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8. Allies in Demon Fighting This part is so important that I decide we need to loop in Sarah; I grab my computer and Facetime her. It takes a couple tries to get a solid connection, but we finally have everyone “together” at least for a little while. It takes about an hour for me to fill my friends in on even the short version of the story of my recent life, especially with all of the questions creating tangential paths in my narrative, but we pretty much get to now. “Fuck,” Marina says succinctly. “If that thing is real, what the hell are you supposed to do about it? “Good question,” I answer. Maddy has been pretty quiet for a long time, ever since the part of the story where the second floor of Elmdale High came down and buried us alive. Now, she needs to say something. Her face is blanched. “But...it can’t be real, can it?” It comes across as a kind of plea. “This kind of thing just doesn’t happen.” Marina beats me to a response. She’s usually so blunt, but I think she has a soft spot for Madison. I’ve started thinking maybe they’re more than just friends, but I don’t know how to ask things like that. “Hey, Maddy,” she says, “it’s OK. Don’t get all worried about it. Probably it’s something caused by the epilepsy, right?” This last is addressed to me, and I nod my head. “See?” Marina continues. “And even if it’s...something else, we’ll just deal with it. Like we do.” Marina’s words seem to have had the desired effect: Madison seems calmer. I’m not exactly persuaded, though: exactly how does Marina think we can “deal” with him? She doesn’t understand; she doesn’t know what he is. She can’t know, can’t realize what he is capable of. But with Maddy barely able to handle the possibility of a demon, I know this isn’t the time to talk about it. Maybe we’ll find time later. So instead I just go along. “Marina’s right, Maddy. No need to worry now about what might not even be.” Janelle, who clearly isn’t playing by the “deference to Maddy” rules, interjects, “But you believe it’s a demon, don’t you, Carly?” Sarah, mostly listening quietly online, adds, “Can it be a real demon? Like something actually from hell?” The last thing I want here is to lie. Not to my friends. But I need to be careful for the time being. “Well, I believe it,” I say, then quickly add, “but I’m the epileptic mental case who may have imagined the whole thing in the first place.” I laugh, and they join me. Diffused. Good timing, too: Mom knocks on my door to let us know the pizza is here. So we say goodnight to Sarah and out we pile and down to the kitchen. Well, they do; I stay behind to change before following them, calling out for them not to eat all of the pepperoni. “This pizza is infinitely better than the cafeteria stuff,” Janelle is saying as I enter the room and grab a slice. “Is it Dino’s?” “Yep,” I mumble through my full mouth, bringing glares from Mom. “We found Dino’s like the week we moved in. First, we couldn’t believe someone out here made good deep dish. Then we discovered that the thin crust is to die for too.” “Dino’s is the best,” says Maddy, stuffing half a slice of sausage into her mouth. Marina smiles at her and then turns to me. “You probably thought you’d have to eat pizzas with like goat cheese and endive when you came to California.” I laugh. “Not far from the truth, I admit. We actually had a farewell dinner at Lou Malnatti’s. But it turned out to be unnecessary.” Mom smiles, admiring a slice with veggies. “I actually like the Cali pizza too—maybe not goat cheese and endive—but nothing beats the real stuff.” No one answers, but the fact that we’re all stuffing our faces is probably answer enough. ### Madison, by some stroke of fortune, is the first one to fall asleep, and I quietly invite the others to join me in the living room. “She was so nervous,” I say, “that I didn’t want to talk about this before, but I think we do need to proceed on the possibility that it’s real.” Both Janelle and Marina nod in agreement. Marina says, “Actually I think that’s more likely than the other.” “Why?” Janelle asks. She shakes her head. “A feeling, maybe? And the fact that it’s been going on in one way or another so long? I mean you could have had the epilepsy long before you were injured by those bricks, I guess, but still…” “Yeah, I know,” I tell her. “My mom and I both feel that way too. It would be wonderful if we discover that it’s all in my head. I think I’d rejoice. But it just...feels real. And if it wants to target me, well, that makes me afraid for you guys.” Marina seems pensive, but Janelle’s eyes flare black. “Fuck that!” she says. “You’re our friend, and we’re not letting you take this thing on alone.” “You don’t know what it can do. Hell, I don’t know what it can do.” Marina interrupts me. “We know this much: it can infest your mind; it can knock over a school; it can manifest itself; it is vile and hateful and evil; it must be destroyed.” “Amen,” says Janelle. “I’m saying that for Sarah, ‘cause she’s not here.” I feel tears running down my cheeks. I’ve never had friends before. Not like this. Not friends who would fight a demon for me. “I don’t even know how to defeat it,” I tell them. “We’ll think of something,” comes a voice from the stairs, and we all turn to see Maddy standing there. Marina rushes to her. “Maddy! I’m sorry! We thought you were asleep.” “I know,” she says. “And it’s fine. I get it. You wanted to protect me. But I can’t let my fear control me: Carly’s the one who needs protection.” Now all of us are with her; it’s a group hug. I don’t know who says it first, but in seconds we all are: CJM&Ms. We all know what a horrible acronym it is, but it’s like a bond: we’re together in some deeper way than a normal friendship. We’ve only taken a few weeks to reach this point; I have no clue how it’s happened. In my life, anyway, it’s unprecedented. ### The Venice Beach boardwalk is one of the strangest places I have ever been, not that growing up in the midwest has exposed me to a whole lot of world-class weirdness. But still. It’s maybe a mile and a half long and, on a sunny Saturday, so crowded with tourists and crazy vendors and people who just seem to be here to drink in the “vibe” that I’m not quite sure even what to make of it except that half an hour here and I already know that there is probably nowhere on earth like it and probably nothing on earth that you can’t buy here. It took all of ten minutes before a rasta-hat wearing, deeply Island-accented man stopped me and asked, “You like music, girl?” He pronounced it as if the vowel were German: “Goel” as in “Goethe.” Not knowing better, I said I did and was immediately trapped: he was one of dozens of such people, as it turns out, wandering the Walk selling copies of CDs of music they claim is their own (but who knows?). $10 and a CD in hand later, I had learned a valuable lesson: I already knew to be far more careful here. And I have been: it’s been two hours since, and the only money I’ve spent has been on drinks to cut the heat. I’m wearing a hat, but God it’s hot today, even with an ocean breeze. Mom is Somewhere doing Something. She told me when she dropped me off (so rare that she does things like that these days, but so appreciated) where I should meet her at noon for lunch. Meanwhile, I’ve been hunting. My goal, of course, isn’t something I can find in any straightforward way. I need a magic tutor, someone to teach me to wield Magic against the demon. Serious Magic. The kind you might stick an extraneous “k” onto the end of. And it’s not as if I can just wander into a shop and find someone: even here there are things that keep to the shadows. So it’s been a morning of reconnaissance. And people watching. To be honest, maybe a bit more of the latter than the former, but maybe that’s to be expected for my first time here? Seriously: people here are so intensely unusual. Forget the various unnatural colors of their hair; that isn’t even a good starting point for this place. Maybe modes of transportation? Most walk, of course, but I saw some skateboarders, some people on those stupid rolling “hoverboards,” adults wearing heelies, a segway, someone pulling someone else in a wagon, even a unicycle. (I have no clue how much of this is allowed; it is just here.) And there are the physiques: this is California, the land of beautiful people. And of course there are loads of those: the chiseled boys and the actress/model girls. But there are also the others. Take all of the bodies you might find scattered on a fairly crowded beach on a hot day and then jam them onto a wide sidewalk: that’s the Boardwalk. See, they come for both the nearby beach and the Boardwalk, and many of them don’t really differentiate sartorially between the two, if you catch my drift. So it’s not always a pretty sight. But beyond the badly attired tourists, there are the entertainers: fire-breathers, musicians, people making jewelry, a couple of men breaking into some street theatre as I walk past them, a dude with some Beatles puppets performing: all sorts of people! And the musicians too are so varied: folky guitarists, a Jim Morrison clone, someone who might actually be Jewel for all I know (my Mom loves her and this woman is a dead ringer), a guy who actually brought a freaking piano here with him, a rapper, the aforementioned rasta reggae bunch, and others. Small crowds gather around most of them; I feel genuinely sorry for the ones who don’t draw. I’m caught up in all of the madness, but I don’t completely lose track of my goal; I keep my eyes open for any sign of anyone who might help me. All morning long, though, there has been nothing. A handful of head shops I think might take me somewhere turn out that the only place they could take me was for a long, crazy ride into zonerland. Places that make dreamcatchers don’t seem to do much more in terms of understanding even Native American magic, let alone what I’m looking for. And the many shops and carts with skulls and other Day of the Dead type paraphernalia that I think look so promising turn out to be so commercial that they’re probably all owned by one nerdy guy in San Diego. Bottom Line: as noon gets closer, I’m no closer to finding anyone. Mom will be at the little restaurant soon, and it will take a good fifteen minutes to get there, so I decide to give up for now and start walking back, but something catches my eye. It’s a little orange cart tucked so tightly between more ostentatious carts that I almost miss it. I swear there was nothing here when I passed by before; the little black woman running it must have just arrived. She sits behind her wares twisting something into braids while I look at the fairly eclectic set of artifacts atop her display, trying not to give away too clearly what caught my attention, which were three things: some dried flowers, among which I recognized hensbane and wolfsbane, various crystals, and some medallions featuring runic images. All of these are strong Wiccan symbols, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she is a practitioner or that she actually knows the kind of magic I need to learn. Tentatively, I lift one of the medallions, one I had never seen before. It has the rune algiz, the elk—which looks sort of like a fairly stark coat tree with only two arms—in the center, and is surrounded by concentric circles in which are written many other runic letters. The woman behind the cart stops what she is doing. I examine the medallion, which doesn’t seem to have been made recently, unless she gives it that “ancient” look to enhance its value. She’s looking at me now, her expression inscrutable but maybe...concerned? “Dat one is very pohrful,” she says. I look up. Feigning ignorance, I say, “This? Just looked...pretty.” She shakes her head. “No. You know better.” And she fixes me with deep eyes and adds, “You’ve seen.” Then she returns to her braiding. I have no idea how to react to this. How does she know? What does she know? Still holding the medallion, I lean a bit inward, toward where she sits. With speed she had not betrayed before, she puts her braiding down, grabs the dried flowers I noticed when I arrived, and says, “You need dese too.” I just stare. “What...what do you mean?” I ask. “You know,” she says. “When it come again, you be ready. You need be ready.” The whole encounter is starting to feel surreal, but I sense a dismissal coming so I go for broke. “I need a tutor,” I tell her. “Can you—” “No,” she says as she bags the things she is selling me. “But you dohn’t need one. What you need is the knowledge of your haht.” She taps her chest, then hands me the bag. “Dohn’t seek a teacher here. You’ll find none.” I’m shaking my head. “Who are you?” She smiles. “I tink your mudder is waiting.” I look down to pull out my phone and check the time, and when I look up again...she and her cart are both gone.

hi, i love to wet myself night and day in a diaper but sometimes at night i like to wet my bed without a diaper and then go to sleep. does anyone else do this?

Hi there everyone, I really enjoy watching and doing wetting through Skirts/Dresses/Pantyhose, and the last skirt wetting blog dates back to 2009. I would just like to 'get the panties wet again' and add something more up to date.

Here is a 7,000 word commission that I worked with someone on. If you are interested in working with me on a commission, send me a message and we can discuss your ideas. My rate is $15 per 1000 words. _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ “Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention please? I would please ask that, if you see someone sleeping or distracted next to you, could you please nudge them a little bit to get their attention?” came over the intercom on the airplane, prompting everyone who heard it to become anxious. “There is no immediate danger, I just have an announcement to make” the captain used his most disarming tone. Right as the opening bars to his favorite song rang through the headphones connected to his iPhone, Steven felt his neighbor poke him in the shoulder. Taking the earbud out of his left ear, he looked at the lady with annoyance and asked “can I help you?” “Sorry. It’s just, the captain wanted everyone’s attention” the women told him timidly, feeling embarrassed. “Oh great, this ought to be good” Steven told her, the sarcasm dripping from his lips. “Alright folks, just wanted to give you an update on what is happening. Some lights have come on up here in the cockpit that I wasn’t expecting to come on. It seems that there is an issue with our steering. Unfortunately, that means that we are going to have to make an emergency stop in Dallas” the man trailed off as if saying sorry to the passengers. A groan came over the airplane. “Damn it, I just wanted to get home” Steve said to himself, noticing the women who had touched him earlier looked at him with a quizzical look. “I have been in Los Angeles for the last two weeks for work and I just wanna sleep in my own bed.” “I totally get that. I was visiting my grandparents and, after a week with them, I just need to get into my apartment and relax with a bottle of wine” she told him, just trying to exchange small talk. “I could use a drink too. I mean a normal sized one too, not this thing meant for toddlers with a drinking problem” Steven chuckled as he held up a tiny bottle of vodka. The lady returned the chuckle. “I’m Samantha by the way” she extended her hand. Meeting her handshake half way, all he said was “Steven”. After around a half hour of talking about work, life, and their favorite moments from Game of Thrones, the plane had landed and they were ready to get off. They continued to chat on their way off the airplane, much to the annoyance of everyone around them. Once they got back into the airport, they had to head off in different directions. “It was nice to get to know you Samantha” Steve told her, a smile on his face. “Yeah, it was great. This was the most fun plane ride I have been on in a while. Hopefully our paths cross again some time. Especially if it’s after the next season of Thrones comes out” Samantha said with a chuckle. “Have a good one” she said, sticking her hand out for another handshake. He quickly took the handshake and smiled up at her “You too.” Once they finished their goodbyes, Steve want over and grabbed his luggage from the carousel. Satisfied that everything was accounted for, he headed to a group of seats and plopped down. Steven had no idea how long this delay could take. Was it just a couple hours or was this going to be something that was going to stretch into tomorrow? God, he didn’t want that. He just wanted to get home already. “Why, hello there” came from a women sitting next to him. She sounded like she was welcome a kid into her first day of kindergarten. Steven gave her a quick “hi” as he pulled his phone out his pocket. He figured that now was a good a time as any to check his emails. Continuing with that overly sweet tone, she continued the conversation regardless of what the man next to her was doing. “How are you doing today?” Getting slightly annoyed, Steve looked up from his phone and got a good look at the women. She had to be at least 20 years older than him, but she still was one of the most beautiful people Steven had ever seen. Her sandy blonde hair was pulled into a tight ponytail in the back of her head. Other then that, the only thing he noticed was her smile. It was huge and pretty infectious. It made him grow a smile on his face as he answered her with “It’s been ok. Up and down. How about you?” “That is so nice of you to ask how my day is too! My day has been pretty good. Why has your been up and down?” she answered with that same tone. It was so sweet, Steve was surprised there wasn’t sugar falling from her lips. “Well, I’m heading home from LA. I’m glad to be able to be headed home to Florida, but my plane just had an emergency that forced us to land. I am not sure how long I am gonna be stuck here and I just want to be home” Steven told the mysterious women. Even thought he had just met her, she felt so easy to talk to. Like he had known her for a long time. “That’s too bad that your plane had to land. Ironically enough, I am on my way to Florida too. My son and daughter live there and I haven’t visited them in a while. They are around your age. I hope the plane that you were taking is not the one I am gonna be taking” she said, her tone changing from sweet to slightly worried. “I’m sure everything will turn out fine” Steven said, trying to reassure the women. As the were chatting about her kids, he tried to catch glimpses of what she was wearing. From what he could gather, it looked like yellow sundress with white flats. She looked like she was about to go to a garden party, not an airport, but to each their own. After about 45 minutes of talking about her kids, his life, and just random topics, they both stopped when they heard an announcement over the intercom. “Attention, flight 232 from Dallas to Orlando has been postponed until tomorrow. Again, flight 232 from Dallas to Orlando has been postponed until tomorrow due to unforeseen technical issues. We are sorry for the inconvenience.” Both of them looked at each other. “Is that your plane?” Steven asked, knowing full well that it was his. “Yup, how about you?” she asked back, figured she already knew the answer. “Yeah…” Steven trailed off, frustrated that he wouldn’t be able to home tonight. Another night of sleeping in a hotel bed is the last thing he wanted. “Great looks like we are both stuck in Dallas tonight. Plus, it’s only 1 in the afternoon, so we are stuck for most of the day. This is just the worst day” the lady had been looking forward to seeing her kids today and the stupid electrical failure has screwed over both her and her new friend. As if out of nowhere, Steven looked at his stranded friend. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I caught your name. We just got to talking and things moved pretty quick from there. I’m Steven by the way” he told her, holding out his hand. “Oh, of course. My name is Anna” she said, completely bypassing his handshake and leaning over to embrace him in a hug. It had been forever since Steve had been hugged and, quite frankly, he had missed that feeling. This hug seemed to be even better than most. It reminded him of the warming hugs that he would get from his mom when he was a kid. “It’s nice to formally meet you” Anna said as she released him from the hug. To her, handshakes were only for the boardroom. She was a very loving person and hugs were one of the ways she showed that. “Steven is such a pretty name. I told myself that, if I ever had another son, I would name him Steven.” Blushing, he looked at his shoes. “Thanks, I like my name too” he whimpered, not really knowing how to take compliments. In addition to that, there was just something about this woman that made him feel like a kid. Maybe it was her mannerisms or the way she talked, but he felt like he was a kid again. He didn’t hate it either. “Well, since it looks like we are gonna be in Dallas for the rest of the day, do you wanna go grab some lunch or something? You are the only person I know in this city. Unless you are busy” Steven asked, not wanting to impose. “I have a better idea. Can you give me a couple minutes to grab my stuff and then we can talk about it?” she asked, getting up before the question even ended. “Um...yeah, sure” he said. Anna didn’t even turn to respond to his answer as she walked down the terminal. As she strutted away, Steven had to admit to himself: she had a great butt. Even though she looked to be in her early 40s, she still looked very good. About 15 minutes later, Anna returned to her seat with her luggage as well as a fresh cup of coffee. “Are you still interested in hearing my idea?” she asked, whispering to him as if it was some secret. “Yeah, let’s hear it” was all the Steven responded with “I was thinking of renting a car and driving to Orlando instead of spending another day, and possibly more, here. You are more then welcome to come with me. After talking and just feeling you out, you seem like a nice enough person. I could pay for the rental and everything that goes with it. I would even pay for gas” Anna laid out the plan, trying to make it sound as enticing as possible. Steven had to think about this for a minute. How well did he really know this women? Yes, she seemed nice, but she could just be faking it to get something out of him. “What’s the catch” he asked with a joking tone, but he really wanted to know. “That's what I wanted to talk to you about” she lowered her voice from a normal speaking voice to a whisper once again. “I want you to be my baby” Anna said bluntly...

I twisted my wrists against the cuffs, the faux fur lining had long gone from a tickling novelty to a scratchy irritant, my sweat slick and sticky. It was my fault, I had to have the cute purple ones. I was a hot mess all over, my hair was stuck down to my forehead, the sweat trickling down in runnels and I couldn’t bring my hands down to wipe my eyes, all because of my stupid cute purple cuffs. My arms and shoulders ached from my hands being tied above me, least my pillow kept my back reasonably ache free, though it’d need a wash when I was done. I sucked greedily at the gag, nursing the teat had become a total reflex action after all these long hours. The thin milky stuff that I knew was loaded with laxatives and diuretics, had kept well hydrated, though my poor tummy did look bloated from drinking all that formula. I wanted to poke it, just to make sure I somehow hadn’t gained the baby fat she was always teasing me with. Sure little babies are chubby but I don’t want that many Xs in my clothing labels thank you very much. It was probably just bloating and water retention, not the damn cuffs would let me check. As I looked down, I noticed the drool trails, my tits were covered in slobber, like a dog had been licking them or something and it was all going south. Not that there was much dry down there any more. When this was all over I was gonna have one hell of a bath, with bubbles! With a sigh I wiggled my legs trying to find a dry place but no, there was nowhere. I could see the underside of the thighs and calves were turning red and had starting to itch, that bath could not come soon enough. I noticed more rivulets of pee escaping my completely soaked and full diaper. I hope the plastic mattress holds up. I was peeing, again. I know she wants me to be totally diaper dependant but surely that means using the diaper not drowning in my own pee. Thankfully I’d kicked my stuffies out of my crib when the leaks had started, they didn’t deserve to drown, though I really wish I could cuddle them right now. I could Ms Bunny, just, if I craned my neck she was laying there on the cold hardwood staring up at the ceiling, like she was saying ‘What has become of my life?’ Right with you there sister. Every time I shifted a little I felt the mess surrounding me, the sodden thick diaper so bloated with my pee, and the gross mess underneath me. It was so cold and clammy and I couldn’t help but blush each time I felt it I remembered the powerful, humiliating orgasm I’d had when I messed myself. She’d said those tapes would turn me into a diaper slut, I’d barely needed the magic wand she’s tape to my diaper for the first few hours. Now it just lay there, dead, even the duct tape she’d used to attach it was starting to peel off. Least if the damn thing was still working I’d have something to take my mind off all this. The room stank, shit, piss and sweat, though most embarrassingly the smell of my sex. Just remembering how I’d strained and squirmed, desperate for more, all while those tapes played their damned music. But now it’d all ran out, except my bladder it seems. She’d done this to me! She’d toyed and played until I was her perfect baby doll. What kind of pervert makes a grown woman piss and shit herself and then makes her love it. Oh gods, she’d laughed her ass off that time in the grocery store. Me biting my fist, trying to stop the moaning, squatting in the middle of the isle like a damn toddler. It was probably the best orgasm of my life. I’d let her do this to me, and begged for it. The attention, the love, the cuddles, the pampering, both literal and figurative. That first date after she’d told me what she wanted. Walking through the park at sunset, wearing that first diaper, it’d seemed so ludicrously thick, how I learned. Being pushed on the swings, holding her hand as I climbed up the slide. Her hand on my crotch and making out as I wet the first time, climaxing there on the swings as she kissed me and telling me over and over what a good girl I was and how she’d take care of everything. I laid back the best I could and stared up at the ceiling. The unicorn mobile we’d made together hung there, each needle felted steed mid gallop or in the case of one particularly silly one shooting rainbows out of it’s butt. The stars, moons and planets stuck to the ceiling were just being to take on their greenish glow as the evening’s light faded. That had been such a fun Christmas when we’d first put this nursery together, knitting big baby blankets, embroidering cute and naughty messages on bibs and diaper covers. We’d gotten so silly painting this room, of course I was only allowed to paint in just my diaper, which was totally unfair, so I painted the seat of her jeans so she could join me in just, all be it in thinner, undies. It was a good thing we planned to take up the carpet anyway She’d been late before but never this late. I always said to take the bus back if she had to ride in late night traffic. That bike just was not safe, and she never put stabilises on it like mine! That was just reckless. I still can believe she pulled that off. Where did she ever manage to find the design of the bike I had at age seven, the exact same Disney princess design. Then getting it painted on a grown up bicycle, even the tassels matched! That woman is a witch. Gods I hope she’s okay. What if she’s been killed, side swiped by some idiot tech bro’s Mercedes, and then Mom finds me here like a week from now, dead from diaper rash and lack of hugs. No she’s okay, she’s got to be. Mommy. I woke late with a start, tears still clinging to my lashes, the door had just banged open. What now, burglars? Clowns? Vampires? Vampire Clowns? Vampire Clowns who wanted to steal the TV? Vampire Clowns who wanted to steal Ms Bunny! It was full dark now, only the dim glow of my ceiling planetarium, the lack of a proper night light was upsetting me more than I though it would. Fresh tears were pouring down my face, I groaned into my gag and squirmed against my bonds, trying to hide without even thinking. The corridor light clicked on and I heard the click of heels rushing towards me, till a silhouette blocked the light. In the flash of the room light turning on she was at my crib side. She hadn’t even taken her helmet off, red faced like she’d run a marathon, the scarf I knitted her last christmas dangling from her neck. “Oh my gods Princess I’m so so sorry, you’re such a mess. There was a thing at work and then the traffic, I’m sorry, sorry, sorry”. She kept repeating the last as she undid the restraints and picked me up hugging me tight too her, still whispering “sorry, sorry, sorry”. We stood there; hugging tight together, both crying with a tickle from me dripping steadily on the floor. “Quick let’s get you out of this horrid thing” she said once we broke apart slightly. “Bath” I croaked through my tears and disused voice. “Of course princess”, she first quickly undid the tapes of my diaper, that were barely holding on anyway, and picked me up bare bum to the world. Not caring in the least that I was dribbling on her fancy work coat. I rested my head on her shoulder as she carried me to my long awaited bath. I whispered in my croaky voice. “love you Mommy”. “Love you baby”. The end

The van shook and rattled as we turned drove along, the big amps and drums buffeted and jostled me for the little space there was. Jake had the radio going far too loud so I had to shout to be heard. “We are being paid for this right?” “Whaaat?” He yelled back, I took a deep breath to shout back when we made a sudden turn and a pile of guitars landed on me. I made a sound somewhere between a squeak and a squawk, that Alex would probably describe as one of my disgruntled bunny noises. With a shuddering jerk the van can to a merciful stop. I was freed from musical prison when the side door slid open and Jake and Alex started pulling out gear. Alex pulled the guitars off me and helped pull me out of the van. “I calling shotgun on the way back, I am not getting crushed by those amps again” I said, pulling a face. Alex only laughed and ruffled my hair and with a whisper in my ear said “Don’t pout kitten”. We were parked in the lot of an abandoned mall, park of a slowly dying strip, empty parking lots and dead store fronts lit in the lambent glow of street lamps. I couldn’t see any stars and there was a slight chill in the air so all street lamps looked like they shrouded were in swirling fog. There were a few other vans and station wagons parked around the lot but everything was silent except us loading dollies to carry our equipment. “Not many people here yet.” “It’s still early, I don’t think they’ve even started the generator yet.” “Where did you even hear about this?” “From school I told you, there were flyers in the cafeteria.” “I bet they were shocked when a professor asked if her band could play.” “Assistant professor, but who knows maybe some of my students will think I’m cool now, and start taking what I’ve said about the Brontes seriously.” “Yeah cause there’s nothing more punk than Victorian literature” At this Alex stuck her tongue out at me, while Jake chortled. We were huddled together by the van, shivering slightly in the cold. Alex had her arms tightly wrapped around herself, probably regretting the long asymmetrical dress she wore. I wasn’t much better in my torn striped sweater, least the sleeves were long so they covered my hands. Jake wandered off to find the gig organiser while I did some floppy sweater hands kung fu. Alex moved from shaking from cold to shaking from cold and giggling. I was mid defeating unseen enemies when Alex wrapped herself around me from behind and hugged me tight. It was in moments like this that the height difference between us was brought in to sharp cosy relief. If she stood on tiptoe she could rest her boobs on my head, which we both thought was pretty funny. Sure I needed a stool to kiss her cheek but doesn’t mean I didn’t drag that chair across the room and kiss the h*ck out of her face. Once all the stuffing was thoroughly hugged out of me we sat down in the door of the van, hand in hand, watching the slow trickle of cars arriving for the concert. I stood at the back of the crowd, grumpy and alone. There was a decent crowd, dancing and moshing in the middle of this mall, some people were on the upper balconies talking and drinking. A local micro brewery had set up a bar to one side and was doing good business. The dozens of workman’s lamps scattered about the place barely made the mall look creepy at all, though there were some kids running around, jumping out of shadows and scaring each other, no appreciation for music. Alex came wandering out the crowd, two beers in her hands like Aphrodite rising from the waves except with beer and a better ass. “What’s up buttercup” she half yelled over the band and handed my a beer. I took it gratefully and took a too large swig, and dribbled a little down my front. In a futile attempt I tried to wipe it off my sweater and said “Oh some asshole said I had a fat butt!” “I happen to think you have a great butt, even if it’s rather puffy from time to time”, said Alex sliding an arm round me and grabbing said posterior, of course by this point I was blushing like a lighthouse. “I can’t help thaaaaat” I whined “Just like you couldn’t help leaking on these pants could you little girl”, she whispered in my ear. I stood stock still like a deer in headlights, mentally feeling legs. Yep there is was, the warm trickles working their way down my thighs. I quickly looked down, oh gods, was it obvious? Was there a puddle? “There’s no puddle, yet, but we best get you changed quick or you’ll be playing lullabies on stage” We began hustling through the fringes of the crowd to get to the exit when Jake yelled at us, “Where you going? we’re on in twenty!” “Girl troubles” Alex shouted back over her shoulder. Alex slammed the van door behind her with my bag in her hand, I reached out for it “Okay gimme, I really need to change” “Oh no, little miss soggy puss. When I let you get dressed up tonight you promised me there’d be no leaks, no stained pants for me to clean.” I had promised that, when she’d gotten out a pair of inch thick cloth diapers and pink plastic panties for me to wear. “I knooow, but it wasn’t my fault, that guy...” “He wasn’t the one who peed you diaper till it leaked was he?” “Nooooo but...” “Then I’m going to do it this time, to make sure it’s done right.” With that she rummaged around in my bag and pulled a thick pink diaper, one of my favourite brands so of course I did the reasonable thing by throwing a tantrum. I banged my fists on the floor of the van and flailed them around. “Nooooo, no no no no no no no no no… no! I’ma big girl tonight!” “Ruth Emery Tillie-Browne stop that this instant” she said in her sternest voice mommy voice, it stopped me dead mid flail. With a light push she had me on my back in the scratchy carpeting. With practised ease she had my pant off and was inspecting the damage, clicking her tongue she showed them to me. “Quite a big mess for such a little girl.” She was right, there was a dark stain on the red denim, running down both legs, with twin half moon stains on the seat. Of course I was blushing to the tips of my toes at this point. Then she pulled me up by the ankles till I was face to face with the front of my diaper. What had once been a pristine white was now a grey tinged with yellow, it really had been soaked through. “And what do you have to say about this little one?” Alex said “does this look like the kind of diaper a little super soaker like you should be wearing?” “Nooo…” “What was that?” “No Mommy, I’m sorry, please put me in a proper diaper” “Good girl” With that she put a small towel under my butt and began to change my diaper. I stared up at the ceiling, the dome lights too bright. Somehow my thumb found it’s way to my mouth and it was quickly as wet as my diaper. I just existed in the moment while those cold wipes cleaned and teased me, the perfumed scent of the powder. Then all too soon I was taped up, with a loving pat. I looked down at myself, admiring the thick poofy diaper, it really was much more my style than that silly slim thing. Then I tried to pull down my sweater to cover it, there was no way it would cover more than the waist band. I looked up at Alex in panic, thumb still firmly in mouth I said “Wath am Ise gonna weear! I cawnt go in jwst my diawper!” Alex seemed to consider that seriously for a second, “Moooommy noooo”, there may have been a pout involved. “Don’t worry silly girl, I prepared for this”, she pulled from my bag a pleated skirt, a bit school girlish but it’d do. “Come on let’s get you in this” she said as she pulled skirt up my legs, I lifted my butt and wigged into it, letting her do the button, she says I’m too little to handle buttons sometimes. Once it was on, Alex pulled me up and gave me a big hug and a kiss. “You ready to go back?” “I think so” I jumped out the van a second later, quickly tugging the skirt down. Then doing a quick finger tip inspection. “Alex!” I shouted, then there was the look and I said in a much quieter voice, “Moooommy, the skirt’s too short, everyone will see my diaper!” putting maybe a bit too much emphasis on the last syllable. “Ruthie, you’ll just have to be careful is all, it’s a good inch longer than your diaper and it’s either the skirt or nothing at all. Which do think will look better on stage?” With that I began a blush so deep I think I glowed in the night, and I just stammered. She’d make me do it I know she would, sure she’d say was a stunt to people who asked but it wouldn’t stop her embarrassing me. Gods I horny. I grabbed her hand, my thumb somehow back in my mouth again and we walked back to the show. “Love you Mommy” “Love you princess” The End

9. Jump in! New York, New York, that toddling town The bronx is up and the Battery’s down... NYC...what is it about you? You’re big, you’re loud, you’re tough… Start spreading the news I’m leaving today I’m gonna be a part of it: New York, New York… NYC...I go years without you Then I can’t get enough... The people ride in a hole in the ground New York, New York, it’s a wonderful town! Geneva sat in the giant crib wearing the frilliest dress from Naomi’s collection and a diaper that was far too visible, as far as she was concerned, strumming her guitar while Naomi looked on from behind Ryan, who was filming the whole scene on a camera that looked as if it had come from a movie set. Why he even owned such a thing she was not sure, but Naomi assured her that it would make all the difference in the world for the quality of the video. She still was not completely sure she should have let Naomi talk her into this bizarre opening to her song. A montage of “I love New York” songs from various musicals seemed so much at odds with what the song was trying to say. But Naomi had been insistent, and anyway if it didn’t work they could always cut it. “We’ve got this seemingly four-year-old singer singing, like, the most depressing song I’ve ever heard,” Naomi said. “We need a counterpoint, even if it’s an ironic one.” Ironic. That’s one word for it. Another was “absurd.” Or “misaligned.” Or maybe “ill-conceived.” She tried to talk her friend into seeing that this was the one shot that Baby G would have to make herself and the song had to be just right, but Naomi would not be swayed. So Geneva was singing the intro despite herself for the third time. Each time, Ryan had shot from a different angle; he was going to edit it all together later on. “Perfect,” he said, his quiet monotone not altogether convincing, but she’d gotten used to Ryan by now so she knew that this was about as excited as he got. “Really?” she asked. “Genny it’s fantastic,” Naomi burbled. Really, she had enough enthusiasm to make up for several Ryans. “Now climb down into the ball pit.” Naomi, who had appointed herself director, had decided that the first verses would be sung over footage of Geneva in the ball pit. When Geneva pointed out that it would be difficult to play guitar if she was up to her waist in plastic balls, Naomi laughed. “That’s why we have the master recording. The only time you’re really singing is in the crib, and the most important part of that is the intro and outro we added. The rest is already on tape, and it’s brilliant.” Sometimes Naomi was so darned upbeat that Geneva wanted to strangle her. She climbed down from the giant crib—not an easy task even with the set of metal stairs that had been rolled over to assist her—and headed for the ball pit. At least, the ball pit was going to be fun. For one thing, she had always loved them when she was little: burying herself in the balls, tossing them into the air or throwing them against the mesh sides so they’d roll back down and settle like balls bouncing on a roulette wheel trying to find the right hole to settle into. She always tried to predict where they’d stop; once in awhile she was even right. Easily the best part about this ball pit, though, was that, deep among the balls, her ridiculous outfit would be harder to see. She eased herself into the pit like she was testing the water in a pool. “No, no!” Naomi called. “Jump in! Little kids either jump in or fall in.” Geneva rolled her eyes. She wanted to argue, but what was the use? Naomi was the director and anyway she happened to be right. So she stepped back out of the pit. “On my mark,” said Ryan so softly that, if there had been anyone else there other than the store manager, who was watching them, fascinated, from a desk in the corner, she couldn’t possibly have heard him at all. “Five, four, three…” he said, and then used his fingers to count down “two” and “one,” a tactic Geneva had gotten used to. When he reached “zero,” she looked over at the camera and smiled as big a smile as she could before leaping headfirst into the balls. She’d sort of expected to get completely swallowed by them, but her dive was stopped after the first several inches and she lay there on her stomach, her arms flailing about as she tried to right herself. OK, that was not exactly a genius idea. Finally able to raise her head, she saw Naomi laughing on the sideline and talking quietly to Ryan, but she knew better than to react; that would just mean doing it all again. So she settled in and did what came into her head: squiggling down beneath the balls, bursting out, tossing them around and laughing. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, she heard Naomi say “Cut.” As she climbed out, it surprised her that Ryan was coming into the pit. “We need a headshot of you diving in,” he said. She rolled her eyes. “I have to do that again?” she asked. “Hey,” Naomi said, “You were the one who chose how to enter. Live with it.” Shaking her head, she positioned herself as she had for the first take. Directly across from her, half-buried himself in the balls, was Ryan, holding a smaller camera. “Now,” he said, “try to do it just like before.” “If I can remember,” she said. He gave her the signal, and she turned toward Naomi like before and gave a huge smile before swan diving into the balls again. This time she was careful not to let herself sink in too deep, and she righted herself easily. Ryan had stopped filming but, she could see, he was ready for more. “I just want you to do a few of the things you did before,” he said. “Jump out of the balls. Toss a couple at the mesh.” Once she was finished and Ryan gave her the all-clear, she climbed back out of the ball pit. Ryan, though, carefully put the camera down just outside on the mat before strapping a Go-Pro to his head and taking the same spot she had before diving into the balls himself. When he came up, he looked at her. “Point of view shot,” he said simply. “Won’t there be a noticeable quality difference?” she asked. He smiled. He hadn’t done that much, and she thought he should do it more. “I’ll minimize it with filters,” he said. After the ball pit there was a shot of Baby G playing in the huge playpen with giant stuffies. By this point she had given up on keeping the big baby clothes in check; she just rolled around with the bears and the elephant and the giraffe with reckless abandon, letting herself enjoy the silliness. Legos were next. She played for several minutes with the giant Lego set and, halfway through, decided to make a wall that spelled “Broadway” when seen from the top. Ryan realized what she was doing and filmed from several angles. Naomi applauded. Finally she was back in the crib doing the rest of the song, which she understood would be spliced into the final video as desired. In her dreams She was a part of New York City In her dreams Marquees lit up to spell her name But it seems The truth is rarely very pretty And extremes At times can turn out just the same In her eyes There was the sparkle of elation In her eyes There was a future to be seen Now she cries Her tears an awful condemnation Something dies When you get caught in the machine Ryan was using the big camera again, and Naomi once more stood near him, watching and evaluating. The store owner was with her now, and Geneva could see him quietly saying something to her that made her smile. He shook his head, apparently surprised at her answer, before wandering back to his desk. Geneva was really hearing the words in her song by now, by all appearances a little child singing about the loss of dreams and the death of hope. And all of that over video of her gleefully playing. It was so incongruous that, if she had the time to consider it, she’d probably laugh out loud. But Naomi swore it would work, so on she went. In her dreams she used to see Herself the way she knew she’d be But truth and dreams don’t always intertwine For the city is unforgiving And some dreams aren’t for the living When the world leaves you beaten and broken and scared And the universe seems like a shattered affair And there’s nothing for you anymore anywhere And you stand on the bridge and look down at the brine And the water looks fine The second verse, if anything, was even more depressing than the first, but Geneva sang and played with all of the emotion she could muster in her Baby G guise. And when she finished, she added the silly outro that Naomi had come up with, the reprise of the first four lines of “New York, New York.” And as she sang them, she realized that something different was happening to the lines. The upbeat lyrics and tune didn’t sound the same to her: she was slowing the whole thing down and singing it more quietly and the whole thing sounded both great and thoroughly ironic. She hadn’t even realized before that she should do that; it just felt right in the moment. Maybe Nay was onto something here? Or maybe the whole thing would completely suck. As Ryan put his equipment away, Geneva climbed down from the high crib for the final time and started putting her guitar into its case. Turning to Naomi, she asked what the manager had said to her. Her friend smiled. “Oh, he was wondering the same thing as you: how all of this fits together. I told him our idea—” “Your idea,” Geneva interrupted. “—and he pretty much thought we were insane.” “Yeah, I do too.” Naomi smiled again. “You’ll see. Once Ryan splices it all together with the footage he took last year in New York, it will be genius.” Geneva shook her head. “Why couldn’t we just do a more contemplative video?” “Genny,” Naomi said in her most didactic voice, as if she were speaking to an actual four-year-old, “can you imagine doing that here among all of these silly props? The visual would end up being absurd anyway. But if we go out of our way to make it absurd, we’re in on the joke.” Geneva was silent for a moment. “Why didn’t you explain it like that before? That actually makes sense...in an odd sort of way.” “I couldn’t have.” Naomi laughed. “I only just thought of it.” “You’re very weird.” Naomi was still laughing. “And isn’t it a great thing?”

Chapter Thirty-Two: I played with the building blocks in my playpen, kicking my feet in the soft grass. My dress had ridden up, but I was hardly paying attention. A lot of people had gathered to take their own personal photos. It didn't really matter - all this stuff would be online anyway. Jackie was off somewhere and Jessie and Kate were somewhere else. That girl from the bathroom - Aims - talked to me for a while, but it was in constant condescension. And finally, when everyone went to do something over by the picnic table, Melissa - Abe's assistant - leaned over the playpen and poked me on the leg. Melissa and I were pretty close. We had worked together for two years, after all. We liked to bash on Abe behind his back, or she'd sneak me some alcohol on the set even though I wasn't yet twenty-one. But this entire week, I saw very little of her. "The footage looks good," she told me. I sat up and took the pacifier out of my mouth. "Looks very genuine." "Cool. That's the goal." "You're going to be very very well off you know - Jackie called me that first night and we made sure your cut was percentage based, so all this over the top fluff that Abe thinks is all for him? Your pockets are going to be lined, sister." There was something other than celebration in her voice, though - there was... concern. "Yeah, I talked to Abe about it. I think I'm going to take a vacation or something." I laughed and rocked back and forth on the grass, the wet cotton pushing against my skin. I hardly even noticed anymore. "So you... are doing alright?" "Uh. Yeah? Of course." "Okay. I just see some of these scenes and... well I never thought I'd ever see you doing that stuff." I pouted and crossed my arms over the dress. "I mean, I remember when you first started with us, and you had all these rules and boundaries. You were a specialty model back then and you'd put on your tight jeans and band tee and go home at the end of the night." She paused for a moment to add in, “It's like you’re enjoying this.” “Trust me, I’m not,” I said sharply, or as sharply as a girl in two wet cloth diapers can be. "It's just... a lot of money. So..." I looked down at my socks and bit my lip. I didn't like this! I was just... used to it... "And Jackie thinks it's cute." "Yeah, I saw some, uh... footage. Are you guys together?" "I think so." "I'm really happy for you two! Does Abe know?" Heaven and Hell right there, in two back to back statements. Does Abe know? He was big on professionalism, he'd feel it would undermine the dominatrix he paid for the week. He might not allow Jackie to take photos anymore. Conflict of interest. "Fuck if I care." The word stung my lips. Unfamiliar. A little uncomfortable, even. I shouldn't swear. At least until the cameras turned off. Right? "A-anyway... um... how long is this event supposed to be?" As far as I could tell by the sun in the sky, it was maybe five in the evening and I already had to pee again. Ugh, those stupid bottles they kept feeding me... "I think we're winding up, soon. Abe has something planned, he's been calling it his Grand Finale all afternoon, rubbing his hands together, you know. Like he's looking for photos of Spiderman, and he's finally got a good lead? He won't tell me what it is, though, and I don't think even Bitchsy knows." "Bitchsy!" I stared with my mouth opened wide in a smile. "That's the best nickname ever!" I missed this: time with Melissa, making fun of people. It was definitely what my week needed. "Well, either way. Almost over right. And then we'll celebrate!" Melissa reached into the playpen and patted the top of my head, leaving me alone once again. I sighed and laid back on the grass. Last day. "Alright Baby Luvs, it's time for your big moment," Betsy smiled, leaning into the pen to pick up the overdressed princess, propping her against her hip and holding her tight. "It's time for the cake, and candles, and to sing happy birthday. And we can try out your new high chair!" "You know," I told Betsy as she picked me up, "in a few hours you can't torment me anymore." But she just poked my nose. "Silly girl. I'm not tormenting you. I'm just one small step toward a greater destiny." I rolled my eyes. “Go to Hell.“ "Hey, this is our last day together, why not maybe try being nice for a change? Haven't you and I had a good time this week?" There was a little bit of something cute in Betsy's voice, like she maybe she wasn't even playing a role right now. "Are you gonna be able to blow out your candle all on your own?” I glared at her as she set me down in the high chair and pushed the tray table over my chest. I kicked my feet - about a foot off the ground - and shifted side to side. There was no way I was getting out of this without help. And with the way it pushed up my dress, the ruffled diaper cover between my legs was fully exposed. I pouted. Was this how helpless babies felt? No wonder they cried so much... I managed to arrive in time to click some photos, but the cameramen were circling the scene like vultures. And there were a lot of other men too, in expensive suits or polos, some on phones and some seated with laptops. Were there this many before? Betsy got into place beside the high chair. "Happy Birthday, Baby Luvs!! This has been such a big week for such a little girl, hasn't it? You've been so good, such a show off for all your fans, and now everyone is at home watching,” at $1.99 per minute, per person, "to celebrate your big day!" I looked up at the cameras. Tons of them. Video cameras and cell phones and photographers. Jackie, smiling behind her lens. And me, blushing and looking down at the tray table of the high chair. I shuffled awkwardly in place as the need to pee grew and my stomach churned with discomfort. I didn't know what to say. I felt like I couldn't say anything. This was so embarrassing... "If all your fans are lucky, maybe they'll get to see one last special show. I think we can all hear your tummy growling, little one, and maybe your cake will help with that, too?" Betsy smiled at the camera, played the remote audience. But more importantly, that comment got chatter from the men on phones, tap tap click clacking from keyboards on the laptops of the others. "Let's all sing! Happy Birthday to yooou...." They all sang while I sat quietly and kicked my feet, trying to keep the color of my cheeks under control. I knew Betsy was right - she had given me four bottles since this morning, and I had no doubt she had orchestrated my grand finale. My stomach gurgled and a small cramp washed over me. Finally, the singing stopped and everyone clapped their hands. Then Betsy brought over the large cake, with one lit candle. I leaned forward, wincing in discomfort, and blew it out in one breath. “Good job, little one! I hope you made a wish!" I watched it unfold: Betsy and her vile smile, getting pictures of my girlfriend in discomfort, wincing and cramping. I knew what she had planned and it wasn't fair at all. "Before I cut you some cake, though, Baby Luvs, how about we do presents? Your biggest fans have sent you so many gifts for your first birthday!" She shuffled the stack of presents along the picnic table; there had to be over a hundred gift wrapped packages! Melissa was cutting the cake and handing out pieces to the guests as Betsy and I went through the pile of gifts, agonizingly, one by one. "Look, a baby monitor! We definitely need this for the nursery. And hmmm. One of your viewers sent this bottle. There's a note that says 'the biggest bottle for the littlest baby!'" I whimpered and struggled in the high chair, biting my lip as another cramp hit. Wasn't this stupid day over with yet? It was a masterstroke. With so many gifts and so many people crowded round, it didn't matter how long it was going to take for the little baby girl to lose her fight, just that she would lose it. Time meant nothing. There was no holding out. No second guessing. Gift after gift, picture after picture, second after second. "Mommy," I muttered, tugging at Betsy's sleeve as she unwrapped some nursery decorations. "Dun wanna open more gifts..." I needed this day to be over. I needed it to be over ten minutes ago! But Betsy knew what she was doing. "Only a few more." But a few more was twenty or so. Diapers. Lots of them. Baby toys, like rattles and even a mobile for my new crib. I whimpered and held my arms across my waist. I was out of breath. "Don't you worry. I know you're excited for your cake, but you're going to get as much as you want just as soon as you finish your gifts. All your fans bought you these gifts, so you gotta be extra polite and grateful and thank every single one of them, okay?" The high chair had a high back with a panel missing in rear, and the table meant that between the two of them and her spread legs, almost all of her diapered state was in clear sight. Cameramen were in front, below, and behind, like they knew what to expect. Betsy smiled. I whimpered and kicked and pounded my fists against the tray. It drew attention. I didn't mean to draw attention! The guests watched me as I struggled and whined. But another cramp came - stronger than the others. I wasn't prepared. My body didn't know what else to do. So I pushed. The soft, stinky mess filled the cloth diaper. I pushed up on the tray table, to give it room to fill the seat of my ruffled panties, grunting and moaning in front of everyone. They all watched in shock. No one there had seen a twenty-year old girl mess her diapers in the middle of a park before. Suddenly, I was the center of the universe. But I would have given anything to be invisible. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Like & Comment! Please also consider supporting us on Patreon!

hoarding ( ? )

WELL spoken (standing up and applaud )

Wearing diapers doesn't increase your urine output or change the times you need to pee, so they don't make you wet more. But they do (and probably will) cause you to resist wetting less, and that is why you will probably end up wetting more by wearing. The end effect is the same so this is not a question I'd spend much time thinking over. Just know what's likely going to happen and if you don't see that as a problem get your diaper on and go with it. Bettypooh

Once you have a fetish, it's permanent - barring brain damage. That being said, I know several people that set the lifestyle aside in favor of family and other hobbies. Everyone is different though and it might not be as easy for you, but it's definitely possible to be ABDL and live a "normal" vanilla life. The folks I know that have been successful still fantasize about the lifestyle, but they fill their time with other interests.

Well again today i have woke to find myself in a very pissy situation. I do not have any recollection of actually wetting my pjs and bed. When i first began having bedwetting accidents i could often remember dreams about me needing to pee or very often dreams where i had a diaper on and had to pee in it. Well i always woke up shortly after my dream or sometimes during the very end of my wetting. Anyway i must admit when i first wake up alone i love the whole experience as i am very warm wet and comfortable and honestly excited. I find it so ironic that after potty training i never had night time accidents.when i turned 11 however i began to realise i got excited by pants and bedwetting. I enjoy both doing it myself or others as well. I remember when i first experimented with wetting my pants i would grab a pair of shorts and underwear and hide in the bathroom and pee myself. So that i would not get caught i would dip them in my swimming pool to make it seem like they were simply soaked by pool water. Well at around 12 i did purposely pee my bed a little when iknew i would have a friday night alone in my room. I would wear old undies and old jogging pants and lay many old towels on my bed. I did not have a large scale bedwetting as i do accidentally but i still enjoyed feeling naughty and warm and wet. I would quickly add my pissy clothing into a load of laundry careful of not being seen. Well I considered bedwetting a naughty fantasy that would never accidentally happen to me. One morning whem i was 15 years old i woke up like 3 hours early and at first felt sweaty especiially my legs. I quickly realized that i had genuinely peed my bed because o rolled over slightly and could feel a huge difference in wetness on the mattress. Sadly I could not enjoy my very first accidental bedwetting. I was far too embarrased and concerned with hiding the fact that i wet my bed especially being 15! Well i very quickly got up and stripped off my piss soaked pjs and boxerbriefs. I quietly went to the bathroom to get some towels to dry my mattress. I am embarrased to admit i did not even shower i simply changed into dry boxerbriefs and dry pj bottoms. I did not do my own laundry so instead was only concerned with hiding all my pissy things. I stripped the sheet off my bed and hid it with my wet bottoms inside a trashbag that i hid in my closet. I could not get the huge wetspot left on my mattress dry enough to putva fresh sheet on. I instead flipped my mattress to hide the wetspot. Well my parents at least let me believe i got away with it although im certain my mom found out although to this day have never discussed my bedwetting problem. Well after what i was certain was a fluke accident and did not have to worry about it happening again. To my shock not more than a week later i once again woke up soaked in my own piss. I recall this second time dreaming of peeing my diaper but quickly find i had peed in real life too and did not have a diaper. Well i started wetting alot more ofyen after that but generally would be dry for at least 5 or 6 days between accidents. Well i soon understoos that i could have a bedwetting accident every 7 to 10 days. My mattress started to show the undeniable yellow stains that prove its owner to be a bedwetter. Despite the mattress which im certain was a major sign of my wetting that my mother discovered. As well my room started to have the undeniable smell of a bedwetter. The reason i know my mother discovered my pee stained mattres is the fact one day when i returned to my room found a large white pad in between my mattress and sheet. My mom said it was for comfort only but know it was a bedwetting mattress protector. Well i never dreamed how severe my bedwetting would become. When I was a sophomore i started to let my gf stay the night with me. I would be obviously nervous on these nights and would not sleep at all which she later told me she realized. Well she steadily started sleeping over in my bed more and more often to the embarrasing night it first happened. I remember being woke up by my gf and feeling really warm and sweaty maybe...as i started actually realizing where i was i felt a strange warm sweaty...very sweaty heavy feeling between my legs and front and back of my pj bottoms...she began shaking me and staring at my face then looking down at the bed in between us...she said wake up i think u had an accident...i heard her words and reality sank in!!! I immediately grabbed my crotch area and to no surprise found it warm and soaking wet!!! I then moved my hand and rolled my body over a few feet and found that i had completely soaked my half of the bed and left a huge pee stain on my gf favorite blanket!!! She just laid by me and said it was okay and that i needed to get up so we could change the bedding and clean it too...as i stood up i felt so embarrased but i knew there was no way to keep it a secret...she stripped the bed and put it all in the washer then told me to get out of my pissy boxer briefs and pjs and shower if id like...i asked if i could shower in the morning and she agreed...so i jus took off my pissy pants and put on sum dry undies and pj bottoms....she told me it was our secret and tgat it happens to everyone at some point....she said she even peed her pants not that lomg ago laughing but was able to change b4 i found out!! This made me feel a lil better but i was still very embarrased that i wet the bed at my age...but she just wrote it off as a one time thing that needed no attention paid to...but shed find out it was the start of a consistent trend of me wetting the bed more frequently until she decided it was becoming a real problem and began buying me diapers and making sure i used them every night to save herself the laundry and possibility of her getting soaked by me 2!!!!

WBDaddy, this is lovely. It's such a simple, sweet idea for a story and very well executed. Looking forward to seeing the next chapter even though it seems as if it will be the last one (and a sad one).

I have to be honest here, if you are only actively looking for a partner in the ABDL lifestyle, it will not work out (Or, I should say, it will be rare). This isn't a dating website, but it doesn't mean that relationships don't happen. But, it's rare. I can say that I did meet my boyfriend @Dr_J here. But, we didn't just talk for a minute and suddenly start dating. We were friends for a very long time (almost 2 years) before we developed feelings and started dating. We also have WAY more than abdl fetish stuff related. If you took that all away from us, we would still be a very compatible couple. I also know of a few other couples that met here. My advice? Talk to people, have conversations (outside of the fetish), get to know them, make connections, make friends - and maybe one day one of those will grow into something more. Of course, I'm not saying it will take years to happen, but having a solid friendship first is good for any kind of romantic relationship.

After being manipulated by his strange captors David is left trapped with the hands. His hopes of being let go are quickly taken away and he is left to realise this may be a longer experience than he was expecting. --- If you enjoy my stories please consider subscribing to my Patreon page where I post a 2000+ word update every four days or so. For $5 a month you can read all of my updates a week before everyone else and for $10 you get early access plus exclusive stories only available to my patrons. There are more tiers and rewards available on the page. https://www.patreon.com/Elfy88 Thank you to everyone who is already a patron of mine: DannyDazzler, Joe, Jerry J, C Dom, Ali T, Sith, Fernando L, Conta, Mike S, Carter B, Dr J, Paul F, John D, Archibald B, Bojack D, John, Georgia C, Blipp, Duncan G, Jake W, Jeffrey G, P, Joe, Tabbi, Anon, Kent J, Nick C, Brandon G, P74_1986, Pat M, LuvsSissy, DreaR, Alex B, Malcolm E, Pete W, Tim, Cless, Frank S, Scott S, John D, Pierre-David G, M, Joshua M, NunyoBC, Txdiapered, Kim, Chris, Dorian G, Ceneroz, S Miller, Britnee L, Tim F, WillNotWill, Orion F, Tom H, Sterling W, Ryan, Jens B, Matthew S, Pierry L, Miss Amy W, Joe B, Trish C, Wet, Curiosity24, Peter C, VoidofContext, ReiofLight, James K, Lin J, Plus M, Joe V, Daniel O, Anne Mette B-H, Kirk H, Mikkel L, Eric D, Bruce D, Tim, Alice W, Sophie S, SB1275, John Z, BuffaloBill, Findlay, Rob, Bob S, Nathan, Timothy A W, Erik P, Ben R, Ben F, Steven H --- “C-Can I go now?” David said breathlessly into the room. There was no response to his question. The hand holding David’s cum lifted into the air slowly and David watched tiredly as a few of the hands moved over towards it. They made their palms face the cupped hand and almost seemed to be looking at what David had produced. They couldn’t be looking though because they had no eyes, David had no idea what they doing. David was slumped in the hands that still held him off the ground but a low mechanical whirring from the ceiling got his attention. He looked up with his red face to see another hand coming down, it looked the same as the others with the big cartoony white glove but it was carrying something. David didn’t really make out what it was until it got closer to him when he finally recognised the clear cylinder of a baby bottle with a long latex teat on the top. The bottle was a lot bigger than a regular baby one and it was filled with milk. The thought of being naked like this and drinking from a bottle wasn’t very pleasing but David was about to see that everything could get much worse. The bottle moved over to the gathering of the other hands and stopped next to the cupped cum filled hand. David could see the scene in front of him clearly as one of the hands unscrewed the top of the large bottle and moved it aside. The cupped hand started slowly moving towards the infantile drink causing David’s eyes to widen in alarm. “No, no, no…” David repeated quickly as he realised what was about to happen. He shook his head as much as he could, “Stop it! I’m not doing that…” David’s words clearly had no impact on the plans of his mechanical captors. He watched in open mouthed horror as the hand with his still warm semen tipped its contents into the bottle of milk. The lid was screwed back on and then David watched the hand holding the bottle shake it violently to mix it all up. By the time it had stopped shaking David knew his seed was completely mixed with what he assumed was regular milk. When the hands were done with the mixing David saw the huge bottle being carried towards him. It was tipped up and aimed at his mouth with a glistening drop of the milk dripping from the teat. David quickly closed his mouth and turned his head away in disgust, there was no way he was going to drink the milk when he knew what it was mixed with. David was only allowed to look away for a few seconds as two hands swiftly grasped the side of his head with their padded gloves. Using supreme strength they forced the man to look forwards and even as David tried to keep his head turned away all he could do was hurt his neck in the futile attempt. He was now even more firmly under the control of these awful machines. The teat of the bottle was pushed against David’s lips but he refused to open his mouth. The sweet and cold milk dribbled down his chin a little as the soft nipple of the bottle tried to get through his mouth’s defences. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop this bottle from being fed to him forever but his resistance was ended very quickly when two gloved fingers pinched his nose and stopped him being able to breathe. David tried to shake the fingers away from his nose but he couldn’t move his head and after a few seconds he was forced to open his mouth to gasp for the air his body craved. The moment David opened his mouth the latex teat was pushed forwards until his lips hit the part of the bottle that connected to the lid. He felt the dripping of milk on his tongue as the bottle eagerly awaited being drank from. The hands surrounded David with their palms facing him as if watching the man struggle as he tried desperately to stop himself from reflexively sucking on the bottle. It was only a matter of time and the mechanical limbs would not be denied. After a minute of trying to keep his tongue still David shifted slightly and his tongue pressed against the bottom of the milk filled teat. He immediately felt the cool milk squirt into his mouth and he was forced to swallow so he could breathe easier. He winced because he knew his own semen was mixed with the milk but there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was glad that the only thing he could taste was sweet milk. As soon as he swallowed the first of the drink he was forced to continue swallowing as the liquid relentlessly filled his mouth. He tried to shake his head but he was held strongly in place, it soon became clear that he wasn’t going anywhere until these hands were satisfied that he had drank every drop of milk. Giving up hope on stopping this humiliating and disgusting drink David started sucking more forcefully and drawing the milk into his mouth faster. He thought a few times that he could taste the thicker and saltier contents of his drink but after all the shaking he felt sure it was his mind playing tricks on him. Either way it didn’t make this horrible drink any easier to finish. The bottle just didn’t seem to end and his reflexive swallowing soon became laboured as his already tired body struggled to keep up with the pace. Finally and mercifully David swallowed the last of the milk and felt only air come through the bottle. He almost felt like he could feel the massive amount of milk sloshing around inside himself as his body tried to process everything it had absorbed. David tried to push the knowledge of what was in the milk far from his mind to stop himself from feeling sick. He was gasping for air by the time the bottle was pulled out of his mouth and the hands holding his head finally let go. David’s head flopped forward and he saw a long trail of sticky milk and saliva fall out of his mouth and on to the floor. “Can I go?” David said in barely more than a whisper, “What do you want from me?” Whether the hands could hear what David was saying or not they didn’t seem to react to what he was saying. There was a second where nothing happened and David could almost relax before the gloved hands that had held him in the air finally started to move him. David was given no more control over his body than before and with a belly full of milk he wanted to move as little as possible. He was taken backwards, further into the room as he was forced to submit to the will of his captors. They carried him backwards and then held him horizontally in the air with David looking up at the ceiling, after everything that had happened he barely had the energy to hold his head up anymore. Slowly David saw the ceiling move further away as he was lowered down towards what he assumed would be the floor. He was surprised when he found a hard surface above the floor covered in a soft foam and plastic. David looked around to see that he was on a long table and he was soon held down with each of his limbs being pulled towards a different corner of the surface. Despite David’s fear of what might happen next he felt relieved that he was laying on something rather than being suspended in mid-air, his limbs hurt from the way they were being held. The exhausted man allowed himself a brief flicker of hope that the mechanical captors would let him go but he was quickly disabused of that notion when he saw a couple of hands start pulling things off the shelves below him. David frowned as he tried to look over and see what they were doing, he couldn’t see over the edge but he didn’t have to wait long to find out what was happening. “No! I don’t need that!” David made renewed efforts to pull away from these strong hands, “Stop!” It was pointless to shout but David did it anyway. He shouted loudly and unintelligibly but it didn’t make a single iota of difference. The mechanical hands lifted up a thick disposable diaper and started unfolding it whilst other hands brought up a bottle of baby powder and a container of baby wipes. David could do nothing but wriggle slightly as the objects were set up at the foot of the table. He tried to kick them off but he couldn’t move enough to do so, he was utterly trapped as the hands unfolding the diaper began to move closer to his naked crotch. The diaper crinkled loudly and as the hands lifted up David’s feet he got a close up look at his own crotch. He could hear the diaper being slid up the table and David struggled again, his eyes were full of tears that he couldn’t wipe away. They stung his eyes as he twisted and pulled desperately. David was lowered back down and instead of the pleasantly cold plastic of the changing table he felt a much warmer padded feeling. He shuddered as he realised he was sitting in a blown up version of a baby diaper, he could hear it crinkle whenever he moved his waist. It felt big already and it hadn’t even been put on. David looked down through his wet eyes just in time to see his genitals become encased in the diaper. He felt the padding against the skin all over his crotch and as the sides were pulled up he was soon taped into the diaper just like a baby. “You bastards!” David yelled as his anger and frustration bubbled over, “I’ll rip this fucking thing off as soon as I can!” David saw the hands pause suddenly as he spoke and then two shot up into the ceiling. He felt like he had made a mistake in yelling and his suspicions were confirmed seconds later when he saw the hands descending again. They were carrying something that he couldn’t make out from the table, they got lower and lower until they were right over David’s crotch and that was when the man heard the clinking metal of a chain. David’s legs were lifted again as a medium sized chain was slipped around his waist tightly and locked together. David saw the key leave with one of the gloved hands back into the ceiling and he closed his eyes, he had just made it much harder to get out of this humiliatingly infantile underwear. “I’ve got some money!” David yelled to no one in particular, “My parents have more… Just let me go and I’ll give you whatever you want!” There was no sign that anyone or anything holding David captive here had heard him and he was soon lifted off the changing table with a mixture of crinkling diapers and clanking chains. He could feel the large padding being pushed against his crotch by the chain, the soft absorbent material seemed to wrap around his still very sensitive dick as he was carried through the air towards the wall on the far side of the room. David couldn’t see where he was going and he tried to look over his shoulder for some signs of whatever was planned for him. He couldn’t see anything as he was jerked around through the air. As well as the four hands that were lifting him he could see a swarm of many more following like an excited crowd of onlookers. The soft mechanical whirring of the machines was only made creepier by the way they lightly echoed off the walls. David’s horizontal progress was only halted when he felt his head bang into the wall. He exclaimed loudly as his head pushed against the solid surface before the limbs started lowering him slowly. For one hopeful minute David thought they were putting him down on the ground to let him go but he was deeply mistaken and as he was lowered he saw bars raising up all around him. When David was just a foot from the floor he felt the strong grip that held him in the air suddenly release and he fell against a metal surface on the floor. As soon as he hit the ground he heard a loud bang and looked up to see a lid on top of the cage had clanged down and locked him in. David pressed against the solid metal roof but was unable to move it.

There have been a lot of those. Usually, over the last couple of decades, someone has spread a rumor about some given "it girl" of the era. Around the time Speed came out, there were rumors about Sandra Bullock needing diapers. At one point it was Twain, and recently, it's been Katy Perry. If you've ever read a blurb about her wearing diapers in high school, you've probably read about Samuel L. Jackson, Helena Bohnam Carter, and Steven King as well. Essentially, modern journalism has become copying things from other sites, and re-wording it slightly. In each case, an original source is never sited; but it seems believable, because since we've been young, we've been indoctrinated, through school, that the published word is truth. There were similar rumors about Japan having adult diapers about to outsell baby diapers, and young women wearing diapers to compete with the higher-capacity bladders of men in the workplace, or to be seen as less meek and feminine. I researched both of those suspicious stories, which played off of racial, and gender-based stereotypes, which is a big tip-off for what is now called "fake news," and found the origins. The latter was from a Japanese equivalent to The Onion, or National Lampoon. The notion that baby diapers were to be outsold by adult diapers in Japan came from fact that one of their adult diaper company's left the market (it might have been Attento, Proctor & Gamble's Japanese Attends brand, which was the sole adult brand they retained after selling Attends to Paper-Pak,) while a less successful baby diaper brand filled the gap. Thus, that one company was to sell more adult diapers, than baby diapers, and it was repeatedly misreported. Edit: I forgot to add that Carter actually did admit to wearing diapers (probably Depend Underwear) after her pregnancy when she played in a Harry Potter film. Every time she screamed, which was in the script, the exertion caused her to wet herself. So if you go back, and watch that film, whichever one she was in, know that every time you see her scream, she's peeing in a diaper under her costume.

Thanks for the catch and kind comments I should also note this story is a semi-sequel to my last story the wait, it's meant to be the same characters at least, if not narratively connected. I think I'm going to try writing a few more short stories with them before I try anything longer. - for anyone who missed this story.

Chapter Thirty-One: Abe wouldn't let me get close during the event, but by the time twenty spankings had landed on Leona’s frilly bottom, after Betsy had made my girlfriend stand up in sobs and curtsy and say sorry to Becky, after she left her alone with a smug smile, I was on her like white on rice. I lifted her up onto the picnic table and cuddled her close and tight. How dare she spank my baby... "I wanna go home," I muttered to Jackie in a tone I was growing all too familiar with. A childish resonance, with a hint of embarrassment. Regression. I felt small and vulnerable and pathetic. I just... I just wanted Jackie to hold me. So that's what she did. Until Simon - Becky's stupid friend from the stupid Bed Bath & Beyond store - came up with a pacifier and pushed it between my lips. I looked up at him with a mixture of hopelessness and frustration. "Simon," I chided at him, more viciously than I thought I probably should have, "would you go up to someone’s baby in public and push something in their mouth?" I took the binky from Leona’s lips, sucked it like a parent, and offered it back to her - but with the onus on allowing her to take it. When had I got so protective? But Betsy took no time in coming over to shoot me down. "Well, Jackie, don't worry - she's my baby, and I don't mind Simon helping. Now I think it's time for Baby Luvs to go play. You can leave her to me, alright?" I looked up at Betsy and then at Jackie, sucking softly on the newly offered pacifier. It seemed like they were at war. War over me? Oh... But a new voice snapped me out of my introspection. A woman in dark eyeliner had leaned down in front of me, with a wide grin. "You look gorgeous today!" "Um... fank you," I muttered around the pacifier. She looked familiar... hadn't I met her somewhere before? "I found the site and I saw that there was a livestream today and I just had to come see you, and your manager, I guess? He wanted to charge me but I was like no way just let me come for free I'll even be on camera and then he was like sure so here I am and you are just freaking ADORABLE." Alright, but who the heck was this woman? I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to figure her out; she looked a little familiar but nothing came to mind. I sighed and shrugged, letting out a deep breath; cameras weren't paying any attention to me - I didn't matter. I was just a photographer. And I think that... that hurt. Because I wanted to be more. I was better than Betsy... The girl from the bathroom at the mall! That's who she was! Ugh, this couldn't get any more humiliating. But the next minute, she took my hand and pulled me to my wobbly feet. I fell into her and she supported my weight. "My, my. You still have problems walking? I suppose that's how babies are sometimes..." It seemed like she was talking more to herself sometimes. It felt very... diminishing. "Let's go to the playground - I'll push you on the swings!" I looked back at Jackie and Betsy for help, but neither of them stepped in to save me. Push her on the swing?! Wait! Grr. I stopped myself, but my hands were balled up at my sides as she took my girlfriend off across the park to the swings and the camera crew followed. I guess I had a job to do, too, huh? I futzed with my camera for a few moments before following. When the woman had gotten to the swings with Baby Luvs, she introduced herself. "I'm Aims, and you're adorable, Baby Luvs. The cutest baby I've ever seen. Do you wanna see if you can touch the sky? I bet I can push you so high that you can!" "I dun like heights," I confessed quietly to Aims, but she either couldn't understand me around the pacifier or she didn't care. After plopping me down in the swing, she started to push me and I realized very quickly that my feet couldn't touch the ground. I sucked harder on the pacifier and clung to the chains of the swing, looking nervously at Jackie as she snapped a photo. I took a few photos, and I used the lens to watch Leona on the swing. Look. Click. Look. Click. I realized something, though: I realized that she wasn't having fun. She wasn't enjoying herself. Her knuckles were white. Her expression uncertain. She was sucking on her pacifier and her eyes look in a different direction in each photo, until eventually they were closed. "Hey let's check out the slide?" I suggested. "Maybe you could help her up the fort to the slide?" What was her name? I didn't catch it. But she stopped pushing and thought for a moment, before nodding. "Alright camera chick, we can do that. C'mon Baby Luvs." When the swing stopped, my knees were shaky. I fumbled to catch my balance, but Jackie and Aims were quick to hold me by the hands, like a child learning to walk. I couldn't look up at either of them. Aims pushed me too high, and I... I shuffled shamefully away from the swings as I felt the thick, warm cloth between my legs, knowing full well I couldn't help wetting myself in fear. Every moment in this documentary, I felt like I was slipping. And now, my adulthood was finally out of reach... "Let's get you up the fort, okay?” The goth girl grinned, but Leona cuddled close into me the moment she tried to pull her away. Which only made Aims pull harder. "Hey Luvlee," Like, Luvs and Leona, I continued. “What's the matter, are you scared? Do you want me to come up? Or do you want me to stand at the bottom and catch you?" Life had gotten so weird. I was willingly a part of this. I was willingly on video, featuring this girl I'd fallen utterly in love with, that I was treating like an actual child right now. I looked up at Jackie and then up at the slide nervously. The slide wasn't high. The slide was for children. It was hardly big at all. But the fear of the swing kept a constant hold on me. "At the bottom, pwease," I muttered around the pacifier, sucking it for comfort. No matter where I searched for my maturity, I couldn't find it. Ugh, snap out of it Leona! Aims took her up the stairs, holding both of her hands and walking behind her, guiding each step in the most childish way possible. And when she got to the top of the stairs, when my Leona sat at the top of the very small slide, her eyes were wide as saucers, like this was a mountain and she was facing down it. I stood at the bottom and waved at her, taking a picture, before getting focused. "You can do it, Baby Luvs, you can do it my little Luvlee. Don't worry, Mommy will catch you." Mommy. I said it on camera. Fuck. Whatever, who cares? Leona came first. And when she came down the slide, I was going to catch her. She was mine. The rush of air was more exciting than I thought. The feeling of free falling as I slid down the slide. But I'd been down a hundred slides a hundred times and they never felt anything like that. This documentary was getting to me. It was messing with my head. But at the bottom, Jackie was there. She caught me in her arms and pulled me into a hug. She was warm and safe and I was so happy she had been there. It was only for a moment... just one, stupid moment. But that one moment could change everything. Because, for that moment, I wondered if maybe I really wanted this. If maybe... I was destined to be her little girl. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Like & Comment! Please also consider supporting us on Patreon!

Since I posted the last couple chapters there were a lot of things keeping me from writing. I had actually finished this chapter back in August, but didn’t want to post it without anything else in the pipeline. I have another chapter basically done that I hope to post next weekend, or the following. Work is still hectic right now, but hopefully I’ll be able to get back to a regular posting schedule by January! Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy! Chapter 37 I WATCHED IN horror at the fact that Megan’s short Amazonian frame was dwarfed by the girl who yelled at her. I swallowed my fear though to let go of the rope and began walking towards Megan anyway. The brown haired Amazon seemed to be just a bit taller than Amanda, making Megan look like a little in comparison. Her body was very plump with breasts that couldn’t seem to stay contained inside of her ill-fitting top. “I’m here to pick up my niece,” Madison said warily. “Oh, I thought maybe you figured out you should be joining the littles?” the girl said nastily. “I’m not the one that feels the need to move in with them? I’m in a big girls dorm.” Megan countered. “Now if you don’t mind I’m going to pick up my niece… Unfortunately I’m sure we’ll see each other in classes next week…” She chose that moment to pick me up protectively and held me on her hip, “Where are you going with her?” Madison asked testily having turned around to see her leaving with me now. “Ms. Madison, this is my Auntie Megan, my mommy asked for her to pick me up.” “That’s true?” Madison asked Megan. “Yep Madison, I’d stay and talk but I promised my sister we’d go take care of some things after I picked up my niece.” “What’s going on here?” Mrs. Beauregard asked as she came of the hall. “I’m trying to figure out what this runt is doing with a student little that can’t be adopted,” the large girl said. “I’m picking up my niece to watch her for my sister, Ma’am,” Megan said politely. “And you are?” She asked me. “Stacy Westerfield,” I told her. “Oh… you…” she said with a tone that made me more than slightly nervous after the last hour and a half. She looked at the large Amazon girl, “Did she confirm this was her aunt?” “Yes she did,” Madison said to our side holding onto the line of our nest. “I know her mommy said it was okay for her to pick her up. I just hadn’t officially met her yet… Megan, right?” “That’s me,” Megan said nervously. “Well, we can’t all stand here all day, seems like everything’s okay, move along now.” Madison walked away then and I whispered, “Who is she?” “A conniving two faced bitch,” she told me softly as we exited past the littles who stared at us for the confrontation and my position being carried by a short giant. I waved at a few of my new friends as she carried me away and down the sidewalks towards the dorms. “Let’s just say I’m nearly a betweener in height according to some of the girls I’m in classes with.” She hissed, “They think that means I might as well be a little then… Last year I helped tutor her when she was failing a math class. For some reason then she turned around and stabbed me in the back with a professor in another class. If it wasn’t for Mandy I might have been expelled…” “What’s her name?” “You mean two-faced bitch doesn’t count?” She laughed and I had to giggle too. She was such a breath of fresh air since she wasn’t talking to me like I was a baby who it was inappropriate to swear near. “Nancy Dannigan,” she said, “avoid her at all costs if you can. By the end of the year she almost always has several of her girls from her nest breastfeeding from her in the cafeteria. Anytime someone questions it she says they asked her to… Let’s just say that’s not long before they go missing to wherever it is littles get stolen away to…” “I’m not surprised,” I told her. She walked along for a few more minutes before saying, “So we have about an hour and a half to kill, what do you want to do besides change that wet diaper you’re wearing?” “Pour bleach in my ears so that I can forget about what I just heard in that seminar?” I said sarcastically. “That’s the one where they basically point out you’re better off letting yourself be adopted out rather than continue as a student?” “You’ve been there for it?” “No, but I’ve made some friends with littles over the years and heard about it. It’s despicable and that woman is about as awful as anyone can get. I think she’s actually worse than Chloe and Cassie…” “That’s low,” I said, “but about right.” She gave me a squeeze and I watched passively as she carried me down the sidewalk to her dorm. Megan sat me down outside the doors and touched her keycard to the sensor before holding open the massive door for me. “Hey Megan!” a friendly voice said as we walked to an elevator. “Hi Raileigh,” she said in response and I looked to another fairly short Amazon who was still taller than Megan. Her blonde hair was hanging from a messy ponytail and she seemed to have been working out. “Who’s this?” she asked curiously as she joined us waiting for the elevator. “She’s adorable!!!!” “Raileigh this is Stacy,” she introduced me, “Stacy this is my neighbor Raileigh.” “Nice to meet you,” I said politely. “You too… but who is she?” she asked Megan suspiciously. “Oh, my niece,” she told her, “she’s going to school here.” “Your niece…?” she asked. “My sister adopted her as a sort of exchange student deal.” “So you mean she really is a student?” She asked curiously as she stared down at me. “Yes, I am,” I told her myself a little annoyed at being talked about. “Sorry…” she said bending down, “my only encounters with littles are my brothers at home… they don’t do much but poop and pee in their diapees…” I sighed, “I hope to make more of my life than that.” “Umm… You do know how small you are, right?” The girl asked in an incredulous tone. “There’s no way you’re going to graduate?” I smiled, “I will do it, I’m more than capable.” Megan picked me up then and hugged me, “She’s smarter than you would believe. She placed out of the first two semesters of math, she might even be in your calculus class actually, you’re taking the third semester again, right?” I watched the poor girl blush, “Yeah… Math is just not my strong suit…” She paused, “I’m sorry for mocking you there… Maybe we could work together sometime?” I smiled, “I’d be happy to if we can figure out how... You might have to come to my house.” “I’d like that… Megan’s a good friend of mine…” she paused as we reached a door that led to some other closed and locked doors, “I’ll see you later though.” Megan used her card key on a card reader panel and opened up a large dorm room with a single bed, desk, closet, and TV obvious at first. The next most obvious thing though was the princess pink theme throughout the room with a glittery tiara decal at the head of her bed. “I didn’t realize you were a princess fanatic,” I told her with a smirk. “Obviously since I am the baby of the family, I am the true princess,” she told me with her own smirk. “I’m guessing you don’t use those words too much around your sisters?” She shrugged as she picked me up and sat down with me on her gigantic bed, “I’m the baby sister and I know it. I also know I am short… But for the most part I’m never really that worried about it.” “Do you ever worry…?” “What? That they’ll really go ahead and decide to baby me?” Megan laughed. “I know it sounds silly…” She shook her head, “Actually it happened once with Cassie when Mandy had moved out and Mom and Dad were gone for a weekend. I was ten and she was the only one around that could stay with me. I accidentally spilled a coke on her and she became livid. Next thing I knew I was in diapers and she was attempting to get me to drink out of a baby bottle.” “Where did diapers big enough to fit you even come from?” I asked. She shrugged, “I was small enough then that I easily just fit in the largest size regular baby diapers. I guess she had a few in her car from babysitting the week before.” “How’d you get out of that?” She smirked, “I gave her the baby she wanted and let loose a load in the diaper that made her puke. When she refused to clean me up I said, ‘Guess I’m not being babysat anymore,’ and stood up, untaped the diaper, and shoved it on her shirt before I calmly walked back to my bathroom to take a shower.” “What did she do then?” “Once she got over her shock she began pounding on the door to my room. I ended up hiding in my room after the shower and called Mom to let her know about it…” “What did she say?” “She… wasn’t happy… let’s just say that was the last time Cassie was a babysitter for me.” I shuddered, “both of your sisters other than Amanda…” “I know, right?” She shrugged, “So we have about an hour before we have to go, anything you want to do?” I shrugged, “I hadn’t made it any further with planning. Plus the afternoon kind of put a downer on any thoughts I might have had.” She looked at me for a second and smiled, “You don’t have your nails painted, do you?” I held my hands out to her, “Umm… no… kind of surprising actually given how girly girl Amanda likes dressing me.” She smiled, “Well, in that case it’s my solemn auntie duty to fix this terrible act of neglect!” I watched from my perch as she went to a drawer and pulled out a mini (to her) milk crate of nail polishes and tools. Before she sat back down next to me she asked, “How’s your diaper doing?” I shrugged, “It’s wet…” “Do you want me to change it? I can let you do it too?” I looked at her for a moment before saying, “You’d be quicker?” She smiled and made quick work of it before beginning to work on my nails. She filed them to a round shape before she painted a base coat of forest green that matched the school colors. A yellow E was then carefully painted on my thumbnails, while she put some other little squiggles on the other nails. My hands were so tiny compared to hers I considered her patience impressive. “There, now you look cute!” She told me with a smile before glancing a clock on the wall. “And now it’s time to get you to that meeting too…” “Thanks Megan,” I told her and gave her a hug. “You’re welcome Stacy,” she said as she quickly put away her supplies. “That diaper still good?” I nodded, not having needed to go since she changed me. “Okay then, let’s go meet your friend.” She hustled me out of there with my backpack on and walked quickly down to an area in the student union where meeting rooms were. A large sign outside the room said, “Lambda Delta Pi welcome party.” As Amanda and I approached a girl at the front looked up angrily, “This isn’t a party for Amazons,” she told her. “She’s just escorting me here,” I told her calmly bringing her attention back to me. The girl was dressed in a nice dress and had a light white jacket on that had the Greek Letters ΛΔΠ embroidered on it in. A gold pin was prominent on her jacket that I guessed was a sorority pin based on what little I knew about such organizations back home. “And you are…?” She asked. “Stacy Westerfield, Sarah Evans invited me?” “We’ll see about that…” she said suspiciously and called out, “Sarah?” Sarah came out shortly dressed similarly, “Hi Stacy!” before looking a little shaken at the short giant next to me. “Umm… I’m sorry, but Lambda Delta Pi is only for littles?” Megan laughed, “No worries, I’ll leave her here.” She looked at me and said, “Amanda should be here for you at five-thirty. If you need to leave before then call me.” I walked over and hugged her as she leaned down and then walked back to the stunned expression of the girl. “Are you crazy?” The other girl asked a moment later, “she only wants to adopt you!” I laughed, “Somehow I think her sister wouldn’t be too happy with that.” Sarah laughed too, “Yeah, and she’s a lot bigger!” “What’s so funny?” the girl asked. “Relax Jess, we’re laughing because Stacy is already adopted.” “Then what is she doing here?” Jess the girl panicked, “she’s probably just trying to get dirt so her mommy can swoop in…” I held my hand up, “Stop, I’m not your average little, and my ‘mommy’ isn’t your average Amazon. I’m here as kind of an exchange student from the other dimension. I knew I didn’t want to live in the dorms and not have a chance of anything other than being a mindless baby in a nursery, so I found a pair of crazy Amazon parents to foster me while I’m here.” “You’re from the other dimension?” Her eyes looked me up and down, “Is that why you’re so tiny?” Sarah asked curiously. I shook my head and shrugged, “No idea what went wrong.” “Well, let’s try this again,” Sarah said with a sigh, “Jess this is Stacy, Stacy this is Jess. Jess is one of our senior members this year and she’s a bit paranoid about adoption this close to the finish line.” I nodded, “I can understand that…” “S… sorry,” Jess said sheepishly, “I’m just convinced everyone is against us.” “Well that’s the whole point of our sisterhood Jess.” “If that’s the whole point then why invite her?” She asked suspiciously. “I was wondering the same thing,” I asked curiously. “For that you would have to join Stacy… Jess I’ll tell you later.” I looked up suspiciously, “Am I being setup for something here?” She shook her head, “we just hold our secrets of our sisterhood dear. Come on in and meet everyone,” she told me and ushered me forward to a room with little sized tables filled with hors d'oeuvres. With as short as I was it seemed like they were still adult tables compared to me. I watched Sarah bite into a loaded potato skin before considering if I would want to eat anything there. “It’s all safe Stacy, we prepared it all ourselves.” I shrugged knowing I didn’t have class anyways and grabbed a few things and let her lead me around the room introducing me to their officers and about two-dozen members. It seemed like there were only a few sophomores that were members that were being sought after. I cornered Sarah after a while, “Why am I the only freshman?” “Most of the time we give everyone a year to shake out if they’re going to be stupid and get adopted or if they have a chance to survive graduation.” “And me?” “You’re already adopted and safer than any of us will ever be…” she paused, “And, I liked how gutsy you were when I met you.” She smiled, “Not to mention you have really cute nails!” “Thanks, my ‘auntie’ did them for me earlier.” I continued circulating around the room after that and learned that the girls didn’t have a house to stay in obviously since they were littles, but that they were allowed to live on the same floor next to each other. Somehow they also seemed to have managed to avoid having too invasive of RAs babying them. One of the officers, Lisa, sat down with me and asked me some questions. “How did you do on your tests this week?” “Pretty good,” I told her. “Numbers?” I looked at her and got the feeling I was being evaluated as a piece of meat at a cattle show. It had been pretty apparent so far that I was being recruited by Sarah to become a member, but not everyone else seemed sure that the idea of an adopted little being around was a good idea. “Which test?” “Math placement?” “One-ninety,” I answered her. “Bull shit?” She said. I laughed, “I’m good at math.” “No kidding, you’re telling me the truth?” I dug into my bag and pulled out the paper copy I had. My computer science placement test and CARE exams were right there too and she just shook her head, “Are you a robot from the future or something?” I giggled, “No, just a plain old little girl.” “So what’s with your adoption? She’s a professor, right?” I nodded, “And my adopted daddy is a doctor.” “And you’re okay with being adopted?” “It beats being taken off the streets? Or forcibly put into the daycare and orphanage here?” She nodded, “Yeah… so what happens if you demerit out?” I shrugged, “I don’t honestly know or plan to find out. Hopefully I would just be told I had to go back to daycare, but I suppose they could use that as a reason for LPS to take me away. I haven’t really considered it that much though.” “And how much… Umm…” “How much have I been babied?” She grimaced but her head went up and down. “Basically everything they would do with a baby my size I’ve done, leave it at that?” “Including breast feeding?” She asked with a hiss. “Yes…” “Currently?” I pouted unintentionally, “No… Mo… Amanda doesn’t want me to have a poopy accident in class.” “Keep it that way! That milk is highly addictive and you won’t have any control over your body in a month.” “I kind of liked that with my urine,” I told her. “Why?” “You may have noticed I’m even smaller than you. Potties my size don’t exist commercially.” “Or at all…” she agreed. “Well… I made one actually…” I ended up telling her the story of the incident from last week and she laughed with me. Soon several other girls were there and I alternated laughing and cringing as I heard stories from their own misadventures with Amazons. Some were from before college and, and others at the university. Every single one of them had been diapered and endured some other babying at some point before they joined. From talking to them it seemed like life got better for them after they joined… “So what do you all actually do as a group?” I asked finally noting that it was getting close to time for dinner. “Mainly we hang out and help each other out academically. If we need to go shopping for something we go in a large group of so that we can cover for each other. Generally we all work together to get good grades and escape Emerson without ending up in the nursery,” Jess said. “Though in your case I don’t know what the goal would be…” “Graduating and helping you all out?” I said. “How can you help us? You’re already in diapers and a nursery?” Jess asked. I smirked, “I’m pretty good with computers… let’s just say I would make a good ally?” “How good?” she asked. “I tested out of a lot of classes?” “You’d need to, that department is the worst at letting littles pass…” Sarah said. “Huh?” I responded. “Doctor Wernstrom seems to be single handedly responsible for a dozen or more littles being kicked out each year. As far as I know I don’t think a single little has made it through one of his classes…” “He was an ass,” I agreed, “I’m glad I tested out of all of his classes.” “All of them?” Jess said. “There’s like four or five of them?!?” I smiled, “I could be of value?” I then asked, “So how many of your members actually graduate?” “Most of the time we get ninety-five percent of our members to graduation,” Sarah said matter-of-factly. “Last year everyone graduated that had joined from the class.” “Cool,” I said. A tall Amazonian man with graying hair came in just then, “Time to wrap it up girls,” he said in a kind voice. “Don’t want to miss your official dinner and have your RA screaming at us.” With that everyone broke up and I walked out to see Amanda waiting outside. She waited patiently by a pillar a little ways away and I turned to say goodbye to Lisa who had followed me out. “Thanks for having me,” I told her. “Thanks for coming Stacy… I think we’ll be in touch about some other events coming up if you’re interested?” I smiled, “If you all can help me be sure to graduate then I’m definitely interested!” She smiled, “Is that your amazon?” “Yes, that’s Amanda.” “I assume you call her Mommy?” She asked nervously. “Well it helps with blending in…” “I guess…” she said unconvinced, “Well we’ll see you around,” she said and gave me a quick friendly hug, “It was nice meeting you!” I walked over to Amanda who asked, “Did you have fun?” as we walked away. “I did actually,” I told her. After we had exited the building she couldn’t help herself and picked me up to place me on her hip. “Ready for dinner?” “What are we having?” “Your baby sister suggested Chinese food?” I shrugged, “That works for me.” “What do you want?” “Sweet and spicy chicken?” I paused for a second, “Extra spicy?” “Sure you want spicy?” I nodded, “I like spicy food.” “You haven’t had anything we consider spicy yet?” I shrugged, “you have milk if I get in over my head…” She laughed, “well I guess we do have that.” She hugged me tight and carried me the rest of the way to the car, felt my diaper under my dress, and laid me down without warning in the back of her SUV and changed my diaper. As my rear end was hanging in the air an amazon girl I had seen at the math placement test gaped at me and waved. I turned bright red and stayed that way as Amanda buckled me into my car seat. She kissed me on the forehead, “Sorry, but it’s going to happen…” she lightly grabbed my hand then and said, “Megan always was good at nails, I’m guessing she did these for you?” “Yes she did,” I told her still flushed red. “They look cute, remember to keep your thumb out of your mouth though with that polish on. I’m guessing it’s not the safe kind for babies that still suck on their thumbs.” I turned red and sighed. I killed some time with the game on my watch as she drove us home. I’d walked a lot and had a fair amount of coins to spend. “So how did this afternoon’s session go?” she asked as she stopped at a red light. “We learned all about how we could choose to go into an adoption of our choice instead of being sent through an etiquette center…” I told her. “Oh, and five minutes on job placement services available if we manage to beat the odds…” “I had a feeling it would be something like that when I found out who ran it. She once offered me the ‘pick of the litter’ if I would help her out on a project.” “What did you do?” “I politely declined saying I appreciated the offer but had too many things on my plate right then…” The rest of the drive home she asked about the sorority event and even what I had done with Megan. “I like them, may I join them if they ask?” “You wouldn’t be able to live in the dorms with them…?” “I know, but I can still go to events and meetings maybe?” “We’ll have to see… if they give you a bid we’ll talk then.” She pulled into the driveway at the house just then and carried me inside with my backpack. “It’ll be a little bit until the food gets here, why don’t you go upstairs until then?” “Thanks,” I told her and started my slow and methodical climb up the stairs with my backpack on. I could almost pretend to be climbing a mountain or something with a pack and it felt like an accomplishment every time I made it up the ten steps. I walked down to our nursery and found Bella engrossed in playing with a tablet. “Hey,” she said, “how was the rest of today?” “Well the afternoon session was awful, but I liked the sorority sisters that I got to hang out with. Megan is cool as always too and she painted my nails,” I showed her. “Those are cute… I’m amazed that she could paint that small!” I stuck my tongue out at her and she giggled in response. She went back to her game and I sat down at my desk and logged into my laptop. I surreptitiously made sure to look around and saw she was well engrossed in her game and began working on a few projects I needed to do. The first was hacking into the video baby monitor in the room and the security cameras outside. It took me a few minutes but I setup a routine that would let me get some alerts if someone was in either area. In this case it also let me discreetly warn myself if someone was coming to check on me! I made sure every now and then that Bella was occupied and she seemed well engrossed in her playing. Amanda was downstairs still as far as I could tell waiting for the deliveryman with our dinner, while Fred seemed to be in his office working on something. Other than coming to close the gate that should have been closed before, neither seemed to want to intrude while we waited. ‘Can I access the nanites still…’ was a burning question to me. I quickly found myself accessing my copy of the coding that had been used. Just as I was about to figure out how to access a connection to them I heard the gate open and quickly shortcut keyed myself to a safe screen and hid what I had been working on. Amanda unlocked the gate, “Ready for dinner you two?” She asked before sniffing. “Uh-oh, Bella, did you make a stinky?” I turned and looked at the reddening Bella who I hadn’t even noticed that she’d pooped her diaper. “Yes Mommy,” she said timidly. “Well let’s get you changed real quick, Stacy, how’s your diaper?” I felt underneath my skirt and confirmed what I thought, “I’m dry, can I go downstairs?” “Sure, we’ll be down in a moment,” she told me. I pressed another quick shortcut key as she turned towards the changing table with the red Bella and walked down the hallway and hopped my way down the stairs. Fred walked up to me when I reached the bottom and picked me up to deposit me into the highchair. “Mommy said you wanted the sweet and spicy chicken?” He asked a little surprised. “Why is that so surprising?” I asked “Littles like sweet usually, but spicy is usually something they can’t tolerate?” He paused, “I think I remember a study once done on littles showed that their tastebuds were more inline with our young toddlers… I know much of the time they’re biased, but sometimes there’s a grain of truth in them?” “I loved spicy food back home…” I told him with a shrug, “Like I told Mommy, if I can have a cup of milk I’ll be able to deal with it even if it is spicy?” “It’s your tongue, don’t say I didn’t warn you!” he said with a smile before putting a sippy cup of milk on my tray. That was joined a second later with a small plate of chicken and rice. I could see some large peppers mixed in and noted that they were much bigger than I was used to. A pair of chopsticks was handed to me and I began eating. I had just finished a couple pieces of chicken as Amanda walked downstairs. The spice was not nearly as bad as I was afraid it would be. Really it was only one step above mild in my mind, and wondered if it was due to the fact smaller the chile pods were, the spicier they were back home. These were as big as poblanos… “How can you eat that?” Bella said as Amanda slid her tray in place. “What?” “It’s spicy… Look at those peppers, I’d be crying by now.” I shook my head, “It’s not spicy at all to me…” Amanda curiously took a piece of the chicken out of the container and tasted it. I watched while her face lit up, “You call that not spicy?!?” She quickly guzzled some water. Fred looked inquisitely and took his own taste and seemed to agree it was pretty hot. For my part I looked at a piece of the large chile pepper and decided to go for it. Amanda said, “Noooo…” as I crunched happily down on it. My mouth lit up in a wonderful sensation that let me know I was alive and I smiled, “You really have to get out more if you think this is spicy…” I shook my head and kept eating while they stared at me in shock and began eating their own meals. I was full and a little bit remained in a takeout box. Bella asked, “Can… can I try it?” “I don’t think that’s a good idea sweetie…” Amanda said. “I think you’ll cry a lot…” Fred added. “Stacy seems to have some odd taste buds…” She looked at me and I shrugged, “I’ve always been the wrong person to ask. If they think it’s spicy then it probably is to them and you?” “Please?” She asked. “It’s your funeral…” Amanda said with a shake of her head and put a tiny piece of chicken on the tray in front of her. Bella looked at it before tentatively popping a small amount in her mouth and instantly turned red with tears pouring down her face. “Hot!!!!!” she cried… “Mommy give her my milk,” I told Amanda who looked panicked. She did as I told her to do and Bella guzzled it for several long moments before the crying became a whimper. “Better?” Amanda asked as she now cuddled her in her lap. “Sort of… You really aren’t a normal little…” Bella said to me. “We could have some fun with this though…” Fred said looking at me mischievously. “Conning people into betting what I can eat?” I smiled widely at him. Just then I felt the need to pee and let it out in my diaper. “Something like that…” “You two…” Amanda said disgruntled while she cuddled Bella. “So what are you doing tomorrow?” Fred asked us, “There’s nothing on the orientation schedule, right?” I shook my head, “We’re done until Monday when classes start I think…” “Dad called earlier and he wants me to bring Stacy by in the morning to his studio and spend the day with her until his afternoon classes start.” I looked at her, “I’m glad we can finally work out a time…” “Well it’s going to be more often starting next week, but he thinks it’s a good idea to go ahead and evaluate you. He wants me to drop you off at nine…” “Cool,” I said. The rest of the weekend was roughly planned out over the next twenty minutes that we finished dinner. Sunday we would be going to her parents house for dinner again. After she dropped me off tomorrow she planned on going grocery shopping with Bella and Fred for things like diapers and food the next week. “Did you find a place for Bella to go?” I asked while looking at Bella. “The hospital daycare didn’t seem to be too bad?” Bella answered me. “You think you’ll be safe there?” She shrugged, “definitely better than the university daycare. Most of the ‘babies’ there were actual babies. There were only two other littles there and they said other than the normal baby treatment they’re treated well. Daddy can come check on me through the day too?” I nodded, “I can’t imagine that there are many better places than that then…” “I’m going to keep looking though,” Amanda said to both of us. “A friend mentioned there is a daycare that is supposed to just be for littles.” “That sounds like an etiquette school?” I asked worriedly. “It might be… so I’m going to keep researching it before we even go visit it,” she added. I sat there for another minute before I wanted to get down and back to my project, “May I get down and get back onto my computer?” She smiled and said, “I guess, why don’t you go ahead and e-mail your parents while you’re at it?” I grimaced, “You’re right, I’d better…” She wiped my hands and then Bella’s hands with baby wipes as she removed the highchair trays. Those out of the way she picked me up, putting me on one hip, before placing Bella on the other. Once upstairs in the nursery she sat Bella down on the floor and felt my diaper, “Hmm… someone needs changed, huh?” She tickled my side before setting me down on the changing table. “We should probably get in the habit of you changing into play clothes when you get home from school Stacy.” I nodded, “Okay…” I was given a diaper change into a new Pamper and dressed in a one-piece romper fit for a newborn. I just sighed though and let her dress me before she sat me down on the ground. “Remember, e-mail your mom,” she reminded me. I nodded and unplugged my computer to use it on battery and jumped onto my bed where I could have the wall to my back and my screen in front of me. I knew that Mom had probably e-mailed Amanda asking for an update, therefor prompting her reminder… so I e-mailed her first and filled her in on some of the events from the past few days. I didn’t want to worry her though so I kept the break-in and some of the discouraging information from today out of the e-mail. Mostly I let her know about course schedules and that I was alive. It was a shorter e-mail than some I had sent, but I still included my safe codes and knew she would be okay with it. After that I went back to my current project to see if I could connect to the nanites inside my body. Amazingly it seemed they were still able to respond to a signal if you could generate the right frequencies. My computer couldn’t do so by default, so I began looking to see if it was a coding or a hardware solution I would need to break. Bella was coloring something quietly while I worked, but I lost track of her as I continued digging for a software solution that would be easier to deal with. Her sudden weight on my bed was a shock and I quickly engaged a hide shortcut. “Whatcha doing?” she asked me. “Playing around with some of the coding software from this dimension,” I told her honestly. “I’m bored…” she told me. I sighed, “Sorry… I know how I felt the first couple days when I was getting full on babied, but at least I’m getting some mature time… You’re just stuck…” She nodded, “I knew it was inevitable… it could have been a lot worse actually…” “But it still sucks,” I said while mentally wondering if the filter I had installed on the monitor really would filter my usage of that word out… ‘I know there’s no way I can get rid of that word from my vocabulary!’ I had thought at the time. “Yeah… Play with me?” she asked. “Huh?” “You were a boy growing up, right?” I nodded. “So you have no idea how to play with dolls…? Right…?” “What’s with you and dolls?” I asked, “I thought girls grew out of them?” “Doesn’t mean we wanted to… I know of several of my friends that played with them still even when they were grown up… I had a collection of them hidden in my apartment even…” “Huh…” I said. I thought for a second and closed the lid of my computer, “I guess…” For the next hour or so we dug out a couple dolls from the toy chest and pretended we were the amazons and they were the littles… Actually I had a lot of fun with it before Amanda came into our room and said, “Bella it’s bath time and bedtime sweetie…” “What about Stacy?” she asked. “Stacy is a big college girl, she stays up later.” I thought for a second, “I could go ahead and take a bath with her though?” Amanda looked at me in surprise, “You sure?” I scooted over on my wet diaper closer to her and hugged her, “she’s fun.” She shrugged and said, “Okay then, let’s go down to the bath tub. Just remember she’s given shallower bath water,” she reminded me. I sighed, “We have got to teach her how to swim…” The water was embarrassingly low to me! Because I was at least shorter than Bella my belly button was covered, but the water barely covered her groin. I took care not to stare, but her chest was at least developed more than mine was. She caught me looking and said, “It’s okay to be curious…” I sighed, “What’s it like to have them?” She shrugged, “embarrassing when all of the big girls grow sooner and larger than yours. I was the smallest of my friends for the most part with even less to write home about. At least it doesn’t seem as necessary to remove them if they’re smaller though… I had one friend that I didn’t recognize when I saw her in just her diaper outside my old apartment building.” “They removed her breasts?” Amanda asked cautiously. “Well that, her teeth, hair, and I think the surgery for cutting the tendons so she couldn’t walk anymore…” “I just don’t get it…” I said aloud. “No, it really doesn’t make any sense,” Amanda agreed. Bath time was pretty short and Bella was dressed first into a diaper and a sleep sack before Amanda sat her on the floor and put me on the changing table. A thick princess diaper and a footed sleeper were zipped onto me. “Here, why don’t you take your computer down to my office and you can work there?” She suggested. I nodded and grabbed it from where I had replugged it in while playing with Bella. I also grabbed my tablet from my bag and toddled with the thick diaper on down to her office. She followed me to put me into the highchair. Before she did so I asked, “Mommy, can you move the highchair over there?” “Why?” “I like having a wall against my back?” I hesitated, “Especially with the break-in and everything?” She looked skeptical, but moved it over to the spot I’d pointed to anyway before setting me down, buckling me into the harness, putting the tray down, and setting the computer on the tray. “I’ll be back with a baba in a sec,” she said. I decided since she was coming back that I wanted to look into that place that little had been sent to earlier. It had been said so viciously that I remembered ‘Kidcraft’ was the name. I quickly covered my electronic trail with several routings of my IP address and VPNs before searching it. The website it brought up instantly made my skin crawl. Have a troublesome little that’s just not adjusting to your great home environment? Our three-week program will have your little bundle of joy behaving like a good baby in no time! We offer customization packages to change gender, dental remediation, mobility adjustments, and cosmetic packages that can be made permanent or temporary…’ I was just reading the next level of horror when Amanda came in with the bottle and peeked at the screen. “Looking for somewhere to go if you drop out?” She asked curiously. I shook my head, “This is where she demanded the little be sent to this afternoon…” “I’ve heard it’s one of the ‘best’ she said as she made quotations with her fingers.” “Worst more like it…” She nodded, “I’m going to go feed your sister, I’ll be back to check on you then. Make sure you drink that baba before I get back!” “Yes Mommy,” I told her and quickly got to work the moment she was gone. A quick scan made me sure my screen was out of view again and I began going at the changes that I needed to do to reach the frequency of the nanite remote software. I ended up piggybacking onto the tablet, which it turns out could generate the frequencies I needed, and finally within about twenty minutes had a connection established! ‘Whoa… I have access to all of the original settings and then some…’ I thought. ‘First things first… if I can access them so can anyone else…’ I began securing the connection and locking editing out with anything but my 256 digit access key. I used a special reminder system to keep track of what essentially ended up being a paragraph to gain access. Once done with that, I began digging into the original software some and found the code that had caused the baby fat on my face to appear. I looked at it for a while before programming an adjustment plan to make it disappear, and get my face mostly back to normal over the course of six-months. Faster than that and I was worried it would be obvious what was happening. I had just begun researching again into the reasons Amanda’s milk might cause incontinence when she came back in and I cleared what I was doing back to looking up textbooks for my new classes. “Mommy we need to buy some different textbooks for me, right?” “I almost forgot about that…” she said, “Hand me your tablet,” she said. Twenty minutes later she declared herself done and said, “Okay, bedtime Princess…” I sighed, “I’m really not tired…” “I know you’re not, but I am…” she said and hesitated… “Plus I thought since you don’t have classes until Monday… thought well… we could maybe give nursing another chance?” I looked at her both dumbfounded and wrought with an aching desire for the comfort of nursing from her and the addictive liquid, unsure of how I should respond… ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think with a like and/or a comment!

Chapter Two Emily looked in horror from Scott back to Nora. She took off like a shot towards the door, only to have her arm grabbed by Nora. She twisted it and Emily let out a scream of pain. “Stop! You’re hurting me!” “This is what all mothers must do, to keep their babies close.” Emily struggled in her grasp, kicking her legs as the tears welled up in them. “I’m not going to stay here! I’m marrying Scott! I love him!” Nora laughed, shaking her head. “Scott, tell this poor girl the truth.” Emily looked at Scott and saw the guilt in his eyes. He ducked his head and then swallowed. “Mother, may I have a minute?” He asked. “Just a minute. I’ll go check on Teddy, make sure all this fuss didn’t wake him up.” She released Emily from her grasp and the younger woman rubbed at her arm furiously as she walked out of the room. “Please,” Emily panted. “Tell me this is some sick joke.” “Emily, you’ve seen my mother. She’s domineering, smothering. She treats me like a child and she did the same thing with Janie. It started after our father died and she moved us to this neighborhood. Around here, they’re all near or fully grown children, living with their parents until kingdom come. It’s a little community of sorts. It’s protected by security, no one can escape.” “But you did. We met…you have a great job…” Scott sighed, running his fingers through his curls. “Three years ago, Janie and I tried to stick up for ourselves. We attempted to leave and it got us six months of nursery treatment.” “Nursery treatment? What is that?” “It’s…not important. Once it was over, Mother told us that she was going to give us a choice. We could stay here and continue to be her good little children or we could go out and find her replacements.” Emily felt her heart sink. “And that’s why you chose me.” “You’re young, small enough for Mother to carry. You were easy enough to fool, most girls meet mother and within 5 seconds run for the hills. You didn’t mind.” “You can’t just leave me here! It’s illegal! It’s…it’s kidnapping!” Emily stammered. “That’s why I went for the girl that had no family.” Emily swallowed. Come to think of it, on their first date, he had asked a lot of questions about her family and friends. It made her a bit uncomfortable as it was a bit of a sore subject. Both of her parents had been only children and they passed on when she was 15. One set of her grandparents had died off and the other set was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s by the time she started college. They didn’t remember that they once had a son, let alone a granddaughter. She didn’t have many friends either, none that would go looking for her. She was the perfect target. Emily ran to Scott. “Please,” she held onto his jacket. “You’ve lived this! You know this is hell! You can’t leave me here! Take me with you!” “Emily, Mother has security waiting at the gate at the front of the community. They’re searching my car before I leave. If they find you, we’ll both end up here. I can’t do this anymore. I am so sorry. Maybe…maybe one day she’ll set you free.” Scott headed for the door and Emily chased after him, only to have him push her backwards. She fell flat onto her ass and he made a beeline out the door. Emily was trying to get up, when suddenly, Nora appeared over her, a creepy smile on her face. “It’s alright, sweetheart, Mommy’s here.” “You’re not my mommy!” Emily screamed. She bit Nora’s ankle and tried to roll over to escape, but she found herself being lifted over her shoulder. Emily wiggled until she felt her pants being pulled down, followed by her underwear and a firm smack came to follow. She stilled in Nora’s grip, completely terrified. “And you see, if you had been a good girl, I would’ve let you stay in your room upstairs. But since you’re acting like a wiggly baby, you can join Teddy in the nursery.” Nora carried Emily, pants down to her knees to the room that she had forbid her from going in the day before. She set Emily down once they were inside, allowing her to get a good look of everything. It reminded Emily of a daycare center. One side of the room was painted pink, with a changing table in one corner, a wardrobe in the other. Pressed against the wall was a giant oak crib, filled with pink sheets and matching comforter, a few plushies sprinkled about. A unicorn mobile hung above it. The other side of the room was very similar, except it was in blue and his mobile had lions. Emily peered inside the crib and saw there was a young man in there. He looked to be about her age. Fast asleep, he was wearing a pair of blue footie pajamas which had a mysterious bulge. He had a pacifier in his mouth, causing his cheeks to puff out and in his arms was a teddy bear. She looked up at Nora with wide eyes. “You’re fucking crazy, lady.” “And you’re going to learn that we do not talk to Mommy that way.” In the center of the room was a giant playpen filled with babyish toys and games. Emily spotted two wooden rocking horses by the pen, with two oversized high chairs nearby. It was almost like there would be no reason for them to ever leave the room. There were two stools facing against the window. One was pink, the other blue, each reading “Naughty Stool”. In front of it was a rocking chair. Nora took Emily by the hand and dragged her to the chair. She sat down and pulled Emily over her lap. Her bottom was already exposed, so Nora got to work. Emily had never been spanked in her life and Nora was very strong. She laid down one firm smack, followed by another. Emily cried out in pain and kicked her legs, but that only got her three firm smacks to the thighs. “Ow! Stop it! Stop it!” Nora didn’t respond. She continued to smack her bottom, being generous to both cheeks. First she’d smack the left, then the right. Sometimes she’d do a few right on the seat, but either way, she wasn’t stopping. Emily cried out and begged her to stop, but nothing seemed to work. She could hear a particularly young voice asking what was going on. “I’m just punishing your new sister, Snookums,” Nora said calmly. “Mind your business or your next.” Emily thought about what an impression she must be making, but remembered the guy was in a crib wearing pajamas with racecars on them. She focused instead on the pain searing through her behind. “Please! I won’t tell anyone! Just let me go!” But her cries fell on deaf ears. Eventually, she grew limp, bawling over this woman’s lap. She kept her eye on the Little Bo Beep clock on what she presumed to be her side of the room and watched as the numbers spun by. After 30 minutes and a lot of sobbing, Emily’s bottom was a deep shade of red and it matched her face, which was covered in tears. “Now, let’s get you changed.” Nora scooped Emily up and laid her down on the changing table. Emily hissed as her bottom hit the mat, which just made Nora laugh. She unbuttoned Emily’s top, making the younger woman attempt to cover her breasts. Nora swatted those away. “Don’t you worry, Emzy, you don’t have to cover up mosquito bites around Mommy.” Emily glared up at Nora, who just shook her head in return. Nora reached under the changing table and produced a diaper. She slid it beneath Emily’s bottom and smiled. “I see my Scotty made sure to keep you nice and shaven, makes work easier for Mommy.” “I hate Scott,” Emily mumbled, folding her arms over her chest, unaware of how babyish she looked and sounded. “Aw, sweetums, you’ll forgive him someday.” Nora tickled her chin. “You can’t stay mad at your big bubba for very long.” Emily didn’t respond. Nora sprinkled some baby powder onto her bottom and spread it around, which made Emily wiggle a bit. Next came the baby oil, which was rubbed over every square inch of her body, leaving a very infantile scent behind. The diaper was fastened on nice and tight, the cotton feeling strange to Emily’s bottom. The diaper rustled even if she moved an inch and it brought heat to her cheeks. “Let’s pick an outfit for Mommy’s little precious,” Nora cooed. She used the strap in the middle of the pad to lock Emily in so she couldn’t escape and went to the wardrobe. As soon as she opened it, Emily was exposed to the wide array of frilly outfits inside, that seemed to match every color of the rainbow. There was no flannel or black, just lots of pastels, especially pinks. Nora grabbed one of the dresses off the hanger, along with a pair of matching diaper panties and walked back over to Emily. Nora seamlessly dressed her new baby, sliding the panties over the diaper before pulling the dress on as well. Emily tugged on it, but the dress didn’t budge past the rim of the diaper. “Um, this doesn’t fit.” “Of course it does, it’s the style,” Nora told her. “It’s meant to show off your pretty little panties. Now sit up.” She slowly did as asked and found a brush being dragged through her thick mess of hair. She wiggled, screamed and whined, only to get pops to the thighs and to be told to be a good girl. Her hair was sorted into pig tails and Emily felt something being tied to her head, the knot going beneath her chin. Next came the frilly white socks and Mary Janes, with mittens being tied to her hands to immobilize her. Nora shoved a pacifier into her mouth and helped Emily down. “Go check out yourself out in the mirror.” The diaper spread Emily’s legs apart and made it impossible for her to walk normally. Instead, she was forced to toddle, nearly falling over a few times. Finally, she reached the full length mirror and gasped at what she saw there. The dress was light pink, with lots of ruffles and a high collar that puffed out a bit. The dress had buttons down the back of it, making impossible to rip off. It fell just above the matching diaper panties that the diaper definitely stuck out of. A pink bonnet completed the ensemble, especially with the pacifier that-like Teddy’s-puffed out her cheeks and made her look even more infantile. Emily was prepared to run, but as soon as she took a step, she fell onto her bottom. Some baby powder escaped from the diaper and it made Nora laugh. “Alright, my little angel face. You go into the playpen while I get your brother ready.” Nora scooped her up and set her inside, pushing a shape sorter near her. She walked over to the crib, cooing over Teddy, who was kneeling up in his crib. Nora lifted him out. “Ooo, my little schmoopy went poo-poo, didn’t he? Oh, yes he did. Yes he did,” Nora cooed as she took him to the changing table. Emily took in her new “brother” as he was changed. He had brown hair and blue eyes, but for some reason didn’t seem afraid of Nora. She reminded herself that Scott had mentioned Nora had been “fostering” Teddy for a year. It’d make sense if he was more susceptible to what was going on. Clearly, Teddy could talk, but how much of his mind was left? Emily was already being driven crazy by the cooing. Nora changed Teddy’s diaper and then slid some plastic diaper panties over him. He was then dressed in a bright green romper and had his hair combed out. She brought him over to the playpen and deposited him next to Emily. “I’m going to go make my little ones breakfast, you two play nice. Mommy will know.” She removed their pacifiers and gave them each kisses on the lips, which Emily promptly wiped off as soon as Nora was gone. “So…you’re Emily?” Teddy asked. Emily nodded. “And you’re Teddy. When I heard you crying yesterday…” “You thought I was an actual baby?” “Yeah.” “I don’t understand how you’ve been here a year.” “Janie did her homework.” A cloud of anger clearly ran over his eyes at the mention of her name. “I was a young, broke college student who didn’t have any family. Put into the system at birth, aged out at 18. She charmed me with her good looks and money. One day, I was brought over to meet Nora and the rest was history.” “But you still have your mind.” “I don’t think Nora actually wants us to act like babies. She’s fine if you use your words. She just wants people to be her little dolls. Dress you up, feed you, show you around to friends. She wants to be in control.” “No wonder she drove her kids away.” Emily rubbed her bare arm. “Scott never really mentioned her much and now I know why.” “Janie told me some, mostly that her mother still viewed her as a child. I didn’t think it could be so bad. I mean, the first night I stayed in Scott’s old room. It had a racecar bed but so what?” “Why aren’t we in those rooms?” “She’s starting us off as if we were infants. According to her, two years in the nursery and then you get moved to the big kid rooms.” “And when do we leave?” Scott looked out the one window that the room had. He looked almost in awe of the birds that flew freely around the trees. “I’m sure Scott told you that in this community, everyone here is babied in some way. Even if they have jobs, they come home, get spanked by their parents and tucked into bed every night.” “But surely they can leave.” “One of my friends down the block was part of the whole deal system too. Girlfriend gave her to her new “daddy”. She’s been there 15 years. Sure, now she gets to use the bathroom and there’s talks of her getting a job…but she wears dresses a lot like that one.” Teddy gestured to her dress. “I think it’s like the Hotel California. Check out any time you like…” “But you can’t ever leave.” Emily whispered.

7. Things Discussed At Night My life used to be so much simpler. I mean there were always the diapers—they were a given and a complication that at times made life a hell—but compared to now, things were almost idyllic. Before Mom and Dad started fighting. Before it all got to be too much for him. Back when I was little, like in Branch Crossing Elementary, the only school (at least until now) that really treated me well. Sometimes when I think about those days, as long ago as they were, it strikes me that I must be sugar-coating them, but Mom tells me I’m not, that they really were what I seem to remember, that Dad really was what I seem to remember, back then… In first grade, I had Miss Winters for a teacher. She was young and pretty; in retrospect it’s clear she was someone recently out of grad school, like Ms. Weller. I loved Miss Winters: she was full of laughter and made all of the learning fun, even the harder stuff. I remember how she spent extra time with anyone who needed it even though she had so many little kids in her class, and somehow no one misbehaved. I think maybe everyone loved her as much as I did and wanted to be good for her. I was one of two kids in that class who had potty problems, but the only one in diapers. The other, Jimmy Kassell, just wet his pants sometimes. Kids tended to steer clear of me (the baby in diapers) but make fun of Jimmy when he had accidents. I was pretty used to things by now and, though it bothered me, I tried to live in my own world and learn and enjoy my art, which I really loved. (Mom says I was drawing with middle school skill when I was about three, working on shading and perspective and techniques I shouldn’t have known to think about. Art is still my one relaxing class of the day, and I’m considering going into graphic design as a major.) It kept me busy and away from the nasty remarks. Poor Jimmy, though, heard every one of them like a blow. Miss Winter tried her best; she really did. We had in-classroom bathrooms at that school, and for me they were really useful. The teacher’s aide, Ingrid, would come in with me and change my diaper whenever it was necessary on the low side table that was built in just for that purpose. But for Jimmy: his accidents were unpredictable, so he never had anything to change into. Miss Winters could only ask Ingrid to take him down to the Principal’s Office to call home. And the kids laughed, and she hushed them, but she couldn’t stop them from giggling as he walked out. They had become oblivious to me, but Jimmy was apparently fair game even with me in the room. Jimmy became my first real friend that year. Before that, I had always been afraid to comment to anyone because of my issues. But when I talked to Mom and Dad about Jimmy, they both told me that I should reach out to him, so I did. And it turned out that he was just as lonely as I was. It also turned out that Jimmy was kind of fun. He was a geeky kind of boy; he liked science fiction and monster stories, for instance, but he had a great time telling me all of them and somehow they started influencing my drawing. Mom noticed the spaceships and evil looking creatures and asked me if I was OK; I told her I was fine, that Jimmy and I were playing make-believe. And for three years, it was me and Jimmy. We played in the schoolyard and we played after school. By being with me, he became sort of insulated from the taunting: I was, after all, immune. I was known to be in diapers, not that I wanted to be known. And Miss Winters in first grade, Mrs. Neumann in second grade, and Mr. Kenning in third grade all protected me from the other kids to the extent that no one bothered to bother me, and by extension no one bothered Jimmy even though he still occasionally wet himself even in third grade. It was sort of weird: hanging out with the school pariah actually helped him. And though I was the school pariah, I was happy: I liked my teachers, I had a friend, I loved drawing, I was learning things, no one was bothering me about my diapers. For at least a little while, it seemed as if things were OK. And at home things were perfect: Mom and Dad took me on outings to museums, to the amusement park, to the beach. We went to movies and parks. We played games and watched TV together. We laughed a lot. Jimmy told me he was jealous of all the stuff my parents and I did together, and when I asked him why he just said he never did that kind of stuff with his Mom and Dad. I was surprised; I thought everyone did. Of course, I was wrong. But being so young I could hardly know that not only was this not the norm, but that my own personal joy and harmony was not guaranteed. It was a gradual thing; that much I remember. At first it was just a matter of Dad not being with us for some of our outings. Mom took me and Jimmy one day to a movie and Chuck E Cheese’s. “Where’s Daddy?” I asked her. “He can’t make it today, Honey,” she said. “What about Jimmy’s mommy? Can’t she come?” Mom smiled. “No, Honey,” she said. “Jimmy’s mommy isn’t feeling well so she said it would be great if you both came with me. Don’t you think it’s great?” I did. Jimmy didn’t seem, at first anyway, quite as enthusiastic. But he ended up having a great time anyway, at least until it was time to go home. When we were about to drop him off, he suddenly asked if he could maybe stay over at our house for the night. I can still see my mother’s precise reaction: the heaviness of her eyelids, the far-off gaze, the fingers, slightly quivering, unconsciously lifting to the side of her lips, and then the sigh, in all of its unfathomable depth, as her head started shaking slowly side to side. “I’m sorry, Sweetie, but we...can’t do that tonight. Maybe...some other time.” Jimmy looked down, and his own sigh matched hers. “OK,” he said simply, and he got out of the car. “Thanks for the movie and Chuck E Cheese. It was fun. See you tomorrow, Carly.” He turned and walked toward his door. He had not been smiling. I turned to ask my mom about it, but when I did I saw moisture in her eyes and decided not to. Dad slowly started fading from our lives after that. He missed more and more outings, and even game nights and TV nights. And when he was there, he spent a lot of time arguing with Mom. I wasn’t supposed to hear; I know that. But I did hear. The house really wasn’t that big: even hushed arguments late at night couldn’t stop a little kid whose curiosity had been piqued from discovering what was going on. And after a couple of months, the arguments became torrential. “It’s not her fault, Adam.” “Don’t you think I know that?” His voice, coming through a vent, was harsh, though he was clearly trying to keep it low. “Hell, it’s more likely mine...or yours. Some genetic thing. But that doesn’t change the fact of it, does it?” She matched his tone now. “So how the hell can you be so cold then? She has only one father. She needs you.” He raised his voice, nearly allowing it to break the semi-controlled “whisper” they were using so I wouldn’t wake up. “Jesus fuck, Kelly, don’t give me that stuff. It’s hard enough!” “It should be hard, Adam. It should be damn hard!” “Well it is! But I just can’t do it any more. You know I’ve tried.” “Tried?” There was a sudden coldness to her voice. “You don’t try with a child, Adam. Being a father is not a game or a test. It’s a career. It’s a lifetime. It’s not a thing to try and, oh well, can’t do this, so I guess I’ll just move on and do something else.” “You know that isn’t what I meant.” “No? Then tell me what the hell you did mean.” “Come on, Kel! She isn’t like other kids! You know she isn’t! And it’s not just the diapers either, though, sure, that’s some of it: I never signed up to spend a lifetime changing my kid’s shitty diapers.” “Neither did I, Adam. But she is our kid, and that’s what she needs, so we do it. Gladly!” “You do. I can’t.” He sounded almost desperate, and I was crying; my daddy was clearly saying he didn’t want me anymore. “But even if I could, there’s the other thing.” “She needs you even more because of that! Hell I need you because of that!” “I know, I know. I get that. But I’m not that guy, Kel. I can’t...I can’t...handle it.” I had no idea what they were talking about. What “other thing”? Why can’t Daddy handle it? I sat there beneath the vent, next to the changing table in my bedroom—the one he built when I outgrew the baby one in my nursery—trying to make any of this make sense. Was Daddy...leaving? They weren’t talking, and I didn’t know why. If he had left, I thought I would have heard him in the hall; he’d have walked right past my room. But there was nothing. And then: “So you’d really do this? You’d leave us alone?” “How the fuck can I not? It’s my fault! All of it. Even the diapers might be, for Christ’s sake. I’m like a walking curse for my child.” What? “That’s ridiculous, Adam. It’s all an excuse and you know it. We have no idea why Carly’s incontinent. And as to the rest: you’re just afraid, like me. But you’re running away.” I could hear the sneering in Mom’s voice, even in whispers. I’d never heard her talk to my father that way. It was scary. “You’d run away faster than me if you had any intelligence,” he said. I heard a sound I knew was my mother slapping my father in the face. He clearly didn’t respond to it, at least physically. “Go ahead, then,” she said. “Get out. We’ll figure this out without you. Save your own skin while you can.” There was a pause. And then: “I’m sorry, Kel.” “And don’t you dare even look in on her before you go! You don’t have the right!” She shouted this last part. It might have been enough to awaken me if I’d been asleep, but I thought I’d better get back to bed in case he looked in anyway. He didn’t. Five minutes later, she did. She came in and sat down on my bed, stroking my hair. “It’ll be all right, Carly,” she said softly. “We’ll get through this together, whatever is coming.” ### Marina rolls over and looks at me for the first time since I started talking. The whole time, she’s been facing away, comfortable in her sleeping bag. Earlier in the evening, she was enjoying herself, making fun of Melody and McKenna and generally entertaining us all. Once things got a bit serious, though, she went into listening mode. This is the first time I’ve seen her eyes in twenty minutes. Janelle and Madison, on the other hand, have seemed riveted. Janelle is lying down, like Marina, but facing me. Maddy is sitting up inside of her bag. Both have just been listening, as if they have never heard anything like this; I can easily imagine that to be true. Sarah wasn’t able to come tonight, so it’s just the four of us. But it’s OK: I mean it’s only the first sleepover. I’m sure there will be more. Mom was so happy when I asked if I could have friends overnight. “Seriously?” she asked, her face a mixture of delight and surprise. “Oh come on, Mom,” I said. “It’s just a sleepover.” She smiled. “Carly, I don’t think you’ve ever had one before.” I was going to protest that I must have, but when I thought about it I realized that I couldn’t come up with a single memory of one. I’d been to a couple—awkward with diapers, but it worked out—but she might be right: this might be the very first one I’ve ever hosted. Good God: seventeen and a sleepover virgin! Marina’s eyes meet mine. “So how old were you when all of this happened?” “My dad left when I was in 4th grade,” I say. “Well, the summer after. It was a crap year. I had a new school, and they really didn’t handle my incontinence well, and that may have contributed to his issues, I don’t know.” “What did they do?” Janelle asks. “Mostly bitch and moan, I guess. Fourth graders shouldn’t be in diapers and all that. Lots of letters home, lots of parent conferences, lots of doctor’s notes, etc. At one point they wanted to move me to a special ed room where several kids were in diapers.” “Bastards!” Marina says. “Yeah,” I laugh. “Well, Mom gave it to them for that. Nothing like a little legal threat to bring people in line, and Mom’s best friend in the world is a lawyer. Always on call. I guess that helped in the divorce too.” “Jeez,” says Maddy, “she talks to you about stuff like that?” “We have a pretty close relationship.” “I guess. I can’t talk to my mom about...anything. I wish I could.” Marina brings us back to the original topic. “So he left because of your incontinence, but also because of something else?” I nod. “Yeah.” “The demon thing?” she asks. “He blamed himself.” “Wait,” Janelle says. “So this demon thing has been around that long? I thought you said you weren’t even sure it was real?” I shrug. “It’s...complicated. And a really long story.” Madison settles back in her bag. “We’ve got all night,” she says.

I like to hold it as long as I can. I'll put my diaper on and lay in bed. I'll lay on one side for a while then the other side. After about a half hour or so, I'll get up and walk around. I'll continue to try to hold it in, but it will get to the point where I can't anymore and some will start to leak out, then some more and some more. It's an amazing feeling as the poop leaks out and you can't control it.

Junk