tablets - increase speed and ease of voiding = reduced notification and eliminate visible signs of voiding ( still aware of need to change from the squishy feeling); activated charcoal (to reduce / eliminate the smell). As a result, I mostly make large messes 1 ~ 4 hours after breakfast / evening meal = lunchtime / before putting on night diaper. The small messes are not needed to be dealt with till diaper change (no smell) and a few wipes handle the job. A baby will fill their bowels as the trigger from eating. Once full, they ignore their need as both sphincters open and they void in waves as the pulse of their lower intestines perastatic action cause the bowel to contract. Most people try to delay / prevent this (toilet training) to no avail. Babies sometimes need to push to void due to hard stool and poor diet OR the fact that they are sitting on their anus and that this hole is restricted. Bowel incontinent wheelchair users have this problem which is solved by change of design of their seat. In simple terms, bowel voiding can be managed - how you do that is your choice but every choice does have its downside.