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This Is My Story
I did not grow up having the typical child hood that most children
have. My father was active duty Air Force and my mother worked out
side of the home.
In our home my family suffered from all three major forms of abuse.
My
mother got the emotional abuse. My brother he received the physical
abuse. Me you guessed it I got the sexual abuse.
I can only remember bits and pieces of my childhood. I don't ever
remember actually being a child. I remember the first that that I
wanted to wear diapers I was about 6 years old. We were living in
Sumpter, SC on Shaw A.F.B. I had been wetting the bed during the
night
for a couple of nights in a row and we were in the car driving home
from somewhere and my mother said that if I did not stop wetting the
bed that she was going to make me wear diapers. All I could say was
yes ma'am. When what I really wanted to say was yes.
You see I don't remember what made me put a diaper on the first
place
all I know is that I have been hooked ever since.
I remember one night I was about 6 years old I took a baby doll
blanket and made a diaper out of it. I must have fallen asleep
wearing
the diaper because the next thing I remember is waking up to my dad
coming in for a "visit" he crawled into bed with me and
stuck his hand
down the front of my panties which had the diaper underneath them
and
I thought oh no I am going to be in so much trouble. But I did not
get
into trouble in fact he just touched me in my private parts for a
while and left he did not make me have sex with him. I was so
relieved. There are lots of different times in my life where I can
remember the sexual abuse taking place. I will spare you all the
gory
details.
It took me a while to realize that if I wore a diaper that he would
not force me to have sex with him. As the time went on I grew more
and
wanted to wear diapers so badly. I remember asking my nanny who was
living with us at this time we were living in Las Vegas and I was
about 12 or 13 years old if I could wear a diaper and after lots of
asking she finally said yes. I was so happy she took me to my room
and
had me lay down on the bed an she took a towel and made it into a
diaper and put it on me. My nanny then had me go out to the
living
room and watch tv where my dad and brother were. I went to grab my
pants and put them back on and she snatched them out of my hand and
said no that if I want to wear diapers like a baby then I can't wear
my pants so I went out to the living room in my shirt and diaper. My
brother and father teased me for a long time and called me a baby
little did they know that's what I wanted to be. After a while my
dad
told me to go and take the diaper off. I did as I was told and that
was the last time that they ever put a diaper on me.
I continued to wear diapers in secret and I would even sometimes buy
diapers with my own money so that I could wear them when my parents
were not around.
I can remember my parents only having 3 fights the entire time they
were married they were all over the same thing him having sex with
me.
I can remember telling my mother that this was happening and her not
doing anything. She justified it as he is only making me have oral
sex
with him and that I can live through that after all she did. Well I
can tell you it was a lot more than oral sex.
When we left Las Vegas and moved to California to Beale A.F.B.
things
did not change much I still wore diapers out of what ever I could
find
to make them out of which was usually a towel. I never we them
because
I did not want to get caught and get into trouble.
I was about 15 yrs old when I pressed charges against my father for
sexually abusing me and I had him court marshaled though the
military.
He was 18 months away from retirement when I prosecuted him. My
mother
was not happy she told me that I ruined her life and that why didn't
I
make her believe me that my father was abusing me. I have no idea
how
I was supposed to make her believe me other than tell her. Any my
parents got divorced and we wound up living in Reno, NV. with my
aunt
and uncle. I still secretly wore diapers. I never told anyone that I
like to wear diapers. I remember times were rough I worked full time
and went to school to help pay the bills since it was all my fault
(according to my mother) that we had to live this way.
I was 19 yrs old when I met my husband that I have now. Six days
after
we met I turned 20 years old. 8 days later we were married. We will
be
married 18 yrs this October. Shortly after we were married I told my
husband of my desires to wear diapers. He had diapered me a few
times
but he has never really gotten into it. The times that he has
diapered
me have been the best times ever.
I remember one of the first times I wore a diaper in front of him
and
I had to go to the bathroom and it wasn't pee that I had to do. That
I
went into the bathroom and took of my diaper and used the toilet,
there was some struggling at the bathroom door him trying to come in
and me closing the door on him, he asked why I just didn't use the
diaper and I said I don't know that I have never pooped in a diaper.
I
wonder if his feelings would be different if I actually pooped in
the
diaper in front of him. I guess I will never know.
I do know now that all I want is to be kept in diapers 24/7. I want
to
be totally dependent upon them for all of my toileting needs. I am
scared that it would ruin my marriage. I want him to want me in
diapers. I want him to see that keeping me in diapers is like a
modern
day chastity belt, a seal that only he can break (Not that I cheat
mind you).
When I have talked to him about this he tells me not be gross by
telling him that I would do what ever he tells me to. I am willing
to
give myself to him completely. He just does not understand how
vitally
important this is to me. For me wearing diapers is a great since of
security. It makes me happy. He does not understand this and I don't
know how to make him understand.
I wear diapers when ever I can. I keep it private so that my husband
does not know when I am wearing or my children. I wonder if this is
something that is handed down from one generation to the next?
I personally don't think that there is anything wrong with wanting
to
wear diapers I find them more comfortable than underwear. I like my
diapers nice and thick. I have looked into buying training panties
for
myself because they are thicker in the middle than regular women's
panties. (just so you all know I am not a cute petite Barbie doll
looking woman. I am not ugly but I do have some meat on my bones).
So
I don't wear cute sexy panties anyways is my point.
There are times when I think I want to be treated like a baby and
then
there are times that I think that I just want to be a diaper
dependent
adult. I don't know which one I want more. I think I would be happy
as
the diaper dependent adult. I would of course have to have plastic
panties, or maybe some locking plastic panties and onesies to help
hold up my very wet and soiled diaper. I don't much care which one
it
was so long as I was required to be in diapers 24/7 that's all I
care
about. I would not care who knows that I am wearing diapers. My
husband would care. Although I do get extremely excited about being
humiliated while wearing diapers like by the idea of having my
diapers
checked to see if they are wet or to have them changed. Or having to
wear a dress or skirt or out fit that barely covers the diapers and
then having to go out in public. I have tried everything to try and
want my husband to want me in diapers. I guess I am destined to have
to live this part of my life by myself.
You can contact me if you want babypatdy@gmail.com
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