For Fetlife especially make sure you take a lot of time making your profile. People really enjoy reading about you before they want to respond to a message/add that you've posted. If you don't know where to start just talk about what you like to do in your vanilla life and then what you like to do in your kinky life and that pretty much covers everything in the profile someone would be wanting to know before starting a conversation.
It definitely works outside of just an online relationship. There's nothing more natural than two people who love each other to naturally want to take care of and be kind to each other. ABDLs just add a little extra to that dynamic.
For me, the couple past girlfriends that I've told have gotten into it somewhat. I never rushed things and actually never got diapers involved because I wanted to wait until they were totally comfortable with the idea and only put certain things into practice one step at a time.
Oh dear lord.. so much Miley Cyrus going on around the internet right now. What kills me is that her father was in the audience at that show and had to sit there and watch her grind on the foam finger thing and the Robin Thicke guy. Poor guy. Lol!
Erm.. I'm not really sure how that wasn't acceptable grammar. Not the best but not "terrible" the only shortened words were "you" and "avatar"..cranky pants.
Generally I encourage my little one to sit still with a toy or promises of a treat, usually a bottle, if she is good and let's me manipulate her arms/legs whatever way is easiest to get whatever she's wearing on or off.
I don't wear very often or go into "AB" mode but when I do I'm odd because I prefer pull-ups. Goodnites specifically there's just something about how snug they are that I enjoy very much!
I just googled "Adult Pokemon Pajamas" and got about 50 results.. I don't know how hard you're trying but it should be quite easy. Look for things that advertise as costumes as well.