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When Jackie had finished changing Hannah, she went to quickly get ready to go out whilst Hannah went downstairs. She sat back down on the sofa next to Marie.
"Hey" she said.
"What are you watching?"
"I don't know really. I was just flicking through the channels" Marie replied. She carried on flicking through the channels for a while, pausing briefly on a few before turning it over again. After about 25 minutes Jackie came downstairs, all ready to go out.
"I'm not sure what time I will be back, so if you two have already gone to bed, then I will see you in the morning ok"
"Ok. So are you still going to ring the doctor?" Hannah asked.
"Yes. And I will wake you up before I leave for work if you are not already awake" Jackie said.
"I'm going to have to leave now. Han, will you be ok changing your nappy?" she checked.
"Yeah mum, I will be fine. I'll see you later" Hannah said. Jackie went over and kissed the top of Hannah's head.
"Be good" Jackie said as she walked out of the room. A couple of minutes later Hannah and Marie both heard the front door opening and then shutting to signal that Jackie had gone.
"So we have the house to ourselves. What do you want to do?" Hannah asked.
"I don't know. We could have a girly night. Like watch chick flicks or something" Marie said vaguely.
"We could. But I don't really have many chick flick type of films" Hannah said.
"Oh ok then" Marie said.
"I guess it is TV then".
They did not end up doing much, just staying in and watching TV. Both girls were feeling quite tired by about half ten, so ended up going up to bed. Hannah's nappy was wet, so she changed it whilst Marie was in the bathroom. Marie came in at the end to fasten the tapes. Hannah didn't have a double bed, but she did have a spare bed under hers, which was on wheels. When they were both ready for bed, they pulled the bed out and then quickly put some sheets on it, so that Marie would have somewhere to sleep. Hannah was the first to fall asleep. She didn't have her dummy, so ended up sleeping with her thumb in her mouth. Marie was awake for about half an hour after Hannah fell asleep. She heard Jackie coming in, and then started to drift off.
The next morning, Marie woke up when she heard knocking on Hannah's bedroom door. It took her a moment to remember where she was. Marie looked over to Hannah who was still sleeping.
"Come in" Marie said to Jackie. She came in.
"I didn't know if either of you would be awake, so I didn't want to just barge in" Jackie said. She looked as if she was completely ready for work.
"I just woke up" Marie said.
"Right, well I've got to set off to work in ten minutes, so I will just change Hannah and tell her about her doctors appointment" Jackie said. She walked over to Hannah's bed and gently shook her to wake her up. As Hannah started to stir, Marie got up and went to the bathroom, figuring that she would give Hannah some privacy whilst she was having her nappy changed.
Whilst Hannah rubbed her eyes, Jackie got the changing supplies.
"I rang the doctor this morning when the surgery opened. You have an appointment at quarter to eleven ok" Jackie said. When she got no reply or acknowledgement from Hannah, she repeated the time of the appointment.
"Yeah mum, I heard you the first time" Hannah said. She hated been woken up when she did not actually need to be awake.
"Ok, I was just making sure that you didn't forget. The appointment is with Doctor Roberts ok. Make sure that you tell her everything. Don't leave it out because you are embarrassed to tell her. The only way she will be able to help you is if she knows what is really happening"
"Yeah ok mum, I got it. I don't need the lecture. I will tell her everything," Hannah said. She wanted her mum to leave her to go back to bed. Jackie quickly changed Hannah into a pull-up, which of course involved Hannah having to get out of bed and stand up. By the time Hannah had done that, she was more awake.
"Remember, quarter to eleven at the surgery. I've got to leave for work ok. Text me or ring me when you get out of the doctors to let me know how it went"
"I will," said Hannah watching her mum walk out of her room.
On her way downstairs, Jackie saw Marie coming out of the bathroom.
"Hannah's appointment is quarter to eleven. Can you make sure that she is there on time please?" Jackie asked.
"And don't let her fall back to sleep in that pull-up, just in case she wets again"
"Ok" Marie said.
Hannah was just starting to get dressed when Marie came back into the room.
"I figured that since I am awake, I might as well get dressed as well" Hannah explained.
"And that way I am not tempted to go back to bed"
"Oh ok" Marie replied.
"I might as well get dressed as well," she said.
"Although I don't actually have anything to wear. I mean besides what I was wearing yesterday"
"You borrowed a shirt of mine to sleep in, so you can borrow some clothes to wear today as well. Its not as if I'm not going to see you again. You can even have a pull-up so that you don't have to wear the same knickers again," said Hannah. It was said in a very lighthearted tone, so that Hannah could laugh it off as a joke if Marie hated the idea. The look on Marie's face seemed to say that Marie thought that Hannah was been completely insane by even suggesting the idea. Therefore when Marie gave her reply, it came as a huge shock to both of them.
"Really. Ok. I mean it is kinda skanky to wear the same underwear two days in a row"
"I thought you would say no" Hannah admitted.
"I thought I would say no as well to be honest. But I mean a pull-up isn't like a nappy. I can still go to the toilet when I need to" Marie said.
"Oh ok" said Hannah. She got up to get out a pull-up for Marie. Once she had done that, Hannah finished getting dressed.
"I will go and make some breakfast. Give you some privacy to get dressed"
"Thanks" said Marie. She was still holding the pull-up in her hands.
As Hannah walked downstairs, she wondered whether Marie would actually end up wearing the pull-up or whether she would change her mind about it at the last minute.
Hannah was just getting a box of cereal out of the cupboard when she heard Marie coming down the stairs.
"I'm in here" she called, to let Marie know where she was. Marie came into the room.
"So are you wearing it?" Hannah asked, trying to look for any signs of a pull-up.
"Yeah" said Marie. She pulled down the waistband of her jeans to show Hannah the pull-up underneath. After that was done they both resumed making their cereal.
"Are you still ok with going to the doctors with me later?" Hannah asked.
"Yeah. I'm not going to leave you alone for something like that," Marie said.
They spent the morning, lounging around the house, not really doing much. Hannah made sure to put another pull-up in her bag just in case. Marie had kept her pull-up on all morning.
"Are you going to keep the pull-up on to go out?" Hannah asked about five minutes before they were going to be setting off.
"Yeah. I mean no one ever notices yours do they"
"No not really" Hannah said. They both quickly got ready and went out to Hannah's car. Hannah made sure to go to the toilet before she left, as she did not want to end up having an accident at the doctors.
Hannah was fairly nervous as she was driving the short distance to the surgery. She knew that she was going to be fairly embarrassed having to tell her doctor everything about her accidents.
Hannah parked outside the surgery and slowly got out. When she and Marie were inside, Hannah went up to the receptionist's desk.
"Hannah Adams. Here for an appointment with Doctor Roberts" she told the receptionist.
"Ok Hannah. If you take a seat in the waiting room. Doctor Roberts will call you when she is ready". Hannah and Marie went through to the waiting room, and sat down next to each other. There were a few other people in the room. An elderly man, and young woman with a baby. There was also a toddler playing on the floor, which Hannah assumed belonged to the lady. The first to be called was the elderly man. Hannah sat there tapping her foot on the floor nervously waiting for it to be her turn. Eventually the woman was called in, leaving just Hannah and Marie in the waiting room.
"Hannah Adams" she heard her doctor calling out.
"I'll see you in a bit ok," Marie said as Hannah got up.
"Yeah". Hannah got up and followed Doctor Roberts to her room.
"Take a seat" Doctor Roberts said as Hannah closed the door. Hannah did as she was asked.
"So why have you come to see me today?" the doctor asked.
"Well, um, I" Hannah managed to stutter out.
"Its ok. Just relax and tell me," Doctor Roberts said. Hannah smiled. She couldn't believe Doctor Roberts was been so nice to her.
"Well, um...it's my wetting accidents. They have been getting more frequent" Hannah managed to say.
"Ok. Why don't you tell me about it? How frequent are they?"
"Well, they started four years ago. When I was fourteen after my dad died. And I came here and saw another doctor. And he said that they were related to what had just happened, and that they would go away on their own. But then they didn't so I started wearing pull-ups in the day so that having an accident wouldn't be so embarrassing" Hannah said. She took a breath and looked up at the doctor who nodded encouragingly.
"And I still have to wear them now. And well, I have normally had an accident once every couple of days. And I have never had more than one accident in a day. At least before this week. Then on Tuesday I had two accidents in one day. The same thing happened on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday as well. It is kind of worrying me, because they seemed to have increased quickly"
"So you said that the accidents started just after your dad died?"
"Yeah. The first one was like the day after the funeral," Hannah confirmed.
"What about at night? Did you start having problems with bed-wetting at the same time?" the doctor said, as she read about the bedwetting on Hannah's file.
"No. I have always wet the bed. I never stopped doing it" Hannah said.
"From what you have said, it doesn't sound as if the doctor you saw the first time was right. If it was just related to what you were going through at that time then the accidents should have stopped by now rather than be increasing. And also, it doesn't explain the bedwetting"
"So what is it then?"
"From what you have said it sounds as if you have an underdeveloped bladder"
"An underdeveloped bladder?" Hannah said.
"Yes. I mean I couldn't be sure until you had some tests done. But usually if someone has an underdeveloped bladder, it does begin to cause problems in puberty. The fact that your dad died around the same time could have been coincidence, or it could have been that the stress caused by that started it off"
"So what exactly is an underdeveloped bladder?"
"Well, it could be that it is smaller than it should be, which means that it can't hold as much urine. Which would explain why you wet the bed. It could also be that the nerves don't work properly sometimes which means that your bladder isn't able to transmit the message to your brain to let you know to go to the toilet"
"So that would explain the accidents in the day" Hannah realised.
"Yes. And also, an underdeveloped bladder can get worse over time, which would explain why the accidents have been getting more frequent"
"Are they going to carry on getting more frequent then?"
"I don't know. It would be difficult to say" Doctor Roberts said.
"I want to send you to the hospital for more tests. That way you can know for certain"
"Oh ok then" Hannah said. She was still trying to take in the fact that she hadn't been given a definite answer about whether the accidents were going to get worse.
Doctor Roberts got on the phone and started talking to someone on the other end. Hannah looked around the office nervously. She was glad that the embarrassing bit of having to explain everything was over.
When Hannah left the doctor's room, she had an appointment with an urologist at the hospital. It was for over the Christmas holidays, as they had managed to fit her in where someone else had cancelled.
Marie was still waiting in the waiting room, flicking through a magazine.
"Marie, I'm finished," she said. Marie looked up, and then stood up. They walked out of the surgery together.
"Well, how did it go? What did she say?"
"She said that she thinks I have an underdeveloped bladder," Hannah said. They both got in the car.
"What is that then?"
"It means that it might be smaller, or it might not be sending the messages to my brain properly. And also, if it is that, then it also explains the bedwetting thing"
"How do you find out if it is actually that?"
"I have to go for some tests"
"So how come the accidents have got more frequent?"
"She said that with an underdeveloped bladder, they could do that"
"Are they going to carry on getting more frequent?"
"I don't know. She didn't really say". Hannah started the car.
"Are you coming back to mine, or do you want me to drop you at home?"
"Yours. I have some stuff still there. I mean unless you have to go to uni or something?"
"Well I will have to set off in about an hour. I can drop you home on my way to uni"
"Oh ok cool" Marie said. Hannah noticed that Marie was jiggling about in her seat a bit. Hannah wondered why Marie seemed unable to sit still, but didn't want to say anything. Eventually Hannah set off.
When they got back to Hannah's house they both went inside.
"Got to pee" Marie said urgently as soon as she got in the house. Hannah let Marie go past her and up the stairs. As Marie disappeared around the corner at the top of the stairs, Hannah couldn't help but wonder why Marie had waited until she was so obviously desperate, why hadn't she just gone at the doctors surgery, or even used the pull-up. Hannah went upstairs as well to get her things ready for when she went to university so that she did not have to do it later.
She was just looking for a folder of work trying to find a particular sheet of information when Marie walked into the room.
"How come you didn't go to the toilet at the doctors if you were so desperate?" Hannah asked.
"Well, I didn't want you to come out and wonder where I had gone. And then when you did come out I thought that I would be able to hold it until we came back"
"Did you manage to hold it?"
"Yeah. The pull-up is still dry" Marie said.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to find this random sheet I need for my class this afternoon. I thought that I put it in this folder, but I can't find it" Hannah explained.
"Where else would it be?"
"I don't know". Hannah explained what the sheet looked like and handed Marie a pile of paper to look through.
With both of them looking, the sheet was found fairly quickly. Hannah put it in her bag so that she wouldn't forget it.
"You know if your accidents get worse, will you have to wear nappies all the time?" Marie suddenly asked.
"I don't know. I mean it is annoying having to change after every time I have an accident in the pull-ups. If I wore nappies all the time then at least I wouldn't have to bother changing all time" Hannah said after she had thought about it for a minute.
"What about wearing them in public?"
"I suppose I would get used to it. I mean no one ever notices my pull-ups". Hannah picked up her bag.
"Are you coming downstairs?"
"Yeah" said Marie. She quickly picked up her things that were lying around on Hannah's floor.
Once downstairs Hannah dropped her bag by the door, and went through to the kitchen. She quickly made sandwiches for her and Marie. They only just managed to finish them before Hannah needed to set off. She had to set off slightly earlier than she normally would have done, as she had to drop Marie off on the way.
When Hannah got to university she parked and then walked to the building that her class was in. She shared the class with her friends Paula, Sammy and Stacey. When the class started Hannah found it quite difficult to concentrate on what was going on as she was thinking about how her life would be different if she had to wear nappies full time. Hannah knew that she was going to have to quickly get over her phobia of going outside with a nappy on. She was also going to have to get a lot better at changing herself. Another thing that worried Hannah was that it might be difficult to get to the toilet if she knew that she needed to go. An advantage that Hannah thought of was that she was not going to need to change every time she wet herself, and she wouldn't have to completely remove her trousers to change, as she now had to do with the pull-ups. Trying to get her mind off that topic, Hannah tried to concentrate on what the tutor was saying. She even managed to write a few notes down, so that she had something to show for those two hours. After concentrating on the class for about twenty minutes, her thoughts began to drift again, but this time to Kendra's flat mate Jamie, and their date on Thursday night.
Hannah was going to go home on Thursday after her class, then come back for the date. Rather than go back home afterwards she was going to spend the night in Kendra's room. Hannah hoped that the date went well, otherwise it could be quite uncomfortable seeing him the next morning, and whenever she spent time at Kendra's flat.
When the class finished, she walked out of the room with Paula, Sammy and Stacey.
"Are you ok Han? You seemed to be in your own world for the entire class," Sammy asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just have something on my mind" Hannah replied. She tried to put to the back of her mind everything that she had spent the last two hours thinking about.
"Oh ok. So what are you doing now?"
"No idea. Probably going home to do nothing," Hannah said. Paula and Stacey were walking slightly in front of Hannah and Sammy.
"How about you?"
"Probably the same thing as you, walking home and doing nothing" Sammy replied. She lived only a five-minute walk away. Paula and Stacey stopped to let Hannah and Sammy catch up.
"So have you got any plans for the rest of the afternoon?" Hannah asked Paula and Stacey.
"Not much. I'm going out tonight with a couple of my flatmates" Stacey replied.
"I've got to get home. My youngest son is turning 14 tomorrow. We are going out tonight for a family meal" Paula replied. She had three teenage children. A girl and two boys. The four of them carried on walking, until Stacey turned to head towards the halls of residence. Paula, Hannah and Sammy walked to the car park. As they were walking, it started to rain. By the time they were in the car park it was raining rather heavily, and Sammy did not look too pleased at the thought of having to walk home in the rain.
"Sammy, do you want a lift home?" Hannah asked.
"Yeah thanks" Sammy replied. She and Hannah headed towards Hannah's car whilst Paula went to hers. When they were at the car they both got in and Hannah set off. It was only a couple of minutes before they were at Sammy's house. It was still raining.
"Do you want to come in for a bit? That way you won't have to be driving in the heavy rain"
"Ok thanks" Hannah said. They both got out, Hannah making sure to bring her bag with her just in case she needed to change her pull-up.
"There is no one else in, so we have the house to ourselves" Sammy said. She unlocked the front door and walked into the house.
"Oh ok cool"
"Do you want something to drink, or whatever?" Sammy asked, trying to be a good hostess.
"Yeah thanks," said Hannah. She followed Sammy through to the kitchen.
"Ok, we have all the usual stuff. You know, juice, water, coffee, tea, milk, and we might even have some coke"
"Water will be fine" Hannah said. Sammy poured her a glass, and then handed it to Hannah. Hannah drank down a couple of sips whilst Sammy got herself a drink.
"We can go through to the lounge. And watch TV or something" Sammy said. She led the way through to the lounge. She sat down on one of the chairs. Hannah sat down on the sofa. She realised that she was still holding her bag, so she put it down on the cushion next to her.
The two girls started talking. They talked about a couple of assignments that they had due in after Christmas, and about other things as well. Hannah was just in the middle of telling Sammy about her upcoming date with Jamie when she realised that her pull-up was wet. She froze and stopped speaking.
"Are you ok?" Sammy asked when Hannah stopped speaking. Hannah blinked a couple of times.
"What, oh yeah I'm fine. Where is the bathroom?" Hannah asked.
"Um, go up the stairs and it is the door right in front of you" Sammy told her. Hannah put her drink down and then grabbed her bag. As she was walking out of the room, she noticed the confused look on Sammy's face. Sammy was looking at Hannah carrying her bag.
"Time of the month" Hannah explained as she walked out of the room.
Hannah made her way upstairs and easily managed to find the bathroom. She went into it and locked the door behind her, then fell back onto the closed door. She was mortified that she had had an accident at the house of someone who didn't know that she wore pull-ups. The fact that it was also the first accident after her visit to the doctors upset her slightly as well. After standing there for a couple of minutes feeling like she was going to start crying, Hannah got to work changing her pull-up. She got the wipes and a fresh pull-up out of her bag. Hannah then pulled down her trousers and dropped them on the floor. She ripped open the sides of the wet pull-up and also dropped it onto the floor. She wiped herself then got the dry pull-up on. Hannah pulled her trousers back on and then crouched down on the floor to roll up her wet pull-up. She put it in the plastic bag that she always kept in her bag. Then having no where to dispose of the pull-up she put it back in her bag to throw away when she got the chance.
Once all that was done, she made sure that the pull-up she was wearing wasn't showing at all. She flushed the toilet just in case Sammy was listening, washed her hands then left the bathroom, bag in hand. She headed back downstairs and left her bag at the bottom of the stairs.
Hannah walked back into the lounge and sat down again on the sofa. Hannah shuffled backwards into the back of the sofa, and then crossed her legs in front of her. Once she was comfortable she lent forward to grab her drink from the floor where she had left it. As Hannah sat back up properly, she looked over to Sammy, who again had the confused look on her face. Hannah quickly put her hand behind her back to check whether her pull-up had been showing. Her eyes widened as she felt that the back of the pull-up had risen above her trousers. Hannah hoped that Sammy was looking confused for another reason, and not because she had seen Hannah's pull-up. Hannah sat there tentatively waiting to see whether Sammy was going to mention anything.
"Do you want to watch TV or something?" Sammy finally said.
"Yeah ok" said Hannah trying to sound relaxed. Sammy grabbed the remote control and switched the TV on. As it was almost half past four on a weekday afternoon there was not much on the TV. Sammy didn't have Sky, which meant that they had to choose between two channels of children's programmes, a cooking show and a game show. They eventually settled on one of the children's programmes. Hannah was pleased as whenever she was at home on a weekday afternoon she would choose to watch the children's programmes. Usually curled up in the chair with her thumb in her mouth.
As they sat watching TV, Hannah kept looking out of the window to see whether the rain had subsided.
"Do you have to be home for anything in particular?" Sammy asked when she saw Hannah's eyes move towards the window for the fifth time.
"No, not really. I just don't want to be a burden to you or anything"
"You aren't been a burden to me. Honestly" Sammy said.
"You can stay as long as you want to"
"Oh thanks" Hannah said.
"So what time will your parents be home?"
"Well I live with my dad and step mum..." Sammy said. Hannah interrupted her.
"I didn't know that you had a step mum. I thought you lived with your mum and dad"
"Well, my mum died when I was about three. My dad remarried when I was about eight"
"Yeah, I don't really remember my real mum because I was young"
"So do you get on with your step mum then?"
"Yeah. Anyway, what I was going to say was that I live with them two and my stepbrother. He is 16. He was supposed to be going to a friend's house after school, so he won't be back for a while. And my parents both get in at about half six. So we are going to be alone for a while"
"Oh right ok"
"And my dad said that he was going to bring home something for tea. So you can stay for that as well if you want" Sammy offered.
"I don't know if I will be able to do that. My mum will probably be expecting me home. I have something that I kind of need to talk to her about as well," said Hannah referring to her trip to the doctors.
"What do you need to talk to her about?" Sammy asked.
"Oh, I'm sorry, is it personal. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to"
"Well, it is quite personal. I went to the doctors this morning and I kind of have to tell my mum what the doctor said"
"Is something wrong with you?" Sammy asked.
"Kind of. I mean I have to go for more tests at the hospital so they can figure out if it is what the doctor thinks it is"
"Are you really sick or something?" Sammy asked, her eyes going wide.
"No, don't worry about it. I'm fine" Hannah said.
"Oh ok" said Sammy. She did not sound convinced by Hannah saying that she was fine.
"Seriously. It is something that I have had to deal with for my entire life really. It is just changing. That's all"
"Are you epileptic or something?"
"No. If I was then I probably wouldn't even be able to drive. It is just embarrassing. That's why hardly any people know about it"
"Oh ok. Well, if you ever want someone else to talk to it about, then I am here" Sammy said.
"Thanks" said Hannah looking out of the window again.
"It looks like the rain has almost stopped, so I should probably be heading home". She stood up.
"I'll see you tomorrow ok"
"What, oh yeah ok" Sammy said. She stood up to walk Hannah to the front door. They walked into the hallway, and Hannah bent down to pick her bag up. As soon as she stood up again, her hand automatically to her lower bag, and she again felt that the top of the pull-up had come up over the top of her trousers. Still trying to tuck it in, she spun round to look at Sammy. This time there was no mistaking the fact that Sammy had seen it. She had been stood right behind Hannah, so there was no way that she could have missed it. As soon as Hannah saw the look on Sammy's face she went bright red.
"What are you wearing?" Sammy asked.
"Well...um" said Hannah trying to think of something to say.
"Because it sure didn't look like any sort of underwear I've ever seen," Sammy said.
"I should be getting home," Hannah said, trying to avoid talking to Sammy.
"Come on Han, what is it?"
"Nothing. I'm just wearing regular knickers"
"But you aren't. I won't tell anyone if it is supposed to be a secret"
"Ok fine. Can we talk in the lounge or something?"
"Yeah fine" Sammy said. She turned round to walk into the lounge. Hannah reluctantly followed her, wishing that she could have gone back in time and not left her bag in a place where she was going to have to bend down to get it. Sammy sat on one end of the sofa and Hannah sat on the other. Hannah turned round to face Sammy and crossed her legs in front of her.
"I guess I owe you an explanation," Hannah said slowly. She grabbed a cushion and held it in her lap.
"Well, it is kind of related to what I went to see the doctor about"
"So what was it that I saw? That you are wearing" Sammy asked.
"Yeah, it's kind of like the sort of thing a parent might use if they were potty training their kid"
"So how come you are wearing one? Aren't you potty trained?"
"Yeah, I was potty trained at the normal age. But then I started having accidents when I was 14. They started off fairly slow. Like I had the first one, then it was two weeks before the second one. I ended up wearing pull-ups so that it wouldn't be so embarrassing when I had an accident. And since then I have averaged at about an accident every other day" Hannah said trying to avoid looking at Sammy.
"Whoa. I would never have known" Sammy said.
"I mean you can't tell from your clothes and stuff"
"Yeah, well I wear stuff that won't show what I am wearing underneath"
"So how come you went to the doctor about it?"
"The um accidents have sort of been increasing. I went because the doctor I saw when I was 14 originally said that the accidents were stress related because they started right after my dad died, so I was wondering why they were getting worse. The doctor I saw this morning said that it might be that I have an underdeveloped bladder. That's why I wanted to go home really. Because I haven't seen my mum and really need to talk to her about it"
"Oh right. You can go if you want. And don't worry I won't tell anyone what you just told me"
"Thanks" Hannah said. She stood up again, and automatically checked whether her pull-up was showing. Even though Sammy knew that she was wearing it, it didn't mean Hannah wanted to show it off. Sammy stood up as well, and walked Hannah to the front door. Hannah picked up her bag. Sammy was about to open the front door to let Hannah out, when it opened from the other side.
"Hi Sam" said the guy that came through the door. Hannah figured that it was Sammy's stepbrother.
"Hi Dean. This is my friend Hannah from uni"
"Oh hi Hannah" Dean said.
"Hi" said Hannah. Dean walked past both of the girls and into the kitchen.
"So I'll see you tomorrow then" Hannah said.
"Yeah. Will you be in the canteen before the seminar?"
"I don't know. It depends on what time I leave home" Hannah replied.
"Oh ok then" Sammy said. Hannah walked out of the door. As she walked out to her car, she thought about her aim when she started university. To keep the fact that she wore pull-ups from the people that she made friends with. She had almost managed to go a term without anyone finding out, but then in the space of a week three of her friends had found out.
Hannah got into her car and threw her bag on to the passenger seat. She quickly started the car and drove off. She switched on the radio. It was on her favourite station and as well as that, it was one of her favourite songs as well. As she drove home, Hannah tried to put the conversation she had just had with Sammy to the back of her mind.
On her way home she popped into the local shop. It was a shop she had been going to since she was a baby. In fact as a toddler and child she used to walk round with her brother and sister sometimes, and get sweets.
Hannah parked her car, and then grabbed her bag. As soon as she picked it up, she remembered the wet pull-up that was still in there. She had not yet had a chance to throw it out. As she was walking into the shop she reached into her bag and got out her purse. The last thing she wanted to happen was for the shop assistant to see in her bag if she opened it at the counter. If anyone did see into it, they would see the bag with the used pull-up, the wipes and a fresh pull-up that was in there as well.
The first place that Hannah went to was the magazines. She looked at them, even picking up a few to look at them in more detail. Eventually she decided on the one she wanted, so she picked it up and walked around the rest of the small shop.
By the time Hannah got to the counter, she had added a small bottle of coke and a bar of chocolate to the things she was carrying. There was a woman and a schoolboy just ahead of her so Hannah waited.
Eventually Hannah got to the front of the queue, and she put her things on the counter.
"Hello Han" she heard someone say. Hannah spun round to see who was talking to her.
"Chloe, hey" Hannah said when she had seen that it was someone that she had used to go to school with. She and Chloe were not really friends at school, but had shared some classes, and were friends with some of the same people.
"So what have you been up to recently?" Chloe asked.
"Three fifty please" the shop assistant said. Hannah quickly got out a five-pound note and handed it over.
"I've not really been up to much. I am at the local uni," Hannah said as she waited for her change. Hannah was handed her change and a carrier bag. She dropped the change into her purse and then put the purse into the carrier bag so that she was able to avoid opening her bag. Hannah then moved aside to let Chloe pay for her things. They walked out together, and Hannah found out that Chloe had got a job in an office in town, and was saving up money so that she would be able to move out of her parent's house.
They said goodbye when Hannah got to her car. Chloe had walked to the shop and lived in the opposite direction to Hannah. When Hannah got into the car, she dumped her bag and the carrier bag on the passenger seat. As Hannah started her car, she saw Chloe crossing the street.
When Hannah got home she put the used pull-up in the wheelie bin outside the back door. She knew that her mum was working late all this week meaning that she was not going to be home until about half past six. Hannah checked the time as she headed up to her room. It was quarter to six, meaning that she had about three quarters of an hour. Once she was in her room, Hannah laid on her stomach on her bed and spread out the magazine in front of her. She grabbed the bottle of coke and the chocolate bar. Hannah quickly realised that it was kind of tricky to drink whilst lying on her front, so she decided to leave the coke until she was sat up. However she did open the chocolate bar and start eating that.
Hannah stayed lying on her bed until she heard her mum coming home. When she heard the front door opening, she lifted herself of the bed to go downstairs. As she stood up Hannah felt wet. She looked down, but as she was still wearing trousers she couldn't see anything. She walked out onto the landing, and looked down the stairs. Jackie was just stood in the hallway taking off her jacket.
"Hi mum" Hannah called. Jackie turned round and looked up the stairs.
"Hello sweetie. Are you coming downstairs?"
"Um, can you change me into a nappy?"
"What's the urgency?"
"My pull-up is wet, so I figured it makes more sense to have a nappy put on now rather than changing into a fresh pull-up and having a nappy put on later"
"How long have you been wet?" Jackie asked as she walked up the stairs.
"I don't know. It was some time in the last three quarters of an hour". They both walked into Hannah's room and Hannah quickly moved the magazine so that she could lie down. She then took off her trousers, leaving her standing there in her wet pull-up and top.
"So what happened at the doctors this morning?" Jackie asked as Hannah laid down. Hannah explained everything whilst she was been changed into her nappy.
"So I have an appointment at the hospital over the Christmas holidays" Hannah finished. Jackie had already finished changing Hannah, so they were both just sat on Hannah's bed.
"So if it is an underdeveloped bladder that you have, will they be able to cure it"
"I don't know. Doctor Roberts couldn't even tell me whether the accidents were going to become more frequent"
"How many have you had today? Was it just that one?"
"No, I had another one earlier" Hannah said.
"So that makes it three days in a row that I've had two accidents"
"Why don't you try and put it to the back of your mind. At least until the appointment at the doctors. And don't start worrying about how many accidents you are having"
"I'm trying not to, but I can't really help it"
"Ok, so what do you want for tea?" Jackie asked.
"I don't know. What are the choices?"
"Well, I think I have some pork chops in the fridge. Or we can go to McDonalds if you want"
"But I'm wearing a nappy" Hannah pointed out.
"Just put on some loose trousers and a long top and no one will know any different," Jackie said. She got up and went over to Hannah's wardrobe and quickly found a long top for Hannah to wear. She then quickly found some loose trousers.
"Here you go. Put these on and see what you feel like in them. I'll be downstairs, so you can come down when you have tried on these clothes and tell me what you feel like doing"
"Ok" Hannah said. Jackie walked out of the room and left Hannah alone with the clothes on her bed. Hannah quickly slipped the trousers on and then walked over to her mirror. As she was walking across her room, she heard the phone ringing, and then heard it stop, when her mum obviously picked it up. Hannah realised that she could barely hear the crinkling as she walked. After checking herself out in the mirror from various angles, Hannah finally concluded that her nappy could not really be seen. She switched her top so that it did not matter if the nappy rose above her trousers and then headed downstairs.
When she went into the lounge, Jackie was on the phone. Hannah just sat down and waited for her mum to finish. Hannah was trying to figure out whom her mum was actually talking to.
"So what have you decided?" Jackie asked when she had finished on the phone.
"Yeah. I will be ok going out"
"Good. I was just on the phone with Louise. Allie is working late tonight, so we are going to pick her up on the way because she is coming to McDonalds with us"
"Oh ok. But how did you know that I was going to say that I wanted to go out?" Hannah asked.
"I didn't really. If you said no, then I was going to suggest we go and get a drive through. That way you didn't have to get out of the car if you didn't want to"
"Oh. I didn't even know that was an option," Hannah said.
"So do you have a change with you?" Jackie said to change the subject.
"We won't be out that long so I think I will be able to last. And also, I don't want to have my nappy changed at McDonalds"
"Yes you might be able to last without a change whilst we are at McDonalds, but we might end up going to Louise's when we drop her off, in which case you might need a change. Now why don't you go upstairs and put a couple of nappies and the other things that you might need in a bag". Hannah went back upstairs and quickly put the things in a bag.
They were both in the car within five minutes. Hannah was wearing a long coat that covered up her bum just so she didn't feel so self-conscious about the nappy. When they got to Louise's flat, she had obviously been looking out of the window for them as she came out fairly quickly. She quickly opened the back door and climbed in. Jackie then drove off, heading towards McDonalds.
"Hi Louise" Hannah said, turning round to look at Louise.
"Hi Hannah. Thanks for picking me up to come with you mum" Louise said. She fastened her seat belt and leaned forward in the chair so that she could join in with the conversation.
When they were almost at McDonalds, Jackie interrupted Hannah as she was talking to Louise about her having a date with Jamie.
"So what are you both having at McDonalds?" Jackie asked.
"Can I have a medium McChicken sandwich meal with coke?" Louise said.
"Can I have a big Mac meal? With chocolate milkshake" Hannah answered.
"Yes, you can both have those things" Jackie said as she pulled into the car park. They all got out and after Jackie had locked the car, walked into McDonalds together. Hannah suddenly became aware again of the fact that she was wearing a nappy, and became self-conscious. Hannah quickly scanned the room, looking to see whether there was anyone she knew, or whether there was anyone looking at her. Hannah was relieved to realise that there was no one in there that she knew. However there was someone who was looking over at Hannah. It was a girl, who looked about the same age as Hannah. She had been looking over to the door, but had looked down as soon as Hannah had looked in her direction.
Jackie went up to the counter to order the food. Louise looked over at Hannah.
"Why don't you go get a table? I'll help mum," Louise said. She walked towards the counter leaving Hannah stood by the door. Hannah quickly grabbed straws and napkins, and found a table. She managed to get a booth, which she gratefully slid into. Normally Hannah preferred sitting at a table with proper chairs, but on this particular occasion she did not want her butt showing at all.
As Hannah sat there waiting for her mum and Louise to come over, she took off the paper from one of the straws and then put the end of the straw in her mouth. She began chewing on it, looking round again at the other people whilst she did it. Hannah noticed the same girl looking at her again. However Hannah didn't have time to think about it, when Jackie and Louise came over, Jackie carrying the tray. Louise sat down next to Hannah whilst Jackie sat down opposite them both. Jackie handed each of her daughters their food, and Hannah took the straw out of her mouth to put it into her drink.
They each ate their food, carrying on a conversation throughout the entire time they were eating. Hannah was the first to finish her food, so she put the end of the straw in her mouth and alternated between drinking the chocolate milkshake and chewing on the straw.
When Jackie and Louise had finished eating, Louise got up to throw the rubbish away. Whilst Louise was doing that, Hannah and Jackie stood up and pulled on their coats. As Hannah was doing that she realised that she needed to pee, but she decided to try and wait until she was at least sat in the car rather than wetting her nappy in front of everyone that was in the room. Jackie decided to go and get some desserts for the three of them. She handed the keys to Louise so that Louise and Hannah could get in the car.
Hannah walked out of McDonalds with Louise. It was pitch black outside and really cold outside. Hannah shivered slightly as the cold hit her. She decided to wet her nappy, as there was no one else around and she thought that it might warm her up a bit. Hannah paused briefly in the car park to start peeing, and then quickly caught up with Louise.
"What did you stop for?" Louise asked as she unlocked the car.
"Um, I'll tell you in the car" said Hannah not wanted to admit that she had just peed her nappy in the middle of the car park. Louise got in the passenger seat and Hannah climbed into the back seat.
"So how come you stopped then?" Louise asked as she pulled her door shut.
"I needed to pee" Hannah said simply. She didn't know whether or not Louise knew that she was wearing a nappy.
"Are you in a pull-up?" Louise asked, sounding confused. She didn't understand why Hannah hadn't just gone to the toilet if she had needed to go. It was fairly obvious that Hannah hadn't had an accident; otherwise she wouldn't have needed to stop walking to do it.
"No, I'm wearing a nappy"
"How come you are in a nappy? Are you wearing them all the time now or something?"
"No, mum changed me and then decided that we were going out for tea. So I decided to wear the nappy"
"But you were completely stressing on Tuesday evening when all you had to do was go out to the car in a nappy" Louise pointed out remembering about paranoid Hannah had been when they had only been outside for less than five minutes.
"That was kind of different because I only had the nappy on under the jacket didn't I. And plus, if my accidents carry on getting more frequent then I could end up in them full time"
"What do you mean?" Louise said.
"Well, you know how I told you about going to the doctors" Hannah said. She had filled Louise in on that on the journey to McDonalds.
"She didn't know what would happen, so I might end up in nappies full time and also" Hannah said. She had been about to say something else, but was interrupted by her mum opening the door to the driver's side of the car. Louise turned round in her seat and took the three McFlurrys' from Jackie. She handed one of them and a spoon back to Hannah. Louise decided to leave her ice cream until she was back home, since she also had to hold Jackie's ice cream.
When they got to Louise's flat, Hannah and Jackie got out of the car as well to go up to the flat for a bit as well. Hannah made sure to grab her bag as well just in case she needed a change.
Hannah had finished her ice cream in the car, so went to put the rubbish in the bin when she got into the flat, whilst Louise and Jackie went to sit down and eat their slightly melted ice cream. Hannah went to sit with them and switched on the TV as well to see if there was anything good on.
After flicking through the channels a couple of times she eventually settled on something. Her thumb found its way to her mouth as she snuggled down into the sofa. Her eyes flickered a couple of times.
"Are you tired Han?" Jackie asked seeing Hannah looking like she was falling asleep.
"No, I'm fine" Hannah replied.
When Jackie and Louise had finished their ice creams, Louise went to throw away the rubbish.
They chatted and watched TV for about half an hour before Jackie announced that it was time that she and Hannah should be getting home.
"Actually mum, do you mind if I drop Hannah off at home in a bit. There is something I need to talk to her about" Louise said. Hannah who had just been getting off the sofa was surprised to hear Louise saying this, as she wasn't aware of anything she particularly needed to talk to Louise about.
"I can wait if you want" Jackie said looking over at Hannah.
"No, I don't know how long it's going to take and there is no need for you to be waiting round. I will drive her back after we have finished talking" Louise said.
"Well ok then" said Jackie.
"I guess I will see you in a bit then Han". She hugged Louise and then went to the front door.
Louise waited until Jackie had gone before she turned to Hannah and spoke to her.
"So what were you going to say earlier?" Louise asked. Hannah looked confused. She didn't know what Louise was talking about.
"You know. In the car. You were in the middle of saying something and mum opened the door and you stopped talking. What were you going to say?" Louise said to clarify what she was talking about.
"Oh yeah, that"
"So" Louise prompted.
"Well, I was going to say that I actually wouldn't mind it if I had to wear nappies all the time"
"How come you wouldn't mind it?" Louise asked. She stood up and then put her legs down on the sofa, so that when she sat down again, her legs were tucked underneath her body.
"Well whenever I am in a pull-up I have to concentrate on when I need to go. And I don't need to worry about that in a nappy. And also, it is really annoying to have to change the pull-up every time I have an accident especially because I have to completely take off what I am wearing to get a dry pull-up on. Changing a nappy would be a lot easier"
"What about the fact that you would have to change yourself sometimes?" Louise pointed out.
"It shouldn't be too difficult. I mean other people manage it don't they. If they can do it, then there is no reason why I can't"
"Ok, one question. Why did you stop talking about this when mum opened the car door? Why not just carry on talking?"
"I don't know. I guess I don't want mum knowing that I would prefer been in nappies full time"
"Why not? She is fine with you been in them at home now isn't she"
"I suppose so. But I mean it would be a whole different thing if I was in them full time" Hannah said.
"And I'm sure she wants me to grow up, and by wearing nappies all the time it would be like taking a step back, and she might think that I would be becoming more dependent on her rather than becoming independent. That's really why I didn't want mum to find out about it. Also, I don't want to tell her that I want to be in nappies full time, and then do it and find that I prefer the pull-ups"
"I have an idea," Louise suddenly said.
"But I would have to check with Allie first"
"What's the idea?"
"Well, why don't you stay here for a couple of days? You can wear nappies full time and change yourself. Then you can see whether you prefer the nappies to the pull-ups and you can do it all without mum finding out"
"I don't know. I would need to talk to Allie about it. Maybe I could ring you tomorrow or something. What time will you be in?"
"I should be finished at uni by one, so can probably be home for half one"
"Ok. My lunch tomorrow is half one till half two, so I might be able to give you a ring then. If not then, it will be after work"
"Oh ok then. Is that really why you wanted me to stay after mum had gone?"
"Um, yeah" said Louise sounding kind of uncertain.
"Come on Lou, what ever else is on your mind, you can tell me"
"There isn't anything else on my mind"
"Ok. Well if there is, you know I am here to listen. I mean it is the least I can do, the amount of times you have done stuff for me over the years"
"Thanks. It's just I don't know if I can tell you. I mean I am supposed to be the big sister. So you talking to me about stuff makes sense, but to me it doesn't seem to work the opposite way. If you know what I mean"
"I don't know. I think I know what you mean. You think that I look up to you, and by telling me your problems I will see you as been more vulnerable and not the strong, unbeatable sister I thought you were, so I won't be able to look up to you in the same way again" Hannah said smiling.
"Is that right?"
"I don't know. Yeah probably"
"Well, I should probably let you know that the way I think of you isn't going to change just because you open up to me a bit"
"Maybe I should drive you home" Louise said to change the subject.
"I think Allie will be back soon so I want to be back before her"
"So will you tell me what it is, when we are in the car?" Hannah said.
"I don't know. It probably isn't such a good idea to tell you at all. I should never have mentioned anything," Louise said.
"Come on. Get your shoes and jacket on". Hannah decided to drop the subject, as it was fairly obvious that Louise wasn't going to tell her what ever it was anytime soon. She stood up and went to put her shoes and jacket on. Louise quickly grabbed her keys and her phone and then got on some shoes and a coat. She was glad that Hannah had chosen not to say anything more on the subject of what Louise was going to say.
They walked out of the flat, Louise locking the door behind them. When they got to the car, they both got in and Hannah leaned forward to switch on the radio. Louise looked over at Hannah whilst she started the car. Hannah was leaning against the side of the car, clearly not in a mood to talk.
"Look Han, the thing. Well, it's kind of not something that I am ready to tell anyone yet ok. Not even Allie. So it's not like I am just keeping it from you"
"Yeah ok whatever," said Hannah quickly. As Hannah said those words she realised how juvenile she was acting. She was in a mood with her sister, simply because Louise hadn't told her something. Hannah realised that she was acting like a child that had been told she wasn't allowed something.
"Han, I hate it that you're mad at me," Louise said. She looked over at Hannah and then patted her on the arm.
"I'm not mad at you" Hannah said, turning in her chair to look at Louise.
"I mean I can hardly be mad at you for not telling me something can I" she added.
"Oh ok. It seemed like you were mad at me" Louise said.
"Yeah, well I sort of realised that I was acting like a bit of a baby. And I mean just because I am wearing a nappy it doesn't mean that I need to act like a baby" Hannah said.
"I mean at least not all the time," she added. Hannah was surprised at herself as normally
"So you aren't mad at me then"
"Nope" Hannah said. By this time they were almost at Hannah's house.
"Are you coming into the house when you drop me off?" Hannah asked.
"No. I should probably get back home just in case Allie gets home and wonders where I am," Louise said. She pulled into the driveway, but because of Hannah and Jackie's cars that were already in there, she was not able to get fully into it.
"I will speak to you tomorrow at some point ok" Louise said. Hannah opened her door and grabbed her bag. Hannah quickly leaned over and gave Louise a quick hug before getting out of the car.
Hannah walked up to the house and went to grab the door handle. She expected that it would be open, so was surprised to find that it was locked. Hannah rang the doorbell and then turned round. Louise was still in the driveway. She had been waiting to see Hannah go in the house before she drove off. Hannah rang the doorbell a couple more times and still got no answer. She shivered and then decided to go back to the car and ring the home phone from there.
When she opened the car door, Louise looked at her.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"I have no idea. The door is locked and mum isn't answering the doorbell. And I forgot to bring my key with me because I thought that I was going to be going home at the same time as mum" Hannah answered. She got the phone out of her bag and quickly pressed the button to ring the home number. Hannah was expecting her mum to answer, so was surprised when it went to the answer machine.
"Mum, it's me. Are you there? Pick up. Mum. Well, call me when you get this" Hannah ended up saying. Once she had hung up the phone, she turned round so that she could see Louise.
"She's not picking up the phone. I don't suppose you have your key on you?"
"Not on me no. It's at the flat. I'll drive us back and get it" Louise said. She started the car, and took another look towards the windows as she reversed out of the driveway.
Within ten minutes they were back parked outside Louise's flat. They walked up the stairs, and Hannah waited in the lounge whilst Louise went to find the set of keys she had for Jackie and Hannah's house. Hannah wondered what would happen if she couldn't get into her house for some reason. Obviously she would have to stay over at Louise's flat, but she had already peed in the nappy she was wearing, and she only had one other in her bag.
After about ten minutes Louise appeared again holding a key in her hand.
"Come on Han. I've found the key. Lets get going" she said. Hannah stood up and they walked out of the flat. As they were walking down the stairs, they saw Allie walking up them. All three of them stopped and Louise quickly told Allie where she and Hannah were going.
"I'll see you in a bit" Louise finished. Hannah started walking down the stairs whilst Louise quickly kissed Allie.
They both quickly got into the car and Louise drove them back to Hannah's house.
"What happens if I can't get in still?" Hannah asked.
"Well, you will have to come back to the flat and stay there. You can sleep there as well and go home in the morning"
"But I only have one nappy. Besides the one I am wearing. And there is no way that they will last all that time". Louise sighed. If this were any other person, then there would be no problem what so ever with them having to stay over at short notice with none of their things. With Hannah they had to take into account whether or not she had enough nappies or pull-ups.
"It will be ok. I think we might have a couple of spare nappies and pull-ups somewhere," Louise said.
"Oh yeah of course" said Hannah. She suddenly remembered something that had happened six months ago. She had been in town on her own and as she had only intended to be there for about an hour, she didn't bring a spare pull-up with her. Hannah had happened to run into Louise in town and ended up going back to Louise's flat. Hannah had been there for quite a while, and had had an accident in her pull-ups. Not only had she had an accident, but also Hannah hadn't even noticed for quite a while. It had only been when Hannah stood up, that Louise had noticed that a bit of wetness had leaked through onto her trousers. Hannah had ended up driving back home sat on an old towel, the wet patch visible on her trousers. After that had happened, Jackie had taken over a couple of pull-ups and a couple of nappies for Hannah to use in an emergency.
When they got to Hannah's house, both of them got out of the car and walked up to the door. Louise quickly put the key in the lock and was pleasantly surprised when she was able to unlock the door. They both walked into the house.
"Mum, hello. Are you in?" Hannah shouted. She stood at the bottom of the stairs and shouted again. After not getting an answer Louise and Hannah walked around the house trying to find their mum. They found that the bathroom door was locked.
"Mum" said Louise knocking on the door.
"Hannah" they both heard.
"Mum, its me and Louise" Hannah said.
"How come the door was locked and you didn't answer the phone?"
"Well, I thought you had you key with you. I am in the bath, so that's why I locked the door. And I forgot to bring the portable phone in here with me. So I couldn't answer when you called" Jackie said loudly.
"Is it alright if I talk to you later. I am almost finished," she said.
"Yeah ok" said Hannah. She and Louise turned round and went downstairs. When they were halfway down the stairs Hannah suddenly stopped, causing Louise to almost walk into her.
"How come you stopped?" Louise asked.
"I gotta go to the toilet," Hannah said.
"Mum's in the bathroom so I will have to go in my nappy. I need to poop, so can you wait and change me before you go. Please?" Hannah asked.
"Yeah. Do you want to go to your room and I will come in a couple of minutes," Louise said. She moved to the side to let Hannah get past her. Hannah managed to make it to the top of the stairs before she squatted down suddenly. It was fairly obvious to Louise what she was doing. When Hannah had finished, she turned round to look at Louise.
"I guess you don't need to wait a couple of minutes before you come to my room," she said blushing slightly. Louise walked up the stairs and followed Hannah into her room.
"Did you purposely do it at the top of the stairs rather than in here?" Louise asked as Hannah laid down on her changing mat and Louise got everything she was going to need.
"No. I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I did try" Hannah protested.
"When did you first realise that you needed to go?" Louise asked. She untaped Hannah's nappy and proceeded to wipe her.
"Just before we went to go downstairs. I thought I would be able to hold it for a bit. But then I stopped on the stairs because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to hold it at all" Hannah said.
"Does that happen when you are in pull-ups? Not getting a lot of warning, even for pooping?" Louise asked. She slid the fresh nappy under Hannah and sprinkled some powder onto Hannah's skin.
"Yeah sometimes. I've only really started to notice it happening in the last couple of weeks or something," Hannah said. By that time Louise had finished putting Hannah into a fresh nappy. After putting the things away they went downstairs. Louise had to get back to her flat, so she only stayed for five minutes before she left. She hugged Hannah and told her to say goodbye to their mum for her.
Once Louise had gone, Hannah went back up to her room and switched on the computer. As she waited for it to load up, she remembered how she had spent her previous Monday evening, and how much had changed in the one week. Three of her university friends now knew about her pull-ups, she had found out about Kendra liking nappies as well, she had found out that Marie was bi-sexual, she had a date with Jamie and she had found out that she might very possibly have an under-developed bladder.
Hannah was just signing onto the Internet when Jackie knocked on the door.
"Come in" Hannah said. Jackie opened the door and came into the room.
"Has Louise gone home?"
"Yeah. She had to get back. Allie was expecting her. She said to say bye"
"Oh ok. What was it you both needed to talk about before?" Jackie asked. Hannah struggled to remember. It seemed like that had been ages ago. Whilst Hannah was thinking, Jackie walked across the room to sit on Hannah's bed. Hannah twirled her chair around so that she was still facing her mum.
"Um...nothing really. We talked about me maybe going over and staying with her and Allie for a couple of days" Hannah said, leaving out the part about Hannah wearing nappies full time whilst she was there.
"I don't know. I mean she is my sister. And we thought then you wouldn't have to worry about me been here alone. Like when you go out with Simon" Hannah quickly made up.
"So have you two decided anything yet then?" Jackie asked.
"No. I mean it was only an idea. She needs to check with Allie that it is ok, before we decide on anything" Hannah said.
"Ok. Well, I'm going to give Simon a quick ring then I'm going to bed. So I will see you in the morning sweetie" said Jackie standing up.
"You are at uni for nine tomorrow aren't you?"
"Yeah" Hannah said. She logged onto MSN to see if there was anyone else online. Jackie walked out of the room. Once Jackie had gone, Hannah noticed that Kendra was online. Hannah quickly sent her a message.
The one she got in return read 'Hey Han. Guess who is sat in my room at this very moment'.
'Who?' Hannah quickly typed.
'Jamie of course. Who else did you think it would be? And he is really look' Hannah read. She was confused by the last sentence.
'He is really look?' she asked.
'I was gonna say something else, but he stopped me typing, and then sent the message' Kendra wrote back. Hannah wondered what it was Kendra was originally going to type. She hoped that it was that Jamie was looking forward to their date. Kendra and Hannah carried on talking for a bit longer, until Kendra said she was going to get a drink. Hannah was not waiting for very long before a new message. It was Jamie that she was talking to her. Hannah and Jamie exchanged messages for a couple of minutes, until Jamie suddenly typed that Kendra was coming back. Hannah waited another minute, and then got another message. This time it was actually from Kendra. Hannah and Kendra carried on talking for a bit longer, until Kendra said that she was going to have to go, because Jamie was looking bored because Kendra was ignoring him.
After Kendra had signed out, Hannah checked to see who else was online. When she saw Louise's name appear, Hannah was surprised. Even though Louise had MSN under her own e-mail address, she rarely ever signed in under that name, instead she would either not sign in at all, or use Allie's MSN name. Hannah wasn't surprised when Louise messaged her. She figured that Louise had spoken to Allie and now knew whether or not Hannah would be able to go and stay there for a couple of days.
Hannah quickly found out that Allie was fine with Hannah staying there, and been in nappies full time, even to go out. As it was Monday, Louise and Hannah arranged for Hannah to go over the next evening and stay until Thursday or Friday. Once that had been finalised, Hannah went to see if her mum was still awake, so she could tell her.
Jackie was still awake and was on the phone talking to Simon when Hannah knocked on her door.
"Come in" Hannah heard her mum saying. Hannah opened the door to walk into her mum's bedroom.
"Did you want to speak to me?" Jackie asked.
"Yeah. I will be quick though," Hannah said.
"I just talked to Louise on MSN and we have arranged for me to go over tomorrow afternoon or evening and stay until Thursday or Friday"
"Oh ok sweetie. Why don't we talk about it more in the morning ok" Jackie said.
"Alright" Hannah said. She turned round to walk out of the room.
"Na night Hannah" Jackie said. Hannah went downstairs and got a glass of water. She was quite thirsty so managed to drain the glass before she even got out of the kitchen, so she went back to fill the glass up again. When that was done, Hannah went back to her room and surfed the Internet for a bit. When she went to bed about half an hour later, Hannah checked her nappy and was pleased to find that it was still dry.
Hannah was actually fairly tired so she managed to get to sleep not long after she actually went to bed.
It was about four in the morning when Hannah woke up again. Normally she didn't wake up in the night, so it was quite strange for her to be awake at such at time. The first thing Hannah did was check her nappy. It was completely saturated, which Hannah expected since she had drank two glasses of water before she went to bed. Hannah got out of bed and waddled over to the door to switch the light on. She was worried that the nappy might have leaked onto the sheets. Once Hannah had the light on she went back to look at her bed. It still looked dry, but Hannah knew that she wasn't going to be able to sleep for the rest of the night in the same nappy. She quickly undid the tapes and let the nappy drop to the ground. When that was done, Hannah wiped her self, then got out the powder and a fresh nappy. She lay down on her bed and positioned the nappy underneath herself. After powdering herself, Hannah brought the front of the nappy between her legs. The tapes were the bit that Hannah normally had trouble with, but since it was four in the morning, she could not go and ask her mum for help, and also could not go back to sleep without a nappy on at all in case she wet herself again.
Hannah managed to get the tapes done fairly easily.
"Is that it?" she said to herself.
"I can't believe that I could never do it properly before". Hannah stood up and adjusted the nappy slightly on her body. She then put the powder away, switched the light off and got back into bed. As she was lying there Hannah decided that she was going to start changing her own nappies a lot more often.
"I will change myself all the time when I am at Louise and Allie's," she said aloud to the empty room. As she was thinking about staying at Louise and Allie's, her date with Jamie suddenly popped into her head. Hannah knew that she was going to stay over in Kendra's room after her date, which meant that she would not be able to stay over at Louise's.
"So I will go back to Louise's after I am finished at uni on Thursday, then later on leave there and go back to uni to meet Jamie. Then I won't be going back to Louise's because I will just come home on Friday after my class" Hannah thought aloud. She was glad that there was no one else around to hear her talking to herself.
"So does that mean that I will have to wear a nappy on the date? Or will that be finished so I can wear pull-ups? Because I don't really want to have to wear a nappy on my first date with him". Hannah managed to drift back off to sleep, with the issue of whether she would have to wear a nappy on her date weighing heavily on her mind.
About three hours later, Hannah woke up suddenly. She immediately sat up in bed and looked around. She had just been having a bad dream and had woken up, still convinced that it was actually happening. In her dream she had gone on her date with Jamie and had to wear a nappy as well. Jamie had found out what she was wearing and had insisted on taking out of her bag the spare nappies she had brought with her. In the dream they were at the cinema and he had stood up and held the nappy up for the others watching the film to see. Hannah had been so embarrassed that she had run out of the cinema crying. Then the dream had quickly moved forward in time, and Jamie had told everyone at university that Hannah was a baby that still wore nappies. Everywhere she went on campus, people laughed and pointed at her and shouted out baby at her.
As Hannah laid in bed thinking about that dream, she resolved that there was no way that she was going to wear a nappy on the date. She was not going to run the risk of Jamie finding out. Even if he weren't like her dream, it would still be embarrassing for Hannah if Jamie knew that she wore nappies.
After Hannah had been lying there for a while, she looked over to her clock and realised that her alarm was going to be going off in the next five minutes, so there was no point in trying to get back to sleep. Rather than getting up and starting to get ready for the day Hannah stayed lying in bed waiting for her mum to come into the room. Hannah had checked her nappy and knew that it was only slightly damp.
Hannah's alarm went off and Hannah reached over and quickly silenced it.
"Hannah, are you awake?" Hannah heard from outside her door.
"Yeah. Come in" Hannah called out. Jackie came into Hannah's room and automatically grabbed the wipes. Hannah wanted to wait to see if her mum said anything about that fact that her nappy was practically dry, before Hannah told her the truth.
"Han, your nappy is hardly wet. Well done" Jackie said as she went to change Hannah. Hannah suddenly wished that she had told her mum sooner, because now her mum seemed so pleased with the thought that Hannah had managed to have a practically dry night. Hannah hoped that her mum would be equally pleased that Hannah had changed herself in the middle of the night.
"Well actually, I um woke up at about four and the nappy was close to leaking, so I took it off and put on a fresh one. So I didn't exactly have an almost dry night," Hannah explained.
"You did. And you did a good job with it" Jackie said looking down at the nappy.
"Since you changed you nappy, how about you get yourself into your pull-up this morning. That way I can go and make breakfast," said Jackie. She wanted Hannah to be more independent and not reliant on other people constantly, so hearing that Hannah had changed herself made Jackie feel happy, and the last thing she wanted to do was discourage Hannah from doing it herself by not giving her the opportunity.
"Do I have to?" Hannah moaned.
"Yep. If you come downstairs when you are dressed then I might have made something special for breakfast" Jackie said with a smile. She left the wipes on the bed and walked out of the room, leaving Hannah sat in bed. Hannah sat there looking at the door, as if she thought it was a big joke and her mum was going to come back in at any minute and change her. When it became apparent that it wasn't a joke at all, Hannah quickly changed herself into a pull-up. Rather than getting dressed, Hannah decided to go down to breakfast in only her pull-up and top, and then get dressed after breakfast.
As Hannah walked down the stairs she could hear that her mum was cooking something that was a surprise, as her mum never cooked a breakfast on a weekday morning.
"What are you making?" Hannah asked as she walked into the kitchen.
"Bacon and eggs" Jackie asked, turned round from the hob briefly to look at Hannah.
"How come you aren't dressed? I thought you were at university early today"
"I figured that I could get dressed after I'd eaten" Hannah replied. She went over to one of the cupboards and got out a couple of plates. She then got out cutlery and made some drinks. By the time that Hannah had done that, Jackie had almost finished making the food. Hannah set the table and then sat down.
"Are you going to be changing your nappy more now then?" Jackie wondered aloud.
"Well, you want me to don't you" Hannah said.
"That way I am more independent. You know I can do stuff without worrying about how I am going to get my nappy changed"
"I do want you to be more independent yes. The last thing I would want is for you to be still living here ten years from now because you still need me changing you or something"
"I won't be" Hannah said.
"But will you still change me sometimes"
"Yes of course. If that's what you want" Jackie said.
"Yeah it is. Only sometimes though. Like if I am really tired or something. I am going to try and change myself every time when I am at Louise and Allie's. That way I am not going to be causing them anymore trouble than I already will be" Hannah said, carefully leaving out the fact that she would be in nappies all the time. Jackie started to put the food onto the two plates that Hannah had got out.
Breakfast took slightly longer to take than Jackie had anticipated, so they both ended up having to eat it fairly quickly. Once they had finished, they left the pots and both went to get ready. Hannah went in the bathroom first as she had not gone to the toilet when she had woken up. When she had finished in the bathroom, she went to get dressed and put the stuff she was going to need in her bag. As Hannah had a bit of time left, she started to get out what she was going to need for staying at Louise and Allie's.
After doing this for about ten minutes Hannah had to leave it, as she wanted to make sure she said goodbye to her mum since she would probably be gone before her mum got back from work that afternoon. Hannah went across the landing and knocked on her mum's bedroom door.
"Mum" Hannah said. She pushed the door open and went inside.
"I'm probably not going to see you again. Since I will be going over to Louise's this afternoon"
"Oh. I didn't realise that you would be going over so early," Jackie said. She walked over and gave Hannah a hug.
"When will I be seeing you again then?"
"Um, I'm at Louise's for the next couple of days and then at Kendra's on Thursday night. So I will be back after class on Friday. The next time will be on Friday when you get back from work" Hannah worked out.
"Friday evening" Jackie repeated. She hugged Hannah again.
"Yeah. But that means that you have three evenings to do what you want to do. You can go out with Simon whenever you want and you don't have to worry about been home for me or something"
"Yeah. But I'm still going to miss you, aren't I. Even if it is still only going to be a couple of days," Jackie said. She looked over at her alarm clock. Hannah looked over as well.
"I have to set off. Like now" Hannah said. She gave her mum another quick hug and then ran out of the room. She had her bag with her already, so Hannah just headed straight downstairs. She paused briefly to put some shoes and a jacket on, and then went out to her car.
The ride to university was fairly uneventful. Hannah had some music on and was driving along wondering what it was going to be like for her at university. Three of her friends now knew that she would be in a pull-up. Hannah wondered if any of them were going to be different to her. If anyone was going to be different, Hannah thought that it would most likely to be Sammy, as Sammy was the one that had knew for the least time and was the one that had found out without been told or already having suspicions.
Hannah eventually found a parking space and walked through the campus to the canteen where she knew that some of her friends would be sat. Before going over to sit with them she got a cup of coffee. Coffee wasn't a drink that she had too often, but for some reason she suddenly felt in the mood for coffee.
When Hannah had paid for her coffee she went over to sit with her friends. Paula and Janie both move their chairs aside to make room for Hannah to sit at the table. All of her friends were already sat down. As well as Paula and Janie, there was also Kendra, Georgina , Sammy and Stacey. Hannah looked over to Sammy, but did not notice any weird or funny looks coming from her.
As there was such a big group of them, it was often difficult to have one conversation involving them all, so quite often there would be two or three different conversations going on at once. On this particular occasion Hannah ended up talking to Paula and Kendra. They ended up talking about Hannah's upcoming date with Kendra's flatmate Jamie. Hannah said that she was fairly nervous about it.
"You don't need to be nervous. I'm sure that it will go fine" Paula reassured Hannah.
"Yeah. And you know that Jamie is really looking forward to it as well" Kendra said.
"He keeps asking me what I know about you".
"Guys, we should be getting going" Georgina said to the group as a whole. Hannah quickly finished off the last of her coffee and then grabbing her bag, she stood up.
"I'm all ready," she said.
They all walked to the classroom for their seminar. This week Hannah sat down next to Kendra and was able to quickly tell her that she was going to be spending the next couple of days at Louise's house. Hannah wasn't able to tell Kendra why she was staying with Louise though in case anyone else heard their conversation.
The seminar was fairly routine. They were given some questions to answer on the book that they had read, and had to work on it in small groups. Hannah was put into a group with Janie and a boy from the class who she did not actually know very well. Whilst they were working, Hannah got the urge to pee. As she still had over half the seminar left, and Hannah did not feel like sitting in a wet pull-up for that long, Hannah quickly excused herself and went to the toilets. She managed to make it before she wet herself, which Hannah was glad about, as she had left her bag in the classroom.
When Hannah had finished in the bathroom, she went back into the classroom and got back to work.
After the seminar had finished, the class was told that the lecture had been cancelled as the lecturer who was supposed to be taking it had phoned in sick. No one else had the notes for it either. This meant that Hannah and everyone else could go home earlier. Paula and Sammy didn't stick around at all, and headed home straight out of the classroom. The rest of them went back to the canteen for a bit. The five of them were only there for ten minutes before Georgina decided to head home as well.
As Stacey, Janie and Kendra all lived in the halls of residence, Hannah decided to walk back with the three of them then walk to the car park to go home. She was hoping that it might give her an opportunity to talk to Kendra alone, or maybe even go to Kendra's flat and run into Jamie.
The first flat that they walked past was Stacey's. Then it was Janie's. Finally there was just Kendra and Hannah left.
"Do you want to come in for a bit?" Kendra asked.
"Yeah ok. Um, will Jamie be around?"
"I don't know. He might be" said Kendra smiling. They both went into the flat. Hannah looked over towards Jamie's door as Kendra unlocked her door. When Kendra had opened her door, they both went in the room. Kendra moved some things off the bed, and then sat down. Hannah sat down as well and dropped her bag onto the floor.
As Hannah had not seen Kendra since before she went to see the doctor, Hannah filled Kendra in on what had happened.
"So what is going to happen now then?" Kendra asked.
"I have to go to the hospital. I am going over the Christmas holidays to see a urologist" Hannah replied.
"Will you let me know what happens? Give me a ring or an email or something" Kendra asked.
"Yeah. Oh and guess what"
"I am going to my sisters for a couple of days," Hannah said.
"Well, you know the whole me having more accidents thing. Well, I wanted to try um, wearing nappies full time. That way I don't have to change every time I pee"
"So what does this have to do with going to your sister's?"
"I didn't really want to do the whole wearing all the time thing at home in case I decided that I preferred pull-ups when I am out. And I don't really know how my mum is going to react to it. This way if I change my mind my mum doesn't need to know anything about it. And if I want to carry on with wearing nappies then at least I can say that I have experienced it for a couple of days to my mum" Hannah explained.
"Oh right ok. So how long are you staying at your sisters for then?"
"Um, I will go back there after class on Thursday and then pack up my stuff and come over here for the date and staying over with you"
"Are you going to wear a nappy on your date with Jamie then?" Kendra asked.
"I don't think so. I mean even if I come over here in a nappy, I can always change into a pull-up can't I"
"Yeah I suppose so. So you don't want to go out on the date in a nappy then? But will you be coming to uni on Thursday in one?"
"I don't want to go on the date in one in case Jamie notices it and yeah I'm going to be in one in the day. That is the whole point of wearing them all the time really. So that I can see what it is like to wear them out of the house" Hannah said.
"What are you doing tomorrow then?" Kendra asked.
"Um. Nothing really. Why?"
"I don't have any classes tomorrow, so do you want to do something? Or is to too far for you to travel, when you are not actually coming for a class"
"It's not too far. What sort of thing do you have in mind then?"
"I don't know. We could work on the assignment for a bit, then go into town and look around the shops for a bit"
"That sounds cool. I will have to wait and see what my sister and Allie have in mind for tomorrow though. Louise will be at work, but I don't know what Allie will be doing"
"Oh ok. When will you know then?"
"Some time tonight probably," Hannah answered.
"I will give you a ring, or text you and let you know"
"Cool" said Kendra. They moved onto another topic in their conversation. Kendra told Hannah about how she had worn a nappy over night and had even gone into the kitchen in it to get breakfast the next morning.
"So did you see anyone else?"
"Yep. I ran into Kevin" Kendra said. Kevin was the flatmate that Hannah had met during the fire alarm when she had stayed over in Kendra's room.
"Did he notice?"
"Nope. But I was really paranoid. I was sat at the table when he walked in, and I ended up sitting there until he left as well because I didn't want to get up"
"You will get more used to it, once you start wearing them more often"
"Yeah. I still want to get some pull-ups though," Kendra said.
"And that way I might not be so paranoid about people been able to tell all the time"
"So how come you don't get some then?"
"I don't really want to get them delivered here. You know, just in case anyone sees it and asks what it is. Besides I will be going home for Christmas at the end of the week. If I have enough money I should be able to get some then"
"Won't your parents wonder what it is?"
"My dad is at work every day so I don't have to worry about him. It is just my mum and my sister that I need to worry about"
"If you wanted, you could get them sent to my house and then I could bring them into uni for you. Although I don't know if there would be enough time before you go home. We could do it when term starts again though"
"Ok. Thanks" Kendra said. At that point Hannah realised that she had not been to the toilet in almost two hours. As she was thinking that, Hannah suddenly became aware of how warm her pull-up felt.
"Um, is it alright if I use your toilet" she said.
"Yeah go ahead," said Kendra. Hannah carefully got off the bed, and then turned round to look at the spot where she had been sat. Hannah didn't know how long she had been wet for, so wanted to check that her pull-up hadn't leaked onto Kendra's bed. Once Hannah was satisfied that she hadn't leaked onto Kendra's bed, she bent down to pick up her bag.
"I um, well. I kinda need my bag with me" Hannah said. She was reluctant to actually tell Kendra that she had wet her pull-up, even though Hannah knew that it was blatantly obvious.
"That's fine. I will be here when you are finished," said Kendra. She grabbed her TV remote and turned on the TV, so that Hannah didn't have to be worried about Kendra hearing any noises from the bathroom.
After Hannah finished in the bathroom, it was not very long before she decided to head back home. Kendra said that she would walk Hannah to the car park. The reason that Hannah wanted to leave was because she had felt really awkward about the fact that she had wet herself in Kendra's room and had not even noticed for ages afterwards. Even though Hannah had had accidents and worn nappies around Kendra before, this one occasion made Hannah more awkward and uncomfortable than any accident had done before. Kendra had told her not to worry about it, but Hannah couldn't help but do just that. The fact that she was nervous about staying at Louise and Allie's did not exactly help either.
Once Hannah and Kendra got to Hannah's car, Hannah unlocked it and then hugged Kendra goodbye. The last thing Hannah said before she drove off was that she would ring or text Kendra at some point that evening about doing something tomorrow.
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