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How
Dee
Came To Be.
I never
suffered abuse, sexually or any other kind like many who post, so I
thought I would share some of my diaper history, or where I think my
AB/DL feelings developed from in an otherwise ‘normal’
environment.
When I was 5, I had a 7 yr old tyrant brother, a 2 year old
adoring brother, and a brand new baby sister. My parents got a
kick out of me being "little mommy" taking as much control
over the whole diapering process as I could. It was encouraged
and appreciated, until one night, I tried to diaper myself. My
mother caught me, and spanked me very angrily, and humiliated me,
and I was in disgrace. I can still recall partial images of
her ridicule as she pulled my pjs and diapers off. Diapers
were shameful. Actually, she was probably at her wits end with
the 2 in diapers she already had. (No disposables in 1957).
The incident of
course was never mentioned. Then,
at about age 12, we had houseguests. Two boys around 8 and 10,
whose mother put them in big thick diapers and plastic pants to
sleep in. Bedwetters, I suppose. I was mortified for
them, yet riveted by their apparent nonchalance at this set of
circumstances. Did big kids wear diapers?
Well, move ahead to about age 17... in one of my earliest
petting sessions -- you know where the panties finally come down to
the knees, the boy teased me with his fingers and brought me to my
first orgasm. I left a wet spot the size of
Montana
on his mothers brocade divan. Again! Out of glory
comes disgrace. The boy never looked at me again. For years
afterwards, I could never consider sex or orgasm without a towel
firmly beneath me.
At age 24 I
gave birth to my beautiful daughter. During the weeks
immediately following delivery I was flowing so heavily, that unless
I set the alarm clock for every hour to change pads, I could
guarantee stained bedding in the morning. In desperation I
grabbed one of the baby's pampers, and had my first decent sleep in
weeks. Suddenly diapers, meant security, peace of mind, as
well as wet, horny, and sexy.
A couple of years later the baby and I moved into my great
Aunt's house after she went into a nursing home, and I rummaged
through her stuff to help my Dad make sense of what to keep and what
to get rid of. Imagine finding adult size plastic pants!
The fantasy took on new feelings when I indulged in the diapers for
real now. Alone of course, but I could be as wet as I wanted
to, feel the "kick' of the naughtiness of it all, feel the fear
of discovery, and yet experience orgasms that nothing else ever came
close to. I’d crossed a line permanently in ‘what makes me
tick”.
Since I was a teenager, I volunteered with a teen theatre
company, and stayed involved til I was in my 30's. I was music
director, costume designer, set designer etc., and later performed
as a singer in local professional productions. I've always
loved role play and drama and ritual. An early original play
required an adult baby... not as a fetish, but symbolic of a man who
had never grown up. I made him a footed sleeper, and bonnet,
and it was a constant running joke backstage by everyone about
"I'm so nervous I'm gonna pee my diapers". I of
course never let on how erotic the thought was or still is.
One day, one of the actors in the company asked if I'd make a
"custom" baby outfit for his boyfriend. He'd been
paralyzed due to a car accident, and although beginning to walk
again, was incontinent for life. They had made a game of his
diapers to facilitate their lovemaking, and so I found my entre into
the fetish community via real Adult Babies.
Over the years
I never got into the goo-goo gah-gah stuff. I realize most
adults look completely ridiculous with the bonnets, mittens, baby
gear etc., but as my kink experience expanded, I found myself in
exclusive demand among other femdommes for being able to handle the
AB clientele. I can easily do the Mommy/Nanny thing and
have enjoyed it to a certain extent, but was sometimes jealous of
the ‘Baby’. Again, my diapers were/are a secret. My
ex husband was military and on the road a lot, so I would enjoy a
few days of “stress relief” alone in diapers, but face it -- The
Ultimate Bitch Goddess Dominatrix in diapers? It would just never
fly.
So things coming full circle as they do, I have several AB
clients now for clothing which is part of a fetish line I design.
It seems I'm the only person in my area making the stuff at the
moment. Still, I remain in the closet on this particular
fetish. Until now. Thanks
to DailyDiapers I got the courage to answer an ad, and have found
the most simpatico, kind, adoring, intelligent “Daddy” in the
planet. He actually
“gets me”… all of me, the kink, the business woman, the
community leader, and most of all – the little girl inside who
needs to come out once in awhile to stay sane and be sexually
satisfied this way. I
can curl up in Daddy’s arms for a few hours, and be wet and warm
and loved, and then be well and truly fucked, and completely renewed
to take on the world again. It’s an experience of a lifetime.
Dee
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