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Critiques and Writer's Discussion

For more in-depth critiques of stories and story writing discussion.

238 topics in this forum

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  2. Must Reads

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  3. Diaper Dimension thoughts

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  4. Critiquing

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  5. Need Editor(S) And Proofreader(S) For Stories

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  6. Double-Yew Tee Eff?

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  7. What is a fap?

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  8. Liars And Thieves

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  • Posts

    • (Sorry I've been so busy with work this week that I haven't had time to come on here. I hope this is okay) Rosie began to feel very uncomfortable in her wet pants which were starting to cool and make her feel cold. She didn't want to be carried, nor did she want to walk. She just wanted to get home and get showered but Hailey wasn't allowing that opion. She didn't feel she could argue with her, after all if they fell out at this stage then Rosie might find herself homeless before long. She made a submissive gesture and put her arms out for Hailey to carry her. Being so small in size made her lighf enough to carry.
    • Mya put Bella back in the in the car seat then picked up the diaper bag and walked to the car putting Bella back in ththe car.  “ they need toys above there car seats one thing I forgot “  kayla sucked her thumb rubbing her eye. 
    • Bella nodded and then smiled feeling a bit better hearing that    "yeah we're ready to go are you guys " Rose says as she puts the diaper bag back 
    • She shakes her head at Quinn’s antics. “To check if you’re wet.” She answers. “You might not be able to tell right away. Sit.” She points to the bed then crouches eye level between her initiate’s puffy diapered legs to snap up her pants over her diaper. A telltale bulge remained but only to those who knew where to look for it.  Stone grabs a the pair of small boots waiting by her rack’s footlocker and helps to guide Quinn’s feet into each one then begins tying up the laces, ignoring any complaint.  With a resolute tug she helps Quinn to stand. An appraising look, then flattening of the girl’s collar, and arranging a few wayward hairs back in place, Stone nods and smiles to herself.  “Well, look here...” she nodded again with conviction at Quinn in uniform. “Initiate Quinn ready for duty.”  - “Yes, /What/ Initiate?!” Stone’s electrified voice admonished through the comms. Quinn had forgotten to address her as Paladin again as she hurried to catch up with the patrol.  “Get the lead out of your pants and back in formation! Unless that’s /not/ lead and you need a change?”  Stone’s frustration drove her to say the scathing comment, which she immediately regretted when her ear filled with a chorus of groans from the rest of the squad.