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Caught! Discovery can be
liberating, but scares the "piss" out of anyone.
How do I begin the story,
frustration, embarrassment, anguish, etc.?
I was standing in the corner of the bedroom and she had
me dead to rights.
was standing next to her dresser with a pair of her pink
panties in my hand wearing a diaper, yes a diaper.
How did it get to this point and what was to
I had no idea and based on her reaction I wasn’t
very excited about the prospects of this dilemma.
All I heard from her lips was, “Oh my God, this
is different and I’m dying to hear an explanation for
I guess you could say I had
somewhat of a difficult childhood, but doesn't
everybody? Why was it so difficult for me to handle the
situation and what was I to do, I had no idea. My
challenge has been with me for as long as I can
remember. Dealing with this so-called curse had finally
gotten to me and I didn't know what else to do, perhaps
I wanted to get caught but oh well there I was.
Now what to do and oh I was scared.
I thought about running to the bathroom, but
what was there, it was obvious that I could not hide
this any longer.
15 years earlier: I was
invited by my aunt to go assist with some farming after
all relatives are cheap labor and I wanted the money, I
was 10 years old. I went on to stay with my aunt (my
father’s sister) during harvest; it wasn't a bad gig
actually. I was given my own room, which was great after
all I had been sharing a room with my brother for a long
time. This seemed like a great opportunity to become
somewhat independent. Little did I know how this would
start the ball rolling down I long pathetic pathway.
I had no idea it would become such a problem.
You see, I wet the bed regularly till about age 7 and
under a great deal of stress I was still having an
occasional accident. I don't think my aunt knew that I
did but boy I guess she was in for a big surprise. I
usually only had my little problem when I was under
stress, was extremely fatigued, or upset.
age 7 I took every precaution I possibly could to keep
that from happening by decreasing my water intake after
late in evening not eating late and trying to empty my
bladder is much as possible before sleep. The challenge
was to keep it so that everyone never noticed it as a
problem. I had learned through experience over and over
again how to manage my little problem by changing
behaviors as much as was humanly possible and had
curtailed things for a couple of years.
Now I was in a strange environment I had never
been in before which in itself created little bit of
stress plus my aunt and uncle had a tendency to eat
late. This started a cascade of behavior patterns that
became significantly problematic. One night after
working for hours and hours I was extremely tired and
yes we had been outside most of the day, because of that
we were somewhat dehydrated when we got home. I forgot
my internal rule and drank a large amount of water late
in the afternoon. I was also extremely exhausted when I
went to bed that night, as you would guess, that evening
or should I say early in the morning while it was still
dark outside, I woke to a puddle and was helpless as to
what to do. I couldn't hide it, I couldn't change the
sheets, I couldn't get new underwear because all my
underwear was in the laundry. This created even another
problem that was to stick with me as well. When I got up
that morning I tried to get into the bathroom as quick
as possible after covering the bed hoping that it would
not be noticed. I made it hiding my underwear in the
garage. And I thought all was well accepted since I
didn't have any underwear I had to go about my day
commando. Well how traumatic can that be for a
10-year-old boy? Anyway I worked the whole day not
really thinking much about it, I guess denial is as good
as any reason to not think about it or hopelessness I
guess would be a better way to describe it.
I got home, cleaned up a
little and prepared myself for dinner. I thought
everything was fine until after dinner I went back to my
room and noticed that there were clean sheets and
blankets on the bed. I just sat on the bed by myself
trying to come up with a solution to my predicament.
Well my answer came soon enough when my aunt came into
the room and sat down on the bed next to me with a look
of concern on her face. She said and I quote” we have to
talk about something and I think you know what it is”. I
said yes I knew and I promised her that I would never do
it again, I promise that I would do everything I
possibly could to prevent it from happening but she had
another solution to the problem.
Since it was bedtime she marched me in to the
bathroom and asked me to sit down on the edge of the
then stepped out of the room and shortly returned with a
set it down on the floor next to me and then began the
She began by telling me how she had to make very
clear that she did not want to ruin the mattress in her
And that something had to be done to protect it.
The most logical solution at that time was to
create a barrier between the bedding and me.
For small children with the same problem they
had to wear diapers and thus I was to do the same.
She then pulled a diaper from the bag she had
placed next to me.
There was also a pair of plastic pants as well.
I was understandably in shock.
I begged her to not force me to wear it, but to
no avail. I
will be honest, I cried.
I had to lie down on the cold floor of the
bathroom next to the bathtub and she lifted my but
sliding the diaper between my legs and pulled it up
pinning both sides against me.
She then had me stand up and had me put my legs
one at a time in the plastic paint.
I was then asked to go to bed because after all
we had a long day ahead.
I sat on the edge of the bed in the dark staring
at the emptiness.
I was so alone, my immediate family was miles
away and I was in a strange house.
I vowed to not have an accident to prove that it
would not be necessary to wear the symbol of weakness
and immaturity again.
I hardly slept at all that
night, and was quite sleepy when I awoke, but darn it, I
did not wet the bed.
I had hoped that by not doing so I would be
allowed to sleep without the diaper the next night, but
I would later discover that would not be the case.
Then came the next humiliation in the form of my
cousin’s underwear, oh by the way she is a girl.
Yes I was given a pair of yellow panties as my
only choice of underwear after all I was being punished
for wetting mine.
This was getting worse by the day.
I had to wear her panties all day and I will
always remember the pair.
A nylon pair with a bit of lace on the waste
band and the legs.
Quite feminine really but given my age and lack
of significant sexual development for my age they cause
I reluctantly wore them all day and could hardly
wait to get back to the house hoping that I could return
to my own, however by the time we finished dinner again
I was headed back to the bedroom hoping that my clothes
would be restored.
I was mistaken and on the edge of the bed was
that same bag I saw the night before.
My heart sunk and I just sat down on the floor
with my head in my hands, leaning against the side of
the bed. Things
were seemingly hopeless and sure enough I was correct
and my aunt came in to present me with my reminder of
how important it was to preserve her precious bedding.
I was once again forced to go into the bathroom
and lie on the floor.
This truly “sucked” and I was miserable.
What was I to do, surely I could convince her
that I could be relied upon to keep dry through the
night if only I could prove to her over time that I
vowed to do whatever was necessary to prevent this from
happening again. And for a few days I was successful,
but she never did become open to the suggestion that I
could be left unprotected.
I was however allowed to wear my own underwear
as long as I had clean ones.
I had to wear my cousins on only the few times
whenever I wet the bed, but at the time once was too
was just getting worse by the night.
I was required to wear the diapers every night
throughout the harvest and ultimately wet the bed about
every 3-4 days, which sucked.
My cousin eventually found
out even though I tried as best I could to keep it a
all trying to isolate myself nightly was hard for her to
just wanted to play like a normal kid would do so she
would often come to my room after dinner usually after I
I would do my best to hide that I was wearing
one, but the bulk was obvious.
Lucky for me she was somewhat sympathetic.
She was only 2 years younger than me but given
that girls mature faster than boys at that age we were
about the same size.
Lucky for me she never found out that I was
indeed wearing her underwear on occasion since it was
decided that as punishment I was to wear her panties if
I wet the bed.
The harvest finally ended and
I went back home to my house and family.
I breathed a sigh of relief when we walked
through the door and I immediately started resuming my
normal activity at home with my brothers.
I had hoped that my aunt would not share the
information about what happened at her house, however
that was not to be the case.
My mother and aunt spent a great deal of time at
the dinner table talking about something and while they
were talking I noticed the familiar bag sitting by the
heart sank. I
went outside to think things over and to be alone
walking through the trees by our house.
We lived in a beautiful area inside the quaking
aspen forest several miles from town and I loved to be a
kid exploring the area, finding whatever way I could
connect with nature.
I walked for an hour or two through the trees
I needed to prepare what I would say to my
mother when confronted.
I decided I would make her a deal.
I would do everything I could to keep it from
happening to include not sleeping, not drinking any
water, anything to keep from wearing the diapers.
This was making me angry just thinking about it.
I stormed around the forest pounding on tree
I summoned the courage to return to the house and I was
glad that my aunt and family had left so I did not have
to say goodbye to her at that point.
I now felt somewhat betrayed and did not want to
say anything to her at that moment, plus I was afraid of
what she had told my mother.
I did however miss saying goodbye to my cousin
who did seem a bit more understanding.
I slowly entered the house
hoping that no one would notice me that all would just
be forgotten and for the rest of the afternoon and
through dinner nothing was said.
I started to relax and felt like there might be
a weight off of my shoulders.
Little did I know what was in store later.
My mother actually was quite understanding
during our conversation later.
We discussed what she and my aunt had discussed
for a while and she asked me what I wanted to do.
This was a surprise compared to what my aunt had
of course didn’t want to wear a diaper any more and
voiced that determination to her.
She made me a deal that if I proved that I did
not need them then she would not force me to wear them.
My father on the other hand felt that a heavy
hand was in order choosing to use a belt on me if ever I
did wet the bed again.
person who now works in health care, I cannot understand
“die hards” feel that physical punishment is a way to
get over genetic issues, but that’s another story!)
She bless her heart was willing to gamble and
let me sleep without protection, and perhaps due to
decreased stress associated with staying at my aunt’s
house I was able to stay dry for several weeks.
It was awesome and I truly felt that I had
licked the problem.
Trouble is that I started to let my guard down
and experiment with less preventative measures to
include drinking water later in the evening and not
getting out of bed when I felt the urge during the
to say I wet again.
Now what? My mother obviously confronted me with
an option to wear the diaper again.
She stated that it would probably be in my best
interest to wear one again due to the stress it caused
for me to try so many things to prevent it from
argument made complete sense if you think about and her
argument was after all valid.
I was stressing about things every night.
I needless to say consented.
I then began wearing one every night again.
This time however it seemed to be the logical
did not like it, but my mother made a great argument.
With no big deal made about it, I continued to
wear purely out of logic and I began to have longer and
longer times where I would go without wetting the bed.
In fact I was routinely not having wet nights
for 2-3 weeks at a time and was close to asking to try
The biggest and best issue is that my mother
left the choice up to me.
I was close, then all hell broke loose.
My mother and father were not
getting along very well and it appeared that divorce was
were then forced to move to another state and my mother
was also forced to get a job as a social worker.
She was gone every day for work.
We had to come home from school alone and wait
for mom to come home daily.
It became such a challenge that my mother’s
sister moved in with us to help out with house hold
a good decision for me because this made for a very
difficult and what was soon to become perverted.
With the stress of moving and the difficulties
my parents had had, I began to wet again which was
Yes I was again forced into diapers and was
My other aunt (my mother’s sister) soon
discovered the situation and began a tirade on me with
humiliation and eventual untoward behaviors.
My aunt began coming in to my room nightly to
see if I was wet, which originally seemed to be in my
You see she started out trying to get me up to
go the bathroom.
This however changed over time.
After a few weeks, she would come in and not
only check to see if I had a wet diaper, but she also
would reach in to my diaper to touch and eventually
start fondling my penis.
This became somewhat disconcerting and you would
time the routine would be to see if I was wet and if not
she would reach into my diaper and fondle my member
however I was not dry she would leave me alone and
return to her bed.
What would you do with this
situation if you were a 10 year old boy?
I learned that to keep her from fondling me it
was in my best interest to wet myself before she came in
to the room.
I never did tell my mother about what was
happening, because she was under enough stress.
I now had a learned behavior with positive
reinforcement to wet my bed nightly.
I then did that which made my mother very
concerned, but she hoped that I would eventually grow
out of it.
During that time, I had my
first orgasm in a diaper.
I was very upset after my aunt had spent what I
thought was a extraordinary long time caressing my penis
thinking I was asleep, but even at my tender age, there
was an obvious reaction to her fondling and as I became
fully erect, she left the room.
I was not doing well that night and began slowly
to rock myself to sleep tears running down my cheek,
gently sobbing quietly so as to not wake any one.
As I was rocking back and forth I felt a feeling
I had never felt before grow steadily until yes, I had
what I later realized was an orgasm.
Given my sexual immaturity, there was no
discharge, but it felt terrific.
I was also very relaxed afterward and was able
to go to sleep.
not wet that night either.
Now I had a secret.
I learned a survival technique and directly
correlated this to diaper wearing.
I then spent the next few weeks developing
strategies where I could either masturbate in my diaper
or wet it depending on how I wanted to deal with the
intervention of my aunt.
This lasted until she finally moved out at the
end of her high school senior year.
She then went on to college and left our house.
The seeds of diaper desires had however been
planted in what now was very fertile soil so to speak.
I then spent the next several
years doing things that would make it so I could wear
diapers whenever possible.
I was the oldest of my family and my siblings
were spread over several years.
Thus as they came along they obviously wore
diapers and my mother was fond of cloth.
Often there was a messy diaper found in the
saw them there and knew that I had to hold it waiting
for my mother to rinse it out.
You see we only had one bathroom in our house.
I often wished that I had one on just so that I
could at least relieve myself on occasion.
I therefore would “borrow” a diaper from my
brother’s drawer and use it, then hide it in his pail
later just so I could relieve the pressure in my
soon I would also sneak one into my room to wear at
night as well.
This behavior lasted until I went to high
was small for my age and wrestled 98 lbs as a freshman
in high school and 105 as a sophomore.
Therefore I could easily wear a child’s diaper
with extra large baby plastic pants without difficulty.
I was able to hide my fetish for years.
I hid the fetish throughout my college days and
never really had a roommate so that no one would find
out about my issues.
Well then I met the girl of
my dreams, beautiful, fun and we hit it off immediately.
We dated for over a year and decided to marry.
I thought that by being married we would not
have any reason to deal with things as before and I
actually though that all would be forgotten and that I
had in fact “grown out of” my fetish.
Wow was I wrong.
I soon discovered that there were triggers that
would take me back to the insecurities I dealt with as a
found myself getting more and more of a desire to wear
diapers again particularly when there was a lot of
stress in my life.
I thought that perhaps I could remain strong and
avoidance and keeping myself busy with daily activities
would keep my mind off of diapers and panties, but as
anyone knows when dealing with this issue it just
doesn’t go away.
My job began to become more
stressful and challenging, which caused me to wet the
bed a couple of times when I had had a little more than
I should have to drink.
This was quite disturbing to my wife waking up
to a wet bed.
Then it got worse and I did it when I was not
immediately resorted to the same protective behaviors I
had before by dehydrating myself and not drinking late
at night. The
plan worked, but I had no relief in the future to be
my wife went to visit her mother and as I knew things
were not getting better so I went looking for answers.
I then began to explore the
Internet and found a secret society of diaper wearers
and adult babies out there and all the resources
available to those of this interest.
I never got into the adult baby realm, but
diapers became more and more desirous.
I eventually broke down and bought my first
cloth diaper and pair of plastic pants.
I began to wear them only when my wife was away
and visiting her mother or out of town.
This was difficult due to needing to wash up
afterward, but through creative planning I was able to
time things so that I could have sufficient time to get
things all cleaned up before she would come home.
I would usually wear a diaper and then afterward
I would take a shower and put a pair of her panties on
to rest and feel the soft silkiness on my genitals.
I preferred ones that she had been wearing the
day before. This
went on for a long time and I thought that things would
potentially keep going like this forever, however I
guess that it was inevitable that I would eventually get
My wife was headed out of
town on a trip to visit her mother again and after she
left with her bags, I waited for as long as I could
then snuck in to the bedroom closet where I kept my
supplies, pulled out a cloth diaper I purchased with a
pair of yellow plastic pants and pinned the diaper on;
then slid my legs into the plastic pants pulled them up
around my waist and went to the laundry basket pulling
out a pair of my wife’s pink panties.
Then I saw out of the corner of my eye she was
standing behind me with her hands on her hips.
There was obvious anger in her eyes and
exasperation as well.
I just stood there and then began to stare at
the floor. I
didn’t know what to do.
The ball was obviously in her court.
I was so nervous I wet myself right then and
there in front of her.
She obviously knew it happened based on my
it happened she started to laugh.
I didn’t know how to take the reaction.
All she said was “Would you mind explaining
said I didn’t know what to say.
She then just asked “WHY”
“It’s a long story and it might take a while.”
I said sheepishly then I asked if she really
wanted to know and if she had time right now because she
was supposed to be headed to her mother’s house.
She said she forgot one of her bags and had to
return and that yes she had to leave soon, but didn’t
want to miss out on this story for anything.
I asked her what she wanted me to do and if she
wanted me to get cleaned up before we talked, but she
stated that it was obvious that I wanted to continue to
wear the diaper even though I was wet at the time and
she would just listen and then make a decision what to
about the panties??
She just shrugged and sat down on the edge of
the bed. She
asked me to sit down and get cracking.
I then began at the beginning and told her
just sat there listening and had no real reaction I
could read. After
I finished she just sat there.
I really needed to pee again and was getting
My wives noticed and said just go ahead and use
the diaper, as that is what it’s for.
I had a hard time releasing because of the
situation, but the need was too overwhelming and I was
able to fill my diaper again, only this time it was much
too much for the diaper to hold and it leaked out of the
seam around the legs leaving a wet spot on the bed.
This was tough and I tried to hide it from my
could see that I was embarrassed about something.
She asked me to stand and see what was the
just stood there staring at the spot on the bed with her
hands on her hips.
She began to shake her head and I knew I was in
She told me to clean up and
meet me in the front room after a shower that she needed
to think for a bit while I was in the bathroom.
That was the most difficult shower I ever had
and I spent a long time in there because I was afraid at
what was going to happen.
diaper was in the sink waiting for what I needed to do
with it later.
I was so uncomfortable that I was actually
was she going to say and ultimately what was she going
to do? Would
she think this was so disgusting that she would leave.
I have never been so scared in my life.
Was this fetish going to cause me to lose the
one person I cared more for than anything or any one in
my whole life?
I tried to come up with a solution and a promise
to not ever do it again just like the promise I had made
to myself over and over again throughout my life.
I knew inside that that was not ever going to be
a solution, as it had never worked before. When I
finished the shower, I dried off and slowly walked to
the front room wearing a towel.
She walked over and sat down
on the couch and I slowly sat down on the chair opposite
the where she was sitting in and just stared at the
was staring out the window in our living room.
The room had a bay window overlooking a small
valley with a mountain in the background.
We had spent a great deal of time growing a
great place there with some animals and acreage.
It was our dream home.
I knew what she was thinking about doing and it
scared me. She
slowly looked at me and asked me to return to bring all
my “supplies” out for her to look at.
It was obvious the complete honesty would be the
only option at this point.
I went back to our closet and gathered all that
I had which included 5 cloth diapers, some liners (I
frequently overflowed), several pull on plastic pants of
various colors with some blue and yellow diaper pins.
I walked slowly back to the living room and put
them down beside her on the couch.
She asked if that was all I had and I told her
slowly unfolded everything, looked each item over
carefully and then sat back in the couch staring out the
It seemed like an eternity
before she even moved and I needed to go to the bathroom
again as would be expected.
I was getting uncomfortable, was about to get up
and go to the other room, when she asked where I was
told her that I would be right back, and she asked that
I stay for a bit to talk.
I stated that all I was going to do was go to
She told me to hold it for a minute until she
was done talking, but she could not find the words to
asked to step out for a minute, but she insisted.
I sat down on the corner of the couch opposite
to where she was sitting and she asked me to sit down on
the floor. I sat down on the floor and she moved in
front of me holding one of the diapers and pins.
She looked me right in the eye and asked “why”
I wished that I had an idea as to “why”
I didn’t know myself.
Why did this become such a problem and what was
going on inside my head keeping this curse alive?
I was at a loss as to what to say and all I
could say was “I wish I knew and I had no idea”.
I put my head in my hands and began to sob
I though for sure that I had lost her forever
with what had happened and was sure that I would need to
make arrangements for a life alone.
She sat down beside me and much to my surprise
she reached over and put her hand on my shoulder then
lay her head on my other shoulder.
I reached back and gently brushed her cheek and
she kissed me ever so lightly on the back of the neck.
I asked the question that was burning into my
soul, “What now?”
She touched my lips and stopped my speech.
She then motioned to the floor to have me lie
asked what was up and she put her hand over her lips
shushing me, suggesting that no words were to be said.
I immediately was quiet when she grabbed the
diaper and slid it under my buttocks and pinned it into
then grabbed a pair of yellow plastic pants and slid
them over my legs and pulled them over my hips after
motioning me to lift them up.
She then lay down by my side , rolled me on my
side facing the other way and reached around to hold me
in her arms.
I told her that I still needed to go to the
bathroom when she whispered, “I know” and It’s OK.”
“We can get through this together.”
I had to pee so bad so I let it go while laying
there beside her and gently began to sob again.
I had no idea that she loved me as she did and I
loved her more then than ever.
She reached down to my groin and felt the warmth
of my diaper and said, we need to do something about
told her to wait, as I was not quite ready to let her go
just yet so we lay there for about 30 minutes just
holding each other.
I really didn’t want the moment to end, but she
stated that she needed to go to the bathroom, so she
told me to wait there till she got back.
I lay there on the living room floor thanking my
lucky stars that she was so understanding and then I
heard the toilet flush.
She didn’t come back for what I thought was a
long time. I
called to her and was about to get up and go to see what
was keeping her when she told me to wait in the room and
not come in to the bedroom.
So I sat back on the floor to wait.
After what seemed like an eternity she called
for me to come to the bedroom.
When I walked into the room I saw all of her
panties on the bed.
She motioned me over to her side at the foot of
the bed and grabbed my hand and held on to my arm,
gesturing at all her underwear and gently asked, “well?”
I reached around her and gently touched her hip
and asked what ones she was wearing.
She called me a naughty boy and removed her
was my beautiful wife with a pair of yellow bikini
a 26 inch waste and 36 inch hips she could make a pair
of anything look good.
I slid them off of her hips revealing her
sweetness and she stepped out of them and pulled my head
against her thigh.
I began to kiss her thigh gently as a gesture of
thanks when she began to sigh ever so subtly.
I reached that point where I knew she wanted
more, but when I tried to take my diaper off she stopped
said “Based on what I told her I needed to remove sexual
pleasure from the diaper wearing if we wanted to get
through this and she couldn’t enjoy intercourse with my
I then offered to satisfy her in another way,
which she accepted.
My tongue knew what to do and just where her
sweet spot was located.
I will not go into details, but suffice it to
say it was obvious that she was satisfied.
I then asked what was I to do.
I knew the answer.
She reached down and handed
me her yellow panties and motioned for me to go to the
set them down on the vanity and we both stepped into the
shower together where she removed my diaper.
She allowed me to wash her off “everywhere” then
she returned the favor concentrating on the area of most
sensitivity with similar results for me that she had
stepped out of the shower and dried each other off and
kissed long and hard.
She reached over to the vanity and grabbed her
used panties, we separated and she asked me to step into
obliged and she pulled them up over my hips.
They were a little snug in certain areas, but
She kissed me again and took my hand leading me
to the bedroom where she grabbed her panties from the
bed putting them in her drawer.
She put on a new pair of panties, a pair of
light blue ones with lace around the leg openings.
She then went put her clothes back on while I
sat on the bed.
She came over to me kissed me again and then
stated that she still needed to go see her mother as
Her next comment was
what set the tone for the future.
She said, “I still do not have a complete idea
of what to do” but she said she would contemplate a plan
of action while she was at her mothers for the next 2
said I understood and that I would be honest from now
required of me to notify her of any diaper desires while
she was gone and then suggested that I wear one nightly
until she returned and she had a couple of pairs of
panties in the hamper that I was free to wear while she
was gone if I so chose, but that I was to inform her if
I did so. I
agreed and she left for her mothers.
I just sat there on our bed staring at my new
underwear with specific questions wondering what I was
in store for in the near future.
I was soon to find out.
Now for the weekend to contemplate the future
alone at home.
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